III.
On the next morning, Arthur opened his eyes to his room dark with obscurity and light escaping the window under the closed curtains.
He turned around and stared at the empty spot at his right,
Her spot.
He felt his heart filled with pain with the idea that he would have to wake up without her for the rest of his life.
And that, he had not planned.
Arthur shook his head, trying to remind himself of what he had said the day before,
He had to move on.
Somehow.
It would take time,
Perhaps forever.
But he had to try.
At this moment, Merlin came in without knocking – as usual.
"Happy Birthday, my Lord!"
The King smiled but groaned for the sake of it.
"Thank you, Merlin."
The servant opened the curtains, as cheerful as ever.
Arthur fall down on his bed.
"As you kindly reminded me, this is my birthday. Any chance to catch a break from ruling?"
"Nope." smiled his friend seeing him sink into his pillows again, disappointed. "I'm afraid matters of State don't take a break for your Birthday my lord."
"Well, they should!" grunted again Arthur,
Merlin smiled and brought the breakfast.
"You'd be bored to death if you weren't King."
Arthur scoffed.
"You're probably right."
"As I always am."
"Now, I didn't say that."
"But we're both thinking it."
Arthur took the bread and threw it at Merlin, hitting him right on the back.
"Ouch!"
"Still got it." he smirked to himself, taking the plate.
Gwen was sat at her table, tears rolling down her cheeks and the favor she had given Arthur all those years ago in front of her.
She closed her eyes and reminded herself the mix of pain and love she had felt seeing this at her door.
Sadness because Arthur had brought it back to her as an end to their story and she had no one to blame for this but herself.
And God if she didn't want it to end.
She loved him so much…
But it was useless to go through that road again.
She had felt love too, because he had kept it during all those years...
She had had no idea that he did.
But then again, Arthur was so much more than people thought him to be.
And even her, it would seem.
Gwen shook her head slightly and got up,
She had to go to work.
But at this thought, her heart tightened even more.
It was Arthur's birthday.
She couldn't face him.
At this moment, interrupting her thoughts, someone knocked at her door.
"I'm coming." and Gwen surprised herself hoping to face two mesmerized eyes of the most beautiful blue ever, belonging to the man she deeply loved.
Instead, she saw Lancelot.
"Go away." she whispered, trying to close the door but he didn't let her.
"Wait, I'm not in search of trouble you know. I have a letter for you."
"I don't want it. Leave me alone."
"It's from your sister..."
Gwen stopped immediately,
"I don't have any sister and you know it."
"I swear it Gwen, you've got a sister. Your father's hidden child."
"Why would you have something like that?"
And it was so strange.
Lancelot sighed,
"I've travelled a lot, as you know. And during one of my trips found a woman who looked so much like you my heart broke. We started seeing each other and then she told me all about her father she didn't know but lived in Camelot. I put two and two together and it turned out her father is yours."
He handed her the letter,
"I don't believe you." she breathed.
"Read this then," he saw her hesitate and said again, "Read it Gwen." before placing the letter in her hand, she opened her mouth but he spoke first."I'm leaving now." he breathed and she closed the door behind him.
Hesitantly, Gwen looked at the letter before settling on a chair again, to think properly about it.
She took the letter and laid it on the table.
It wasn't possible.
Her father would never had done that.
Pushed by curiosity and the need to feel close to him again, she finally took the letter and opened it.
"Dear Guinevere,
I know you must ask yourself who I am. I know because I'm asking myself the same question about you.
My name is Sophia, I'm and I live in a small village called Cambour on the North of Camelot's border. I am 26 and grew up without my father, it's only at her death that my late mother told me I had a father well alive in Camelot.
I then heard he had been killed by Uther because he was using magic, it felt like I've been left an orphan all over again. But then hope rise, when someone told me that the man had two children, a son and a daughter.
They didn't know where his son was.
But his daughter was still in Camelot.
You, sister.
I'd like to hear about this great man who was my father and that my mother had loved so deeply. I would love to know you, because we are each others last family. And that means something.
I guess you too will have some questions for me and I will be glad to answer it as well as I can, but for that, we have to meet.
Let's tell, October, the 8th. I will be in the forest of Ne'mihr, waiting for you.
I know this is hard to believe, but please believe me.
I would never have guessed I had siblings, and nothing could have make me happier.
See you soon, dear sister,
S."
The letter escaped Gwen's hands and fell to the floor without Gwen doing something to prevent it.
She was under chock.
Her father had had an affair.
A secret child.
She had a sister.
But could it be, really?
Immediately, an other feeling seized Gwen's gentle and pure heart,
Love.
She didn't know this young woman but they had the same blood, the same father.
Her beloved father, whom she missed every second of every day.
They was born of the same love, given to a different person.
Gwen got up then,
She had taken her decision and would go to the meeting, hear by herself what this woman had to say.
Immediately, she froze.
October, the 8th.
It was today.
She vaguely thought about telling Arthur that she was leaving and that she had not forgotten his birthday, but she didn't.
She couldn't, rather.
For him it was even better if she stayed away from Camelot for a little while at least.
Gwen took a little bag and filled it with useful stuff, she then looked at the engagement ring laid on her table, and took it before searching for a chain to wear the ring on her neck.
She smiled sadly.
This way he would always be with her.
Then she looked at the bracelet Lancelot gave her and sighed,
Why did she even keep it?
Since the very beginning, Lancelot had done nothing but make things worse.
He had ruined her marriage.
Angry, she took the bracelet, removed it and threw it away with all her might.
Immediately, a malaise took her and made her loose her balance…
She laid a hand on her forehead, shaking.
Nausea took her, thoughts jostling in her mind and Gwen felt suddenly sick.
And she wanted to see Arthur.
She needed to see him so, so badly.
She couldn't explain it...
It was like a wave of love and affection coming to hit her right away and she had to stay sit for a few seconds more, crushed by the strength of her feelings for him.
Finally, after a little rest, she got out of her house, threw one last look toward the castle and left.
And maybe, maybe if all went well with her sister, she could even choose to stay there... forever.
Far away, she didn't notice Lancelot staring at her, a smile on his face, proud to have been able to achieve his goal.
Morgana would be pleased.
Merlin walked in the corridors, worried, in search of the King.
He had gone to see if Gwen was okay, earlier in the day.
Well, he actually went with a precise request; he wanted to know if Lancelot had said something special to Gwen since his return, or even had given her something special...
Not that he could tell Arthur that.
The young warlock was desperately searching an answer at the fact that his friend changed her mind so quickly.
Her behaviour was way too strange.
It wasn't her.
But when he had knocked on her little house on the morning, he had found nobody in there.
Merlin had been worried then.
He had got out and had saw Lancelot who nonchalantly leaning on the wall,
"Where is she?" he asked coldly,
"Who's that?" answered Lancelot with a voice which was searching to seem innocent,
"Where is Gwen?
Merlin took a step toward him, menacingly, but Lancelot didn't move an inch.
"I saw her leave this morning." he said.
"Leave?" his voice had been taken aback,
"Leave. Pshht No more Gwen around here." the knight smirked.
Merlin took an other step toward him and their face were almost touching before he said, coldly,
"Let things be clear. You can fool Arthur, you can fool Gwen, you can fool everyone but me. I know who you are, or rather, who you pretend to be..." he had saw Lancelot's eyes grew wider then,"And I wont let you, nor Morgana, nor everyone, hurt my friends."
Lancelot had stared at him a few seconds, surprised, before finally said,
"You know what Merlin," he declared, pushing him slightly to leave. "You're not really someone scary." And he left, whistling.
"If only you knew..." breathed the young warlock, fists clenched. Obviously this fake Lancelot didn't remember exactly who he was.
And now, he had to tell Arthur and he knew his friend would be devastated.
Arthur sighed and pushed his plate away.
He was not hungry.
He got up and left to the window like he did every day, searching for her.
But today, she wasn't there.
He worried she might have forgotten about his birthday and his heart tightened thinking it was probably the case.
He thought back about the same day, one year ago.
"Arthur! It's your birthday, why am I the one with the surprise?"
She was blindfolded and he couldn't help himself but laid a small kiss on her neck, making her shiver.
"Because, it's my birthday and I do what I want to."
"My love, you always do what you want to do." She teased. "Today is just no different."
He laughed at this and finally stopped walking,
"Here. Here we are..."
"May I open my eyes?"
He closed the gap between them and breathed in her ear, hands catching the blindfold,
"You may, milady..."
The blindfold left her eyes and she opened them, her eyelids blinking a couple of times for her to adjust to the light. And once it did, she realized she was standing in front of a wonderful grove of lilac flowers.
She turned around to Arthur and found out there was flowers there too, feeling her heart beat faster, she turned around to the other side and saw there the same thing.
Gwen felt tears pricking at her eyes and she closed them a few seconds, soaking up in the smell she loved so much...
"You made me a greenhouse."
"Do you like it?" she heard him whisper, she turned around to him and saw the concern in his face. The young woman threw then herself at his neck and kissed him tenderly, letting her lips explore his.
She felt the Prince's arms tightened around her and she smiled, happy.
"Thank you."
"Making you happy is the most beautiful gift that could have made done to me today." he nuzzled his nose with hers, "I love you."
"I love you too Arthur, with all my heart." she took his hand and tied it in hers before laid them on her heart. He smiled and kissed her again.
Arthur didn't even notice the tear that was rolling down his cheek until it fell on his hand.
He leant on the wall and ran a hand on his hair.
He could never forget her, he could never live without her!
How stupid he had been to believe he could.
But he had to bring her back at his side.
He was going to woo her again, making her understand that without her, he was nothing.
They didn't have to get married.
They had been perfectly happy the way things were and he could wait for her.
All eternity if he had to.
(After all, she did say it wasn't because of her feelings for him.)
He was going to fight for her.
He was a warrior, he was her warrior.
Feeling his heart full of excitation at the idea of having her back, Arthur took some clothes and without waiting for Merlin went to put them on.
A few minutes later, he heard his manservant came in.
"Arthur?"
"I'm here Merlin. What is it?"
"I need to tell you something..." he breathed with an unsteady voice,
"Later Merlin, I have to do something first."
"It actually can't wait Arthur."
"Merlin" sighed the King, taking his jacket, "I have to go see Gwen, so, unless you're close to death, please, can we report this talk – mostly interesting I have nodoubt, for an other time?"
"Actually," whispered the young warlock, "Gwen is concerned..."
Immediately, Arthur stopped what he was doing and stared at Merlin,
"How's that? Is something wrong with her?" in front of the lack of answer of his friend he said again, worried, "Merlin? Please answer me."
"I don't know..." he finally breathed in return,
Arthur frowned, puzzled.
"You don't... know?" He saw Arthur's fists clenched, "How's that you don't know?"
"Arthur," he hesitated before said in a breath, " Gwen is nowhere to be found. I asked around and it would appear she left Camelot."
He saw the young man paled right away, and Arthur barely found the strength to whisper.
"Where is she?"
And when once again, Merlin didn't answer, he said again, stronger this time,
"WHERE IS SHE?"
"I don't know..." breathed Merlin, trying to calm the King, "Arthur, please calm down..."
"Calm down? CALM DOWN?" he suddenly stopped and pointed his finger menacingly at Merlin, his eyes shinning with anger. But Merlin knew him so well by now – this other part of him, that he could see just what was lying carefully hidden behind Arthur's anger… Panic. The young King continued rambling, "Guinevere is missing and you're asking me to calm down? Are you valuing your life at all Merlin?"
The young servant breathed and hesitated before saying,
"Maybe… Have you considered the fact that she may not be missing?"
Immediately, Arthur stopped everything he was doing (which consisted only in pacing).
"What do you mean? Do you know something? Merlin, you must tell me if you know something, anything."
Merlin sighed.
This was not going to be easy.
"What I mean is, have you considered the fact that she might have chosen to leave?"
Arthur paled,
And then there was a silence for a few seconds.
"It doesn't make any sense. Guinevere would never do this to me."
"Arthur," whispered his friend, "You two aren't together anymore, maybe Gwen just wanted to made things easier for the both of you."
He saw the King closed his eyes a few seconds before opened them again, staring at the wall in front of him.
Merlin sighed,
He knew this look all too well and could have predicted the words leaving the King's mouth next.
"We are leaving at dawn Merlin,"
"Arthur..."
"It was not a question, nor a suggestion, it was an order."
Once Merlin gone, Arthur let himself fall on a chair heavily and buried his head in his hands, trying to make things clear.
Guinevere had left him...
Impossible.
She would never had done that.
She knew how hurt he would have been by her departure.
She knew him well enough to know he would rather be hurt with her saying goodbye than living with her leaving him without a word.
He knew her better than anyone.
Gwen would have come to him, would have told him she was leaving, would have told him why...
He was sure of that.
So,
It only left one answer..
She had been kidnapped.
The King felt his heart beat faster with worry at this project.
The only thing which had prevented him from becoming mad since their breakup was that now that they wasn't together anymore, she was safe.
And now?
He suddenly got up and went searching for some maps, preparing a bag for travel.
He was going to search for her, and he was going to bring her back to Camelot safe and sound, no matter what.
Gwen chose to stop for lunch and once settled, guilt took her.
She felt guilty she ran away without saying a proper goodbye to Arthur...
It wasn't fair for him.
And she knew he would be hurt beyond imagination once he would learn that she did leave on her own agreement.
She had been stupid and so much of a coward.
She closed her eyes, trying to prevent tears but a tear rolled from her closed eyes.
She shouldn't have done that.
But when facing the moment, she had not been able to summon enough bravoure to look into those wonderful blue eyes and told him, face to face, that she was leaving and worst, that she was not even sure of coming back.
She had hurt him enough for one lifetime.
And hurting him was also hurting herself.
There were enough hurt already.
Hearing a branch crack, she opened her eyes immediately and stood up, raising a sword.
Gwen wasn't the best warrior ever but she knew how to defend herself.
(Arthur had taught her, during sessions when they would most often than not ended up kissing one another instead of fighting...)
She raised her sword and said, with a voice she wanted steady enough.
"Is someone there?"
No answer came but an other crack,
"Who's there? I hear you, show yourself!"
She saw the leaves in front of her moving, as if someone was trying to walk toward her...
Her heart was echoing in her head...
The noise got closer, and closer and closer...
"Ah!" she screamed before noticing that the intruder was no one else but a wounded dog.
He stared at her for a few second before collapsing, exhausted.
"Oh my God..." she breathed, laying a hand to her heart, trying to force him returning back to a normal rhythm.
She then got closer to the animal and gently stroked his fur, she felt his ragged breath and looked at his wound,
"My poor friend..." she breathed and the dog whimpered then. She got up, trying to find something to heal him. "Don't worry," she said, "I'm going to take care of you."
At this moment, a memory came back to her and she stopped a few second.
"Guinevere!" screamed the young man as she ran toward the fawn, probably hurt, "Guinevere!" he screamed a little stronger, "Be careful, I beg you!"
They had been in the middle of one of their weekly date hidden in the forest, when something had caught her attention.
She reached the young deer and knelt, waiting for Arthur to reach her side before she said,
"It's a fawn Arthur. He's hurt, I think I can manage if he tries to attack me."
She raised a mocking eyebrow toward him and he laughed,
God, she loved him so much like that: free and spontaneous.
He was all hers to enjoy.
"And what are you up to down here?"
"I want to heal him."
He knelt beside her and took her hand in his, she locked her eyes onto his and saw them shinning with love,
"I love you." he breathed, getting closer to her and kissing her tenderly,
She smiled and looked at the fawn again,
"Would you carry him?"
"Have I got any choice in the matter?"
"You know you don't." she smiled and he laughed, standing up before helping her doing the same, she laid a hand on his chest and stroked it lightly before kissing his cheek.
"I love you too you know..."
The King smiled, stroked her cheek, then leant in to take the young deer without hurting him further."
Gwen swallowed and felt her heart screamed in her chest, the way he had looked at her this day...
She could never forget.
So much love.
So much devotion.
The young woman shook her head, reminded herself that now, because of her, he would never look at her again like that.
Merlin came back with his arms full and caught glimpses of Arthur by the window,
"Everything's OK?"
Arthur shot him a dead look and Merlin said again,
"Yeah... I guess it was not the smartest question ever asked huh?"
"What an insight Merlin!"
A slight silence settled,
Merlin knew exactly what was going on in Arthur's head.
"We will find her Arthur. We will."
The King didn't answer but his jaw clenched.
"Do you think... Do you think she left me without saying goodbye?"
Arthur turned around to see his friend and Merlin saw the tears in his eyes, and then he couldn't tell him the truth.
He couldn't tell him that yes, in his opinion and after he asked people in town, he did think Gwen left without being forced.
But without telling anyone either...
"I don't know." he said, but then added. "What I do know, is that she must have had a good reason to do whatever she did."
Arthur let out what vaguely seemed to be a chuckle without humour.
Then he looked down and said with a low voice,
"I just want to... I just want to be sure she is all right. I... I couldn't live knowing that something has come to her."
"I know." answered the young warlock,
Arthur slightly smiled before turning back to the window,
"You know, I think you should make an appearance to your own banquet." Arthur sighed but Merlin kept talking, "A lot of people are there, some travelled for quite some time and I think it would be bad seen to just don't go."
Arthur turned around, ready to refuse but he stopped,
"You're right." he sighed, "Did a lot of people make the travel?"
"Almost all of the royalty of the Five Kingdoms, with their families."
The King sighed again.
"Fine. I'll go."
Once she took care of the puppy, Gwen couldn't bring herself to abandon him so she stared at him and tried to take him in her arms but he was a big and heavy one.
Annoyed, she sat next to him and stroked his blond fur,
"I'm not giving up on you, you know."
She saw the dog shaking his tail and he opened bright dark eyes to her.
The young woman was able to create something which looked like as a sled and decided to take him until her final point of meeting.
After walking all afternoon, Gwen caught glimpses of the forest of Ne'mihr.
She stopped, realizing the size of it.
How was she going to do to find her sister in there?
Great, just great.
She started to move again, taking the dog behind her.
Gwen mechanically took the ring and stroked it, feeling it gave her strength.
As if Arthur was there, protecting her somehow as he always had done.
She took the way to the forest and, a few minutes later, she heard a new crack.
Gwen stopped, worried.
"Who's there?" she asked and this time, against her will, her voice was shaking,
No answer came but the crack got closer.
She stared a the dog in his makeshift, looking at her with such love and loyalty proper to animals, and she knew that whatever was to happen, she was not going to leave him behind.
She had given up on Arthur, she was never going that same mistake, with no one.
The noise got closer again and Gwen raised her sword, ready to defend themselves...
Arthur was ready in front of the Banquet's room, Merlin by his side.
"I don't see the point in all this."he sighed once again.
"You have to do it Arthur, You don't have to stay late, just report to anyone that you are grateful for their presence."
The King sighed for what seemed to be the hundred times this night,
"You know what Merlin? Sometimes, you can really say some things which actually make sense."
Merlin scoffed playfully.
"Thanks Sire."
"And it's freaking me out when you do." ended Arthur before coming in.
Merlin smiled and followed his friend.
Everyone had wished his birthday to the King, the Banquet went well and everyone was satisfied but Arthur couldn't help himself but thought about the woman he deeply loved.
At this moment, cutting him out of his thoughts, a man of some age though with still noble features got closer and Arthur got up,
"King of Nemeth,"
"My respects King Arthur," answered the man, they shook hand and the old King moved a little, letting appear a young woman. And without realizing it, Arthur found himself studying her. She was obviously gorgeous; with a beautiful pale face, long brown hair who fell in long curls on her shoulders, brown eyes sweet and shining… the perfect picture of a Princess. "Arthur, let me introduce to you my daughter, Princess Mithian."
Arthur got out of his trance and took the Princess's hand, taking it to his mouth slowly,
"Princess," he whispered,
"King Arthur," she responded equally low,
They stared at each other for a few seconds, without saying anything else but studying the other, before Arthur politely excused himself, leaving the room.
He ran a hand in his hair because he didn't know what had just happen, but he didn't have time to think about it.
Maybe in another life he could have wanted to get to know Mithian, maybe in another time he could have fallen in love with her.
In another life.
Because in this one, he was already very much spoken for.
And his heart belonged to Guinevere.
It always would.
He walked a little faster and reached his Chambers, opened the door and found Merlin in there, near their packed stuffs.
"It's time." said the King.
Gwen felt her breath stopped when she saw the young woman who stopped in front of her,
"Oh my God..." she breathed, dropping her sword under the chock.