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IV
"It can't be." breathed Gwen and her voice broke. "You..." she stared at the young woman in front of her, "You..." Gwen closed her eyes and a tear rolled off of it before she resumed herself enough to say. "You look so much like him."
Gwen opened her eyes again to look the person in front of her.
Her skin the same colour as hers; smooth dark hair contrary to her curly ones but what had shaken her was her eyes…
She had the eyes of their father.
And right at this moment,
Gwen knew she couldn't lie.
Because she knew those eyes.
Had looked into those eyes for a long, long time.
Through nightmares and cuddles and laughter…
"Is it true?" Sophia asked, getting closer to her slowly.
"Yes." Gwen sniffed because suddenly it was too much.
She missed her father so very much and seeing her eyes so similar to his brought back feelings she had thought she had buried deep enough.
"Excuse me but… This is a bit much for me to handle and I've had a very long week."
"Don't worry." smiled the woman.
They studied each other for a few seconds before Sophia turned around toward the dog and raised an eyebrow,
"Who is this?"
"A friend I made on the way. I hope you don't mind?"
A smile spread on the young woman's face.
Not the same his father had.
Gwen shook her head.
He wasn't coming back.
And Guinevere had to stop searching for him.
"Of course not!" she took her hand and Gwen let herself been led, still under shock. "I can't wait to introduce you! People are so happy to meet you."
"I..." Gwen started but she suddenly felt like she was about to faint.
"Everything's all right? "
"Yes I..." and everything was turning. "It happened to me this morning as well… Must be the nerves."
She saw Sophia stare at her for a few seconds before she said, shrugging.
"We'll show you to our doctor, he does miracles."
Gwen nodded weakly and they left.
"Arthur!" shouted Merlin.
The King slowed down and waited for his friend.
"Arthur, you need a break." tried Merlin, more worried that he would have wanted to seem. "We have not stopped since we left Camelot, hours ago. Which means that you haven't eaten, barely drank and haven't slept at all!"
"What difference with what I do when we are in the Castle?" Arthur said again, slowly, searching for a hint of where could have gone the one he loved.
He couldn't stop.
They were so behind her already,
She could be anywhere.
But then his manservant was grumbling and he forced himself to listen, laughed when he did.
"At least in Camelot I don't have a bad conscience about it, because I can't pretend I don't see you unhappy."
"Thanks Merlin."
"Always my pleasure."
Arthur suddenly dismounted off of his horse, his heart beating at full speed when he got closer and laid a finger on...
"Blood...." he breathed and his heart stopped.
Merlin ran to him, seeing the King's state.
"Arthur?"
"There is blood here."
"Slow down, it doesn't have to be Gwen's blood..."
Arthur closed his eyes, then opened them, searching for any signs showing that it wasn't hers.
He needed to stay focus.
Surrendering to panic would not help him, nor Guinevere.
So he took a deep breath and let his soldiers reflexes take upon his feelings.
He was going to kill those who had taken her away from him.
All of them.
Until the very last.
And he swore that if Morgana was involved…
Even if she was his sister – still was despite of everything that happened, and even if it would broke his heart to do it…
He swore he wouldkill her too if she was the reason why Guinevere ran away from him...
He saw what was left of a fire and got up.
There he found more bandages covered in-
"More blood..." whispered Merlin and he didn't quite understand the relieved laugh that escaped the King's lips, "Arthur?"
"Hairs Merlin, there is hairs!"
"I don't think you need sleep anymore, I think you need help."
At this moment Merlin felt a pain in the back of his head,
"Ouch!" he shouted, rubbing the aching place.
"There is hairs because..."
"You said that already, if you want..."
"Merlin, if you value your life, you will not end this sentence." glared the King. "This is animals' hairs you idiot! Which means..."
"Which means?"
Arthur sighed and shook his head, relieved.
"That Guinevere is not the one who got hurt, an animal was."
And he smiled to himself because he remembered that day Gwen had rescued a fawn which was hurt and if he knew her as well as he thought he did – and he did, then they were on the right track.
This was Guinevere's doing.
They would find her.
"Let's go, Merlin."
Merlin sighed loudly but followed his friend.
Gwen was laid down with the dog she had decided to call 'Trouble', the truffle on her knees.
She opened her eyes and smiled,
The dog shook his tail and she slightly laughed.
Then her hand immediately went to check on Arthur's ring around her neck and her heart stopped when she didn't feel it.
No.
Oh God, no.
This was the only thing she valued that was hers.
The only thing she couldn't bear to lose.
It felt like losing Arthur all over again.
Gwen got up a little, searching at her side frantically.
"No. No no no no no no no no no NO!" she felt tears pricked at her eyes, "Oh God no..."
"Is this what you're looking for?" said a voice.
Gwen stopped right away and froze at the coldness of the voice.
She turned around and saw a shadow on the corner of the room,
"Sophia?"
"Excuse me," smiled the young woman, walking toward her, her voice was warm and welcoming again and Gwen thought she might have imagine this sudden coldness in her panic. "I didn't mean to scare you."
Gwen smiled and her gaze were drawn by the chain her sister was holding.
"Oh thank God, you found it!"
She held her hand to get it back but the woman walked away.
"It's a wonderful ring..." she said, looking more closely at it.
"It is."
"The man who gave it to you must have loved you so very much..."
"He did." breathed Gwen, closing her eyes and a tear rolled down her face.
She didn't need anyone to tell her how much Arthur loved her.
She knew it.
As she knew she broke his heart.
When she opened the eyes again, she saw the ring, at her side.
"Thanks." she breathed before put it in its right place, against her heart.
"You loved him too, didn't you?"
"Yes, more than anything." she stroked the ring, "I still do. I always will."
"What happened, then?"
Gwen looked outside by the window,
"I'm tired." she whispered,
"Of course..." breathed the young woman, "I'll let you rest."
"Sophia?" called Gwen before she left and the woman turned around, "Thank you."
She then saw the smile on her lips before Sophia left, saying,
"Don't worry about that. I came to tell you the doctor is coming."
They had left Camelot for now more than 12 hours, and the King didn't seem ready to stop yet.
Merlin was starting to fall asleep on his horse when suddenly, he felt cold.
"Arthur!" he shouted, trying to dry his wet clothes.
"You were falling asleep."
"Yes, well, if we had had if only one break or only slept even a few hours since we left, maybe this would not happening!"
"We can't stop Merlin, I will not let Guinevere down."
"Arthur..."
"It was not a question Merlin." and the King put his horse to a gallop,
"Dollop Head," mumbled Merlin before following him.
Hearing noises at the entrance of the room, Gwen opened one eye and saw a young man getting closer to her.
He was tall, dark haired, and had green eyes.
He smiled at her in a bright way and Gwen found herself thinking that she could have had a crush on him, if the image of a Great King with golden hair and sea blue eyes weren't always in her mind and heart.
Forever and ever, it would be Arthur for her and no one else.
"Hello." he said, "I'm Paul, this village's physician."
"Hello Paul," she said, gently, "I'm Guinevere, but most of people call me Gwen."
Everyone except one person actually…
And she shivered at the thought of the way her name rolled off his tongue…
And then she shook her head, trying to get out of her day dream.
This wouldn't help.
"Well... Gwen, I'm glad to see you're awake."
She smiled, and her other hand was stroking Trouble's head, who was calmly sleeping next to her.
"I heard you almost fainted back there?" he said again. "Does that happen to you a lot?"
"Dizziness, nausea, malaise, fever and I know what it sounds like." she cut him off." but trust me when I say that I am not pregnant."
He looked like he didn't believe her.
"You know Gwen, sometimes even the first time can-"
She blushed and then cut him.
"I know but it can't be." she took a deep breath, her cheeks flaming. "I... I didn't do anything, yet. With anyone."
My God, why was she blushing so much?
Because she would have wanted Arthur to be her one and only lover.
She had saved herself from him and only him.
She didn't want anybody else.
Ever.
Yet she almost cheated on him with Lancelot.
It didn't make any sense.
Sometimes, she thought the only answer was that she had been enchanted somehow.
But this thought would soon leave her mind.
Magic couldn't be blame for everything.
This was her fault, hers and hers alone.
She would have to find a way to live with that.
"I see." smiled gently Paul, "In this case..." he studied her and looked at her hand which was stroking the dog,
And then she saw him frown,
"What's on your mind?"
"This mark on your wrist, when did you got it?"
Puzzled, Gwen stared at the mark.
"I..." she frowned, too, "I didn't even notice that I had it..." She looked again and saw the mark was circling her wrist, "I must have... burnt myself somehow, I suppose."
"Probably..." whispered the doctor, puzzled.
Gwen looked up at him a few seconds.
"What's going on?"
The young man looked around, as if he was afraid someone might hear him before he said in a low voice,
"Listen Gwen, there is something you must know..."
"Paul?" a clear voice then asked,
The doctor jumped and threw a look at Gwen before closing his eyes slightly and looking behind him, toward the door.
"She is fine Sophia. In fact," he turned to Gwen, "You can leave now if you want."
He got up,
"If you ever feel sick again, you know where to find me."
And he left, leaving a very puzzled Gwen behind.
Arthur and Merlin went through a forest and a the end of it, they saw a small village.
"Arthur..." breathed Merlin, "I could really use a nap right now."" he rubbed his eyes,
"She is here." breathed the King, didn't bothering to answer.
"How do you know that?"
"I can feel it Merlin, I couldn't explain it but I know that Gwen is here."
It was like after being separated so long, his heart was screaming out for hers.
Merlin opened his eyes and stared at his friend.
He looked sick and exhausted but nothing could appear to stop him from his quest.
He had to rest however because otherwise he was going to crumble down.
It was impossible for him to continue this way, they would not reach the village for at least two hours and the King would collapse before that.
"Arthur," he said with an imperious voice, "you need to rest."
The King stared at him just as if he had just said the most stupid thing ever said.
"Didn't you hear me Merlin? Gwen is there. I'm almost with her."
Merlin sighed.
"I doubt she would want to see you in that state."
Arthur raised an eyebrow.
"And what's that supposed to mean, exactly?"
Merlin sighed again.
He was too stubborn.
There was only one thing left to do...
"Listen, either you get down of this horse on your own or I'll knock you out. I'm done with all this. One way or another, Sire, you'll sleep."
Arthur slightly laughed at this, eyes crinkling at the corner in genuine amusement.
"You are going to knock me out?" he chuckled and Merlin nodded very seriously, though a smile was tugging at the corner of his lips. "When you threaten someone Merlin, the least you can do is look credible." Arthur dismounted off of his horse, "For example," he drew his sword and walked toward the young warlock. "If I told you" he raised his sword toward his chest slowly, "that I was going to run you through right here, right now. And no one would ever know." He gently pressed the tip of the sword against his chest but Merlin didn't move, only raised an eyebrow in challenge at his friend. After a few seconds, the King lowered his sword, chuckling fondly. "Fine. We'll take a break, but not more than half an hour, is it clear? "
Merlin nodded quickly and barely settled on the ground, the two young men fell asleep.
Gwen was walking around town, a scarf around her shoulders and Trouble by her side.
The young woman was upset and she couldn't help herself but think back to the doctor's words,
Why had he looked so scared?
She sighed and resumed her walk when she heard noises behind her.
"Hello? Is there anybody?"
"Excuse me, dear Sister," answered Sophia and Gwen laid a hand on her heart,
"You like it, don't you? Startling me like this, I mean."
Sophia slightly laughed at this and said again.
"Everything's all right?
"Yes," smiled Gwen. "You guys have a beautiful village."
"Thanks. It's nothing compared to Camelot but... It's not that bad."
Gwen quickly nodded, she didn't want to talk about Camelot.
Camelot would always be her home.
And the people inside, too.
One people in particular.
She shook her head.
"Are you ready to talk about it?" Sophia tilted her head and Gwen jumped,
"Talk about what?"
"This man who gave you this ring."
She looked down.
"Look…"
"You know, maybe you would feel better if you talked about it."
"Sophia I..." but her sentence was cut when her dog started to growl,
"Calm down, Trouble.", then turned around again to her sister, "Thank you for the offer Sophia, but I don't want to talk about that right now...It's too painf-"but the dog kept going, "Calm down!" But the puppy continued and her young mistress looked at around her and thought she heard a noise, "Haven't you heard anything?" she asked to Sophia, turning around the noise source.
Gwen then jumped,
"Are you okay?"
"There was somebody there..."
"Must have been someone from the village." shrugged Sophia.
"Probably." breathed Gwen laying again a hand on her had stopped and looked at his mistress with his wide dark eyes. "It's OK dog, I'm not mad at you."
After that, Gwen looked again at the place where she thought she had seen somebody sneaking around, but her sister caught her by the hand,
"Come, I still have so much to show you!"
The young woman smiled and followed her, looking one last time behind her.
"Merlin"
"Merlin."
"MERLIN!"
Merlin woke up with a start.
He opened his eyes and saw Arthur in front of him, even paler than earlier.
"You haven't slept, have you?"
"I did."
"Ten minutes?"
The King didn't bother to answer but walked to his horse.
He slept very little,
All he could do was think.
What if Gwen didn't want to come back with him?
He was sure he couldn't handle that.
He loved her more than anything in this world.
He couldn't live without her.
She was meant to be his Queen and he was her knight in shinning armor, wasn't he?
Arthur shook his head with strength.
No.
She loved him.
Even if she had left him he knew that she loved him too.
Gwen was honest.
She was true, she would never have pretended to love him.
Gwen loved him, he would have known otherwise.
At the same time, he had not seen the betrayal of Morgana so...
No.
This wasn't the same.
Guinevere was not Morgana.
She was so much stronger.
And if the bottom of the problem was that she wasn't ready to get married…
He could wait for her.
They didn't even have to marry,
He'll make it work.
Somehow.
"Arthur?" asked gently Merlin and the King jumped, "She will come back with us."
Arthur shut his eyes closed, his friend knew him much to well.
It was almost annoying at times, but he had to admit it was also comforting – not that he was going to admit that to Merlin.
"And if she doesn't want to?" he finally voiced the fear that was hidden carefully in his heart.
Because despite everything,
He wouldn't be able to force her.
He never could force her to be with him.
So where would that leave him?
Alone in Camelot.
"Listen..." Arthur turned around and stared at his manservant and friend, "Gwen loves you. More than anything. I would bet my life on it." Arthur looked down, "She will come back to Camelot with us, just... you'll have to find the right words to break down whatever walls she had built up."
"And how do I do this?"
"You speak with your heart Arthur."
Arthur sighed,
"As easy as that, huh?"
Merlin smiled sadly.
"I never said it would be easy."
Arthur sighed loudly.
"Come one Merlin, we have to go."
Gwen got out the house, a smile on her lips.
She had been warmly welcomed by everyone, she had met some marvellous people and that had cheered her up.
She thought about what had happened at some point in the night...
A man had bowed before her, asking her to dance and he was clearly interested in her but Gwen had only stared at him, without moving.
Tired, he gave up when he understood she wasn't interested.
And Gwen had realized that no matter how hard she was going to try, she could never love or even look at someone else other than her Arthur.
"Guinevere"
The young woman stopped right away, her heart stopping as well and she closed her eyes.
It couldn't be.
She missed him.
She felt lost and alone, heartbroken and wanted nothing more than him being here with her.
She just wanted so much to hear this voice that she was having hallucinations...
"Guinevere, look at me"
Then, a sob took her.
The way her body tingled, it could only mean one thing…
He was there.
A tear rolled down her face and she heard someone dismounted off of a horse.
Then, a few seconds later she saw two feet in front of her.
She closed her eyes a little tighter and felt this tender hand raise her chin,
"Look at me Guinevere," he whispered then,
Another tear escaped her eyes and when he wiped it away, she shivered at his touch.
Oh God,
If she opened her eyes and this was just another dream…
She would not be able to handle that.
"Look at me, my love."
She slowly opened her eyes and looked up, to find blue eyes looking tenderly at her.
And she lost the fight against her tears.
A sob took her again as her hand went to cover his own, still on her cheek.
"Arthur." she only breathed, her voice shaking.