I was afraid, my heart pounding so hard I feared it would explode out of my chest. Everywhere I looked there was snow, no trees or rocks, not even a blue sky, only snow. Snow. It was falling gently but I was still uneasy. I looked down, seeing that I was standing in a small circle of burnt grass, barefoot. I was dressed in a light flowing red dress that offered no warmth or protection from the harsh winter snow. Strangely, I wasn't cold. I was hot.
I jumped as I heard something sizzling close by. I turned around only to find nothing, it continued but I couldn't find the source. Then I froze, my gaze traveling to my left arm, slowly lifting it up to about the level of my chest. Everything seemed to slow down as I began to stare at my arm, and that's when I saw it. A single snowflake drifted down onto my arm, but the moment it touched my arm, it melted, that sizzling sound and steam coming from the place where it once was. After another moment the snowflakes couldn't even reach my skin before turning to mist. That's when I looked up.
Surrounding me was multiple groups of people. On the right were the Starks, but they were separated into groups. Bran and Rickon in one, Robb and Catelyn in another with Arya and Sansa standing on their own. Neither Ned nor Theon was anywhere nearby. On their right was a cluster of blondes, but standing apart from them was a dwarf man with dirty blond hair. And on my left was a girl with silver hair like my own, with three small dragons behind her and a small group of people. And there standing in front of me was Jon.
Jon stood apart from the small groups of people surrounding me in the circle, but he was older and different somehow. An older Ghost was by his side as well. Jon was dressed in armor, a cape made of black feathers sheltering him from the elements. He had a sword and seemed to be leaning on it, watching me curiously.
"Choose" they all chanted at once, making me flinch.
"W-what?" I asked, not sure who to look at, or who to answer to.
"Choose" they all chant once again as I frantically turn about the circle, Winter suddenly appearing at my side whimpering.
"Choose" they chant in a louder voice. I turned towards Jon, looking for an answer.
"Choose" they chant again, all but Jon, who only continues to stare at me with his normally grim expression. Winter continued to whimper, seeming to stare at Ghost, begging to go to him.
"Choose"
"Choose, or they will," Jon says calmly, continuing to stare at me.
"Why?" I ask as the others chant once more, still not understanding why.
"For the future" he answers simply as they chant again, this time they take a step forward, all of them but Jon.
"Fine, then I choose you" I answer, only for another chorus of Choose, everyone taking one step closer.
"I'm not a choice" he answers with a sad smile.
"Jon please, don't make me choose another" I beg, about to move towards him, but I couldn't. I couldn't leave my circle of dead grass. I was trapped.
"Jon, help!" I cry out, trying to will my way out of the circle and to him.
"I'm sorry darling, but I can't," he tells me with almost a loving look as they chant again, advancing further.
"I-I don't know who to choose" I call, fear racing through me as they obstructed Jon from view.
"Yes, you do" I hear Jon call.
"How?!" I call back as the circle gets smaller.
"You've made it before!" I hear him shout. My heart starts beating harder and faster as they get closer. Winter's whimpering only growing louder. I thought I heard Jon shout something else, but I couldn't make it out.
I woke up with a gasp, sitting upright suddenly in my bed, seeing Winter whimpering at the door.
"It was just a dream" I mumble to myself, trying to calm down. Suddenly there was a knock on my door, causing me to jump.
"Y..yes?" I ask, still feeling shaken by the strange dream. Why would I need to choose?
"It's Jon...and Ghost, I uh think he wants to see Winter, he's been whimpering all morning," Jon says through the door, causing Winter to start scratching it. She was still a little pup, but both her and Ghost were getting bigger by the day.
"Right...Just uh, give me a moment" I mumble, shakily getting out of bed and pulling on an old robe, walking to the door, and opening it.
"Come on in," I say tiredly, Ghost instantly running inside and tackling Winter, I turn and watch them with an empty smile on my lips, hearing Jon enter and close the door.
"You uh...look tired" Jon mumbles, causing me to turn back around and face him.
"I look like hell don't I?" I ask with a tired sigh. He only nods, giving me a sympathetic smile.
"Yeah, you do. Is everything alright?" He asks, concern filling his beautiful dark brown eyes.
"I uh...just had a very interesting dream" I admit, moving to my trunk in front of the bed and sitting down.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks, not daring to move from the door.
"I doubt that would help, I can barely make any sense of it myself," I say with a tired smile, turning to look at him. He only smiles back, both of us glancing back at the pups playing on my bedroom floor in front of the fire.
"I'll leave him here then, so you can dress. I doubt I could get him to leave Winter" Jon says awkwardly, moving to open the door.
"Jon?" I ask softly, making him pause and turn to face me.
"Yes?" He asks.
"You...you don't regret it, do you?" I ask nervously, looking down at my hands as the words leave my lips.
"I don't regret anything" He answers, a bit of confidence returning to his voice.
"Do you?" He asks me, causing me to look back up into those comforting eyes of his.
"Never" I answer, smiling at him. He smiles back.
"See you at breakfast," Jon tells me opening up my door and leaving the room. As the pups continue to wrestle on the floor, I pull on my work pants and shirt and lace up my boots, washing my face and brushing my hair in between. I didn't bother braiding my hair today, leaving it in its wavy state. I pulled on my cape of white furs, Sansa had made it for me for my name day the previous year, the day Ned brought me to Winterfell.
"Alright you two, let's go," I tell the pups, opening up my bedroom door, Ghost, and Winter race down to the dining hall ahead of me. I entered the dining hall, seeing all of the Starks already seated at the table. Ned and Catelyn were seated at the head table, while everyone else was sitting at one of the tables on the left side of the room.
I smiled as I saw Ghost and Winter eating next to each other under the table by Jon. I walked over and took my place between Jon and Robb, facing Arya and Sansa.
"Good morning everyone," I say as I take my seat, a plate full of bacon and eggs instantly placed in front of me.
"Morning" They mumbled through their food. Everyone continued to eat, making idle conversation as they did. Robb and Theon were talking, Arya and Sansa were arguing with one another as usual and Bran and Rickon were whispering and giggling among themselves. Leaving me and Jon to sit next to one another in awkward silence.
"What's wrong with you too?" Arya asks after a few minutes, making me look up from my meal.
"What do you mean?" I ask the attention of the table instantly turning to me and Jon.
"Well normally you and Jon are talking non stop, now you'll hardly look at one another so what gives?" Arya asks as she takes another big bite of ham. I try to suppress the blush rising to my cheeks.
"There isn't anything wrong with us" I answer back simply with a nervous smile.
"Did Jon finally stick ya?" Theon calls from Robb's right, causing Robb to elbow him in the side rather roughly. I dared a glance at Jon and saw him glancing at me.
"Don't be nosy Arya, it's not ladylike. Besides if Jon and Emelya want to be with one another that's their business" Sansa says before taking another dainty bite of her breakfast.
"I wasn't being nosy" Arya grumbles.
"Were too" Sansa says in that stubborn tone of hers, meaning her and Arya were about to have at it.
"I was not!" Arya shouts at Sansa giving her a dirty look.
"Alright! Enough" Ned calls from the head table, silencing the rest of the room.
"Right, now that you're quiet I have an announcement to make" Ned says with a calm voice.
"The royal family is riding north for Winterfell, they should be here in a week, meaning you all need to be on your best behavior" Ned says as he goes to take a drink of water.
"Does that mean prince Joffery will be coming too?" Sansa asked, a hopeful look in her eyes. Ned smiles at her.
"Yes, they will all be guests here" He answers simply before turning to look at me.
"Emelya, I want to speak with you after breakfast" He tells me with a worrying glance and for good reason. If Robert Baratheon found out I was a Targaryen, he would have me killed and my white hair was a dead give away, even if I am 'kissed by snow'. And if it wasn't my hair he saw, it would be my violet eyes.
"Of course my lord" I answer turning back to my breakfast, beginning to eat slower. Soon it was just me and Jon and the direwolf pups left in the dining hall.
"You alright?" Jon asks turning to face me.
"I suppose" I mumble, finally finishing my breakfast.
"Emelya" Ned calls from the hallway.
"We'll talk later" Jon whispers to me before getting up himself, both Ghost and Winter following him out of the room. I get up as well and walk over towards Ned, following him silently into Winterfell's crypt.
"Do you know why I brought you down here?" Ned asks, breaking the silence as we approach Lyanna's tomb.
"I'm assuming it has to do with the royal family coming to visit" I answer, looking up at Lyanna's statue.
"You won't be safe with the King here, something I think you know" Ned mumbles, looking up at the statue as well.
"What would you have me do?" I ask quietly, not wanting to disturb her resting place.
"When they arrive, I want you to stay in the stables and keep your hair covered at all costs, try to stay as far away from them as possible. If you're caught, tell them as little as possible, do you understand?" He asks turning to face me, I do the same.
"I understand," I say softly. He smiles at me.
"Good" he answers and turns, walking to the crypt's exit. I stay inside a few minutes more, looking up at Lyanna's statue, quietly ask for her forgiveness under my breath before I turn and leave the crypt myself.
"Emelya! Will you play chase with me and Shaggydog?" Rickon asks running over to me, the small black wolf running alongside him.
"You better start running" I tell him with a large smile, making him laugh and take off running across the Winterfell center. I start jogging after him, chasing him through the corridors and up and down the stairs. I laugh as I get close to catching him, turning the corner to see him stopped in front of Robb.
"Now what are you two doing?" Robb asks smiling down at Rickon as I walk behind him. I instantly pulling Rickon into a hug from behind, making him giggle as I pick him up.
"I won!" I smile before setting Rickon back on the ground.
"Not fair, you always win" Rickon laughs with a smile, his cheeks turning a bright red with his laughter.
"Better luck next time," I say.
"Can we play again?" Rickon asks with a happy smile, practically jumping in place.
"Maybe later, Emelya is going riding with me and Bran," Robb says, making Rickon turn to face him.
"Awww, can't she do that later?" Rickon begs.
"When I get back we can play again" I reason with Rickon, making him turn back to face me.
"Alright, promise?" He asks holding out his pinky to me. I smile and bend down, linking his pinky with mine.
"Promise," I tell him back with a smile, right as he runs off with Shaggydog at his heels.
"You're good with him," Robb tells me as I stand back upright.
"He's a nice boy, and fast," I say, making Robb laugh.
"Made you tired did he?" Robb teases, making me laugh.
"Or was it Jon?" Robb asks, making my laughter stop.
"You know we haven't" I mumble. Robb only smiles softly at me.
"I know, but you've kissed haven't you?" Robb asks, making me give him a strange look.
"Jon was asking how to kiss properly last week, I'm guessing he wanted to know for you" Robb teases, making me blush.
"Yes...we have" I answer back, feeling embarrassed.
"Good, it was only a matter of time," Robb tells me with a smile, offering me his arm.
"Allow me to escort you to the stables, my lady?" Robb asks. I smile as I take his arm, rolling my eyes.
"Come on Robb, you know I'm not a lady" I answer as we begin walking back down the stairs towards the stables.
"Of course you are! You're one of us" He answers as we continue on.
We meet Bran at the stables and saddle up the horses, Robb giving me a lift up much to my protest. We ride a little way into the woods before we reach a clearing with a stump in the center.
"What are we doing here?" I ask as Robb gets down from his horse.
"We, are going to teach Bran how to shoot properly" Robb answers, holding up a bow and sheath of arrows. I get down from the horse, as does Bran and we walk over to Robb.
"Emelya, care to show him how it's done?" Robb asks, offering the bow and sheath up to me, which I gladly take.
"She can shoot?" Bran asks as I take a few steps forward, pulling on the sheath and grabbing an arrow.
"Indeed she can, and she's going to help you learn as well," Robb says from behind me as I knock the arrow and pull back the bowstring. I let it loose instantly, the arrow hitting the center of the stump.
"The trick is not to over think it" I explain "Look at what you want to hit, and just let go"
I walk back over to Bran and hand him the bow along with the sheath of arrows. He takes them from my hands nervously. He pulls on the sheath and takes a few steps forward, grabbing an arrow and putting in on the bow. He pulls back and releases, the arrow falling short and hitting the ground in front of the stump.
"Not bad," Robb says in encouragement, as Bran loads another arrow. Robb and I stand silently, watching Bran practice, each of us seeming to will the arrow to hit its mark. Finally, after using up almost all the arrows in the sheath, Bran hit's the middle of the stump.
"I did it," Bran says with a sigh. He walks back over to me and Robb with a relieved smile.
"Great job Bran," I tell him as he hands me the bow.
"Now you can go pick up your arrows," Robb tells him with a smile.
"Oh alright" Bran mumbles, walking over to the ground full of arrows and begins picking them up.
"Do you remember the first time you shot a bow?" Robb asks, giving me a knowing smile.
"I do, I was Bran's age I think. I stole an arrow and bow from the armory and snuck out here to practice. But of course, I wasn't as sneaking as I thought I was, and you followed me out here" I say with a smile, crossing my arms over my chest, trying to keep warm.
"Yes, I followed you out here because I thought you were going to hurt yourself. But then I saw you practicing and you seemed to be a natural at it. So I thought that I would rather help you get better at it than get you in trouble with father" Robb recalls, watching Bran thoughtfully.
"You thought about all of that when you were 9?" I asked with a laugh.
"Hey! I wanted to help you" Robb says in a playful defensive tone.
"And you did, thank you" I answer with a smile. He smiles back.
"Alright, I'm finished," Bran says walking back with the sheath full of arrows.
"We better head back," I say walking towards my horse, Bran follows suit.
"Can we come back?" Bran asks as Robb climbs onto his horse, me and Bran doing the same.
"I don't see why not" Robb answers and we make the trek back to Winterfell. I couldn't help the nerves I felt as we rode back, my mind wandering from my dream to the royal family riding this way.
As we rode back through the gates, Winterfell felt different. It was no longer my sanctuary, a place I thought I'd call home for the rest of my life. Somehow in that short ride, it changed, I changed.
The days leading up to the King's arrival seemed to fly by. Everyone was preparing to host the King, his family and his large train of people said to be riding with him. Sansa was radiating excitement, talking to me about Joffery and speculating on how handsome he was. Arya seemed as if she could careless, but I would catch her now and then talking to Nymeria about what the knights might be like. I, however, seemed to be the only one less than thrilled about their impending arrival. So I went for a walk to clear my head.
Me, Ghost and Winter were walking along the path, to our training spot. They were inseparable, so Jon and I would take turns watching over them and training them. Occasionally we would do it together, but neither of us seemed to be able to find the time to. We continued walking, a raven on my shoulder when we approached the clearing.
"Alright you two, do you remember what we were working on yesterday?" I asked pulling out a scroll from my pocket and handing it to the raven. Both wolves seeming to already know, they walked to the opposite side of the clearing and sat down, waiting.
"I'll take that as a yes" I mumble and move my shoulder up, sending the raven up into the air. It circles around the clearing before landing a few feet in front of both of the wolves.
"Ghost, you first," I say. I watch as Ghost walks over to the raven and gently grabs the large scroll from the raven's leg and carrying it back towards where Winter was, seeming to take care to be quiet in front of the raven.
"Good boy Ghost" I praise, the raven flying back to my shoulder as I pulled out another large scroll of paper.
"Alright Winter, your turn," I say, repeating the process from before. We continue a few more times until it seems perfect.
"Good job, both of you" I praise, bending down as they walk over to me, giving them some leftover meat from the night before. I stand back up and shake the raven off of my shoulder, sending it back to Winterfell. I begin walking towards the Godswood, Winter, and Ghost following close behind me as I walk.
After a short walk, we approach the small pool of water. I sit at the base of the tree, the wolves sitting by the water. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes, exhaling slowly, trying to calm my racing heart. I stared into the pool of water, hoping it would give me some comfort to take with me for the days to come.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't think anyone else would be here"
I look up and see Catelyn walking over towards me. Both wolves seem to wake up simultaneously, staring at Catelyn as she walked closer, looking like they were ready to pounce on her if given the chance.
"I'm sorry my lady, I can leave if you wish," I said about to get up.
"Oh please, there's no need. And I'd enjoy the company" she says with an easy smile, taking a seat next to me.
"Strange, I don't think I've ever seen you here before" Catelyn mumbles, giving me a curious glance.
"I don't come very often, I know you like to come here so I try to give you your space" I admit calmly.
"That's very kind of you," Catelyn says with a gracious smile, nerves lacing her voice.
"Is everything alright my lady?" I ask, seeing the worry in her eyes.
"I fear the King is coming to take my Ned away from me" she admits, almost immediately the tension leaving her face.
"Why would he do that?" I ask.
"His hand died recently...why else would he ride all that way to come here?" Catelyn says, looking down at her hands, rubbing them together absently, almost mindless.
"I'm sorry" I whisper, not thinking of anything else I could say to bring her comfort. If the hand did die, and Robert is riding all this way then her speculations must be true. She stays quiet, continuing to stare into the pool of water. I do the same. We stay like that for who knows how long, each of us searching for comfort and security, hoping to wake up from this nightmare we've found ourselves in.
"I'll leave you to it" I mumble, getting up and walking away, leaving Catelyn to her prayers. Ghost and Winter follow me as I walk back towards Winterfell.
"Ah, there you lot are"
I turn around and see Jon walking over to me and the pups.
"What are you doing out here?" I ask walking over towards him.
"Looking for you and the wolves" he answers, meeting me halfway. It was then I realized how much taller he was, the beard and defined jaw. It was like he changed somehow right before my eyes.
"Well, you found us," I say with a nervous smile.
"We...never got a chance to talk, about breakfast the other day" Jon whispers.
"Oh right...well, I'll be staying in the stables while the Baratheons are here, it's safer that way," I say giving my brief explanation.
"Makes sense, so I suppose I won't see you at the royal feast then?" Jon teases.
"I'm afraid not" I answer back, unable to help my growing smile.
"I'll sneak you some food," He says taking a step towards me.
"And some ale?" I ask, closing the gap between us, both of us smiling and staring into one another's eyes.
"Of course, whatever the lady wants," he says softly, leaning towards me.
"If you think I'm anything like a lady than you know nothing Jon Snow" I tease back, leaning into him with a smile, our lips connecting for the second time in two weeks.
And for that brief, fleeting moment, everything was perfect.
And then they arrived.