I was shaking with nerves, the royal family was spotted a few hours outside of Winterfell, meaning that they would be here before nightfall. One of the stable hands had given me a torn brown hooded cloak to wear while the royal family was there. I was wearing it currently, just in case they showed up earlier than planned.
"Are you excited to see what the prince looks like?" Sansa asked for what must have been the millionth time in 2 days. I was in her room, brushing and braiding her hair for the prince's impending arrival.
"I suppose" I mumble, continuing to focus on her braid. Ned was supposed to tell the others that I would be staying in the stables to make room for the guests and that I wasn't to be bothered. Sansa, however, was adamant about having a beautiful braid like mine for when the prince arrived and took me from my hiding spot in the stables to her chambers. I couldn't bring myself to snap at her or deny her this simple request, she was like a sister to me after all.
"Come on, he's a prince! If we got married I'd be a princess! And I'd become queen" Sansa squealed in delight. I couldn't help but smile at her innocence, her ignorance of the world. I was glad to know she wasn't ambitious, at least not yet.
"You'd make a wonderful queen," I say with a smile, giving in to her hopes.
"You really think so?" She asks, a grin creeping up to her lips.
"Of course! You're sweet, fair and kind. You'd rule justly. The seven kingdoms would be lucky to have you as their queen" I tell her with a smile of encouragement.
"I think you'd make a good queen too, you put everyone else first, that's an important thing to have," Sansa says, turning to look up at me with her sweet smile. I lean down and give her a quick hug, making her laugh.
"Alright now hold still, I'm almost done," I tell her, reaching back for her hair as she turns back around. As I finish braiding her hair she goes on to tell me what she thinks life in King's Landing would be like and how she wants to go see it, I tell her I'm sure she will someday.
"Alright, I'm going to go down to the stables and check on Winter," I tell Sansa as I pull on my hood and move toward the door.
"Will I see you at the feast?" She asks hopefully.
"Sadly I don't think so," I tell her with a sad smile. Her smile fades a bit and she nods.
"But I'll come by later tonight, and you can tell me all about Prince Joffery," I tell her with a playful wink, making her giggle and grin as I leave.
I quickly walk over to the stables, feeling paranoid as I did so. It felt like someone was watching my every move, tracking me almost. I walked into the stables with my head down, trying to force myself to relax.
"What are you doing here?!"
I quickly look up and see the older boys getting groomed by one of the guards. All three of them were shirtless, bits and chunks of their hair littering the stable grounds. Theon was currently sitting on the stool getting shaved, while Jon and Robb just stared at me curiously. I had to will myself to not let my eyes wander down, to their chests.
"I-I...I was looking for Winter" I say nervously gesturing to the two wolves playing with one another on the stable grounds, Grey Wind only watched them, uninterested.
"Doesn't explain why you're lurking about, in a dress and ratty hood no less?" Robb said crossing his arms in front of him.
"Why does it matter that I'm wearing a dress?" I ask, crossing my own arms in front of me, trying to redirect the conversation.
"You never wear dresses, not even for your own name day, I can't remember the last time I've seen you in one" Robb says with a smirk, thinking he caught me.
"Well, the King of the Seven Kingdoms is coming today in case you haven't noticed. I'm sure that's why you lot are getting all gussied up too" I argue.
"You're right, but still it's strange" Robb admits, uncrossing his arms and walking over to a wash basin by the door.
"I kinda like you in a dress," Theon tells me giving me a wink, making me roll my eyes. Once Theon is finished getting shaved he walks towards the basin as Robb is pulling on his shirt. Jon takes a seat on the stool next.
"Well, I think you look nice," Jon tells me with a warm smile. I can't help but smile at the simple compliment, a blush rising to my cheeks.
"Thanks, I'm sure you will too," I tell him awkwardly, walking over to Winter and Ghost and crouching down beside them, both of them nuzzling against me.
"We'll see you later Jon" Robb calls, practically dragging Theon out of the stables. The man finishes grooming Jon and gets up and leaves without a word. I quickly glance up from under my hood and look at Jon. He was muscular, handsome, turning into a man right before my eyes.
"Why are you staring at me?" Jon says, glancing down at me with a sheepish smile, making me blush.
"I'm not staring" I mumble, looking back down at the wolves, moving my hands over their soft fur. I hear him move over to the basin, the splashing of watering filling the silence of the stables.
"How are you doing?" Jon asks, making me look up, seeing him now fully clothed and walking to the stool to take a seat by me.
"Aside from shaking with nerves, I'm okay" I mumble, my voice sounding shaky and unsure.
"You'll be alright," he says trying to give me a reassuring smile, but I could tell he was nervous too. We stay like that, just looking at one another for comfort before he breaks the silence.
"Oh! I almost forgot, I uh, had something made for you" He mumbles, a blush rising to his cheeks as he pulls something out of his pocket. I watch as he holds up a necklace, with a steel wolf pendant hanging from the bottom. It was simple and yet it was beautiful, the wolf of Winterfell.
"It's beautiful," I say with a smile as he stands up and walks over to me. I stand up in front of him and pull down my hood, turning my back to face him. I feel him gently place the wolf around my neck and clasp it in the back as I pull my hair away from the back of my neck. Once he's finished I turn to face him with a smile.
"Thank you, Jon," I tell him earnestly, wrapping my hand around the cool metal.
"I wanted you to have something to remind you of this place, just in case" he explains, both of us looking down at the small metal wolf.
"That's very kind of you" I mumble, looking up to meet his eyes, seeing him do the same. I muster up my courage and slowly lean towards him, I see him do the same before I close my eyes, our lips meeting a moment later. My hands move slowly up and around his neck, his hands snaking down and moving around my waist, holding me tightly against him.
Suddenly a trumpet sounds, signaling the arrival of the royal family. We break away as it starts up again.
"That's my cue" I whisper with a smile, our lips only centimeters away. I could feel his warm breath on my face and wished I didn't have to leave his side.
He smiles as well, slowly releasing me from his comforting hold.
"Will I see you tonight?" He asks as my arms leave his neck.
"Of course, you promised me food from the feast" I smile. The trumpet blares once more. Jon quickly leans down and gives me a quick kiss.
"Be safe" He whispers as I pull up my hood and turn to the wolves, signaling them to get up.
"I always am," I say with a smile and quickly hurry out the back of the stables, the wolves trotting right behind me as I escape into the woods until nightfall.
Just outside the gates of Winterfell, I spot Arya with a practice sword in hand, swinging away at a tree.
"What are you doing out here?! The royal family will be here within the hour" I call walking over to Arya and her wolf Nymeria who sits on the side, watching curiously.
"I was just practicing" Arya grumbles, continuing to fight the tree.
"Well if you're going to practice you might as well have a proper opponent" I mumble walking over to the side and grabbing the other sparring sword, left here by one of the boys no doubt.
"You can sword fight?" Arya asks, confusion all over her face.
"Every girl should know how to wield a sword," I tell him, testing the weight in my hands and doing a few practice swings. Finally, I turn to face her.
"Sword at the ready," I tell her, getting into my fighting stance, she looks at me and does a somewhat poor imitation of my stance. Then we begin. It's a quick fight, I knock her off balance almost instantly. I try to teach her about keeping a firm stance so as not to lose your balance, but she was more interested in how to swing the sword.
We stayed at it for 30 or 40 minutes, me trying to teach her about balance and agility and her continuing to swing the sword like an ax. We were interrupted when the trumpets sounded once more.
"I better be off" I mumble, tossing the sword away and readjusting my hood, whistling to the wolves who were laying in the shade of the tree. They got up slowly and stretched before trotting over to me and Arya, Nymeria already at her side, Ghost and Winter moving to my side.
"Wait! Will you teach me more?" Arya calls as I begin walking away.
"I will, but later. Now go! You're already late!" I shout to her as I quickly run into the woods, Ghost, and Winter running by my side. I run deep into the Wolfswood until I feel safe until I feel alone.
The wolves and I wander around the Wolfswood, they go off and hunt from time to time, while I lean against a tree and try to sleep the day away.
I was back, standing in a circle of burnt grass, surrounded by snow. But there was only Jon, no Starks or other people I didn't recognize, just him. I looked down, seeing I was dressed differently than last time. I was wearing a heavy, thick, long-sleeved white dress lined with fur, the white fur cape Sansa made for me draped across my shoulders, my white hair pulled back into a single, long braid. My wolf pendant hung from my neck and my feet were covered in knee-high white boots.
How did I not fade into the snow before his very eyes?
"You look beautiful" He calls to me, dressed the same as before. He wore his black feathered cloak, armor, his hair a bit longer and his stubble a bit fuller. The wolves were nowhere to be seen, it was just us.
"I still don't understand" I admit to him as he walks closer.
"I know, I was a bit confused myself. But you'll understand, in time" he explains, stopping two feet away from my circle of burnt grass.
"Are you real?" I ask hesitantly, making him laugh.
"Yes, I'm real," He tells me with a smile, looking at me with love clearly written in his eyes.
"But...are...are you my Jon?" I ask nervously, not completely sure what this was.
"I am, always," He tells me, giving me a sad, longing smile.
"But...but you can't be...my Jon is only 17...you must be in your 20's" I mumble, looking him over.
"I'm still your Jon, I'm still the man who gave you that," He tells me, pointing to the wolf on my neck.
"But...how?" I ask, still confused on how this could be possible.
"We're bonded, you and I. By fate or the gods, I don't know, but we are. I am yours and you are mine" he tells me, stepping closer to me. I smile, moving my gaze to the ground.
"You've grown bold" I mumble, slowly looking back up to meet his eyes.
"I have, time does that to you" he admits.
"You at least seem healthy...and safe I hope," I tell him, trying to move closer, but I was still trapped.
"Same goes for you, you look like a princess," He says looking me over.
"Strange isn't it...last time I was dressed as a Targaryen princess, now I look like the princess of Winterfell" I mumble with a laugh.
"A Queen you mean," He tells me with a sad look, making me all the more confused.
"A Queen? Me? You must be mistaken" I laugh trying to ease the pained look on his face. But his expression remains dark.
"Believe me, I wish I were," He says quietly.
"I still don't understand what it is you're saying," I say trying to get an answer out of him.
"You will" He whispers and begins to turn away.
"Wait...where are you going?!" I call as he begins to walk away.
"Back" He answers and continues to walk.
"Back where?!" I call, but he doesn't answer, he only continues to walk away. Suddenly everything starts to fade, I try to focus on him but he soon fades away too. Everything is gone.
I jump when I wake up, panting, my heart racing from the strange dream. How could that be my Jon? How could he not just be a fiction from my dreams? Maybe I was going mad like my father had. The Mad King they called him, maybe I was turning into his mad daughter.
Eventually, I got myself up from the base of the tree and stretched my legs, wiping the sleep away from my eyes. I looked up at the sky, taking a deep breath as I look at the orange hues from the clouds from the setting sun.
"It's probably time for the feast" I mumble to myself, looking around for the wolves, but they are nowhere in sight.
"Winter? Ghost?!" I call, picking up my grey dress skirts as I spin around, peering into the darkened woods for the white wolves. There was no reply. That's when I smelled it, the roasting meats and sweet cakes. They had probably already made their way towards the feast. My stomach growls as the smell continues to waft through the air.
"Alright Jon, you better have gotten me food" I grumble as I begin my trek back to Winterfell. I am extra careful of my hood, making sure it covers my hair in entirety and as I get closer, that my eyes remain down. White hair can be explained as kissed by snow, but purple eyes, that's a definitive mark of the Targaryens.
"Well if it isn't the princess of Winterfell"
I feel my breath catch in my throat at that phrase and his voice. So much like the voice from my dreams, I thought I was still in one.
"Why aren't you at the feast?" I ask as I walk over to him, seeing the wolves playing with one another at his side.
"I promised someone I'd bring them supper," he tells me with a smile, pulling out a small plate of food from behind his back. I break out into a smile as I take the warm plate into my hands, my stomach growling from the foods close proximity.
"Thank you," I tell him as I take the food and sit on the bench outside of the great hall. He takes a seat next to me.
"So how is it in there?" I ask as I begin to eat.
"Oh you know, a bunch of drunk knights trying to prove themselves and the King is no better" Jon explains, telling me all about the fat drunk king of Westeros.
We spend most of the evening on that bench, laughing and talking as we watch the wolves play with one another. Somewhere towards the end, we end up close to one another. His lips dance with mine. I could taste the sweet wine on his lips and swore I could feel myself getting drunk off of it. Who knows how long we stayed like that, arms wrapped around each other as our lips explored one another's.
I felt my hood fall as Jon wrapped his fingers in my hair, tugging on it gently as my arms wrap around his neck, my hands moving to his curly, raven black hair. Each of us desperate to pull the other closer.
"I hope I'm not interrupting"
Jon and I instantly jump away from one another, both of us flushed and panting as we turn and look upon Tyrion Lannister with a cup in his hand, giving us a knowing smile. We stay frozen, neither one of us quite sure what to say. But the wolves immediately stop their playing and move towards us protectively. Each of them snarls and Ghost lunges forward, knocking Tyrion to his back as Ghost stood over him.
"Ghost! That's enough" Jon calls, causing Ghost to slowly back away from Tyrion and move back towards us, standing in front of us and Winter in a protective manner.
"That...that was actually rather terrifying. I think I might have pissed myself" Tyrion mumbles as he gets himself back to his feet. The poor dwarfed man leans down to retrieve his spilled cup.
"Sorry M'lord, they can be a bit protective at times," I say apologetically, frantically trying to pull myself together.
"That's quite alright child, although I wish they hadn't spilled my wine" he mumbles looking at his empty cup longingly.
"You, Ned Stark's Bastard, would you be so kind as to get me some more wine? I would ask the lady here but something tells me she doesn't want to be seen" Tyrion says eyeing me curiously. Its then I realize that my hair is exposed, and he is looking at my eyes with fascination.
I quickly pull up my hood as I feel Jon turn and look at me. I give him a reassuring nod as he leaves for the wine. Once Jon is gone Tyrion approaches me.
"You must try to be more careful if the wrong person saw you it would mean your life," he tells me with a concerned tone.
"Are you implying that you are not the wrong person M'lord?" I asked crossing my arms over myself, trying to shield myself from the cold.
"No, fortunately. But were it my sister or the King, I'm afraid I could not say the same" He explains. I remain silent.
"He seems nice, he must be very much in love with you," Tyrion says trying to keep up the conversation.
"I'm not quite sure, to be honest" I admit, for some reason trusting the man.
"He seems a bit pricklish about his title, he should wear it like a badge of honor. Always remember what you are, because the rest of the world will never let you forget" He proceeds to explain to me.
"That's a very wise sentiment, but I'm afraid the same could not be applied to me," I tell him with a sad smile.
"Ah yes, well at least you'll have him," He tells him with a smile as we watch Jon walk out of the building with two cups of wine in hand. He walks over and hands one to both me and Tyrion.
"Ah! thank you" He says taking an eager sip from the cup. I whisper my thanks and do the same, hoping it would help warm me up somehow.
"Right, well I best leave you two alone," He says before wandering off towards the feast.
"He's a strange little man, but kind" I mumble before I swallow the rest of the sweet wine.
"Is he going to say anything?" Jon asks me, looking at me concerned.
"I don't think he will, but we should probably go," I say grabbing his hand in mine and leading him to Winterfell castle.
"Where are we going?" he asks as we walk, the wolves choosing to remain outside.
"To your chambers, I'm freezing" I admit as I tug him inside, through the lower corridors until we reach his chambers. I quickly open the door, pulling Jon inside with me. He shuts the door behind him and I immediately connected my lips to his, pinning him against the wooden door.
He seems shocked at my sudden actions, but he snaps out of it and starts moving his lips against mine. His hands instantly move to the back of my hand, pushing the hood down and gently tugging on my white hair. My hands move up to his chest, pulling on his shirt, wanting it off.
Our lips separate for just a moment as he starts to pull off his shirt.
"What are we doing?" He asks in a quick pant, my lips meeting his once again. I didn't want to be away from him, I needed him closer, I needed him to ignite the fire within me once more. I broke away to unbutton my brown hooded cape, Jon only moving after me as I stepped backward. I could see the lust in his eyes and I'm sure my eyes mirrored his.
"Make love to me Jon Snow" I whispered once my cape hit the floor. Jon took a step forward and cupped my cheeks in his hands, pulling my lips back up to meet his. I couldn't help but smile during the kiss, at the feeling of his soft lips on mine. I placed my hands on his bare chest, moving them down, feeling his toned stomach under my fingers.
Our kiss broke once more as he started untying the front of my dress. We both looked down as he untied my laces, causing the dress to pool at my feet, revealing my under things. I watch as his hungry gaze traveled over my body.
"You are absolutely gorgeous" He whispers as he takes in my appearance, making me blush and shiver under his penetrating gaze. Our lips lock once more, I feel him bend down, his hands cupping my ass and lifting me up. My arms and legs instantly wrap around him as he carries me over to the bed. He sits down on the edge and allows me to sit on his lap, facing him, keeping our lips connected. I quickly pull off my top and resume the kiss. I shiver as I feel his cold hands wander over my chest.
I moan as I feel him grab my breasts, his cold hands wander over my body and I get lost in the feeling.
"Please Jon" I beg as his lips move from my lips to my neck. I moan as his lips replace his hands on my breasts. He was my drug, he was mine. He pulls away from my chest and looks up at me as my hands wander through his hair, pulling at it lightly, making his eyes close in pleasure.
"Are you sure about this?" he asks softly, opening his eyes to look at me.
"I've never been more sure about anything in my life" I whisper back, looking at him longingly. But I couldn't stop my shivers. I was so cold, I needed to get warm.
"You're freezing" he whispers, holding my shivering body, trying to bring me closer to him.
"Then maybe you should warm me up" I tease moving my lips back to his. We continue to kiss but we stop as my lips start to shake from the shivering. My body soon grows cold, numb. I can't feel anything.
"J-Jon..." I mumble before I feel myself fall, my eyes rolling to the back of my head. There was nothing. I was nothing.