The gaping hole that was in my chest where my heart should be, grew a little smaller by being with my sister. She was just such a comforting presence. Young and sweet and so full of life, still ignorant of what the world truly was life. She told me about her life, how her and our late brother traveled from place to place out running assassins, her marriage, being the Khaleesi, ruling her own Khalasar, her stillborn child, her entire life story she told me. Even though I knew and understood the troubles she endured, and despite her being older than me, she had no idea what the real world was like.
Yes, I had lost a child as she did. But she didn't truly understand love or survival. I don't doubt she was in love with Khal Drogo, or that her life was hard, but I knew what it was like to have to lie, I was playing the game and I was playing it well. My heart was hardened from my life experiences, while hers was still full of life. I had nothing, while she had so much in store for her. She didn't know what life truly was, and I prayed she never found out.
The world was hard and cruel and killed anything that loved, anything that was weak or full of feeling.
I only told her a few things here and there. She mainly wanted to know what the land was like, what her homeland was like, so I told her. But I didn't mention his name or our child, or Robb, or any of the times that shaped me. I told her only the bare necessities. How I came to be here, and how I got my dragon Visenya.
Years had passed from when we first met, almost four years. Over time I told her more about myself after she confronted me about it that is.
"Let me be your sister in more than just name and blood," she told me. So that night I poured out my heart to her, and it was the first time I truly felt that I had a sister. After that, we fought together side by side. She taught me Dothraki and Valyrian, and I taught her how to handle a blade.
She gained titles like the unburnt, breaker of chains, mother of dragons. While I got the queen of dragons, the unburnt, holder of the dragon's flame. As time passed, my flares in temper that made any nearby fires roar, grew into more. I could make flames appear in my palms, and make my skin burning hot to the touch. The dragon's flame was in my skin, not just my heart. This caused me to take a disliking to shoes, as they would burn and make me feel as if the heat was trapped inside me. But this newfound ability made the dragons listen to me, obey my commands, treat me as their queen. Hence the title.
Currently, we were ruling in Meereen, along with Missandei, the unsullied, Myra, Monell and Tyrion Lannister. Seeing him again brought me back to that time in Winterfell, to Jon and Robb and the girls. But when he told me what had happened after the time of my escape, my heart broke all over again. Robb and Cat were dead. Ayra was missing along with Bran and Rickon. And Sansa, my dear Sansa who I spoke cruel words to when last we spoke...was married to Tyrion, abused by Joffery and now was a fugitive of the crown.
Tyrion had very little to tell me of Jon. Only that when last they spoke he asked Tyrion to look out for me, make sure I was safe. No doubt he had heard of my alleged death. Would he have been reckless like I was? No, Jon was never reckless.
"Princess?"
I turned around from overlooking the city from my balcony, seeing Monell in the doorway. He smiled at me and walked over as I turned to look back out over the city. He snaked his arms around my waist from behind and placed a delicate kiss on my shoulder.
"It's almost time for the fights" he mumbles, moving to place a kiss on my neck. We had become lovers, something I couldn't help but regret from time to time. I was still playing the game in my head, about what Jon would do and say, and Monell would win for the most part. So whenever we slept together, it was Jon's face, not his that I saw.
"We can't do this for much longer, I am betrothed after all" I mumbled, leaning into his touch.
"You should have let your sister make the alliance as she intended" he whispers against my skin.
"She is a Queen, I am the Princess, it's my duty to help her with alliances. This way she can take the throne without a man ruling beside her" I explain, turning around in his arms to face him.
"So does that make me your mistress then?" he asks with a smile. I smile back and cup his right left cheek with my palm, being sure I wouldn't burn him.
"Once I am married we cannot keep seeing each other, you know this"
"I know it, I just don't accept it," he says, leaning down to kiss my lips. I allow him one quick peck before I break out of his grasp and move toward the doorway. My scarlet silk skirts billowing behind me as I move.
"Come, we mustn't keep my future husband waiting" I call to him in a teasing manner. I hear him jogging towards me as I make my way down the hall, towards my sister's room. I knock and then simply walk into her room. When I walk in I see her seated at the vanity, with Winter laying by her feet. Winter has grown very fond of Dany over the years.
"Why you seem awfully happy this morning," Dany says with a smile, turning in her seat to look at me.
"And why shouldn't I be happy? I am a princess, Queen of Dragons, and I am betrothed to a man who will add great value to your reign" I reply, taking a seat on the side of her bed. I watch her open a drawer in her vanity and pull out a broch.
"I was going to give this to you on your wedding night, but now seems much more appropriate," she says with a smile, walking over to me and taking my hand, putting the broch in my palm. I pick it up between my palms, seeing the three dragon heads of the house Targaryen.
"Is this yours? The one you've been wearing for years?" I ask, turning it over in my fingers.
"Well no, it's not. I had a replica made. I thought it would be nice for me to be represented too, along with your wolf necklace and ring that is" she says, pointing to my necklace with a teasing smile. My hand instantly moves to my neck to touch the metal. A gift from Jon, to remind me of home...of a life I could never go back to. Most days it felt like a curse, but other days it was one of the best reminders I could hope for. Sometimes I close my eyes and I can picture Jon putting it around my neck in the stables. But I tried not to think of that too much.
"Thank you Dany, I love it," I say with a smile, pinning it the right shoulder strap of my red silk dress. I stand up and embrace my sister in a hug, turning for the dog with Winter by my side.
"You know you don't have to do this right? You don't have to marry that man, not for my sake" she calls, making me turn around to face her.
"Why wouldn't I? I am your sister Dany, you are my blood, I would die for you as I'm sure you would for me. Marrying a man to secure an alliance for your benefit is the least I can do for you" I tell her with a soft smile.
"But there is a man that you love who is out there, who loves you. What kind of sister would I be to ask you to leave him?" she continues, following me and Winter out of her chambers.
"We've spoken about this before, he thinks I'm dead...he's joined the Night's Watch...I can't be anything to him, not anymore. Besides, you and the throne are my priority now" I tell her, as we continue the hall, Monell, Myra, Missandei, and Tyrion joining us along the way to the arena. Greyworm and some of the other unsullied were already at the arena, waiting for us, along with my future husband Hizdahr.
"Myra?" I asked as we approached the arena entrance.
"Yes, your Highness?" she asks, moving to my left side.
"Do you have my blade with you by chance?"
"Always your Highness"
"I'd like it if you don't mind," I ask, as we stop outside of the entrance of the arena, waiting for Dany and me to be announced. She undoes the belt for the sheath and hands me my sword, black sister.
"Do you really think it's wise to meet your future husband in an arena with a sword tied around your waist?" Tyrion asks as I tightened the belt.
"I am not going to take any chances with the Harpys around" I reply, Winter, snaking herself between me and Tyrion.
"Yes, I understand your concern but we have guards and people to handle that, you are a princess, you must behave as such" he argues as the gates open and we enter behind my sister.
"I am the warrior princess, I have lead armies and our dragons into battle, and I will rule as such if and when the time comes" I answer as I make my way to my seat next to Hizdahr. He rises to his feet and bows to my sister and I as she moves to her seat in front of us.
"Princess" he greets, taking my right hand in his and raising it to his lips, leaving a gentle kiss on the top of my hand. I give a smile and nod in return as we take our seats and wait for the fights to begin. Winter takes a seat at my feet while Monell and Myra stand guard behind me.
"What are they waiting for?" I ask, leaning over to whisper in my betrothed's ear.
"My Queen, you need to clap to signal the start of the fights" he instructs, leaning forward to tell Dany. I could feel the discomfort coming off of her. She never wanted to allow these battles to take place, they were slave fights. But we needed to win over the people so reluctantly she agreed to them.
Slowly, she raised her hands up and gave one single, deafening clap. The crowd immediately started shouting and cheering as the first round of fighters walked into the arena. They stood before us and gave a low bow before they began to fight. I leaned over to Tyrion and whispered in his ear.
"5 pieces on the scrawny man with the missing eye"
"Alright, but gambling isn't very princesslike" he whispered back as I leaned back in my seat, reaching down to stroke Winter between the ears. The fights were an interesting thing to watch, to me at least, Dany was trying her best not to wrinkle her nose. Yes, my sister was fierce, but she was not one for this type of killing, of it being so personal. In the end, my choice won and I could hear Tyrion inwardly curse.
A few more rounds were had, Tyrion and I whispering and discussing the strategies of each man. That is until Jorah Mormont stands before us with a determined look and weapon in hand. I could hear Dany's gasp in surprise and see her grip the armrest of her chair. They say nothing but the tension in the air is evident.
"Dany, clap your hands, you can't do this here, not now" I whisper leaning forward in my seat. She says nothing but she holds up her hands and claps all the same. We all watch in silence as Jorah begins to fight the others. There are times where it looks like he may be killed or critically injured, but he manages to dodge and deflect until he is the last one standing on the field. The crowd is cheering, but Dany remains silent. Jorah steps forward and kneels in front of us. But before Dany can say anything, Winter begins to growl. Jorah quickly rises to his feet and hurls a spear towards us, towards me specifically. I move out of the way and look behind me, seeing a dead Harpy on the ground behind me. Monell and Myra look at me in shock, I turn to Hizdahr but see his throat has been slit. I quickly rise to my feet as the Unsullied begin to defend us on our way out of the arena. Monell takes hold of my arm while swinging his sword with his right arm.
We are unable to make it out of the gate and are instead herded to the grounds of the arena. I am roughly shoved forward by Monell and Myra to the inside of the circle made by the Unsullied. I stand between Dany and Missandei and pull out my sword, prepared to face my death with a fight. Winter stands loyally by my legs, growling and snarling her teeth, prepared to leap on anyone that gets too close. The blood dripping down her chin proves it. The hundreds of Harpys surround us, blades drawn and ready to kill. We all stand, ready to face our deaths when roaring is heard. Everyone freezes and looks to the sky.
Overhead Drogon and Visenya come flying in. Each dragon opens their mouth and unleashes flames on the Harpys, being careful not to injure any of the Unsullied. They both land on opposite sides of the arena and start using their teeth and claws to deal with the Harpys. Dany moves towards Drogon while I stay in the middle with Missandei.
"What are you doing?!" I shout to her over the clashing of swords.
"Take care of the people!" She calls, as we watch her climb onto Drogon's back. He gets ready to take flight when she shouts a few last words to me.
"I love you Rhaea! Trust your gut!"
And with those last few words, Dany and Drogon take to the skies and vanish from sight. Visenya easily deals with the other Harpys and once it is clear we are safe from harm, I make my way towards her. Winter stays with Missandei as I move to stand in front of Visenya. Before I even extend my hand fully, Visenya moves her head forward into my touch. She still tried to snuggle against me, despite how large she had gotten. She was as big as Drogon, if not bigger. I gently rubbed my hand against her snout, as she laid her head down next to me, her silver scales glittering in the sun.
"Such a brave thing you are" I whispered to her in Valyrian. She made a noise in her throat and closed her eyes for a moment. It was just me and her, she was the only thing that mattered, for a moment at least. The moment broke when Monell called for me.
"Princess! We need to get you back to the palace!" he shouts, moving towards me which makes Visenya growl lowly in her throat. I hold my hand up to him, signaling him to stop. Visenya has never really liked Monell, she's never liked anyone, it seems like she only tolerates Dany.
"Fly to the gardens, I'll meet you there" I instruct her as I turn to leave. I quickly glance behind me and see her take off to the sky, disappearing from view. But I knew she would obey, she always would.
I move quickly towards Monell, the ground a bit harsh on my bare feet, but my feet have been toughened by years of not wearing shoes. I keep black sister in my left hand, prepared to fight any lingering Harpys as I'm escorted to the palace with the others. Winter quickly trots over to me and says by my side right side as Monell is on my left. Myra stays in front of me along with Greyworm, while Missandei and Tyrion are behind me.
We make it back to the palace with no trouble and we immediately meet in the planning room. I move to the head of the table, where Dany normally resides. I rest my hands on the table and look around the room. Everyone was waiting for me to speak, for me to give my commands.
"What should we do princess?" Tyrion asks as I move my silver white hair over my right shoulder.
"We continue on, at least for now. She could be back tomorrow or in a week. For now, we wait and if anyone asks we tell them she is conducting trade business" I say, starting to braid my hair.
"No that is absurd, they could be traveling miles as we speak, we need to go after her" Daario says, slamming his hands on the table.
"And we will, in a weeks time" I reply calmly.
"Daario is right, we should be going after her" Jorah says.
"I am your Queen while my sister is away. I know of both of your feelings for her but you listen to me now. And I am commanding you to wait, have I made myself clear?" I ask, my voice turning stern. It was my commander's voice, the voice I led armies with. The room went silent.
"You heard your Queen, we will wait," Tyrion says, looking at them sternly.
"As you wish my Queen," Jorah says with a respectful bow.
"You are all dismissed, Tyrion may I have a word?" I ask as I finish braiding my hair. He crosses his arms behind his back as I take a seat in my sister's chair.
"I need your help" I admit.
"With what my Queen?" he asks, walking over towards me.
"With this, with being Queen. I am not fit to rule. I may not be quite as stubborn as my sister but I have none of her skills. I am the warrior princess, but I cannot handle a city as I would handle a battle, which is where I'd like your help" I explain with a heavy sigh. My sister was always better with people. My first instinct is to draw my blade, not my words.
"Ah, well in that aspect you are one step ahead of your sister. One of the first things about being a leader is knowing you can't do it alone. I will be happy to help in whatever ways I can" he says with a smile.
"Thank you, Tyrion, I really appreciate it" I reply with a smile as he bows, moving towards the door. I hear him open the door but I don't hear it close.
"There is a very sad guard in the hallway, no doubt pouting over you, shall I send him in?" Tyrion calls, peaking his head back into the doorway. I laugh.
"Yes, send him in" I answer and Monell comes striding into the room.
"Thank god you are alright" he huffs, making his way towards me. He bends down and immediately places a kiss on my lips.
"Yes, I'm fine, as you no doubt saw not very long ago in the meeting," I tell him with a smile. He holds out his hands and helps me to my feet, engulfing me into a bone-crushing hug.
"I should have been paying more attention. That Harpy snuck right past me and almost slit your throat" he mumbles into my neck.
"But he didn't," I say, pulling away from the hug to look him in the eyes. I cup his cheeks with my hands and he places his hands on top of mine.
"I am glad you are safe" he whispers, looking deeply into my eyes. I only smile as he stares at me, but his gaze turns into one of passion and his lips attack mine with a firey intent. His hands moved to my waist and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he turned me around and placed me on the table.
The kiss was intense, it felt like I was being devoured by him. He tilted me back a little and started placing hungry kisses on my neck, his left hand slowly moving up my dress skirts and in between my legs. I closed my eyes and let myself be enwrapped in the passion, all the while wishing it was Jon, the ghost in my head.
After our time together in the meeting room, I slowly made my way to the gardens, Winter tagging along at my heels. It was getting late, sunset to be exact, but Visenya was waiting for me in the large clearing. She was laying down, with her head on the grass and her eyes roaming about the grounds. She picked her head up when I approached her.
"Hello, my love," I said with a smile, bringing heat into my hand as I place it upon her snout. She moves into my touch and pushes me with her nose towards his left side. So I moved and sat down by her upper left leg and let her curl herself around me and lay her giant head by my feet. I couldn't pet her whole head anymore, but I did run my hand across her scales by her ear. She closed her eyes and seemed to almost purr at the sensation. I may have been the Queen of Dragons, but I was her mother.
I stayed with her most of the evening, with Winter laying on my left. When I got up to go to bed Visenya seemed to almost sigh from sadness, as she simply lifted and moved her head for me and Winter to move. I knew she would stay here tonight, she wanted to protect me, especially after seeing the dangers I faced today.
"Goodnight, Visenya," I told her with a final brush of my hand as Winter and I took off to go back inside the palace. When I entered my chambers, Monell was sitting on my lounger waiting for me.
"I hoped you would allow me to spend the night with you," he said, rising to his feet.
"I hoped you would come," I say, moving to stand in front of him, allowing his lips to dance with mine.
Jon led the surviving Wildings back to Castle Black to get them set up with homes and land to live on. After seeing the white walker's army Jon was shaken, to say the least. How could he lead the men of the Nights Watch against something like that? If only she were here. Gods could he ever let her go? He's known of her death for years now...she's been dead for years and yet he could never stop thinking about how things would be different if only she was still alive. He still had her scroll, with her last words on them. He liked to read it sometimes when he was feeling alone and unsure of himself. Which he seemed to be a lot these days.
So once he got himself settled back into his quarters, he grabbed the scroll from his inner breast pocket. He took a seat on his bed as he unraveled it with a heavy sigh. The ends of the paper were worn from being handled so much, from being folded and refolded, and the ends being fiddled with as he read. He didn't need to read it anymore to know what the scroll said, he had it memorized by now, and it wasn't her handwriting anyways, but he liked the idea that she might have held this and read it over for approval beforehand.
Jon, oh my love, how I wish I could tell you all these things in person. How I prayed we might see each other once more before my passing. But sadly this is the best we can do. I have gone into labor, but I fear I won't survive the pain. So, if this is the last thing I ever say to you...I pray you would heed these words. Survive, survive knowing I will be with you every step of the way, we both will. Know that I love you, and I will continue to love you as our love is too great for even death to break. I believe you are capable of many things Jon, so trust yourself and your instincts, just as I have trusted them. Until we meet again, in this life or the next.
~R
"Until we meet again" he whispered to the paper. He thought they would meet during the battle of Hardhome. He was fully prepared to die that day, even if it was a selfish thought, but he so badly wanted to see her again, and not just in dreams that were few and far between. But those dreams were of a younger version of her, not the woman she would be now.
"Lord Commander?" Olly asked, slowly opening his door.
"Is there something you need Olly?" Jon asked his young steward, quickly tucking his note away into his breast pocket.
"Only to ask if you'd like something to eat?" the boy replies with a bit of nervousness in his voice.
"Thank you, Olly, I would appreciate a bit of ale right about now," he tells the boy with a smile. Olly gives him a respectful nod and exits his room, closing the door behind him. It wasn't until he looked down that he noticed he was fiddling with the ring on his finger. Even after hearing of her death, he couldn't bear to take it off or move it to a different finger. Sam was the only one that knew of the rings real significance anyhow, and he wasn't here. Sam was constantly on him about trying to leave the past in the past, as it had been 4 years since her passing. But Jon wasn't ready for that, which Sam learned the hard way when he tried to steal Jon's ring away in the dead of night. Jon almost cut off his hand during that little incident.
No, Jon would forget if that was what the Gods wanted. Until then, Jon would pine away at her scroll and the ring she gifted him. A ring that marked him as hers, and would until the end of time.
This wasn't like my normal dreams. Even my physic dreams with younger Jon were not like this. I was in the north, that I was certain of. I took me a while to take in my surroundings. It was dark, with torches sparsely lighting up what looked like to be a small village of sorts. I was on a raised platform outside of a few buildings, and what appeared to be a sleeping quarter. I made a move to walk down when a door opened in front of him.
"Is he alright, Olly? How did he look?" the man asked hastily, making his way across the platform and down the stairs. I felt my heart leap in my chest at the sight of him. Could it really be him? This wasn't dream Jon, who was younger than he should have been now. No, this was my Jon. He looked so much older than that boy I left behind. His features were hardened over the years, which didn't surprise me. I'm sure I'd look the same to him as well.
"Jon?" I asked, moving to follow him, but he didn't hear me. He only continued to follow the boy.
"Jon! Jon, it's me! I'm alive! Turn around!" I shouted as I chased him down the steps. But on the last, he faltered.
"Jon?" I asked, stepping forward to touch his cheek as he turned towards me. I tried to touch him but my hand just passed right through his face. I was a ghost to him. But he did seem to shiver at my touch. He looked a moment longer before the boy called him from my trance. He turned around and continued on, to what looked like the stables. I quickly followed, desperate to try and make him see me.
It was when he stopped in his tracks, and paused for a long moment, staring at something on the ground that I dared to turn my eyes away from him. There on the ground was a marker on the ground with the word 'Traitor' written in what looked like blood. I turn back around to look at Jon and saw a small crowd of men start to surround him.
"Jon run! You have to run!" I shouted, but he couldn't hear me, no one could. I watched in slow motion as he turned around and faced the men. And was then stabbed by them, one by one. Each one chanting, "For the Watch" as the withdrew their blade.
I screamed, sobs in my throat as I watched him die. I collapsed to the ground as he did. Hovering my hand above his cheek, where there were tears.
"No...no no no" I sobbed, the life slowly leaving his body. A light started to surround me, pulling me away from him. But, before it did he turned towards me and gave me a half smile.
"I'll be with you soon" he whispered, reaching out to cup my cheek. I tried to lean into his touch but his hand only went through me.
"You can't die, Jon, you can't...how can I live without you in this world?" I cried. But he gave me a confused look before his hand dropped, his blood soaking into the snow...his life, his soul leaving his body. He was gone.
"NO!"
"NOOO!" I screamed, trying to move, but I was trapped.
"Rhaella!"
It was then I sat up, drenched in sweat with tears staining my cheeks. I held the sheet up to my bare chest and grasped my necklace until my knuckles turned white.
"Shh, it was only a dream, it was only a dream" Monell chants, sitting up beside me and trying to pull me to his naked chest, but I refused him, pushing him away.
"No! It wasn't! It was more than that" I panted, trying my best to make sense of what I just witnessed. I quickly stood up, taking the sheet with me and wrapping it around my bare body. The fire in my room flickered wildly from my nervous pacing.
"It wasn't a dream...but it was...it wasn't of the past...it must be a vision! Yes! I warning of what is to come!" I mumbled to myself.
"What was a vision? Just come back to bed and let's talk about this" Monell calls from his place in the bed. He was giving me a confused look. He had no idea what I was rambling on about. I've never told anyone about my dreams, not even Danearys.
"The gods are giving me a chance to change things! Don't you see?! Monell, I have to go fix this! I can save him!" I said, looking at him with a crazed smile. I walk over to my trunk and quickly pull on my riding clothes, they were custom made for riding Visenya. I pulled on the fingerless leather gloves and strapped my sword around my waist. I clipped on my broch and grabbed the white fur-lined coat from the bottom of my chest. The one Sansa had made for me all those years ago.
"What are you doing?" Monell asks, pulling on his pants and coming to walk over to me.
"I am leaving" I answer simply, adjusting my cloak on my shoulders, quickly exiting my room.
"Wait what?!" he shouts, chasing after me. I exit my room and see Winter sitting by the door. I whistle to her and she starts following me as I quickly jog to Tyrion's room. I bang on his door twice before I enter, seeing him slowly sit up in his bed.
"What's going on? Is it the Harpys?" he asks, wiping the sleep from his eyes.
"No, it isn't the Harpys. But I have to go, now. I am leaving you in charge of the people. I don't know when I will return but tell my sister I'm sorry and that I had to" I say quickly, my words coming out choppy. Before I can give him the chance to ask any questions I am speed walking out of his room and towards the palace gardens. Where Visenya was waiting.
"Wait, Princess, think about what you're doing!" Monell shouts as he walks next to me.
"I am, and I am leaving, you cannot change my mind," I tell him as we exit the palace and I make my way over to Visenya. She lifts her head as I move towards her. I lift Winter up to sit between her scales and begin to climb up myself.
"Then let me come with you!" Monell calls, grabbing my wrist to hold me back. I merely shake off his grip.
"No, this is something I have to do alone," I say, moving to climb onto Visenya but he grabs me again, holding me back.
"Why? You're being crazy, you were shouting in your sleep and now you're saying it was a vision? This doesn't make any sense"
"I don't need you to make sense of this. But it makes sense to me and that is all that matters" I say, shaking him off again and quickly climbing onto the back of Visenya.
"Where will you go?" Monell asks as Visenya rises to her feet.
"To Westeros! To Castle Black. I will send word when I arrive and when I am safe!" I shout down to him and Visenya gets ready to take off.
"Fly!" I shout, causing her to take off into the sky. The wind whipping my hair back as I keep a hand on Winter, making sure she wouldn't fall. I did my best to direct Visenya towards Westeros, towards the wall, but she was the one in control, not I.
As we flew through the night when the stars were out and all aglow, I whispered a quiet prayer to the old gods.
"Let me not be too late"