Miles to Go Before I Sleep

by ErgoMaria

Seven years ago Meetra Surik saved the Republic and lost a piece of herself. Six years ago Revan died and Meetra's soul died with him. Three years ago Revan was reborn. Meetra wasn't. Now Revan is missing and Meetra has been dragged back to life. But is she ready? Can Revan face a past he can't remember? (KOTOR AU - Meetra/Atton, MRevan/Carth) (Sequel to No Light without Shadows)

6. Chapter 05 - Dantooine

CHAPTER 05 - DANTOOINE

Now (3953)

At least some parts of Dantooine still matched Meetra's memories. The groves were mostly untouched by the bombardment and horned kath hounds prowled around the stubby blba trees just as they did throughout her childhood. If she closed her eyes she could recall the exact sensation of those trees' thorns rubbing against her palms as she shimmied up the wide trunks, racing to be the first to reach the top branches. As she walked on, lost in her memories, the rolling green hills gradually gave way to the steeper cliffs that bordered the plains. Numerous cave systems were carved into their rocky slopes, the darkened entryways offering relief from the late afternoon sun.

Those caverns were why she was here, instead of at Khoonda Outpost with Carth and Bastila. While she'd seen the new center of the local government when the Ebon Hawk touched down just outside of the former Matale estate, witnessing the blasted craters and destroyed fields that surrounded the building had been… overwhelming. She didn't know what was worse, the proof that her childhood home had been destroyed when she hadn't been present to defend it or the fact that Alek had been the one ordering the destruction.

No, not Alek. Malak.

Carth had been gentle, almost unbearably so, when he invited Meetra into the government compound to speak with Bastila and arrange a meeting with Vrook Lamar. But she had refused, giving him a terse smile even as her skin turned clammy and her heart hammered between her ribs. She wasn't ready to face this new version of Dantooine. Not yet.

Instead, Meetra had grabbed an old backpack from the Hawk's garage and slung it over her shoulder before beckoning for Visas and Bao-Dur to follow. "Force training lessons start today," she'd announced. "So, grab your gear and some rations, and come with me."

She knew that her companions had questions, but the Force made them naturally empathetic enough to recognize the distress that was radiating off of her in cold waves. So, they had done as requested and followed the former general as she led them away from the developed part of the planet. Though they occasionally exchanged confused glances as they hiked through the grassy fields, all of it surrounded by the miles of devastation left by the Sith, neither of them spoke. It was close to an hour into their journey when Visas dared to break the silence.

"I sense that this planet is strong with the Force. Atris mentioned Dantooine once or twice, though she did not deem it necessary to tell me any details." Picking at the sleeves of her robe, the Miraluka seemed uneasy without her concealed staff. "Tell me, Exile, are we to study the way the Force flows here?"

"You can if you want, though I'll be honest. I never knew how special this place was until I left for the first time."

"I don't know how well I'm sensing the Force here," Bao-Dur admitted with a weak chuckle. "But I do admire the landscape. The Ithorians back on Telos were trying to use flora from Dantooine to help terraform the restoration zone, though now I'm beginning to doubt the choice. It seems like this planet has a lot more water than Telos does. I've seen at least three streams in between here and Khoonda."

"That would make sense. Telos burned to ash when the Sith bombed it, but Dantooine… I think it fared better."

"Just because it did not burn does not mean the planet was not wounded." Visas gazed off into the distance, her sightless eyes staring past the horizon. "I have now been to both worlds and they each feel different. Dantooine still aches, and I do not think the damage will heal quickly."

"The land might be damaged, but there's still a lot of natural beauty here." Smiling, Bao-Dur jogged on ahead as he marveled at the nearby caves, his remote beeping cheerfully as it followed behind. "I've heard that the soil in the caverns has some interesting properties. Do you think anyone would mind if I took a few samples?"

"Go ahead. There's nobody left to mind."

Frowning, the Zabrak gave Meetra a worried glance. "General?"

"I apologize, Bao-Dur. It's just hard to be back here." Sighing, the former Jedi rubbed her hands across her face.

"I… I think I understand how you're feeling. I know it's not the same situation, but I spent years filled with anger. At first, I was furious at the Mandalorians for attacking my colony, but my rage quickly turned inward and I started to blame myself for not doing more to stop them. I never told you this, but I didn't join the Republic war effort because I wanted to help others. I did it because I wanted to hurt the people who destroyed my home. And in the end, I guess I did."

"I'm sorry that I dragged you into Revan's plan. The Mass Shadow Generator, it…"

"It worked," Bao-Dur finished with unusual coldness. "We succeeded."

Unspoken between them was the regret that came after, when they witnessed the ruins of Malachor and looked upon the destruction that their success had wrought. The weight of their actions sat heavy in the Force, icy waves of guilt crashing down around them.

Visas was now standing at the mouth of the cave, staring inside with a confused expression. "What dwells in this place? There's something within that pulses with power. The way the Force moves here… I've never seen anything like it."

"It's mostly kinrath in there," Meetra replied as she attempted to shake away the shadows of her past. "But also crystals. The type used to make lightsabers. From what Carth told me back on the Hawk, this is where Revan found the crystals he used in his most recent set of 'sabers. And now it's your turn to find some."

"A lightsaber? No, I'm not worthy of such an item…"

"And General, I'm no expert on lightsabers, but I'm pretty sure that we need a bit more training before we craft one."

"Traditionally, yes. But neither of you has a decent weapon right now and we don't exactly have training 'sabers on the ship. So, I'm being a little unorthodox and helping you to find your crystals as the first part of your training." Meetra chuckled dryly. "Like Atton said, it's just a rock."

"But Exile, I cannot possibly…"

"Of course you can." Gently guiding the Miraluka forward, Meetra gestured for Bao-Dur to follow. "Think of this as an exercise in letting the Force guide you. Once inside of the caves, you'll have to navigate your way to the crystal formations without becoming kinrath food."

"Huh, do you think that the kinrath might be the reason that the soil here is so unique?"

"I have no idea. But if you find one, you can always ask her."

The initial pathway through the tunnels seemed larger than it was in Meetra's memories. Or maybe she was just a little too full of teenage bravado the last time she delved into these caverns. Despite her young age, the green crystal she collected had been strong and it served her well throughout the war.

Visas stuck close as they traversed the winding tunnels, Bao-Dur jogging ahead as he examined the numerous rock formations and animal nests with varying amounts of fascination. While he didn't know much about the local fauna he seemed pleased just to spot evidence of its survival, asking his remote to take scans and log the data. The trio walked on for a while, much longer than Meetra remembered, the tunnels gradually growing narrower as the floor dipped and the temperature dropped.

"It feels like we're getting deeper underground," Bao-Dur noted.

Shivering, Visas paused mid-stride. "The coldness is not just from our environment. There's danger lurking ahead."

"Then stay alert." Drawing her confiscated Sith lightsaber, Meetra frowned at the poor balance of the weapon. While Bao-Dur was helping her to design a new hilt, it was only half-finished.

"Are you sure it's danger? All I sense are some…" The rest of the Zabrak's words died off as he entered the next cavern, coming to an abrupt stop that caused both of his companions to stumble into his back. It was fortunate that Meetra didn't have the lightsaber ignited.

The reason for Bao-Dur's shock was quickly made clear when the two women heard the sound of dozens of legs skittering along the walls and ceiling. Kinrath of all sizes were scurrying around, clicking to each other as they moved through what was apparently their hive. Surrounding them were numerous large crystal formations, glowing brightly even in the low light. But something about them seemed different, the colors not quite right.

In the center of the cavern sat a single enormous kinrath, larger than any Meetra had ever seen. Others swarmed around her, dwarfed by her immense bulk. When the creature spotted the intruders, she released a shrill scream that instantly alerted the rest of her hive to the potential danger and caused hundreds of beady red eyes to turn and stare at the cavern entrance.

"Uh-oh." Igniting the lightsaber, Meetra moved to block her companions from the incoming swarm, but Bao-Dur shouldered past her.

"General, no! They were here long before we were. Killing them isn't right or fair."

"I don't think they feel the same way about us!"

The kinrath queen was still screeching in alarm as a multitude of soldiers and workers swarmed in front of her, their mandibles opening to reveal their venomous fangs. Meetra swung the 'saber defensively, the heat and light driving a few of the smaller creatures back but having no effect on the larger individuals.

"Hey, no need for violence," Bao-Dur murmured as he gestured for his remote to stay back. At first, Meetra thought that he was talking to her, but she quickly realized he was addressing the queen. "We don't mean any harm to you or your family. We just want to collect some of these rocks and then we'll be on our way."

"Bao-Dur! They're animals, they can't exactly negotiate a peace treaty!" While Meetra had always known the Zabrak had a soft spot for beasts, she'd never known it went this far.

Visas, who'd been silent since entering the cavern, shook her head. "I sensed something when he spoke to the creature. Let him continue."

Not actually needing permission, Bao-Dur extended one hand as he murmured soothingly to the kinrath queen. "If you let us wander around here for a little bit we won't hurt you so long as you don't attack us first." As he spoke the Force shimmered, sending out calming waves. Even though kinrath weren't known for their Force-sensitivity the queen seemed to respond to the energy, her screeching quieting to softer rumbles and clicks.

"Oh stars, I think it's actually working," Meetra breathed in disbelief. "Keep going."

"That's it, just step back and let us by." A pulse of power left Bao-Dur's palm, wrapping around the queen and subduing her until her chatter slowed to nothing but few dull chirps. This was apparently a signal to the rest of the hive, the soldiers and workers gradually retreating from the strangers even as they remained alert. Finally, even the queen herself took a few steps back, moving away from the crystal formations. The other kinrath began to surround her, but none showed any immediate aggression.

Meetra was speechless as she watched, glancing between Bao-Dur and the kinrath several times before wondering, "How?"

Still holding out his hand as waves of energy flowed between him and the animals, the Zabrak just chuckled. "The Force, I suppose. Though, I don't know how long this will last. So, we might want to be quick."

"Good idea." Powering down the lightsaber, Meetra stowed it before opening her backpack. "Normally you're supposed to search for a crystal that resonates with you but in this situation, it might be wiser to just collect everything lose enough to pick up. Toss what you find in here, and we can sort it later."

It only took a few minutes for the trio to amass a good collection of crystals from the various formations. It seemed that nobody had been in these caves for years, resulting in a multitude of brittle edges and loose chunks that easily broke away from the main deposits. While they definitely collected more than they needed for three lightsabers, Meetra wasn't too concerned. If necessary, they could donate the excess to the remaining Jedi here on Dantooine.

All three of them were panting as Meetra made a final sweep of the cavern, her backpack clanking softly as she moved. If she focused, she could feel the thrum of the crystals within, some of them barely more than a glimmer within the Force while others seemed to have their own gentle heartbeats. She was just about to declare the search complete when her awareness tingled sharply, drawing her attention to something tucked into a small crevice. Humming curiously, she approached it.

Despite the glow of the crystals, the area was dimly lit and it was easy to trip over small imperfections in the cave floor or to kick loose rocks across the ground. So, Meetra wasn't particularly surprised when she approached the mysterious object and felt something crunch underfoot. What did startle her was the spongy texture that her boot encountered as whatever it was squelched beneath her weight. Lifting her foot, she peered closer at whatever she had just stepped on, immediately recoiling when she realized that she was looking at a kinrath egg. Or at least what was left of one. In her carelessness she had stumbled into a small cluster of them, crushing one with a simple misstep and grotesquely splattering the mostly-formed kinrath across the floor. A few of the closest workers croaked their displeasure, but the loss of a single egg out of dozens wasn't enough to provoke an attack.

Wincing at the sight, Meetra hastily scraped away the goo as she tried to figure out what had called to her in the first place. It took a few seconds to notice something half-hidden in the gore. Her awareness surged as she picked it up, identifying the item as a rather heavy crystal that must have been trapped inside of the egg and released when the shell cracked. While it normally would have remained its original color even after the kinrath hatched, it had turned bright red from the sudden and unnatural loss of innocent life. Meetra heard of crystals like this but had never seen one in person. Acquiring them always necessitated the destruction of an egg, something that Jedi Padawans were expressly forbidden from doing. But now she was holding a shockingly warm, crimson crystal in the palm of her hand that pulsed in time with her heartbeat and resonated like nothing she had ever felt before. Unwilling to consider the implications, she hurriedly placed the item into her bag.

"Come on, I think we're done here!" Heading towards the exit, Meetra was soon joined by Bao-Dur and Visas. "Let's leave before we wear out the kinrath's hospitality."

Hundreds of eyes followed the trio as they moved out of sight.

It was only when they'd reach a wider passageway about a hundred meters from the kinrath hive that Meetra let out a sigh of relief. A bright smile spread across her face as she turned to Bao-Dur. "That was amazing! Where did you learn to do that?"

"Well General, I'm honestly not sure what I did or how I did it. But I am glad that it worked."

"The way you used the Force the calm those kinrath… I've never seen anything like it!"

"It seems that your lesson was very effective," Visas noted with a wry twist of her lips. "We've all learned a great deal more about how the Force works."

Meetra couldn't help but laugh at this, some of her earlier tension evaporating as she felt the Force warm around her. "I guess so. It seems that I also have a lot to learn."

"Don't worry General, we can learn together."

The trip back to Khoonda was more pleasant, filled with thoughtful conversation about how the Force felt as it moved through the landscape. While Meetra occasionally commented with some personal philosophies, she mostly just listened to her companions as they shared their observations. It all reminded her of happier times in the Jedi enclave, when she was a child sharing her private introspections with two older Padawans who were visiting from Coruscant. They were a pair of lanky troublemakers who were well on their way to becoming the men who would someday save the Republic.

Lost in those memories, Meetra didn't realize that they were just outside of Khoonda's gates. She was startled out of her thoughts by the buzzing of her commlink, which she answered with unsteady hands. "Yes?"

"Hey, uh… Are you close to the outpost?" Carth's voice was strained.

"Yes, we actually just got back."

"Great! Can you come in? I know this is all really hard for you, but… There's a slight problem."

Meetra's heart sped up as she raced towards the building's main doors. "What's going on? Is everyone okay?"

"For now? Yes. But you might want to get in here before Bastila kills Atton."

---

"Jaq, you absolute piece of slime! When I get my hands on you…"

Meetra, Bao-Dur, and Visas skidded to a halt in the doorway of Khoonda's main office just in time to see Bastila Shan, Jedi prodigy and current Padawan of Revan himself, being held back by Carth and a Cathar woman. The situation was only made more bizarre by Atton, who was cowering against the wall with a nervous grin plastered across his face.

Gritting his teeth as he took an elbow to the ribs, Carth grumbled, "For Force sake, Bastila! Calm down and explain why you chased the poor kid off of the Hawk with your damn lightsaber."

"Hey, I'm not a kid! Hells, I'm probably older than her," Atton objected as he tried to creep out of the room. "But, uh, thank you, Captain, for keeping the crazy Jedi away from me."

Meetra blinked as she struggled to comprehend what she was witnessing. "What the hells is going on…?"

"Oof, ouch!" Not expecting the doorway to be blocked by three of his crewmates, Atton rammed gracelessly into Meetra as he attempted to flee the scene. He didn't get very far, mostly stumbling over his own feet as he grasped the blonde's waist to regain his balance.

"Watch out, he's trying to steal your lightsaber!" Bastila shouted as she freed herself with a strong Force push.

"Who's doing wha…?"

A second powerful shove rippled through the Force, knocking Meetra back a meter. She was so confused by the growing chaos that she didn't react as Bastila sprinted across the room, summoning a dual-bladed lightsaber from the nearby desk and igniting the yellow blades. Wielding the weapon with practiced grace the former Sentinel raced forward, dodging around a surprised Bao-Dur just as Atton ducked behind Visas and sped down the hallway with surprising swiftness. But Bastila was close behind and quickly closed the distance thanks to a burst of enhanced speed.

"Get back here you murderous son of a kath hound!"

Meetra was still blinking away her shock. "Can someone please explain…?"

"We will explain later!" the Cathar shouted as she also ran past. "For now, you may wish to intervene if you value your friend's life!"

That was all Meetra needed to hear. She immediately took off after the others, belatedly noting the lightsaber that dangled at the Cather's hip as she followed the woman down the corridor, keeping pace as they simultaneously veered around a corner and into the wider hallway that led to Koonda's entrance. The hum of a lightsaber grew ominously louder as they swerved and leaped around several surprised farmers and at least one panicked security guard. By the time they caught up to Bastila she was making sharp swipes at Atton's chest, driving him backward with strikes that narrowly missed his flesh.

"Whoah, geeze! Lady, you have the wrong man!"

"Very cute, Jaq." Spinning around in a move that looked suspiciously like Juyo, Bastila jabbed her lower blade upward, barely avoiding her opponent's left cheek. "But you've finally found someone who can see through your lies!"

"Stop it!" Meetra ordered, desperation making her voice quiver. She could feel her frustration building in the Force, but she was hesitant to use the emotion and release her power around so many innocent bystanders. Glancing at the Cathar, she noted a similar sense of trepidation filling the other woman's Force presence.

"If you can do something, I would recommend it. I am mostly trained as a fighter and am not particularly talented with verbal negotiations."

"I would try to negotiate if I had any idea what's going on!" Meetra glanced between Atton and Bastila as she drew her confiscated lightsaber.

"I myself am not sure. But at least it seems your friend it holding his own remarkably well!"

The Cathar was right, Atton was doing an unusually good job of dodging Bastila's blows. He was demonstrating the same grace and maneuverability that he'd displayed on Dxun, easily ducking between strikes from both 'saber blades. It shouldn't have been possible for someone blind to the Force. Echani training could only explain so much of his ability to predict his opponent's moves before they were made.

Irritation poured off of Bastila as she made a hard chop at Atton's legs. He jumped out of the way, but it was a close call. Snarling in annoyance, the former Sentinel taunted, "Go ahead, Jaq, draw it! I know it's in your left boot, right where you always kept it." Twirling her lightsaber, she brought it down millimeters from the man's abdomen. "Or are you too much of a coward to fight someone face-to-face?"

"Okay, this has officially gone past ridiculous." Igniting the confiscated lightsaber, Meetra charged towards the battling pair only to pause when the blade sputtered and then powered down unexpectedly. Groaning at the malfunction, she gave the weapon a shake. Nothing happened. "Kriffing piece of Sith shit!" Hooking the hilt back onto her belt she sighed, summoning the Force as she tried to hold Bastila and Atton in stasis. The energy flowed forth in a strong wave, but both targets managed to roll out of range before they could be affected.

Cursing again, Meetra tried the same tactic a second time, but she couldn't release her power fast enough to pin Bastila down before the other woman made a sweeping kick that knocked Atton off his feet. He landed hard on his back, momentarily defenseless as the former Sentinel descended on him, her upper blade thrust directly at his neck.

"No!" Panic seized Meetra, her throat tightening as her heart hammered out a terrified rhythm. The burst of energy that she unleashed was made stronger by her emotions, swelling to fill the room and immediately trapping Bastila, Atton, and the Cathar in place along with multiple bystanders who seemed equal parts confused and afraid. Desperation clouded Meetra's mind and she squeezed, choking the breath from everyone in her grasp. She didn't care. All that mattered was discovering if Bastila managed to kill Atton before she could react. As she leaped forward she saw that the dual bladed lightsaber was hovering dangerously close to the main artery in her friend's neck. However, it was blocked from making contact.

Blocked by the pale-yellow blade of a highly customized shoto lightsaber.

"What the hells…?"

"Uh, General? You might want to let everyone go before you start rendering some of these farmers unconscious." Bao-Dur was racing towards the immobilized crowd, concern pinching his brow.

"Don't worry," Carth added breathlessly as he held up his pistols. "If Bastila or Atton try to move, I'll stun them. Vann helped me to modify the stun setting on these, so it should be enough to knock a Force user out cold."

Meetra's power immediately melted away, more due to shock than any conscious decision to release her captives. She could hear various individuals gasping for breath, but the sound seemed so distant. Her mind was entirely focused on the lightsaber clutched in Atton's hand. "One of you had better start explaining."

Still using her weapon to pin the prone man, Bastila snarled, "This is Jaq, a former Revanchist who fell to the dark side and became Malak's Sith assassin and Jedi killer."

"I know this looks bad," Atton stammered, "But she's wrong and I can explain. You see, I stole this lightsaber from a Jedi, which might not sound great but…"

"He built it himself. It's a custom assassination tool designed to have a lower profile hilt and a blade that can be extended and retracted in a third of a second."

"I'm not an assassin!"

"He's lying." Visas's soft tone was almost swallowed by the chaos around her. "Normally when Atton speaks, all I can see is static. I assumed it was because he was so distant from the Force, but now… Now I can see him clearly. And I can tell that he's lying."

Extending her awareness, Meetra allowed her consciousness to gently brush against her companion's, fully expecting to feel his usual blankness punctuated only by mental games of pazaak. But instead, she was greeted by the glow of a Force-sensitive presence that crackled with cold power, not as intimidating as some she had known but still formidable. She exhaled heavily. "All this time he was cloaking himself through the Force."

"Just as Malak's most elite assassins were trained to do." There was sorrow in Bastila's voice, though her stance didn't waver.

The guise of the shiftless spacer finally fell away, revealing something harder and colder in Atton's eyes. But his expression was genuinely imploring. "Meetra, there's so much more to the story than what Malak's apprentice is telling you!"

"You were right. Knowing the truth about you does change everything."

"Kriffing hells, let me up you schutta!" Glaring venomously at Bastila, Atton shifted his grip on his lightsaber, providing better leverage to parry the longer blade. "I'm not going to have this conversation laying on my back with your damn 'saber at my throat."

"Because you deserve your dignity?" The former Sentinel scoffed at the notion.

It was the Cathar who placed a firm hand on her companion's shoulder, admonishment in her golden eyes. "Bastila, allow him to speak. If Vann has taught us anything, it is that even the darkest individuals deserve a chance to explain their actions. I will help you guard him in case he decides to try anything foolish."

"I don't want to have this conversation at all," Meetra muttered disbelievingly, even as questions began to pour forth. "How is any of this possible? You were a Jedi. You probably served beside me and I didn't even recognize you or feel you in the Force! How?"

The pale yellow blade retracted in the blink of an eye, its hilt disappearing into the sleeve of Atton's jacket with a practiced flick of his wrist. He climbed to his feet with a grunt, rolling his eyes at Bastila's seething hostility even as he held up his hands when the Cathar twitched towards her lightsaber. With an awkward cough, he began to speak. "I was seventeen when the Jedi Council gave the Revanchists permission to enter the war. You know, stupid enough to actually believe that if I joined the fight, I could make all the difference in the galaxy. And also… I knew my homeworld had been attacked by the Mandalorians. See, I came to the Order a little later in life, so I still remember my birth family."

Meetra narrowed her eyes. "Revan didn't allow anyone younger than eighteen to join the war effort."

"I sliced my records, it's what a good Sentinel does. I lied and said I was eighteen and Revan let me join him. I thought I was so clever, that I had everything under control but…" A haunted expression crossed Atton's face, his tone growing shaky and more distant. "War is… dark. You should know that better than anyone else. It changed me, made me into a person I hardly recognized. So, when Malak needed individuals for a special assignment I didn't hesitate to volunteer. And when that assignment was assassinations I convinced myself that I was just doing my part."

"You really did assassinate people for Revan and Malak?"

"Just Malak. Revan had a droid for that type of thing." This remark earned some uncomfortable grumbling from both Bastila and Carth.

Even though she didn't want the answer, Meetra couldn't stop herself from asking, "And after the war, when Malak seized control of the Republic, why did you keep following him? How many Jedi did you kill because he told you to?"

There was a long moment of silence as Atton considered his response, his Force presence flickering icily. His jaw tensed as he spoke. "I kept assassinating people for the former Supreme Commander because I was too blinded by hatred to realize how kriffed up I was, and too much of a coward to take a hard look at myself. As for how many… I lost count. It was anyone who refused to turn to Malak's side."

"So here's my question," Bastila interrupted as she crossed her arms irritably. "What hole did you crawl into after Malak was captured? I've had quite a bit of difficulty tracking you down."

"Nar Shadda to clear my head, and then… the Jedi Order. After everything that happened with Revan, the Masters were willing to accept any Revanchists back into the Order provided that we passed a few basic tests. None of my… none of the assassinations were ever recorded, so to the best of their knowledge I was only a foot soldier led astray by my leaders. Just like dozens of other Revanchists."

Gaping disbelievingly, Meetra demanded, "But couldn't they sense you?"

Atton smirked proudly in response. "Could you? Could Visas or Bao-Dur? Revan trained me to cloak myself using the Force and I was one of his best students. When I went before the Council I hid myself so that they couldn't tell how far I'd fallen. Or maybe they knew and just didn't care. After all, they've been giving me bantha shit assignments like investigating mining facilities for signs of tampering."

"Everything you've ever told me is a lie." A high-pitched droning rang through Meetra's ears as all sensation fled her body, leaving her numb and cold. "You're a Jedi, you've been spying on me, we've known each other since childhood and I didn't realize it…"

"No! I am not spying on you, I really did need a ride off of Peragus." Drawing a ragged breath, Atton's tone became pleading. "And we never knew each other before the war since I was trained entirely on Coruscant. During the war, I don't think we said two words to each other. You were busy leading troops while I…"

"Was assassinating political targets?" Bastila interjected with a snort.

"Yes, Bastila. Technically you're right, which I know makes you happy." The sarcasm faded from Atton's voice as he turned back to Meetra. "But I did see you on the battlefield once and damn if you weren't impressive. I was awestruck just watching you. That's actually how I recognized you back on Peragus."

"Alright, you've had your chance to explain yourself." Grasping Atton's wrist, Bastila used the Force to yank the concealed lightsaber from his sleeve. "Now it's time to come with me to face the justice that you've been avoiding for quite some time."

Meetra barely recognized her own voice when she demanded, "What's going to happen to him?"

"I'll take him back to Coruscant to stand trial for his crimes. He'll receive a fair judgment and then be turned over to the Jedi Council for final sentencing. There's a good chance he'll end up in a cell right next to Malak." Noting the other woman's increasing distress, Bastila reassured her, "Don't feel bad, he's a murderer!"

"So am I according to the Jedi Council."

"You and I both know it's not the same thing!"

Jerking her chin up, Meetra challenged, "Really, what's the difference? We were both following orders."

"The difference is that he kept following orders even after the war ended and Malak fell."

"Unlike, say… Malak's former apprentice?"

"That's also different!" Bastila snapped, her nose and brow scrunching up in irritation.

"I'm not seeing much of a difference here." As she crossed her arms, Meetra slipped into the stern demeanor of an experienced battlefield general. "My crew needs a pilot. Just give him to me and I'll make sure that he doesn't cause any more trouble."

"Meetra, you know that's not how this works!"

"They're trying to find Vann," Carth muttered as he absently brushed the place where his pendant hung beneath his shirt. "Which means they need someone who can fly through whatever sarlacc pit he's gotten himself into. I'd offer to do it myself, but my vacation time is almost up and in case everyone forgot, I have the entire Star Forge to guard."

"…Oh." The mention of her master caused a myriad of emotions to flit across Bastila's face, warmth and shadow flowing through her presence. Nose in the air as though she couldn't bear to look at Atton for another moment, she finally proclaimed, "Fine, he can stay with you until your mission is complete. But afterward, he goes to trial. And if he causes any problems in the meantime or, Force forbid, manages to escape again, you're the one I'm blaming."

"That's fair, I accept your terms." Meetra held out her hand, which Bastila accepted with a prim yet firm shake to confirm their deal.

Breathing out a sigh of relief, Atton sidled up to his rescuer with a roguish grin as he nudged her ribs with his elbow. "Shit. Thank you so much for saving my ass yet again…"

Meetra's expression was pure durasteel as she turned to the man, her tone blank even as the Force froze around her like a hailstorm. "Don't thank me. I'm only doing this because I need a pilot." Turning away, she jerked her head towards the landing pad where the Hawk was docked. "Just… go back to the ship. Work on the repairs. Play pazaak for all I care. Being back on this planet is hard enough without this fresh, steaming pile of karking bantha shit."

"I… Yeah. I understand. You know where I'll be if you need me." Shrinking back at his companion's cold demeanor Atton shoved his hands deep into his pockets and hung his head. "Look, I know this doesn't mean anything coming from me right now, but for what it's worth… I really am sorry."

It was hard for Meetra to bite her tongue as Atton walked away, his presence returning to static as his mental shields slid back into place. There were so many things that she wanted to say and more questions that she wanted to ask but, in the end, she let him go. Maybe this was how Atris felt as she watched Meetra leave for war.

The Cathar's voice was strained as she quietly hissed, "Bastila, I hate to interrupt this, ah, situation but now that it appears to be settled I must mention you that we are supposed to meet with Master Lamar in… Fifteen minutes ago."

"Juhani, why didn't you remind me!?"

"You were a bit preoccupied." Grinning toothily, the Cathar quipped, "Also, I just did."

Bastila was already panicking as she haphazardly clipped Atton's lightsaber to her belt by accident while fluttering distractedly from side to side. "Yes, but now we're late and…"

"You're meeting with Vrook Lamar?" Meetra arched a brow as she moved to stand beside Juhani. "I'm coming too."

Even agitated, Bastila managed to sound condescending. "Meetra, I'm not entirely sure that's a wise decision."

"I need to speak with both you and him, so I might as well get all of my awkward conversations done in a single meeting."

"If it's not too presumptuous for me to ask, may I attend this meeting as well?" Visas bowed deeply as she made her request. "Master Atris always spoke highly of Master Lamar and I would appreciate the opportunity to learn from his wisdom."

Gently smiling at the Miraluka, Meetra waved her closer. "Of course you're welcome to come. Though, I don't know how much wisdom a grouchy old cannok like Vrook can provide."

"Really, I must insist…"

"We're coming with you, Bastila." Meetra's tone was resolute.

"Alright then. I suppose there's no convincing you otherwise." Having finally sorted herself, Bastila brushed invisible dust from her black and red robes to avoid looking at the other women. "But be warned, you're not going to like where we're meeting."

"Is it better or worse than a hive of kinrath?"

There was an extended pause before Bastila quietly admitted, "For you? It's far, far worse."

---

"He really did destroy everything." Staring at the remains of the Jedi enclave that had been her home for the first two decades of her life, Meetra clenched her jaw to bite back the swell of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. While the building was partially intact, the collapsed portions of the roof and the scorch marks that charred almost every visible surface rendered the location nearly unrecognizable. But if she squinted, she could make out enough familiar features to make her heart ache.

Sensing the mounting turmoil in the Force, Bastila cast a worried glance at the blonde. "Meetra, you don't have to be here. Juhani and I can investigate the locals' complaints and then meet with you somewhere else to discuss…"

"You shouldn't have come at all," an older voice grumbled. "You're not necessary to this investigation."

"It's good to see you too, Vrook."

Scowling at the informality, the Jedi Master squared his shoulders. "That would be Master Lamar to you, Surik."

Meetra was only partially listening as she wandered closer to the husk of the building that once encompassed her whole life. "As Atris and Kavar have already reminded me, I'm not a Jedi anymore."

"So, that gives you permission to ignore formality?"

Smiling, Meetra offered a half-shrug to her former teacher. "It at least lets me forgo Jedi pretensions."

"Forgive me Master Lamar," Bastila said just a little louder than absolutely necessary. "But what is the Force-related concern that you were petitioned with?"

Ironically enough, the Jedi huffed irritably at the former Sentinel's formality. "It's nothing. Just a bunch of rumors and superstition from farmers who believe these ruins are haunted."

Bastila's brow creased as she considered this information. "Even so, considering the Sith attack that just transpired on Dxun we should treat these reports with the utmost seriousness."

"Is it really necessary for you to traipse through the grave of the Jedi who died in Malak's attack?" Vrook sighed heavily when he was almost interrupted. "And yes, Shan. I know you made an effort to help us evacuate in time. Unfortunately, like many of your interactions with the Jedi Order, it was too little too late."

Staring curiously at the old Master, Meetra murmured, "I'm sure those who have become one with the Force would understand that we have to investigate their tomb to protect the living. The bodies buried in those ruins are just mortal remains that will decay with time, but the Force is eternal. Those who are one with it are one with the universe and have no care for crude matter."

'Very clever indeed.' Kreia chuckled within the Force bond. 'Watch as Vrook struggles to deny such a well-made argument. After all, the Jedi believe that we are all luminous beings. Though, is the Force truly eternal? Some might argue that you have seen its death, only to emerge from the other side.'

Just as predicted, Master Lamar's expression grew sourer and he grumbled harshly under his breath before finally announcing, "If you want to investigate, I'm not going to stop you."

"Good," Meetra quipped as she brushed past the Jedi Master, "Because I wasn't going to listen anyway." Speaking into her commlink, she requested, "Bao-Dur, can you please have your remote begin a scan of… of the structure?"

The small group moved towards the remains of the enclave, leaving Vrook glowering in their wake. Bastila cast one last glance behind them as she smiled tersely at the Master, though Meetra barely noticed as she forced herself to stare straight ahead so that she could ignore some of the devastation surrounding her. With her jaw set firm and the familiar weight of the rifle on her back, she prepared to meet whatever was waiting inside the ruins. Part of her hoped that it was more Sith. They were a problem that was far easier to solve than everything else she was facing.

Bao-Dur was waiting for them at the half-collapsed entrance to enclave's sublevel, his remote delivering its reconnaissance data to his pad. "No signs of traps, General. Though there appear to be several life forms inside."

"Can you tell if it's creatures that lie within? Or something more?" It was the first time that Visas had spoken since approaching the ruins and her voice sounded strained.

"Oh, this is an old remote and the sensors aren't that good. Honestly, I'm lucky to get any lifeform readings at all…" Trailing off as he noticed the Miraluka's doubtful frown, Bao-Dur cleared his throat. "Ah, that. I'm pretty sure that we're too far away for me to… sense anything."

"Even though we are no longer Jedi, we should try to use peace if at all possible…"

"If whatever is inside is friendly, you can negotiate with them," Juhani exasperatedly informed Bastila, even as she drew her lightsaber. "If not, then we can negotiate my way."

"Since it seems like we're ready I suggest that we take the, ah, northwest route through the… western passageway…" Despite her desire to lead this expedition, it was obvious that Bastila didn't actually know the layout of the sublevel.

"When you walk through that door you'll find yourself in a hallway that runs east and west, equal distance both ways before reaching a ninety-degree bend that leads down another hallway." Try as she might, Meetra couldn't banish the memories of racing through those corridors as a child, the Masters gently chiding her to slow down and be mindful. "The secondary hallways might be more dangerous since there are five connected rooms, all of which can prove advantageous for an ambush."

"Correct," Bastila agreed. "Exactly that."

"Juhani, you told me earlier that your area of expertise is combat."

The Cathar nodded curiously. "Yes…"

"Good. I assume that means you can protect yourself and anyone around you, within reason. As tactically unwise as this may sound, it will be better if we split up. Juhani, I think that you should go with Bao-Dur and Visas." Noting the other woman's doubtful expression, Meetra continued, "They're not noncombatants if that's what you're worried about. Visas can see things the rest of us can't and Bao-Dur can slice, repair, or reprogram just about anything. Between the three of you, I think you have the skills to handle almost anything you find inside."

"And what about us?" Bastila wondered, having apparently given up on being in charge.

"We sweep around in the other direction." Using her hands to demonstrate her strategy, Meetra carefully described her plan. "The entire sublevel is a square, each side a mirror image of the other. I don't know what type of shape it's currently in, but the fact that it loops can be used to our advantage. If either group is attacked, they can double back while alerting the others to be ready. Even if the attackers know there are more of us, they might not expect what they find."

"That's not a bad plan, General. It might be the best we're going to get in this type of situation."

'And it gives you an opportunity to speak with the Revanchist's pupil. I know you have questions for her.' Kreia sounded mildly disapproving, though she didn't voice any admonishment.

There was a little more discussion about strategy as everyone confirmed small details to ensure that they were as prepared as possible. This type of planning was comforting to Meetra, a pre-battle ritual that she had come to appreciate during the war for than just the advantage it provided. It was a moment of calm before everything dissolved into chaos and bloodshed. Another form of moving meditation. Thanks to it, she was feeling more focused by the time she found herself sneaking through the ruined hallways with Bastila at her side, the former Sentinel taking their mission quite seriously.

"Do you sense anything?"

"No." Technically Meetra did, but it was only the small rodents and insects that she recognized from her childhood. Harmless creatures who made their homes in dark corners and damp pipes.

"Well then, I suppose we should…"

Meetra had planned to be more subtle, but she found herself blurting out, "You didn't grow-up here, did you?"

"I was raised as a spacer by my parents until I joined the Order on Coruscant." A flare of pain swirled around Bastila at the mention of her family. "I spent a bit of time here as a Padawan, though that was before the war started and the enclaved stopped teaching new students."

"Then you knew Atton."

"Jaq? Yes, we trained together quite a bit when we were younger as we're fairly close in age and both found ourselves walking the path of the Sentinel. That's how I recognized him so easily, even with his presence camouflaged."

Nibbling her bottom lip, Meetra thought carefully about her next question. "What was he like… before the war?"

"Brash. Arrogant. He often refused to take his studies seriously. But he was always a talented fighter and quite clever. Perhaps too clever for his own good."

It was obvious that Bastila knew the intended meaning of the question, but was dancing around the truth. So Meetra pushed harder. "Was he dark?"

"No more than you or Malak. Or Vann, for that matter."

"You call him Vann now?" Meetra was honestly surprised by this

"It's what he prefers to be called. Carth said that you're looking for him and…" Seeing that the other woman was about to interject, Bastila held up a hand. "No, hear me out. I know that you were quite close during the war and the Force tells me that if anyone is capable of finding him, it's you. But should you succeed, just know that he's not the same man that you remember."

"I know that he lost some of his memories…"

"All of his memories. The grand sum of Vann Chis's life experience mostly consists of three years working as a Force-blind mercenary along the Outer Rim, one year as a Republic hero who hated every moment of his fame, and two years… wherever he is now. Don't misunderstand me, he's still very much Revan. He has the same power, the same passion, and the same awful sense of humor. He's still driven to help others, even if he doesn't like to admit it. But…" Worry tugged at the corners of Bastila's mouth. "He lacks the confidence he once had. We share a teaching bond, so I've seen his thoughts and felt his pain. One of the last times I interacted with him I realized that he truly believes that he's a fraud."

"He was never as confident as people thought. His mask hid a lot of his emotions from the galaxy and he hid a lot of himself from everyone around him." Considering this new information, Meetra brightened. "Actually, it sounds like he's exactly the same."

"Perhaps. I can only hope that you manage to learn the truth for yourself."

"If he wants to be found, I'll find him. If not…" The buzzing of Meetra's commlink interrupted the rest of her sentence.

"Uh, General. We seem to have stumbled into a… bit of a situation."

The hiss of lightsabers was audible even through the small speaker, joined by Juhani's irritated voice as she shouted, "This 'situation' is wielding a 'saber!"

Already backtracking her way down the hall, Meetra swung her rifle off her shoulder as she called, "Dammit, we'll be right there!"

Bastila was close behind as the two women sped across the cracked floor, leaping over craters and ducking around collapsed pillars that blocked parts of their path. Thanks to the Force they were both able to add a burst of speed to their run, rounding the corner as twin blurs. Meetra was the first to stumble to a stop, the familiar hiss of a lightsaber fight drawing her attention to a pair of clashing red blades. One of them belonged to Juhani, who handled her weapon with the ease of a practiced duelist. The other combatant was unfamiliar, though their hooded black robe was reminiscent of the Sith back on Dxun.

Whoever this aggressive stranger was, they were strong. Despite Juhani's obvious skill, they deflected her swings with powerful chops of their own, locking blades and easily driving their opponent back. Sensing that she was at a disadvantage, the Cathar attempted to flip away in a move that Meetra recognized as Ataru. However, the low ceiling and heavy debris covering the floor forced an awkward landing with shaky footing. The black-clad figure seized their opportunity, lunging forward while their adversary was unsteady. The only thing that prevented Juhani from losing a hand was Bastila's 'saber, which the former Sentinel ignited as she dove forward to protect her friend.

Now faced with two opponents, the black-clad figure fell into a defensive stance as they parried a set of strikes before twisting to the side to consider their options. However, this new vantage point gave them a clear view of Meetra, who was now aiming her rifle at the melee. Snarling at the sight, the stranger shouted, "The Exile! Lord Nihilus knew you would be here." The voice was feminine, made hoarse from the anger that infused it.

Meetra didn't wait another second to begin firing, her finger twitching against the trigger in rapid succession as both Bastila and Juhani descended upon the apparent Sith with renewed vigor. At least one bolt struck the strange woman, but she didn't seem to notice as she knocked aside Bastila's blade with a cleave of her own. The next instant she twirled around, her thick black robe billowing as she flung out her hand and Force-pushed Juhani into the closest wall. With her path clear, she raced towards Meetra, her crimson lightsaber deflecting bolts as she ran.

"You will not touch her!" Visas's appearance from behind a broken pillar surprised everyone, though not as much as the wave of Force energy that flowed from her hands as she lifted and then threw the Sith three meters down the hallway.

There was a hard thud as the black-robed figure landed on the ground, immediately followed by a series of deafening booms that filled the corridor. The concussive force was enough to shake the dust from the walls and shift the already damaged pillars, the blast of light and sound disorienting everyone in the vicinity. It took several seconds to discern what had happened, though things became clearer when Bao-Dur appeared wearing a guilty expression as he gripped a detonator.

"Did, uh, anyone else get hit by the shrapnel?"

The Sith's robes were still smoking, her body sprawled amongst the remains of the string of frag mines that she'd literally been thrown on top of. Despite her adversary's apparent incapacitation, Meetra raised her rifle as she slowly approached the strange woman. "Hands up where I can see them."

Dazed from the blast, the Sith struggle upright. Small bits of metal tinkled to the floor, followed by drops of blood from the dozens of cuts carved by the mine's spray of shrapnel. As she moved her hood fell away, revealing a head of short white hair and a pair of steely-blue eyes that glittered like ice. The resemblance to Atris was startling and the momentary shock caused Meetra to stumble to a halt. As weak as she was, the Sith seized this opportunity and reached out one hand, wrapping the Force around her target's throat as she bared her blood-stained teeth.

As she gasped for breath through her compressed airway Meetra heard the rest of the group shout in alarm, Bastila and Juhani racing towards her with unnatural speed. But the two Force users were too slow to reach the Sith before the former general's training kicked in, her body long accustomed to fighting in adverse conditions. Her mind was swimming from a lack of oxygen but muscle memory enabled one palm to slam the rifle from kill to stun a second before she raised it just enough to fire two shots. The o-shaped energy struck the Sith directly in the chest, immediately dropping her like a bag of duracrete.

Bending over as she sucked in air, Meetra kept the rifle aimed at the Sith as the others reached her. "So," she wheezed. "Vrook was wrong."

"Those mines were a rather clever plan," Bastila noted as she pointed her lightsaber at the now unconscious Sith. "Though, it would have been nice to know that Visas was trained in the use of the Force."

Meetra shrugged. "I honestly didn't know she could throw someone through the air."

"Nor did I." Visas ducked her head meekly. "That was… unplanned. Bao-Dur set the mines so that, if we were forced to double back, any pursuers would be slowed down. I did not intend to throw that woman onto them, Exile. But when I saw you in danger I felt… something cold. And it compelled me to act."

"What you felt was the dark side." Juhani seemed unperturbed by this fact. "You harnessed your emotions to save your friend."

"A dangerous technique to tap into without a teacher." Offering Meetra a terse half-smile, Bastila added, "So, it's rather fortunate that you seem to have found one."

"General, while we're on the subject of Force related things…" Bao-Dur nodded to some metal scraps beside the Sith. "You might want to collect the parts of that broken lightsaber before they fall into the wrong hands."

Meetra followed the Zabrak's gaze, realizing that the Sith's weapon had been destroyed by the mine. "Can you do that while the rest of us get our prisoner contained and somewhere safe? I think we all have a lot of questions that need answers."

---

"Who are you? And more importantly, who is Darth Nihilus? I know they're a Sith Lord connected to Sion, but we want to know more."

The Echani's pale features didn't flinch beneath Meetra's scrutiny, though she remained tractable even as Bastila less-than delicately removed another shard of metal from her back. "I am the last of Lord Nihilus's Handmaidens. The rest you already seem to know."

"Oh great, there's more of them." Atton rolled his eyes as he leaned against a cabinet in the Hawk's medical bay, his arms crossed over his chest. Despite his casual stance, one hand was subtly hovering near the shoto lightsaber hidden in his sleeve, the item returned to him after a great deal of complaining from Bastila.

While the group had briefly considered bringing the Sith back to Khoonda Outpost, the concern that Vrook would take over the interrogation and refuse to share his findings had compelled Meetra to change course. That was why they were all currently crowded into the Ebon Hawk's medical bay. Juhani was guarding the entrance should their captive try and escape, and after much debate, Atton had been summoned to provide additional back-up for Bastila. While Meetra wanted to loathe him, she couldn't help but find his familiar sarcasm soothing.

"So, there are others like you?"

Grimacing minutely as Bastila tugged a particularly jagged piece of shrapnel from her shoulder, the Sith shook her head at Meetra. "Like me? No. My sisters are inoffensive to our master. They do not distract him in the same way that I do, nor are they as easily distracted as I. Thus, I am the last of them."

"Distract him?"

"Lord Nihilus wishes for the chaotic flow of the universe to be silenced. He has shown it to us, the disordered scream of every lifeform that echoes unchecked through the galaxy. The sound is enough to fill one's head with such static that you cannot think about anything but destroying the unending noise. And to my master, my presence screams louder than most."

"The chaotic flow… You mean the Force?" Atton's brow furrowed in consideration, his presence temporarily flaring around him. "I wouldn't personally describe it as chaotic, but yeah. Anyone with enough Force sensitivity can feel that pulse. The thrum, you know? The heartbeat of everything."

Meetra nodded in agreement. "And Force users tend to have a more obvious presence, which I suppose could be described as a scream. Are you saying that you're the only one of your sisters who's Force-sensitive?"

"I am the only one capable of being trained in Lord Nihilus's arts, if that is what you are referring to."

"Sort of. But if you're the only Force-sensitive, then wouldn't you be more valuable?"

"My sisters are full Echani. Their faces all honor their mother and within the Force they all feel like a single mind and body. As such, Lord Nihilus can ignore them as they serve him. But I disrupt him. My very presence hurts his thoughts. He wished to kill me when he discovered us in the ruins he left of Eshan, but my sisters begged for my life despite the fact that we only share a father. As such, Lord Nihilus spared me and I have been honor-bound to serve him ever since."

From the doorway, Juhani growled as anger surged around her. "You are his slave?"

"I am whatever he wishes me to be." The Sith seemed unbothered by this statement.

"There, that should do it," Bastila announced, holding up a final piece of bloodied metal between her tweezers. "This seems to be the last of the shrapnel. A stimpack and a little kolto should take care of the open wounds and any scaring, though I don't think it will help with the… previous damage."

Confused by the former Sentinel's comment, Meetra quickly shifted so that she could look at the Sith's exposed back. Her chalk-white skin was dotted with bloody lacerations from the mine, though the wounds were minor compared to the raised, pearly-pink scars that were etched and burned into her flesh. Some were old enough to barely be noticeable while others were so fresh they remained red around the edges. "Did Nihilus do that to you?"

"Some." The woman shrugged. "And some is from my earlier training. An Echani warrior does not learn to fight without shedding blood in the process."

"So, she's a Sith and an Echani warrior?" Atton groaned in frustration. "Great, this just keeps getting better."

"Why did Nihilus send you after me?"

"I was only a test of your capabilities, Exile. If you managed to beat me in single combat, my master would know that you are strong enough."

Alarm surged through Meetra, the adrenalin making her heart race. "Strong enough for what?"

"To face him." The Sith's expression grew somber. "He has sensed your growing power and he knows that you will be the last barrier that stands in the way of his ultimate goal."

"To what, silence the universe by killing the Force? Is that even possible? And why me?"

Kreia's voiced tutted disapprovingly through Meetra's mind. 'You already know the answer to that last question. It is your potential that makes you so dangerous.'

"More importantly, is your master aware that I technically defeated you? It might not have been what he was expecting, but will he still take it as a signal that I'm ready for whatever he's planning?"

Atton snorted in amusement. "I'd say that a couple of stun-bolts to the chest still counts as a good ass-kicking."

Disappointment entered the Sith's tone. "I was expecting to clash blades, to duel as the great Force users have done for millennia. But you have still bested me and my master is surely aware of this. As for your other questions… I do not presume to understand the intricacies of Lord Nihilus's plan."

"Alright. I guess the last question is what we should do with you now," Meetra admitted. "I'm not about to let you return to Nihilus."

Shaking her head, Juhani quietly hissed, "If she does, her master will kill her. Those who embrace the dark side do not accept failure."

"You could turn her over to the Jedi. Perhaps as a peace-offering to Master Lamar?" Bastila smiled hopefully, though her tone was doubtful.

"I think I'd rather eat the shrapnel that you just pulled out of her than make a deal with Vrook. And besides, she might have more information." Drawing a slow breath, Meetra turned to look the Sith in the eyes, her tone resolute. "If we let you stay on this ship, will you assist us however you can?"

"You have all shown more mercy than I deserve by sparing my unworthy life. As such, my debt is transferred to you, Exile, if you will have me."

Sighing dramatically, Atton inched his fingers closer to his blade. "You are not seriously considering this…"

"So long as you don't try to harm or kill me or the rest of my crew, I think we can make this work." Meetra nodded to the Sith. "Consider this a partnership instead of a debt, especially since we really do need your help. We think that your master is connected to the deaths of many Jedi and that he may know something about the disappearance of a… An old friend."

The Sith nodded. "I know a bit about his hunt for the Jedi. About a year after we came into the service of our master, Lord Nihilus brought my sisters and me to a world called Katarr. There he destroyed a conclave of Jedi Masters. We were made to watch his every action so that we might understand the necessity of destroying such individuals. It was there that he first showed us the chaos of the universe and the blissful silence that he can bring."

"You were there…" Visas's soft voice cut through the quiet of the room, her presence unnoticed until now thanks to everyone's focus on the Sith. "You saw him turn a colony to rubble and you call it part of that creature's plan? For a time after the decimation of my home, I was truly blind. Even with my sight returning I still see the flames and destruction tainting everything around me." At this the Miraluka lifted the front of her veil, revealing the burn scars that marred the layer of skin covering her blank eye sockets. "The ashes of Katarr haunt my every moment and you act as though the decimation of my home was little more than an annoyance!"

"It was meant to be a mercy. There were never supposed to be survivors."

"Exile, Meetra," Visas pleaded, rage cascading around her in frigid sheets, "You cannot allow her to stay!"

"Visas…" Meetra opened her mouth to apologize, to explain that nobody realized this Sith was directly connected to the destruction of Katarr, but the Miraluka was already racing away. Her boots thudded loudly against the grated floor. Abandoning everyone in the medical bay, Meetra followed.

She didn't catch-up to Visas until they reached the starboard crew quarters, where the other woman was kneeling quietly on the floor as she attempted to slip into meditation. Meetra crouched in front of her, keeping a hand width between them. "I… I'm sorry. But we need the information that this Sith has. I understand if you're mad at me, or if you never want to speak to me again. If you'd prefer, you can go back to Rakata with Carth and Bastila. I'm sure someone there would be happy to train you…"

"I don't want another teacher!" Drawing a breath to steady her voice the Miraluka turned to stare at Meetra, her unseeing gaze disarmingly intense. "You said that you would train me, and that is what I desire. I want you as my teacher as I learn the ways of the Force. But I do not want her, that creature on this ship!"

"I… Alright." Nodding slowly, Meetra considered her options. "Maybe Bastila can take her back to Rakata. We can contact their enclave to get more information when we need it and…"

Heaving a deep sigh, Visas hung her head. "But that is not fair to you or your quest, is it? What you are trying to do is far more important than my petty desires. I… I cannot be selfish. It would be better for the galaxy if this Sith remains on board and I merely learn to avoid her."

"Life isn't fair, Visas. I learned that a long time ago. And sometimes you have to be selfish to be happy." Rocking forward, Meetra placed a gentle hand on the other woman's shoulder. "Do you really think you'll be alright if she stays?"

"I don't know. But for you, I will make the effort."

The implication of those words settled uncomfortably and for a long moment, Meetra wasn't sure if she could bear the weight of Visas's unwavering admiration. The Miraluka was willing to live on a cramped freighter with someone who was trained by the same Sith who destroyed her homeworld, all for the sake of having Meetra as her teacher. It was overwhelming. Unable to find the right words, she settled for giving the other woman's shoulder what she hoped was a comforting squeeze before slowly climbing to her feet. Silence hung heavy between them, the sum of their emotions laid bare within the Force. Because of this, there was nothing left to say. All Meetra could do was send out a burst of reassurance as she stood and exited the dormitory, leaving Visas to meditate on the impractical situation they'd settled on.

Atton was waiting a few meters down the hallway. "Hey, uh, Bastila and Juhani kept grilling this 'handmaiden' after you left. Apparently, she knows where Nihilus and Sion might be headed. She claims that there's only one planet they consider their true home…" He swallowed hard, a haunted look passing over his features. "Korriban."

"You've been there."

"Yeah, few times. Can't say I'd call it a vacation destination." Despite his attempt at humor, Atton's voice was strained.

"Master Vash is stationed on Korriban, so we have to go there eventually to speak with her." Meetra clenched her jaw in annoyance. "We should leave as soon as we're ready. There's no reason to stay on Dantooine."

"So." Shifting uncomfortably, Atton made a vague gesture towards the cockpit. "Since I'm your… the pilot, should I begin plotting a course…?"

"Yes. Do that while I get things settled with Bastila, Juhani, and Carth. I think the captain's going back to Rakata, so I should say good-bye."

"Got it. I guess I'll go do my, uh, my job."

The awkwardness didn't fade even as Atton slunk towards the front of the ship, casting one last glance over his shoulder before turning the corner. Meetra kept staring after him, trying to summon anger for everything he stood for. He was one of the Revanchists who fell, followed Malak, and earned them the reputation of sadists rather than soldiers. He was a liar and murderer. Yet, when she looked at him all she could see was one more person who lost himself in the fog of war. With a sigh, she straightened her tunic and went to speak with the rest of the crew about their next destination.

The rest of that day and most of the next were a whirl of meetings and planning, including a very brief conversation with Vrook Lamar during which he provided exactly zero advice on the new Sith threat.

"I blame Revan and Malak," he complained bitterly. "If they had the patience and wisdom of true Jedi they wouldn't have rushed to go to war. We could have located the source of this supposed 'true Sith' before it threatened the Republic."

Meetra had nearly stormed out of the room after that, but she held back her temper long enough to ask one last question. Specifically, why the crystals they had collected from Dantooine's caves were so oddly colored. The yellow crystals appeared bronze, the green were more of a silvery viridian, and the blue were nearly as violet as the pendant Carth wore around his neck.

Vrook had turned up his nose at Bao-Dur's theory that the kinrath's continued presence changed the mineral properties of the cave environment. "They're corrupted by the dark side," the Master had theorized. "The colors weren't like that before Malak attacked."

Obviously, Vrook had refused Meetra's offer to leave any extra crystals with what remained of the Jedi enclave. So, she and her crew had a large collection to choose from. Oddly enough, it quickly proved useful.

"Make a new lightsaber," Meetra ordered as she shoved a handful of parts at Atton.

"Huh?"

"The blade you have, which I somehow talked Bastila into letting you keep for now, is an assassination tool. But I don't need an assassin, I need a Knight."

Atton looked stunned. "You want me to make a full-sized blade. You trust me to do that?"

"Yes. Get on it. Bao-Dur can help you."

"I know how…"

Meetra didn't stick around to hear the rest, mostly because she didn't need another reminder that 'Atton Rand' was nothing more than a cover expertly crafted by a trained Jedi Sentinel. And besides, she had more important business to attend to down on Khoonda's landing pad.

"So, I guess this is goodbye." Offering Carth a half-smile, Meetra rocked back on her heels.

"I want to come with you, I really do. But… four years ago Vann asked me to guard one of the most dangerous structures in the galaxy. He's trusting me to keep the Star Forge safe, and I can't abandon my post just to go on a wild gizka chase." Rubbing the back of his neck, the captain winced. "And besides, Korriban and I don't have the best history."

"If I find him, do you want me to tell him anything for you?"

"Yes. Let him know that I'm still watching over the Star Forge and the Republic, just like he asked. But also tell him to get his ass home, because I miss him. We all do."

"I'll make sure he gets the message." On impulse, Meetra rushed forward and wrapped her arms around Carth's chest, hugging him tightly. She could feel his pendant pressed between them, thrumming with the gentle hum of Revan's presence. "Goodbye. And be safe."

"Hey now, I'm just going back to work. You're the one running into the mynock's nest. And besides, you'll have Bastila with you."

Even though Carth seemed sincere, Meetra couldn't suppress the eye-roll that she gave him. "Oh yes. I'm sure she'll be a real asset once she's done ordering everyone around."

"She's more talented than she seems. Vann trained her, after all."

"We'll see." With a final wave to both the captain and Juhani, Meetra watched as the pair headed to the ship that would take them back to Rakata where they would await whatever new information Bastila uncovered. That was the official reason the former Sentinel was coming with Meetra's crew; she wanted to relay any news as swiftly as possible. Unofficially she probably just wanted to micromanage the entire mission.

Smoothing her hair back, Meetra searched the Force for strength as she headed back to the Ebon Hawk, fully aware that she would be traveling with a dangerously contentious crew. At least she could escape to the garage and work on her lightsaber if things got too bad. Though, that came with its own concerns. Out of all the crystals they had collected on Dantooine, only one truly resonated with her. It was the red crystal that had been trapped inside the kinrath egg that she had accidentally crushed, snuffing out an innocent life in less than a second. The crystal was the color of freshly spilled human blood and seemed to exude an ominous aura. Yet, whenever she held the object it pulsed in time with her heartbeat.

Meetra tried to forget the existence of the crystal and she even considered throwing it into the stream that flowed near Khoonda. But the thought of discarding the item irked her, especially since she recognized its remarkable quality. She preferred to wield a single blade and while she wasn't a Makashi expert, most of her lightsabers had featured the curved hilt of a dedicated duelist. So, she knew that such a clear, bright crystal would be the perfect focus for her new weapon. But the color…

She was still deliberating the issue when she found herself sitting beside Kreia on the floor of the portside dormitory about a day after they set off for Korriban.

"Something is troubling you," the older woman stated.

"It's silly."

"And yet it weighs heavily on you. Are you still concerned over the fool flying this ship? The murderer who hid the truth from you so that he might receive your affection without revealing his crimes?" Kreia scoffed at the notion. "Pay him no more thought, he's not worth your time."

"It's not Atton. Well, sometimes it is but… Right now, it's this." Opening her palm, Meetra revealed the red crystal shedding a crimson glow across her skin.

"A lightsaber crystal. I assume this means that you'll be constructing a new weapon. Good. It's about time that you fully embraced your return to the Force."

"It… doesn't bother you?"

Taking the item from Meetra's hand, Kreia examined it for a minute before handing it back. "This crystal is of remarkable quality. At least as good as the one that Revan used and then gifted to his lover."

"Carth told you about his pendant?"

Kreia tutted as she shook her head. "Just because my eyes no longer see does not mean I am blind."

"So then, did you know about Atton?" The older woman's terse frown was the only answer that Metra needed. Anger whipped around her as she demanded, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Would you have believed me? Or would I have become the villain and he the victim? No, the truth had to be revealed as the Force willed it so that you could see things objectively. As for the fool, I've long been aware of the way that death clings to him."

Looking down at the item in her palm, Meetra muttered, "Just like this crystal."

"And yet, you don't seem to mind the murderer."

"That's different! Atton is a person. He was still a child when he went to war and he got kriffed up like the rest of us. He wasn't in control of everything that happened to him…"

"And an object is?" Kreia interrupted bluntly. "Droids and blasters and yes, even lightsabers, are tools. Things. They are nothing more and often far less than what their creators allow them to be. Tell me, why do you fear this crystal so much?"

"The only individuals I've ever seen wielding red blades were dark Force users."

"So, you deny what you are?"

"No, I know there's darkness in me. I think it's always been there, but the war brought it to the surface. Every moment I hardened myself to the pain around me and every time that I chose tactics over lives that darkness grew. And after Malachor…" Closing her fist around the crystal Meetra muttered, "I know that darkness will always be a part of me."

"Then why do you fear wielding a red blade? The Cathar had one. The Sith you now keep as a pet used one in her attempt on your life. And yet, you do not seem to fear either of them."

"Juhani is different. Carth told me everything that happened to her and it's tragic. Of course she has darkness in her! And she told me herself that she still uses that blade because it represents who she was when she met Revan. It's a reminder, of sorts."

"And you also want to reclaim who you were when you met the Revanchist. To look at your green blade and remember that you were once a Consular."

"No!" Meetra lowered her head sheepishly. "I mean, it would be nice, but… I don't need to recreate my 'saber from the war. That time is past. I just…"

"You don't want to wield a reminder of what Malachor forged you into. And yet, that reminder is carved into your very being. Malachor is etched across your soul." Closing her hands over the younger woman's, Kreia urged, "Take the crystal. Meditate on its potential and see what you discover."

"I'll do my best." Meetra lapsed into silence as she climbed to her feet and made her way towards the exit. When she reached the door she paused, glancing over her shoulder. "Kreia, did you know Revan?"

"I knew him as much as anyone can know a prodigy who was still a mystery to himself."

Fearing the next answer, Meetra's voice was strained when she asked, "Do you think he's still alive?"

"I think that the man you knew as Revan died long ago and is still being reborn as something more."

The answer was uncomfortably cryptic, though it wasn't a firm 'no.' That fact gave Meetra hope. "Alright, thank you."

Eventually, Meetra found herself wandering through the ship, the damned crystal still clutched in one hand as she moved to check on the rest of the crew. As expected, Bao-Dur was in the garage tinkering at the workbench, a variety of crystals and lightsaber parts scattered across the surface. But she was surprised to find Visas standing patiently beside the Zabrak as he guided her hands with a workman's care, helping her to connect a series of tiny wires and intricate lenses into a 'saber hilt of her own design. They were talking softly as they worked and though their conversation was too hushed to overhear their contentment warmed the Force around them.

Warmth spread through Meetra as she thought about her crewmates building their first lightsabers, the sensation so overwhelming that she almost didn't realize when she stumbled into the main hold. Bastila was there, completely absorbed in her work as she used one of the computers to analyze a terrain map, her lips pursed in concentration as she added various notations and markers. The display showed a desolate valley with craggy peaks and soaring cliffs that were strangely beautiful in their starkness. Though the former Sentinel's presence thrummed with the same determination that she'd demonstrated on Dantooine, her stubborn desire for control had vanished. Maybe Carth was right and Bastila had matured under Revan's tutelage.

That thought was reassuring, especially given their current circumstances, and it lent Meetra strength as she moved towards the cargo hold where the crew's newest addition had found a home. While the door was officially supposed to be guarded at all times, she guessed that nobody saw the need for such measures now that they were in hyperspace. Trying to attack multiple Force-sensitives, including three former Jedi, on a ship with no working navicomputer was nothing less than a suicide mission. Besides, the Sith seemed strangely content on the Hawk. Right now she was stripped down to a thin tunic and leggings as she practiced katas, her muscles flexing powerfully beneath the minimal clothing. Each movement flowed gracefully into the next and it was almost mesmerizing to watch.

Meetra's mind felt calmer as she made her way to the cockpit, her thoughts occupied by the unusual crew that she'd collected these past weeks. Filling the ship had never been her intention and if she was being honest with herself she still wasn't sure why half of them stayed aboard. Even more confusing was the loyalty and respect that shone in everyone's eyes when they looked at her, as though she was something more than a failed Jedi and known murderer. But that trust, as misplaced as it felt, ignited something fierce within her that she thought had been buried on Malachor. Quietly, and not for the first time, she swore to protect this group of outcasts and misfits with her life.

Once within the cockpit, Meetra paused to give T3-M4 a friendly pat, smiling fondly at the happy beeps she received in response. The droid was a loyal friend and she understood why Revan kept the astromech with him despite leaving his other companions behind. The thought of her former commander sobered her as she curled into the copilot's seat, closing her eyes as she tried to release her worries into the Force. Her awareness expanded outward until she could feel the other lifeforms on the ship, each one of them here because of her in one strange way or another. They had made her quest their own and in return, she was determined to support them in any way she could. For some of the crew, this would be easy. But for others…

Turning to look at Atton, Meetra sensed his surprise when he noticed that she'd settled beside him. His expression quickly darkened.

"Coming to check-up on me?"

"No, I just like staring out at hyperspace. It's soothing."

Atton seemed to accept this answer though his presence did extend a bit, probably searching her own for lies. But there weren't any to find. Clearly unsure of what to say, he finally nodded awkwardly at Meetra's clenched fist. "What do you have there?"

"It's just a crystal I found on Dantooine." Frowning at the thought, Meetra wondered, "Why do you still use a yellow blade?"

"You mean versus a red one?" When the answer was confirmed with critical silence, Atton shrugged. "I found my crystal on Ilum when I was only an Initiate. I guess I figured that if I kept using it, I was still a Jedi. It sounds stupid to say that out loud but hey, I never said I was smart. What uh, what color is that one?"

"It's r…" Opening her palm to reveal the item, Meetra's breath caught sharply when she looked down and saw that the crystal was no longer red. Instead, it was an odd shade of pale gray that would probably luminesce silvery-white once inside a lightsaber hilt. "Gray," she corrected. "It's gray."

"Looks more silver to me. Huh. I've never seen anything like that before."

Holding the crystal up to the viewport, Meetra admired the way it shone like a tiny star. "Me neither."

"I guess it's unique, like you."

Though she ignored the compliment, Meetra couldn't help but grin. While this crystal still didn't feel as bright as the green one she'd used during the war, it still felt right. Clutching it to her chest, she enjoyed the warmth that spread through her body as it pulsed in time with her heartbeat.

---

Author's Notes

I'm sorry for disappearing! Life became both frustrating and hectic, and it was healthier for me to pause my writing. Things are beginning to calm down, so I hope to be back with semi-regular updates.

You can find me on Twitter (ergo_maria) and Tumblr (ergomaria).

1. Having Bao Due learn Beast Trick on his own felt appropriate since he's much more attuned to nature than Meetra (who obviously didn't learn the power on Dxun).

2. How did Atton disguise himself for this long? He stated that he was trained by Revan to camouflage his presence. (As a reminder, in No Light without Shadow Vann managed to shield himself from an entire academy full of Force-sensitive individuals for about three days.) Atton also purposely avoided Atris (stalling at the front of her academy, ensuring that she was preoccupied with Meetra by the time he walked further in) and Kavar (fleeing the scene before Meetra approached the Jedi Master). Unfortunately, his luck ran out with Bastila who had been searching for him for over two years, as is mentioned in the epilogue of No Light.

3. If you're wondering about Atton and the gas mine in Ch. 01, Jedi Sentinels aren't immune to poison or stupidity. It surprised him enough that he wasn't able to resist its effects, though he did recover remarkably quickly. (Vann was knocked unconscious by toxins in No Light, specifically kinrath venom.)

4. I always seem to reach the Visas fight before my Exile has a lightsaber. So, the Brianna scene is a bit of a play on that. (Obviously, Brianna and Visas are swapped in this story.)

5. In No Light, Malak mentioned an attack on Eshan by a suspected Sith. In case it's not obvious, that attack was the same one that brought Brianna and her sisters into Nihilus's hands.

6. Meetra mentions in the prologue that she's prone to moving meditation, which is what she ultimately used to cleanse her new crystal (turning it silver). Yes, this is a small reference to Ahsoka Tano.