CHAPTER 08 - RAKATA PRIME

Now (3953)

"This is the Ebon Hawk, requesting permission to land on Rakata Base. We would like to return one Bastila Shan before she starts sorting all of our clothing by color. Over." Atton grinned at the venomous scowl he received.

Carth's chuckle was soft and somewhat static-y as it filtered through the comm unit. "We read you, Ebon Hawk. Permission granted. And I, for one, am glad to hear that you've all made it back safely."

Vann had to bite his knuckle to keep from blurting anything out, the sound of his partner's voice causing a choked gasp to catch in his throat. Nobody had told Carth that he was on the ship, mostly because he ordered them not to. He didn't want to get his partner's hopes up only to be shot down by a squadron of Sith fighters or recaptured by the Emperor at an Outer Rim fueling station. At least, that's what he claimed. In truth, he didn't want the captain to know he was on board because he couldn't deal with the very real potential that the other man never wanted to see him again. It had been two years and he hadn't exactly left on the best terms. It wouldn't surprise him if Carth was angry enough to end their relationship, or had simply moved on with his life.

The Hawk was breaking through the planet's atmosphere, the instruments going silent for a few minutes as everything recalibrated for Rakata Prime. There were some beeps, though nothing notable happened before the ship touched down on the Republic landing pad. The distant sound of crashing surf was audible the moment that the hatch opened to reveal Carth, dressed in his uniform and standing in easy parade rest. He was escorted by Juhani and Jolee, each wearing their own choice of robes that displayed the lightsabers resting at their hips.

It was Bastila who walked out first, warmly embracing the captain as all of the triumphs and losses they'd experienced flowed around them in brilliant waves. "Did you learn anything new?" Hope filled the Carth's voice and he was clearly struggling to keep his expression professional.

"A couple of things." Meetra rested calmly against the Hawk's doorway, her hands tucked into her pockets. "That uniform is a good look, by the way. It's funny, for a while I thought you might be lying about being a Republic captain."

"Well, I wasn't." Gesturing to his red coat with its black accents and matching gloves, Carth forced a laugh. "So, what's this new informa…"

If this was a holovid, Vann would calmly appear silhouetted in the doorway, the proud hero returning from his time in captivity as his lover looked on in admiration. But he'd never been that suave. Instead, he nearly knocked Meetra over when he raced through the exit and down the ramp, only stopping when he suddenly remembered that Carth could be angry instead of pleased at his reappearance. After all, the last huge surprise that he'd sprung on the other man had resulted in a well-deserved punch to the face. He wanted an opportunity to duck this time.

"…Vann?"

Time seemed to stand still as the former mercenary stood awkwardly in front of Carth, struggling to find the right words. All he managed was a helpless shrug as he stared at his partner with unabashed adoration. A mixture of happiness and shame warred within him and he debated rushing over to steal one last kiss before reality inevitably caught up and everything came crashing down. He was about to settle for apologizing repeatedly, maybe mixed with a little groveling, when a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist, enveloping him. As he clung to the captain's shoulders he sighed in relief.

"Is it you? Is it really you?" Carth whispered disbelievingly against his partner's ear before drawing back just a little. "You do remember me, right?"

Vann answered by surging forward and kissing the other man, his fingers digging into the powerful muscles of his partner's back. When their lips finally separated he was breathless, caught somewhere between laughter and sobbing. "Of course I remember you. Unless you're going to punch me for leaving, in which case I have no idea who you are or why I just kissed you."

"I should punch you. I really kriffing should." Instead, Carth kissed him again, deeper this time but no less desperate.

Imagining this moment was what kept Vann alive, even when he was screaming uncontrollably as the Sith Emperor tore the skin from his body and his fragile memories from his mind. When he was left alone, vulnerable and afraid, he clung to thoughts of coming home and the people who awaited him there. That love was what kept him from being overcome by depression and loneliness. He'd gone to Dromund Kaas to save the Republic, but it was Carth and his other friends who had saved him during his captivity.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I left without saying something. Bastila already told me how terrible I am."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Malachor Five. I always forget how strong you are. You're the strongest person I know."

"It's okay. You didn't tell me because I'm also an impulsive kriffing asshole who goes off and tries to save the Republic on my own."

"You're here. You're really here."

Vann was pretty sure that he accidentally knocked Carth's hat off when they kissed again, but he couldn't care less. He hated that stupid thing. All of his attention was focused on the warm, solid body supporting him and the familiar pair of lips moving against his own as a tongue began to tease and taste him. His selfish side felt like he more than deserved this moment after losing nearly everything else, while his more anxious impulses were afraid that this was also going to slip through his fingers at any second. Whining softly, he clung tighter, suddenly afraid to let go.

Someone was insistently clearing their throat just over Vann's left shoulder and he tried to ignore them, at least until Jolee loudly announced, "I'm sure glad there aren't more Sith coming to attack the Republic."

Sighing heavily, Vann reluctantly drew back. It was only when his boots hit the ground that he realized Carth had been holding him up, a subtle reminder of just how physically capable his partner was. Glaring at the older Force user, he grumbled, "I assume Bastila told you everything that Meetra found on Korriban?"

"She reported some of it to the enclave. I also experienced a bit of it firsthand on Dantooine, along with Meetra and several of her allies," Juhani noted as she nodded to the Ebon Hawk's new crew. They were slowly making their way off the ship, reacting with varying levels of amusement to Vann's enthusiastic reunion with Carth.

The former mercenary nodded, still pressed close to his partner. "So, you know about the three Sith Lords that the Emperor has sent to destabilize the Republic?"

"You mentioned that on Korriban, and I already told you that there are only two. Sion and Nihilus." Furrowing her brow, Meetra eyed her friend cautiously.

"No, there's three. I don't know where the other one is, but the Emperor definitely has three agents under his sway. While he tortured me for his own amusement…"

Fingers gripped Vann's shoulder as Carth hissed, "You were tortured?"

"What's a little torture between mortal enemies? It's fine."

Guiltily biting her lip, Bastila muttered, "Your hands kept shaking while you were describing the experience…"

"I'm fine."

"You're lying, but go on." Meetra shook her head sadly. "You always seem to know more than the rest of us combined."

Waving away everyone's concern, Vann explained, "Once the Emperor discovered that I'm fairly resistant to pain, he started prying information directly from my mind. Or trying to, at least. What he didn't realize is that the mental link went both ways and I could catch glimpses into his memories as well. It wasn't a lot, but I learned how to focus my end of our connection so that I could search for what I wanted. Eventually, I discovered that he has three Human Sith under his command. He didn't call them by name, at least not in his mind, but he had titles for them. The Lord of Pain, the Lord of Hunger, and the Lord of Betrayal."

Pausing to consider this information, Meetra mused, "I'm assuming that Sion is the Lord of Pain."

Atton gasped in mock surprise. "The Sith who looks like he sleeps cuddled-up with vibroblades? No way."

"Lord Nihilus used to tell us that his appetite was insatiable. That it's why he consumes worlds." Brianna's presence grew chilled with shame as she confessed, "I believe he must be the Lord of Hunger."

"Which leaves the Lord of Betrayal." Meetra's jaw tensed at the thought.

"Hmm." Kreia had barely been noticeable until now, subtly keeping to the shadows around the Hawk. Vann had seen her a few times during the journey to Rakata Prime, each sighting triggering a faint nagging sensation at the back of his mind as though there was a memory that he couldn't quite grasp. Or one that he was being forced to forget. "Betrayal is one of the oldest and darkest emotions. It is said that, even if we were to purge all other darkness from the galaxy, betrayal would always exist. It lies at the heart of every sentient."

Vann wanted to deny this sentiment but his argument died in his throat as he remembered how he and Malak had betrayed each other during his first visit to Dromund Kaas, and how he had inadvertently betrayed Meetra by ordering the use of the Mass Shadow Generator. They had been his closest friends and allies during the war. If he was capable of turning on them so easily, who was he to say that betrayal didn't exist at everyone's core?

A flicker of reassurance flowed through the bond with Bastila, a connection that he had only reopened once he'd been back on the Hawk for a few days. When Meetra first found him, his mind had been frighteningly tumultuous, something that he didn't want his student to experience. With a thin smile, he sent her back a gentle wave of gratitude, glad to have re-established their link.

"So," Meetra began, also noting her friend's distress. "We know the identities of two of these Sith Lords and that there's a third one out there somewhere. Anything else?"

The uncomfortable silence that descended made the answer obvious. They knew almost nothing about their enemies.

"Well, that's reassuring." Tutting in amusement, Jolee looked at the other members of his enclave. "I hate to remind you of what you've probably already realized and want to forget, but there are other sentients whose hoarded knowledge and stifling fear of the dark side might be useful in this situation."

"The remaining Jedi Masters!" Bastila looked momentarily pleased, only for the expression to fade into embarrassment. "I told Master Vrook that I would keep him apprised of the situation and I completely forgot."

Meetra scoffed. "I honestly don't think he expects to hear from any of us again."

Echoing the former general's sour expression, Vann stated, "I would rather lick a lightsaber than ask for help from Vrook Lamar."

"Always so prideful…" There was admonishment in Kreia's tone, but also a hint of amusement.

Twisting her lips ruefully, Visas whispered, "There's also Master Kavar… and Master Atris."

Vann arched a brow at Meetra. "Are you alright contacting Atris? I kind of recall that she and you had a thing that didn't exactly end well."

"We talked. It didn't go spectacularly but I've moved past mourning what was never meant to be. Obsessing over what could have been is stagnation and leaves no room to grow."

"Are you ready to speak with Atris again?" Carth gave his partner a curious look.

"Ugh, no." Raking both hands through his hair, Vann groaned. "Not after what happened in the archives. And you know what? I bet the Masters don't know any more than we do! This is probably going to be a giant kriffing waste of time."

Sometimes, Vann hated being right. He wondered if his penchant for knowing that certain things would result in a heaping pile of bantha shit was part of being a Force prodigy or if he was simply such a good strategist that he could predict when plans were doomed from the start. After a bit of arguing it was decided that Vann and Meetra would be the only individuals to meet with the Masters. Officially, they had been selected because they had the most experience with both combat tactics and this new Sith threat. Unofficially, it was abundantly clear that nobody else wanted to throw themselves into the rancor pit. The former mercenary couldn't blame them.

Now seated around a table in one of Rakata Base's large conference rooms, he watched as the blue-toned holograms of Atris, Kavar, and Vrook took turns yelling while gesturing emphatically. Most of their tirades were directed at Vann, though Meetra was also earning a good deal of their ire. Carth, as the neutral moderator and only non-Force-sensitive, was mostly ignored.

"This only proves my point yet again," Vrook was ranting, "It was thoughtless and shortsighted of you to lead the Jedi to war! If you had waited patiently like the conservative members of the Council wanted, we could have discovered this Sith Emperor long ago."

"Or we'd all be speaking Mandalorian and enslaved by the Sith Empire." Meetra's expression was placid even as her presence surged coldly with annoyance.

"She has a point." Kavar held up his hand before his fellow Masters could object. "And don't tell me that I have a soft spot for her, because I won't deny it. That has nothing to do with playing favorites and everything to do with the fact that if the Council had been more proactive, we might have uncovered the true power behind the Mandalorians' campaign years before Revan did."

"And acquiring that information was easy, too! All I had to do was defeat Mandalore the Ultimate in single combat."

Sighing at the sarcasm, Kavar scolded, "I'm on your side. And I'm glad to see that you put all of those additional Juyo and Jar'Kai lessons to good use."

Vann didn't know how to respond, considering that he'd forgotten who originally taught him his signature style.

"What I am more curious about is what you discovered on Korriban. If you hadn't been so hasty with your retreat, you could have gathered any number of artifacts or texts that may have revealed the Sith Lords' ultimate goals. Perhaps there were clues hidden in the files at Malak's monstrosity of an academy."

"I'm what they discovered on Korriban, Atris." Gesturing to himself, Vann glared at the Echani Master's hologram. "And I've already explained the Sith's goal. They want to weaken and destabilize the Republic so that the Sith Emperor can swoop in and claim everything for himself. If you're asking for specifics examples, I would think they're pretty obvious to someone as learned as you. First and foremost, the Sith are taking out the Republic's most effective line of defense."

"The Jedi," Meetra murmured.

Nodding Vann continued, "And they're attacking any potentially dangerous planets that weren't already weakened by the Mandalorians."

Realization dawned across Kavar's features. "Like Eshan, a planet of warriors."

"Or Katarr, which had an entire colony of Miraluka who could sense an invasion using the Force." Vrook appeared even more disgruntled than usual.

"Exactly. These Sith are smart. While they serve the Emperor, I don't think he's actively controlling their every move." Vann paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. Much of what he had learned from the Sith Emperor was still a jumble of images and emotions, understandable to him but difficult to parse into words. "From what I could tell here's merely guiding them, directing them towards potential problems."

Atris narrowed her pale eyes. "What makes you think that these new Sith aren't his puppets?"

"For one thing, they're not 'new.' All three embraced the dark side on their own years ago." A tumultuous expression settled on Vann's face as he thought back to his own brief time under the Sith's sway. "The Emperor learned from experience that completely breaking and controlling his subjects doesn't work, at least not from this distance."

"How did he learn that?" Suspicion colored Vrook's words.

"Because it didn't work on Malak and me. While I was on Dromund Kaas, the Emperor tried to access whatever control he had originally had over me, but I'd somehow freed myself from his influence. He…" Shuddering at the memories of the Emperor's torturous experiments, Vann muttered, "He spent some time trying to discover how I broke his control, and in the process, I learned that Malak also slipped free from the Emperor soon after I, er, 'died.'"

Scoffing, Atris glared at the others. "But Malak did destabilize the Republic. It seems he did exactly what he Sith master ordered."

"Yes… and no." Chuckling at the irony of it all, Vann clarified, "As much as I hate to admit it, he didn't destroy planets. He used the military to seize control of them and then fortified what was left against any possible invasion. Brutal? Yes, but also effective."

"You sound like you admire what the Sith did." Vrook appeared thoroughly disgusted.

"I admire seeing my own tactics utilized, Master."

Sensing the increasing tension ripping through the Force, Meetra drew a slow breath. "I think we can all agree that this enclave has fully disclosed what we've learned. Now I believe it's your turn to do the same, Masters."

"Don't think I'm unaware that you stole classified information from my academy." Atris folded her arms into her billowing sleeves. "That alone leads me to believe that any 'good faith' on your part is merely a ploy to acquire Jedi secrets for your own gain."

"My droid…"

Vann glanced at Meetra "He's technically my droid, but go on."

"Tee-Three took that information because you stole my ship…"

"The Hawk is technically my ship."

Rolling her eyes, Meetra waved Vann off before turning back to the Echani Master with a scowl. "You stole the Ebon Hawk and then tried to download Tee-Three's memory without his permission! He retaliated, which is something we were unaware of until after we'd left the academy."

Clearly uninterested in the details of the situation, Vrook declared, "Any theft of information aside, I see no reason to disclose potentially sensitive findings to those who the Order has deemed morally compromised…"

"We don't know any more than you do. In fact, we know significantly less." Kavar merely shrugged at the shocked grumbles from his fellow Masters. "What? It's the truth. Revan and Meetra may not be Jedi, but they've proven themselves the most capable allies that we currently have. The Order is dying and we do not have the high ground, either tactically or morally."

Meetra let out an impressed hum. "Spoken almost like a Consular, Master Kavar."

"I'd like to believe I'm capable of learning from my students."

"So, none of you know anything useful?" Vann waited a few moments just to confirm this fact before snarling, "Well, that's just great. I'm so glad I spent two years being tortured just to come home and learn that the Jedi Order used the time to run and hide from their problems rather than confronting anything head-on. Kriffing Sith hells, it's good to see that some things never change you karking cowards!"

The anger surging beneath Vann's skin was comforting in its familiarity, and he clung to it even though he knew this was the worst possible time to lose his temper. But he'd just confirmed that the past two years had been spent collecting information to save an Order that clearly valued him more dead than alive. As that realization settled cold in his gut, the raw power of his outrage coursed through his body. He heard Carth pointedly hiss between his teeth while making a show out of rubbing his own eyes, the message clear. But Vann couldn't bring himself to care that his irises had turned an eerie shade of yellow, the drastic color shift likely projecting over the comm system.

As though to confirm this, Atris sneered, "It's also good to know that you're as weak and corrupt as ever."

"You've never known a damned thing about me," Vann shot back, his voice shaking with barely controlled rage. Ever since his first conversation with Meetra back on the Hawk, small glimpses of his childhood had been filtering back in disjointed dreams. He often woke gasping for air, his heart hammering as loneliness clawed at his chest.

"I'm just a prodigy that the Council heaped responsibilities onto even though you knew that it was isolating me from the rest of my peers. You gave me extra assignments and encouraged me to do my own research, but you never considered the fact that every new piece of information I absorbed enabled me to see beyond your doctrine and think for myself. And then, when I finally dared to use everything that you made me learn, you told me that I was wrong. That I was too arrogant, too manipulative, and too impulsive. But really, the only thing I've ever been is exactly what the Order made me."

"It's true." Meetra's tone was soft, unlike the firm-yet-comforting hand she placed on her friend's shoulder.

Hearing this confirmation only increased Vann's inner fury. "And while we're at it, can we talk about how you took one of the most talented and promising Consulars that the Order has ever seen and treated her like bantha fodder? All Meetra ever wanted was to do was to help others and create a lasting harmony throughout the galaxy. You're lucky she realized that words don't always work and that direct action is sometimes needed in response to genocide."

"I'm not as gifted as you make me sound." Slender fingers tightened their grip as Meetra's presence was clouded by doubt.

"You and the rest of the Council labeled this brilliant woman as a monster when she acted to save the entire kriffing Republic. Yet, she still had enough faith in the Jedi to return to the Order at her lowest point. And you threw that trust back in her face when you refused to help, all so that you could gloat that the Council was right and the Revanchists were wrong!" Turning away from the holograms projected on the table, Vann made an obscene hand gesture towards the Masters before declaring, "I'm done with this karking farce of a conversation."

Meetra opened her mouth to add something and then paused, her brow furrowing as she clearly debated what to say. When she finally spoke her voice was balanced, but tight with emotion. "Vann is right. We bled for the Republic and you hid behind our sacrifice to earn back the people's trust. You publicly called us heroes even as you privately doubted every choice we made."

"You were so young," Kavar insisted. "We had good reason to doubt your decisions."

"You're right, we were little more than children!" Pain laced each word Meetra spoke, the weight of her memories audible in every syllable. "I was nineteen years old when you gave us permission to join the war effort and twenty when we officially became the Republic Mercy Corps. I wasn't even a Knight, I still needed, the Masters' guidance. But you refused to provide it because you didn't want to take responsibility for who we became. You had an opportunity to guide us, but you declined it."

Bowing his head Vann guiltily admitted, "I tried to guide you and the rest of the Revanchists… but we all saw how that turned out."

"You did the best you could for someone who was still struggling to find your own path. Hells, you were only twenty when they made you a Knight, twenty-one when you realized that the Mandalorians had to be stopped, and twenty-four when you found yourself in charge of a group of Jedi on the cusp of war. You were so young and idealistic that you never realize how hard that task would be…"

"Because Jedi should never go to war," Vrook stated bluntly while staring at the two Force users.

"For once you're entirely right. And now you understand why so many of the Revanchists ceased to be Jedi and found our own codes. War forced us to realize that passion can lead to peace and knowledge can be found through power and strength. Most importantly, we learned that victory can bring about harmony."

Atris sucked in a sharp breath. "Blasphemy!"

"Only to someone who sat safely in the Council chambers while war raged around you. Someone who was willing to let the Republic fall in the name of patience and wisdom even when you felt the agony that filled the Force as the Mandalorians slaughtered people by the millions. If the inability to stand idly by as innocents are murdered makes us blasphemes against the Jedi Order, then we're proud to wear that title."

"We did not stand idly by…"

Kavar interrupted Atris's excuses with a sharp glare. "Yes, we did. That blood is on our hands."

It was unsurprising when the Echani Master disconnected her comm unit with a scoff of disgust. The truly shocking moment came when Kavar and Vrook remained, neither uttering a sound as Meetra continued to speak.

"I abandoned the Jedi Code when I went to war, but at least I did so with good reason. You abandoned me… us… when we needed you the most, all to soothe your wounded pride. And yet, we corrupted individuals are willing to aid your Order in its most desperate hour, not because we love the Jedi but because it's the right thing to do."

"We both died in our own ways to save the galaxy," Vann noted with a heavy note of irony. "For most people, that would be more than enough. But we're heading back into the fray because your asses still need our help. Kinda says something, doesn't it?"

Both Vrook and Kavar said nothing for several long moments, their expressions blank as they avoided eye contact with everyone else in the room. The silence stretched on for so long that Carth began to shift uncomfortably, glancing nervously at the Force users.

It was Kavar who finally broke the quiet as he bowed his head and admitted, "I… I cannot speak for the rest of the Council, but I for one am sorry for not being a better man."

"Don't apologize, Master. As Vann said, words aren't always a solution. Sometimes action is needed. So, if you're truly sorry, act. Help us to beat these Sith. If you don't know how to help, find a way."

Kavar brightened a bit. "I have a few ideas. The first is that you should seek out Master Ell on Nar Shadda. He's a Consular and an expert at uncovering hidden secrets. That's why he chose to search for answers on the Smuggler's Moon."

"I remember Master Ell. He always did seem to know certain things before the rest of the Order. I thought it was the will of the Force, but I'm somewhat glad to learn that his methods are a little less mystical. Thank you."

"No, thank you. Both of you. For the information and for your… continued assistance." Despite his scowl, Vrook's voice lacked its usual venom as he added, "Though, I continue to disapprove of your methods."

"Aw, Vrook. Did it hurt to admit your gratitude?"

"Don't push your luck, young man."

"I've been to Nar Shadda a few times and I have to warn you that it's not going to be easy to find one person in that hive of scum, especially if he doesn't want to be found." Noting his partner's incredulous expression, Carth blinked. "What? I worked as a smuggler for three years."

"You told me that you were just a pilot." Feigning surprise, Vann added, "My mistake!"

"Carth is right, tracking down someone like Master Ell on Nar Shadda will be difficult, but I think I know someone who can help draw him out." A faint smile tugged at the corners of Meetra's mouth as she bowed to the Jedi. "We'll remain in contact, Masters."

Surprisingly, Kavar returned the gesture with just as much respect. "And we'll do the same. If we can't reach your crew, we'll contact the enclave on Rakata."

There were a few more formalities as comm channels were exchanged and contact information was confirmed, though Vann didn't pay much attention to the chatter. This was Carth's area, and he was more than willing to let his partner handle the small details. Instead, his mind was already wandering to the next task at hand, concern churning in his gut. When the connections with Vrook and Kavar were finally closed, he frowned at Meetra.

"I swear to the Force, if you say that your contact for Nar Shadda is Rand…"

"I spent seven years wandering the farthest reaches of the known galaxy. I think it's safe to say that I had time to meet a few shady characters besides Atton."

Worry painted Carth's features as he looked down at his datapad. "Speaking of suspicious individuals, I just received a message that someone arrived on base asking to speak with you, Meetra."

"What? Who?" Worry flared around the blonde. "I can't imagine that anyone else would know that I'm here of all places."

"Well, this isn't suspicious at all. There's no way this can possibly be a trap." Reaching for lightsaber hilts that no longer hung at his hips, Vann asked, "Want me to come with you to meet this probably-a-Sith-assassin?"

"Oh, I've already met one of those. You trained him." Noting her companion's abashed expression, Meetra quickly assured him, "I'm joking. Sort of. In the sense that everything I said is true. But that doesn't mean that I wouldn't appreciate you coming with me to meet…?"

"Apparently it's someone named Mira?"

The meeting happened on the nearby beach, about half a kilometer from the heart of the enclave that had sprung up over the years. This meant that there were at least six Force-users visibly hovering at the periphery, waiting to step in if the situation turned ugly. Vann would have felt bad for Mira if she didn't seem completely unphased by the situation. Leaning casually against the rough trunk of a tall palm tree, she recalibrated her wrist-mounted weapons launcher as she explained the complexities of this particular situation.

"So, let me get this straight. You're a bounty hunter who was contracted to capture Meetra, but instead of completing the contract you tracked her all the way here just to warn her that other hunters might be after her?" Vann rubbed his temple as he fought off a growing headache.

"I mean, if you really want to oversimplify things, that about covers it."

"You said that the Exchange gave the contract to all of the bounty hunters on Nar Shadda? Who are they and why are they so interested in me?"

"The Exchange is an extremely wealthy criminal organization that operates throughout the galaxy. They have multiple branches, many of which function independently from each other." Attempting to laugh off Meetra's curious gaze, Vann admitted, "I, uh, did some mercenary work for them in the past."

Mira squinted as she peered at Vann and then let out an impressed whistle. "Chis, right? I thought you looked familiar. Never dreamed that I'd get to meet someone with your reputation on friendly terms if you know what I mean."

The awkwardness increased when Meetra arched a brow and gave the former mercenary a sly little half-smile that was equal parts amused and too smug for her own damn good. The knowingness in her gaze made him squirm and it was a relief when Atton's voice broke into the conversation. Or, it would have been if the former assassin's approach hadn't been so eerily quiet that nobody noticed his presence until he spoke.

"The Exchange also has a history of working with the Sith. Malak used them for several jobs during his reign, so I wouldn't be surprised if these new Sith are doing the same thing."

"Well, that would make sense in all of the worst ways." Meetra frowned as she considered the new information. "I think the real question is why you're giving me a warning rather than jabbing me with a stun baton and dragging me in for the bounty."

"For one thing, I prefer to use a Bothan stunner. For another, you're more valuable to me than the credits the Exchange is offering." A calculating glint passed through Mira's hazel eyes. "I respect my targets. More importantly, I respect what they can do for me. I have an old score to settle with someone who's after you, and the way I see it we can help each other with our respective problems."

Arching a brow, Meetra glanced around to gauge the others' reactions. "What did you have in mind?"

"I can help you avoid the other hunters who are on your tail…"

"Oh great, how many are there?"

Mira scoffed at Atton's exasperated groan, clearly feeling that he was asking the wrong question. "But if I help you, then you have to give me a hand dealing with one specific nerf brain."

Meetra fell still for a few moments before nodding. "That sounds fair enough, especially since we need to search Nar Shadda as quickly as possible and that will be a lot easier to do if we're not beating back bounty hunters. Just one question… Who exactly are we helping you deal with?"

"Does it matter? You seem like someone who can handle herself in any type of situation, at least if that lightsaber is more than just show. But alright, I'll lay my full side deck on the table. It's a Wookiee named Hanharr who's been chasing me for years. I'm sick of it and it's interfering with my work, especially since he's dangerous enough to throw just about any situation into chaos. Get him off my ass and we'll call this thing even."

Narrowing his eyes, Atton demanded, "Alright, what's the catch? There's always a catch to these things."

"No catch. Just one big, murderous carpet who needs a good ass-kicking. Look, I'm the best bounty hunter on Nar Shadda. But I'm also honest…"

"Don't forget modest," Vann noted with a chuckle.

"When I make a deal, I stay true to my word. It's how I was raised."

The gaping void that reflected Meetra's renewed connection to the Force shivered as she extended her presence, her awareness seeping out like a bleeding wound. It was a disconcerting sensation, though not entirely unpleasant. While the scars of Malachor echoed through everything that she did, beneath them flowed the thrum of raw power. Even without asking, Vann knew what his friend was checking the bounty hunter's words for any thread of a lie, just like he was. And, like him, she sensed nothing but brutal honesty. It was obvious in the way her lips curled into a thin but genuine smile as she nodded to the other woman and extended her hand to seal the arrangement.

"It seems like we have ourselves a deal."

"Great!" With a near-feral grin, Mira reached past Meetra's hand and firmly grabbed the other woman's forearm, giving it two shakes before using the leverage to pull the blonde closer so that she could deliver a hard clap to the other woman's shoulder.

Atton grimaced. "My first instinct is to say that this is a horrible idea that can only end badly. But I said the same thing about the handmaid… er, Brianna, and that actually turned out well."

As he watched Meetra laugh at some joke Mira was telling her, Vann felt a pang of nostalgia. "She has a habit of inspiring loyalty in people. I think it's because she brings out the good in them."

"Even you?"

Unsure how to answer the younger man's question, Vann half-heartedly shrugged as he desperately wracked his scattered memories for a clue. From the little he could recall, he'd been the one to bring out all of Meetra's worst qualities when he led her to war and exposed her to all of the atrocities that came with it. He had encouraged her to shed the Jedi's teachings and embrace her own darkness, ultimately providing her with the strength to destroy two fleets and an entire planet. Maybe she couldn't bring out the good in him because there was nothing good to find.

"If I bring out the best in others, it's only because I had an excellent commander who set a good example." Meetra smiled softly, her presence attempting to push past the doubt that was rapidly forming. "And before you try to deny it, I'm pretty sure there's an entire beach full of people who will agree with me."

"Yeah, well…" Anxious to change the topic, Vann grumbled, "It seems like you're all set. You have your crew and my ship, and once you located Ell on Nar Shadda you might actually figure out what these Sith and their Emperor are planning. You did good work. I'm glad someone was able to clean up my mess."

Urgency filled Meetra's voice. "Come with us. This is your mission, not mine. My crew went out to discover the source of the Jedi deaths and to locate Revan. We did that. Our next job should be to assist you."

"In case you haven't noticed, her crew is composed of two Force novices, a former Sith apprentice, a woman who's older than dirt, a bounty hunter, and me." Despite his humor, there was no disguising the awe in Atton's voice as he grinned sheepishly at his former commander. "We can use all the help we can get."

"After everything I did, you honestly want me to travel with you?"

It was Meetra's turn to shrug. "Can't hurt. We made a pretty good team during the war."

"We blew-up a karking planet!"

"We successfully blew-up a planet." Noting the tension that was building, Meetra sobered as she quietly added, "And I sense that we've both grown since then. Come with us, Vann. See this through to the end."

The former mercenary closed his eyes and drew a long breath. He could smell the salt in the air and hear the familiar calls of seabirds as they flew over the crashing waves. All of these things meant home, a precious place that he'd yearned for during his time in captivity. There was nowhere else in the galaxy that he'd rather be. But Meetra was right. This was his mission and he had to finish what he started. "Kriff," he chuckled humorlessly. "Carth is going to kill me for leaving again."

Sympathy shone in Meetra's gaze. "I'll explain things to Carth. Maybe I can make him understand why you need to do this. He's a Republic Captain, he must know the complexities of war."

"Carth is a brave man. And despite everything he's been through, he's still a good man. That's why he won't understand that I have to go. This isn't about strategy or combat tactics. It's, it's…"

"This is about sacrifice. About accepting lesser evils to prevent greater horrors. It's about letting in just enough darkness to make the light shine that much brighter." Meetra's words finished Vann's thoughts so perfectly that it felt like they'd come from his own mouth. For the first time since rediscovering his identity, he knew that someone understood the burden he'd been given. "Go. Get whatever you need. I'll try to explain things to Carth."

Packing was oddly simple. Aside from clothing, all of the supplies that Vann wanted were already stowed on the Ebon Hawk and besides, he preferred to travel light. There were only two things that he really needed from Rakata, which is how he found himself standing at the workbench tucked into the corner of the apartment that he and Carth shared. In his absence, someone had moved his assorted projects off to the side, but the various parts he'd left behind remained mostly untouched. That made it easy to locate the lightsaber hilts that he'd started constructing before his departure.

The design was different from his previous weapons, the form partially inspired by his hazy dreams of the Sith Emperor's palace with its sharp arches and towering pillars. Four additional strips of metal swept out from the grip and extended past the emitter, each one ending in a point that would frame the blade when it was ignited. But a few significant modifications were needed before he could set the crystals. He was using the Force to affix the last lens when a shout nearly caused him to drop the components he was mentally holding aloft.

"Meetra told me you're leaving again. Dammit Vann, we just found you! I just got you back!"

Waving his hands to snap the lightsaber's outer casing into place before laying it on the bench, the former mercenary turned to face his partner. "Did she explain why I have to go?"

"Yes, not that I understood half of it. And honestly? I want to hear it from you." Carth pressed into the other man's space. "Tell me to my face why you're leaving again. Explain why you feel a constant need to go off and…"

"Because I have to! Because there's someone out there threatening everything and everyone we care about and I might be the only one who can stop him!"

"Why you? There are hundreds of other Force users in the galaxy, close to a dozen of them currently on this very planet." Gesturing to the beach beyond the Republic base, Carth pleaded, "Why can't one of them do it? Why not Meetra, or Bastila, or…"

"Because I'm Revan! I'm the bastard who went to war to save the Republic and then traveled into Unknown Space searching for answers. I'm the one who dared to stand up to the Mandalorians and the Sith. I was willing to fall. Hells, I was willing to die. And I'm the only person in the entire kriffing galaxy who has the strength, skill, and knowledge to do it all again!"

"Are you Revan? You told me in that holovid you left with Canderous that Revan is gone and you're just some Outer Rim mercenary."

"Well, I was wrong. It wouldn't be the first time!" By now they were both yelling in frustration. Even without extending his awareness Vann could feel the hurt pouring off of Carth at the mention of the farewell message that the new Mand'alor had delivered. He ran one hand through his hair as he drew a shaky breath and attempted to rein in his temper. "I might not remember everything about my past and I might not feel like the hero of the Republic, but Revan is still part of who I am. And if you don't… Wait. Why are you smiling? Stop smiling, it's creeping me out."

But the amused grin tugging at the corners of Carth's mouth only grew as he reached out to cup Vann's cheek. "When we first met, you were one of the most confident people I'd ever seen. I'm sure some of that was just for show, but that didn't change the fact that whenever you talked I wanted to listen. After the Leviathan and the Star Forge… that confidence vanished. But it sounds like you found it again."

"And all it took was being imprisoned by my mortal enemy!" Noting his partner's grimace Vann pressed closer, wrapping his arms around the other man's waist. "I'm kidding. It was honestly Meetra who told me that I'm not all that different from the Jedi she knew."

"She does have a way with words. I'm glad that you two found each other again, and that you can work together to deal with this new threat."

So… does this mean that you're glad I'm leaving?"

"No! I'm extremely worried. But if this is something that you really feel that you need to do, I'm not going to stop you."

Chuckling against the other man's ear, Vann challenged, "You couldn't stop me if you tried."

"There's nobody in the galaxy who can stop you once you set your mind to something. Though, you'll be even more effective with a working pair of 'sabers." Noting the hilts resting on the workbench, Carth reached for the crystal hanging beneath his shirt. "Are you going to need this back…?"

"No, I want you to keep that. I actually bought a pair of crystals from an old acquaintance a few weeks before I left for Coruscant. He said that he found them in the ruins of Exar Kun's stronghold on Yavin Four. I thought he was lying and trying to drive up the price until I actually held them." Retrieving a small metal box that was buried beneath a pile of circuit boards and wires, Vann sucked in a sharp breath as he opened the lid. Inside lay two crystals, both more rectangular in structure than the one he'd gifted to Carth. They glowed softly from within their nest of black cloth, each one producing a unique hum as they sent pulses of energy into the surrounding Force.

"I've never felt anything like them. Even if they weren't forged in Kun's war, they're still touched by the Force in a way that I can't explain. It's like holding the heart of the galaxy in my palm. Before I left, I decided to build custom hilts for them. I'm not sure why…"

"Because you couldn't sleep and started tinkering to pass the time."

Ignoring Carth's sarcasm Vann gently removed both crystals, taking a moment to examine each one before placing them on the workbench. Focusing his power, he used the Force to carefully separate the parts of one hilt, peeling back layers until the crystal chamber was revealed. Setting the new crystal was surprisingly complicated due to its unusual size and shape, but it was eventually aligned with the other components. With a satisfied sigh, he replaced the outer casing and prepared to start the procedure all over again.

Carth watched the process with rapt fascination even though he'd seen it dozens of times before. Somehow, he still managed to look genuinely impressed as the second hilt was finished, waiting with bated breath as the twin weapons were wielded for the first time.

"Well, here it goes. Let's hope I did this right or we're in for one hells of an explosion." Vann was mostly joking but he didn't bother to hide his relief when the new blades ignited with a flawless snap, one glowing fiery orange while the other luminesced a more tranquil cyan. Giving them an experimental swing, he flowed into the opening moves of Juyo, relishing the feel of his signature fighting style. The lightsabers hummed softly, both crystals resonating with his own Force signature. As he completed the final kata he twirled the weapons before extinguishing them, the hilts pressing comfortingly against his palms.

"Wow." Carth's admiration flared around him as he nodded in approval, though his mood was growing uncertain. "So, it looks like you have everything you need. I guess all that's left is goodbye?"

"We won't be leaving for at least half a day. Meetra still has to wrangle her crew away from the rest of the enclave."

This seemed to improve Carth's spirits. Pressing against Vann's back, he wrapped his arms around his partner's waist and trailed gentle kisses just behind his left ear. "Does that mean we still have some time together?" To emphasize the point, the captain ran one hand over the sharp jut of the other man's hip before moving it to cup the swell of his backside.

Laying his new weapons on the workbench, Vann gave the captain a sly grin as he turned around and draped his arms across his partner's broad shoulders. "I just want to make sure I'm reading this situation correctly. You're touching my ass which means you're talking about sex, right?"

"Stars I missed you." With a playful chuckle, Carth leaned in for a deep kiss that ended with him sucking lightly on the former mercenary's lower lip. "And yes, I mean sex."

"Good. I was worried you wanted to sit and keep discussing things."

"Well, we still can if you're not in the mood for anything else…?"

It was an honest question. While Vann was usually enthusiastic about their sex life, there were times when no amount of foreplay could cut through his stress, anxiety, or occasional disinterest. But today he could already feel a tingle of anticipation running through his body as heat pooled low in his stomach. "Nope, I'm good to go. Let's do this!"

With a laugh of appreciation, Carth nudged his partner towards the bedroom between kisses, both of them shedding clothing as they went. It was only when they were sprawled across the bed, Vann straddling the captain's thighs as he gently nipped at the strong line of the other man's neck, that they both paused.

Calloused fingers gently brushed back a few strands of hair that had come loose from Vann's ponytail. "I… I know that you can't promise me you're coming home."

"Shh." Vann silenced any further worries with another kiss before sending a mild shove through the Force, pushing the captain back onto the mattress. "Sex now, talking later," he ordered as he descended with a salacious smirk.

Later inevitably came as the afterglow faded and sweat cooled on their skin, reality settling uncomfortably around them. As they lay facing each other, foreheads touching, Vann sighed. "I'll do everything I can to make it back. And at least this time I'm not alone. Meetra will be with me along with the rest of her crew…" He winced. "Actually, that's probably not a comforting thought. Forget I said that."

"I've met a lot of her crew and I trust them. You should too." Pressing a kiss to the bridge of his partner's nose, Carth murmured, "While you're at it, trust yourself."

"I'll try." Shivering slightly, Vann burrowed his face into the crook of the other man's neck as he whispered, "I love you."

He felt more than heard Carth's hushed, though fierce response. "Never forget that I love you too."

"It looks like you're ready to set a course for Nar Shadda… Even if most of your crew seem reluctant to leave," Vann observed, arching a brow.

"They like it here. Your enclave has been good for them."

"It's not really my enclave…" Already desperate to change the subject, Vann hurriedly asked, "Hey, where's the old woman? What was her name…?"

"Kreia."

Something about Meetra's tone made Vann wince guiltily. "Did I know here?"

"Hmm? No. I don't think that anybody in the history of the galaxy has ever truly known her."

"That's cryptic."

"So was she." Sadness welled around Meetra and she turned her face toward the sky. "And she won't be coming with us. She left the planet on a small supply shuttle just after sunrise."

"Why? I thought she was your teacher."

"Me too. But she told me yesterday that in my current state there was nothing more that I could learn from her. Apparently, the lessons to come will be my hardest yet and I won't be able to fully embrace them until I accept that there are far too many eyes that I must see through before mine are truly open."

"Huh. She sounds…"

"Wise?"

Vann snorted. "Not the word I was going to use. But sure, we can go with that. Did she leave you a comm signal or any other way to get in contact if you ever want to talk to her again?"

"She said that if I want to find her I should look to the Force. She also seemed certain that we'll meet again when the time is right."

"Are you sure she wasn't a Jedi?"

"No. I'm really not sure of anything about her. I thought that she would be the one to help me understand everything that's happening, from the attacking Sith to my new connection with the Force." Swallowing the lump in her throat, Meetra clenched her jaw as utter disappointment chilled the surrounding Force. "But now she's gone, right as things are more complicated than ever."

"She may be gone, but there are so many other sentients willing to help you sort through this mess. You have your students and the rest of your crew." Heaving a sarcastic sigh, Vann conceded, "I'll even let you count my droid as one of them."

"Why, thank you."

Sobering, Vann turned to face the blonde as he sent out what he hoped was a burst of reassurance. "Carth, Bastila, and Mand'alor are also here for you if you need them."

"And I have you."

Laughing off the compliment, Vann muttered, "I'm not sure if I should congratulate you or apologize."

"A little of both seems appropriate." Meetra managed a thin smile as she threw herself against her friend's chest and hugged him tightly. "Either way, I'm glad you're here."

Though the sadness was fading, a sharp sense of concern lingered. "You're worried."

"It's nothing. Well, nothing serious. Kreia just… she said one last thing before she left. She told me that whatever's coming next will prove that there are no limits to how far a Jedi can fall so that they might rise to meet every challenge."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not sure." Meetra's eyes slide to the side, suggesting that she had her suspicions. "But I'm positive we're going to find out."

The implication sent a shudder down Vann's spine as he thought about the violent tendencies that sometimes overtook him. When he gave in, the bloodshed that ensued was horrifying. While he still wasn't positive if he'd truly fallen during the war, he knew that as Revan he'd embraced all of the dark impulses that he currently struggled to control. Sometimes he worried that he was teetering on the edge of something dangerous and that the right catalyst would push him into a place so distant from the light that he'd never be able to find his way back.

The former mercenary was still worrying about what his future might hold when Atton came strolling up waving a deck of cards.

"Now that we're heading for Nar Shadda, you have to let me teach you how to play pazaak."

"Huh. Maybe I will if we're not too busy with other tasks." A flirty note entered Meetra's voice as she pointed out, "After all, aren't you the one who's going to be flying us there?"

Atton waved off the concern with a playful grin as he pressed close enough that their arms brushed. "Most of the trip will be through hyperspace where the ship practically steers itself. Don't worry, we'll have plenty of time."

"We'll see…" Placing a hand on the small of her crewmate's back, Meetra gave him a teasing push towards the Hawk. "Now go help Tee-Three set our course. The rest of the crew is already on board and we'll be there in a minute."

With a longing glance over his shoulder, Atton departed, wearing an absolutely smitten smile. The attraction was so obvious that even Vann could see the signs and he groaned sarcastically at their antics.

"Take it from me, it's a terrible idea to sleep with your pilot." Meetra just gave her friend an exasperated look as she also headed for the ship. He chased after, grumbling, "What? I'm being serious! Carth isn't my pilot, he's the Republic's pilot. I just borrow him from time to time."

"Very funny." Despite her deadpan tone, the blonde couldn't hold back an amused chuckle.

"Hey, I thought so."

The pair marched up the Ebon Hawk's boarding ramp side-by-side. Something was comforting about the rhythm of their steps and the faint swing of their lightsabers as they moved, familiar in a way that Vann couldn't quite identify, but it still helped to soothe his anxieties about the task that lay ahead. They had already proven that together, they could face almost anything.

Author's Notes

Thank you for reading. Comments and constructive criticism are always appreciated!

You can find me on Twitter (ergo_maria) and Tumblr (ergomaria). Feel free to say "hi" or ask me any questions.

1. The last "surprise" that Vann sprung on Carth was the double-cross where the former pretended to turn on his crew in order to get Bastila (who was still aligned with Malak) to sneak him onto the Star Forge. It worked, but his acting was a little too convincing for his partner's taste.

2. Vann and Meetra's conversation with the Jedi Masters was complicated to write because I wanted the characters to express some of the themes and emotions that aren't addressed in the game, all while keeping the tone true to the source material. I didn't want perfect absolution, but I did want some catharsis.

3. There was a running joke in the beginning of No Light without Shadow in which Carth kept insisting that he wasn't a smuggler despite Vann's certainty that he was.

4. In No Light without Shadows, Vann mentions that his ethics as a mercenary were questionable at best. He had a reputation of taking almost any job and handling it with brutal efficiency.

5. Kreia's departure was also complex since it's so different from the game. Obviously, she'll be back later.