I didn't plan on posting twice today, but I'm excited I was able to! My fingers are crossed that I get some feedback from this latest chapter (and the last one). Because otherwise, I have no idea who Jess is headed down the road with. Does anyone have an opinion?
"What was that?" Jay demanded as soon as Ruzek came back to the bullpen.
Ruzek held his hands up again. "Nothing, man. I bumped into her. Didn't know it was your sister." He kept walking toward his own desk.
Jay started toward him. Erin quickly got up from her own desk and laid a hand on Jay's shoulder. "Jay, let's get some air. Take a break."
"I don't need air," he said without taking his eyes off Ruzek. "What I need is to know why Ruzek was manhandling my baby sister."
Ruzek ignored him, turning on his computer. "I'm going to update my CI files. Way behind on that."
Jay gave him a hard shove on the shoulder. Ruzek jumped out of his chair, but didn't strike back.
Olinsky was between them in a heartbeat. Kevin and Burgess nearby and ready.
Dawson approached Jay calmly. "Jay, there's no need for this."
"You're going to tell me why you seemed so familiar with Jess. You had an awful lot to talk about for someone who just bumped into a stranger on the stairs."
Ruzek shook his head and shoved his hands in his back pockets. "There's nothing to tell, Jay."
It was the wrong answer. Jay lunged forward. Kevin caught him by the arms and held him back.
"Hey!" Voight's raspy yell brought everyone to a standstill. He stood in the doorway of his office. He looked at the scene in front of him. "Halstead," he called and went back in his office, expecting Jay to follow without question.
Jay stared hard at Ruzek. Ruzek shook his head, no guilt on his face. With a sound of frustration, Jay turned and went to Voight's office.
"Close the door," Voight said, leaning back in his desk chair.
Jay closed the door then took the seat across from the desk that Voight nodded to.
"You want to tell me why I've got my detectives brawling in my bullpen?"
"It's under control," Jay said tightly.
"That was under control?" Voight said, eyebrows raising slightly.
"It won't happen again, Sarge," Jay finally said. "It's a personal thing between me and Ruzek."
Voight watched him without moving. He let the moment drag. When Jay finally fidgeted slightly, he spoke. "The thing is, Halstead, it's not personal when it's affecting my team. So what we're going to do, is you're going to tell me what's going on. Otherwise you're taking furlough and getting this personal matter straightened out on your own time."
Jay took a deep breath. He nodded. "My sister just got back. Afghanistan. It's…" He paused, his jaw working. "It's not going well. She's struggling."
Voight nodded. "And you're going to fix her?"
Jay's eyes snapped to meet Voight's directly. "I've been where she is. I'm not going to let her down."
Voight leaned forward. "And if she doesn't let you help her?"
"She's my sister." Jay bit out the words precisely. "I'm not failing."
"Alright," Voight said. "But you tell your team, you tell me, what you need. She's your family and that means she's one of us."
Jay nodded, uncomfortable with the knot in his throat. Voight motioned toward the door and Jay took his cue to exit.
Erin was waiting for him. "What was that with Ruzek?"
Jay shook his head. "It was nothing."
She fell into step with him and followed him to the break room. She leaned against the counter while he poured a cup of coffee.
"Do you want to take a ride? Make sure she got back to your dad's alright?"
Jay set down his mug of coffee and breathed out a sigh. "Yes."
#
Jess sank back in the café booth. She opened her messenger bag and took out her phone. She passed it from one hand to the other, lost in thought. She didn't have anyone to call. She didn't have anywhere to be. Nothing in her life was meaningful anymore.
She started to reach for her pocket before remembering it was empty. She thought of Adam. He had no idea the demons she was using those pills to fight. If he did, there was no way he would have got rid of them, even if he was a cop.
She shoved her phone back in her bag and dropped her head into her hands.
"Can I sit?"
Jess startled up at the voice.
Jay's friend Mouse stood next to the booth, waiting for her answer.
Jess reluctantly pulled her bag closer to her, a subtle invitation for him to join her.
Mouse sat across from her. "I heard you stopped by the precinct this morning."
Jess didn't answer.
"It didn't sound like it went well." Mouse waited for her to say something, his face open, friendly.
"Nothing is going well," Jess finally answered.
"Yeah. I remember that transition out. It's not good. It wasn't good for Jay. I made the first part of the discharge ok because I had to hold it together, to get Jay home. Once he was home, things sort of fell apart."
Jess finally met his eyes. "Did you…" she didn't say it. She didn't even know what part of the mess she wanted to ask him about.
"Probably," he said, answering all her scenarios succinctly. He tapped a finger on the table rhythmically. "So did Jay."
At the mention again of Jay, Jess' face closed off. She sat back. "Did he send you to find me?"
"Nah. I pinged your phone." Mouse gave her a crooked grin.
Jess couldn't help herself. She felt a small smile tug at her lips.
"You want to order?" Mouse asked, reaching for a menu. "I could use some fries."
#
Jess couldn't remember the last time she felt so lighthearted. She laughed at Mouse's story about his first introduction to Erin.
"So she's used to meeting the people in Jay's life that just can't seem to get their act together?" she said, her smile growing serious.
Mouse put his car in park in front of her dad's house. "Erin doesn't see people that way. She holds out a lot of hope for people who seem lost."
Jess looked down at her hands.
"So does Jay," Mouse added.
Jess' smile was completely gone. "They're bound to be disappointed."
"They don't have to be."
Jess let out a doubtful laugh. She opened her car door. "Thanks for today." She met his eyes again and hoped he could see what she wasn't able to say.
"Anytime," he said. He reached into the console and took out a card and a pen. Scribbling his cell phone number on it, he handed it to her. "Anytime," he said again, making sure she was looking at him and understood he meant it.
Jess slipped the business card into her pocket and got out of the car. She jogged up the porch steps and unlocked the door. Before going in, she turned to wave to Mouse and watched him drive away.
She hesitated in the doorway. The silence in the house was palpable. Her dad wasn't home yet. She saw the light on the answering machine blinking at a pace that alerted her to several missed calls. Probably messages that were repeats of the ones she had ignored on her own phone. Jay and Will checking in. Wanting to know where she was. If she was ok.
Jess tried for a smile and managed a slight one. Mouse had told her she could do this. She took a deep breath and ignored the lengthening shadows. She could do this. Tonight she wouldn't take anything to help her sleep. She'd keep the gun in her closet, not under her pillow.
Tonight was a new start. She had to make it a new start.