Thanks for the feedback, guys!
Don't worry, Kathleen- there are plenty of setbacks still coming for Jess. (And for Jay).
Guest- I hadn't thought of Adam supporting Jay, but I'm intrigued by that idea!
I'm so curious as to whether there's anyone cheering for Jess and Mouse. I don't have any promises about who she's going to end up with. But I think there may be some wavering back and forth along the way.
Jay reached for his phone. Erin laid her hand over his.
"She's not answering, Jay. She doesn't want to talk." Her words were quiet, but firm enough to carry over the conversation that filled Molly's around them.
Jay shook his head. "She doesn't know what she wants. What she needs."
"And you do?"
The words grated on him. A repeat of his conversation with Voight earlier. It wasn't the words that bothered him. It was the truth behind them. He didn't know what his sister needed. He didn't know how to help her.
Mouse approached their table. He held up a pitcher of beer. "You got room for a third wheel?"
Erin smiled and used her foot to move out the stool next to hers. "If you don't mind drinking with a very, very moody Detective Halstead."
Jay ignored her, tapping a text into his phone. Erin sighed.
"You buying, Mouse?" Kevin asked, coming up to the table. Ruzek came up behind him.
"You know what?" Erin said. "I've got this round." She took Jay's phone from his hands and slid it into her pocket. She raised her eyebrow, daring him to challenge her.
Jay closed his mouth, thinking better of what he was about to say. He picked up his beer glass and took a long drink. Erin headed for the bar.
"Your sister coming tonight?" Kevin asked.
Jay took another drink.
"Ok," Kevin said. "None of my business. That's cool." He picked up his own beer to cover the awkward silence at the table.
Jay looked over at Ruzek and his eyes narrowed. Ruzek took a drink of his beer. Before he could respond, Erin came back carrying a tray of shots.
She picked one up. "Let's drink to Jess. She's home, she's safe, and she'll find her way." She spoke to the entire table, but kept her eyes on Jay. She silently promised that she was on his side. That she was with him.
"I'll drink to that. To Jess and finding her way," Mouse said, lifting his own glass.
Ruzek lifted one, but didn't say anything. He glanced down at his phone, vibrating with a call. He set the glass down. He hit the green call answer button as he walked away from the table.
"Hey, Detective Ruzek?"
"Yeah. What's up Danny?" Ruzek glanced behind him to make sure no one at the table could overhear his conversation with his CI.
"You said to call if I had that girl come around trying to buy anything. She came over tonight."
Ruzek tried to keep the disappointment from dropping in. He had known this was going to happen.
"Thanks, Danny," he said. "Lunch is on me next week." He ended the call and stood still. Now he had to figure out what to do with the information he had.
#
Jess sat on her bed. A bottle of pills in one hand and Mouse's card in the other.
She had been so hopeful after spending an afternoon with her brother's friend. And then the sun had set. She had paced the house, checking locks, jumping at noises. When she heard footsteps on the porch, she had nearly gone to get her gun. And when she realized it was just her dad, she had stood next to the front door trying to get her breathing back under control, fighting against the flashbacks that pressed in. Her dad had settled into his armchair like he didn't notice his daughter falling to pieces in front of him. That's when Jess had gone to find something to get her through the night.
Mouse had said he had struggled when he came home. It took him time to get his life together. She turned the card over and looked at the number scrawled there. She absentmindedly shook the bottle of pills. 10 pills. Not very many. Enough for a couple days. Maybe three.
Mouse had also said Jay struggled. But there was no way. No way Jay had stayed awake for three days straight because he was so scared of facing the nightmares that came every night. No way he had to sleep with a gun under his pillow. No way he had to leave crowded rooms because they were too threatening and you never knew who was an enemy. No, her big brother was strong. Fearless.
Not like her.
Jess crumpled the card and dropped it on the floor. She twisted the top off the bottle.
She shook three pills into the palm of her hand. And she stared at them.
#
Ruzek paced the floor of his apartment. He looked at his car keys on the counter. Decision made, he grabbed them and headed for the door.
He swung it open to find Halstead's sister standing there.
She looked up at him, her big blue eyes bigger and bluer when they were opened in surprise.
"Hey," he said.
She didn't answer. She finally looked away and shook her head, he could see her talking herself out of whatever she had planned to say. He looked down at her hands. They shook.
"Come on in," he said softly. He opened the door wider.
She came in, careful not to brush against him as she walked past.
Ruzek closed the door quietly and motioned toward the living room. Jess followed him, but didn't sit when he offered. She looked anywhere but at him.
"I, um…" her voice was strained. She reached in her pocket and pulled out a pill bottle. The one Danny had sold her.
She passed it from one hand to the other, fidgeting.
Ruzek didn't say anything. He stayed still, waiting without pushing.
Finally Jess thrust the bottle holding 10 pills toward him. "Can you…?"
"Yeah, yeah, I've got it." Ruzek took it from her.
"Thanks," she whispered.
Ruzek tried to pretend he didn't notice the dark circles under her eyes. Or the trembling when she tucked a stray curl behind her ear. He just waited.
"I can't be alone tonight," she finally said, lifting her eyes to him. They were haunted. "I didn't know where else to go, but I can't…" her words caught on a sob.
Ruzek moved toward her then. As another sob came out he wrapped his arms around her. Her sobs broke her then. They shook her and Ruzek held her tightly.
#
Jess couldn't hold back the tears. They tore at her and she couldn't stop it. She leaned against Adam, the storm too much to fight alone. She gave up and let him hold her as the tears came.
She clung to him, a lifeline to hold to, to keep her from being pulled under. Everything was too much. Too big to handle on her own.
"Sshhh. I've got you, darlin'. You're safe here."
Adam's quiet words were spoken against her hair, finally getting through to her.
She wanted to tell him she wasn't safe anywhere. She took a shuddering breath.
The warmth of Adam's hands registered. He had one holding her against him, the other cradling the back of her head. She closed her eyes and relished the closeness of someone.
But just someone. Not a friend. Definitely not a boyfriend. Just a stranger who brought her home.
And her protective older brother's coworker.
Jess pulled back and Adam immediately let her go. Her grief showed on his face. She had to look away. He shouldn't be sharing her pain. She shouldn't be making him.
"I'm sorry," she said, her voice raw from the tears.
Adam shook his head. His eyes were warm, worried. "I'm glad you came."
Jess quickly shook her head. She tried to wipe the trails of tears from her face. She tried to scrub the display of her weakness away. "I shouldn't have come here." She took a step away from him.
"Stay," he said. "Just for the night. I'll sleep on the couch."
Jess didn't want to hesitate. She should go. She didn't know what had possessed her to show up on a stranger's doorstep.
"It's ok," Adam reassured her.
That wasn't true. She knew exactly what had come over her. She didn't want to be alone. She wanted to be with the guy who had stayed up all night sitting next to her because he was worried about her. But who didn't push her. Didn't pressure her to talk and to get her problems fixed.
"I just can't go back to my dad's tonight," she said. "I can't be there."
"It's ok," Adam said again. "You can stay here."
Jess took a deep breath. She thought about her room at home. The trophies she had won on the track team in high school mocking her, reminding her she wasn't winning at anything anymore. The empty seats at the table where her mom should be. Where her dad sat without talking to her.
All the silence. All the shadows.
"Just stay for tonight," Adam said.
Jess nodded.
#