I hope this is a fun read for everyone! Thanks so much for all the follows and reviews! I love hearing who everyone is cheering for- Mouse or Ruzek (especially since I'm so undecided).
Jay couldn't sleep. So he was going to make sure Will couldn't sleep.
"Will!" he called again, pounding on his brother's apartment door.
The door finally swung open and Will, in his flannel pajama pants, squinted out at him. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"
Jay pushed past him, letting himself in. "We need to come up with a plan for Jess."
"1 am. That's what time it is, Jay." Will stifled a yawn.
"She's not at Dad's," Jay said, ignoring him.
"She's staying at a friend's house," Will said. "Can I go back to bed now?"
"You talked to her?" he asked.
"She finally answered one of my texts and said she was crashing with a friend tonight. She didn't say who," he answered before Jay asked his next question.
"Mouse can ping her phone," Jay muttered under his breath. He started for the door.
"Whoa, wait up there, Detective," Will said, fully awake. He positioned himself in Jay's path. "You can't have your buddy track Jess."
When Jay met Will's eyes, Will's heart sank.
"Are you sleeping at all?" he asked his younger brother.
"Get out of my way, Will."
Will knew Jay could throw him aside if he chose to. He hoped Jay wouldn't choose to. "Look, I'm just as worried about Jess as you are, but we can only help her if she lets us."
The thread of control holding Jay together snapped. "You have no idea the hell Jess is in right now! No idea!"
Will saw glimpses of the panic that had been under the surface when Jay first came home.
"But you know," Will said to himself. Of course Jay knew. Will had seen the shattered man who came back from overseas four years earlier.
"We've got to find her," Jay said.
"Ok, we'll find her," Will said. "Sit down for a minute and let me get dressed."
Jay at least stayed in the apartment. He paced like a caged lion around the small living room.
As soon as he was in his room, Will picked up his cell phone. He only had to wait two rings for an answer.
"Jay's here. You better get over here."
#
Ruzek couldn't convince Jess to take the bed. But he supposed it didn't matter, since she didn't look like she was going to sleep any time soon. Her hands were shaking and she sat at his table with an untouched glass of water in front of her.
"Is this how it is every night?" he asked. He pretended not to notice her jump at the sound of a siren on the street below them.
"If I don't take something to take the edge off," she said.
"Does Jay know?"
Jess met his eyes briefly and looked back down at the table.
Ok. Jay was off limits.
A car backfired somewhere and Jess suddenly pushed her chair back and stood. "I'm sorry, Adam. This was a mistake. I shouldn't have come."
"Whoa, hold on," Ruzek said standing, too.
Jess was shaking her head. "You don't need to deal with this. With my…stuff."
Ruzek was pretty sure it wasn't only her concern for him that had her jumping up to leave. "And you don't have to go try to score."
Jess pressed her shaking hands to her face. She shook her head again, loosening a few curls from her long braid. Her eyes were starting to dart around the room.
"What did you do in the Army?" Ruzek asked, trying to distract her.
"What?" she asked. He had at least succeeded in grabbing her attention for a minute.
"Jay said you were in the Army. What did you do?"
"I was a medic," she said. Her attention started to waver again. She looked toward the door.
He could imagine what she had seen overseas. What had chased her home.
"You have a plan for what you want to do now that you can choose?" he asked.
The question stilled her for a minute. Then tears filled her eyes and she shook her head. "Survive," she whispered hoarsely.
The last bit of fight left her and she sank down into the chair. She dropped her head into her hands.
Ruzek pulled his chair up next to hers. "Ok. Then that's where we'll start." He bent his head close to hers. "We'll start with tonight. You're going to survive tonight."
She clenched her trembling hands into fists and set them in her lap. Ruzek covered them with his hand. "I'll help you," he promised.
#
Will managed to keep Jay in his apartment until he heard the light knock on his door. Jay startled at the sound. Will made an effort to look like he didn't notice. Like he didn't remember when Jay used to stay up for days and hyper alert to any noise.
"Hey," Will said, opening the door. "Come on in."
Mouse stepped into the room, scanning it and landing on Jay. "Hey, bro," he said. He moved deliberately and dropped onto the couch, his fingers tapping out a rhythm on the arm.
He didn't take his eyes off Jay.
"What's this?" Jay asked. His gaze swung between his brother and his friend. "Are you going to ping Jess' phone?" he asked.
"Sure. I can do that," Mouse answered. "If we need to."
"What do you mean?" Jay demanded. He let out a disbelieving laugh. There was no humor. "You know, Mouse. You know what it's like over there." He jabbed a finger at him. "You know what she's going through."
Mouse leaned forward. "I know, man. I know. The thing is, locking her up and tracking her isn't going to help her. I mean, you might keep her out of some trouble, but is it going to stop the nightmares?" His angular face was serious.
"We can deal with that once we know she's safe!" Jay spun towards Will. "What's he doing here if he's not going to help?"
"You're not thinking straight, Jay," Will said. He held his ground. He really hoped Jay wouldn't hit him.
"How long has it been since you slept?" Mouse asked.
Jay didn't answer. Will could see where Jess got her stubborn silence from.
"Do you need something to help you sleep?" Will asked.
"Jess is the one who needs help," Jay said.
"It brings it back, doesn't it?" Mouse asked. He lifted one side of his mouth in a grim smile. "Seeing Jess go through it. Hearing about it."
Jay swallowed hard.
"Why do you think I was awake at 1 am?" Mouse asked. "Hearing about her nightmares. What she saw…" His fingers tapped faster and he clenched his jaw.
Mouse dragged himself back with a shake of his head and Will let out the breath he was holding. He couldn't let Mouse and Jay go off the rails along with Jess.
"I think everyone needs to get some sleep," Will said. "I'm off tomorrow. We can meet up at Molly's when you guys get off work and talk then."
"What did she tell you?" Jay asked Mouse, ignoring Will. "She talked to you?"
Mouse hesitated then bobbed his head. "We met up for lunch yesterday."
Jay narrowed his eyes at his friend. "She met you for lunch?" He glanced toward Will, checking to see if he knew this.
Will shook his head.
"I mean, we met up, but it wasn't like we planned it. I was worried about her," Mouse said. "I checked on her."
"You pinged her phone," Jay accused.
"It wasn't the middle of the night," Mouse reminded him. "I just wanted to check in with her. I did. She's trying, man. She's trying to get it together."
"Then you can check in with her now." Jay jerked his head toward the door. "Let's go."
Mouse looked toward Will.
"No one's going to track anyone right now," Will said. "Jay, you're going to go home and sleep."
Jay started to argue. Will ignored him. "If you don't, I will call Voight and tell him in my professional opinion, you aren't fit for duty." He softened his voice. "You know you haven't been yourself since Jess showed up."
Mouse stood and clapped a hand on Jay's shoulder. "Come on. You can crash at my place tonight. Neither one of us is going back down the road we already traveled. And we'll get Jess off it, too."
Jay held his ground for a beat. Will prayed he would listen to reason. He couldn't handle seeing Jay back in that place again. It felt like he was barely holding it together for Jess as it was.
Jay gave a slight nod and started to go with Mouse. He stopped at the door. "Will?"
Will braced himself.
"Thanks," Jay said before he turned and left with Mouse.
Will closed the door behind them, then dropped his head against it and took a breath. He hoped he could survive his two siblings.