A/N: Final Word Count- 8.45k Pre-A/N's. Hidey-ho, my peeps! We, as in I, finally bring you the second installment into what is, arguably, the best episode from season 2 ^^.
I'll be honest, im both interested and nervous of the feedback I'll get for this episode (more specifically, the next 2, this and next) and the chapters I send. Not out of a lack of personal confidence or anything, but just that if there is one thing the episode is known for, its how hilarious it is, and while the 2nd half, as i said before, will still be a bit more serious, I hope everyone finds enjoyment in the attempted humor I throw in with these next two parts.
Let me know what you think of the next two chapters between the "strategies/planning" everyone goes through, and what is supposed to be an enjoyably and intentionally silly meeting XP.
With that said, enjoy!
...
...
...
"All right, so that plan was a total flop." Catra commented as she rubbed her chin, staring at the large pamphlet unfolded and standing in front of her on the table. The longer the day grew on, the more frustrating the planning was becoming.
Today was one of the Rebellion's most dangerous missions to date. After the last month of defending their home from the countless Horde robots that were sent to them everyday, the Princess Alliance was finally able to reorganize themselves and take back the rest of Etheria that was stolen from them. One such area was the region they were currently occupied in, one that housed one of the most defensible structures that the Rebellion had to offer, and one that was currently under Horde control.
After the last meeting the Princess Alliance held together, the trio found themselves currently debating the most difficult position they would ever come across- how to retake the stronghold. Within the stronghold held every manner of defense; turrets mounted on every corner along the hundred-foot walls, weapons to dismantle any matter of elemental magic that attacked them, and soldiers that filled the outpost by nearly the hundred. It was, without a doubt, one of the most dangerous missions they had to date.
And they haven't even started it yet!
Their current predicament landed them inside the large tent within the base camp across from the outpost. What at first started as nothing more than a mere game across a table to plan the attack slowly escalated into a full-blown nightmare. Every plan they came up with within the first half-hour was shot down the drain. The game came with the most realistic and plausible scenarios Bow could come up with, even to the extent of gauging everyone's reactions to everything that happened around them. It was the most realistic game Catra had ever played.
It was also the most stressful as the more the plan failed, the more dismayed Catra was slowly turning. She couldn't bring herself to have another mission end in failure, not like the mission to save Bow and Glimmer from the Fright Zone. While it may have ended successfully, it resulted in them losing one of their own. Not just in a manner of life, but to the other side completely. Entrapta was now working for the Horde without a care in the world, and it was a betrayal the magicat had barely gotten over in the last several days.
With that in mind, she took everything into account as they tried to come up with the perfect battle strategy, one that wouldn't result in any losses, death or otherwise. "Maybe if we tried sneaking around the turrets from another angle-"
"You're going about it the wrong way." Glimmer said as she casually took the game master board from Catra's side. "We're not going to win by sneaking in. We have to take the action to them!" With a boast of confidence, the Princess of Bright Moon displayed the board before her and established her plan.
...
The walls of the glorious citadel was an imposing figure as the thunderstorms danced across the sky. In the world of the black-and-white noir that was Glimmer's incredible plan, nothing was as it seemed. Not even the castle that displayed the Horde's banner in front of itself, letting all the subjects and slaves of the neighboring town know just who was in charge here! It could only be disrupted by someone who knew what they were doing. Someone brave, someone confident, someone who totally had the skills to do it.
Someone, like Agent T. Glimmer.
Donning a pair of slim blue jeans torn at the knees on both ends, who could totally not look suspicious while wearing sunglasses in the middle of a storm and chewing on a toothpick, the leather jacket-wearing princess could be seen totally minding her own business as she leaned against the outer wall, making sure the coast was clear of any possible patrols, before putting the rest of her plan into action.
"First, I'll teleport to the top of the walls where each of the turrets are located."
With a bright grey flash, the princess teleported to one of the many corners of the wall just like in the last plan-
...
"Wait, wait, wait, back up." Catra rubbed her head as she interrupted. "What does the "T" stand for?"
"Who cares, it sounds cool! Anyway..."
...
With a bright grey flash, the princess teleported to one of the many corners of the wall just like in the last plan, reappearing in a squat in front of the yawning guard with a smug grin on her face and her toothpick sticking up.
"Hey, how are ya?" The next thing anyone knew, the sound of the guard screaming as he was hurdled over the wall and into the bundle of trees below was deafened by the cries of the thunderous storm raging around them.
"First, I use my power to take out all of the surrounding guards along the walls." Fists glowing with energy, the dark of the storm was plagued with endless flashes along the walls, the sounds of people screaming in despair filling the sky left and right as they were tossed over the walls into the surrounding forest, the attacks coming at them too frequently and fast for any of them to stand a chance against the awesome power that Glimmer had! "That takes care of the guards on the wall's pathways."
"After that, I turn my direction to the Super Bot they indefinitely have guarding the inside of the wall." With a grave tremble, the ground shook ferociously as the largest of possible round droids dropped in upon the young agent, towering over her and thirty feet in diameter. Along its body it came fully equipped with double-mounted turrets, rocket launchers, and lasers that would have even the sturdiest of attackers shaking in their boots.
But those agents weren't Agent T. Glimmer!
With a barrage of weaponry, the powerful droid opened fire on the seemingly-defenseless princess, blasting at her with everything it had. But it should've known better to underestimate the likes of her. With the flick of her wrist, she disappeared in a flash before the first rocket could even touch her, reappearing with her epic staff right above the deadly weapon, and impaled it dead center in the middle of the creation.
Sparks fired from the hole that was made as electricity crackled around the machination, its central core damaged beyond repairing. Teleporting again, the princess ended up several yards behind the droid, twirling her staff in one hand as if it was the most normal thing in the world to her. Coming to a halt, the princess finally slammed the butt of the staff into the ground at her side, other hand in her jacket pocket, and grinned to herself as the air rushed past her following the droid's immense explosion.
She was far too cool to look back at the explosion.
She slammed the model of her into the large model of the droid under her, making an explosion-like sound effect with her voice as she slammed it off the table, and placed her piece triumphantly within the Horde's settlement.
"Then, I draw the attention of the all the turrets," she continued, teleporting from her spot to the air, drawing the attention of every turret perfectly so they were in line of sight of each other, "get them to open fire, teleport again so they blast at each other, and then-!" just as the princess's body started to glow, a voice rang out from far under her, wearing a professional suit that all spies were known for, complete with a black tie, black sunglasses, and white-collared vest under it.
This, was Agent T. Bow.
"You ran out of teleports, like, twelve teleports ago." Agent Bow pointed out, shouting from within the fortress along the bridge-way.
Agent Glimmer just froze for a few seconds as she blinked at this, then resumed time as her sunglasses fell off to reveal her perplexed state. "...And am immediately shot out of the sky, and crash into Bow." Her eyes widening was the last thing Agent Glimmer was capable of doing before all of the turrets opened fire on her at the same time, shooting her out of the sky like she said in a spectacularly, albeit tragic, explosion, that shot her to the ground where she crashed into Bow, resulting in his own death at the explosion that followed after.
But at least she did it cooly.
"Tiny Bow! Nooooooo!" Not once but twice now, has his faithful companion been slain within the last five minutes. A moment of rest for the fallen figurine that landed on it. Regardless of how it ended, with Catra shaking her head in annoyance as she pinched herself, Glimmer was quite confident the plan that ended with her being awesome was the way to go.
"As funny as it would be to see you dropping in on Bow, we should try something more realistic."
"Which is exactly why I landed on Bow, realistically, and exploding." Catra completely ignored her as she took the display back, examining it.
"Well the part involving the teleporting sounded okay." She admitted. "You think you and Bowey could teleport to each of the turrets and sabotage them?"
"I could definitely sabotage them if Glimmer got me close enough..." Bow began.
"But with such a large distance between them, I wouldn't be able to teleport us to all of them with magic to spare..." Glimmer finished.
Sighing, Catra reorganized her thoughts as she observed the map. "Okay, in that case..." A plan grew within her mind as she pointed to the center of the large fortress where the tower stood tall.
"Then we'll cover ourselves from the inside out." From the outside, Glimmer teleported with Bow, hand in hand, as she jumped from the base of the fortress's outer walls to the top of the structure. At the same time, Catra continued to dig her hands through the solid metal in her She-Ra state, pulling herself enough to jump several feet at a time until she was atop the wall itself, just as Glimmer reappeared to pull her up. "From there, Bow can provide us with cover safely from where the turrets won't reach him. Then-"
*Thomp!*
Suddenly, and without warning, the earth around them began to shake as the thunderous stomps of a horrifying giant began to make itself apparent. It stomped through the woods surrounding them, over double in height and size of the surrounding trees, as it gazed with its breathtakingly terrifying eyes over to the duo along the wall, who could only gape back in shock. Never had they seen a creature as gigantic or revolting as the hideous being, nor could Catra comprehend what sort of vile wickedness the giant had in storm for them!
"Uh... Why are you playing with dolls?" Mermista finally asked.
...
It was the strangest sight she had ever come across among the three of them, and knowing Catra, honestly, rather surprising. To come upon them in the middle of playing a board game, with dolls, and with Catra among everything, was the strangest sight she's ever come across.
"We're not playing with dolls!" Catra yelled defensively and embarrassed.
"Yeah! They're war-table, battle figures." Bow supported, staring up at the mermaid princess as she looked over his shoulder. "And I don't know if I have one for you... Hold on." He was sure he would've had something around here for her as he dug around his bag.
"Wait, aren't you supposed to be on watch?" Glimmer pointed out to the uncaring princess.
Turning her head in the direction of the large outpost, Mermista just blinked as she shrugged back to her. "Oh, look at that. It's still there, like it was an hour ago. Watch complete." She grinned a little as Glimmer groaned back to her, enjoying the little teasing she got to get out from time to time. "Relax, I switched with Perfuma." It was hard to say if she ever took pride in what teases or annoyances she could get out as she sat between Bow and Glimmer.
"Look, if you're going to sit around all day, the least you could do is help us." Catra suggested, looking over the display. "We're trying to come up with a plan to invade the base."
"...Seriously?" Doubt instantly clouded Mermista's mind as she raised a brow at her.
"Yes, seriously."
"You are... coming up with a plan..."
"What? You don't think I'm smart enough to come up with a plan, too?" At this, Glimmer and Bow shared a look as they shifted their gaze to one another. Incapable of possibly answering the question, the two turned away with a small blush as they went on with their respective things
"L-Lovely weather we're having..." Glimmer commented, looking up to the sky.
"Yup. Still looking, still looking..." Catra couldn't help as a small blush formed on her own face as her brow twitched a little at this.
"Hey, I'm plenty smart, and I know how to make a plan!" She grumbled, looking over the information. "We just, you know, haven't really needed to form one before for something important like this."
"She isn't technically wrong." Glimmer commented, trying to encourage her. "Most of the missions we've gone on have ended up going haywire in the middle of it because of something unexpected. For Plumeria, it was the Horde trying to set up some diplomacy thing, although it looked more like a forced-surrender."
"For yours, it was the Horde showing up after we arrived to Salineas." Bow added as he continued to search.
"And Entrapta's?" Mermista's wondering already fell flat as Catra shot her a spiteful look for a few seconds, slowly reminding the mermaid of everything they recently learned. Like who's name not to mention around her. "Oh, right... So am I in the plan then?"
"Well, we're in the middle of somethi-"
"I don't have you, but I do have a seashell and a happy sea otter." Bow interrupted as he brought out the small, admittedly cute, figurines.
"Uh... Googly eyes? Pass." A very hard, straightforward, pass from her.
"If you're not going to join in, then do you mind leav-"
"I'll be She-Ra." Mermista decided, interrupting and irritating the magicat, who quickly grabbed for it, at the same time.
"What? You can't be Sh-Ra, I'm She-Ra!" She declared, refusing to let go of the only figurine she admittedly liked.
"Well I don't see your name on it."
"Don't see my name? It's She-Ra! The entire thing is my name!"
"I don't know. This one has a lot more orange to her hair than you do." She was starting to enjoy the small teasing as she saw Catra's mouth twitch.
"That's because it was when I was at my full power."
"So your full power comes with a dye job? Right. And mine comes with the ability to make custard pies and make sea lions do a rodeo."
"I doubt you could even make a custard pie on your own you stupid-!"
"Ugh!" With a loud groan from the erupting irritation surrounding her, Glimmer quickly teleported to Mermista's side, startling the two enough to make Catra let go of the figurine, and teleported her again until they were twenty feet away from the tents. "Gimme that!" With a single swipe, Glimmer snatched the figurine out of Mermista's hands again before teleporting back to the same tent, leaving the disoriented Mermista to get her bearings after realizing where she was again.
"Uh, rude much?"
...
It was during the same time at the Horde Fortress that Lonnie picked up an energy spike on her tracker pad, or Rogelio's in this case since Scorpia broke her last one. Within the diagram of the map's outline, she saw several red dots going off from the other side of the chasm they were near, indicating the magical properties of a princess's magic going off. It was a clear indication of what it was as she turned back to the soldier inspecting the turrets.
"Tell Force Captain Scorpira that the Alliance finally arrived." She ordered, earning a salute from the very soldier as she went back to inspecting the map.
...
*swish*
The other two looked as Glimmer teleported back to her very spot, casually tossing the figurine back into Catra's palms. "All right, I admit I got a little carried away. But the rest of my plan could work."
"It could if it wasn't for a certain someone you forgot about: Adora." Once again, there was a brief silence in the tent as everyone thought to themselves. Looking back on it, this wasn't going to be just a run-of-the-mill mission. This would be the first time Catra saw Adora again since the Battle of Bright Moon, the aftermath of which changed Catra's life forever. It wouldn't just be the first time they fought each other since then. It would be the first time they ever met since cutting ties with one another.
"Adora doesn't make mistakes in her plans. She has a backup for almost everything."
"Tell me about it..." Glimmer muttered to herself looking away. She couldn't forget how just a few days ago, despite having captured her, managing to pull through with Bow, and exposing Adora's plan to him, that Adora was still the one that came out on top.
"She's smart, she's strong, she single-handedly lead the assault on Bright Moon, and-"
"And I've already thought of that." Glimmer grinned. It was just a slip of the mind when Glimmer made her original plan.
NOW came the time for the real one!
...
Within the Noir-styled Castle, Agent T. Glimmer navigated, letting nothing get in her path after she infiltrated the complex through her previous methods, right up until the Super Bot showed up. When she spotted a security Camera, she quickly teleported under it and used Bow's gadgets to play the footage on a continuous loop. When she came across a locked door, saving on her magic, she used her incredible lock-picking skills to pull her way through within seconds. And when she took an elevator that was filled with a dozen guards blocking her path? She didn't turn away, she gladly strolled on in.
With the door closing behind her and re-opening several floors later, the victorious and always awesome Agent was cracking her knuckles, having enjoyed the nice little "warm up" the guards gave her as they lied beaten and bruised behind her, all of them groaning as she hit the elevator buttons again from the outside, sending them away.
Now, there was nothing between her and her intended target- except a trap-filled hallway that planned to finally put an end to all of her incredible feats. It was filled to the brim with every matter of trap, from punji-filled holes in the floor, swinging guillotines that lined the ceiling from one end of the hall to the other, laser grids that would've cut through anything they came into contact with, and multiple walls housed with-
...
"Why are you dragging this out if you can just teleport through all of that?"
"Stop interrupting!"
...
*-housed with every hundreds upon thousands of arrows, just waiting to be set off by the touch of the hundreds of tripwires set throughout the floor. To anyone, this would've been the most deadliest course known to man, one that only the most fool-hardy and suicidal enough would attempt to pull off.
To Agent Glimmer, this was nothing more than her daily workout before breakfast was served.
With a leap, and a twirl, and so many awesome flips and kicks that didn't need to be explained in any sort of fashion that seemed plausible, Agent Glimmer navigated through the trap-filled hall, deactivated the traps with the console on the other side, then checked the timer on her wrist watch as Catra and Bow watched her from behind.
"Seven point three seconds." She spat out her toothpick in disgust of her slowness. "I must be getting rusty."
*clap*
*clap*
*clap*
The clapping echoed through the floor as the center of the room light up perfectly under the watchful gaze of the spotlight. There, she could tell the Evil Mastermind was finally waiting for her, sitting perfectly in the oval-shaped chair as she had her back turned to her. There could be no doubt about who it was.
"Well, well, well," the chair slowly turned to reveal the Evil Mastermind in all her evilness, "if it isn't my arch nemesis, Special Agent T. Glimmer!"
"Is that seriously how you see Adora?" Lesser Agent Catra questioned from behind. She was nothing like the awesome agent that stood before her. She was practically dressed up as a social worker by the appearance of it, wearing a plain white vest while holding a clipboard with all the do's and dont's of being a secret agent, had a combed, ugly haircut compared to Agent Glimmer's, and was wearing thin black pants. If none of this proved just how unpopular she looked in appearance, the dorky wide-angled clear glasses she wore definitely did.
She was nowhere near as cool to someone awesome like Special Agent T. Glimmer, who she always looked up to like a superhero.
"Why am I dressed as a dork, and who said you were ever my hero?!"
There could be no doubt about it. The Evil Mastermind that was Adora sat before her in all her evil glory! Glimmer would recognize that look anywhere from their last battle she totally won. The hair that dangled from her right shoulder, the large poofy scarf that wrung around her neck. The way she sat wearing the very dress she wore to the Princess Prom and high heels, so casually with one leg crossed over the other, with a pet viper being stroked softly in her lap as it hissed.
And who could forget, the most notable part of Adora that everyone within Etheria knew; the skull-printed eye-patch that she wore over her right eye.
"I should've expected my greatest enemy to have shown up sooner or later."
"Are you still talking about yourself or me?"
Glimmer just scoffed as she spat to the floor, taking in a combat stance with her fist to the front and her hand in the air, defensively. "Did you really expect to finish me off the last time we met?"
"Oh, no, no, Agent Glimmer," with a grin, the Evil Mastermind pressed one of the various buttons on her chair's arm, "I expected you to FALL!" Without warning, the floor suddenly gave out from under the special agent, Glimmer almost missing the ledge as the very tips of her fingers saved her from falling into a crocodile-pit-filled death!
With all the strength she clearly had in her three holding fingers, she gritted her teeth as she pulled herself right into the air, flipping again, as she landed both of her feet perfectly. Growling at underestimating the super athleticism of her arch rival, Adora quickly summoned the shadows to her side, grinning as if the outcome of this very spectacular fight was already predestined from the gods themselves, as the dozens of shadowy tendrils rose around her.
Without missing a beat, she teleported. One after the tendrils attempted to snap at the young agent with all the right moves, missing every single beat from beginning to end, as Glimmer continued to teleport all the way around the room, until eventually she came across the very switch that powered up all the turrets along the outer walls, Adora's eyes widening as her clever enemy managed to best her yet again, cursing her name to the high heavens.
"Game Over, Ador-"
"I cast Giant Flytrap on Adora!" Princess Perfuma squealed as she knocked Glimmer away. Before either of the two knew it, from behind Perfuma, a massive man-sized flytrap sprouted from the shadows, lunging straight for Adora as her pet snake jumped out of the way in fear.
Following the snake's example, without anything else to do, the Evil Mastermind Adora quickly pressed into her chair's arms again, blasting herself off in an escape as the flytrap continued right past her. With enough reflexes within her bones, Catra quickly ducked out of the way in time to avoid the oncoming monstrosity.
Unfortunately, the very same couldn't be said about Bow, who could only wallow in misery as the massive jaws of the plant came down upon him.
*Chomp*
...
"Tiny Bow! Not agaaaain!" Bow could only look up tearfully at his devouring comrade he's lot who knew how many times as the small flytrap in the potted plant Perfuma was holding continued to nibble on it.
"Oops. Sorry, Bow..." Perfuma apologized.
Back in what could be the closest thing to reality, the others noticed as the rest of the Princess Alliance had arrived, with a slightly smug-looking Mermista watching the three of them, along with the youngest of the current princesses, Frosta, who was on her side.
"Ugh, what are you guys doing here?" Glimmer groaned, grabbing her figurine before another game of tug-of-war occurred.
"Metmista said you were playing with dolls and board games, and I just had to see it!" Frosta replied in a cheeky grin as she eyed the figurine in Catra's hands. "And I can't believe she was telling the truth!"
"We're not playing with dolls!" Catra yelled back. Looking at her own figurine, she couldn't tell what was even doll-like about it. It was just a small figurine of a real-life person that wore a dress that Bow made to match part of a complete outfit, and...
...As she slowly thought more about it, a small blush covered Catra's cheeks as she hid the doll under the table, turning her head away. Doll or not, she still refused to give her figurine to anyone else.
"I'll have you know we were planning a very serious strategy session," Glimmer rubbed her knuckles against her chest with a sense of pride, "which, I'll have you know, I happen to have-"
"Lost." Bow regretfully informed, cutting her off. He slid over the display piece to the princess as he went over the details. "Two major problems with your strategy. One, by the time you even find Adora if she's hiding in there, chances are you're going to run out of too much magic before you fight her."
"Y-Yeah, well..." She had to think here, she couldn't let the final mission of Agent T. Glimmer end in tragedy! "What's the other problem?"
"Shutting off power to the outpost wouldn't work." Catra brought up, having seen the display more than enough times to know the layout. "All of the turrets run on their own backup generators in case of a power failure, long enough for engineers to fix the main one. They can all last for an additional hour after a shut-off."
"What?" Glimmer glanced over the information as she gathered the display. As much as she hated to admit it, despite her perseverance as the incredible agent she was, there was nothing to show for it. With the accuracy of the game's information in hand, there was no room for doubt as she drooped to the floor again. "Awww." Special Agent T. Glimmer had officially signed off. "So much for that plan..."
"Well we can help you with the plans!" Perfuma beamed with excitement.
"Aren't you supposed to be on watch duty right now?" Glimmer pointed out.
None of the others said anything as they continued to stare at the other three with curiosity and excitement. Looking back on it, she supposed it wasn't exactly fair for the rest when it looked like they were sitting around playing board games all day long while everyone else was working. With a sigh, Catra gave in. "Okay, fine, you can join us, but this is a serious strategy-"
"I get to sit next to Glimmer!" Frosta chirped as she sat between her and Perfuma, Perfuma between her and Bow, and Mermista between Bow and Catra. From here, Catra could only watch as everyone else started chatting among themselves with excitement, unable to tell how she should be feeling about this right now, as well as questioning why it had to happen now of all times, and the irony of the situation as she lowered her ears.
Why was it that out of the few times Catra had been serious on a mission, the rest of them were goofing around? Didn't they understand how serious the mission was? This wasn't going to be like any of the previous missions they had come across by now, however few and rare they were. If one thing went wrong on this mission, everything was going to go wrong, she was sure of it. This mission had to go perfect in every way.
It had to be executed perfectly, everything had to be timed perfectly, and, above all, they could afford to have a single, unexpected, hiccup to occur at any point in the planning.
For once, everything, had to be perfect.
...
...
"Spy Bot, the mission is simple." Scorpia strut back and forth in her pace as she gave the following commands to the small bot in Rogelio's hands. "Spy on the princesses so I have something to report back to Adora when she gets here, and to make sure this place is perfectly defensible for the assault when the time comes, so that Adora will be impressed so much, that she'll finally consider me to be her new best friend, or at the very least, have a bond that can never be broken. Got that?"
Everything was riding on this one moment of clarity to her! She was going to make sure that the defenses of this place were so defensible that other defenses would seem defenseless by comparison! As much as Adora considers Scorpia a friend, not once, did she ever tell Scorpia that she considered her a best friend, even after what happened a month ago. It didn't bother her too much as she assumed she was her best friend, after all, she considered Adora her best friend, but she still preferred hearing it in person than wondering to herself back and forth if the two were ever going to be considered BFF's!
Nobody should have to live with this sort of torture running through their minds, the pain and misery of never knowing if your friend as your best friend that considered you their best friend too! Like, what if she considered Entrapta her best friend first before considering her to be her best friend? Or even worse- what if she still considered Catra to secretly be her best friend despite everything she's done to upset her and after?!
Oh, gosh, that would be awful!
That is why she had to do this. She HAD to! She knew the minute she reported all the amazing things she had to back to her friend, she was going to be so proud of Scorpia that she was going to throw open her arms, let Scorpia give her the biggest hug of her life, and officially declare that she was the Ultimate Best Friend she ever had! And it all hinged on the bravery, intelligence, and fortitude, on her trusty, amazing, little Spider Bot!
"...Spy Bot?" Scorpia repeated, leaning in a little closer to the non-functioning droid.
What at first functioned to amuse Lonnie as she saw Scorpia flail about, giving orders left and right like she knew what she was doing, quickly drained away any and all amusement as she watched the girl continuing to the same thing over and over again. It didn't help she kept dragging Lonnie and Rogelio everywhere as Kyle was off doing whatever crazy order Scorpia last gave her. "Uh, it's not turned on, and, um, that's not how it works."
"..." Scorpia stared back between the two and the little robot in the lizard's hand. She was losing them! She had to act fast in a way they wouldn't be able to tell! "G-Good, yeah! I was just testing you on whether or not you knew how to do that stuff. A-And you passed. Adora will definitely be proud of your surprise test. Good Job!" With her determination refilled at how perfectly her acting went, unaware as the two stared at each other unsurprised again, she directed them behind her. "Now, let's go spy!"
"Eh-hem." Lonnie cleared her throat as she as she handed her the controller of the spider boat to the questionable Force Captain herself, turning it on for her with the click of a single button.
Instantly, the small Spider Bot beeped as the small lens-like eye in the middle of its round body lit with life. From everything that could be seen from the monitor connected to the Spider Bot's point of view, everything came to the small bot with a red hue. Everything seemed fun and fantastic to the little droid as it danced in Rogelio's palm, twirling a little bit happily before looking up to the large scorpion girl who awed at the mere sight of the droid beeping to her.
"Ooooh, aren't you the cutest little fella." She's never seen anything so adorable before! "Look at you with your little legs and your antennae! "You're just duh mowst cutest wittle thing I've ever-"
"Ahem!" Lonnie cleared her throat again, keeping the girl on track.
"Ah, spying! Yes! That is the thing... that we are doing." She honestly was a little disappointed, silently hoping to herself that Adora would let her keep it after this mission was complete. All it required was her magnificent brain to study the complex and inner workings of the complex device that Lonnie had handed her a minute ago and all three variety of buttons it seemed to have. Arrows, a circle, and the power switch. In honesty, she could handle those complexities.
What she couldn't handle were the handicaps she was given as a child, or clawdicaps she was given in this case. Every attempt to tap at any of the remote buttons with her massive claws was met with failure as she tried to aim the very tips of her claws on any of the small buttons, failing repeatedly as she either missed by a far inch, or her claws slipped right over the remote itself. After what felt like an eternity put into a ten-second form, she nervously smiled to the girl behind her as she put her best acting face on.
"Say, I now have a second test for you-"
"Do you want me to drive the Spy Bot?"
"Yes please." Lonnie hoped wherever Adora was she was on her way soon, because at the rate this was all going, Scorpia was going to be practically handing the Fortress over to the Rebellion...
...
"Okay, everyone has a figure, except for Perfuma who's using her plant," Bow stated as he eyed the cheerful princess, "and Mermista who has... that." He finished, eyeing the princess who was complaining for the last several minutes for a cooler figure, which basically looked like an action figure at this point, and still looked bored about it.
"Says the guy with a bag of dolls." She shot back.
"They''re war-table, battle figures!" There was no way he could go down in Etheria's history as the heroic archer who declared the Rebellion's victory over today by playing with a bunch of dolls!
"What he said." The bored magicat who was waiting for the meeting to continue for the last several minutes said. "Anyway, moving on-"
"Hold it!" The archer wouldn't let the meeting continue without giving his own input next, grabbing the display from in front of Catra. "So far I've been shot, set on fire, shoved off cliffs, bombed, stabbed, hit by friendly fire off a cliff," for the few moments that everyone turned their attention to Catra, the feline turned her own attention to the Princess of Bright Moon, who could only lower her head in guilt, "squashed, catapulted, and eaten!"
"And we all appreciate your sacrifice. Moving on now-"
"So we're doing my plan now!" The confident archer decreed as he set up the display before him. "And there will be no death, no dying, just heroic good times!"
...
The moon was full on the dark, dreadful night as the sound of wolves howling in the distance filled the looming silence ahead. The dead forest that surrounded the notorious castle of evil were the only things standing between the living, and the undead that filled the castle's unholy ground. The only thing separating the innocent villages of the neighboring region between life and death was the power of one man.
One muscular man.
One incredibly trimmed mustached man.
One incredibly trimmed mustached man whose heart yearned for adventure. And his name was...
BOW!
"We'll do part of Glimmer's plan first!" Coming to the entrance of the dreaded castle, Bow blasted the chains off the front gate, kicking his way open as he traversed the deadly castle filled to the brim of monsters and traps the likes of which the living world was never meant to see. "We'll infiltrate the fortress on foot, and make our way through the enemies as quick as possible!"
"What the heck am I wearing!?" If Catra thought the last outfit she was wearing was ridiculous, she would've gladly traded over a hundred of those outfits back for whatever this monstrosity was. She looked like she was wearing an outdated of her old uniform, with a few additions to it she was more than fuming to be equipped with. First off, she was wearing makeup.
That was an instant death sentence to anyone around her.
Following this, the rest of her outfit looked like it belonged to someone in her thirties, something that just screamed old fashioned to the hearing impaired. Along with her outfit, she was donning a violet cape to her back, something that didn't seem to sit right with her. She was also wearing a different version of her tiara which appeared to have glowing green eyes that came with it. That might have been the only change she didn't mind.
The same couldn't be said about the rest of the outfits the others were wearing. She couldn't tell what sort of weirdo came up with these costumes, but they looked like someone dug around in their attic at the last minute for a Halloween party and pulled out the outfits no one had seen for decades. She could only fathom the possible poor souls of those early years who thought wearing this sort of thing was something to be proud of.
Taking a look back himself, Bow simply shrugged. "What? I thought you'd like the change in style?"
"Trust me, She-Ra, I think your outfit is amazing!" Perfuma commented, squealing at the sight of her hero's change of clothes.
"...You have five seconds to change me back before that mustache is coming off."
"Okay, okay." Looking back at herself, she waited a few seconds until her appearance finally returned to normal.
At least that's what she wanted to say, until she realized she was wearing a completely different She-Ra outfit. She looked like a fashion drag queen who wore their mother's oversized clothes by accident, with a new tiara that made her original She-Ra outfit look way too subtle by comparison.
"This isn't what I had in mind!"
"Anyway," Bow continued, "first, we make our way further into the fortress's interior." The manly archer that was he sped ahead of the group of the barely-lit hallways, nothing but torches giving any sliver of light within the barren zone. "We stick within its walls until we come across wherever Adora is hiding."
Pausing with his hand to the rest of the party and his amazing mustache picking up something, he narrowed his eyes as he saw three hideously zombified versions of Kyle, Lonnie, and Rogelio, shambling up to him. "And we'll take care of any soldiers that come across our way." From this, respectively, Perfuma, Frosta, and Mermista used their powers to entangle, freeze, and blast away at the zombies who could only shamble in place, Kyle's undead leg falling off in the process as he stared.
Anything of the unordinary like this would've scared his courageous comrades half to death, but they knew, deep within, as long as they had the manly presence that was ahead of their group leading them, nothing would be impossible!
"Finally, we'll reach the center of the fortress, where Adora will be waiting for us!" The interior was just as horrifying as he pictured it. All along the walls lined nothing but shadows and darkness as the blood-red tapestry of the curtains closed off light from the outside. Within the center of this unholy place lied the very bed where he knew where Adora would still be resting- her coffin.
"Wait, why is Adora dead in all this-"
Like everything else, unimportant banter involving the magicat was immediately cut off, as the brave and masculine Bow rushed over to the coffin of ultimate evil. Using every muscle in his burly body, he pushed open the crypt to the nightmare of all living things, only to discover nothing more than cobwebs and bats that burst from the master's bed.
With no master in sight.
"Mwahahahahaha!" The echoing laughter of terror surrounded the allies and bravest of heroes as a lone figure slowly appeared from the shadows with nothing more than its glowing red eyes. "To vink you vould vind your way here, Vow." Slowly stepping out of the darkness, Bow's perfectly trimmed face narrowed its eyes.
It was the evil lord of the castle, Adora, in all her terror! With pupils filled with the color of blood, her long flowing blond hair dangling over behind her head, the mistress of darkness, revealed herself. With a cape as dark as the night that stretched around her entire body, a collar that rose up to her ears around her neck, and her malicious fangs that have feasted on the blood of the countless innocents, there could be no doubt in Bow's masterfully-tactician mind of intelligence as he pointed to her.
"Adora!"
"...WHAT!?" Catra stammered from behind, completely baffled by Adora's appearance.
"Hehehe," this was possibly the greatest day of Glimmer's life as she saw her appearance, "okay, this is kind of amazing."
"Your reign of terror ends here, creature of darkness!" Bow declared to the high heavens, the bravery in his veins pumping without question!
"My terror has onvy vust begun, Vow!" The monster that was known to drain the blood of her victims cackled as one of her fangs sparkled at the tip. "Vou would have done vell to join me vhile you had the chance."
"I laugh at the face of evil, villain! Prepare to answer for your crimes against humanity!"
"Oh, please. Stop. STOP!" Catra couldn't bring herself to look at the scene standing before her as she pressed her palms into her eyes, face overcome with embarrassment for all she was witnessing, as she was forced to listen to this drivel. "Just get to the plan already, I'm begging!"
"Now we're all starting to hope this plan kills us." Mermista commented.
"Very vell, my darling!" With a sinister grin that could make a child cry, Adora exposed her cape as darkness and evil in pure form surrounded her. "Have vat you!" While his comrades may have been amateurs, Bow was all too knowledgeable about the mistress of evil's true form. Rising to the air, it only made too much sense that Adora's true form wasn't that of a vampire of the night.
IT WAS A BRONZE DRAGON!
...
"A dragon?!" Catra swore she was going to cough up actual hairballs from how ridiculous this was getting.
"She can do that?" Frosta blinked curiously. There was apparently still so much she didn't know about Adora if that was the case.
"Ok, admittedly, I was looking for something more monstrous, but a dragon was all I had left on hand." Bow replied, holding the dragon figurine in his right and vampiric-something in the other.
"Can you just get back to the plan here before I hang myself with my own tail?" It was a small threat, but it was starting to sound more pleasant than hearing how much more ridiculous this plan could get.
"Fine, geez, calm down." The illustrious Bow's story would have to wait for another day, he feared.
...
Back within the fantasy-realm of existence, time literally began to rewind around them up to a few seconds before Adora transformed. "We'll use Adora as our means of acquiring the fortress." Firing one of his magnificent arrows before the beast could transform, Adora was helpless as it went off in front of her, engulfing her face in a thick cloud of garlic.
"We subdue Adora inside the fortress using our powers combined!" Following the brief disorientation, Adora was helpless as she was blasted by a wave of sparkling magic, doused with gallons of water, wrapped from her knees to her shoulder in thick vines, and finally frozen with a twitching-expression stuck to her face as her entire being was covered in a block of ice.
"Afterwards, we'll teleport back outside where we'll show their captured leader," teleporting back to the outside of the castle, all the living monstrosities that filled the castle from head to toe, from zombies, to gargoyles, to werewolves, were paralyzed in fear as their master appeared before them, bound in a rope of holy magic, or Catra's sword-turned-lasso, in this case, before them, "and order them to surrender the castle in exchange for her freedom!"
"With Adora's powers weakened by sunlight, she'll be powerless to fight at her full strength outside the shadows." Pointing in all his masculinity, the monsters could only sink their heads in shame as they vacated the castle, hundreds of them carrying umbrellas to cover their heads, with the leader of the fortress bundling a dozen of large umbrellas, blocking the possibility of any sunlight touching so much as an inch of her body.
...
Clapping victoriously, Bow crossed his arms at the table as he finished regaling their future success. "And we'll take back the fortress without risking any lives in the process, and without fear of its defenses reaching us. I'd challenge any of you to come up with a flaw with my strategy." All the princesses looked to one another at this. By the time Bow regretted his decision, they each came up with single issue, going around the room, starting with Catra.
"That's assuming Adora's on the inside to start with. Chances are she'll be outside where all the defenses are."
"Adora isn't weakened in the sunlight anymore, remember? Even if she was, her shadows are still as dangerous as they were in Bright Moon and Dryl."
"There's not even a guarantee the soldiers would surrender in the first place, and Adora would just order everyone to stand their ground. We'd be sitting ducks then."
"We'll be easy to surround in the hallways if the soldiers come rushing in from both sides."
"She's going to duck out of the way of anything we throw at her, she wouldn't just wait for us all to attack her one at a time."
"The plan stinks."
"Catra, you already went!" Bow complained, feeling his plans shattered in an instant.
...
All throughout the surrounding putdowns, with each and every issue the princesses brought up, the masculinity of Bow's amazing character was powerless as they literally came crashing down on top of him. First there was several zombies, a giant rug from the hallway, a large gargoyle-like turret, Adora's massive dragon form, then finally, if he wasn't crushed yet, the fall of the blazing sun in the sky, what he hoped was still Adora's weakness, roasted him alive as it fell on him and everything atop of him.
...
"Awwww..." Bow moaned as he lowered his head to the table, watching as the tragic tale of Tiny Bow continued to increase in tragedy as it was buried under a pile of figurines. His beautiful plan, his perfectly orchestrated planning, and his flawless mustache, all went down the drain without a second thought.
Hoping to push the conversation in the right direction, Catra took the display from him as she opened it in front of herself. "So if you're done picturing yourself with a mustache, I was thinking we could-"
"My turn!" She never gave Catra a chance to finish as Perfuma swiped the display out of her hands with one of her vines. Catra could already see the curious faces of her surrounding allies looking at her as she stood from the table, waving the display with pure joy. "Alright, so here's my idea!"
As she began, Catra let out a groan mentally as she leaned on the table, rolling her eyes as she prepared for whatever ridiculous, time-wasting, plan she had to sit through next.
We're going to be surrendering ourselves at this rate, I swear...
...
...
...
A/N: And with that, we're down another chap ^^ man it still feels good to be back after all this time, loving the feedback and everything I'm getting!
Really let me know what you thought of the humor throughout the episode, or at least the planning portions, which will be easy to spot via the italicized portions of the chp. Next up we'll have the remaining princesses and everything through their plans (while I think I'll keep Mermista's the same because, lets face it, its the funniest thing ever XP), i will possibly still change any intended strategies/plans the others come up with. But let me know what you thought of these first in case you'd prefer I just stick to the originals or come up with something new.
With that said, hope you all enjoyed! Leave a like, fave, follow, and review and hope to see you soon!