Thanks for the kind reviews! They really mean the world to me! No spoilers here at all, but is anyone else thinking this is one of the best seasons of Chicago PD? I'm loving it so much!

Happy reading!

Jess made it through Danny's testimony. She even managed to listen to what he said, reliving the shooting, running through the dark streets away from the two bodies on the ground. As soon as he was off the stand, though, she stood and made her way to the door. She didn't slow down until she was outside, the fall sun bright overhead.

Her breath came in sharp gasps. Jess pressed a hand to her chest, trying to slow her heart.

"Jess!" Adam jogged down the steps to her.

Concern filled his eyes as he looked her over. "It's OK, you're OK."

Jess nodded, even as she struggled to catch her breath. "It's OK," she repeated. She even managed a shaky smile through her racing breaths. "I—I did it. Adam, I did—did it."

The worried creases on his face eased and Adam nodded. He rubbed his hands over her upper arms. "You did it."

"I didn't—" Jess tried to slow her respirations and tried again. "I didn't run."Adam's smile was warm. "Are you done running?"

Jess lifted her hands to his face, his stubble rough against her palms. "Adam, I want—"

A car door slammed. "What the hell, Ruzek?"

Jess hardly had time to look toward her angry brother before Jay pulled Adam away from her.

"Jay!" she exclaimed.

Adam didn't fight back, but didn't step away either. "Take it easy."

Jay looked at Jess' face. "What happened to you?" He swung around to Adam. "What happened to her?" he demanded.

"Are you accusing me of something, Halstead?" His eyes narrowed.

"Should I be?" Jay asked.

Adam stepped toward Jay then, but Jess put a hand on his chest. She looked at her brother. Her frustratingly overprotective brother. "Adam didn't do anything. Other than give me a place to stay. None of this is from him."

She immediately regretted her words when Jay's blue eyes hardened. "You were staying with him? He knew where you were? While I was looking everywhere for you?"

Jess winced. She looked to Adam and hoped he could read the apology on her face.

"Get in the car," Jay said.

"Jay—"

"Get in the car, Jess," he said again. "I'm taking you home."

Everything in her wanted to turn and run. Adam must have seen it on her face because he reached over and rested his hand on the small of her back. She reminded herself she was done running.

"I'm not going home with you, Jay," she said. It was a struggle to hold her feet still.

Jay looked at her like he didn't understand what she said.

"I'm going to Dad's. I'm going to stay there while I get things on track."

Jay was already shaking his head. "You tried that."

Jess lifted her chin stubbornly. "I don't need your permission."

Jay stared at her, holding her gaze. Jess didn't waver.

"Fine," he finally relented. "I'll take you to Dad's."

Feeling heady with victory, Jess pushed farther. "I'm going home with Adam to get my things."

The silence stretched as Jay stared at her. "Will and I are going to be checking on you. I don't care what you say."

Jess nodded.

With one last glare at Adam, Jay went back to his car.

Jess let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding.

"You sure about moving back to your Dad's?" Adam asked.

"No," Jess said honestly. "But I need to try. I need to get my life together."

Adam didn't argue. He folded his larger hand around hers and Jess relished the warmth. "You call any time. I'm not going to let you hit bottom."

With a nod, Jess promised. She sealed it with a kiss, pressing her lips against Adam's.

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Routine. Routine had become her friend. Meetings on Monday mornings, Wednesday nights, and Friday nights. A run along the chilly lakeshore on Monday, Thursday, and Friday afternoons. Quiet afternoons with Adam on Saturdays and Sundays and whenever his schedule freed up during the week. And it was working. The craving for pills was less frequent. Less intense.

"Did you get to your meetings?"

Jess didn't bother fighting against the eye roll Will's question prompted. This part of her new routine she could do without. "I went to three this week. Just like last week. And the week before that."

Will smiled and ignored her tone. "I'm proud of you, Jess. You're pulling through like a real Halstead."

Jess pulled her clothes from the dryer and stuffed them into a laundry basket. The dryer door closing was loud in the otherwise quiet basement of their dad's house.

Will reached over and took the full basket from her. "Looks like more than what will fit in your duffel bag."

New clothes. A sign of her new life. Jess didn't tell Will that, just shrugged off his observation.

He carried the basket to the kitchen table where Jess pulled out a shirt to fold. Will reached for one and paused.

"New fashion statement?" he asked.

The shirt had a CPD vs CFD softball logo on the front. Ruzek was clearly emblazoned across the back.

Jess grabbed Adam's shirt from Will and quickly folded it. Adam would be over soon and she would give it to him then. She tried to squelch the smile that pulled at her lips when she thought of the news she had for him.

Will was studying her face intently. Jess lifted her eyebrows. "What?"

"You look good, Jess," he said sincerely. "I'm proud of you."

Uncomfortable with the praise, in spite of the warmth in her chest at his words, Jess shrugged him off. "That makes one of you," she muttered.

"One of who?" Jay demanded, coming through the back door.

Instantly Jess stiffened. She shoved Adam's shirt under another shirt, a move that she knew wasn't lost on Will.

"One of my brothers who isn't a pain in the—"

"OK, you two can ease up until I leave," Will said. "Do you want to tell me what has the two of you at a stand off?"

A knock and then a call from the front door interrupted the stare down between Jess and Jay.

"Hey darlin'! I picked up pizza. And brought your jacket, you left it at my place last—"

Adam's voice trailed off as he came into the kitchen and saw both Halstead brothers.

"Hey Will," he said. "Jay."

Jay didn't answer, just stared at Adam, his jaw tight.

Will stepped forward and held out a hand. "Hey, Adam. Good to see you again."

Adam shook his hand. Jess darted a look toward Jay.

His voice even, too controlled, Jay raised his eyebrows at Jess. "You left your coat at Ruzek's? When were you over there?"

"I didn't want to get into this with you, Jay," Jess said. She fisted her hands and took a breath. "Things are going good for me. Finally. And Adam's been by me the whole time. I…" She glanced at Adam, feeling tears push at the back of her eyes. "I love him," she muttered, too scared to look at Adam and see his reaction.

A familiar hand was taking hers, tugging her toward him. Adam's eyes were warm when she met them.

"Jay," Will said under his breath. A warning to take a beat, not jump toward Adam.
Jay's entire body was tense, his eyes locked on Adam.
Before she had to hear Adam's answer, or worse, his lack of one, Jess took a deep breath and spilled her news. "I got a job." She kept her eyes trained on her feet, unwilling to look up and see Jay's disapproval. She was only a month sober, he wasn't going to be thrilled with her mixing up her routine.

"That's great, Jess," Will said. "Did they hire you back at the pizza place? You loved working there in high school."

Jess rubbed her palms along the side of her jeans. "Um, no. It's a medic job." She could hear Jay draw a breath, ready to argue. She finally looked up and met his eyes. "It's what I know, Jay. What I'm trained to do."

Jay's jaw was set, his eyebrows raised. "You're going to work as a medic in Chicago? You're trading one war zone for another?"

"I…" Jess paused for another breath.

"What happens when you get called for your first gun shot victim? I can guarantee it will happen your first shift. What happens when the sight of the blood triggers a flashback? When you can't cope and turn back to using?"

Annoyance flashed quickly and Jess snapped, "Or maybe I won't have a flashback, Jay. Maybe I can deal with it. Maybe I was a good medic in Afghanistan and I can be a good medic again!"

Her words rang out in the tense silence that filled the kitchen.

Adam broke the loaded silence quietly, "Where are you working?"

Jess hesitated and Jay's blue eyes hardened. "Please tell me it's on the North side. Lincoln Park? Edison Park?"

"Firehouse 51," Jess said. When Jay opened his mouth again, Jess cut him off. "It's not the worst area," she reminded him. "And it's definitely no worse than the places your job takes you." Seeing that Adam looked about as convinced as her brothers, she tacked on, "Both of you."

"That's different!" Jay insisted, voice rising again.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Jess answered, shouting back at him. "I didn't realize you were in a different US Army than I was!"

"OK, let's just take a minute," Will said. "Jess, what about the stress of the job? What if it gets to you?"

She didn't want to answer to them. She didn't want to be their baby sister who they thought couldn't handle herself. She finally muttered the truth. "I told the chief about it. About everything. He's willing to give me a try."

"Chief Boden's a good guy," Adam said. He still looked concerned, but looked at Jay. "He takes care of his people."

Jay was shaking his head again.

"It doesn't matter what any of you thinks," Jess declared. "I got the job, I'm taking it, and I start tomorrow." She grabbed her basket of laundry and headed toward the stairs at the front of the house. "Thanks for your support. All three of you and your faith in me has been great. Really touching."

She heard Will and Adam call out after her, but let her anger carry her up the stairs, slamming her bedroom door behind her.

She dropped the basket of clothing on the floor and leaned back against the door. Her hands trembled as she lifted them to cover her face.

She had been so sure she could do this, that she was ready. She reminded herself that she was ready.

"I'm ready. I can do this," she told herself. The words rang hollow, her hands shook harder.

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