I loved reading your reviews for the last chapter! Thank you so much for the kind feedback (and venting your well-deserved frustration with Jay!)
Chapter 27
"What the hell, Halstead?" Erin asked. She came storming into the bullpen, both barrels blazing. "Platt told me you and Ruzek were almost arrested this morning for harassing Jess? And brawling on her lawn?" She slung her jacket onto her desk chair and stood over Jay, hands propped on her hips.
"Platt's being dramatic," Jay muttered, not looking at Erin, keeping his eyes on his computer screen.
"No, that's pretty much what we found happening," Dawson said from his desk.
Erin stared down at Jay. He set his jaw and didn't look up. Erin finally gripped his desk chair and wheeled it back. She bent down, her face right in Jay's. "What are you doing, Jay?"
"I'm looking out for my sister," he said. "I'm doing what I should have—" his voice caught. "What I should have been doing for the last four years."
That's when Erin saw it. Behind the defiance, Jay's eyes were dark with guilt.
Erin pulled back. "C'mon, Jay," she said, nodding toward the breakroom. She stood, not giving him an option.
Jay finally stood and followed her. She shut the door behind them. "You can't keep doing this," she said softly.
"What? Protecting my sister? Being there for her?"
Erin let out a disbelieving, humorless laugh. "This isn't being there for her, Halstead. This is driving her away. This is hurting her."
Jay didn't say anything. Erin took his hands in hers, relieved when he didn't pull away. She gave his hands a squeeze. "She needs you. She needs you to support her. To tell her you're proud of her. To be there if she asks for help."
"I know what she's going through. I know what she saw over there," Jay said hoarsely.
"I know," murmured Erin. "And that's why you're a good person to be there if she needs to talk. But you need to step back and give her some space."
"Erin, she's my baby sister." Jay finally met her eyes. "I don't want her to hurt anymore."
Erin pressed her lips together to keep from telling Jay that he was the one hurting her. Instead she rubbed her thumbs over the backs of his hands. "Then take a step back. Let her figure things out and be there if she needs you."
Jay was shaking his head. "I can't do—"
"Jay," Erin said firmly. "Either you figure out how to do that, or you're going to lose her completely."
#
Jess pulled on her shoes. Her phone chimed again and she didn't look at it. Another text from Adam asking her to call him and she was going to ignore it like she had the last fifteen calls and texts he had sent throughout the day. She was going to meet up with Brett and the rest of 51 at Molly's and she wasn't going to think about Jay or Adam.
She pulled on a jacket and grabbed her purse. Molly's was a short ride on the el. She just wanted to get there and have a distraction from what Jay had told her about Adam.
Jess jogged through the cold to the el station. She swiped her card at the turnstile and climbed the steps, her shoes clanging lightly on the metal steps. She wished she had brought mittens, tucking her hands deeper into her jacket pockets.
Someone jostled against her on the platform and Jess pulled away, bumping into someone on her other side. The crowd made her nervous. Any one of them could have an IED strapped to—
She cut that thought off. This was Chicago. She wasn't in Afghanistan anymore. The reminder did little to slow her pounding heart. The train pulled up and the doors slid open. Jess intently watched each person exiting, looking for any sign they were the enemy. Inside the train car, she pushed her way to the back corner, walls at her back and to her left, where she didn't have to worry about anyone coming up on her. Her palms were clammy.
The first three stops had her vibrating with tension, watching every new passenger that got on. There was a teen boy, his blond hair shaggy and in his eyes, at the other end of the car. His foot tapped quickly and he kept reaching for something inside his jacket.
The train slid to a stop, the recorded voice overhead calmly announcing the stop. Jess quickly shoved her way to the doors, not waiting for them to fully open before she slipped outside. She ran down the steps and away from the Friday night crowds heading toward the station. Rounding a corner and finding herself alone, Jess finally stopped and leaned against a building, gulping in deep breaths of the cold night air.
Her phone ranged, making her jump. Without thinking, Jess pulled it out and answered without checking caller ID.
"Jess? Hey."
Mouse's voice brought her back to the present. Away from the kid on the train who was probably nervous because he was carrying joints or a fake ID, not a bomb.
"Mouse," she said. Her voice shook.
He picked up on it. "You OK?"
"I'm—I'm fine," she lied. She pressed a shaking hand to her chest, willing her heartbeat to slow.
"I heard about this morning. I wanted to make sure you were alright. See if you need to talk. If you need a ride to a meeting."
Jess shook her head, even though Mouse couldn't see her. "I'm fine," she said again, her voice steadier this time. "I'm just on my way out with my partner from 51. I'm meeting her at Molly's."
The silence before Mouse spoke was loaded. "You sure that's a good idea? A bar?" he asked gently.
"Yeah, it's fine. I've got things under control." Jess looked down at her shaking hand before shoving it out of sight in her pocket.
"You'll call if you need anything?" Mouse asked.
"Yeah, sure."
"Jess," Mouse's voice was serious. She could picture his brow wrinkling with his concern. "I still care about you. You can call anytime."
"I know," she answered quietly, not brushing his words off lightly. "You're a good friend, Mouse."
She disconnected the call, feeling steadier than when she had run off the el. She started quickly down the street. She had gotten off two stops early and would have to walk several blocks to Molly's.
Mouse's concern repeated itself. She shook her head. She was fine, things were under control, she reminded herself. Going to Molly's was not a big deal. Drinks with new friends wasn't the same as going to score pills in some dark corner of the park. She was fine, things were under control. Her hands shook and she fisted them deeper in her pockets.
#
Adam listened to Jess's phone go to voicemail. Again. He had driven by her dad's house after work, but kept going when he saw that Voight had stationed Dawson there.
"Jess, it's Adam. Look, if you need space, I get it. But I need to make sure you at least know the truth before you shut me out. Jay was wrong, he had it all wrong. Just…give me a call. I'm worried about you." Adam sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. He checked his watch. It was almost midnight.
Worry for Jess had him pacing another lap around his apartment. Finally unable to stand it anymore, he grabbed his keys and headed down the stairs.
Dawson was no longer outside the Halstead home, and there were no lights on. Adam parked outside, looking for any sign of movement in Jess' window.
His phone buzzed with a call. "Ruzek," he answered.
"It's Mouse."
Adam didn't want to be called in for a case. Not tonight. He needed to find Jess. "I can't come in right now."
"That's not what I'm calling about. Look, Ruzek, you need to get down here. To Molly's, I mean." Mouse's words were grim.
Adam started his car and pulled out. "What is it?"
"It's Jess. Get down here." Mouse clicked off the phone.
Adam pressed his booted foot down on the accelerator, his car picking up speed, racing through the darkened neighborhood streets. He gripped the steering wheel, forcing his thoughts only on the task at hand. Get to Jess. No room for what-if's or wondering what had happened. Just get to Jess.
The street outside Molly's was almost empty of cars. Adam parked at an illegal angle and got out, sprinting up to the building. He opened the door and scanned the nearly deserted bar. He didn't recognize the bartender, some new college kid Hermann had hired.
"Back here," a voice called.
Adam ran to the back of the bar. Will was just ahead of him, heading to the open the door to the women's restroom and Adam pushed his way in after him.
Jess was slumped on the floor, propped up against the wall. Mouse and Natalie knelt next to her.
The door swung shut behind Adam, shutting out the quiet music from the bar. The fluorescent lights overhead buzzed, giving Jess' skin a ghostly glow.
Natalie glanced up at Will. "I found her like this. She doesn't want me to call an ambulance."
Mouse's dark hair fell across his forehead as he leaned down to talk to Jess. "Jess, you still with us? You awake?"
"Go away," she slurred, turning her head away from him.
"I knew she was coming here," Mouse said, looking from Will to Adam. "I should have gotten here earlier. I asked her if this was a good idea. I should have…" he gathered himself and slowed his words. "She was fine. She had just a couple shots with the rest of her firehouse crew. She looked fine, I thought maybe she was right and could handle things."
Natalie kept a hand on Jess' wrist, feeling her pulse. She glanced up at Will. "They headed home and she went out back. I didn't think anything of it Will. I'm sorry, I should have realized…"
"She bought pills out there," Will filled in the blanks.
Natalie handed him a bottle from the floor next to Jess. "I don't know how many she took. But her respirations are steady, her pulse is 60. Do you want to take her to Med?" Her brown eyes were filled with concern.
Will already had his phone out of his pocket. "I can't believe you didn't call an ambulance." His words were sharp.
Mouse met Adam's eyes and Adam saw the concern. He understood why they hadn't called an ambulance. He reached over and took Will's phone before the call went through.
"What are you doing?"
Adam held up a hand, asking Will to slow down. "If she goes to Med, word gets back to 51. And Jess loses everything she's worked for. For one slip-up."
"Yeah, well it's a hell of a slip-up," Will said.
"Let's just get her home, let her sleep it off," Adam said. "Then we can figure out what to do next." He held his breath, not wanting to push Will too hard, but knowing he would do whatever it took to protect Jess. Protect what she had been working so hard toward.
"Will," Natalie said softly. "Her vitals are stable. She can sleep this off."
Will stared down at Jess, then knelt down. "Jess," he said softly. "What are you doing to yourself?"
She opened heavy eyelids and looked at him. "Will?"
"Yeah, I'm here, kiddo."
"Don't call an ambulance," she mumbled. "I shouldn't have…shouldn't…" Her eyes drifted shut again.
Will let out a resigned sigh. "We're not taking her to our dad's house," he finally said.
"Take her to my place," Adam offered. "She has some of her things there." Mouse moved back and let Adam crouch down and scoop Jess' limp body up. He stood. He looked to Will, waiting for agreement.
Will gave a slight nod. "I'll ride with you."
Adam carried Jess out of the bathroom, Will alongside him. Natalie waved to the concerned barkeeper. "Just too much to drink," she assured her. "She's fine."
Adam carefully put Jess in the backseat of his car. Will slid in after her, letting her lean against him. Adam got in the front seat, adjusting his mirror to keep an eye on Jess.
Mouse shut the back door and took a step back. Adam started the car, then rolled down his window. "Thanks for calling me, man. For looking out for her."
Mouse nodded. "Anytime." His gaze drifted to Jess in the backseat, mumbling something incoherent. He shoved his hands down in his pocket and turned to go back into Molly's, shoulders slumped forward.
Adam shifted into gear and pulled out, his drive home from Molly's at a slower, less panicked pace than the drive there had been.
Finding a parking spot on the street outside his apartment, Adam got out and pulled open the back door. He leaned in to lift Jess out.
As he straightened, Jess' lashes fluttered and she looked at him through a haze. "Adam?" she breathed out.
"I've got you, Darlin'," he assured her, letting Will close the car door.
"I'm not…not mad…" she said.
Adam paused at the door to the apartment building. He bent his head down to hear her.
"Just hurt…" she said, the words slurring together. "Hurts to love you."
The words were too soft to yield the sharp punch in the chest they did.
"Just took something…something to stop…stop hurting…"
"Let's go," Will said, missing Jess' faint words and holding the door open.
Gathering Jess more closely against him, Adam carried her inside, her words continuing to stab him even after her eyes fell shut again.
#