Once again you made a comment, LostCause, and I liked it. :) So I went with your idea. Thanks so much for your kind comments!
Chapter 35
Jess shook her head. She needed to focus, to do her job. Brett guided the ambulance into the familiar neighborhood.
"What was the address for this call?" Jess asked. She didn't want to know.
Brett glanced at the computer screen mounted between them.
Adam's address.
Jess didn't ask the apartment number. She knew. She knew exactly who was the person down, and it wasn't from unknown causes. It was from sheer stubborn refusal to accept what the doctors were telling him.
"Halstead?" Brett asked when Jess stayed silent.
Jess couldn't answer. She waited for Brett to park the ambulance in front of Adam's apartment building and braced herself.
She felt Brett's glances at her as they carried their jump bags up the stairs. She could tell her partner wanted to ask her something, but she held back. When Brett lifted a hand to knock on the door, Jess turned the knob and swung it open.
"Adam?" she called.
"In here," called a voice deeper than Adam's.
Atwater was seated at the small kitchen table, his casted leg stretched out in front of him. Jess scanned the narrow kitchen, then looked back to Atwater. He nodded toward the floor next to him.
"They sent you." Adam frowned at Jess, then turned back to Atwater. "I told you she would get the call. I told you not to call."
"And I told you, I'm not leaving you on the floor." Atwater lifted his large frame out of the chair with the aid of his crutches. "Hey Brett, hey Jess," he greeted the paramedics. "I can't get him up without ending up on the floor with him." He motioned toward his cast.
"I'm fine," Adam said sharply before Jess could say anything. He reached for the chair next to him. "I told Kev to call Dawson, or…"
"You mean the Dawson with the concussion?" Atwater asked. "Or Halstead who's still in the hospital? Maybe Lindsay who is at the hospital with her boyfriend? Not a lot of options, bro."
Jess hesitated, the anger radiating from Adam keeping her at bay. "In other words, call anyone but the CFD because you want anyone but me here."
"Yes!" Adam finally exploded. "I want anyone but my girlfriend seeing me like this! Seeing me helpless and crippled and—and weak!"
Jess tried not to flinch at his anger. She set her jump bag down and knelt next to him. "Did you hurt yourself anywhere when you fell?" she asked, no emotion, all business and not letting the hurt in.
Adam refused to look at her. "I'm fine," he bit out. "I just—just—I can't get up on my own," he ground out through gritted teeth.
Jess rested a hand on his leg and leaned in. She waited until he finally looked at her. "You will," she whispered. "It's going to take time. But you will."
Adam's jaw clenched.
Jess rested a hand on his face, his stubble scratching her palm. "Let me help you," she said.
Adam drew in a ragged breath. Finally he nodded.
Brett slid the table over so she could get in next to them. Jess and Brett each took one of Ruzek's arms over their shoulders.
"On three," Brett said. "One, two…three."
Jess could tell Adam was giving it everything he had to try to stand. And it wasn't quite enough. She and Brett bore the brunt of the lift and managed to get him into a chair.
Jess looked behind her for his wheelchair and saw only his walker. She raised her eyebrows, but didn't say anything to Adam. She could only imagine how he was managing getting around dragging himself behind his walker.
"Do you need anything else?" she asked.
"My pride," Adam muttered.
Atwater shuffled a few steps toward the door on his crutches. "Hey, Brett, you want to give me a non emergency number to call?" he asked.
Brett readily agreed and followed him out of the room.
Alone in the kitchen, Jess stared at Adam. He fisted his hands and didn't say anything.
"Please talk to me," she said, her voice breaking.
"This is too much for you," Adam finally said. He finally looked her straight in the eye.
"No," Jess said, shaking her head. "Adam, I'm here no matter—"
"You shouldn't be!" he cut her off, his words echoing in the stillness of the kitchen. Taking a long breath, he spoke quietly. "You just got clean. You're doing well, so well, Darlin' and I'm so proud of you." He leaned forward. "And I don't want to be the person who sets you back."
"You're not going to—" Jess tried again, but Adam framed her face in his hands.
"Jess, I'm barely holding it together here. And you've been right with me through all of this. I can imagine how bad you need a fix. I don't want to be the reason you fall back into using."
She didn't want Adam to know that his words had found her weak spot and were trying to force her to face what she had been using all her reserves to bury for the past week.
Adam's eyes softened when she didn't argue.
"What are you saying?" she finally managed to ask past the tightness in her throat.
"I'm saying you need to let Will and Jay take care of you. Go to a meeting, go for a run, do what you need to do to take care of yourself." He dropped his hands from her face and sat back in his chair, defeated. "And I'll do what I need to do to get my life back."
"Without me." Jess' lips were numb as she formed the words.
"For you," Adam said, a spark coming back into his eyes. "To be what you need. Who you deserve."
Jess started to shake her head. She wasn't agreeing to…whatever this was that Adam was suggesting. She needed him. She opened her mouth to tell him, but Brett interrupted.
"We have another call," she said. She winced apologetically.
Jess met Adam's stare. She saw the desperation and fear behind his decision.
She grabbed the jump bag and stood. "I don't agree," she finally said.
"That's not—you can't say that," Adam argued.
"I just did," Jess said. She followed Brett to the door. She paused by Atwater on her way out. "Please," she started, not sure what to say to Adam's best friend. "Convince him to not be an idiot," she finally said.
#
Adam laid on the couch staring at the ceiling. He didn't regret telling Jess they needed time away from each other. That she needed time away from him. That's what he had really meant.
He pushed himself up to sitting. It had been three days. Three miserable days of ignoring her texts and phone calls, refusing to open the door to her.
And three days of calling Mouse to check on her, make sure she was going to her meetings, that she was holding it together.
He stared down at his legs. He had more control over them. More strength coming back. He reached out for his walker, but instead of grabbing it, he shoved it aside.
He gripped the arm of the couch and with a groan, pushed himself up to stand. He stood. Sweat beaded his upper lip. He huffed out a breath, and moved his right leg. He got it forward, shifted his weight.
It held under him. He used everything in him to get his left leg forward.
Two steps.
Three steps.
His breath came out a sharp gasp when he couldn't make it a fourth and he reached out for the armchair, making it onto it before he collapsed. His chest rose and fell with the exertion. But he had done it. Three steps. He was three steps closer to getting his life back.
#
Jess held the door open and waited for Jay to stiffly make his way into his apartment.
"Erin said she'd be over as soon as she can," Jess said. "They caught a case."
Jay gave her a half smile. "I'm glad you're here," he said.
Jess blinked at the tears that threatened. "I'm so glad you're home," she said. She didn't want to think about how close she had been to losing her brother. And his girlfriend. And Adam.
"What?" Jay asked, easing himself down onto the couch, one arm in a sling and the other pressed protectively against his ribs.
"Nothing," Jess said, pushing forward a smile. "I'll call for takeout. What do you want?"
Jay shook his head, not letting her change the subject. "Something's wrong."
"Nothing's wrong," Jess insisted, opening the drawer he kept his takeout menus in. "Do you want pizza?" She shuffled through the stack of menus. "Gianni's doesn't deliver, but I can go pick it up."
She jumped when Jay plucked the menu from her hand.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"You shouldn't be up," she said. "Come on, you need to sit."
Jay leaned heavily against the counter, but refused to move. "Not until you tell me what's going on."
Jess firmed her jaw, tried to keep it together. "It's Adam," she finally said.
Jay straightened and sucked in a breath through his teeth, pressing a hand against his ribs. "What did he do?"
"Nothing," Jess said. "It's nothing."
"It's something." Jay studied her, the tight lines of his face softening. "I want to help."
"Jay, you can barely move." Jess reached for his arm, trying to gently tug him towards the living room.
"I can listen," he said, refusing to budge.
Jess looked toward the window. The late morning traffic below them was light, the late fall sun weak in a gray sky.
"He doesn't want me," she said.
"He what?" Jay barked. "After you were at his side through—"
"It's not like that," Jess cut him off. "He thinks he's doing me a favor. Not letting me be with him. As if it was no big deal that he was there with me when I was trying to get sober, finding me when I was living on the street, staying up with me while I detoxed," Jess' voice rose, shaking as she remembered everything Adam had been by her side for. "But he thinks I shouldn't have to be—to be chained to him while he's struggling!" She slapped a hand on the granite counter. "I want to be there for him. I want to be with him!"
She paced across the room and swung around, facing Jay, waiting for him to say something against Adam, that she was better off without him.
Jay was silent, his face unreadable.
"Let's go," he said, decision made.
"What?" Jess asked.
It wasn't hard to catch up to him, moving slowly and painfully toward the door. He took his keys off the table by the door and started down the hallway.
Bewildered, Jess locked the door behind them and fell into step with her brother. "Go where?" she tried again.
"To set Adam straight," Jay said, jaw clenched.
#