Some more Gene Butler because I can. A different type of chapter this time, hope you don't mind!
I'm wondering how exactly you are all picturing this man I made up. I have a pretty clear image of him in my head but I haven't been able to find a picture online yet that does him justice. He's 37, white, tall, dark hair and dark eyes. Any suggestions? My Twitter feed is always open :) If I get a few pictures maybe we can do a poll!
8. Need
Olivia is humming a song that's been stuck in her head all day after she'd heard it on the car radio. She is clearing her desk and putting her things in her locker after a long Monday. When she feels her partner's eyes on her, she turns around and looks at him with a question in her eyes.
Elliot shrugs and gives her a half smile.
"Just wondering why you're in such a good mood," he offers.
"You'd prefer a bad mood?" Olivia questions.
"No no. Not at all," Elliot is quick to say as he stands up to follow her lead and put his files away for the night. "Just wondering, you know …"
He trails off and Olivia knows only too well what he means. He wants to know if it has to do with the guy she's been dating. She has taken great care not to mention to anyone who she has or hasn't been seeing, or the fact that there was someone else for a few weeks. So as far as her coworkers know, she's been dating the same guy for almost five months now. It has to be a new record and they're curious.
Olivia can't really blame them. Unfortunately, she has nothing to tell them and nobody to introduce to them. She can't very well drag Gene to their regular bar and tell them she's been screwing him every chance she's gotten for a while now and there's nothing more to it, can she?
It's not like they see each other every weekend anyway. She isn't the only one Gene sleeps with and he has encouraged her to not give up on dating. She's told him she won't but as it turns out, she isn't dating at all. Not that she had an active dating life before due to her impossible working hours but she finds herself not even trying anymore. Her mind wanders to Gene more and more and it's frustrating. That wasn't supposed to happen. He was just supposed to be a hookup for a few fun nights but now he's stuck in her head. She can't wait to see him again to pick up where they left off last time and now that she knows she will see him in two days, she is in a good mood indeed.
"Well, I'm just happy with my life. Is that so strange?" Olivia finally tells her partner as she closes the last of her drawers and goes to get her coat.
"Um … it kind of is," Elliot says quietly.
Olivia turns around and Elliot almost bumps into her on his way to grab his own coat.
"What?"
"Well … you know …" Elliot hesitates and she knows he's right, even if he isn't actually saying what he's thinking.
She's never been happy with the hand life has dealt her and while she has always tried to make the best of it, to turn the tragedy of her conception and subsequent crappy childhood into something positive for survivors of abuse, she's never really felt free to enjoy life.
Until now.
It's just sex, she's told herself a thousand times, but she knows that whatever it is, it's having a more profound impact on her life than she had expected. If it was just sex, she could be with anyone. So, bottom line: it's not just sex. It's him, too.
Gene Butler.
She doesn't just long for good sex anymore. She longs for good sex with Gene. She's never been with anyone who knows her body like he does and pleasing him, making him feel good, has become a huge part of things too. He is so good to her that she just wants to give that back to him.
Sometimes when they are out together and she catches him watching her, she thinks he could come to care for her. She has to remind herself he is probably just as sweet to his other women, and just as attuned to their needs as he is to hers. She shouldn't try to read anything into his looks and touches and even his words because he's been very honest with her from the very start. It's just sex and companionship. He's not relationship material and won't commit to one woman.
And yet, she's in a good mood because he's called her and they've agreed to meet on Wednesday evening. It's in the middle of a week that he's spending in Manhattan so she knows he's probably going out with someone else tonight. Still, she's looking forward to seeing him in two days. That's probably why she's feeling so happy right now.
"Yeah," she says vaguely, hoping her partner will drop the non-subject for now.
"Well … good for you," she hears him say and that puts a wide smile on her face.
"Thanks."
"If he hurts you, let me know and I'll break his legs for ya," Elliot says, and she chuckles, knowing he's only half joking.
"Don't," she says, trying for a stern tone but they are both smiling.
"As long as he's good to you," Elliot finishes.
She nods and purses her lips, turning away from her partner to head for the exit. She doesn't really know what to say to that. Gene is good to her when they're together, but he isn't hers. She knows that's not what Elliot thinks, and it wouldn't be what he wants for her. He genuinely wants her to be happy, she knows this.
Her partner falls into step next to her and she knows he is still curious. But she doesn't know what to tell him. She isn't in a real relationship at all. She just has a fuck buddy. And that fuck buddy is the one who is causing her to sing on the job and to feel happy and content.
She groans inwardly. This wasn't part of the plan ...
…
"Yes mother … yes mother, I know … Alright. I'll let you know."
While listening to his mother on the phone, Gene glances at the middle-aged blonde that had slipped out of his hotel bed and into the shower earlier. She's now coming back into the room, her hair pinned up to keep it dry and wrapped in a white fluffy towel, giving him a sultry smile. He knows she has to go because her husband is expecting her home before ten. Late night board meeting, she'd told him, like she usually does when she comes to his hotel room on Tuesdays. It's her way of staying fit and young, she says, so her husband won't start looking for a younger woman like so many men his age do when they hit a midlife crisis. Gene isn't in the habit of hitting on married women but there had been no way around this one. She has been in the lead from the start; not that he's complaining. Jeanne is a force to be reckoned with and she is refreshingly different from the rest. She's bold and she loves to ravage him. Variety, that's his thing, he tells himself once more.
He listens to his mother's voice as Mrs. Butler goes on about the upcoming Big Butler Bash as he calls it. It's an annual tradition his parents started years ago, inviting all their friends, a few business associates as well as the family members they can stand to their estate for an entire weekend of good food, cocktails, live music and dancing. Part of it is to raise funds for a charity of his mother's choosing, and part of it is just to have a great time with as many people as possible. Money is no object in the Butler household and his mom likes to show off her gardens, that are enormous and always well-kept, by herself and a crew of gardeners.
"If you could just stick to one girl for a few days that would be great darling," Mrs. Butler chides her son gently.
She knows he plans to be a bachelor forever and switches 'lady friends' regularly, although he hopes she doesn't know the extent of it. She's stopped bugging him for grandchildren a few years ago but he knows she is still holding out some hope in that regard. His two brothers will have to provide the grandchildren though. Not him.
"Well, that depends on who else you're inviting, mom," he tells his mother while winking at Jeanne, who has started getting dressed almost like a reversed striptease.
His mother mutters on a bit longer about his roving eye and he ends up promising her he'll bring a nice girl to the weekend before ending the call.
"I couldn't possibly leave home for an entire weekend, honey," Jeanne says, sauntering up to him, and Gene grins.
"That's alright baby. I'm sure I can find someone."
The truth is, he already knows who he wants to invite and he's seeing her tomorrow.
Olivia.
She's been on his mind more than he had expected lately. In fact, he always looks forward enormously to seeing her again. He's even thought a few times that he spotted her in the crowd on the streets of New York, and had felt very disappointed when it hadn't been her every time.
Her phone number has climbed considerably in his contact list on his phone over the past few months and after he's seen Jeanne out, he can't suppress a smile when he sees Olivia's name light up his screen. She's sent him a text.
'What should I wear tomorrow? Casual or formal?'
His first thought is that she should wear as little as possible but he knows she wants to know what they will be doing before they fall into bed together, so she can dress properly.
'Let's keep it casual this time' he texts back.
He plans to just walk along the river with her for a while, breathe in the evening air now that the weather is improving. If summer kicks in like it seems to be doing, they will have clear skies during the Big Butler Bash in three and a half weeks and long, warm nights. He can already imagine Olivia between the silk sheets of his room at the estate and he hopes she'll accept his invitation. He's sure she will qualify as a nice girl in his mother's eyes.
...
He takes her text to mean that she's just as eager to see him again as he is to see her. Why else would she text him a whole day in advance? His own disappointment hits him like a ton of bricks when she has to cancel at the last minute because of her work.
"I'm so sorry but I can't get away now," she tells him over the phone. "This case … it's just … I can't leave."
There is despair in her voice and he can't help wondering about the case she's working on. She won't tell him, of course. He's just a corroborating witness in another case. He has no business knowing anything about her work beyond that and normally, they don't discuss it at all. Still, he wonders and he worries, because Olivia really sounds shaken up.
"I'm here if you need to talk," he hears himself say and he means it.
"Thanks Gene," Olivia says quietly, almost whispering, and then she hangs up.
Gene swallows hard. He is disappointed that he won't see her tonight but he also feels concern for her wellbeing. He wishes he could do something to help; anything so she won't sound so lost and desperate. He is used to being in the know and in charge, but his kinds of contacts can't help him with this. Nobody will tell him about an ongoing investigation at the NYPD and even if he knew what the case was, what could he do? He shakes his head as he walks to the minibar in his hotel room and pulls out a bottle of scotch. He's bummed that he won't get to see Olivia and he can't shake off the feeling that she's upset. He pours himself a glass and takes a sip, letting the strong liquor burn his throat. Maybe he should go out for a walk alone along the river, he thinks. He doesn't feel like calling another friend to take Olivia's place tonight. He had wanted to ask her if she'd come to the estate with him for the Big Butler Bash, but that will have to wait too.
This sucks.
As he strolls along the Hudson a while later, his mind keeps going back to Olivia, wondering how she's doing and what could have her so rattled. He finds himself wanting to go to the police station to see her but tells himself to stop thinking like that. She may not even be there if she's chasing a suspect of something horrible. He stares out over the water for a while, watching the sun set, and wishing she was with him to see it. He can just imagine the golden glow on her face in this light, her full lips slightly parted and moist from the wine he had planned to bring along; her perfect face framed by her dark locks and her dark eyes reflecting the orange, red and purple colors of the sky.
He suddenly feels alone and it's a new feeling. He's never felt alone before, companions always being just a phone call away. He had wanted to be here with her tonight, not someone else.
After a while he decides to send her another text on his way back to the hotel.
'I'll be here if you need some company later on.'
He hangs around the hotel bar for a while. One of the other guests seems interested in him but he waves her off. He doesn't know if Olivia has even read his text but he wants to be available for her tonight if she needs him.
He scoffs inwardly at himself. Need him? Need him? Who is he kidding. She's with him for the sex, not to be comforted or to bare her soul to him about a harrowing case. She has friends for that, he assumes.
He doesn't hear from her that night or the next morning. He has a few meetings himself but during lunch, after checking his phone once again and not finding a message or a missed call, he decides to just call her himself from the restaurant after his companion leaves for his next meeting. She doesn't pick up until the fourth ring and sounds exhausted when he hears her say,
"Hey you."
"Hey yourself. How are you doing? Still working?" Gene asks.
"Yeah. We pulled an all-nighter. I'm really sorry about last night."
"It's okay Olivia. I understand. Did you solve the case you were working on?"
Olivia is silent then and Gene gets and odd feeling of dread when she stays silent for a few long seconds.
"Olivia?" he asks, and he can hear the insecurity in his own voice.
"Yeah. Yeah, we got him," she finally says, but her voice sounds very dejected.
"You don't sound happy about it," Gene remarks.
"No …"
He swears he hears tears in her voice now and he sits up, leaning forward on the table.
"What's wrong baby," he asks her softly.
"We were too late," he hears her whisper and now he knows she's holding back tears. "The little girl was already dead."
She sniffles and then adds,
"Maybe it's for the best after what he did to her but … God, she was only four ... and her parents ..."
He wishes he was with her now so he could wrap his arms around her, and he asks her,
"Is there anything I can do for you? Do you want me to come over?"
There is silence on the other end of the line again.
…
Olivia feels utterly drained. After working all day and night to catch the bastard who had taken a four-year old, they had found them too late. She just wants to curl up in a ball and cry for a while. And now Gene is calling. Her fuck buddy. Offering to come over. And however unexpected his offer is, all she can think is how desperately she wants to have his arms around her right now. She wants to cry even harder thinking about it. She knows he won't ask her any questions that she can't answer anyway and before she can change her mind or start overthinking it, she's sighed,
"Please."
The surrender in her voice, the sheer vulnerability, rocks him to the core.
"Where are you now?" he asks her, already on his feet and grabbing his jacket.
"Just packing up to go home."
"I'll meet you there."
Gene waves at the Maitre D', who knows to put the lunch on his tab and then he's off to Olivia's. He'll cancel his next meeting on the way over. All he knows is that he needs to be with her. Nothing else matters right now.
…
Well well …
Review, anyone?