A/N- Thanks to Elliesamdeangirl for the idea for this one!
"Sam, what the hell is this?" Dean asked pulling out a folded wad of cash from the side of his duffle bag.
Sam shrugged in response, not looking up from his book, "Dad must have left it."
Dean glared at his brother, "I thought I told you not to do this shit anymore Sam!" he yelled, throwing the cash back into his duffle hard enough to knock the bag onto the floor.
"What Dean? I was trying to help." Sam said, annoyance clear in his voice.
"I don't need your help!" Dean yelled back, turning his back on his brother and struggling to contain his temper.
"Dean I..." Adam spoke up from across the room, hovering in the doorframe of bathroom, wanting to defend Sam but afraid to provoke his oldest brother.
"You shut up." Dean snarled at him, "Sam, I goddamn told you not to do this shit anymore! It's dangerous."
"It's not dangerous Dean," Sam said, rolling his eyes.
"The hell it's not Sammy!" Dean exclaimed, "I told you not to do it!"
Dean was mad. More than mad, he was livid. He wanted to scream at Sam and shake him. He wanted to knock him in the head for being so defiant and thoughtless.
It wasn't that Dean worried that Sam would ever get caught, or even that he would put himself in danger with his little money scams, the kid was way smarter than that. What really bothered Dean was that Sam felt the pressure to get money and that he was willing to come up with ways to get quick cash. Dean was all too familiar with the terrible things some people would do for money and the thought of his brother taking one step down that road chilled him.
"I fucking told you not to do it again Sam," he growled at his younger brother.
"Yeah man, I know but..." Sam protested.
"But nothing Sam. You don't do shit for money. That's it. That's all there is." Dean snarled back at him, cutting off Sam's explanation.
"Dean calm down," he heard from behind him and turned to see Adam's confused and frightened face.
Dean glared at Adam, then with a sudden realization, spun back around to Sam.
"Did you take him with you?"
Sam was silent, staring at him with that look of annoyance and defiance that Dean often saw painted on his brother's face when he was in a standoff with their father.
Dean shook his head in disbelief, "Fuck."
"What's the big deal Dean?" Adam asked, finally feeling brave enough to leave the doorway, tentatively walking around Dean to sit beside Sam on the bed.
Dean huffed and cursed himself again before sitting down on the bed across from his brothers.
"Look," he said, running a hand over his eyes, "I don't know exactly what you two did today to come up $200 bucks, but you're not doing it again."
"It wasn't anything bad," Adam said, trying to soothe his brother's frustration with them, "Well… not that bad," he amended after remembering that they did kinda lie to all those people.
Dean sighed again, realizing he was actually going to have to explain the situation more than he wanted to. Dad would probably just get out his belt and be done with it, but Dean felt like he owed his brothers more than that.
"Do you know why I don't want your help?" he asked, looking between his younger brothers who were sitting on the bed opposite from him, their youthful naivety clear across their faces.
"Sam, do you?" he asked, curious if Sam really understood why he was so adamant about this part of their lives.
Sam stared at him for a moment, before looking away to answer, "I don't know Dean I guess I figured it was pride or something,"
Dean stifled a scoff, "I know I'm arrogant bro, but I'm not a complete asshole." He said, eyeing his little brother.
"No." Dean said, getting serious once more, "You guys need to know that I've got shit under control. Dad gives me cash. I've got credit cards if we get real low. It's fine. I'm not gonna let you starve," he said, looking directly at Adam, hoping to make a point.
Dean was more than serious about taking care of his brothers and he knew they knew that. He worked hard to make sure they were fed, that they had decent enough clothes, all the books and paper they needed for school, even video games and books when he could swing it. He was tight with the cash Dad gave him, but he'd been budgeting to take care of himself and Sam since he was 9. Yeah, there were times when, due to his own stupidity losing money on a bet or in a fight, or when some unexpected expense came up like that new tire for the Impala, when he had to steal food or go without for a while, but more often then not he had everything under control. And yeah, he had those credit cards Dad gave him with the fake names, but after getting hauled in by some local PD over possible credit card fraud and having CPS called, he damn sure wasn't gonna use them while Sam and Adam were minors.
"We know Dean," Sam whispered, staring guiltily at the floor.
"You listen and listen good." He said, trying to channel Dad's no-nonsense voice "You do not go out and con or scam or find ways to make cash. Just don't."
"But why Dean?" Adam complained in confusion, "You do."
"Dammit, kid. It's different." Dean said, his frustration growing again.
"It's not." Adam protested in irritation.
"It is!" Dean snapped, clenching his fists tightly trying to calm his own impatience with his little brother. Dean licked his lips, trying to find the words to explain himself, "Look, if you feel like you have to do something to earn some cash, that's a bad thing. It's a bad place to be,"
Adam just stared at him in confusion.
"I mean…shit…What I'm trying to say is that it's a bad road to go down, doing stuff, maybe sometimes bad stuff, cause you need the money."
Now Sam was staring at him in complete bewilderment and Dean kicked himself for even starting this conversation.
"What are you talking about Dean?" Sam asked, his confusion fading into concern.
"Shit I'm not explaining this right," Dean said, running a hand roughly through his hair. "I'm trying to say that people will ask you to do stuff for money. And I don't ever want you guys to do it, or feel like you have to cause we need the money. We don't. Ok?"
"Dean?" Sam questioned, discomfort growing on his face.
Shit. Dean thought. I'm so fucking bad at this stuff.
But was there really a way to tell your little brothers that old men might proposition them outside a bar? Making their stomachs turn with the suggestion, but offering ever-increasing amounts of cash? That they might feel torn trying to justify it because really it's just a few minutes on your knees in a back alley and the cash would be nice and wouldn't it be good to buy the guys some new clothes or take them out?
Dean shook his head as the uncomfortable memories bubbled up.
It had happened to him more than once. A dark, run down bar, late in the night, some older guy would come up and start to talk. Dean would make conversation cautiously, skeptical of every man in the bar after the first time it happened, but he'd let the guy talk, see where it was going, decide just how far he might let it go this time. Dean wasn't an idiot. He knew how he looked. Most of the time it worked in his favor, encouraging women to flirt with him, opening doors that would otherwise be locked, but in these situations he always found himself wishing he could blend into the walls. Wishing that he wasn't young and strong and handsome, an easy temptation for lonely men in bars looking for satisfaction of any kind.
So far Dean had never ventured back to the alleyway with any of the men that approached him. Things had never been bad enough that he'd let his mind justify the wrongness of it. He'd always been able to keep his brother fed, Dad always came back, and his credit cards always worked. Dean shuddered to think of what he would do, what he could do, if that wasn't the case. If Dad was really gone, if he couldn't find other options, how quickly he might let himself be led to the back of a restaurant or behind a gas station to earn the fast cash that would keep everyone's stomachs full for a night.
Dean knew it was the fear of what he might do that so enraged him anytime Sam struck out on his own to try to earn cash to help. Sam was smarter than he was though, so he probably wouldn't sell himself first thing, but the idea of Sam sullying himself in any way for money devastated Dean in ways he couldn't really explain. It would be as if everything he worked so hard to protect was for nothing.
"Dean?" Sam asked again, bringing Dean back from his thoughts. "What are you talking about?"
"Look guys…just… don't do something cause you get offered money ok? And leave the hustling up to me? Or at least if you are gonna hustle, do it with me." Dean said with a sigh, deciding there was no good way to explain the darkness that could ensnare his brothers.
Adam nodded in agreement, but Sam just stared at him suspiciously.
Dean sighed again, dreading the conversation that Sam would inevitably start later, when Adam wasn't around, trying to get him to reveal the things he'd been talking around.
"Get your shoes boys. You're going for a run." Dean said, deciding abruptly that making them run would be a great way to delay the unavoidable and unwelcome exchanged Sam probably wanted to have as soon as he could.
"Are you freaking serious Dean?" Sam asked incredulously.
"What?" Dean asked with a casual shrug, "You'd rather I act like Dad and take my belt off?"
Adam's eyes grew wide with the possibility and Sam glared at him, "You wouldn't."
"Maybe I should," Dean said lightly, "Teach you to remember what I say."
Dean eyed his younger brothers. Adam had ditched the standoff and was already digging around under the bed looking for his running shoes, but Sam was sitting in front of him, motionless.
"Just cause you turn into a dick, doesn't mean I'm gonna forget what you said Dean," he whispered, carefully scrutinizing his older brother.
Dean stood up, looking down at Sam, "Just get your shit and run, Samantha," he teased flatly.
Sam stood as well, giving Dean one last suspicious stare before begrudgingly going to find his own running shoes. Dean let out a silent breath of relief that Sam didn't challenge him further, but he knew the win would be short-lived. There was no way that his brother wasn't going to corner him eventually and coax him into revealing the mortifying memories.
A/N- So reviewer Claire totally called it on this one, she already suspected why Dean would have a problem with Sam's scam. I had already started writing it when I saw the review and I was so excited that we were on the same page about it! As always thank you to everyone who keeps reviewing and inspiring me with posts! You guys are amazing! Life is about to get busy so it might be awhile before I can update again, but please send me any ideas you have to work on! I love working with you guys to create these stories- its such a happy place for me! :)