I'm sure you all have noticed that it's taken me way too long to finally complete this chapter. I ended up combining two different drafts so if you see something mentioned twice, that's probably why. An advantage of combining the two is that we now have a nice, long chapter. Please enjoy! We're almost there.

...

39. Moving in

Olivia and Gene have put on shorts and a T-shirt over their swimwear and are strolling through the gardens hand in hand. Gene isn't sure why Olivia suddenly suggested to go for a walk and he's waiting for her to explain. After about five minutes, she tells him,

"I'm really having a great time with your family."

Gene squeezes her hand.

"I'm glad."

When she doesn't say anything else, Gene finally decides to prod a little.

"But?" he asks, and Olivia looks up at him with her dark doe eyes. "I'm sensing that there is something on your mind."

She nods then and looks ahead again as they continue walking.

"Yeah … there is. Maybe I should have mentioned it sooner."

Gene stops walking abruptly and tugs on her hand, making her turn to face him.

"Talk to me, Olivia. You know you can tell me anything."

Olivia tilts her head as if she's suddenly remembering something.

"Like I told you about my mother?"

She doesn't have to explain why she's asking him this. He knows and he also knows he's crossed a boundary. He takes her other hand in his as well and looks down at their joined hands when he tells her,

"I never planned to tell dad about that. It just came out. I'm just so proud of you, baby. Of what you've done with your life and how dedicated you are to hunt down these animals who would hurt women and children like that."

"And men," Olivia adds. "Men get raped too, you know."

Gene blows out a breath and watches his girlfriend for a moment. There's a whole world out there that he knows almost nothing about.

"I suppose so," he says. "Lots of sickos out there."

"Yeah. And that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

He's surprised and asks her, just to be sure,

"So you're not going to chew me out over what I told dad about you?"

Olivia sighs and thinks for a moment. Then she tells him,

"Your father was blunt about it, and maybe it's for the best that it's out in the open. I would have preferred telling them myself when I was ready, but it's done now and at least I won't have to field any uncomfortable questions about my family. Just … well, ask me next time before you share something personal about me, okay?"

"Promise," Gene says right away, and he kisses her forehead. "I'm sorry, Liv. It won't happen again."

She nods and smiles when his lips linger on her forehead.

"Now what did you want to talk about? Something about your job?"

Olivia nods again and looks up at him.

"Yeah. You know, I deal with some pretty sick people, just like you said. And sometimes they take it personally when we put them away for their crimes and they'll hold a grudge against the cops who caught them or the ADA who prosecuted them, or even a judge."

"I get that," Gene responds, still unsure where this is going.

"Well, if one of them catches wind that I have a rich boyfriend with a rich family …"

"Ooo, that's what you're getting at!" he interrupts, feeling relieved.

"Yeah."

"Olivia Benson, I would give up everything I have for you. Don't you ever have any doubts about that."

Olivia bites her lip and he sees that her eyes are glossing over. He leans in, framing the side of her face with his hand, and kisses her softly on the lips.

"Did you think I wouldn't?"

"No … no, it's not that. I mean … I don't want to get the family in trouble."

When Gene tries to wrap his arms around her, she resists and looks up at him.

"I'm serious, Gene. These aren't things you can just kiss away."

Gene nods and rubs her upper arms, wondering what he can say to reassure her that his family has been through a lot already and has never wavered when threatened.

"I know, Liv. And I'm not trying to brush anything off. It's just … you know, my family has been a target before. Several times, actually."

Seeing the shocked look in Olivia's eyes, he explains further.

"Yeah. You see, biochemistry makes a different kind of sickos come crawling out of the woodwork. On the one hand, we've had activists who accused us of being part of a scheme to engage in chemical warfare. Some thought we were cooking something up for the government to be used in the Middle East, and some thought it might be used against our own people. Both groups have targeted our labs, our employees as well as the family, making threats and ludicrous demands. Blake says he still gets a letter or two a month to this day."

"And on the other hand?" Olivia asks and he grins.

"Nothing gets by you, does it, Detective?"

She smiles back at him and cocks her head.

"Nope."

"Alright. On the other hand, we've had some dealings with people who actually did want to use our products or labs to make weapons."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. Those were a little harder to get rid of. We got the FBI involved twice. We've had several break-ins and they held a security guard hostage once."

Olivia is now watching him as if she's trying to assess how these things have affected him.

"It's alright, Olivia. I won't say we're used to it, but even our wealth attracts criminal elements and as a family and as a business, we've always stood our ground. Having you become a part of our family won't make us an even bigger target than we already are."

He sees an emotion in her eyes that he can't quite place. It's a good one, this much he knows. What did he just say that makes her this … emotional, for lack of a better word?

"Okay?" he asks her, just to make sure she's heard him.

Olivia nods and rasps a soft "yeah".

"What?" he asks her. "What did I say?"

She bites her lower lip again and he thinks she looks so cute that he'd want to kiss her. But even more badly, he wants to know what she's thinking. "Liv?"

She takes a breath and blows it out, then takes another one.

"You said … part of the family."

His heart breaks a little when he hears her voice break. She's never had a real family and he wants that for her, so badly. He knows he's been blessed, financially but most of all with the loving family he's been given. They've been through a lot but they're still standing, a strong unit. And he wants Olivia to know and to feel that she's part of that unit now. He pulls her close to him and this time she doesn't resist. She lets him wrap his arms around her and hold her against his chest.

"You are, baby. You are part of this family now. Because you're part of me and we all love you."

She burrows into him a little further, hiding her face from him against his shoulder and he gives her this moment of relative privacy to pull herself together. He wishes he could take all the pain away that she's suffered in the past, not really having somewhere to belong. He knows he can't take it away but he also knows he will do his damndest to make sure she will have it all from now on.

After a few minutes, Olivia extracts herself from his embrace, and they finish their walk through the gardens. He can tell that she's still processing their little talk, but he's glad that they had it. When they rejoin the family at the pool, Olivia is her relaxed self again and he feels his chest swell with love and pride for this amazing, unique woman, who despite everything is agreeing to give him a shot. He sees his mother watching him and he smiles at her. The smile she sends him in return tells him all he needs to know. Olivia is a part of the family. It's just a matter of making it official.

…

Their weekend goes by way too quickly and it's something Olivia still isn't used to completely. How she enjoys her time off these days instead of longing just to be back at work again. She still does her job with a passion, but there is a new dimension to her life now. Something she had almost given up on after all these years.

She is happy.

And it shows. Her coworkers can't help but smile whenever she walks in the room. There is a bounce in her step these days and while she is always professional and dedicated when dealing with victims or their loved ones, she smiles more. A lot more. She and Gene are getting ready to move into the new place and she is eager to leave for work now, so they can finish decorating the place and picking out all the furniture they need. Anne is helping them of course, because an interior decorator never really retires, but she wants to leave a lot up to Olivia, since she will be the one living there, not Anne. Olivia appreciates the woman's help a lot and the way she makes her feel so comfortable and at home gives her a sense of what it would have been like to have a loving mother; a mother without all the issues that had weighed so heavily on her own mother, and without the hate against the parts of her daughter that kept reminding her of the worst day of her life.

Olivia is still at her desk, finishing up the paperwork of the day, but she is eager to go home on time. She isn't quite sure anymore which place is home now and that's something she thinks is a good sign. It's a process, saying goodbye to the only place she's ever had that was really her own; that she had worked for and always paid for herself. She's relieved that Gene isn't trying to take over everything for her, because she knows he could have. She will never have to worry about money again but that doesn't mean she's just going to drop everything that requires an effort. The fact that Gene respects that and supports it, is actually making it easier for her to let go of her apartment. Tomorrow, she will wake up with Gene in their new place for the first time.

A smile forms on her face at that thought. She is already looking forward to seeing Gene again, although she's just seen him this morning.

"Looking forward to going to the new place tonight?" Elliot inquires from across their desks.

She knows he's seen her smiling and her smile widens in response when she looks up at him.

"Yeah."

It's all she needs to say. Elliot knows her, maybe better than she knows herself sometimes, and he is possibly happier for her than all of their coworkers combined. He knows better than anyone how much she's struggled to find her place in the world and she has finally found the home and the family she's always longed for. Things have never felt more right for her. She still has her best friend, but any attraction or romantic notions she may have had about her partner, have now completely been replaced by Gene Butler. And she hadn't even seen it coming. The man had just slipped into her heart quietly and had stayed there; made it his own despite her fears and objections. He had gone out on a limb for her and had taken a chance; had risked getting his heart broken again for her. It makes her feel wanted and loved in a way she never has before. It makes her feel worthy at last and it has made her take that very same risk. For him.

"Gonna swing by the old place on your way?"

He really does know her.

"Yeah," she responds again, and without words they agree that Elliot will drive her. One last time for old time's sake. She'll blink her lights for him one more time before she packs up the last of her clothes and leaves for her new home.

...

Olivia is waking up slowly and opens and closes her eyes a few times. She feels disoriented for a few moments. The warm body sleeping next to her is familiar of course but something feels different.

And then she remembers.

This is her new home. Their new home in the city. And they have just spent their very first night here, in their brand-new bed. Gene had insisted on getting new furniture for the whole place, except for the things she wanted to bring from her own apartment. Those will always be welcome, he's assured her. But the bed had to be new, never slept in by anyone but them. And it is heavenly. King sized of course, and with a white iron frame that holds some interesting possibilities. The entire master bedroom has been decorated in light tones but for now, the heavy drapes are keeping most of the daylight out. Olivia wonders what time it is but she doesn't want to leave her safe cocoon just yet to check. Cragen had given her permission to come in a little later than usual because of her official move. Gene is snuggled up against her side, his arm draped across her stomach, and she moves her head until her temple touches his chin.

It still feels a little surreal. Not that it's new to be waking up with Gene. She's gotten used to waking up with him much quicker than she had expected and misses him each time they don't spend the night at the same house. To actually have the relationship she always wanted … it still hits her from time to time. And it is hitting her again now. They've actually moved in together. She still has her own place, but she's basically dragged everything she needs into the penthouse already. All that's left in her old apartment is the furniture, and a lot of memories. Good ones and bad ones. She wonders if she'll get the urge to return there. Gene has given her all the space she needs and then some to make a decision about her apartment. It's hers after all, and the decision is hers as well. Maybe it will come in handy if she needs a place to crash closer to a Manhattan crime scene, he's reasoned, and she loves how he is trying to understand the world she works in and factor it into his own life that she won't always be available.

It's a miracle that they've spent the amount of time together recently that they have, she thinks. Or maybe it has to do with motivation. In retrospect, maybe she's never wanted something to work as badly as she wants this to work with Gene. And her squad is being incredibly supportive. Where once she was the one making sure her partner could get home on time, he and the others are now making sure she gets to see her man at least a couple of times a week. She smiles and nuzzles Gene's cheek contently.

When he begins to wake up, his arm tightens around her. Olivia turns on her side so she is facing him, and there isn't an inch of space left between their bodies. Just the way he likes it, she thinks.

She remembers the night before, how Gene had been waiting for her with dinner, their new dining table set beautifully, complete with wine and candlelight. She had basked in the amazing view over the city, the wonderful food he had arranged and of course his company. The grime of the job slides off of her so much easier when he is there in the evening. She tries not to talk about her work too much, not wanting to burden Gene with the things she sees, but if there's anything she has learned from her partner, it's that she needs to include Gene in her life somehow. Shutting him out completely isn't good for their relationship. She gives him the basics now, but only when he asks. Last night, he had only asked if she needed a shower first and she marvels at how well he knows her already. When she'd told him she was ready to sit down for dinner, he'd known enough. Her day hadn't been too bad. She had relaxed and had been enjoying another glass of wine after dinner when he had lead her out to the balcony. She thinks their balcony is bigger than her entire living room in the apartment and they have a nice sofa set to sit on outside, high above the busy evening traffic.

Once the sun had completely set behind the other high-rises of Manhattan, Gene had lit the fires in two ceramic fire pits they had purchased for the balcony. Olivia loves how he'd tried to make their first evening so special, but she hadn't been prepared for what he'd brought up once they were both seated close together on one of the sofas again.

"Liv, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course," she says with a laugh. "Always."

Gene nods and chews on his lip for a moment. Olivia is getting the distinct impression that he's a little nervous, and it makes her nervous as well.

"What is it, Gene?" she asks him quietly.

Gene takes a breath and then asks her suddenly,

"Have you thought about having kids?"

Olivia's mouth falls open in surprise. Whatever she had expected him to say, it isn't this.

"What brought that on?" she asks him. They've never talked about this before. They've been so busy getting over their fears of commitment that she hasn't even thought that far ahead yet. But it's not a difficult question for her to answer. She just doesn't know how Gene feels about the subject.

"I was just thinking about that," Gene tells her, and it still doesn't give her any clue about his thoughts.

"Would you want them?" she asks in return. "Because I remember you saying that you didn't want me to bring up grandkids with your mother."

Gene reaches up and caresses her cheek with the backs of his fingers.

"That was then."

Olivia swallows hard. He would want a child with her? She is waiting for the panic to set in; for her reflexes to kick in and the desire to run far away from even more commitment. She is waiting for her stomach to clench but it doesn't happen. She feels something in her stomach but it's not uncomfortable at all. She feels butterflies and she suddenly doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. Gene is studying her face and she sees hope in his eyes. She can feel her chin start to tremble but her voice is steady when she tells him honestly,

"I've always wanted kids. Always."

Gene lets out a relieved chuckle and then asks her, just to be sure,

"Would you want them with me?"

Laughter finally bubbles up from Olivia's chest and she can't help grinning widely when she tells him,

"With who else, silly?"

Gene's eyes open slowly and Olivia stares into his dark eyes. Yes, she wants a baby with Gene and just that thought makes her feel like she's weightless. Her desire to become a mother has always been there but something has been added to that desire. She doesn't just want a baby; she wants to have Gene's baby. She wants to have and raise it with him.

"G'morning," Gene mumbles, and Olivia smiles.

She moves her face closer to his and kisses him softly on the lips.

"Morning."

Gene closes his eyes for a few moments, just enjoying the quiet moments and then mumbles,

"We're really here, aren't we?"

"We are," Olivia smiles.

"Our own place. Together."

"Together."

"With room for more little people."

Olivia bites her lip. Gene hasn't forgotten last night's talk either. In fact, he had insisted on a good practice run, to make sure he'd be up to the task of impregnating her. Olivia feels something shift between them and grins.

"You want to practice some more?" she asks him.

"Can't help it," he mumbles, scooting even closer to her so his morning woody is pressing up against her belly. "Waking up with you has that effect on me."

Olivia kisses him again and moans when Gene's hand cups her ass to pull her even closer to him.

"Can't we make a baby right now?" he asks her softly, and she shivers. Just when she thought she couldn't get any happier, her incredibly handsome lover wants a child with her.

"I'll have to get my IUD taken out," she tells him. "And in my case, that comes with a downside."

It looks like Gene is finally fully awake when he pushes himself up on one elbow to look at her.

"Downside?"

"Yeah. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm one of the lucky few to have no more periods after I got the IUD. Those are gonna come back now."

Gene makes a face that makes Olivia giggle.

"Yeah. Sorry, 'bout that but we're going to have to take breaks from then on."

Gene leans down to kiss her forehead and then lets his hand slide down from her shoulder to her bare breast. He palms it and rubs her nipple with his thumb, and them murmurs against her forehead,

"So I'd better knock you up fast then."

They both laugh out loud and it's the best way to wake up together in their new home. Laughing and joking around with thoughts of a long, happy future to look forward to.

...

To be continued