42. Doubt
Gene hasn't slept well his third night at the Miami hotel, and it has nothing to do with the bed. He'd been so excited about what he was doing yesterday and Olivia had called him at exactly the wrong moment. He'd heard the doubt in her voice, almost like an accusation. It's not that he blames her … or maybe he does, just a little. But mostly, it hurts. He doesn't know what more he can do to prove to her that he's a changed man. Not without spoiling his surprise, anyway. He hasn't suddenly become blind to the beauty of other women of course, but Olivia is the only one he wants to be with now. It has been amazing to sense that change in himself and it still gives him chills sometimes. He loves her and by admitting that, there suddenly is no room left for any other adventures. Olivia is the biggest adventure of his life and it's all-consuming. His father was right: it's a decision you can make. He has closed the door to his old ways and has vowed not to put himself in a position again to be tempted to go back. He doesn't want the superficial life anymore, no matter how great casual sex can be. Every time he is with Olivia now, he knows he is no longer just having sex; he's making love. And that makes it better than any one-night stand could ever offer him now. Even simply holding her gives him a sense of home that he never wants to be without again.
After tossing and turning for a while, he had eventually fallen asleep but his dreams had been restless. He is more eager than ever to get home now, just to see Olivia's face and to know she hasn't left him, like she had in his dreams. He's bought her an extra gift, hoping she will accept his explanation why he was being a bit vague on the phone. He doesn't want to ruin his plan and so aside from his main purchase, he's bought her a gold wrist watch at the jewelry store. It's a very feminine watch but not too delicate or flashy, since he hopes she will want to wear it to work as well.
He is relieved when their extra meeting goes well and they can finally make the sale. He sends Olivia a quick text once Jonathan tells him which flight they will be able to make. They are packing at the hotel and Gene puts the two gift boxes in his suitcase carefully. Once his suitcase is packed and zipped up, he puts his hand on it and smiles at himself. He will be back in Florida soon. He can't wait for the party now. They are planning a big 4th of July party at his cousin's - Butler style - and he has plans for that day. Big plans.
…
Olivia feels nervous excitement running through her veins and she wonders if this is what all those romance novels and love songs are actually about. She's never, ever felt this way about a man before. They've been living together for weeks, had been sleeping together for months before that and her stomach is in knots, just knowing he's on his way home. He calls her from the airport in Miami and she offers to pick them up once they land in New York. But Gene says he and Jonathan will be swinging by his Long Island office first, and he'll be back home in the city later.
"When can I finally meet Jonathan and his wife?" Olivia asks, and Gene tells her he's been meaning to set something up.
"If you two don't hurry, you'll be visiting a maternity ward," Jonathan chimes in, and when Gene laughs, Olivia bites her lip. Just hearing the man laugh is doing things to her and she curses her body once more for choosing this week to have its first period in years. Then again, any week would probably be a bad week for them, she thinks with a grin. She must have had more sex in the past couple of months than in all the years before Gene combined, and they still can't get enough of each other.
"Maybe we can stay at the Long Island home this weekend," Gene suggests, interrupting her thoughts. "You were going shopping with mom, right? We can have Jonathan and Angela over for dinner afterwards on Saturday."
"Sounds great," Olivia says and she means it.
Because look at her, making dinner plans with friends and everything, just like a normal person. Her life is so different now and when she ends the call with a wide smile on her face, she catches her partner smiling as well. She raises an eyebrow and Elliot winks at her. He's happy for her and she thinks they should have Elliot and Kathy over soon as well. There's more to life than just work. She will always do her job with a passion because she believes in what they are doing, but she is finally allowing herself to recharge and actually have a life, with family and friends.
"You're not picking him up?" Elliot inquires, and Olivia shakes her head.
"No. They're swinging by the Long Island office first so he'll be home a bit later."
"They?"
"Gene and his assistant."
It's Elliot's turn to raise an eyebrow and she rolls her eyes.
"His male assistant, Jonathan," Olivia says, stressing each word. "And I'm pretty sure I've mentioned him before, Elliot. He and his wife are expecting their second baby and hopefully we'll have dinner with them on Saturday."
They are interrupted when Cragen comes out of his office with a new assignment and the rest of the work day goes by fast. Gene texts her again when they have landed and once more after he has dropped Jonathan off, to tell her he's on his way home.
…
Dinner time has come and gone by the time Gene finally gets home. He's eaten a sandwich while going over some paperwork for their new project with Jonathan and can only hope Olivia has eaten something too. He knows she tends to forget when she works a long day. When he finally gets home to the apartment and hangs up his coat, he doesn't see Olivia right away. He knows she should be home by now, since she was about to head home when he had texted her last. He drags his suitcase over to the dinner table and opens it, planning to take out the one box to give to Olivia. He will have to find a place to hide the other box for the time being.
Suddenly he feels two arms snake around his waist from behind and a warm body is pressed up against his back.
"Liv," he sighs, quickly closing the suitcase again.
He turns around in her arms and wraps his own arms around her waist. Olivia's dark eyes connect with his, and he is home. He leans in and before kissing her he whispers against her lips,
"I missed you."
He drowns in the long, intimate kiss and his hands wander, needing to feel as much as possible of her. He hasn't even had time to register what she's wearing but he feels now that it's a robe. He instantly wonders if she's naked underneath and when the robe rides up when he caresses the back of her thigh, he plans to find out as soon as possible. Olivia moans when his hand hits skin and she lifts her leg, placing her foot on the dining chair next to him. He grabs her hips and pulls her flush against his hardening dick. She grinds against him and he has to break off their kiss to catch his breath.
Olivia rests her forehead against his chest. She's trembling and he knows she wants him, badly. He feels the same way, but he knows they can't right now. He rubs her back gently and kisses her forehead.
"How are you feeling? Still having cramps?"
Olivia shrugs.
"I'm hoping the worst is behind me now. It's still messy though."
"It's alright. I can wait. I just wish I'd been here for you."
She smiles.
"I'm just glad you're home."
"Me too."
He finally really looks at her and however eager he is to see all of her, it's her sparkling eyes that keep catching his attention. She really is so happy to see him again and it makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside. It's as if all those corny movies and love songs suddenly make sense to him. When Olivia takes his hand to guide him to their comfortable couch, he follows her gladly. Not for anything sexual. He just wants to be close to her.
"I thought we'd sit and have a drink together before bed," Olivia says, gesturing at the opened wine bottle that's already on their coffee table. "I took a shower earlier."
"I would have joined you," Gene rumbles, pressing his lips against her neck from behind.
"I know. That's why I've showered already," Olivia says with a grin.
They sit down and Gene pulls her bare legs across his lap. Her skin is amazingly soft and he wonders how many people can actually see this extremely feminine side of her, while she is being a badass doing her job in a man's world. They kiss again and he knows it's never felt this right to come home. He actually has someone to come home to and that makes all the difference. When they break apart Olivia rests her head on his shoulder and asks him to tell her about his trip. He tells her about the building and the meeting, and how skillfully Jonathan had fielded all of their clients' questions. And how they had still asked for a second meeting when he had hoped to come back a day sooner.
"So where'd you go for your sightseeing?" Olivia asks, and he can feel the slight tension in her voice, even while she seems to be completely relaxed and content against him. He needs to fix this and fast.
"Actually, I bought you something. I was at the store when you called me yesterday," he tells her.
She lifts her head to look at him and he watches her for a reaction but he can tell she's still not entirely sure what to make of his evasiveness the previous day. She asks him what the gift is and he carefully moves her legs out of his lap so he can get up to go and get the gift.
"Wait here," he whispers with a wink, hoping she won't follow him and possibly spot the second box in his suitcase.
…
Olivia sits up on the couch and watches her boyfriend walk back to his suitcase, which he had placed on the dinner table. If he was at a store when she called, that explains perfectly how there had been a woman talking near him. It could have been another customer or someone who was helping him. Why does her mind instantly try to make her think the worst? For the first time in her life she really doesn't want to sabotage a relationship. She has made a huge commitment to Gene already but she can't help doubting sometimes that she'll be enough for him in the long run.
When he returns with a box in his hand with a pretty bow on top of it, her mind suddenly jumps to another scenario but when Gene sits down next to her and holds the small box out to her on his palm, she pushes those thoughts back down. That would be way too quick, she admonishes herself. She can't start expecting things like that from him so soon. Gene leans in to kiss her on the cheek and then places the box in her hand.
"Open it," he urges softly.
She's actually a little nervous but manages to pry the lid off the box without dropping it. And then she is staring at the most beautiful, elegant wrist watch she's even seen. She's sure it must have cost Gene a small fortune. She reaches inside the box to touch the watch almost reverently. It's not the first gift she's gotten from Gene but it's definitely the most expensive one so far, made of three different colors of gold and with tiny diamonds set in the dial where you'd expect the numbers to be. She doesn't doubt that they're real diamonds.
"Try it on," Gene says and she can hear the almost boyish excitement in his voice.
She looks up at him and sees his proud grin and she wonders why she doubted him for even a second. When she takes the watch out of the box, Gene helps her put it on. The gold looks surprisingly natural on her wrist and she thinks it's just subtle enough that she will be able to wear it to work.
"It's beautiful," she sighs, turning her wrist a couple of times to admire the watch.
Gene takes her hand and kisses her fingers.
"Just like you. You're all I could think about while we were there, Olivia. Please believe that."
Now she feels bad that he's registered her doubt but she doesn't know what to say. His gift is so beautiful and she plans to wear it as a reminder of these moments. She places her palm against his cheek and when Gene closes his eyes and leans into her palm, she has to swallow a small lump in her throat before she can speak. He is so devoted to her and he doesn't deserve her suspicions.
"I'm sorry," she whispers. "I'm just not used to someone putting me first."
His eyes snap open and she can see genuine pain in them now. She knows why and she feels tears pricking behind her eyes suddenly.
"They were all fools, Olivia. All of them!" Gene says passionately. "You deserve the world and I'm going to prove it to you. One day at a time for as long as you'll let me."
He pulls her in for a sweet kiss and Olivia wraps her arms around his neck, anchoring him to her - perhaps in more ways than one.
"Then you're in for a long ride," she tells him softly.
Gene tightens his hold on the love of his life and he almost blurts out the words that have been running through his head for at least a week now. But he manages to stop himself and kisses her deeply instead. He can wait a little while longer. Just ten more days until the 4th.
...
To be continued ...