Here we are!

Cover Art: Mystery White Flame

Chapter 18

"What do we know about Sienna Khan?"

"Painfully little I'm afraid. And what we do know is coloured more by her achievements than her personality. She's considered a vicious monster and dangerous terrorist, but that says nothing of her mannerisms."

"Atlas propaganda?"

"Pretty much."

Why wasn't he surprised? It was being on the receiving end of it himself that gave him more insight. Politics sucked. It was less about what was or wasn't and more about how people `saw` things to be. Perception was more important than fact. It didn't matter that he wasn't a villain himself, because if Atlas said he was, the people there would hate him.

It would have been easy to assume the same of the person they were going to meet with, easy to see her as a sympathetic ally. That was probably a bad idea. He'd been misread as a villain when he just wanted to help. Sienna Khan was the one to turn the peaceful White Fang into violent extremists.

Kind of hard not to think of that.

He looked to Team RVNN again, fanning out around and behind him in a semi-circle formation. He didn't think it strange to take comfort in their presence; not when they were both the same age and probably stronger than he was. Neo and Glynda offered more, however. They were both capable enough to take out heavy hitters on their own.

"Hazel and Tyrian will be on the run after their defeat and we have Cinder," Glynda said. "Even if the White Fang was working with them, I doubt they could get here so quickly."

"That still leaves one absent."

"Yes. Arthur Watts. But I'm led to understand his specialities aren't in combat so much as medicine and technology."

"Great. Cybernetically augmented and drugged-up White Fang."

Glynda made to protest that statement and then thought on it a moment longer. "We'd best keep our guard up. Might I remind you that it was you who decided this was a good idea."

"That's not true."

Glynda raised an eyebrow.

"I never said it was a good idea, only that we should probably do it."

"Such a promising distinction," she muttered. "My fears are completely allayed."

He hoped not. Fear was going to keep them all alive in this spot. Theoretically, the odds were in their favour. Adam was still a thing, and the White Fang were dangerous on their own, but they had the Fall Maiden on their side, not to mention Glynda and Neo. And if Sienna tried anything, there was nothing to say they couldn't just retreat. This wasn't like Beacon where they needed to defend something.

"Team RVNN, I want you to stay a short distance away when the talks begin. Glynda and I will talk to Sienna. Neo, can you keep an eye out for any ambushes and run interference?"

Neo nodded happily, preening her Nevermore.

"What should we do in the event of an attack?" Ren asked.

Good question. Jaune wracked his mind for an answer. Glynda beat him to it.

"Secure our retreat and do not engage recklessly. We're not here for a protracted fight. Focus on preventing them from surrounding us or, if they already have, on cutting a way out. Our Bullhead is not far."

He was grateful for Glynda's presence in all honesty. The only reason he was there was, yet again, perception. Sienna saw him as the leader of Beacon, so it would have been an insult to send anyone else, even if they were better suited for the task.

Jaune slowed to a stop as his scroll pinged, telling him he'd reached the pre-arranged spot. It was an empty meadow outside of Mistral, far enough away to be remote and out of sight, but close enough to be routinely cleared of Grimm. There was little sign of life nearby. He couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not.

"We're thirty minutes early," Glynda said, reading his mood. "I shouldn't worry."

"I kind of expected them to be camped here already."

"That would be a bad idea on their end. Leaving aside the fact we could have brought a force to attack them, it would be seen as an intimidation tactic to have us meet them outside one of their camps. If Sienna truly wishes for some form of peace, she will come with a small group."

"Do you think we should retreat if we see more?"

"Almost certainly, though what that breaking post is, I don't know. If she shows up with over a hundred armed people, however, I would say the wise choice would be to flee. No one brings an army to a diplomatic meet and greet."

That was good. Great even. His shoulders loosened a little. If Sienna came with fewer people, that was less risk for them. Against untrained White Fang, Team RVNN was probably worth three times their number and Neo were worth ten times that at least with her Semblance. Again, it was perception. If Sienna turned up with too many and they chickened out, it wouldn't seem that way to the general populace. They'd criticise Sienna for obviously trying to strong-arm the meeting, and he'd be called intelligent for seeing the threat and moving away before his students got in trouble.

In that regard, it was Sienna who had the burden of proof laid on her. She had to prove that she was serious about this, which meant she'd need to go the extra mile in doing so.

It was with what knowledge that when movement did appear on the other side of the clearing, Jaune found himself unsurprised to see the White Fang approach with less than twenty people. Given that Blake and Sun took out almost that many at the docks on their own, it was about as peaceful a procession as they could manage.

"Looks like she's serious," he whispered to Glynda.

"It does. Colour me surprised."

As the White Fang contingent approached, Jaune and Glynda moved out from their own to meet them. It was an awkward affair. As they came closer, the faunus stiffened, some hands falling to weapons. Jaune and Glynda paused to wait it out and a quick discussion passed between the White Fang before Sienna Khan, or whom he believed her to be, and one other broke off to approach.

There was a good fifty metres between the White Fang group and them, and an equal distance between Jaune, Glynda and Team RVNN. Jaune idly wondered if they should have brought a picnic table to sit at, or at least some drinks.

Sienna Khan was a dark-skinned woman with black hair, golden eyes and feline ears. Yet again, he had to wonder if this was some kind of cat-faunus conspiracy going on. Everyone said faunus could only have one animal trait, yet every cat faunus he'd met had yellow eyes – so that was obviously two animal traits. Sienna also had dark stripes across her skin, which were either clever tattoos or a third trait.

Her outfit was something he'd never seen the style of before. Robes split down the front with enough room to move her legs, a red sash, red mantle and cape and golden hoop earrings, along with a red gem stuck to her forehead. He'd seen no one dress similarly in Mistral. Menagerie fashion, maybe? The sandals were equally odd for Mistral's climate, and for combat.

All in all, she was strikingly attractive and demanded attention. Was that on purpose? Was she putting herself up as a symbol for the White Fang? There had to be a reason she didn't so much as bother with a mask, not even one attached to her belt.

Confidence? Arrogance? Necessity? Perception?

There were too many possibilities and Jaune wasn't sure which might be true. Given by how she was looking him up and down, ears twitching minutely, she was doing exactly as he was. Their eyes met, both narrowing imperceptibly before being replaced with wide smiles.

"Jaune Arc."

"Sienna Khan."

The bullshit-fest was on. Jaune stepped forward with a hand outstretched. Sienna met him, laughing and gripping his hand, shaking it firmly. He heard Glynda sigh behind him and mutter something under her breath.

"It's a pleasure," she said.

"Thank you for coming," he said. "How was the journey?"

"Free of Grimm."

"Glad to hear it. Ours was a little more eventful."

"Yet you're still here," she said, ears flicking toward him. "That is a good sign, I hope."

"I certainly do. Your message mentioned the possibility of peace between Beacon and the White Fang. That's something I'd be happy to talk on." To the point and, he hoped, polite enough that she wouldn't be insulted by the hint.

"Then let's not waste time," she said, agreeing with a nod of her own. "I am Sienna Khan, leader of the White Fang. And you are Headmaster Jaune Arc of Beacon, the Academy which several of my brothers and sisters attacked. This was not at my command."

"We know." If she was surprised or pleased by that, she didn't show it. He had to wonder if she knew he'd infiltrated Cinder's ranks back then, even meeting Adam beforehand. "Adam Taurus worked with Cinder Fall to instigate it. She has been captured."

"So I have heard. You have both my congratulations and my thanks for that. As for Adam, he does not speak for the White Fang as a whole. He should not have even had control over the sect in Vale, but they were misled."

"Is that an apology?"

"It is an apology for the attack," Sienna said carefully. "Not for our presence in your city. Vale may not be as bad as Atlas, but it isn't perfect either. What I will say is that Beacon was never our intended target. Huntsmen fight the Grimm and we respect that."

The meeting was going better than he'd hoped; she sounded serious.

"In terms of transgressions, it is Adam who wronged you, not I, but I will apologise for failing to realise his intentions and put a stop to them. That was my responsibility." Sienna bowed her head, though she was careful not to let her eyes dip from his.

"I'll accept that," Jaune replied. "And I've no reason to doubt you." Other than the whole terrorist thing, which was a pretty big reason all things considered. "But I'm still concerned about Taurus. If he did this once, he'll do it again. Can you honestly promise he won't try again?"

"I cannot promise as to the will of another, but I can promise to take steps to limit the possibility." She chose her words carefully. Was that a good thing? If she'd intended to flat-out lie, she would have just shrugged and agreed. That she felt the need to pick at words suggested she was going to keep them. In a round-about kind of way. "I'm not above removing him from the White Fang if it is a demand of yours."

Jaune opened his mouth to agree.

Glynda coughed and shook her head.

"No." He wasn't sure why, but he accepted her hint. Maybe she was worried Adam without the White Fang would be even more likely to attack Beacon. Or at least harder to control. "No, that's fine. As long as you take steps to keep him away from Beacon, we're fine with things as they are. Beacon doesn't need reparations, either."

They did, but what could the White Fang possibly offer? Money? Supplies? Faunus? What could Beacon even accept without it being accusations of it being stained with blood? Better they took their peace and walked away with it.

"As long as we have peace between us, that is fine."

"You make a generous offer," Sienna said, seeing straight through him. She didn't try and offer anything either, knowing it couldn't possibly be accepted and him turning it down would only sour the meeting. She raised her voice. "I, Sienna Khan, do hereby declare peace between the White Fang and -"

The crack of a gun going off sounded across the clearing.

It was followed by a loud ping as Neo intervened, appearing in the path and deflecting it. It wasn't so much with her sword – she tried, but it was too fast – but instead her aura. It bounced off her arm as she attempted to block it, and bit down into the dirt.

Everyone spun in the direction it had come from, hands on weapons.

It was a mistake.

Sienna gasped suddenly and Jaune spun back in time to see her keeling forward with her eyes wide open. He moved to catch her, supporting her as she fell into his chest. Pitching forward, he saw the knife embedded in her back.

"For the White Fang!" her guard screamed, holding a second dagger of the same type. "For Taurus, Albain and the White Fang!" He swung in for Jaune's face.

Glynda saved him – intervening while he was distracted with the trembling Sienna Khan. Glynda caught the assailant's arm below the knife with her own, then brought her crop up under his throat and pushed with her Semblance. The man's windpipe was crushed immediately, and he dropped – not yet dead, but immediately dying.

"Jaune! Is she alive!?"

"I don't know!" Jaune dropped to one knee, wanting to turn Sienna over so he could see her face but knowing he couldn't with a knife in her back. Her hands grasped weakly at his coat and he heard a choked and gurgling rasp. "She's alive! Shit, does the White Fang have any healers with them?"

"Betrayal!" one of the White Fang on the outskirts screamed.

Yes, it was, but they'd killed the one who did it.

"Beacon killed Sienna!"

"What!?" Jaune looked up, mouth dropping open.

"Damn it." Glynda hissed and stood in front of him, summoning a purple shield to block a hail of bullets. "We've been set up. And not by Khan. Team RVNN," she yelled. "Cover our retreat! Jaune, get her up. If we leave her here, we lose any chance of proving our innocence."

Shit, shit, shit. Didn't take a genius to figure the plan. Remove Sienna, blame it on us. Jaune stooped and picked her up, dragging Sienna over his shoulder with her face down his back and his hand on her behind. It absolutely wasn't the best way to carry an injured person, but in his arms risked the knife being pushed further into her. He had enough first aid knowledge to know pulling it out was a bad idea. Haven had medical staff.

"Ren, get the Bullhead moving!" he yelled. "Pyrrha, Nora, Velvet, we need cover!"

Nora and Velvet responded quickly, Nora using her grenades to tear up the ground between them and the White Fang, kicking up a wall of dust, grass and mud. Velvet turned her own weapon into a minigun like Coco's and hosed the treeline. It was impossible to tell if any of the White Fang were injured, but they were pushed back and pinned down if nothing else.

"They're not following," Glynda said. "Run."

He already was. Sienna bounced on his shoulder, groaning fitfully as he covered the distance. Pyrrha closed in behind him to protect him – or more likely Sienna since she was wounded – from any rogue gunfire. Her shield blocked a few shots as she backed away, holding the rear-guard with Glynda.

In the distance, the roar of an engine could be heard over the treetops as the Bullhead took to the air. Unless the White Fang had brought ordinance, that would surely bring an end to the attack. Not that it hadn't already done its job.

True to form, the gunfire pattered off and then ceased. The White Fang fled into the trees, leaving the dead terrorist in the centre of the field and their party to come to a slow halt. Glynda and Pyrrha kept their shields up, but the rest of them slowed and stopped, looking back the way the White Fang had gone as the Bullhead approached.

"Put her down," Glynda said, helping him to lower Sienna until she was face-first on the grass. "Is she still alive?"

There was no answer.

"Damn it." Glynda reached around, touching her fingers to the woman's neck. She waited, Jaune and the other members of Team RVNN doing the same nearby. "There's a pulse," she said. "But it's weak. Shock, I think. She needs medical attention and fast."

"Ren?" Jaune asked.

"I only know basic first aid, sir. Nothing like this. I wouldn't take it out, though."

"I know that already." Jaune looked up and waved the Bullhead in for a landing. The pilot was understandably nervous – if the White Fang were still around, the Bullhead was a tempting target – but he came down regardless. Once it settled down, Jaune took Sienna's shoulders. "Ren, take her legs. We'll need to get her on carefully. Glynda, can you call Haven and arrange some medical teams for her?"

"Not Mistral?"

"I'm still headmaster of Haven. Right? If we take Sienna Khan to Mistral, we'll lose custody."

Glynda nodded and drew out her scroll, moving away to make the call. Ren and Jaune lifted Sienna between them, and Nora came over to help, adjusting the woman between them so they could get her on board without difficulty.

Velvet took some of the blankets provided in the Bullheads in case of a crash and laid them out on the metal floor, pillows along with it. They gently laid Sienna down, ren turning her face sideways so she wouldn't smother herself. She was pale and unresponsive with her eyes closed.

Jaune moved beyond to slam a hand on the connecting panel between them and the pilot. "We need to be back in Haven as fast as you can get us there," he yelled through the panel. "Emergency landing if you have to."

"You got it, sir," the man said back, his voice amplified through his helmet mic and played through speakers in the back compartment. His voice trailed off as he opened communications with Mistral. "This is Beacon-flight Delta-Delta-Echo-Two requesting emergency airspace entry en route to Haven Academy. Clearance code Beta-Six-Charlie-Nine-"

Glynda hauled herself into the Bullhead, Neo following close behind. Pyrrha was the last, pulling the door shut behind her and locking it in place. They strapped themselves into the seats, though Jaune, Ren, Nora and Velvet remained out of them, kneeling on the floor and holding Sienna down so she wouldn't be jostled in the flight. It was going to be a rough one.

At least he was so panicked for once that he didn't feel the slightest bit airsick. Meetings like this were all about perception.

No matter how he cut it, this was going to look bad when it hit the news.

/-/

"New White Fang leader, Adam Taurus, has decried the actions of Beacon headmaster, Jaune Arc, in what he calls a cowardly attack on the beloved and respected Sienna Khan. Taurus has declared all-out war on Beacon Academy and has promised to bring the headmaster, and those working beneath him, to justice. In support, Fennec and Corsac Albain have pledged their allegiance to Adam Taurus, officially crowning him the new leader."

"General Ironwood's response was to condemn Taurus' proclamation and show rare support for Beacon Academy's headmaster, stating that his initial anger over a meeting between Beacon and the White Fang has been tempered now realising it was a trap designed to neutralise Sienna Khan, who is listed as a known threat and wanted terrorist in Atlas."

"Diplomats in Mistral have come out in support of Beacon's headmaster, pointing out that in his limited role of acting-headmaster of Haven Academy, it was his responsibility to move against terrorist organisations. Both the Council of Mistral and the Council of Vale have indicated their support of Beacon's actions and condemn those of the White Fang under Adam Taurus."

"Will this hammer blow spell the end for the White Fang, or will Beacon's actions drive them to new heights of depravity? Only time will tell. This is Lisa Lavender, signing out."

/-/

Jaune screamed and threw the remote at the TV. In his head, the TV exploded. In reality, he missed the TV by a good foot and the remote flew out the window. A bird squeaked. If it wasn't for Glynda using her Semblance to turn the TV off, Jaune would have tossed that out as well.

"This could be worse," Glynda said. "Vale, Mistral and Atlas support our actions. Whatever the reality, the White Fang is a terrorist organisation and is hated across Remnant after their attack on a huntsman academy. There's not a person on Remnant who doesn't support us right now for taking out the White Fang's leader."

"Except we didn't take her out! Adam did! And he's gone and consolidated his power, taking over the White Fang in one go. And he's out for our blood."

"That is a problem, but it's a problem that would have persisted even if the meeting had gone without a hitch. If he was willing to have her killed here, he was prepared to do it himself in private. That he and the White Fang already had a statement prepared is proof they planned this."

As if the fact Sienna had been stabbed wasn't proof already. Jaune groaned and collapsed back into his seat, hands over his face. Ironwood was thrilled and was talking about lifting sanctions, but he couldn't call it a win.

He was used to getting praised for stuff he hadn't done, but this was bad. He just knew it.

"The White Fang are going to be loyal to Salem now. What other choice do they have? Adam has burned their bridges with every Kingdom on the planet. Their only chance for survival is to follow him and hope he leads them out of this."

"That is an accurate summation."

"Has Ozpin heard?"

"I'm sure he has, but he hasn't attempted to make contact. There's little he can do where he is. I'm sure he's waiting for us to return to Beacon so he can talk to us there."

A conversation Jaune wasn't looking forward to. "And Sienna?"

"Alive, but unconscious still. The doctors have removed the knife and done what they can for the damage. They believe she's avoided any long-term damage or paralysis. I asked them to stay quiet on her survival for now."

"Why?" he asked. "Wouldn't it counter Adam's word if she was alive?"

"Yes. Which is why she would be assassinated within hours of the news being out."

And they were in Haven, which they both knew might be even more compromised than by Lionheart. Jaune accepted the point with a nod. "Guess we'll be taking her back to Beacon, then."

"It's the best option. At the very least, I'm sure she would be more willing to provide information than Cinder. I imagine an assassination and the usurping of a cause you've dedicated your life to is something one takes at least a little personally."

Oh, she was going to be furious. He didn't have to know her personality to figure that one out. Even Ruby would be spitting blood if something like that happened to her. There was probably some way they could use that.

"Do you think we can convince some of the White Fang to back down if we show she's alive?"

"Perhaps." Glynda was cautious. "Or that they'll call her an imposter, a traitor or coerced into siding with us. Adam Taurus and the Albain brothers will do whatever they need to in order to see her discredited, dead or locked away. There will be some on our end calling for that as well."

Glynda stood and moved over behind him, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"You couldn't have predicted this, Jaune. Don't blame yourself. You acted well given the circumstances, as did Team RVNN. We had no injured on our side and Sienna is alive. That is the best outcome we could have expected."

"I know." He really did, but that didn't stop the trip to Mistral feeling like an absolute clusterfuck. "You know, I expected we'd come back with Ozpin and a peace agreement. Instead, we're coming back with Ozpin, Cinder, Jinn and Sienna. That's a full team right there."

"Don't even joke about that. It would be the most dysfunctional team imaginable. And we did uncover and unseat Lionheart, saving both Ozpin's life and the lives of many students of Haven in the process. I'd call that worth the trip alone."

"I suppose." It was something small to smile at. "You're right."

"As usual," she teased, patting his shoulder and letting go. "I think we should prepare to move home soon. The staff here aren't exactly telling us to leave, but they're well aware the announcement for Adam makes you a target. And by extension, them for hosting you. They've already lost their headmaster."

"I get it. How soon can a Bullhead be prepped?"

"It's ready right now. The question is more of how fast Sienna can be prepped. I asked Team RVNN to see to that. They should be finding some attachments to connect a gurney inside the Bullhead. We can leave within the hour."

Not a moment too soon.

"This is going to be hell when we get back to Beacon, isn't it?"

"If you mean the fact we still have to confront Ozpin and convince him to stay, then yes."

And interrogate Cinder. And explain the situation to Sienna. He wasn't sure which he was looking forward to least – oh, and then there was the fact Blake would no doubt ambush him during her detention with a `I told you so` expression or some lecture on how they should hunt down Adam. Sometimes, he wasn't sure who was obsessed with who on that front.

"I can't believe I live in a world where introducing a naked blue spirit-woman as student counsellor is the least complicated thing I need to do."

He hoped Ozpin was having as shitty a time.

/-/

Ozpin was in heaven.

Of all the things, of all that was wrong in the world, he could at least rest assured that the Gods had not abandoned him completely.

Jaune had missed one of his secret stashes.

The thermos was in one piece, the liquid within cold but preserved. He'd warmed it and then taken a sip, instantly passing into nirvana and feeling the weight of several thousand years wash away. A tear ran down his cheek.

"D-Did I just lose my virginity?" Oscar whispered.

"No, Oscar. You experienced something far greater."

"Are you talking to him again?" Qrow asked. "It's kind of weird when you do that out loud. Even weirder than seeing a fourteen-year-old downing coffee pulled out of a cistern in the gym toilets." Qrow paused and then said, "Why was a thermos flask hidden in there?"

"Security, Qrow. Security."

"That… makes no sense."

"What makes no sense is what has happened to Beacon." Ozpin nodded to the new dorms – or what he presumed to be the new dorms.

He would admit to some pride over the school. He had helped create it in a past life and nurtured it over the centuries. He could still remember the first brick, the joy he felt, the way everyone had cheered and even the celebrations held.

He could also vividly remember the after-party and the roaring hangover it had left.

It was no exaggeration to say he loved Beacon like a child, so it was with something between horror and unease he felt when he looked at the huge battleship poking out the side of the dorms like a tumour. It had been painted in a brick pattern in what had to be the laziest and most ridiculous attempt to pretend it was part of the architecture ever.

Even stranger, students walked up ramps leading into and out of it, while some were leaning out the porthole windows talking to one another as if it was all a perfectly normal part of life.

I was gone for less than four months. How did this happen?

"Ah. The new dorms."

"That is a battleship, Qrow."

"No. It's the new dorms. That's the official record by the way. I wouldn't argue it. Beacon's legal team is scary."

"We don't have a legal team."

"Do now. Not sure what Torchwick pays them or where he got them from, but they're vicious."

Roman Torchwick. Director of Finance. That was something Ozpin tried very hard not to think about. He sipped some more coffee, letting that take care of the thinking for him. "I see." He did not, but sometimes it was important to say otherwise. "The matter of the Relic of Knowledge. Has Miss Xiao Long provided an explanation of what was asked of it?"

"Yeah. Told me earlier. There's no need to worry; the questions were wasted. One was used by Cinder to ask what Jaune's plans were and she got a bum answer."

"I'm not sure Jaune has plans," Ozpin said.

"That's what Jinn said, apparently."

Ozpin smiled and sipped his coffee, deeply amused. "And the second?"

"Yang interrupted and asked it if Jaune thought she was hot."

This time, Ozpin laughed. "And?"

"Yep."

"My. Glynda will not be pleased." Ozpin chuckled. "Be sure to compliment Miss Xiao Long for me. Her quick thinking may well have saved Remnant. Or should I say her hormones instead?"

"Eh. Cut her some slack. She came up big."

"She did," Ozpin agreed. "And by the sounds of it, Raven may have had a hand."

"That I'm less sure of. I won't discount it but… well… it's Raven."

Ozpin hummed and said nothing. He knew it was hard for Qrow to get over his personal issues there, even if he himself thought Raven might just have done it for Yang's sake. It was hard to tell, but there were few who were truly lost to their base instincts. Raven might well have been a coward and a terrible mother, but to kill her emotions entirely? He didn't think she could accomplish that.

"All in all, I think we've done well," Ozpin said. "I regret not having a chance to chastise my old friend, Leonardo, but securing Cinder Fall was by far the greater trade on Jaune's part. Has she awakened?"

"Tsune is keeping her sedated."

"Is that safe?"

"Is anything Tsune does safe?"

"A fair point. I find myself remarkably uncaring as to Miss Fall's personal comfort."

"Still bitter?"

"Over being murdered?" Ozpin rolled his eyes. "Yes, Qrow. Call it overreacting but I am somewhat bitter. At least I'm not the one raving over a hip flask."

"It was a gift from Summer."

"Ah." Ozpin's irritation faded. "Then I apologise."

"It's fine." Qrow let out an angry sigh. "She'd probably be happier to see me not drinking. Plus, Ruby and Yang came out okay. Small price to pay for a bit of metal."

"I think Summer would be thrilled, yes. I'm sure Taiyang is."

"Not told him yet."

"What?" Ozpin looked at Qrow. "His daughter was nearly killed, and his ex-wife was involved. I believe he has a right to know."

"I… uh…" Qrow coughed. "I was hoping you could tell him."

"I am a fourteen-year-old boy…"

"Oh, so you're pulling the boy thing now, huh? Using it when it's convenient?"

"That's not-"

"Hey Ruby!" Qrow yelled out.

"Qrow, stop!"

It was too late. Ruby Rose blurred over in a flash of red, coming to a stop in front of them red-faced and with her hands on her hips. It was an expression he recognised from her mother, one Ozpin had seen once or twice when Yang had done something wrong.

"Oscar Pine!" Ruby cried, looking down on him. "Where have you been? We've been looking for you everywhere!"

"Miss Rose-"

"Don't you `Miss Rose` me, mister. The headmaster told us to look after you and you went missing. What would have happened if you'd wandered into the forest?"

"I was hardly going to go and-"

"Ap-ap-ap!" Ruby cut him off as if she wasn't talking to someone well over a thousand years old. "That's enough out of you. You don't know your way around Beacon. You could get lost."

"I know-"

"That's why you need to stay with us like Jaune and Miss Goodwitch said." She caught his arm before he could escape, tugging him along like the naughty child he absolutely was not. "Now come on, it's almost dinner and you didn't eat lunch."

"But-"

"And less coffee! It's not good for you."

"Miss Rose, I really must-"

"Call me Ruby. How many times have I told you?"

"Ruby, then. I-"

"And you're too polite. There's no need to be shy. I was when I first came to Beacon, but you'll make loads of friends here. I can introduce you to some of mine. I mean, you already know the team, but there are others. Oh, and Zwei still needs to meet you."

Desperately, Ozpin looked to Qrow for salvation from his well-meaning but incessant niece. That she meant the best was all well and good, but Ozpin knew her sudden burst of determination also came from her desire to perform well at a task given by a certain person she was infatuated with.

"Save me", Ozpin mouthed to Qrow.

Qrow grinned and waved back.

Son of a…

"Ruby is nice," Oscar said shyly. "And cute."

"Don't even think about it, mister. She's at least a thousand years too young for us." Ozpin grumbled. "Even if she's acting a thousand years older."

"And then we'll have to get you eating properly. You look thin. Do you think we should get you a check-up with Miss Tsune?"

"No. That is absolutely not required."

"Oh, come on. It's just a doctor. I know it's scary, but it's for the best."

If there was one thing he hated most about the curse that was his immortality, it was not the repeated deaths, nor was it watching his friends grow old and die or knowing he could never go see them again until his task was done. No. It was being forced back into a tween's body and being forced to put up with everyone acting like they knew better than you.

"And I think Yang said something about getting you some spare sets of clothes since you only have the one. Don't worry, Yang's good at fashion."

"I am not taking fashion advice from a woman who wears short-shorts, two skirts that cover nothing, puffy shoulder pads and a handkerchief wrapped around her knee."

"Huh. Yeah, now that I think about it, why does Yang have that thing?"

"I have no ide-"

"There he is!" The woman in question, Yang Xiao Long, came bounding up with a fearsome scowl, immediately swooping down to grab Ozpin's head and drag him in under her arm. He was left bent over and wide-eyed as she rubbed her knuckles into his head.

Him, the ex-headmaster of Beacon and thousand-year-old immortal.

"Do you have any idea how worried we were? Gr." Yang gave him a solid swat over the head before she let him go. Ozpin staggered, dazed. Oscar's body wasn't as hardy as his previous. "You have any idea how much trouble I'd be in with the prof if you got hurt?"

Of course her biggest concern was that. Of course it was…

"Just for that, you're not getting any dessert for dinner."

"I don't even-"

"No talking back, mister. You're in enough trouble as it is. Now, say you're sorry."

What?

"Say it…" Yang's eyes flashed red.

Swallowing his pride, Ozpin bowed his head. "I apologise for having caused you concern."

"Sheesh. Can you sound any more mechanical? Try it again like a normal person."

"Must I?"

Yang cracked her knuckles.

"I-I'm sorry, Miss-" More cracks. "Yang?"

"Better. Sheesh, I swear we need to get a leash for you or something. Stick close to us, okay? I know you're a brave kid and all for what happened in Mistral but leave the dangerous stuff to us. Okay?" Yang grinned. "We'll look after you."

This could not be happening. Qrow was laughing at him. He just knew it.

Why does Yang wear random things? Probably for the same reason Ruby has crucifixes and crosses all over her season one clothing despite it having no religious significance in Remnant. They graduated from the JRPG school of fashion. The spikier, more colourful and less symmetrical it is, the better.

Poor Ozpin. Welcome to everyone seeing you as a poor young boy that has to be looked after.

Omake:

"Alright," Ozpin said. "I think we need to set some ground rules."

"Fuck you."

"See, that for one has to stop." Ozpin tutted. "We're a team now, so we can't be at each other's throats."

"How are we a team?" Cinder Fall growled. "What is Jaune smoking to think this is a good idea?" Her eyes suddenly became haunted. "Is this his plan? Layers within layers. There's a trap in here somewhere; I just know it."

"Sure," Jinn giggled. "Why not?"

"I believe that I should be leader," Sienna said calmly. "I have experience in it."

"Yes, and in getting stabbed in the back by those you lead," Ozpin remarked. "I think we're supposed to avoid that."

Sienna jutted her chin out.

"Look, I'm not exactly thrilled about this either." For one, he was supposed to be off on his quest to stop Salem. For another thing, he was a god-damned adult trapped in a hormonal child's body. For a third, Jinn wasn't wearing any clothes and Cinder and Sienna's outfits didn't leave much to Oscar's imagination either.

"Hey! I wasn't thinking anything dirty."

"I share your mind, Oscar. And foursomes don't work that way."

"Eep!"

Team OJSC – it didn't yet have a name anyone could figure out, but Ozpin liked to think it stood for `Oh Jaune is Smoking Crack if he thinks this is a good idea` - were arranged in their new dorm. It was located on the Atlas battleship that was totally not a battleship, and although they had been teammates for less than an hour, there were already…

Let's call them `teething` problems.

"I did not agree to this," Cinder said, crossing her arms.

"You didn't agree to be captured either," Sienna pointed out. "I don't think consent matters in this case. Besides, don't you see what he's doing? It's like me and the White Fang. Think how this looks to your old friends. All they know is that you were captured and are now on his side. They'll think you jumped ship. Go back now and you'll be killed for sure."

Cinder's mouth fell open. No words came forth.

"And you're okay with this?" Ozpin asked Sienna.

"Eh. Beats dying. I kinda want to hunt down the White Fang and kill them all, though. Especially Adam."

"We should introduce her to Team RWBY," Jinn teased. "Or one of them…"

"And you," Ozpin groaned. "You are the spirit of Knowledge. What can you even do to help the team?"

Jinn opened her mouth.

"Within this hundred-year period, please."

Jinn closed her mouth.

"I thought so. This really is a ridiculous plan. How can we possibly expect Cinder to stay loyal? She'll jump ship and run at the first opportunity."

"That's it!" Cinder hissed; eyes wide. "That's his plan. He knows I'll run. He knows I'd betray this team and flee. He's planned for it." She bit her nails. "If I play his game, I'll fall for it again. I need to subvert his expectations. Beat him at his own game. If I don't betray the team, he can't trick me. I'll stay loyal. I'll stay loyal and show him I'm onto his games!"

Jinn fell on her bed giggling.

"Or it could completely work out somehow..." Ozpin sighed and sat on his bed. "Sure, that's a perfectly reasonable result. Except it's not. Damn it, now my head hurts. Can this day get any worse?"

"Well, if we're going to be stuck on a team anyway, we should get to know one another," Sienna said. "I'll get the pillows. Jinn, you get the drinks. Cinder…" Sienna watched Cinder mutter to herself. "You stand there and scheme impotently."

"Oh." Jinn rose up. "A girl's night in? A sleepover? I've never had one of those before."

"Or I'll betray them and lead them into an ambush, but then betray Salem and save the team, double-crossing them both and saving the day. There's no way he can predict all that!"

"But what if he does?" Jinn asked, shit-eating grin in place. "What if he's seen through even that?"

Cinder gasped and dove into even more interwoven plans. The amount of double-crosses, twists and turns would have driven a sat-nav to suicide.

Ozpin groaned. At least it couldn't get any worse.

"Hey!" Yang Xiao Long burst in with bottles of pop, bags of sweets and her two teammates alongside her, pyjamas and blankets in tow. "Sienna called us about a sleepover. I brought make-up. Can we pretty up Oscar?"

It got worse.

The team no one wanted or needed. Props to anyone who can actually think up a decent team name using those four letters. OJCS.

Cossack - COSJ? Cosine? JOCS - Team Jokes?

And no, they're not actually going to become a team. Obviously.

Next Chapter: 18th July

P a treon . com (slash) Coeur