Weekend at Adam's- March 2003
-/-/
SATURDAY
Adam woke up all too soon to Josh shaking him, "Hey man. You gotta get up. Gotta go,"
He sat up groggily, his eyes gritty and his head throbbing gently with the echoes of a hangover. As he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, Adam gradually became aware of the screaming and banging that was coming from somewhere in the house.
Adam cleared his throat and looked around for his shoes, suddenly noticing a kid sitting on the edge of Josh's bed.
"Hey," Adam said quietly to the big owl eyes watching him.
The kid didn't say anything, only watched as Adam pulled on his shoes and Josh stood sentry by the bedroom door.
"Sorry dude," Josh said apologetically, as Adam stood up, "My ma…"
"Don't worry about it man," Adam interrupted, walking over to the window.
"Hey uh..." Adam started, one leg out the window, "You guys wanna come with me? I'm at the Shady Pines… It's not much quieter but…"
Josh considered him for a moment and Adam realized he'd never mentioned to any of his new friends that he was living in the town's only motel.
"Thanks, dude," Josh replied sincerely and Adam let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding waiting for his friend's reaction, "Squirt over here has pee wee basketball today. I gotta make sure he gets there,"
Adam nodded and slipped out the window, his heart twisting and one name popping to the forefront of his mind.
Dean.
"Call me later dude," Adam called and waved back through the window as he hurried away, trying to hide the tension in his voice.
He'd managed to go almost 24 hours without thinking. Without thinking about Dean and the danger he could be in. Without wondering where in the hell Dad was and why he hadn't called. Without obsessing about Sam and what life would be like if he were still around.
Walking down the crumbling sidewalk away from Josh's house, Adam knew he needed to go back to the motel and at least grab a shower, a thought which created a stone of dread in the pit of his stomach.
Adam did everything he could to avoid that motel room when Dad and Dean were both gone. There was really no reason for him to be there anyway, but the quiet of the room, the distant slamming of doors and rumbles of cars just reminded Adam how alone he was. He honestly couldn't take it.
He had a hard enough time controlling the endless spinning of his mind. The quiet just made it worse. He'd sit staring at the TV, willing himself to pay attention to the crappy sitcoms while his mind was consumed by questions.
When would Dean be back? Would Dad call today? Or maybe tomorrow. Should he email Sam? Or maybe call Sam? What was Sam doing? Was he happy? Did he regret leaving? Should Adam leave? Did he have enough money? How long would his money last? What if Dad found out about his hidden money? Did Dean know? He might. He seemed to know everything. When was Dean gonna be back? How many hours drive did he say it was? Should Adam just cut his losses and run away? Where would he go? How far? Could he do that? Would they find him? Would it even be worth it? He'd be alone there too.
His mind wandered uncontrollably as he slowly walked the miles back to his dreadful motel room.
The logical part of his brain, the part that he nicknamed his Sam-side, was glad that Dean was hunting more. His brother needed it. Adam could see it. Dean needed an outlet for all the anger and frustration and everything else he kept buried deep within himself. And Dean was a hero. He was a born hunter. He thrived on the danger, adrenaline, and complexity that hunting demanded. Adam didn't want to take that from him. Adam never wanted to be the reason that Dean didn't hunt. It was his very first thought when he'd heard Sam was leaving for college. He never wanted to be a burden to his brother, to keep him from his calling.
But…
Part of him did want Dean to stay back. Stay with him. Keep him from being alone. Protect him. Dean was all that was left. Sam was gone. Dad was Dad. Dad was always gonna hunt, always gonna do whatever he wanted to do- whatever he thought he had to do.
It was two hours later when Adam arrived at the empty motel room. He'd taken his time walking, not like it mattered anyway. He didn't have anything else to do. He knew he could work on the projects Dad always left for him: research on potential cases, a list of books to read and make notes on, Latin translations to practice, but Adam never did them. And as long as Dad was busy (and sober) he never asked.
Adjusting the salt line behind the motel room door as he closed and locked it, Adam considered how different these weekends used to be when Sam was still around.
"I bet you can't do a one-handed push-up," 12-year-old Adam taunted at Sam, as his brother sat on the bed reading a book.
"Yeah I can," Sam shot back, sneering good-naturedly at his younger brother.
"Bet you can't do a one-handed push up with me sitting in your back," Adam countered, raising the stakes,
"Yeah I can," Sam replied, putting the book down on the flowered bedspread.
"Oh yeah?" Adam taunted, "Bet you can't do 5!"
"You're on!" Sam said standing up.
Adam smiled at the memory as he stared at the fading flowered bedspread in front of him. God he missed Sam.
The feeling was so visceral that his heart almost physically hurt to think about how much he missed his brother. It wasn't quiet grief, like the broken place he held in his heart for his mom, but it was close. It was a deep sadness, tempered with anger and understanding and curiosity. The Sam shaped place in his heart was strange and uncomfortable and he didn't know what to do with it.
Adam hadn't heard his brother's voice in over a year. Not since that awful night that Sam had stormed out of their lives. Adam was the only one who knew what Sam was planning and his brother had given him contingencies for what to do if the night played out as badly as Sam feared it would. Sam had gotten a phone outside of the burner cells that Dad always provided for them. He'd gotten a new email address and given Adam the one he'd been issued at school as well. Sam had tried to give these to Dean too, begging him not to cut him off, but Dean couldn't accept. He'd taken the paper Sam handed him on the way out the door and crumbled it, dropping it on the ground without a second glance.
Adam had scooped up the crumbled note later that night when no one was looking, slipping it into his pocket. He'd hid in the bathroom and looked at it, re-reading his brother's scratched angular handwriting, feeling like it was the last tether he had to the older brother he wasn't sure he could live without.
He still had that note, tucked deep in the pocket of his wallet. He didn't look at it much anymore. He knew it by heart and looking at the ink that had flowed from Sam's hand made him sad in a way he couldn't really understand.
Adam did try to keep in contact with Sam through emails. It might have been easier to cut Sam out like Dad and Dean did, never talking about him and pretending the awfulness between them didn't exist, but Adam couldn't do it. Even for Sam's sake. Adam was smart enough to realize that talking to the little brother he left behind probably wasn't easy for Sam, but he couldn't stop. Adam just couldn't let go.
So they emailed once a month or so, checking in and keeping their correspondence surface and light. How was school? The weather in California? The weather wherever Adam was. Sam never asked how Dad and Dean were and Adam never mentioned them. It was like being in the middle of an invisible tug of war, each side not looking at the other as they pulled Adam's arms from his body.
But at least he knew Sam was ok. He knew for sure that Sam was still there. It wasn't enough, but it would have to be. At this point, Adam was a pro at taking what he could get and he understood how quickly even that little bit could be ripped from him.
Thoughts of his brother trailed after Adam as he pulled out his duffle and dug around for clean clothes and some pain pills for the hangover headache that was gaining ground on him.
They had the pink and yellow sugar packets from the diner spread out between them on the table, each with a hand full of cards glaring at each other.
"OK," Sam said, looking over the cards he held, eyeing his 13-year-old little brother, "Aces are high…"
"I know Sam!" Adam snapped, irritated that Sam was still trying to explain the rules of poker to him even though they'd been playing for months.
"Ok, then quit losing," Sam replied smartly, making Adam sneer at him.
"I'm trying," Adam mumbled, staring at the cards in his own hand and trying to figure out of he should play the Queen of Diamonds.
"I fold….and I suck," Adam said finally, throwing the handful cards down on top of the sugar packets.
"You only suck compared to me and Dean," Sam said, putting his own cards down on the table, "Look when you get back to school again, find some guys and get them to play… I bet you'll clean up,"
Adam shrugged and watched as Sam gathered up the cards and shuffled.
"Again?" his brother offered.
"What else are we gonna do?" Adam rolled his eyes.
"Dad left us all that Latin…" Sam replied, raising his eyebrows to tease his brother.
"Yeah right. Deal 'em Sasquatch," Adam grinned.
The pink sugar packets in the otherwise empty cabinet in the motel kitchenette stared at him. Adam shut the door and turned away.
By now it was almost noon and Adam's stomach was growling as he realized he hadn't eaten anything since the Taco Bell drive-through they'd hit up last night on the way back from the concert.
Including the few sugar packets in the cabinet, the sum contents of food in the motel room were a half-eaten jar of peanut butter and a stale pop tart. Adam chided himself. He really should have bought some food yesterday. He'd assured Dean that he would, that Dean didn't have to go to the store before he went out on the hunt. He'd still been annoyed at Dean for leaving and didn't wanna deal with being babied anymore. But apparently, stupidly, he did need to be babied. His stomach growled louder and Adam kicked himself again for being a petty idiot. Adam rolled his eyes at his own idiocy and gathered up his wallet and jacket, preparing to take the 2-mile walk back toward town and the only supermarket.
Just once I wish they'd leave the damn car, Adam groused as he walked.
-/-/-
Adam didn't make it all the way to the supermarket, deciding to cut his losses and grab a sandwich from the gas station that was on the way. He carried it to a small park close by, finding a weathered picnic table in a secluded area where he could eat in peace.
As he ate Adam looked at his watch, noting the time. Nearly 2 pm. He wondered if Dean had gone hunting last night or if his brother would choose to hunt tonight. Adam knew Dean had spent most of the day Thursday doing research so that meant he'd probably spent yesterday doing interviews and confirming all his theories on the case and who the ghost was. So yeah, he could be hunting tonight, but then again, sometimes you can't find the body or the tether the ghost has so it takes longer, but… well…maybe if...
Stop it! Adam chided himself.
He had to figure out a way to stop obsessing and worrying about his family when he was alone. It was tearing him up inside. He needed a distraction, something he could focus on that wasn't running through every potential scenario of his future.
As if answering a prayer, his phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket and Adam immediately grabbed for it, checking the outside screen before flipping it open.
"Mikey," Adam said, a smile already playing on his lips. Mike was always down for something that would keep Adam busy and not thinking.
"Hey dude, what's up?" his friend said.
"Nothing, you?"
"Nothing. Did you hear about the field party tonight? Over at Ashley's?" Mike asked.
"Yeah, I think I did," he said calmly, trying to hide the nerves and excitement that were building about a possible invitation to a party with the cool kids.
Ashley Clark was a prom queen, the perkiest and popular girl in school. She lived on a huge farm on the outskirts of town and apparently threw the best keg parties the school had ever known. Having not been in town long, Adam had never been to one of her legendary parties, but he'd heard about them.
"So you know Ashley's best friend is Casey Heath right?" Mike said, a hint mischievousness in his voice.
"Yeah?" Adam replied, his heartbeat starting to rise at the memory of beautiful Casey Heath, the girl with the stunning smile.
"So Kelly said, that Brittany said, that Ashley said..."
"Dude! Spit it out!" Adam shouted.
Mike laughed loudly into the receiver, making Adam pull the phone away from his ear for a moment.
"Casey wants you at the party dude!" he said, still laughing.
"Me?" Adam sputtered in disbelief.
"Yeah man," Mike said, "Guess she likes a bad boy!"
Adam was stunned into silence. He'd talked to Casey a few times since they had English class together, and each time he'd try to channel Dean's easy charisma and confident smile, but he considered her too perky and popular to be in his league.
"Tonight man!" Mike was saying, pulling Adam from his thoughts.
"Wait. What?" Adam asked confused at what he'd missed in their conversation.
"Pack the Trojans dude!" Mike teased, causing Adam's pulse to skyrocket.
No way, he thought. Really?
"Are...uh..." Adam stuttered, his brain still reeling from the idea of a potential hook up, "Are you going man?"
"Hell yeah dude," Mike said, "They're slumming it by inviting me, but I guess I'm getting a pass since Casey wants you there,"
Adam scoffed, "Oh ok, so I'm whoring my self out for your party invite?"
"Fuck yeah you are dude," Mike laughed, "Want me to pick you up?"
"Uh…yeah sure, how bout the Gas N Sip? 9 o'clock?"
"Sure." Mike replied, "See ya then,"
Adam flipped the phone closed, shoving it in his pocket, feeling a new kind of fear and excitement racing through his veins. Maybe tonight…maybe tonight with Casey Heath…
Oh shit, he realized. Maybe tonight.
He needed some freaking advice. Where the hell was Dean when Adam needed him?
-/-/-/-
SUNDAY
Adam woke up slowly, his eyes refusing to open on their own, his head and stomach swimming. Blinking deliberately he was able to crack open one eye to stare up at the yellowing popcorn ceiling above him, wondering where the hell he was.
With a deep breath and more willpower, he was able to open his other eye, although that created a stab of pain in his temple. Adam swallowed hard, trying to get control of his body and his mind.
'Motel', he thought. 'At the motel.'
Ok. He was back at Shady Pines. That was a good thing. But how the hell did he get back here? Adam racked his brain for the memories of last night. He could remember the field, the bonfire, the keg stands, the red cups. He remembered talking to Casey and then things got blurry.
'Shit, what did I do?'
Adam turned his head slowly, looking to the other motel bed and was surprised to see a sleeping form buried under the blankets.
"Dean?" he whispered, his voice rough and raw.
The body in the bed didn't move but a slight movement from the floor caught Adam's eye. He turned his head slightly again and met a familiar set of big owl eyes looking up at him from over the corner of a book.
"Kid?" Adam asked out loud, his still alcohol-soaked brain struggling to catch up.
The kid didn't respond and only looked back down at his book, but the sound was enough to rouse the person in the bed and he rolled over, groaning.
'Fuuuuuuuucccckkk…"
"Josh?" Adam asked, blinking hard and starting to push himself up, making his stomach roll.
"Dude," Josh groaned, "I feel like shit,"
"Yeah," Adam agreed, his stomach pitching and a cold sweat breaking out on his forehead, "Yeah I…"
"I…" he started, a sudden twist in his gut stealing his words.
"I…uh…" he started again, suddenly jumping up from the bed and running to the bathroom, just barely making it to the toilet before everything came up.
"Gross!" he heard a tiny voice call from the room behind him.
Adam groaned.
-/-/-/
"So…" Adam started, sitting down carefully on his unmade bed, trying hard not to shake loose anything else from his stomach, "I don't remember getting back here last night…"
"Yeah," Josh said, wincing at the volume from the television they'd put on for his younger brother, "It was a long night…"
"I remember… I remember the party..." Adam thought, racking his brain for the details of the night, "I couldn't find Casey,"
"Aw, shit man. You remember that?" Josh said, grimacing
"Yeah, why?" Adam asked, feeling a hot rush of embarrassment.
"She ditched you dude. That guy, Shawn, you know from the football team? He started talking to her and I guess she bailed... you were really hung up on finding her. Me and Mike had to like drag you outta there,"
"No…" Adam groaned, flopping back onto the bed and throwing an arm over his face to hide the blush of embarrassment he could feel rising.
"We tried to go back to my place, but my mom had a guy there…and...it was just.." Josh stuttered, "… it wasn't good you know? So I grabbed the squirt and dusted. You told us to come here,"
Adam pulled his arm away from his eyes and looked at his friend sympathetically, "Yeah dude of course,"
"Your parents… are they coming back…or…." Josh whispered, clearly afraid of the answer embarrassing or hurting his friend.
"My Dad'll back eventually," Adam said, avoiding Josh's eye, "And my older brother, he should be back in a few days."
Adam could have lied, probably should have- normally would have. But he'd seen Josh's house. He'd seen the world that his friend came from and he couldn't lie to his face. As much as Adam wanted to hide who he was and everything about himself, he could sense that Josh needed to know, more for his own sake than Adam's. Maybe by sharing a little Adam could lessen this pain of Josh's life, maybe make them both feel less alone in the world.
Adam rubbed his head, roughly running a hand through his hair, "God I gotta go back to sleep,"
"Yeah, man...We'll go..."
"No!" Adam snapped, quickly looking over to his friend and glancing at his little brother.
"He's good here right?" Adam said, nodding to the kid who was firmly planted on the floor watching Scooby-Doo, "Just stay and hang out."
"You sure?" Josh asked skeptically.
"Yeah, dude." Adam said, "Seriously."
"Ok…I guess." Josh conceded.
"Ok," Adam said, waiting until Josh had gone to lay on the bed closest to his brother before rolling over in his own bed. "Wake me up if you need anything,"
"…and don't go through my shit," he said belatedly, remembering just how many deadly weapons there were in the room.
"Ok dude," Josh said, resting a hand on his little brother's head as they both focused on the television in front of them.
Adam saw it; the sweet, comfortable gesture of an older brother to a younger and he had to grit his teeth to keep from crying. He rolled over away from them, facing the wall, forcing himself to focus on calming his stomach and his head so he could sleep.
-/-/
When Adam woke up again he felt a lot better. His stomach had stopped trying to kill him and his head wasn't throbbing anymore.
It didn't take much convincing on Adam's part to get Josh and his brother (whose name Adam finally learned was Kyle) to stay and hang out the rest of the day. They all made the trek down to the supermarket and back, getting food from the money Dean had left and piled on some extra snacks for the kid. Josh protested about Adam spending his money on them, but Adam was happy to do it. With Kyle around Adam could imagine what it might be like to be a big brother and he wanted to do the job justice, just like his older brothers had done for him.
They spent the day hanging out in the motel room, watching crappy tv movies, eating snacks and, once Josh found his stash, getting high. All and all, Adam considered it a pretty good way to spend the day.
Adam was dozing on his motel bed enjoying his high, listening to the ambient sounds of some random action movie on tv as Josh and his little brother talked in the background. Getting high was becoming one of Adam's favorite pastimes. He tried not to partake too often, and he really couldn't at all if Dad or Dean were around, but if he was alone and he could find a hookup, getting baked was a great way to pass the time. And Adam liked being high: like really liked it. He liked being drunk too but high...well that was just nice. It just smoothed everything out, took the edge off his life and made it more bearable.
"What the hell are you doing?" an annoyed voice asked from above him, startling him from his daydreaming.
"Dean!" Adam cried, his eyes shooting open to see his older brother glaring down at him.
"It smells like Cheech and Chong's asshole in here!" Dean growled, reaching down to pull Adam out of the bed.
Adam let himself be pulled up to standing, feeling his pleasant high start to slip away.
"And you've got a freaking kid in here!" Dean shouted, pointing at Josh and his little brother.
"Dean…" Adam said slowly.
"You two," Dean snapped, cutting Adam off, "You got somewhere else you can be?"
Adam noticed that Josh and Kyle had stood up as well, Josh on guard and Kyle's big owl eyes peeking out from behind his brother's back.
Josh nodded solemnly at Dean.
"Then get going," Dean said, his voice tight with frustration.
Josh nodded again and reached down to grab their coats, handing the smaller of the two to his brother. They quietly shrugged them on, turning to walk out the door.
"Hey," Dean called, making Josh turn back to him warily, "That your little brother?"
Josh eyed Dean carefully as if sizing him up as a potential threat before answering.
"Yeah."
"Don't bring him around this shit man. Be better," Dean said earnestly, with a quick glance at Kyle's frightened young eyes.
Josh stared back a Dean for a moment before giving him another solemn nod in acknowledgment. He put his arm around his little brother and led him out of the motel room, stepping over the salt in the doorway and gently closing the door behind him.
"What are you doing?" Dean questioned, whirling back around to face his own little brother, his grip still tight on Adam's upper arm.
"What?" Adam asked in an annoyed haze, wishing he could hold on to the soft buzz that was quickly evaporating.
"This…" Dean said waving an arm around the room, "What the hell?"
Adam shrugged and shook off Dean's hold on his arm.
Dean stared at him incredulously before shaking his head in disappointment.
"You gonna lecture me?" Adam asked, sitting down on the bed, watching his brother walk around the room picking up food wrappers and empty cans.
"You want me to?" Dean replied, not looking at his brother.
"No."
"Then no," Dean said shortly, depositing the trash he'd collected into the garbage can by the door.
Dean didn't need to lecture Adam. He didn't need to say anything. Adam could taste the disappointment and frustration filling the room.
"What? What do you expect me to do here all by myself?" Adam shouted, suddenly angry.
"I don't know man..." Dean said exasperated, tossing another handful of candy wrappers in the trash, "but this ain't top of the list,"
"You don't know what it's like," Adam huffed, feeling petulant and sorry for himself.
"No kid…I don't," Dean snapped, glaring at him.
The words were there between them, heavy and unsaid. Dean didn't know what it was like because he was never left alone. He was left in charge. Dean carried around the responsibly of his brothers when Dad left him behind. Dean had to take care of them all, be responsible for himself and his younger brothers. All Adam had to do was take care of himself and he was doing a pretty crappy job of it.
"Shove your freaking martyrdom Dean!" Adam yelled, choosing anger over embarrassment and shame.
"You wanna fight?" Dean tested, turning to face his brother head on, "You really wanna fight? Cause you're being an idiot - you wanna fight?"
Adam glared at his brother, letting the silence between them build in the room.
"No!" Adam finally shouted, making Dean's eyebrows rise in doubt.
"I mean… maybe," Adam grouched, feeling annoyed and frustrated, "I mean… shit! I don't know."
Dean just shook his head at his brother's ramblings.
"Clean this shit up," he said, waving an arm around the disheveled room, "And open a freaking window,"
Dean turned without another word and walked out, letting the motel room door slam behind him.
Adam flopped down onto the bed, his feelings jumbled and his high lost.
-/-/-
Dean walked back into the motel room an hour later to find Adam freshly showered, sitting on the bed watching tv, the room cleaned up and smelling significantly less skunky.
"Peace offering," he said, putting a bag of warm burgers and fries on the table in the room.
Adam gave him a faint smile and a nod, his face reddening in embarrassment. He knew that the kid was sorry for screaming at him, sorry for the hurtful words and probably mostly sorry that he got caught.
Dean sat down at the table and waited for Adam to sit down across from him before pulling out a burger and handing it to his brother.
"How was the hunt?" Adam asked, trying to make a peace offering of his own.
"Good," Dean said, unwrapping his burger and inspecting it for the extra onions he'd asked for, "Easy enough."
Adam took a bite of his burger and nodded at his brother.
"You could have come," Dean said quietly, "It would have been fine,"
"Tell that to Dad," Adam said just as quietly, the softness in his voice not quite hiding the resentment.
"I will," Dean said sincerely, "I will tell him. You're old enough Adam, trained enough too. You should be hunting. Not back here killing your brain cells,"
Adam looked up from his burger to gauge his brother's sincerity, unsure if Dean was teasing him.
"I do wanna hunt Dean. I don't care if it's with you or with Dad. I want to hunt," Adam said his voice steady.
"I know," Dean replied, nodding.
Adam needed to hunt. Dean could see it. He needed the hunt in the same way that Dean needed it: to feel in control, like he was actually worth something like he was making a difference in the world. After what happened to his mom, Adam deserved to get his revenge. The kid deserved to work through that pain and get redemption in the only way Dean knew possible. Adam was too angry at the world and what he'd suffered not to hunt. It was becoming clearer the older the kid got. Maybe in the beginning there was a flicker of a chance of Adam being normal, being whatever Kate had hoped he'd become, but life with the Winchesters was quickly blowing out that flame.
They didn't say anything for a while, long enough that they both finished their burgers and began to pick at the fries that were left on the table between them.
"Are you gonna tell Dad about today?" Adam asked, studying his brother intently.
"No," Dean replied shaking his head, "I happen to like you alive," he teased.
Adam smirked.
"But you need to be more careful with that shit," Dean said, wadding up the wrapper of his burger.
"Why? Cause it's bad for me?" Adam goaded.
"Yeah bad for your life span when I can get the drop on your stoned ass by just walking in the room,"
Adam couldn't meet his brother's eye and Dean knew he'd hit a nerve. The dig came out more John Winchester-style then Dean really meant it to, but the truth was there.
Dean was well aware of the trouble Adam liked to get into, both when Dean was around and when he wasn't. Adam thought he was slick, but he wasn't the first sneaky little brother Dean had kept tabs on. He knew all about Adam's scams at the schools he went to: selling Sam's old essays, making fake ids, breaking into anything locked down. He knew about the booze, the parties, the pot. Dean knew about all of it, but he'd never call Adam on it. Who was he to say anything? Dean drank. He smoked. He'd tried about every drug there was just to say he did. He wasn't a hypocrite. As far as Dean was concerned, as long as Adam kept himself safe, his little brother could experiment with all the trouble he wanted.
But he did worry.
Maybe it was just the overprotective big brother in him, but Dean feared that Adam's propensity for dumb teenage trouble and his reckless anger at the world would lead him into something much darker than stealing cash from the teacher's lounge.
Adam was shifting uncomfortably in his chair under his brother's gaze, his humiliation evident.
"Look," Dean said, catching Adam's eye, "I'll talk to Dad about getting you out to hunt more. But you gotta cool it with all that other shit ok? I'm serious,"
"What other shit?" Adam asked, lying through his teeth.
"You can knock that off too," Dean snapped. The kid lied as much as he breathed, and it was really starting to piss Dean off, "You're a fucking delinquent,"
"I am not!" Adam snapped, offended
"You are," Dean said with a shrug, "and it's bullshit. We taught you all this stuff so you can help people. Save people. Not so you can steal crap to impress your loser friends,"
"They're not losers Dean!" Adam barked, his fists clenching on the motel table between them.
"Yeah. They are," Dean replied flatly, "And you are too when you hang out with them."
"Shut up Dean," Adam ground out, "You don't know what you're talking about,"
"I know that you think you are one of those kids, Adam. But you're not," Dean said, staring intently at his younger brother, "You think you connect with them cause they have shitty lives and shitty parents."
Dean leaned on the table, focusing in on his little brother.
"You're not like them, Adam," he said quietly, "You're more than they are. You know more. You can do more. You're meant for more. Everything that I'm teaching you, everything that Dad is asking of you, it's because you're not normal, kid. You're never gonna be normal. But trust me… this, what we are, it's a lot better than normal."
"Dean…" Adam said, his voice barely above a whisper, "You're the hero, not me"
"Yes, little brother you are," Dean said seriously, catching Adam's tear-filled eyes when he looked up in surprise.
"Your heart is always in the right place, even when you do stupid shit. You care about people… you care about them more than you care about yourself…and that's what's gonna make you a great hunter,"
Adam's bottom lip was quivering and Dean could tell the kid was trying his damnest not to cry.
"Jesus…I must be on my period," he said, choking out an awkward laugh and wiping his eyes.
Dean laughed, grateful for the break in the tension.
"So you'll really talk to Dad?" Adam asked, taking a deep breath to try to calm down.
"I mean I'll do what I can," Dean replied, leaning back in his chair, "Some cases you won't be ready for yet, but I'll go to bat for you,"
"Thanks, man," Adam said sincerely, "You think he'll go for it?"
"I don't know, but having another son who wants to hunt is better than having another who wants to run away,"
The words slipped from Dean's mouth before he even realized he'd said them, staring across the table at Adam's surprised expression. That topic was off-limits. Not in almost 2 years had they even said his name to each other.
"You know Sa-"
"I gotta take a leak," Dean interrupted, abruptly cutting off whatever mention of their brother Adam was preparing.
"No chick flick moments huh?" Adam called out sarcastically as Dean threw himself into the bathroom, slamming the door closed harder than necessary.
Shame flooded his veins, twisting his gut and brining out a cold sweat on his forehead. Dean leaned on the sink, trying to catch his breath, avoiding his disgraceful reflection in the mirror. Two years later and the feelings were still so raw and jumbled that he could barely live with them.
He shook his head hard, trying to get control of himself.
Not today. Not that brother.
Today was for the brother out there. The brother who was still here. The one he could still help.
Dean fought to keep that thought at the forefront of his mind.
Be better, he reminded himself.
He could be better for Adam than he was for Sam.
He would be.
-/-/-
Author's Note- I hoped you like the wrap up of Adam's weekend! Thank you to everyone who reads and reviews! I love hearing what you think about the story and getting your suggestions...NoilyPrat commented that Adam was a total delinquent and it really got my wheels spinning! So thank you for that friend! I love talking about any ideas you have about these characters so message me! I'm still working on this story, in little bits, when I get inspired and can sneak away from the real world. :)