The Nightmare August 2005 Part 4
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/
They must have knocked him out.
He came to awareness slowly, feeling his arms still pulled tightly behind his back. He tested his range of motion, felt the rope.
Nylon, he thought Friction. Something sharp.
He could get out of these ropes. He just needed something to work with. His heart was beating fast in his chest. He had to find his brothers. He'd heard Adam's cry of pain and it tormented him. He didn't want to admit how much it scared him, hearing that scream. God, he had to get there. He had to get to them.
-/-/-
"Dean man, stop," Adam said to his brother, peering behind at Dean's bloodied wrists.
Dean wouldn't stop working at the ropes. He hadn't stopped since Dad tied him up and now both his wrists were bleeding.
"I'll find them, I'll find them," he was chanting.
Adam sighed and ran a hand through his hair, feeling lost. Dean was hurting, that much was clear. He looked sick, dark circles coming up under his eyes and his skin turning grayer than Adam suspected was healthy.
"Water? Should I get you some water?" Adam asked stepping in front of his brother, careful to keep a little distance, knowing that even tied up Dean was lethal.
"Sam." Dean gasped, suddenly looking past Adam.
Adam dumbly turned around.
"Shit," he chided himself, feeling stupid for the spark of hope that ignited when he heard his brother's name. Sam was in California, none the wiser about the ordeal his family was enduring on the other coast.
"Adam!" Dean yelled pitifully, looking to Adam's left side at an empty spot on the floor.
Adam shook his head in defeat. Dad better hurry the hell up.
-/-/-/-
"Dean Winchester," a voice whispered from the dark, "How nice of you to join us."
"You son of bitch," Dean snarled, his fear twisting into fury, "Where are they? Where are my brothers?"
Dean looked around for the voice, the slippery smooth whisper that sent chills up his spine even as it infuriated him.
"Open your eyes boy," the silky voice said.
Dean's eyes were open. He was looking around franticly. Why couldn't he see anything?
"No games douchebag," Dean replied angrily, still turning and scanning the dark space.
Everything was shadows and dark. He could be in a warehouse. He could be in the forest. Hell, he could be in fucking outer space for all he knew.
Suddenly he did see Sam, just in front of him to the left. It was if Sam just appeared out of thin air. The thing must have done that. Cause Dean knew for sure Sam wasn't there a second ago.
"Sam," Dean gasped, seeing his little brother. Sam was passed out and tied up. His wrists were bound to the arms of the chair, his ankles to the wooden legs, a rag stuffed into his mouth and tied around his head. He had blood trailing down from his hairline along the left side of his face, the sight of it making Dean's heart twist.
Suddenly a flash of awareness on his right and he saw Adam similarly tied up, his legs and ankles bound, gagged but awake. His young eyes wide and frightened, looking at Dean in unconcealed panic.
"Adam," Dean called out.
Dean's attention was pulled slightly as he noticed two figures walking up slowly behind his brothers. Two women sauntered in, each eyeing Dean and then his brothers.
Dean stared at them, confused. His eyes told him he was seeing human women, yet he couldn't make out exact features. He saw the shape of a face, the dark coloring where eyes and lips would be, beautiful and delicate, and yet he couldn't see the detail. If he'd tried to recall the color of the eyes that watched him, he couldn't have said. He only knew the impression of them. It was unnerving.
He watched as they walked up behind his brothers. One of them had dark hair and came behind Adam, strolling slowly as if there was no hurry for what they had planned. The other, a blonde, went behind Sam letting her hands rest gently on Sam's shoulders. The touch wasn't threatening or rough, in fact, it was almost tender, something that alarmed Dean more than if she simply hurt his brother.
"Take your hands off him," Dean snarled, glaring.
"No," the woman responded lightly, leaning down to run her hands down Sam's chest, making a show of breathing in his scent, "I don't think I will,"
Adam squeaked behind his gag and pulled Dean's attention. The brunette was behind him, doing the same. Her hands running through his hair softly, down his shoulders and chest making Adam squirm.
"Back off bitches," Dean growled, trying to keep up his mask of fury, trying not to let his fear show.
"You better watch your mouth Dean, " the blonde said over Sam's head, grabbing a fist full of Sam's dark hair pulling back hard.
Sam woke with a start at the pain and let out a muffled yelp behind his gag, his eyes wide and scanning the room, trying to take in the situation he'd found himself in.
"It's ok Sammy," Dean said calmly and he could see Sam visibly relax somewhat at the sound of his voice, "I'm gonna get you both outta here,"
"And how are you gonna do that?" the blonde asked, trailing a sharp fingernail down Sam's neck in a tease as she kept a tight grip on his hair.
"Oh, I don't kiss and tell," Dean mocked, glaring.
"But do your brothers?" the blonde goaded, her false flirtation making Dean's stomach turn as she ran a gentle hand over Sam's jaw as he tried to turn away.
Dean pulled on the ropes around his wrists again, feeling them slick with his blood. That was not gonna help his chances of getting free.
A flash of silver caught his attention.
The blonde had a knife.
"You like?" She asked, showing him the sharp blade, "She's got one too," she said nodding to her partner.
Dean glanced over to see the dark-headed woman standing behind Adam, one hand on his shoulder the other holding up a bright silver blade.
"What the hell do you want?" Dean asked, looking between them, conscious of both his brothers' eyes on him. They needed him to figure this out. They needed him to get out of this. He had to get them out of this. He fought to control the panic building inside him.
Keep your head in the game, he scolded himself.
"Why Dean Winchester, you don't know?" the dark-headed girl asked, finally speaking, "I thought you cracked the case?"
A foggy remembered thought fought to make its way to the front of his awareness but stayed just out of his reach.
The case?
Dean glanced at his brothers again. Adam was twisting his wrists in the rope, looking for slack. Sam was feeling around the edges of the armrests with his fingers, trying to find a nail or splinter he could use. He needed to give them time. He needed to get these ladies away from them, distract them.
"I did… I did," he said slipping from fear into a forced flirtation of his own, "You got me, ladies…you found me out,"
He couldn't judge their reaction, their faces weren't clear enough but he hoped he could keep them talking, keep their hands off his brothers long enough that Sam or Adam could make a move.
"It's not gonna be that easy Dean," the blonde said, catching onto his trick too early and leaning down again to run her hands through Sam's hair, tugging hard when he tried to pull away.
Dean watched as she kept one hand in Sam's hair, holding him tightly and with the other slowly traced the sharp knife down the side of his brother's face. Sam froze and closed his eyes tightly, flinching as the knife traced a thin red line of blood from his forehead down his cheek.
"Stop it!" Dean demanded.
"Ok," she said suddenly, pulling back the knife and standing up straight.
She glanced over at her partner.
The dark-haired figure nodded. She grabbed Adam's hair hard, making him yelp and pulled his neck back, slowly dragging her own knife down across the side of his face leaving a line of dripping red.
Adam whined miserably behind his gag and Dean's heart broke. The kid hated blood.
"Fucking stop it!" Dean screamed.
-/-/-/-
"Stop what?" Adam asked, watching Dean and trying to understand what his brother was seeing.
When was Dad coming back? How long was he supposed to just sit here and watch Dean suffer? Was there anything he could do, anything he should be doing to try to pull Dean out of the hallucinations?
"Dean, man, listen to me," Adam said crouching in front of his brother, "It's Adam. I'm ok. Sam's ok. You're gonna be ok,"
Dean didn't acknowledge him, just looked over Adam's head, his eyes flittering between two empty spots on the floor.
"Can you hear me, Dean?" Adam asked, trying again and looking into his brother's eyes.
All he could see was fear and panic.
Whatever Dean was seeing, it was bad.
-/-/-/-
"What do you want?" Dean demanded, drawing the women's attention and they thankfully pulled the knives away.
Both women turned slightly to look at each other and Dean's stomach lurched.
"We want you to choose Dean Winchester," the blonde said, "Choose which brother you want to live."
There was suddenly no air. No sounds. No color. Whatever there was in the world exploded into a white nothingness in his mind.
Choose.
The word sizzled into his consciousness like a branding iron.
Dean thought he might throw up.
"I can't," he said breathlessly, looking between the women, trying to ignore the pained looks on his brother's faces.
"That's what we want Dean," the blonde said softly running her hand down Sam's neck.
"Take me," Dean demanded, trying to stand up, trying to face them head on, pulling on the ropes around his wrists and ankles.
"No," the dark-headed one scoffed, "We don't want you."
"No…" the blonde echoed, "You're just too…"
She looked him over slowly, intensely, as if she could see every part of himself that he kept hidden away.
"…damaged."
"You can have me. I'll do anything you want," Dean bartered, "Anything."
"No thanks," the brunette mused, leaning down to nibble Adam's earlobe, making his brother shudder.
"Leave him alone" Dean growled, hot fury rising again.
"So choose Dean," the blonde offered, picking up her knife and coming to stand beside Sam, dragging the knife up his arm, slicing away his flannel and leaving a stream of red blood in its wake, "Choose who we kill and choose who we let live,"
"No!" Dean shouted, "I won't choose! I can't"
-/-/-/-
Choose?
Adam watched his brother writhe and twist against the wall, his eyes wild with terror and pain.
A sudden realization hit him, knocking him back on his heels.
Dean was seeing his brothers. Seeing him and Sam. Thinking he had to choose between them.
"Fuck…no," Adam whispered.
No. This wasn't happening. If this was Dean's worst nightmare, it was Adam's too. He didn't wanna know who Dean would choose. He and Dean had finally become brothers. They finally had the relationship that Adam craved. Affectionate, fun, protective; everything Adam needed from a big brother, everything he was missing after Sam left.
If Dean has to choose….
Adam's heart dropped at the thought.
-/-/-/-/
"Come on Dean-o," the blonde teased, coming back around behind Sam.
"No. No way," Dean said adamantly. "Take me. Kill me."
"We don't want you, Dean," she replied flatly.
"But we do like seeing you suffer," the dark-headed one joked, pointing her knife in his direction as she casually ran her hands through Adam's short hair.
"You can do anything to me," he offered, "I won't fight you."
"No. You won't," the blonde confirmed, her smooth voice making his skin crawl, "But you have to choose Dean. You can only save one. Who will it be?"
Dean's eyes darted back and forth between his captive brothers. They were both helpless. They both needed him.
"I can't…" Dean whispered, his voice cracking, "Please."
"Oh Dean, come on now," the blonde goaded, "Who's it gonna be?"
"Stop it," Dean demanded weakly.
"Now Dean if you don't choose we'll just kill them both. Then you'll be all alone. And we know how well you deal with being alone right?"
"I can't choose. Please…" Dean couldn't hold back the tears anymore. They weren't getting out of this. They were all trapped.
Heavy, black despair was creeping up on him.
"Kill me. Kill me." He insisted.
"No."
The brunette suddenly took her knife and stabbed it down into Adam's thigh making him scream.
"Adam! No!" Dean roared, "You bastards!"
"Choose Dean," the blonde ordered, as the dark-haired girl pulled the knife from Adam's leg wiping his blood off on his shirt. Adam trembled and cried, tears running down his face
Dean shook his head, feeling more helpless than ever.
"Sam next then?" the blonde offered.
"No!" Dean yelled, "Please. Don't do this. Why? Why are you doing this?" he begged, his own tears streaming down his face.
"Because Dean. Your fear is delicious."
"Please." he begged, "Please just stop. I can't…."
"Oh you will…" the woman reaffirmed.
-/-/-
"Dean man shut up! Please shut up!" Adam begged, scooting away from his brother, tearing at his hair, wanting to cover his ears but terrified to do so.
He didn't wanna hear this. He didn't wanna see this.
Dean was openly crying now, begging someone that Adam couldn't see. Adam couldn't stand it. He'd seen Dean hurt. He'd seen him tied up and kidnapped. He'd seen him scared and fighting.
He'd never seen his brother like this.
Broken.
Dean was scream crying now. Pleading. Begging. Sobbing.
"Dean!" Adam cried, pulling his knees to his chest and hiding his own sobs, "Stop talking Dean. Stop it. Please."
-/-/-
"I can't choose," Dean sobbed.
The blonde was behind Sam again, his head pulled back and the sharp knife pointed into his windpipe making Sam struggle to breathe.
"Choose."
The brunette was behind Adam leaning over his shoulder, her arm wrapped tightly around his neck, her knife pointed squarely in his rib cage.
"One brother lives," she said, "…or no brothers live,"
Dean sobbed.
He fought against the ropes.
He screamed.
"Last chance…" the blonde said, digging the knife into Sam's neck making him shudder, just as the other woman pushed her knife into Adam's chest making him scream behind the gag.
"Who will you save?"
"I…I…" Dean stammered, sobs stealing his breath.
Sam wheezed.
Adam gasped.
"Sam. Save Sam," Dean yelled, collapsing in agony.
-/-/-/-
The name was like a knife through Adam's chest.
Sam.
Save Sam.
Adam sobbed alongside his brother. It hurt. It hurt so bad.
He knew it. He knew it was always gonna be Sam. Some deep part of him knew that he'd never have what they had. He would never, could never, be for them what they were for each other. He'd always be on the outside.
It was a new feeling of heartbreak. A painful realization of his place in his family's hierarchy and within his own brother's heart.
Adam wanted Dean to choose him. Of course, he did. They'd become so close. They spent so much time together now with Dad gone. They trained together, hung out together, chased girls together.
Dean was his best friend.
Was.
Adam had fooled himself into thinking that he and Dean could have something even close to what Dean and Sam shared. He thought that since he'd also been through trauma, also experienced life under the unyielding reign of John Winchester that he also deserved that close brotherly bond.
He'd wanted it. He wanted it so badly. He'd tried so hard.
Adam cried, burying his face against his knees letting himself mourn, ignoring Dean's own miserable sobs.
-/-/-/-
John sprinted back to the cabin, praying like hell that when he'd killed that evil she-beast whatever toxins she'd infected Dean with would evaporate with her.
He burst through the door to find Dean slumped against the wall, still tied up and Adam sitting on the floor across from his brother, staring into the distance.
"Is he?" John whispered, not willing to say the words.
"Asleep, I think," Adam replied blankly.
John rushed over, reaching out to feel for the pulse point on Dean's neck. It was strong and steady.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out his switchblade, making quick work of the ropes he'd tied.
"Get the medkit Adam," he ordered, inspecting Dean's raw and bloodied wrists. Shit, the kid had fought hard.
Adam appeared at his side with the kit and handed it out.
"How long has he been out?" John asked, carefully disinfecting and wrapping his son's injuries.
"I don't know…" Adam mumbled.
"You don't know?" John asked shortly, still focused on Dean.
"No."
John looked up to study his youngest son, who stood silently.
"You alright there boy?" he asked.
Adam looked at him indifferently, "Yes sir."
John studied him skeptically a moment longer until a moan from Dean pulled away his attention.
"Help me get him up," John ordered.
Adam did as he was told and grabbed Dean's left side as John grabbed the right. Together they got Dean onto the only bed in the cabin, situating him so his injured wrists were protected.
"He's at least sleeping peacefully now," John commented, watching Dean's deep and easy breathing, "He should wake up soon,"
Adam stood on the other side of the bed and nodded.
"Will he remember?" he asked quietly.
John considered his youngest, taking in the blotches on his cheeks and the red rimming of both his eyes, wondering what Adam had seen of his brother and if John should question him about it.
"I hope not," John answered, deciding to give his son some time, some distance to process the event.
"Me too," Adam replied seriously.
-/-/-
Dean came to awareness slowly, opening his eyes and taking in his surroundings without moving, his habit when he awoke unsure of where he was.
He was in the cabin, on a bed, staring up at the dark wooden slats of the roof. Cutting his eyes to the side, he saw Dad. His father was slumped in a chair, asleep, his boots propped up on the bed.
Dean blinked again, orienting himself and pushed up onto his elbows, looking around for Adam. The move woke Dad immediately.
"Dean?" he asked, examining his son carefully.
"Yeah, I'm ok…" Dean said, holding in a groan of pain. His entire body ached. He felt like he'd been sleeping in a moving cement truck, "Where's Adam?"
Dad nodded to the open door, where Dean could see the larger cabin room, and noticed a blonde head resting on the arm of the couch.
Dean lay back down, calmer now that he knew where his brother was and that he was safe. He sighed, mentally running through his body and cataloging his aches and pains. He lifted one arm to check the stinging pain he felt and found his wrist wrapped in bandages, light red blood seeping through in spots.
"What happened?" he asked, studying the cotton.
Dad licked his lips and sighed before he replied.
"Had to tie you up," he explained, not able to meet his son's eye.
"Oh…" Dean nodded, untroubled by the admission.
"You fought like hell though," Dad said giving him a proud smile.
It was as close to a compliment as he'd gotten from Dad in years. Dean smiled and scoffed; brushing it off with a shrug hoping his excitement wasn't too obvious on his face.
"He ok?" Dean asked, nodding out to the couch where Adam was asleep.
"No injuries," Dad replied.
Dean could sense the elusiveness in his tone but knew better than to question his father any further. Dad would tell him more if he needed to know.
"Anyone else hurt? That 15-year-old?" Dean asked, curious as to how the rest of the case played out.
"She's fine. When I killed it, everyone who was affected by the toxins was released," Dad explained.
"Checkout girl huh?" Dean winced.
Dad nodded, eyeing Dean deliberately.
"Son of bitch," Dean grumbled, embarrassed.
Dean could tell his father was holding back on the lecture he wanted to give. On why the orders he gave had to be followed to the letter, lest the young Winchesters find themselves trapped by the very thing they were hunting.
"So can we go now?" asked a voice from the bedroom doorway.
Dean looked up to see Adam leaning against the frame, his face impassive.
"Yeah," Dad said, sighing heavily, "We're done."
"Great. Let's get the hell outta here," Adam said dryly, turning around and walking away.
Dean glanced at his father, puzzled, "He didn't get infected did he?"
"No, he was fine," Dad said, standing up and stretching.
"Hmm..." Dean replied curiously, wracking his brain to remember the last few hours. He remembered most of the day, up to their return to the cabin and his realization that the checkout girl had infected him.
He strained to remember what happened after. He closed his eyes, thinking. Everything was black. There was a hole in his memory. He remembered a headache, a tingling in his arms and then he woke up on the bed staring at the ceiling.
Did he hurt his brother?
The kid was acting so differently all of a sudden. He was fine this morning. Just his normal sarcastic, observant teenage self. And Adam wasn't a hard kid to read. His emotions were almost always plastered clearly on his face, and while he didn't always want to talk about things (as was the Winchester way) Dean usually knew what was bothering his little brother.
So what happened?
-/-/-
An hour later they were on the road, leaving the cabin and the memories behind. Adam was slumped in the passenger seat of the Impala, passively watching the trees speed by as Dean cranked up the cassette in the tape deck.
They were following Dad to another possible case in Pittsburg, or so Dad said. Knowing what Adam knew now about his father's demon hunt he couldn't be sure if there was actually a case or if Dad was gaslighting them while he hunted demon leads.
Not that Adam really cared at the moment.
The immediate heartbreak of his older brother's choice in the nightmare had lessened, but now Adam just felt numb.
Before, when he'd first found out about Dad's demon hunt, about the thing that killed Mary Winchester, he couldn't wait to tell Dean. But now…
Well, now he had nothing to say to his brother.
He needed some time to think. To figure out what all this meant for him. What it meant to him.
-/-/-
A/N- Thank you to everyone who sticks with this series! I've literally been writing it for 4 years! The idea for this set of chapters actually came from a review from BookHoarder6 back in September. It was such a perfect idea and I'm so grateful for it! Thank you! I always love to hear what ideas you have for the Winchesters and it creates the best spark of creativity to chat about them! Thank you to everyone to takes the time to read and review, it means more than you know!