A/N: thank you to everyone for the reviews so far, and thanks to Lady Kazi for the offer of betaing this story, Lord knows I could use the extra set of eyes. Keep you posted Kazi. Now, if any of you have read any of my other stories, you know I progress relatively quickly through events in chapters, I'm kind of attention deficit like that, so if there are any areas I've written you'd like me to go back to and elaborate on and repost I can and will be happy to do so. Please forgive my lack of inner reflection from characters, I've still not quite got the hang of the whole inner thoughts and prospective thing.

Chapter Three

The Trust Game

When Harry stepped out of the shower he dried off quickly before he wrapped the towel around his waist and slowly approached the three potions on the counter. One was in a green bottle, one in a blue and another in a purple. He wasn't sure what they were for but he figured if he didn't take them he would surely regret it as Snape was not a man to be disobeyed.

Taking the blue bottle up he uncorked it and drank quick, the taste was bitter and he nearly choked. He looked at himself in the mirror and noticed the most recent scars on his chest and arms started to fade. Harry's heart sped up when he realized what the other two potions must be for. He took the green bottle and repeated the process, the bitterness not near as bad as the blue one and he saw the bruising around his ribs fading. They had come from his uncle, two days prior to Snape coming to fetch him. They had been on the mend when Snape had come to see him at his relatives and by this point were near faded but thanks to Snape's potion had now vanished, all tenderness completely gone.

The third bottle was smaller than the first two but Harry's now shaking hand took it up and removed the cork. It tasted like peppermint and green tea and the young man felt the heat and pressure in his head slowly start to dissipate.

So the blue bottle was for cuts and scars, the green for swelling and bruising and the purple was a fever reducer. At least as far as Harry could guess anyway, and the fact that Snape had grabbed them for him… Harry shook his head. It was the man's responsibility to keep him safe… to protect him. But neither the bruising nor the scars had been life threatening, more so cosmetic than anything, so Snape had done it to be… considerate? Harry didn't want to dwell, once again he found himself surprised by the man and his actions but it was only day two and they had a very long road ahead of them.

Harry realized it was stupid to hold out hope for any long term comradery between them so as he got dressed he pushed all thoughts of friendship and belonging far from his mind. The most important thing right now was to go downstairs and convince Snape, however futile it seemed, to not tell anyone what he had witnessed. As far as Harry could tell, when Snape had given him aid for his sunburn the man had not noticed the other marks, either because he had not been looking for them or his subconscious had elected to block them out. But whatever the case, Harry did not want to focus on the truths he was about to ask the man to hide. Snape owed him no favors so this could end up putting Harry under the man's proverbial thumb.

The boy swallowed thickly at that thought but continued to dress and when he was ready he left the bathroom and headed, albeit reluctantly, downstairs.

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Severus could not even begin to think of where or how to start this conversation, he had never been in the same position. At least, not with an adult, adults never listened or cared, half the time they didn't believe you. Severus knew all about the lack of empathy adults could have towards those young who suffered through such trials. Now here he was, one of the said adults with the ability to do something and it turned out to be for the boy who most thought had everything.

How was he supposed to deal with this? When Lily had found out how bad his homelife was, she had been so ready to march into her parents and tell them. She had wanted to ask them for help on his behalf and like a scared little idiot… or maybe it had been his pride… he had made her promise not to tell. He had said many things in order to persuade her, but it wasn't until she had agreed to it that he had felt a certain degree of trust start to grow-

There it was, like a cold bucket of water or a smack to the face, ironically, Lily had given him the answer. This could be the first step he needed to gain the boy's trust. Severus couldn't blatantly agree not to tell, he had to put up a fight, but if he approached this situation correctly he know from his own experiences exactly what he needed to do.

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When Harry got to the top of the stairs he hesitated, there wasn't enough time to come up with a game plan so he would have to play this by ear, do his best to read a man who spent his days being unreadable. As a spy, Harry could only imagine what Snape's "poker face" must look like, but he had to try, had to stop this from going down a road it didn't need to go down. Harry was one year away from being able to live on his own, he didn't want to deal with the hassle of people worrying or trying to fix a problem that was near over.

He had spent his life with the Dursley's and no one had seemed to care before, so why would anyone, especially Snape, care now? This should be an easy task, but for some reason the dread in his stomach wouldn't leave.

Taking the plunge Harry descended slowly and when he got to the bottom of the stairs he pushed the door open and poked his head around the side. Snape was sitting in his chair, head resting on the tall back with eyes closed, palms on the armrests with fingers spread wide.

"You wanted to see me sir?" Harry asked softly.

"Sit down Potter, I'm not going to speak to you from round that door." the man said, his voice sounded slightly irritated but otherwise unemotional.

Harry shuffled slowly before he sat down, placing his hands on his knees, the silence that followed was telling but neither said anything for a moment. Harry couldn't manage it for long so decided to brave the first words, "Sir, about what you just saw-"

"I'm not going to pretend like I truly care Potter. I don't have the ability to feed into such matters, nor am I any good at offering false comfort or soothing words of reassurance. What is going to happen is I am going to ask you questions, you will answer them...truthfully. If you lie I will know and rest assured I, unlike some, will not hesitate to use other means to find the truth. Do you understand?"

The man's eyes were still closed and his head still back, his fingers seemed to grip the chair a little firmer as he waited for Harry's response, "Yes, sir." Harry said.

"Very well, let's begin. How long has the abuse from your relatives been going on?"

It was a simple question so Harry gave a simple answer, "As long as I can remember."

"And you've told no one because?"

"I didn't see a need to sir." Harry answered automatically.

Snape still didn't look at him, but he seemed to be thinking over Harry's last statement carefully, "So your own well being wasn't a concern of yours?"

Harry had to think about this a moment, had to seriously consider what the man was asking him. Did Harry think his own well being wasn't worth bothering others with his problem? Or was it something else, why had he never told Dumbledore why he didn't want to go home for the summer? Why did he never tell Ron or Hermione the truth, or Mrs. Weasley or even Sirius?

Snape wanted the truth and Harry only had one answer, "I didn't think anyone would care…. I tried to tell Professor Dumbledore at the end of my first year… I asked him if I could stay at the school…"

"That is never an option for any student, abused or otherwise, however you have always managed to be a special case haven't you?"

The tone Snape gave set Harry on edge and his anger bristled as he snapped out, "I'm no special case sir, surely I'm not the only student who has to deal with annoying relatives. And I never asked for special treatment."

"Remaining at school over the summer holiday would be considered special treatment, not to mention you'd be running away from your problems like a coward. You should have told the Headmaster directly instead of beating around the bush and trying to hide such things from him."

Harry's teeth clenched and his hands balled into fists, "You really think Professor Dumbledore doesn't know?"

Snape finally opened his eyes and looked at him, raising his head and tapping a finger on the armrest, "You assume the Headmaster would leave you there if he did?"

"I'm not assuming anything, but Professor Dumbledore usually seems to know everything else. How could he not have known?"

"The Headmaster is a very powerful wizard, and I will admit his powers of observation are uncanny, but he cannot see everything, which leads me to wonder-"

Harry glared at him carefully, turning his head to the side slightly as he waited for the question that was surely to come, "Why would you expect no one to care?"

It was not the question Harry had been expecting, not from Snape at least, it seemed almost stupid….not something the man would ask, considering who he was and their relationship in the past. Snape wanted the truth but Harry wasn't sure he had an answer, if he had told his friends they would have urged him to tell Dumbledore. If he had told Dumbledore the man either would or wouldn't have done something, what would have been worse, making the man worry and try to find another place for him to stay? Or to hear the man dismiss his claims and say there was nothing he could do.

Harry had tried to tell his teachers back when he had been going to the muggle schools but it never seemed to do any good, he was always the liar and his relatives were the poor people who had to deal with him. Harry was troubled, Harry was unstable and Harry just wanted attention…. No one wanted to deal with the truth or put the time and effort into finding it. Harry had given up, one of the few times in his life that he had and suddenly he felt ashamed.

More anger flared in his chest and he looked away bitterly, "Because no one does care."

"That's a very large assumption to make, considering how your friends seem to worry about you so readily." Snape offered with a resentful tone

"Look Professor, I don't tell people because I don't want people to know. It's my problem and I'll deal with it." Harry snapped back.

"Funny, it doesn't look like you've been dealing with it, in fact, I'd say you've been doing nothing at all considering the state in which I found you."

Harry redoubled his glare as his hands fisted tighter, "I didn't see you caring much, you saw my history, saw my back and dealt with my food poisoning. You didn't even question-"

"You didn't seem to want to answer." The man said quickly cutting him off.

"Because it's none of your business, it's no ones business but mine. Whatever happens to me in that house isn't anyone's problem but my own and I will handle it!" Harry very nearly shouted.

Snape stared at him a moment before he stood quickly and said, "I'm afraid not."

"What? What are you doing?" Harry asked standing as well.

"I'm going to inform the Headmaster of the situation. He will come here, we will discuss it and then figure out where to go after-"

"No." Harry said as he shook his head quickly.

"You've no say in the matter." Snape countered.

"I've every say in the matter, it's my life!"

"What right do you have to your life if you choose to treat it so poorly? You've given up the right to your life as soon as you let yourself be beaten down by people who, even by wizarding standards, are unfit guardians."

Snape turned to go and Harry felt his breathing come in fast uneven puffs, anxiety ripped through him and he felt a white hot anger spill through his core, "NO!" Harry yelled as he moved quick to grab Snape's forearm.

As he yanked the man back Snape jerked away and rounded on him, shoving Harry back down onto the couch and pointing a finger right into the boy's face, "You little brat, don't think a temper tantrum is going to stop the inevitable. You are just a child and don't know what's good for you! Now, stop acting like the world will end as I am most satisfied to tell you the world doesn't revolve around you and will continue to function even when the truth comes out."

Snape instantly shoved away from him and started to walk towards the stairs and Harry didn't know what else to do, so he did the one thing he swore he would never do in his life. Lunging up from the couch he rushed after Snape and fell to his knees, his hands gripping onto the hem of the man's robes, "Please!" he urged and the man instantly stopped to slowly look down at him, "I'll serve detention every Saturday for the next year, I'll- I'll double my efforts in class… I'll scrub every cauldron you have just don't tell Dumbledore, don't tell anyone. Please!"

Snape was silent for a moment, his dark cold eyes studying the desperate face before him as the boy rested on his knees fisting tightly to the hem, the black fabric seemed to make the boys face even more pale causing the dark red scare on his forehead to jump to attention.

"You are acting ridiculous." Snape said as he twisted away violently and came to stand before the boy whose head had looked away in humiliation and bitter shame.

"Please, don't say anything… no one needs to know. I'm fine, really I am, and by next year I'll be seventeen anyway, it won't matter. It's just wasted effort and I'm not worth it."

Snape said nothing for a moment, just standing there before him with arms crossed and face blank of any emotion. Finally the man stiffly knelt down before him and Harry's eyes grew wide, they didn't look up to meet the man but the surprise in his actions showed none the less. Snape took up his chin and Harry quickly tried to jerk away but Snape wouldn't have it, "You will look at me." He hissed through clenched teeth and he tighten his hold on the boys face.

Green eyes reluctantly jerked up to stare into Snape's black ones and the boy nearly winced, "You may not value your own life, but others do. It's more selfish to allow yourself to be hurt in order to spare them then it is to tell them the truth when it is too late. I guarantee they will be more upset to know how long you've kept it from them then the fact of you bothering them with it. As for your pathetic attempt to bribe me into silence… you could have done better."

Harry's brow furrowed in confusion and Snape gave a very faint smirk, "Then again, you're a Gryffindor, I wouldn't expect you to know something more often associated with my own house of Slytherin. Now, you'll get up, stop sniveling and offer me something worth while or I'll go to the Headmaster right now."

He released Harry's face and stood up, placing his hands behind his back and waited stiffly for the boy to stand. Harry slowly got to his feet and thought about it, having no clue what the man could possibly want or what he could give him.

"What would you want?" Harry asked softly as his eyes stared at the floor and his shoulders slumped in defeat.

Snape sighed and cocked his head to the side, "How unimaginative. Very well, I will keep your secret and will not share it with anyone, in return I want you to allow me to perform a full diagnostic spell on you. We will then have a very lengthy discussion about how each injury occurred and you will allow me to write it down."

Harry just stared at him, brow raised in confusion. What other choice did he have? It was either this, or let him tell Dumbledore, something that seemed rather pointless now considering his age and the circumstances he was currently in.

"I also expect you to finish the rest of your homework… ALL of it, you will allow me to check it and you will correct said work until I am satisfied, this does include straightening out those rather atrocious notes I saw you pull out last night."

Harry nodded slowly, unsure if this was more for Snape's benefit or his own but the man didn't seem to be finished, "And lastly, you will inform me any and every time you have a dream regarding the Dark Lord."

"Sir,"

"No exceptions… am I clear? Or I call Dumbledore and tell him everything."

Harry nodded again but kept his eyes down, he could handle the diagnostic spell, and he could handle the extra effort in regards to his homework and notes… but those dreams… they were so personal, so terrible and just wrong. The man hadn't asked him to explain them simply inform him so perhaps he wouldn't have to dwell on them but he never really told anyone when it happened, save for last year when Mr. Weasley had been in trouble.

His friends just always seemed to know, that's what made them such good friends, maybe this situation would turn out okay, maybe it wouldn't, but at the moment it was his only option so he simply had to comply.

"You agree to my terms then?" Snape asked and Harry spoke softly, "Yes sir."

"All of them?"

"Yes."

Snape stared at him and slowly held out his hand, Harry eyed it carefully, as if it was some sort of trick. He felt strange shaking on such an agreement but regardless took up the larger man's hand and they shook.

The movement of their two hands up and down was quick and stiff, but in the split second between joining hands and releasing Harry felt a small tingle run up his arm. The man's hand was dry and warm, nothing like Harry had expected and a slither of something rolled in his stomach. It was the first time their skin had ever connected as neither Snape nor Harry had ever had a reason to touch skin before but as their hands dropped Snape seemed to have noticed the same thing. His dark eyes just barely glancing down towards their hands before he seemed to shake his head and turn away, "You will follow me." He said softly.

"What? Now?" Harry asked in surprise.

"Did I stutter? Hurry up!" and Harry quickly moved after his professor as they headed for the stairs.

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To Severus's surprise the entire ordeal had gone relatively well, not quite as smoothly as he had hoped, nor with the exact same result as when he had been young, but adding the addendums to their agreement had taken the boy by surprise. So, not only had Severus agreed to keep the boy's secrets hidden, he had also shown a certain amount of care for the boy's physical welfare, his schooling and his mental state of mind.

Severus had no doubt the boy would eventually put it together as some sort of hidden agenda, a way for the man to care without showing it. The boy was inept at the best of times but seemed to have a rather large amount of empathy. No doubt Potter would pick apart the entire situation later tonight and hopefully the boy would come to the same conclusion and a small spark of trust would ignite.

For now, they were on their way to Severus's room, the next part of his plan meant to win the boy over. As reluctant as he was to let the boy into his personal and private space, he needed to get over it and allow the boy in. This would give Harry the opportunity to view him as more than a teacher. Harry would see him as a person, though Severus really hated the idea more than he wanted to admit.

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When Harry saw Snape bypass his bedroom and head for the door at the end of the hall he felt his stomach lurch. They were going into Snape's room, why were they going into snape's room?

As the man reached for the door handle, a round black metal knob whose gloss had faded years ago, he stopped and glanced over his shoulder, "This is required for part of our deal, you will not abuse this privilege or touch anything unless I say so, understand?"

Harry simply nodded and the man opened the door.

Once inside Harry looked around and found the space quite welcoming despite whatever preconceived notions he may have had. The floor was a dark stained wood and so was the trim on the ceiling and floor. The walls were a slate green and a intricate rug rested under the bed, peeking out at the edge to show colors of dark red, gold and blue. The bed itself was a canopy with black silk curtain and gold lining.

All the furniture matched the dark stain of the floor and the curtains which hung around the window held a pearlescent shine. To the right stood a makeshift potions lab with cabinets above and below and in the far back right corner there was another little fireplace with two small sitting chairs and an equally small coffee table.

The smell was the most noticeable though, a hint of rosemary, firewood and a sharp but faint aftershave.

"Remove your pants, shirt and socks and then stand right here." Snape said pointing to the center of the room.

Harry didn't move a muscle to comply and Snape gave him a rather quizzical eye, "I've not brought you here to accost you, we made a deal and I expect you to follow through with it. Now, strip."

Snape turned away and went over to his lab, pulling from a drawer a leather bound journal, a quill, ink and his wand. Harry let out a small sigh and slowly complied with the rather uncomfortable request. Harry had always done his best to hide his marks, hide anything that would be telling of his rather brutal summers but this type of exposure made him feel utterly sick. Yet, it was nothing more than a means to an end, let Snape make his notes, perform his spells, it wouldn't change anything, Harry just had to bare it.

He stood there for several minutes as the man wrote something down and Harry couldn't stop the shivers that started to erupt over his body. When Snape finally turned to him he stopped his progress and eyed the boy up and down. Taking out his wand Snape gave a quick flick of his wrist and the fireplace erupted into life.

"Thanks." Harry shivered out.

Snape didn't respond he simply finished his walk to Harry and came to stop right before him, looking down into those green eyes with indifference.

"Hold out your arms and move your ankles knee width apart." The man said softly and Harry complied, "This is an in-depth diagnostic spell, it will tell me every accident or purposeful injury that has occurred in your life as well as any deficiencies or ailments you may have. You need to remain very still so the reading is accurate."

Snape didn't wait for Harry to nod, he raised his wand and softly started to murmur words. As he did this Harry noticed some of his scars started to glow. It was a warm feeling that expanded out from each blemish and at one point the glow seemed to encompass his whole body. It was like standing from head to toe in warm water but nothing kept him from breathing. The heat seemed to move inwards and resonate throughout his core and bones.

Snape gently continued to chant as his wand moved very subtly to certain points of Harry's body and when Harry was sure he was lit up like a Christmas tree he saw Snape's wand barely move to point at the scar that resided like a mark of horror on his forehead.

Instantly Harry wanted to protest but the man seemed to predict the boy's words and he held up a finger for the boy to wait. Harry complied but was terrified to feel the gentle warmth starting to burn in his forehead. He gritted his teeth and tried to bare through but only seconds later the pain exploded and he jerked back violently with a grunt and then fell down to his knees letting out a growl as his hands clamped over his forehead protectively.

"Stop!" he yelled as he tried to turn away and instantly the glow about his skin faded away and the pain dulled. He was breathing heavily when he looked to his professor whose face for once held a certain amount of confusion. Snape's wand was still extended before him but he had gently flicked his wrist so that the tip pointed to the ceiling. He continued to stare at the boy on the floor before he cocked his head to the side and then gave a hum, "Interesting."

"What is sir?" Harry asked through a wince, his question coming out in an irritated bark.

Snape seemed to debate telling him, a habit that often lead to Harry knowing nothing and trying to solve for the answer himself. However, this time, Snape surprised him, "Apparently the scar on your forehead is not an injury…. It is a result."

"A what?"

"A result of something happening, no need to say what as it has become redundant, but it would seem there is more to your mark than the Headmaster previously thought."

Harry wanted to ask more but suddenly he felt sick and he lurched forward to grab the small bin next to Snape's bedroom door.

An all too familiar scene began to play out again, with Snape standing above him, while Harry wretched into a bin, only this time there wasn't any food poisoning involved. He emptied his stomach and his hand went back up to cover his scar as it had begun to throb, "Ow, stop….please stop." Harry whispered into the bin softly as he felt tears line his eyes, "Stopstopstop!" he hissed as the ache seemed to intensify.

"Come here Potter." Snape said and the gentle tone instantly made Harry's head turn to look at him, the man stood before the window silhouetted in light with a hand outstretched towards him, face neutral and voice soft. Harry felt his insides flip again but it wasn't due to a need to empty his stomach. He reached out a hand and Snape helped him to stand, the man guided him to a chair and knelt on the ground before him.

His large hands cupped the boy's jaw in order to raise his face towards the light of the window, dark eyes observing the now ruddy red scar and the tinge of pink around its edges. Harry felt the man's thumb gently stroke over the inflamed skin and to his relief a cool sensation seemed to linger.

"What's that?" Harry asked as he locked eyes with the man, "What's what?" Snape questioned as he looked back, "Whatever you just rubbed over my scar… it feels better."

"I didn't-" and Snape stopped abruptly, releasing his hold and stiffly moving away before he turned and gazed at the boy with narrow eyes, "We need to move on. Now-" Snape flicked his wand and six sheets of paper appeared out of thin air.

"I'm going to start at the beginning, I will read a date and the injury, you will point out the mark if there is one and I will write it down, understood?"

Harry nodded and they began.

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It took three hours for the pair to get through the entire list, three bloody hours of Potter sitting in the chair in his skivvies and awkwardly pointing out each mark when applicable. At first, it hadn't been uncomfortable, most of the boy's scars and marks could be pointed out by Potter himself, it was when they got to his back that things had grown tense.

His back seemed to have taken the worst of it over the years, something Severus hadn't noticed when he had first picked the boy up because they had been hidden by a rather blistered sunburn. But as Severus had come to stand behind, he realized it was going to take some time. It grew even more uncomfortable when Severus realized he would have to help the brat by touching the tormented skin to specify which scar went with what notation on the diagnostic parchment.

If anyone were to ask him he'd say the "in-depth" diagnostic spell needed more work, such as knowing which injury went with which mark. When it was all over Severus had dismissed the boy and told him the rest of the day was his but he was to return in time to eat a late lunch at one and dinner at seven.

Injuries aside, the boy was malnourished, deficient in multiple vitamins and needed some serious nutrients as well a more sleep. It's no wonder he was so short for his age, or that he was so thin. Granted, Severus realized that spending time at School had helped the boy put on weight, but it was all for not as the few months he spent with his relatives over the summer seemed to completely destroy any progress he made. This summer he was lucky, in the two weeks he spent there he had only lost five pounds, the food poisoning no doubt playing a key role.

Severus remembered how it was after his mother had passed away, days without food, injuries that made it hard to want to even get out of bed, the verbal and physical abuse on top of starvation was hard to cope with. Severus was lucky, as his genetics seemed to continue to push him to his current height despite his lack of care. Potter hadn't been so lucky, more than likely because he had been denied enough food from the beginning, Severus had already grown quite a bit before he started truly losing out on his nutrition.

The marks though, Potter had so many, most from his family, some from his fights with the Dark Lord, and others yet that the boy couldn't even recall how they had gotten there. The only thing Severus could think was that the boy at a young age had unknowingly used his magical ability to get them to fade.

There was a particularly nasty bite mark on his leg from a dog, Severus remembered the incident as he had witnessed Harry scurrying up the tree when they had been attempting to work on the boy's Occlumency. He shivered at the thought, remembering what intimate and humiliating memories the boy had glimpsed from him.

A lucky shot as Severus had been stupid enough not to shield himself properly, he hadn't thought the boy capable, but apparently when Potter was pushed hard enough he could do many things. Still, Severus wished Albus would return from his excursion as he could use the man's advice.

So far, things had been relatively civil, the boy not pushing or fighting him near as hard as Severus thought he might. In return, Severus had been able to hold his own temper in check, a strange occurrence in regards to Potter for sure. He was grateful none the less as the two of them bashing heads over the summer would have resulted in a failure he couldn't afford.

It was nearing one, Severus had best get lunch ready.

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Severus could cook, in fact he was relatively good at it, but the very idea of cooking for someone else- let alone it being Potter, made him cringe. So he had elected to use magic, spelling the food and utensils into preparing themselves. It was a very basic lunch: fish, chips and some fresh cut fruit.

Normally he would eat in his room, working on potions, grading end of term papers and preparing his lesson plans for the new year, however, if he was going to progress in his endeavour he needed to be more sociable, a thought that nauseated him but was required nonetheless.

So, the food was sitting on the kitchen table, a place for Potter and one for himself. At five minutes past Harry came bounding into the room only to stop cold at the sight of him.

"Oh, uh… sorry I'm late." He offered.

Severus simply continued to eat without a word, a task which he found extremely difficult. Potter sat slowly and looked between the plates for a moment before he slowly reached out a hand and began to eat.

It was whole-heartedly awkward so despite his complete discomfort Severus tried to extend an olive branch, anything to make the tense air come to some sort of end, "What were you doing?" he asked stiffly and he saw the boy tense a little before green eyes peered at him from under a confused brow, "Homework." The boy offered by no means making this moment any easier on either of them.

"Which class?" the man tried hoping desperately he would be able to get some form of conversation going.

Harry suddenly seemed even more reluctant to speak, looking down and away as he brought a piece of fish to his lips and murmured, "Potions."

Thank the gods that be, Severus could do this, he just absolutely could not allow this to turn into a lecture, "Working on my end of term assignment then?"

Harry nodded slowly as he nervously took up a piece of fruit, "The Silencing Potion and The Clotting Potion."

"Both very useful." Severus said, "Especially when one must deal with first years." Severus paused mid bite, his fingers holding a piece of fruit just before his lips as his eyes scanned up to Harry who seemed to be in the same predicament, "I…" Severus started and then said, "My humor often borders on morbid and I don't usually have an eating companion." The words left his lips before he could stop them and he wanted to kick himself for even bothering.

The silence stretched a moment before Harry suddenly let out a soft chuckle and small smirk, "I don't remember you using a silencing potion on any of us my first year, and I don't recall ever needing a blood clotting potion any time I left."

Severus felt a strange sort of relief flood his stomach, "Yes, well… there was always a bit of wishful thinking on my part." he said slowly.

Potter chuckled again and Severus felt something akin to satisfaction fill his chest, "You know Professor, you're secretly funny."

Severus didn't know what to say to that so he retorted with a sarcastic remark as that was his safe zone, "It's easier to jest then to act on such impulses, too much paper work." and that was the truth but Potter laughed anyway, a slightly louder more genuine laugh.

Turning his head away he allowed his hair, his best feature he thought and perfect for hiding his discomfort, to fall over the side of his face.

"I could actually use some help with…" Potter stopped quick and it was his turn to look away, choosing to stare at his nearly empty plate instead and closing his mouth tight.

"I will assist you if you need it, though, all of the answers to your questions most assuredly lay on page two hundred and fifty six."

Harry nodded slowly as he went to pick up a piece of fruit, as he lifted it he seemed to hesitate, his mind suddenly far gone and Severus felt a small amount of irritation rise at the boy's lack of attention span, "Potter-" the boy jumped, his fingers pinching and the fruit was catapulted forward directly into Severus's forehead.

The two sat there in silence, a tense tight little ball of frozen shock, Potter's mouth hanging open and Severus's eyes narrow and his jaw set.

He counted backwards from five, quelling the verbal abuse sure to spout from his mouth if he didn't, he pinched the bridge of his nose and looked away as he gritted his teeth, "When you've finished go grab your studies and bring them down, I will assist you, however futile it may seem."

The boy nodded quickly and stood up, taking his plate to the sink, rinsing, washing and setting it try dry in record time before he scurried out the door and disappeared.

Dark eyes glared after him for only a moment, for as they glanced down to the piece of abandoned fruit on the table Severus felt a small smile tug at the corner of his lips, one he very quickly squashed.

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Harry stared at his workbook on his desk, the foot and a half of parchment laying there waiting to be edited, and the multiple questions he had written down in order to find the answers to so he could incorporate them into his essay. That lunch had been brutal, but not at all bad. It had been awkward and quiet but Snape had been relatively decent and had not exploded on Harry for accidentally launching a piece of melon at his head.

It didn't surprise Harry to see how much effort the man put into keeping his frustration and anger under control, especially given how quick he was to anger at school.

Harry hadn't even dealt with his feelings or thoughts from earlier in the morning, the two of them in the man's bedroom was strange enough without the added fact he had been in his underwear. Letting the man see him like that, totally exposed and vulnerable, while they counted tally on his scars. Telling someone for the first time in his life how each and every one of them had occurred, knowing that the person believe him, even if he was reluctant to do so.

The moment where Snape had been before the window, haloed in light like some dark angel come to take his misery away, touching his aching scar only to have the pain ebb away as if Snape's touch was magic.

It made Harry's stomach roll and he felt more anxious than before. And Snape was being nice...ish, trying to anyway, and they had just had a regular conversation, Harry had laughed at the man's words as if it was the easiest thing to simply go from mortal enemies to basic acquaintances.

Now, the man had offered assistance with his potions homework, regardless if the man had made a deal with Harry to look over his work he had not originally offered to help him finish, only correct his work when done. It was surreal and for a moment, just a second at that table he had felt like he was happy. Something he had been desperately craving since the incident in the ministry.

He shook himself out of those thoughts, as that was a particularly nasty place that always led him towards self-pity and depression. He needed to ignore it, force it to go away. He didn't want to think about what had happened, about who he had lost….

Sirius.

And just like that Harry was on the floor, leaning his back against the bed with elbows resting on his knees. His head hung down as he stared at the floor and a single tear fell from his eye to soak into the dried up old wood beneath him.

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Severus stood at the kitchen window, looking through the lace curtain to the ugly world beyond. He had never taken the time to clean the windows as he had never had a desire to see the filth outside. Inside his home was just the way he wanted it, save for a few changes to accommodate the boy.

Potter's room had been his potions lab prior to this week, his liquor cabinet had been replaced by his mother's old record player and the single large shower stall had been given a tub instead of two shower heads. Severus was currently waiting for the boy to come down with his work and he was getting rather impatient, the rudeness aside he did have other things to do today.

In this moment as Severus stared out through a small circle of clean window, no doubt put there by the boy and his righteous anxiety, he realized this change was unacceptable. He would now have to wait several years for the dust and dirt to build back up enough to truly spare him the memories and ache of looking out into this truly depressive neighborhood.

He wouldn't stand for such incidental or rude behavior and for some reason this small unimportant thing seemed to have a devastating effect on his self control. The positive lunch that had just occurred twenty minutes earlier be damned, this breach of his bubble was unacceptable.

He turned on his heel, marched through the house and stalked up the stairs. Upon reaching the boy's room he pounded on the door and waited for a reply. Several seconds of silence passed before he tried the handle and the door gave quickly.

Severus strode in with purpose, with anger in his chest and indignation across his face but stopped short at the sight of the boy curled up on his bed, eyes staring blankly at the wall across from him, face completely blank and eyes unmoving.

Potter looked to be in a trance but Severus saw the nearly imperceptible tensing in the boy's shoulder, saw the pupils grow minutely and so he came to stand before the bed and looked down on the brat with crossed arms and a scowl, "Mr. Potter, to what do we owe the honor of this small pity party I've so unceremoniously walked in on?"

Those thin lips said nothing as he continued to stare, a small sigh escaping his mouth, "Don't you dare disrespect me, not in my house. Now, tell me what's wrong or I will find out myself."

Harry seemed to come back around then, his body slowly sitting up in some faux impersonation of possession as his head tilted down to face the floor.

"Just… can't seem to keep it together." He said softly and Severus found, once again, he did not have a proper response.

Snape's eyes slowly glanced around the room looking for any clue as to what could have caused the boy to so suddenly fall into this pit of depressive lethargy but could find nothing. His school work was scattered across his desk, books open and ink pot ready. His owl was roosting quietly in her cage, his dirty clothes were in a small pile in the corner and the rest of the room was clean but bare.

He didn't have the knowledge or desire to be a caring thoughtful individual, yet this was a moment given to him on a silver platter to draw the boy closer, to make him see Severus as someone to hold onto, so although he didn't have a single sense on how to care he did have the very strong ability to use logic, and suddenly he had an idea.

Moving to the chair he grabbed it painfully tight by the top of the wooden backrest and swung it around, he straddled it and laid his arms across the top just as he had done so many years before to this very same boy, "Talk." Severus said.

Harry seemed confused a moment, totally struck, "What?" he asked breathlessly as he looked up at the man sitting before him.

"You heard me Potter, while I don't care for the sentimental drivel of others and find I have little natural talent for empathy and understanding, I can help… so talk to me about what is bothering you or I shall leave you to your weepy and rather pathetic display of reticence.

Harry sighed and looked away, "You don't want to hear it."

"That IS what I just said, however, that does not mean you don't need to tell me, so talk now, challenge me into finding you a solution and I promise you won't regret it."

Harry gave him a long look, green eyes darting about the older man's posture and face before he slumped forward putting his head in his hands and crunching his eyes shut, "I can't- I can't get passed what's happened. I've tried, really hard… but the more I try to push away my thoughts and feelings, try to control my emotions… The more they spiral out of control. I'm so angry all the time, and if I'm not angry my chest aches so bad I can barely breath. I want to cry and scream but there isn't a point, it won't bring him back, it won't bring Siri- and I hate myself for doing what I did. For getting him killed, for KILLING him. Everyone tried to tell me to leave well enough alone but I just couldn't… because no one would tell me anything! My life has always been at the hands of others, telling me what to do, how to act and behave, when to be quiet and sit still or when to shut up and just accept whatever is going on! If they had just TOLD ME THE TRUTH!" Harry screamed the last part as he shot up from his bed.

"Why couldn't they just tell me, I've been near death enough times to know that I'd rather know then not know and acting like I am some CHILD, after everything I have been through and seen is just plain gullibility. I'm not a child, I don't think I ever was and I don't ever want to be kept in the dark again, not when I know it will always make a difference. You can't make an informed decision unless you know everything that is available, balance of probability dictates that no matter what, you never have full control, but I'm not asking for full control… I just don't want to be treated like a god damned puppet. And I want to undo what I've done, I want to stop myself from being such a total and utter lunatic all the time and thinking I can help people… I can't even help myself-"

He seemed to phase out for a moment, staring at the fireplace that was black and empty of life, his back rising and falling as he gulped down air. Severus waited, for surely there was more, "I just don't want to be alone anymore… I want to be able to let my friend's in instead of always pushing them away to keep them safe, I want to think about MYSELF for a change instead of thinking of everyone else. I just want… to be… normal."

And Harry slumped to the ground again, his back smacking against the brick of the fireplace, his knees rising up and his arms falling limply at his side's before his head lulled back and he closed his eyes.

"Mr. Nobody." He murmured so softly Severus almost couldn't hear it, but he did and so he studied the boy for several minutes, the silence resounding thick in the small space before Severus finally knew what to say and how to logically solve Potter's problem.

"You don't offer a very hard problem but I shall give you my solution regardless," those green eyes slowly opened to stare at him but he made no move to dispel Severus's offer so the man continued, "First off, normal is overrated, it always has been and always will be so if I were you I'd revel in the fact that your life is exciting if not entirely doomed to cause you continued suffering. Second, if you wish to put your own well being before others you simply need to do it and stop sniveling about how unfair it is that you put others well-being in front of your own, it's your choice Potter. If you can't stop, which I've been told by several is not within your character to do so, then you might as well do it right andmake sure those closest to you are happy, in return hold them to the same standard. I've never put faith in others, I watch my own hide, but at the cost of sounding like an optimist if you are going to make them happy you better make sure they return the bloody favor. Third, I am more than happy to inform you that you are a child, both mentally and physically, until your body stops developing and your hormones have leveled out you will always feel crazy, hyper-active, anxious and out of place, this little depressive temper tantrum is the perfect example. So it seems logical that if those around you think of you as young it is because you are despite anything that has happened previously in your life, so take advantage of it. Real adults, those who have fully matured, do not have the luxury of the constant concern and the parental guidance of those around them to aid them in their day to day lives. For the time being you do, a rather large group of teachers, order members, Mr. Weasley's parents, your elder friends and the Headmaster, don't disrespect their concern or care for you by belittling it like some irritating fly. Lastly, in response to your overwhelming emotional baggage, you are an exceedingly emotional boy, a true Gryffindor wearing your heart on your sleeves like it's something to be proud of. Controlling your emotions and pushing down your feelings is not something you can do, so, don't bother to try. Embrace them, all of them, the good, bad and ugly. Logic dictates that when you can't beat someone, you should join them… It furthers your chance of survival and increases your ability to adapt, the same goes for your emotions… treat them as a blessing and not a burden and instead of drowning you will find you can swim."

Harry stared at him, the look of shock on his face priceless, "All that being said, you might as well learn now to simply accept death for what it is. The end of something. You may think your friends are fighting for you, but they are actually fighting for their own future as well, you better start realizing that regardless of what you do, during this war, against the Dark Lord people are going to die, whether by the direct hand of God or some dark wizard with a power complex, so brace yourself Potter, because dying…. That's just what people do."

Severus stood then, put the chair back by the desk and headed for the door, as he went to exit the brat called to him and asked the most unnerving question Severus had ever been asked, "Are you one of them too?"

"One of what?" Severus groaned out as he looked back at the boy, "That guiding hand that I'm so lucky to have."

They stared each other down and then Severus sneered, "I highly doubt the Headmaster's golden boy would consider me among his friends, however, I shall always live to serve, as I too have never gotten to live for myself."

Severus slammed the door shut behind him and came to stop at the top of the steps, his eyes lingering on the door with the utterly devastated boy curled up just beyond, a muffled word came from the otherside,"Fuck!"

And in that moment Severus knew he had won.

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It was late when the boy came down, well past ten. Severus was reading a book and sipping on his brandy, not bothering to look towards the creaking stairs or squeaking door.

Potter poked his head around the door and then shuffled into the room with his bag on his shoulder. He stood next to the couch looking at the man who had yet to raise his eyes, "Are you hungry?" Severus asked.

"Yes, sir." The young teen answered softly, "Go eat, foods on the table."

Harry went to walk by but Severus stopped him, "Leave the bag, we will work on your potions assignment when your done."

Harry went back to the couch, dropped his bag and then disappeared into the kitchen, Severus never once looking up.

A/n: Sorry this one is a little shorter but the next chapter is coming so keep an eye out. R&R please, I do love feed back.