A/N: Thank you for the wonderful reviews! And thank you for taking the time to read and let me know what you thought! Chapter four is long, which is why it took me so long to post. Please Enjoy.
CHAPTER WARNING: SOME SCENES OF A MXM NATURE ABOUT HALFWAY DOWN, UNREQUITED, SORT OF…. AS HARRY HAS YET TO TRULY DEVELOP REAL FEELINGS! NO LEMON JUST KISSING AND VERY LIGHT PETTING. Keep Calm and SNARRY on!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, this is a non-profit work of fan art and receives no royalties or benefits, all rights belong to J.k. Rowling… I just like playing in her world and crossing relationship boundaries…. Mwhahahah!
ONE MORE NOTE, PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT BE OFFENDED BY MY POOR ATTEMPT AT WRITING JIM'S ACCENT, I'M STILL LEARNING THE PROPER WAY AND HAVE NOT EVER REALLY TRIED TO DO THIS BEFORE. I MEAN ABSOLUTLY NO OFFENSE AND WOULD REALLY LIKE HELP SO IF YOU CAN HELP BY CORRECTING MISTAKES OR OFFERING ADVICE I WOULD BE VERY GRATEFUL! SUBMIT THEM WITH YOUR REVIEWS!
AND FOR THOSE WHO MAYBE WORRIED AFTER READING THIS CHAPTER, JOHNNY'S CHARACTER, WHILE AWESOME, IS ONLY A MEANS TO AN END FOR HARRY'S DEVELOPMENT. HE IS NOT A MAIN LOVE INTEREST.
Chapter Four
Nightmares and Daydreams
Day three of his two and a half months at Snape's started out with Harry waking up groggy, disoriented and slightly uneasy. He had woke up late because he had stayed up with Snape to work on his end of term assignment. As he hadn't come down until well after ten it had been near two by the time he had completely finished and went upstairs, tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep as the sequence of events that had occurred last night had kept his mind running.
At first Harry had started on the couch but after a brief ink pot spill, which led to twenty seconds of Snape pinching the bridge of his nose and obviously counting backwards, the man had been good enough to transfigure the couch into a small desk and chair. The professor had been patient if not entirely irritable, trying to keep his tongue from snapping every time Harry would ask questions.
The man simply stood in various spots around the room waiting for Harry to ask him, Snape's arms lazily crossed, the fingertips of his right hand gripping the square rim of the crystal glass. Whenever Harry would have his head down writing the man would take a small sip, then return to his pose, he strolled lazily about the room, glancing at his books or straightening something almost absentmindedly with his fingers.
At one point Harry asked the man where the information on Lilac root was and Snape simply grunted and pointed at his book, Harry smirked, rolled his eyes and clarified, knowing the man was just being smart about it for whatever reason.
When he asked which page the man snapped at him to use the index and Harry had complained saying it wasn't in the index, to which Snape simply replied, "Radix Lilac, the plant's Latin name, silly boy."
It had continued on this way for two hours until he had finished, at which point Snape had come over to check his work, the man had leaned over him, hands resting behind his back.
Snape was silent as his eyes scanned but Harry could feel the man's heat, his tall presence leaning over behind him. Harry's hand writing was average in legibility but he had written smaller near the end as he had been running out of room. This in turn had caused Snape to lean in closer bringing his head down next to Harry's, one of his hands coming to rest very close to his own while the other strayed to the back of the chair.
A shiver ran up his spin at the man's proximity but neither said a word and when Snape finished he picked up the paper and moved away, leaving Harry to feel woefully confused and slightly anxious. The man slowly walked about the room as he re-read it again, gracefully picking up his glass of brandy along the way.
At one point he had stopped to lean against a section of bookcase, one arm crossing under other and tucking the brandy back, his left foot raising to prop against the lower section of books.
His posture was entirely relaxed, his face at ease and dark eyes flying over the words, he sipped from his glass halfway down the page before he tucked his arm under the other again and Harry couldn't for the life of him stop staring.
It was a strange moment to see the man so relaxed, so… un-stiff and open and in those moments of silence while the man was absorbed in Harry's paper he felt something stir in his lower stomach. His face bent down, eyes anxiously studying the desk, hands in his lap folded but twisting with nerves.
"Impressively astute Mr. Potter." The man said looking up from the page, his eyes finding their way over to Harry who felt the blood drain from his face, "I'd expect something like this from Miss. Granger, but certainly not from you."
Harry didn't really know what to say so he simply said thank you, "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."
Snape slowly approached the table, setting his brandy aside and the page before Harry, he leaned in, his palms resting flat on the desk as his narrow eyes scanned the boy before him, "Congratulations, you've raised the bar, if I don't receive papers like this from you during the rest of your school year you'll find my leniency to be rather unforgiving. I don't like to waste potential, even if it is from one such as yourself."
He gave a small snarky smirk and Harry could only nod, for in this moment Snape had just given him two compliments, as backhanded and dickish as they were the compliments made Harry feel a certain amount of pride and so he accepted such a rare moment with no complaint.
The darkly clad man before him seemed to notice the boy's lackluster rebellion at such a notion and his small smirk faded into something a little more serious, "You've given me a puzzle to solve though, haven't you."
"Sir?" Harry asked in a hazy state as he continued to study the man's eyes and face.
"I've begun to wonder why all your work isn't so clever and clear cut, normally it's average at best, so why in this moment could it suddenly seem so much more adept towards a study you've never shown any true talent or interest in?"
Harry studied the man's back not sure if he was actually expected to answer, it wasn't until Snape turned around to glare at him that the boy spoke up, "Usually during the school year I've no time to work… I have too much to worry about and a big class load. Right now there's no one around to bother me… I can focus."
Snape seemed to think about this a moment, his eyes moving from the boy to the floor before his face seemed to scrunch a little and then disappear behind his hair, "So, am I correct to assume if you had a few hours to yourself everyday the chances of you repeating this type of work in all your classes might increase."
Harry thought about it, momentarily distracted by the shine of the man's hair and how well it hid Snape's face, a trait he had never noticed the man having until now, "Yes, sir. Between, classes, Quidditch and friends a few hours every night allocated to my work would be very useful but the time I have in my dorm is often loud and I have to stay up late to get any real quiet-"
"So, two hours… every night… right after supper….with a stress free environment you would in fact perform better?"
Harry didn't understand why the man was trying to beat the question to death, what type of clarification he was looking for, still the brunette simply sighed and offered with a small chuckle, "Wouldn't every student?"
More silence and then Snape glanced up at him from behind his hair, Harry froze at the expression just barely managing to seep through the often firmly planted mask the man wore over his features. Perhaps Snape was unaware that from this angle Harry could see his face but in those dark black orbs were a very faint trace of insecurity and fear, a mixed expression that took years off his face and gave such a human look to him Harry felt his eyes grow wide, "I will make to you then, a small offering, when school resumes, upon finishing dinner in the evenings, if you wish to come down to my classroom and take a few hours to study and do homework in peace I shall make it available to you."
The offer wasn't what shocked or surprised him, it was the fact that Severus Snape had just offered him special treatment, something this very man often firmly believed Harry received far too much of, something he often stormed and raged about at school.
Harry wasn't one to throw away such a gift but he couldn't believe there wasn't a hidden motive, so rather than do guess work he simply asked, "What's the catch?" his tone was soft, no hints of sarcasm or suspicion, a simple question to a simple offer, "No catch, other than you wouldn't be allowed to tell anyone, not even your friends. If I hadn't seen the change in your work myself I wouldn't believe it, but seeing as this doesn't even read as a paper you would write… it stands to reason for your own benefit you need extra hours to study and work on principle."
Harry nodded slowly as he nervously took up his quill and doodled on the edge of a spare bit of parchment, his eyes watching a never ending swirl as his wrist moved slowly, "If it's a secret, what would I tell my friends?"
Snape seemed to think on this a moment, "Detention. As I do doubt you will in fact be down every night, it stands to reason it will be random enough to not rouse suspicion."
"Why does it need to be a secret anyway?" Snape's entire body stiffened a little and Harry saw the normally narrow eyes grow a little before his head turned sharply away and Harry saw the man's fists clench.
Harry gulped down his anxiety and went to assure the man it could most definitely be a secret and he wouldn't tell a soul when the man spun quick and slammed his hands down on the desk, "Just take the offer or leave it, don't play twenty questions with me and don't take my kindness for granted, yes or no?"
Harry instantly nodded, "Yes, Sir! Thank you, sir!"
Snape gave a single succinct nod before he pulled away harshly, "It's late, go to bed."
Harry didn't have to be told twice and rushed upstairs quickly. Now, after all that and a rather disturbing set of dreams last night Harry sat in his bed trying to clear his mind. The man must be playing with him, must be being nice to try and keep him under control. It was making Harry angry, making him uncomfortable.
Harry and Snape had always been enemies and Harry just couldn't wrap his mind around it turning into something else.
There he went again, assuming Snape wanted to change the dynamic of their relationship, a relationship they hadn't had to begin with. This entire situation was so messed up, and the dream he had last night….
Harry had been dangling from the edge of a precipice, a dark bottomless hole below and rising, jutting burnt mountains all around him. The wind was deafening and the icy air bit at his skin and then he was falling and Voldemort was below in the dark cackling like a jackal. Then a hand, from out of thin air held his wrist and he looked up, away from the dark hole and haloed in light was Snape. He was screaming something but Harry couldn't hear, but it didn't matter because the man was pulling him up and away from the darkness, from death and blood and carnage and then Harry was in his arms and the man was hugging him tight and rocking him, on his knees and Harry was SURE it was Sirius. He was confident that he had simply thought he saw Snape but that his godfather had saved him, the murmurs of love and fear for his safety sounded like Sirius, but when Harry pulled away it was Snape, tears falling down his face, a palm coming to caress his cheek and up into his hair where it gripped gently and brought his face closer….
Harry had woken up in a sweat, his privates aching and his mind utterly disoriented. After spending a light and mildly shocking night with the man in the sitting room, it wasn't a surprise to have a dream about Snape, but the contents of the dream unsettled him and Harry knew he needed a shower before he went downstairs.
He could write this off as a strange event, it wouldn't even bother him to go down and continue on with this strange summer sojourn into a very awkward territory of truce with the man. But Harry knew if he had more dreams like this he would begin to have problems…. A lot of problems… so all he could do was hope that the dream he had just had was the last.
PAGEBREAK
Severus was roused from his sleep by a whisper. He nuzzled down more firmly into his bedding, pulling the pillows down into his warm cave like creation.
"Severus! Severus, do be a good lad and wake up won't you. I fear I don't have much time at all."
"Away with you old man… I've just fallen asleep…"
"Oh my, it's nearing noon… you never sleep this late, what has keep you from your habits my boy?"
"You dare ask me such a question when the brat is only two doors down, it's obvious and your questions are redundant and patronistic."
Severus heard a chuckle and he burrowed deeper, "Damn sadist." He murmured.
"Severus, my dear boy, I really need to speak with you. I was hoping for an update regarding Harry's progress."
Severus let out a heavy sigh before he wiggled to the edge of the bed and peeked out from his cover cave, his eyes locking onto the face of Albus Dumbledore in his small fire place.
"Since his arrival three days ago our existence together has been amicable if not tense, he is polite, clean and does as he is told with little to no back sass and has only suffered minor irritability."
"That's wonderful news, how is the other half of our mission going." Severus instantly regretted giving in to this man's urging and slunk a little further over the edge of the bed, "As I predicted it would. Slow and tedious. Ive managed to keep my sharp tongue subdued and my thoughts to myself in regards to his often inept thoughts…. But he is obviously troubled by the entire situation and suffers some form of post traumatic stress as he has dreams…. I hear him all night long and into the morning tossing and turning like a fish out of water. I've taken to taking sleeping draught to make sure I am able to stay asleep, which means you have five minutes before I'm out cold again."
"I understand, perhaps you could offer him a dreamless sleep potion my dear boy, surely the aid would be appreciated and further our goal…"
Severus sneered and retracted back onto his bed, "First off Headmaster, this goal is not our own, it is the Dark Lord's, pray remember that I am not now nor have I ever been on board with this fiasco, second…." Severus wanted to bite at the man, truly tell him off, but knew he couldn't and even if he could there was no point, so he gave a tired sigh and said in defeat, "I plan to offer him one the next time he has a nightmare, no doubt the offer of salvation will be greatly appreciated if it comes at the right moment."
"Indeed it shall. And make no mistakes on the matter, I have not forgotten whose idea this was, but I can't help press upon you something that might turn out for the best…"
Severus gave a shocked grunt as he sat up stiffly in bed, "Turn out for the-" but Dumbledore's face was gone and Severus felt cheated out of answers. He hadn't even gotten to ask Dumbledore's opinion on why the boy seemed so distant. Or how he was supposed to progress from here as everything was coming to a stand still and it was only day three.
Now he was left to get up and not only face the day but face the boy blunder himself. Severus eyed his bed and then the door, his hand running up his bare chest to message an aching shoulder muscle before he gave one last glance to the door and violently jerked down towards his bed, curling up into a ball under his mountain of pillows and blankets, "One more hour."
PAGEBREAK
Harry looked at the small clock on the wall in the sitting room, it was nearing one o'clock and there was still no sign of Snape. Harry had been up at ten due to his dream and had showered and rushed down stairs only to find the man nowhere to be found.
Deciding Snape must have gone out Harry made some breakfast and coffee and then sat in the sitting room reading the news and sipping on his warm drink. The dream had faded from his mind, nothing but a small hiccup in his subconscious and readily pressed aside. It wasn't until he heard an alarm clock from upstairs and then a grunt and bang that he realized Snape was still in the house, he was just in his room.
For reasons unknown to him Harry felt compelled to investigate and soon enough found himself traversing the stairs, he had learned while secretly watching Snape and observing the ruts in the wood the correct path to travel in order to create little to no noise.
Once at the top Harry turned and slowly approached Snape's bedroom door, it was cracked just enough for Harry to see a small metal alarm clock had been shattered against the bedroom wall near the door, a shard of glass sitting precariously between the crack of the door and the door jam.
The room was dim as the curtains had been drawn and Harry heard aggravated murmurs coming from the darkness. He didn't know what made him do it, but he gently pushed the door open wider and poked his head in, the small fire place cast a dim glow into the room of soft amber and orange, just enough to see a small pile of blankets and pillows on the bed shifting uneasily.
"No… no don't kill me." and suddenly Harry's curiosity truly won out, not even thinking of the consequences he opened the door further and entered. He treaded softly to the side of the bed and peeked over the pile of fabric and pillows only to be greeted by a bare chested Snape jerking around weakly in the bed.
"Please, spare her… hide them...all of them... I beg of you… Don't let him kill her...please." his cries were soft, sleep infested and groggy. Harry moved closer and realized that his good intentions to wake his professor up from this bad dream had turned into his eyes scanning over the sad features etched across the man's sleeping face, then down to his bare chest and tense stomach.
Something akin to heat resonated in his belly as Harry watched the man's body tense and relax several times before Snape's hands fisted the bed sheets and he jerked violently to the side, "Where is she Albus, where is…. My… lil… lil- no God no please let her live." He near cried out and Harry suddenly realized the line he had crossed and that even if his intentions had been good the instant Snape caught him here his life would be over. He would be dead and buried in some empty field or chained in the man's dungeon by his thumbs or toes.
As he made to leave he turned into the canopy fabric and the shock of it hitting his face made him stumble back, he fell onto the bed and before he could move felt an arm scoop him up and pull him close, "Please, don't go… my flower…."
Harry nearly cried out in utter agony, this had just become the most traumatic and utterly dangerous moment in his life. Snape was in the middle of some horrible dream, some nightmare of loss and tragedy while Harry had gotten himself trapped. He was in a situation, laying in his potion professors bed, with the half naked professor still in it, unable to move and being mistaken through his professor's dream filled eyes for the poor mystery woman who had obviously been killed.
"Please don't leave me, I love you-" Snape said and Harry's eyes bulged as he felt the man's hand cup his cheek, the image he was facing, the sound of the man's voice resembled nothing of the mighty and dreaded potions professor of Hogwarts. Instead, this moment did nothing but recall to his mind the dream Harry had woken from only hours earlier. It was so similar, so close that Harry panicked and tried to sit up, "Don't! Please don't, I love you-" and then Snape's hands gripped his wrists, pulled Harry close and Snape leaned in.
When Snape's lips pressed over his Harry opened his mouth to yell but it was muffled and his mouth consumed and filled with Snape's tongue. Harry thought his brain might short circuit, the man gave a humming noise and deepened the kiss still. Harry tried to squirm and extract himself from the entangled mess he had found himself in but the man was bigger, stronger and was unaware he was molesting the mouth of his student and not the mystery woman.
When Snape pulled away he lingered close, his lips grazing Harry's and the boy felt his pants grow tight, much to his own humiliation and utter fear, "Kiss me, please kiss me-" Snape's words were smeared together, the evidence of his unconscious state. Harry had never seen such a lucid dreamer in his life, and he shared a dorm with Ron who talked more in his sleep than he did while awake.
Harry did not know why he had climbed the stairs, why he had entered this room or found himself in this situation, but he did know why he did what he did next. Snape was a logical man, reason suggested if he gave Snape what he wanted the man may let Harry go.
So despite the tightness of his jeans, the dread in the pit of his stomach and the fear alight in his veins he raised a hand to the man's cheek, Snape nuzzled into it near desperately, and Harry leaned in. He kissed him gently, trying to give Snape what his dream was telling him he wanted but let out a fearful hum when the man reciprocated and his tongue forced it's way into his mouth.
Harry tried to keep up, to go with the flow and meet the man kiss for kiss but Snape was apparently far more involved with this dream woman than Harry had ever been with anyone else, even his kiss with Cho last year had not been like this. Harry's hands moved to the man's shoulder and as his fingers gently moved across the skin he felt something that made him freeze.
It was a familiar feeling, something he had felt before on his own body. It couldn't be mistaken for anything else. Harry felt scars. In the dim light of the room with Snape on his back he had not seen them, but now as his fingers explored he realized that Snape's shoulders and back were littered with them. Long thin ones, one that reminded him of similar ones on his own back and arms, ones only received from that of a belt and buckle.
His efforts to extract himself from under his professor were redoubled and as the man seemed to end the kiss he gave a hum and inquired again, his lips caressing Harry's as he whispered softly, "Thank you my flower."
He laid down then, one arm resting across Harry's belly and the other under the boys neck. Harry lay there, still as stone, eyes wide and unblinking as he stared at the canopy top and took in the shadows and dim fire light. Questions burned through his mind, the feeling of the scars searing into his brain and the idea of some mysterious woman that Snape had once loved so desperately….that was now dead….Snape had been asking someone to hide her…. Hide her and others….from what or who? Harry only had one guess.
He couldn't stay here though, the ach in his groin and the fear in his gut wouldn't let him so he tried, once again, to remove himself and this time he was successful. He creeped to the door and then was out of it in a flash, leaving it as it had been before he went into the bathroom and shut the door.
Leaning into the sink Harry closed his eyes tightly and rocked forward a little trying to get his lower regions to calm down, as they continued to ach images of Snape's hands holding his wrists, the man's mouth kissing him started to flood before his mind's eye and as Harry finally looked up at his reflection in the bathroom mirror his brow shot up.
His lips were swollen, cheeks flushed and pupils dilated, it was official, Harry now had a very serious problem.
PAGEBREAK
Severus opened his eyes and realized it was late in the day, very late. He rolled out of bed and trudged over to his wardrobe, he grabbed his clothes and walked towards the hall. Images of his dreams flooding his mind, soft pink lips, glowing green eyes and hands caressing his shoulders, touching his marks and seemingly having no fear of them.
Lily, God Lily why….
Snape glanced out the crack in his door and saw the hall empty so he made his way to the bathroom and entered.
He hadn't felt this rested in a long time, his sleeping drafts always did that for him, though they also gave him such a lethargic morning and made him sleep much longer than he normally would, late night aside. The side effects included, for him anyway, intense and seemingly realistic dreams. He had yet to start working on a mix of his sleep draft with the dreamless sleep potion, something he might only use on himself depending on the side effects. Snape had wanted to work on it this summer but the Dark Lord had had other plans.
Looking at the tiny clock hidden on the back of one of the shelves he realized it was one fifteen in the afternoon, if Potter wasn't awake his would be shortly. He doubted the boy, with all his anxiety, would be able to sleep long, especially given his pension for nightmares.
When Snape looked in the mirror he noticed something odd, his lips looked a little swollen, nothing serious but enough for him to cock a brow. Perhaps he had bitten his lip while he was sleeping, images of the dream once more flashing before his eyes as he shared the sweetest of kisses with his long gone beloved.
This time it had felt different, as this time Lily actually allowed him to kiss her. Any time he had this dream prior she would always escape his grasp, never getting close enough for him to take hold of her. This time though, he had managed to catch her playfully around the waist, his excitement growing at the realization that she would be his if only for a moment. She had tried to squirm away, giggling and crying out in her contagious laughter, the laugh that he remembered so clear to this day.
She had nearly escaped him, nearly got away but he had grabbed her wrists, pulling her closer and finally, after subduing her squirming and giggling form had managed to capture the ever elusive lips of his childhood friend. So sweet and tender and when he had pulled away he had wanted more, not just to kiss her again, but to receive a kiss from her. He had asked, near begged and this time his subconscious had been kind, had granted him a kiss from the woman who had always been so far out of his reach.
Snape shivered before he shook his head and looked away in shame, his groin was aching and he knew he shouldn't… but… as Severus clenched his teeth he reached a hand down and pulled at the string of his pants.
PAGEBREAK
Harry sat rigid on the couch, trying to read a book but his eyes weren't taking in the words, he felt traumatized but not because he had been assaulted. No, he felt traumatized because in less than five minutes his entire view of himself had changed.
He should have just woken the man up and taken whatever beating had been waiting for him. Instead he had tried to be clever, his logic paying off, but now he was in a suspended animation, unable to focus on anything save for what had just happened only ten minutes earlier.
Harry Potter had just made out with an unconscious Severus Snape, a half naked Severus Snape. Not only was he terrified by the incident and the possibility of Snape finding out, but he was terrified by his own bodies subsequent betrayal and reaction. He could write off the dream as some strange subconscious error, caught in the adrenaline and possibly, if he dived deep enough into denial, a metaphor for his loneliness and the empty hole in his heart where Sirius once was. Dreams were funny that way, one minute you're flying the next you're a tiger and then you're in outer space without oxygen but somehow perfectly fine.
Yes, he could have dismissed his bodies intimate reaction to some perverse dream, but having actually just been put into a position like that, to have his body react like that to a real experience… he now had to question his entire view of his own sexual preference and why someone like Snape was able to arouse him at all.
If he had questions before, like how Snape knew his aunt, why he had been placed here instead of the burrow or why he had yet to receive a letter from Dumbledore, they were now put on hold as insignificant compared to this huge question of his own self.
Either Harry was a very hormonal and indecisive youth, or he had never even questioned his sexuality and had just assumed he liked women.
Harry sighed heavily and slammed the book on his lap shut as he took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes, he didn't want to work on his own self-discovery right now damn it! There were too many other things to deal with, namely Voldemort.
His head slowly turned towards the stairs as he heard the shower upstairs turn on. He swallowed as his eyes then slowly fell back to his book. If Harry knew what was good for him he would put this whole event out of his mind and pretend like it never happened. But if you were to ask anyone who really knew him, they would admit that was a very unlikely possibility.
PAGEBREAK
When Severus came it was to the image of Lily, gently sucking on his neck, her nails digging into his scarred shoulders. He felt ashamed after, leaning forward as his palms were used to balance himself against the old tiled walls of the stall. His head was down, hair creating a perfectly smooth shield as water cascaded over his skull.
He clenched his teeth and eyes shut hard, breathing heavy and feeling the shame swell in his chest. It felt disgusting, soiling Lily's memory in such a way, he had never done it before and would probably never do it again. No, he swore to himself, he would never do it again. But that dream, it had been so real and potent, leaving his skin burning and his groin in such a swollen and painful state.
Severus was not one to indulge in such perverse activities, in fact he had been celibate all his life. He had only ever wanted Lily and when that ship sailed he had never found anyone else. So his needs had been put on hold, never really taking hold or pushing him to achieve an end. He had no interest in street walkers, and had never met anyone to whom he felt any attraction.
The times he had pleasured himself he could count on two hands, and he was thirty-five. It just wasn't an option for him, not with being a spy, a teacher and a bitter angry young man. Not to mention Severus wasn't one to lie to himself, he had no doubt he would be a possessive and jealous lover as he had spent so many years of his life with nothing and no one. The very idea of having someone who loved him would drive him mad if he thought they were unfaithful or had abandoned him for another.
His nature was to control and dominate, to have power and with that came greed. As much as he hated to admit it to himself, he would have destroyed Lily and made her life miserable if she had chosen him. Even if he wanted to tell himself he could change, be nothing like his father and love with a true pure heart that was open and kind…. It was just a false hope and a bitter pathetic lie.
He finished his shower quickly and then dressed at lightning speed, surely Potter was going stir crazy wondering why he was still alone at this hour. Unattended, Snape hated to think what damage the boy could cause if he chose to dig around. He hung up his towel, spelled his hair dry and headed out of the bathroom towards the stairs, trying to put Lily and his miserably filthy thoughts out of his mind.
PAGEBREAK
When he reached the bottom of the stairs he stopped at the sight of Potter reading quietly on the couch. The boy didn't look up or acknowledge him and for that Severus was grateful. He strode passed and went straight for the coffee which he noticed had already been made, one of the few perks of having the brat around was he no longer seemed to have to make his own coffee.
Severus poured himself a mug, then proceeded to sit in his chair and take up the paper. For the next thirty minutes it was a relaxed silence. Though he couldn't help feeling as though the boy kept glancing up at him so he cleared his throat and irritably turned the page, "What have I told you about staring, Mr. potter."
"Sorry, sir." The boy said softly and Severus glanced over his paper to see the boy looking away, his eyes locked onto the window and book unread in his lap.
"Is something on your mind this afternoon, you seem distracted, more so than usual at the very least." Severus offered, figuring he might as well work on building some of those bridges that were apparently so important.
Harry didn't seem to have heard him and Severus sighed as he dropped his paper sharply to his lap, "Potter, wake up!"
The boys head jerked to him and he opened his mouth to respond but was halted when a knock sounded on the door.
Both of them stood instantly, Snape pulling out his wand faster than Harry could probably follow. They locked eyes and Snape brought his finger to his lips and then motioned for the boy to stand next to the stairs. Harry nodded and complied quietly.
Snape approached the door slowly as another knock sounded and he took the handle and opened the door with a quick snap only to be greeted by a motley crew of youths, the foremost holding a football under his arm, "Excuse me sir, can 'Arry come out and play…" the group all laughed at the boy's obvious joke though it was lost on Severus and he sighed, quickly putting his wand away out of their line of sight, "Potter, get over here, now."
He heard Harry shuffle forward and when he saw who was waiting his eyes lit up, and he smiled and waved, "Hello."
"We're gonna play a few then walk the tracks and look for bottles to get some... soda… wanna come on the hunt with us?"
Harry looked to Severus who felt something hot coil in his lower stomach, he ignored it wholeheartedly and rolled his eyes, before motioning with his hand out the door, "Back before-"
"Dark. Yes, sir. Thanks!" and then the brat was gone.
Severus strode back over to his chair, straightened out his paper with much more force than needed and started to read where he had left off. Several minutes later he found his eyes straying over the top of the pages to where the boy had just been reading quietly. Catching himself he cleared his throat, snapped his paper into its rigid form and continued to scan.
When he found himself peeking over the edge again he violently tossed the paper away and stood, taking his coffee and striding to the back door. He opened it, seeing the obscenely small fenced in backyard. He leaned against the door frame and sipped at his mug until he heard a large amount of laughter passing by the back fence.
"So, 'Arry…. Whose tha'' guy your stayin' wit. He's too young ta be your da, to old ta be ya brother and most definitely not a flat mate...I can only assume e's a relative or some'en?" came the voice of the brazen young man who had just knocked on his door ten minutes earlier.
"Oh… uh… he's… he's my… guardian."
"Guardian? What, you an orphan or some shite?" another kid asked.
How tactful... Severus thought as he gave an unimpressed glance at the retreating voices.
"Yeah… but they died when I was little. So I don't really know them… Professor Snape is a... family friend."
"Whoa whoa whoa, that bloke? A Professor? A professor of what?"
Severus heard Harry pause before he gave a confused reply, "Chemistry?"
"No shite… smart one."
"Yeah, very." Harry offered. There voices were getting much fainter now.
"I think he's kinda handsome." came a female voice and Snape found himself rolling his eyes again, "I wouldn't know." Harry replied with a soft chuckle and then their voices were gone.
Severus rubbed his hand down his face and turned to go in, slamming the door behind him.
PAGEBREAK
They had played two short games of football before they had headed to the tracks, the other boys running ahead while Harry stayed back with Stacy.
"So, how'd you come to Spinner's End? I've neva seen you before this summer, but if the professa is ya guardian I'd think you'd come to visit more."
Harry gave a soft smile as he glanced at her, her dark skin and honey brown eyes glowing in the hazy sun, "The truth of the matter is… he's only just started being my guardian. Up until three days ago I was staying with my aunt and uncle over the summers when I wasn't away at school."
Stacy nodded and gave her own soft smile, "Wha' happened?"
Harry didn't want to give too much information, she was a new friend and first impressions were important, but he also didn't want to lie, he he elected to go with a vaugery instead, "Let's just say, they aren't very nice."
"Ah. Yeah, you get a lot of that down here in The End. I live with me mum cause me da drinks. Jimmy sleeps at his olda brothers cause his folks are constantly going at it, and the other three, Johnny, Jessie and Lee usually couch surf throughout the week cause their folks are just plain bonkers."
Harry nodded but didn't respond, "You're among friends Arry, not much of a group but we stick round, it's nice to have something when there's nothing, you know?"
"Definitely." He agreed with a real smile.
"Your smiles nice. You should do it more often."
Harry blushed and went to respond but was cut off by a call from Jim, "Move it along you toss pots, we've got bottles ta find!"
Stacy laughed and Harry gave her a narrow eyed smile, "Race you."
"Yeah, okay."
"Go!" Harry barked and they were off. If the boy with glasses and an unusual scar had known what was about to take place he very well may not have gone.
PAGEBREAK.
Harry wasn't sure how long he had been laying next to the tracks, it was very near dark but he hadn't headed back yet. After they had scoured the area they had come up with enough bottles and cans to get some drinks. Harry had expected soda or some kind of sweet juice, but when Jim went into the small broken down store he came out with a handle of rum.
At first Harry had been weary, he'd never drank before really and had not planned on doing it anytime soon. But all the others had been excited and of course, as teens often do, had encouraged him.
He had tried a sip and found it utterly disgusting but at Stacy and Jim's friendly, non-aggressive jabs he had continued to take sips as the bottle was passed around.
At this point Harry was pretty tipsy, everything seemed funny and his world was spinning like a top. The others were around, sitting or laying on large rocks off to the side.
"Jimmy is a wanker!" Johnny yelled, only to have his voice echo off the surrounding surfaces, "Johnny is a poof!" Jimmy yelled back, "Stacy is crazy!" Lee added, "Lee's a duster!"
"Harry's soft in the head!" Jessie yelled with a smile.
Harry instantly reacted though he didn't know why or even what to say, "Jesse's demented!"
The others continued and Harry sat up to look at Stacy who was sitting near his feet, one knee pulled to her chest while she sucked on the bottle.
"Hey… Stacy…" the girl looked at her with a mischievous smile, "Yes Arry?"
"Am… I… drunk?" his eyes felt heavy and his body felt like it was leaning to the left despite the fact he was stationary, "No Harry, you're knackered." and they both started to laugh incessantly.
Finally, Jimmy seemed to drop down next to them out of nowhere and cocked his head to the side, "Be'ave Stacy, wouldn't want Minnie ta get jealous."
"Minnie?" Harry asked with a small hiccup.
Stacy smiled at him and leaned forward, "Me girlfriend, drives Jimmy mad it does… but he won't let on."
"Does not." The boy slurred as he snatched the bottle away from her and took a chug.
Harry's eyes grew wide and he sat up quickly, making both Stacy and Jim jump in surprise, "You're- you… like girls?" Stacy eyed him slowly and with a nervous expression, "Ya, that a problem?"
"Ah, he's tha jealous one in'net he." Jim teased.
Harry shook his head quick but then regretted it and winced to try and stop the spin, Jim passed him the bottle and Harry took a drink without even thinking, "How'd you know you were…. Ya know."
Stacy smiled at him as if he was the cutest thing on the planet and Jim burst out laughing, "Oh na, 'Arry too? Now Imma be surrounded by poofs. Was hopin' you was more along me, Jessie and Lee's preference."
Harry gave him a questioning look and Jim seemed surprised for the need to clarify, "Johnny is actually a poof, he just ain't scared to admit it, he owns it. Like a real man."
Harry stared between the two and then swallowed, "So how'd you know?"
Stacy's smile faded and she gave him a very understanding look, "I've just always known. Took Johnny awhile though, he didn't even realize until he tried to snog Jimmy."
Jim shivered and spit, "Still got the taste in me mouth too, punched 'im for it but after he made right about it we been chums since. I don't care, me old man would skin me alive if 'e found out I were friends with one though."
Harry looked down in shame and he didn't see Stacy and Jimmy glance at each other.
Jimmy started to nod his head as an idea came to him and he sighed, "Alright, we can help ya. OYE, JOHNNY! COME HERE!"
The tall thin boy walked over and Lee and Jessie followed, all of them joining the three on the ground.
"Yes?" he asked with a smile as he batted his eyes mockingly at Jim, the boy pushed him playful and cursed, "Get out of it you tosser, look Arry's got a problem and he needs you and Stacy's help."
"Sure, what's going?" the boy shrugged as he eyed Harry with interest.
"Arry isn't sure if he likes men or women, figure you could help 'im out. You game Stacy?"
"Yeah, but no one better say word to Minnie." everyone in the group agreed and Harry suddenly felt very confused.
"So Harry, you find Stacy attractive?" Jim asked. Harry looked at her, tall and thin, with dark skin, honey brown eyes, a beautiful smile and a gypsy bandana around her afro. He nodded and blushed before looking away.
"What bout Johnny?"
Harry looked at the boy. He had dark curly hair, icy blue eyes, high cheekbones and a strong nose with pale skin and light pink lips. To Harry's surprise he realized he did and reluctantly nodded his head.
"Blimey, that's rough." Lee said as he looked between them all.
Jimmy sighed, "Alright you two, take him to the rock."
Stacy and Johnny smiled as the rest of the group made teasing mocking noises. Harry was hauled to his feet and led by both via his wrists down the tracks.
After a ways they turned off and ended up in a rather tall alcove of piled stones and brush. Harry was still drunk but he suddenly realized what was about to happen when Stacy looked at him and sighed, "Look, I'm happy to help ya Arry but I do have a girlfriend so no touching okay, just a kiss."
Harry nodded and nervously said, "Yeah, of course." she smiled kindly and closed her eyes, Harry slowly walked forward and looked to see Johnny had lit up a smoke and turned away.
Harry took a breath and leaned in, their lips meeting tentatively before she opened up to him and he proceeded, much to his own chagrin, to kiss her as Snape had kissed him. She suddenly hummed out a pleasant tone and leaned in, returning the gesture suddenly and with fever. Harry felt heat pool in his belly and his pants grew tight while his heart started to hammer in his chest. He might be able to blame the alcohol for such a quick response, but Stacy was a very attractive woman so he simply enjoyed the moment.
After a second Stacy pulled away and stared at him, before her eyes darted down to his pants and then she bit her lip and turned away, "Well, he likes girls for sure… at the very least he likes me." and then Stacy gave him a wink and walked away.
Johnny turned to look at him and smirked as he flicked his burnt out smoke away, "We'll see. Give me five minutes with him." and Harry swallowed.
The boy, who was taller than him was lean and broad in the chest. He held an air of confidence that Harry did not, he walked over and cocked his head to the side, "You dating anyone Harry?"
"No." He offered with a shake of his head, "Good. No guilt then." and before Harry could try and talk the boy out of it Johnny pressed him into the pile of stone and caught his lips quick. Fire erupted in Harry's groin as Johnny's tongue pressed into his mouth, the boy's hands were holding his hips but snuck down to grip his bum and he jerked Harry's groin into his.
The older boy was near overpowering and gently started to rut against Harry as he let out a gentle moan into his mouth before moving his lips away just long enough to speak, "Sorry Harry, I've not got a chance to explore my preference either, you're handsome and shorter than me so I may take a small bit of advantage right now, yeah?"
Harry only nodded before he fisted Johnny's shirt and pulled him back down. This time Harry knew he could blame his uncharacteristic actions on the booze, because his head was swimming and his judgment was obviously impaired.
Johnny, who seemed to delight in the acceptance, moaned and his hand strayed down to cup Harry's groin.
Thus far Harry was drunk and curious enough to keep kissing the boy, but at the contact to his privates he jerked and Johnny chuckled, "Easy Harry, I won't bite… least not there." and his mouth left Harry's and ventured to the boy's neck, Harry's head falling back as his eyes closed and he allowed his hips to jerk against the other boy's despite his embarrassment.
Several seconds later Harry felt his groin twitch and he started to push at Johnny who whined out a desperate and soft protest.
"Please, Harry, I'm lonely, we don't have to stop... the others don't care. Lee shagged a girl back here once while the others played a game of cards. Just let me-"
"I need to stop… I'm about to…" and Johnny froze as he felt Harry's groin twitch again.
"Oh….right… well, what about tonight?" Johnny asked as he ran a hand up Harry's cheek to lace into his hair.
"What?" Harry asked in shock.
"Meet me tonight… we can figure it out together. Please, there is no one else around here like me, and the people here are so ignorant...it's dangerous ya know... and I want to…" he kissed Harry again gently on the lips, and then the throat and then his jaw, "I want to know-"
Harry grabbed the boy by his shoulders and gently pushed him back, "I understand, trust me, but I don't even know for sure if I am… I'm only confused because of a few dreams and… other things. I never even realized I found men attractive until five minutes ago when I actually looked at you and thought about it."
"You almost creamed your pants, I think it's safe to say at the very least you go either way. So who cares, let's just…" Johnny tried to lean forward again but once more Harry halted his progress.
"I don't even really know you, and you just said you were taking advantage of it…." Harry cut him off, as while the offer was tempting he knew he'd never be able to get out of the house.
"Come on, summer fun… please… we don't have to do anything crazy, just let me kiss you… for longer than five minutes. It will be good for both of us, we won't have to figure it out alone…"
"Look-" Harry started as he gently tried to press Johnny back for the third time, the older boy seemed to cling to him though and Harry gave a frustrated grunt as his head lulled back in exasperation. Johnny leaned in and started to lick up the front of his throat and Harry took the boy forcibly by the jaw to raise his eyes up, "I said I understand and I mean it, but it isn't possible for me to get out at night, so-"
"Then skip out with me tomorrow. Meet me at the tracks at one, we will find some place quiet and-" Johnny leaned forward and caught his lips despite Harry's hand gripping his jaw. Johnny's hand came up and locked onto Harry's wrist tugging it away so he had more ease of motion and once again pressed Harry into the rocks behind him. He started to move his hips slowly and Harry groaned softly into his mouth, feeling the heat start to build again and despite his prior protests he kissed the boy back.
After a moment Johnny pulled his lips away but continued to rut against him and Harry knew what would come if the boy didn't stop, "Meet me tomorrow, as soon as Jimmy called me over I knew…"
"What a minute, let me think…." Harry said thickly as the taller boy picked up his pace and Harry gasped, "Meet me or I will make you cum and you'll walk out there embarrassed and sticky."
"Bloody hell, alright! Alright, tomorrow at one… on the tracks."
Johnny smiled and stopped, leaving Harry horny but not sticky and the older boy leaned in near his ear, "Promise." He whispered, "Or I'll just come find you."
Harry gave a small chuckle but shook his head in disbelief, "Promise."
Johnny finally moved away and Harry very quickly straightened his clothes and adjusted his jeans. As he walked by Johnny squeezed his arse and Harry spun and punched him so hard in the chest he boy winced and stumbled back.
As Harry climbed up the side of the easement to the tracks he stumbled but Johnny was quick to catch him and help him the rest of the way, "I mean it, if you don't come I'll just wait outside your house, your guardian won't be to please about it either, I can tell he's strict."
Harry sighed and stopped him again, they were still a ways off from the others though the group paid them no mind, "Look, what do you think is going to happen? I'm not in a position to start some random fling nor a real relationship. I'm confused and not at all certain and can't promise you anything. I can be your friend… anything beyond that… I'm just not mentally able."
Johnny digested Harry's words and swallowed thickly before he looked away and then pulled his pack of smokes from out his back pocket, he still didn't make eye contact as he lit and when he offered one to Harry the boy declined with a shake of his head.
"Maybe… I just want someone to talk to about it… Stacy's great and all...but she isn't… she doesn't … I'm not ashamed, and I don't want to hide it… Jimmy told ya I don't. But to know there is even a chance of someone being able to understand and… help me figure it out… maybe all I need is a friend, Harry. Would you...please...be my… friend?"
Through his tipsy haze Harry looked at the sincerity in the older boy's eyes and realized that even though Johnny knew his sexual preference, he still was curious, confused and scared. Harry couldn't imagine the feeling of knowing for sure and being utterly alone with it, as right now Harry, who could only guess what his body and mind were really trying to tell him, felt terrified but resolute in figuring it out.
He gave the boy a soft smile and rubbed the side of his face and then nodded, "Yeah, alright, tomorrow at one… we will meet at the tracks but let's find a better place than a rock pile yeah?"
Johnny gave a genuine smile back and flicked his butt, "Sure thing."
The two walked off to rejoin the group and upon reaching them Harry took the bottle from Lee and realized it was near gone. "Rest ish yours." Lee slurred and Harry tried to hand it off to Johnny who declined.
"Come on ya boy, drink it up, you're the new guy...you get last shot." Jimmy said with a smirk.
Harry eyed the large bottle and knew for a fact that there was more than just a shot left, still, as the group started to slowly chant the word chug over and over he looked to Johnny who smiled and nodded.
Harry sighed and knew he was going to regret this.
PAGEBREAK
"So what did'ja figure out?" Jimmy asked him as Harry leaned onto him and Johnny for more support, "Bout wha?" Harry asked.
"Your preference, ya great lump."
The other three youths were ahead of them laughing and shoving each other playfully but Harry wasn't sure he knew where he was. There was still light in the sky but it was fading too fast and he worried about getting home, his brain was only able to come up with one word, "Both."
"Yeah? Well you're the first I know, so congratulations." Jimmy said with a fond smile.
"No more booze for Harry, he can't hold it at all." Johnny said with worry.
"Oh, stop ya nagging, he's just a little sleepy, yeah? He'll be fine, besides he ain't your worry righ'?"
Johnny looked away begrudgingly as they continued to help the highly inebriated boy stumble home.
PAGEBREAK
Severus was going over more student papers as he sat in his chair by the fire, he glanced to the window and realized Harry had about ten minutes before he would be considered late. He sighed as he set his papers aside and rubbed at his tired eyes. All day he had had the boy on his mind, for many reason but the main one being how to progress their relationship forward. True, he had time, plenty of it but he was impatient as he wanted to move forward.
Severus knew that just by keeping his temper with the highly emotional youth he was doing well, but he also knew that the faster this false friendship progressed the faster he could be done with it all and figure out the Dark Lord's plan.
He was about to take his position in the center of the room and wait for the boy's late arrival and subsequent excuse when a knock came on the door, leaving Harry to be five minutes early and Snape sighed with relief. His punishment had been rather awful and he had not wanted to take the time to enact it.
He walked to the door and opened it only to find two of the boy's from the earlier group holding Harry up as the boy lazily rolled his head back and forth, "Sorry, Professor, but we didn't realize Harry couldn't hold his… soda. He may need some help gettin' ta bed ta-night." the boxy boy said as he smirked.
"What- you stupid… I…" but Severus simply sighed in the end and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Yes, alright bring the little idiot in."
The boys chuckled as they followed him to the sitting room, glancing around as they dropped Harry onto the couch, Johnny kneeling down before him to help him sit up he murmured to him softly as Severus grabbed Jimmy up by the scruff of his neck and dragged him back towards the door, "Don't give me lip or try to fight me as you'll find I'm not one to be trifled with, now what idiotic thought came into your head that told you giving booze to a sixteen year old boy was a good idea?" Snape hissed.
The youth's eyes narrowed a little before he sighed, "That kid needs ta live a little, he's too high strung considering how nice he is."
"You don't know any better, but that boy also suffers from depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, high anxiety, severe neglect and mild mental instability. None of those can be overcome with booze or becoming an extrovert. He is fine just the way he is and I'd appreciate you not feeding into his insecurities by filling his head with childish nonsense and false highs."
"He's right, I kept a good eye on 'im, maybe doing something different will be good for the little idiot… doesn't seem like you care much anyway."
Severus sneered and quickly shoved the boy into the door harshly, Johnny's head snapping up to watch but otherwise he didn't move, "The child, is my charge, under my protection, I don't need to like him, only keep him safe and away from anyone who dare hurt him. His recovery and safety are my top concern, if I think for even one minute you or your little gang of street rats will put his life in danger or deteriorate the only stable environment he has had in his entire life you are dead wrong and I will see to it you never come near him again. Am I clear?"
The boy nodded reluctantly, Severus released his hold and stiffly moved aside as he turned to look at the other boy who was holding Harry's face in his hands and smiling, Severus felt his chest near explode when the boy leaned in and kissed Harry on the forehead.
Severus jolted forward quickly and yanked the boy away, "Out! Now! If I see you around again I will contact the authorities." and just like that Johnny and Jimmy were out the door with shocked looks on their face and swear words rushing passed their lips.
Severus locked the door and flicked his wand, drawing all the curtains closed tight and then he proceeded to kneel before the swaying boy and took Harry's face up in his hands, "Potter…. Are you-"
"Johnny kissed me…" he slurred out as he gave a rather goofy and unbecoming smile.
Severus sneered and looked away before he pressed a palm to the boy's forehead.
"Wretched youth, I should have hexed him." He murmured bitterly to himself.
Harry instantly took the man's hand from his forehead and held it in his own, pulling it to his chest and shaking his head harshly, "No! He was helping… he kissed me so I could know!"
Severus went to yank his hand away but Harry held on tightly, "What on earth could you possibly gain in knowledge from kissing a bo-" Severus stopped and stared at the boy before him as Harry started to look his hand over like it was something new.
"You mean to say… you're-"
"I like both!" Harry slurred happily as he started to tilt sideways and his eyes clenched closed.
Severus grabbed his shoulder with his free hand and set Harry right again, "Disgusting little-" and Harry instantly jerked up from his seat and tried to shove him away before he lost his balance and tripped over the coffee table, face planting like a fish out of water onto the floor.
Severus jerked around to see the magnificently stupid fall but before he could assist Harry was up and stumbling around, "No is not! You… you're a homophone… you're disgusting for your ignoramus!"
Severus nearly couldn't hide the smirk but he cleared his throat and slowly stood, "I believe you mean homophobe and ignorance, contrary to whatever belief you may have I was referring to that boy and his obvious abuse of your confusion."
"I'm not confused no more." Harry said proudly as he crossed his arms over his chest and tried to look away with a rather awkward dignity.
"How lucky for you." Severus said quizzically.
"Don't judge people based on their preference, so's I like both, who cares it's the new centry."
"Right." Snape said shutting his eyes tightly as he sighed and made to move towards Harry.
"Time for bed, we will deal with your punishment in the morning."
"Punishment, I was on time!" he argued with injustice.
"On time but completely inebriated and your under age." Severus countered.
"I'm always under age." Harry murmured angrily as his red eyes looked at the floor and he wobbled. The two stood in silence a moment before Harry moaned and grabbed his stomach, he twirled around and headed for the sink and Severus felt his shoulders drop in defeat, "Good God, Lily help me."
Harry vomited for a good ten minutes before he finally stopped and slid to the floor in agony, "Stupid liqueur, stupid day, stupid dreams...stupid Harry." He lamented as his hand came up to hit his face.
Severus knelt down and grabbed the boy's wrist and Harry's eyes bulge, "While I enjoy self-deprecation as much as the next manic depressive, you've already pushed my patience to the limit, now will you go to bed or shall I drag you."
Harry kept his eyes closed but nodded and slowly stood on his rubberized legs. Severus reluctantly helped the boy climb the stairs and the man couldn't help but resent how lucky the boy was. If Severus wasn't trying to win him over and gain the boy's trust he would have tanned that pale hide of his and locked him in his room to wallow in misery for such stupid and unthinking behavior.
As it was Severus could not and so he continued to aid the boy and when he got Harry into his room he not so gently removed the boys shoes and shirt and then summed a bucket, "If I were you I'd not miss, as you will be the one to clean it up in the morning." Harry nodded and managed out a thank you before Severus turned to go.
He was halted by a call from the boy who sat up and held out his hand as if to stop him, "Wait!"
"What is it you insufferable- what is it Potter." Snape said through clenched teeth.
"Did you mean it earlier… I mean about not caring that I like both….that you thought it was wrong Johnny was trying to… use me?"
Severus eyed him carefully before he looked away and cursed, this was one of those bonding moments, just his luck the boy was plastered, he might not even remember this come tomorrow. Still, Snape couldn't pass up any opportunity given so he turned himself back around and went to stiffly sit next to Harry on the bed.
"No, I honestly don't care about your sexual preference," the word on his tongue felt intimate yet awkward but he continued on despite it, "and yes, Johnny is a wastrel for offering such help if he was aware at all that you might be confused or uncertain. His help, may have made matters worse for you if he didn't take into account… your current mental state."
Harry nodded stiffly as he looked up to the man's face next to him, Severus saw the boy smile, saw his eyes dilate but he did not think anything of the fact Harry was leaning in. Severus was taken completely off guard as the boy lunged and took hold of his face, plowing his weight, however light he was, into Severus's chest and knocking the man back.
Severus gripped Harry's arms far too tight but the boy had managed to get his arms around Severus's neck. He held on like he was hit with a body bind curse and the older man could do nothing when Harry's tongue forced passed his lips and started to undulate inside his mouth.
Harry was moaning greedily as he started to gently grind his hips against Snape's and the man yelled out into the boy's mouth. Harry must have misinterpreted his cry as he seemed to gain momentum and gave a hum in agreement.
Soft thin lips and an over active tongue continued to melt against his and Severus felt a panic unlike anything he had ever know, save for the night he had lost Lily, his heart felt like it might explode. Finally, in a fit of panic he swung a fist and it collided with the boy's head.
Harry's body went limp, his mouth still pressed against his but in a much less erotic state, quickly Severus shoved the boy off and Harry's body didn't move after.
Suddenly Severus felt a different type of panic set in and he quickly checked the boy for signs of life. When he felt the shallow breaths of air from Harry's nose hit the back of his hand he relaxed only slightly. He quickly moved the boy onto his back and then checked the area he had hit. No sign of broken skin, the skull felt intact and swelling had yet to occur.
He needed to go quickly and be back to check on him, but for now he had a man to see and was he about to get an ear full.
A/N: Hope you liked chapter four. Editing was rough cause I wrote it quick and didn't have time to really get in on it. R&R and I will go start chapter five now.