A/N: I apologize for having to cut the last chapter in half. Because of that, this chapter will be relatively short, but I didn't want you guys to have to wait another week, also sorry for the loose editing, I rushed to post because I know how frustrating it is to wait. So, here we go, enjoy the chappy and let me know what you thought.
WARNING: scenes of a sexual nature between two males, very mild dom/sub, dirty talk etc etc etc.
Chapter Twelve
Family Affair
Part II
He feels the icy chill of the man's hand on his back, hates it but does not dare shrug it off. He has tried to stand twice now, growing angry at his legs and their reluctance to work. Why they feel so rubbery Severus can only put down to the new spell he has just been coerced into trying to learn. Forcing so much magical energy into his legs is a dangerous and stupid thing to do, especially since he had not clue how to direct it.
As he tries to stand for a third time that hand presses against him and he finds himself remaining on his hands and knees, "Rest, you have surpassed my expectations...while I condone no weakness I do reward those who deserve it as there is a difference between physically being unable to stand and simply being unwilling to fight to stand."
"Thank you, my Lord." Severus says as he clenches his eyes closed at the burning pain that is starting to erupt in his feet and spread up into his legs.
"You must forgive me my little games, when I teach you the full spell it will be much easier, but you cannot deny me my small pleasures….I wished to see if you were even capable of such an ability, if in such a moment of duress you would still be able to maintain that ever famous and calm focus of yours. You did well Severus."
Severus does not respond as his insides are raging, though he shouldn't be surprised at all, in fact he should be considered the most unintelligent man on the planet. To think the Dark Lord hadn't been playing with him just now is utterly foolish. Yet he had no choice, if he had not done what the man commanded he would most likely still be suffering through several hours of an unforgivable curse.
"Tell me Severus…" the demon starts as he pulls away and walks back to the edge, his back to the man who is still on the floor, those dark eyes glancing to the demon and dreaming of running up and shoving the man off. It would do him little good now though, Voldemort could bloody well fly.
He schools his thoughts, quells his emotions and focuses on trying to stand, wanting desperately to not be so weak. He doesn't like it, feels helpless, remembers back to a time when he was smaller and unable to defend himself.
"Do you have a place you could deposit the boy for a short time, one that will be able to keep him occupied and out of your way?"
Severus takes a breath, grits his teeth and heaves himself up, his knees nearly buckling again before he growls out angrily, "You will work!" as he looks down.
He feels a chill run up his spine and instantly jerks his face up to see Voldemort looking at him from over his shoulder, a small smirk crawling like spiders across those serpentine lips, "I do my Lord, what task have you for me. I shall complete it promptly." Severus says, more than grateful the Dark Lord realizes Severus is commanding his own legs and not him.
"You shall leave the boy there tomorrow evening, then, you shall come back to me and remain with me until you have mastered this skill."
Severus instantly wants to protest, but he does not, he can do nothing but bow and aqueous to the demons orders. "As you wish my Lord."
And Voldemort approaches again, but this time Severus feels a true fear fill his stomach because this creature before him does something unusual; something so strange and uncharacteristic Severus does not know how to respond. He remains stock still as his body stiffens and Voldemort invades his personal space, cupping Severus's face in both hands and leaning in, "You will be my first student to learn such a spell, secrecy is a must, though I've never doubted your ability to keep them. I have big plans for you Severus…" and the man takes a finger and tucks his hair behind an ear, a trait Harry has taken to doing only recently.
"Do not let me down. You would also do well to learn quickly as Harry is your top priority, the longer it takes you to learn the more time is wasted in progressing towards our end goal. Do you understand me Severus?"
Voldemort's face is almost gentle, his red eyes scanning Severus's features and just barely glancing to his lips and Severus must fight every urge in his entire body not to pull away.
"I understand my Lord. I shall not fail you in this." and his voice is breathy with awe at such an intimate and surreal moment as he continues to study that face and try to discern what the hell is happening in this strange moment.
"You won't will you?" the man whispers out and Severus swallows, "No my Lord, never."
"I should hope not, I would hate to have to kill you as you are slowly becoming my very favorite." and Voldemort smirks and then pulls away, turning his back and slowly walking to the edge again, staring out with narrow eyes.
"You are dismissed." though Severus walks slowly away after he bows he can't help feeling the urge to run.
PAGEBREAK
When Dumbledore emerged from the pensieve Severus looked up from the book he was scanning, the book that had only added to his worry and fears.
"Do you better understand what I was trying to tell you Albus?" Severus asked as he glanced back down to the book and irritably turned a page.
"I do." the man said softly, his old fingers adjusting his glasses and his eyes studying Severus intently. The younger wizard had shown Albus everything save for Draco's task, he wished to tell the man himself, not just share such a thing so casually through a memory. It was a very serious situation and not one he could take lightly. No, he would rather tell the man himself then let Dumbledore hear such a thing through the pensieve.
"The Dark Lord twice during that conversation both said and did things that only Potter has done, though I do not wish to make you uncomfortable nor burden you with more detail than you would wish to have, it was as if, for a moment, I was speaking with Potter...not with voldemort….is it possible….that some of Potter's feelings for me have remained with the Dark Lord….is a reverse transference of emotion possible? I know Voldemort has been able, in the past, to affect Potter's emotions….his anger no doubt the prime example."
Dumbledore seemed to think on this and then nodded slowly, "I had doubts on such an occurrence ever happening, as Tom is very powerful and it would seem to me that he would be able to resist such influences. Especially if he was aware, even the slightest bit, of how this connection works. I have had a feeling of dread these past months since we first made young Harry aware of his shared connection, that if Voldemort were to ever find out, the consequences would be disastrous."
"It is far too late for that." Severus mused with frustration, "I failed in my teachings and my own pride would not allow me to continue after Potter invaded my memories. I….regret my actions now….though I do wonder if Voldemort is even aware Harry's feelings for me...that some of his latent memories... are remaining with him."
"What makes you think he is not?"
"When the Dark Lord referred to me as a Scrag….that was a conversation Potter and I had while he was awake...if the Dark Lord had been purposefully trying to view our conversation through Potter's eyes I've no doubt the boy would have sensed the intrusion. As terrible as he is at Occlumency one does not simply remain unaware of Voldemort inside your head, his very presence is toxic. Potter has been dealing with this type of intrusion far too long not to notice …. Which makes me wonder how Voldemort would have known such a word…" Severus hesitated to say the next part but he did and felt himself nearly flush, "Potter has also only ever touched my hair like that while awake…."
Dumbledore nodded at this and seemed a little surprised if not slightly unnerved, "If what you are saying is true...then this would indicate the bond between them is no longer closing upon Tom's whim...and a small link is remaining open, allowing feelings and memories from both parties to trickle back and forth. It is a very troublesome and problematic misfortune for us as well as for Harry."
"No doubt. How shall I proceed?" Severus asked.
"Has Harry shown any signs of receiving unwanted emotions or memories from Tom?"
"He had a momentary flare of temper right before I was summoned over something that he came to find completely benign. Otherwise, I have not noticed him having any nightmares, stray comments or thoughts, nor emotional shifts that are any different than expected."
"What was this benign something that irritated him?"
Severus hesitated and then sighed, knowing it was something he could not put off discussing, "This book."
Severus stood and brought the large leather bound object over to Dumbledore and placed it open on the desk before him, Severus extracted his wand and waved it over the pages which quickly changed and reflected different words then were there previously, "I had to charm the book once I read it to ease Potter's concerns on the matter, but when I read the actual passages I realized that through some twisted luck we may have come across a partial answer to the Dark Lord's plans."
Dumbledore's eyes scanned over the words and then he leaned closer, placing his hand on the pages, his reading increasing in intensity.
"Unio Autem Contrariorum….oh dear." the man mumbled as his eyes started to blaze like a fire across the pages.
"My thoughts exactly." Severus said as he stood up straight and crossed his arms about his chest, "Where did Harry come by this text?"
"That is the even stranger part, he found out about it from one of his little muggle friends. Apparently the girl's….significant other had a treasure trove of ancient ceremonial spell books….her name is Minnie Sanders...she is a teacher at one of the universities in London. When she gave me the book I was shocked to realize it was not charmed to keep muggle eyes from viewing the pages. In fact, both Minnie and Tracy, Potter's little friend, could read them without issue. The information she shared with Potter about the Union of Opposites put the boy into a tailspin of anxiety and I thought it best to charm the book so it appeared as only an old wizard marriage ceremony. The boy has enough on his mind as it is."
"A wise decision Severus, though Harry may have very well been right to worry. If this is any indication of what Tom has hidden up his sleeves then both you and Harry could be in grave danger."
"What do you suggest?"
"I need more time with the text to know for sure, even I am relatively unfamiliar with this Union of opposites to which the text refers. For now return to young Harry, ease his worries, I shall call you if I find out any new information."
"I must take a few hours to myself before I retrieve Potter. I need to meditate and go through my practices. It is not easy to do so while the boy is there. The last two times the Dark Lord has summoned me I have been lucky he has not tried to invade my mind or read my thoughts. They have been chaotic and unorganized… I have found that after so many years of being alone and keeping such a tight leash on my emotions, having to share them with someone has made my skills in such matters as Occlumency ….more difficult to maintain.
"
Dumbledore gave an understanding nod and then a very soft smile, "I understand but I implore you not see this as a burden. I have often worried about you and your habit of being so isolated and alone. Consider trying to utilise this situation with Harry as a way to strengthen your skills. Learn to shift quickly from expressing your emotions and letting them flow freely to suppressing them and controlling them more readily. I have a feeling if you can master such a feat you will surpass even me in your abilities."
Severus thought on this a moment and then nodded before he turned to leave, "I shall await word from you and shall endeavour to master this new skill from the Dark Lord quickly."
"Severus, do not try to discover any new information while you are in the snake's hole, focus on learning this skill and getting back to Harry. The longer he waits for you I fear the more agitated he may become and it would not do to have him going to look for you."
"Understood." and Severus left through the fire back to his home, completely forgetting to tell Dumbledore about Draco.
PAGEBREAK
Harry did not touch his breakfast as he waited for a sign from Sna- Severus….call him Severus in your head….get used to it...familiarize yourself with it….
Severus had sent him away around nine at night, it was going on eight in the morning and there was still no word. Mr. weasley assured him that if something bad had happened to Severus, the news would be like fire on the wind. They would have heard something by now.
Ron and Hermione had tried to cheer him up, to get him out of of his gloom and worry, but they were unsuccessful. Though, Harry had asked the girl to look into the Union of Opposites, despite Severus's assurances that the entire thing was ancient nonsense and now just used as a modern metaphor for marriage.
To Harry's surprise the girl had never heard of it but upon this realization Hermione had disappeared into her room and had yet to emerge. Though Mrs. Weasley had apparently brought her breakfast and said Hermione was just fine.
He and Ron had played wizards chess, then a game of snap dragon and then flew around the yard and lazily tossed rocks at gnomes. Still, Harry felt near sick with worry and his anger was mounting, he didn't know why, as it was not right for him to be angry at Severus for doing his job….but for some reason he was.
Harry felt a twinge in a neck muscles and his head jerked a little to the side as he tried to work it out, the anger in his chest slowly building as he watched the clock on the wall and felt his foot bobbing up and down anxiously below the table.
Several minutes later Hermione emerged looking tired but mildly satisfied, "Well?" Harry asked impatiently, at one fiery glare from the girl he looked away and took a breath, "Sorry, just impatient." he offered as he rubbed at his neck again and tried to shake off this unwanted aggression.
"I've got good news and bad." the girl said as she sat down and poured herself some tea.
Ron walked in just then from the living room, his eyes locked onto the plate of scones which were slathered with orange icing, though at seeing his other friend had rejoined them, he scooped up the scone and then turned to head their way with a curious look on his face, "Any luck?" he asked as he sat down next to Harry.
"Partially." and the girl looked slightly crestfallen.
"Well, what we got?" the ginger asked as he took a bite of the pastry and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.
"Napkin, Ronald."
"Guys, stop, come on...what did you find Hermione?" Harry urged as he felt yet another slice of brutally harsh impatience flare.
"Right, sorry, in all the books I have the Union of Opposites is only mentioned once and it was only brought up in passing. It references an obscure text I've never heard of…"
"Let me guess, Ancient Magical Myths and How to Understand them." Harry said.
Hermione looked up at him in confusion, "No, a book called… Conjunctio Animarum. It's an old book from a very long time ago, and went missing sometime around the turn of the century."
"Missing? From where?" Ron asked with his mouth half full.
"It doesn't say, but it does suggest that who ever took it more than likely didn't have the best of intentions as most of the things in the book were either based around dark magic or binding spells. They included ancient rituals and the like….some even had sacrificial bloodletting ceremonies and orgies…"
Ron choked on his scone and spit up into his hand, "Oh for Pete's sake Ron-" and the two were off on a tangent after that. Harry found himself swimming into the deeper waters of his mind as he wondered why the book that Severus had shown him made it all seem so benign. Why had such a book described some random marriage ceremony and not these awful rituals that Hermione was describing?
It made his worry, made him second guess what he knew….and to his surprise….it made him second guess Severus. Harry had never considered his potions professor as someone who could be wrong in his academic knowledge. The Dark and brooding man had been wrong in plenty of other aspects of his life, his judgment of Harry being a prime example. But Harry also knew, the man was a walking encyclopedia of knowledge and was very well educated, he was highly intelligent and knew far more than any of the students at school gave him credit for.
Severus was not the type of person to misread information, to not understand something...he was too logical...to calculating….to...Severus to misread something so important like that or not understand it. It made Harry fear that he may have been mislead….then again...Harry did have a habit of overthinking things.
Before he could question the girl further a loud pop came from outside and in seconds everyone in the house was moving towards the front door. When Harry peeked out from around all the bodies he saw Severus striding towards the house with a cold glare on his face and stiff legs.
He looks like he does when he is at school, why does he look so pissed off?
When the man made it to the front door he was ushered in and asked all sorts of questions, mostly from Mrs. and Mr. Weasley, though the twins did seem to get a kick out of asking how old moldy-Voldy was, which got them a stern smack on the back of their heads by their mother and a rather annoyed question of why they weren't at work from their father.
"Arthur, Molly, may I speak with you privately?" Severus asked them, though his eyes did stray to Harry who gave him a very annoyed glare. The man cocked a brow but followed the two parents into the living room seconds later.
Harry felt more anger flare but didn't do or say anything, he simply went to get his things, ignoring the looks he received from the rest of the group for his silence.
PAGEBREAK
"I have been requested by the Dark Lord to come tand stay with him a few days, I was hoping you would allow Harry to remain in your care until my task with the man is complete."
"Of course, Harry can stay as long as you need." Molly said though her face held concern as she looked at him and then glanced to her husband, "Do you know what the task is?" Arthur asked.
"He wishes me to learn a spell, though Albus has asked me to keep it a secret for now, if word were to spread it could give away my position. This cannot be made known to anyone, I am entrusting you to not speak a word of it to Harry or anyone else, your immediate family included. If they should ask I am simply taking a few days for myself to work on a potion for the Headmaster."
Arthur nodded and Molly bit her lip nervously, there was silence a moment before the redheaded man asked softly, "Should we have any concerns for your safe return? Should we prepare any sort of secondary plan should something happen to you?" he had asked it reluctantly, not wanting to feed into doubt nor cause anymore apprehension than was necessary but Severus admired the man's practical nature.
"I do not believe anything I shall be doing whilst in the Dark Lord's company should be cause for worry. But, if such an instance were to arise…. I do believe you and Molly would retain your custody of Harry, you will not worry about me. Harry's care comes first, his protection is key to our long term goals. You must not let the boy wonder off, nor go looking for me, it would spell disaster for everyone and put us all in extreme danger."
"Alright. We will keep an eye on him and the kids, make sure they don't get up to mischief." Arthur promised and Severus nodded as he stood, "I shall bring Harry by this evening, there are things I need to discuss with him before I leave."
"Do be careful Severus, Harry seems to have grown rather fond of you and I don't know what he would do if something happened to you." Molly urged gently as she took her husband's hand and gazed up at him.
Severus watched the subtle nature of the connection, noticed how it seemed to reassure the woman despite her being the one to initiate it and he felt a sort of bemused puzzlement at it. Though he was no stranger to holding someone's hand, he and Lily had done it all the time while in school, this seemed different and he realized he was staring and no longer responding, "Have a good day." He murmured.
Severus turned and headed for the kitchen, finding Harry whispering to his two comrades in arms conspiratorially before they looked up and fell silent.
"Alright Potter, let's go." Severus said tartly and the boy waved goodbye as he followed the older wizard out the door.
As they walked away from the house and it's protected borders neither said a word and Severus felt something heavy hanging in the air between them. All he wanted to do was go home, have a drink, eat, bath and then lay down to sleep, preferably with Harry laying next to him. But Severus had a feeling that despite the beautiful day that lay before them, despite the fact that he could now admit to himself he had missed Harry and his company while he had been forced to report to Voldemort, and the long night that followed as he meditated and tried to find an easy ebb and flow to controlling his emotions while simultaneously allowing them to be free, he knew that there would be no peace.
Still, for reasons he could not fathom as they walked away from the house he felt his arm reach out and he threaded his fingers through Harry's, not looking at the youth when those green eyes fell on him with question.
Once they were a safe distance away Severus apparated, hoping that despite the heavy air around them somehow today would be a good one.
PAGEBREAK
When Harry entered the backdoor of the house he looked around the kitchen for any sign of someone else being present, his mind pushing him to find some explanation as to why the man had not come for him sooner. Surely the man would have come for him the instant he returned, yet Harry had a sneaking suspicion Severus had not. He saw a used coffee cup on the counter, an indication the man had been here prior to picking up him.
Sticking his head through the doorway leading to the sitting room he saw an empty tumbler where there had not been one prior to his departure, he swung around harshly and crossed his arms over his chest as he eyed the man who had just shut the door behind him.
"When did you get back last night?" Harry asked.
Severus gave him a curious look and then said softly, "Around three, I thought it best not to wake you, so I came this morning instead."
Harry felt more anger rise and his eyes narrowed as another pinch of nerves in his neck erupted and he rubbed at it harshly as his eyes jerked tightly closed, "I didn't sleep, I was up all night worrying. You should have come for me, why didn't you come for me?" and Harry heard his sharp tone and knew he was raising his voice but for some reason his anger kept growing despite the fact he knew it shouldn't even be there.
Severus looked at him curiously, "Potter, how are you feeling?"
This only made Harry more angry and he turned away sharply as he walked into the sitting room, "Who was here?" he asked as his fingers landed on the rim of the crystal tumbler, he pressed down and the glass rested precariously on its bottom rim.
"No one." he heard the man say from the doorway, his tone weary but absolute.
Harry's shoulders tense and he felt the glass slide and then roll off the table only to break against the floor, "Liar!" he yelled as he spun, "I know someone was here with you!"
Severus crossed his arms over his chest and his own eyes narrowed dangerously, "You are being paranoid and rather immature if I do say so myself, I assure you no one was here-"
"Yeah? A mug on the sink and a tumbler by your chair….you didn't come for me until near nine, if you got back at three that's five hours without me here...you could have been doing anything."
"I could have been but I was not, I took the time to meditate and focus on my Occlumency. Now, you will stop this childish display of paranoid jealousy or you will regret it."
"I wouldn't threaten me right now if I were you." Harry said as he took several slow steps towards the man, his anger becoming rather beastly in his chest, "Why are you so upset, Potter?" Severus asked.
"Don't call me Potter! Use my name! You've bloody well taken advantage enough without giving me the respect of using my name!"
"Is that what I have been doing?" and Harry heard the deathly quiet tone of the man's voice, recognized the alarm bells going off in the back of his head but the anger seemed to push past his common sense and so he moved to stand right before him and brought his hand into the man's hair, fisting it hard and pulling down, the man complying with his harsh yank but not giving any indication as to the amount of pain it may have caused, "You should have come for me, you are being very stupid right now and taking for granted my affections...I'd be far more careful in the future if you want me to-"
But Harry never finished because in that instant Severus had him by the throat and pressed to the entryway frame between the kitchen and sitting room, his face marred by anger and his lips a cruel sneer, "Clear your mind." the man ordered sharply.
"What are you do-"
"Now! Clear your mind you insolent brat!" the man spat out and gave a jerk which caused Harry's head to smack against the entryway wall behind him.
"Let me go!" Harry bellowed loudly and Severus leaned in closer, his voice near deadly, "If you don't do as I say I will hex you until you can't see! NOW FOCUS AND CLEAR YOUR MIND YOU STUPID IDIOT!"
Harry gritted his teeth as rage erupted like a volcano in his chest and before he could stop himself his fist whipped out violently and caught Severus around his brow. Stumbling back the man released him but it wasn't until Harry saw the small trickle of blood running down the man's temple that his anger deflated instantly and terror filled his eyes, "Professor...I- I'm sorry- I…didn't mean to..."
But the man was on him instantly, grabbing him up by the back of the neck and dragging him towards the stairs. Harry tried again to apologize but Severus was moving fast, his nails digging into the back of Harry's neck with a vengeance and as he stumbled up the stairs he felt his heart sinking quickly.
"Please, wait, I don't know why I-"
"Silence!" the man hissed as he threw Harry into his room, the youth landing roughly on the floor.
"You will remain here until you have calmed down, and you will meditate until that bloody temper of yours is under control and your paranoid and jealous delusions have ended." Severus slammed the door and Harry heard a click.
Instantly the boy was up and at the door banging, "No! PLEASE DON'T LOCK ME IN! I'm sorry! I will be good! Don't lock me in! PLEASE!" Harry very nearly sobbed, "Not here, don't…don't be like them…. please don't shut me away, don't ignore me! I will be good!" but the lock didn't budge and as Harry sank to the floor, tears flooding down his face at the very idea of being locked up in this place he had started to feel so comfortable in, all he could do was cry and snivel like a child, murmuring to be let out, hoping the man would forgive him and not forget about him like everyone always seemed to do.
PAGEBREAK
When Severus locked the door he didn't expect the chaotic cacophony that followed. Harry throwing himself against the door desperately and pleading to be released from his room. A cold shiver ran up the man's spine as his stomach filled with a numb dread...Harry never locked his door...and Severus recalled seeing the vast array of heavy metal locks on the door at his relative's home.
It was an easy puzzle to solve and he felt more guilty than he thought he would be able to given the boy had just punched him in the head. But he had to be firm, force Harry to be strong and fight his demons. What ever trauma he had suffered through in his youth was just a weakness, one that Severus knew Harry could overcome if he just tried.
Severus ignored the noises he heard as his mind began to focus on what had just happened. That had not been Harry down stairs, that anger….that paranoid jealousy had been someone else's entirely and Severus knew who.
He needed to clean up his face and then send a short message to Dumbledore. It was officially confirmed, Harry was suffering from shared emotions just as Voldemort was. The bond they shared, whatever it was, however it had worked in the past, it was different now...it wasn't closing. This meant that Severus would have to start Harry's training for Occlumency as soon as he returned.
He pressed up from his slouched position against the boys door and headed for the bathroom, pressing his emotions aside and focusing on the tasks ahead. Summer was very quickly coming to an end and Severus knew that things were going to be changing drastically for both him and Harry. He could not leave the boy locked up all night as he had to tell him what was going on, had to get ready to spend the next few days learning a new spell from the Dark Lord himself.
What was he to tell the boy? The truth? A half lie? How would Harry respond given his current state? It was ten thirty, the man noted. By early evening he had to send Harry back to the burrow and he needed to come up with a plan, something that would make Harry understand….be it the truth or a lie Severus had to take care to be gentle, as any little thing could now set the boy off.
Give him time to cool off, then talk to him and show him you still care….you can do that….be….loving? And Severus shivered, not because love disgusted him, not because he didn't think he could...but because he had yet to show such depth of emotions to the troubled youth and he wasn't sure how Harry would respond.
Love was a very difficult thing….it made you lash out and yet it made you kind…..it could kill you or help you survive….being in love was different than simply loving someone….it was a sticky, messy and cruel thing filled with passion, wonder and gut wrenching anguish. Severus doubted he could ever love anyone the way he had loved Lily, but if he could he was sure it would be someone like Harry. Someone so kind and gentle, unconditionally forgiving and warm, quiet and shy but brave and boldly annoying.
Severus smirked as he wiped the blood from his temple, the contradictory nature of his thoughts versus the blood on his face not lost on him. But he knew that right now, even after such an unnecessary blow up he still just wanted to take the boy to his room and lay down next to him. Severus realized he truly was becoming much too accustomed to such little conveniences and it made him feel far more weak than it should.
As he went to apply plaster to the cut Severus heard a loud bang from Harry's room and then a small sob and panted breaths. He turned and poked his head out into the hall and let out a soft breath. He couldn't go back on his choice. Potter needed to learn his lesson….
And what lesson is that Severus? Not to let a psycho share his evil emotions with him when he isn't even aware it is happening? How dare he act upon something he didn't even know about….so foolish…
"Shut up." Severus murmured as he slowly approached the door. Pressing his ear to the old wood gently he heard Harry talking to himself, soft murmurs of reassurance, "He won't leave you here all night, he won't forget you're here….it's just a punishment, not forever. He will unlock the door, relax, focus, breath in….find your center...calm down….god, get out of my head….push him away...calm down and find your center….stop the anger…" the estranged words and sentences continued and Severus found his heart filling with remorse at his harsh actions and the small amount of guilt that had settled in the back of his mind was pressing forward.
Severus had never reneged on punishment, in his entire time as a professor at Hogwarts he always saw every punishment through to the end. There was never a desire to take back or undo any detention or punishment he had given because every single one, he felt anyway, was justified and proper.
In this instance though, maybe for the first time ever, he had acted too quickly, allowed his anger to get the better of him….he shouldn't have…..he should have tried harder to pull Harry back instead of push him away and force him to face this on his own.
Punishment was made for those who had done wrong, all Harry had done was react to emotions that weren't his own and lashed out when his jealousy got the better of him...no doubt Voldemort's own paranoid aggressions fed the small fears and had ignited something that could have easily been spoken about respectfully, to spiral out of control.
That's what Voldemort did, what he was incredibly skilled at, feeding fear and doubt, pushing anger and hate….all he needed was one tiny little flame and he could breathe such life into it to start a hundred year war and decimate and divide an entire culture...an entire race.
His hand was turning the key and twisting the knob moments later and for the first time in his life Severus Snape felt like he had done wrong by his actions in regards to a student. He pushed the door open and found Harry sitting in the far corner, arms around his legs and eyes closed as he breathed in and out slowly, trying to do what the man had ordered him to do.
His face was red, his brow sweaty and Severus knew he was fighting right now, trying to close a connection that he couldn't, trying to face demons that were near overpowering.
You have done wrong by him Severus….make it right.
"Harry." He said gently and those red rimmed eyes opened, shinning green emeralds looking to him with such a surprised and yet devastated hope, that all he could do was sigh and raise his arms, opening them up and saying gently, "Come to me."
Harry was up in an instant, stumbling to him and embracing Severus fiercely as he let out a frustrated growl into the man's chest, "I'm sorry." He said in an obvious self-frustrated tone.
"It's alright, I was too harsh. I knew you were suffering from the effects of Voldemort's hateful nature, I should have tried to help you… I did not mean to hurt you so."
"I deserved it." Harry murmured into Severus's chest.
"You did not. I was too quick to anger, I should not have let myself feed off your own aggressions. I was ignorant."
Harry seemed to strengthen his hold and then said softly, "As soon as you left me in here I realized I could sense it….his anger...his...mind….it's so small….almost like a ghost…. I didn't notice it at first because it blended near perfectly with my own anger. But I wouldn't ever physically attack someone like that...it wasn't me...I know you wouldn't do that either...what I implied….it was like I had no control over it...my fears...the paranoia...it's just so toxic… all that anger."
Severus nodded as he placed his chin atop the boy's head and closed his eyes, savoring this embrace, this peaceful moment of apologies and honest truths, "And sometimes….it feels good." Severus said with a very small smirk, hoping to alleviate the tension.
"Not this time...this time it felt...dangerous….it felt….powerful and filled me with an intense desire to hurt you… I didn't like it after...not this time."
Severus could only nod his understanding as he brought a hand up to cup the boy's chin, "I need to know you are alright. I have many things to discuss with you...some of it you are not going to like and I need to know you can have some form of control over yourself before I tell you."
Harry looked up at him, those green eyes studying his face and trying to discern the nature of Severus's news. Raising a hand, Harry brought his palm to a pale cheek and rubbed up into that hair, tucking it behind an ear and saying nervously, "I need your help, will you guide me through my meditations? I think I can do better if you help me."
Severus nodded and leaned down, taking up those thin lips and gently showing his affections through a kiss that was serenely tender. Harry gave a breathy moan into his mouth and Severus felt that all too enjoyable heat flood his lower stomach. It wasn't the time for such things but how desperately he wanted to do them was near electric in his mind.
When they pulled away Severus urged the boy into another embrace before he sighed out lazily, "You will be the death of me."
"And you mine, sir." Harry offered up affectionately and then Severus finally let him go and guided the boy to his room.
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"How do you feel now Harry?" Severus asked as the two came to the final release of their meditative session.
"Better." the boy said as he let one last breath out and looked to his mentor with a gentle smile.
Severus nodded as he let his eyes stare at the boy in the candle light, a scarred and pale torso glowing in the dark of his room, those light brown pants a startling contrast against such dark hair which ran down below the tight waist line. Considering how much yard work the boy usually had to do Severus was surprised Harry wasn't tanner than he appeared. Though, Severus wasn't really bothered by it, pale skin suited the boy before him and he couldn't keep the desire to remove those pants from the boy's body out of his mind.
"What do you want to speak to me about, sir?" and Harry asked the question so innocently that Severus had to argue with himself, his body suggesting that he had plenty of time….it was only noon….he could...they could have a few minutes to just….
"Sir?"
Shaking his head slowly he took a breath and stood, "Let's eat, we can discuss it over lunch. Do you need a shower?"
Harry shook his head and so the two left the room together. While he had helped Harry with his meditation he tried to think of the best way to break the news, to tell the boy all things that he needed to without causing him more panic.
In the end Severus decided to simply be honest, already fighting the urges he had to come clean about that damned book. He would tell Harry the truth about it should it become important to do so, for now however, it was just more stress.
After spelling together a light lunch of sandwiches and soup Severus sat down and glanced at the boy across from him, wondering where to begin. He took a breath and rubbed a hand down his face as he knew no matter where he started this conversation would most likely not end well.
"There are several matters I need to discuss with you, frankly, I don't know where to begin so I will just start with the most important. Last evening while I was with the Dark Lord he seemed to be acting normal. His manner was what we have all come to expect, terrifying and mercilessly cold. That is until I was alone with him. At first I thought he might be toying with me… it would not have been surprising as he does enjoy unnerving those around him...but as our conversation progressed I realized that Voldemort did not seem to be aware of his actions….it occurred to me that he was speaking and acting in a way that I would not normally attribute to his personality."
Harry's brow furrowed as he spoke softly, "I don't understand, what was he doing, who was he acting like?"
Severus swallowed and leaned forward a little, his fingers twitching as they rested on his knees, "He was behaving like you Harry…. He even went so far as to tuck my hair behind an ear."
Severus saw the boy's face pale, his brow shooting up and those brilliant green eyes fill with anxiety, "Voldemort was acting like...me?"
"It was….strange to say the least….very unsettling." and this is where Severus knew he had to lie, and his heart ached a little at the thought, "leaving out any personal information about you and I that the Headmaster did not need to know, I informed him of the Dark Lord's strange behavior and he seemed to think it would be possible for this connection between you and Voldemort to be reversible. That perhaps, he was receiving feelings from you….sharing and receiving your over abundance of often positive feelings...for friends….family…..loved ones….just as you often receive his rather daunting emotions and feelings of hate, anger and aggression. Professor Dumbledore also believes, the link between you is not closing off as it once did, as Voldemort was able to do…. That you two can no longer block each other….in essence you are sharing thoughts, feelings, random tidbits of information without even realizing it. This is why it is so important that you try to meditate as often as possible, to keep your thoughts and feelings as calm and placid as you can."
"Professor….do you think that is why I have been so moody? So angry? Why sometimes all this hatred and aggression feels good? It's not actually me….it's Voldemort's feelings….his emotions...his mind is sharing these things with me unwillingly?"
"We should never assume, especially with someone as twisted and evil as Voldemort, that he isn't doing such things on purpose….however, I do not believe as of yet he is aware that this bond can go both ways. He knows that he can view your thoughts….your memories and even your dreams….but if he was at all aware that such things...your feelings included, were coming to him on some subconscious level...changing his actions, words and personality….he would be far more likely to try and find a way to stop it. Love, companionship….friendship….it is all disgusting to him...all vial refuse. He would not want such things affecting his actions….affecting his mind."
Harry seemed to be thinking very hard for a moment, before he looked up and said in a rather sheepish tone, "Maybe...we could use this to our advantage….maybe it could be a benefit to allow Voldemort to feel something other than-"
"No. You must not think like that, while it is a noble thought, that demon cannot be saved or changed….he has sunken to far into the darkness, he has always been and will always be a homicidal maniac...do not think you could have any long term or lasting affect on him. It would be foolish and put you in grave danger. While I am away I want you to promise me you will refrain from trying to share or suggest anything to the Dark Lord….you will focus on the schedule of meditation I lay out for you and wait for my return...promise me….please." Severus said softly, his dark eyes staring at him intensely, near begging the boy not to try to be the hero this time...not to put himself in such a risky spot.
Harry finally nodded, albeit reluctantly and so Severus moved on, "Dumbledore has ordered me not to discuss my next bit of information with anyone, as any word of it getting out could expose my position as a spy...even now I should not be telling you as the connection you share with the Dark Lord is very dangerous and if he realized I told you it could be disastrous. I am counting on you to retain a hard control on your mind and emotions while I am gone, to not share this with anyone."
"Gone?" Harry asked and Severus winced internally, that was not how he had planned to break the news.
"Yes….the Dark Lord has ordered me to report to him first thing tomorrow and begin the immeasurable task of learning a new spell. It has left me with few options save for to deposit you at the burrow this evening and leave. But I must make you understand….make you understand that I understand how hard it is for you to fight the Dark Lord's molestation of your mind….while I am gone… you absolutely MUST try to manage your thoughts and feelings, especially before you sleep. I shall try to be gone no longer than three days but the complicated nature of this new spell could take time to learn."
Harry nodded but his eyes showed his worries, "Sir, this spell….it isn't a new unforgivable is it?"
Severus shook his head as his eyes darted to the table, a finger coming to run around the rim of his cup, "No. Believe me, if I could tell you I would….but I cannot….even now as we speak Voldemort could be listening albeit subconsciously….unaware of his ability to do so...the Dark Lord even referred to me as a Scrag…"
This time Harry looked near sick with worry, "I have never told him about any of my youth in Spinner's End, nor does he have reason to come here….he picked it up from your mind Harry….and he didn't even question how he knew the word...he simply used it as if he had always known it. Do you understand how important it is for you to really try...to really perfect your meditations...to keep your emotions as your own and not let your mind wonder?"
This time Harry nodded swiftly, a new form of determination setting in on his face, "I won't let you down. I will protect myself...protect you."
Severus smirked at the boy's sudden tenacity and slowly reached a hand up from his lap to rest over Harry's, "I believe you can, but you must promise me to keep from acting hastily as well. If I am not back in three days you need not worry. While you endeavour to master your mind and emotions I will endeavour to learn this spell as quickly as possible. You must have faith in both me and yourself. Do not go running off if I do not return promptly. It would be far worse for me if you were to manage to locate me and nothing be wrong...do you agree?"
Harry's tone was soft, filled with regret, and Severus had not doubt he was thinking about the ministry, about what had happened with Black and Severus felt a twinge of remorse at having to drudge up such painful memories, "Yes, sir."
Severus slowly stood, holding out a hand to the boy still sitting, "Come..." He said in a near whisper and Harry reached out a hand, took his and stood, their eyes not blinking as they gazed at each other.
Knowing they needed to prepare for what was to come, knowing they needed to pack their bags and spend sometimes working on a schedule for the boy to follow, Severus was reluctant still as the sooner they got ready the sooner he would have to leave….but he wanted to have some time with the boy….wanted to touch him….three days was an estimate...it could take longer, God's forbid… he didn't like the idea of sleeping in some dreary castle with the boy no where near…. To not be able to reach out and pull him close at night.
Before Harry came here, before all this madness started he wouldn't have had any problems. He would have spent this time in deep meditation, then spent hours on his Occlumency practices...but he was feeling very lazy….very…. Tempted to sherk his responsibilities….something he hadn't felt since his youth.
Severus gently pulled Harry close, his heart rate increasing as he gazed into those green eyes, "This will be the longest I will have been away from you since I came here." Harry mused softly.
"Only three days, maybe two if I find the spell easy to learn." Severus comforted as he ran his lips gently back and forth across Harry's brow.
"Learning something from Voldemort ….bit scary isn't it?"
"Not really, as long as I do everything he says and do not fail." Severus felt excitement grow a little in his chest and stomach as his lips skimmed down to gently kiss the boy's neck.
Harry's eyes fluttered closed and he licked his lips as he took a breath, "How do you not piss off a crazy person?"
Raising his fingers of to Harry's neck, he gently tugged at the fabric to expose a shoulder, "Often times you can not help it if you do...best to just stay quiet, speak only when spoken to and don't give any opinions unless asked for it….in essence….become an object and usually you are quiet safe…" and he nipped at the now red flesh, one hand moving around to cup Harry's arse and he gently turned and pressed the boy against the table's edge."
"You are distracting me…" Harry said, "We should be getting you ready to go...you should be meditating too."
"This counts…" Severus said stubbornly as he found his way back to those thin lips, "It really doesn't…" Harry protested weakly.
"We have time...and if I am to spend the next three days without you...I want your screams of ecstasy ringing in my memories...something to keep me warm at night….where I am going is quite cold."
He kissed those lips, as he took Harry's hands up and guided them to lace around his neck, he then felt his way down the boy's sides to fold around and pull him closer.
"You will behave while I am gone...yes?" he murmured against the boy's ear, pressing his hips into Harry's and rocking ever so slightly.
"Yes, sir." it was a whispered response, Harry's fingers stroking gently over Severus's neck and up into his hair.
Severus couldn't help himself then at the sound of such a breathy response, jerking the boy up to set him on the table, their forgotten lunch growing cold and only serving to take up room. He wondered if Harry would miss him, wondered what the boy would do if he woke up to arousal and found himself alone…
"You will do one more thing for me while you are away, "Severus found himself purring out softly against Harry's cheek before running his lips softly back and forth on the boy's jaw.
"Yes, sir?" Harry panted.
"If you find yourself wanting at any time while I am gone….you will think of me when you touch yourself." he leaned back a little to spy the boy's face, saw the red erupt like a scarlet rose across pale cheeks and the glazed look of arousal in Harry's eyes.
"Promise to think of me… only me...when your stroke yourself to completion." and Severus took up Harry's face between his hands, thumbs stroke those deliciously red cheeks as his dark eyes bid Harry to comply.
"Yes, sir." and Harry's voice was thick with need, his body near placid as he leaned in and ran his tongue and lips gently over Severus's, the man giving a small groan of delight in response.
Severus quickly pulled his wand put, gave a flick to clear the table of clutter and then tossed his wand on the counter behind him. He pressed Harry down with a palm to his chest, the boy's head just barely remaining on the table, the small thing giving a creak in turn due to the weight.
Not hesitating, his hands ran down over clothes, coming to stop at the button and zip, his jaw clenching tight as he realized once they were open there would be no going back.
His fingers moved quickly, but his body language remained calm and once Harry's waist was loose Severus pressed both the trousers and boxers down over narrow hips, dragging them off roughly; the skin he was feeling erupting in goosebumps.
Panting breaths pulsed up into the air before him and Severus palmed those thighs as soon as he stood and jerked them apart with a soft grunt "I need to be with you…. now." Severus murmured darkly and he started to press against Harry, his groin undulating deliciously blunt against his companion as he quickly jerked at the button on his collar and chest.
Harry's prick was hard, his body ready and Severus licked his lips quickly as he yanked his tunic and undershirt off.
Seconds later he was sucking on Harry's neck, the boy's desperate pants growing with desire. "I wish to try something new tonight….will you let me?" Severus asked seductively into the boy's ear. Harry nodded but Severus wanted more than just a nod, "Speak, Harry."
"Yes."
"Yes what?" Severus demanded tenderly, his lips brushing over Harry's as his fingers glided up a thigh to circle around that swollen muscle persuasively.
"Yes, sir." and he watched as Harry's stomach tightened, a small smirk curving his lips up as he watched Harry's suffering with glee.
"Would you let me do anything?" and those fingers grew closer, one just barely tracing over the boy's balls which made Harry give a shudder, "Yes, sir." and his tone was a whimpering mess of want, his muscles tightening sporadically before releasing and tightening again, hips almost bucking, "Anything at all? I could be quite demented if given such allowances.
"Anything, sir….anything you want…"
"You are such a good boy...aren't you?" Severus asked, wanting to play with the strange arousal Harry received from such dirty talk. It was a contradictory perversion, but perhaps that was the point… letting go and just accepting something that you might normally find unpleasant. Either way, Severus found he enjoyed such things, god forbid Harry ever say such a thing to him.
"Yes, sir."
"And you are mine, yes?" his middle finger starting to slide up and down the firm shaft which twitched in response.
"Yes, sir!" Harry gasped out, "All mine?" Severus prompted as he slowly began to move that finger down to Harry's inner thigh, Severus near gasping when he felt the soft warm skin beneath his finger.
"Yes, sir, everything...all yours!" Harry's body was starting to truly show signs of immense strain as he fought against the urge to cum prematurely. Severus found it endearing and highly enjoyable to watch, bringing that finger away from Harry's nearing red member and pressing a finger into that trembling mouth, "Suck, get it wet…." Severus breathed, his own arousal growing even quicker when Harry complied.
After a moment he withdrew his digit and pressed his lips to Harry's ear, "Spread your legs Harry, spread them for me."
Harry didn't hesitate and Severus leaned down to watch Harry's face with intensity as he brought his finger to that tight ring of muscle, knowing this was about to enter them into a whole new level of intimacy, one he hoped Harry was ready for, he spoke in a hushed voice, "I want you to relax, breath... I want you to imagine what this might feel like... if it were my prick." and Severus pressed his wet finger inside swiftly, Harry's back arching clear off the table and his teeth gritting as he let out a guttural yell.
Severus felt a heady intoxication run through him, knew his own face must have shown it too, but he couldn't care as he pressed his mouth to Harry's and swallowed those luscious sounds and groaned back into that open mouth.
His eyes snapped closed as he felt Harry's tight muscles, the heat and that undeniably slick tunnel, his mind exploded with images, thoughts and ideas of how it might feel if he were to just roll the boy over and claim him now.
"Exquisite…" he groaned out as he allowed Harry's body to adjust, "That's it...just relax...it is only one finger…just take it in… enjoy it." he murmured against those pulsing lips, Harry's face contorted and yet filled with the view of someone in bliss.
"Says you…" Harry breathed out and Severus smirked as he pushed in deeper and found that sweet spot that he knew would drive Harry to the edge. His black eyes watched as the boy's body tensed, his abs becoming more defined as his body prepared for the spill, "Shite!" Harry gasped when Severus ran a finger gently over his prostate. He took in every inch of the boy's face, the sounds and feelings….he wanted more...so badly did he want to just...
"I would hold on tight if I were you." Severus said and he pulled out a little and pressed back in, watching the boy's face screw up again in the most enchanting and arousing way, his brow arched up painfully high, eyes pinched closed and mouth open in a silent 'O'.
"I don't think I can help what I am about to do...I hope you'll forgive me…" Severus groaned nearly lost in delight as he pulled out one more time.
"What are you going to-" but he didn't let Harry finish, for he crashed their mouths together, pressing his tongue inside and lapping deeply into that mouth. He was scissoring his two fingers together to spread the moisture to his middle digit, then he placed them at the entrance and pressed in fast, hitting the prostate hard.
Harry let out a strangled yell as he came brutally fast, continuing to let out sounds of the most unholy nature and Severus watched him squirm as he drank down those cries with such exuberance, his excitement growing as he pulled away, his fingers still gliding in and out far too fast for Harry's first time, yet his heart was growing heavy with emotions that were much too dangerous to be there.
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The pain that he felt nearly overload the pleasure, but as soon as Severus's fingers hit deeper the sharp pleasure broke through and the two became one, swirling and twisting together to give Harry the most intense orgasm he had ever had. It made his entire body jolt, his soul scream and his hips buck wildly as he felt his face twist into a petrified mask of ecstasy.
He yelled Severus's name and nearly tried to squirm away as the man did not let up on his harsh deep penetrating thrusts. But Severus didn't stop and he pressed his free hand to Harry's chest as he shoved his fingers in again.
"S-Sir! Please….I-"
"Just once more for me, me a good boy and cum for me again…" and the man's voice was that of utter ruin as he continued to stroke into him and Harry didn't feel the pain anymore, all he felt was that electric pleasure, the pressure of that spot being rubbed over and over, his body instantly responding as if by some silent command.
"Too soon...too much...I c-can't…"
"I'm stimulating your prostate...I do believe you can...several times in fact...now cum for me...like the good boy you are." the man nearly hissed out as he jerked his arm and his fingers pressed harshly against that spot…. the sweet raw spot that pushed him to his edge but was leaving him suspended in air, wired and strung out and unable to reach another peek.
"Please….let me rest...just a minute to…" Harry begged profoundly as another gasp escaped him and his arms instantly wrapped around the man's neck to try and ground himself.
"Now." the man ordered and at his tone Harry could do nothing but try to comply as those fingers continued to push and pull and stroke over his sweet spot, massaging and rubbing it and Harry felt his nails dig across his professors back, skin becoming pliant to his scratches as he tried desperately to reach an end that would please his partner and shoot him into oblivion.
Severus pressed in harder and Harry's back arched as his hips began to buck again, hands clenching that larger body to his own, their chests and stomachs smacking together as his mouth opened and sounds came out unbidden, sounds so desperate and licentious and filthy he almost felt ashamed.
"That's it...just let it come, cum for me….right now Harry...cum." and Harry did, somehow he did even though he felt like he couldn't and this time it was near painful, white hot and deliciously pure.
He felt tears at the corners of his eyes from the burning pain in his muscles which mixed with the raw spike of his orgasm. This time he near screamed but Severus brought his mouth down, covering Harry's lips and swallowing it as if he were eating a holy communion. Those fingers slowly stalling and then finally coming to a stop, remaining inside of him even after he lay delirious on the table, sweat coating his brow and his chest heaving, eyes closed and tears flowing.
When Severus pulled his lips away he gently pressed his cheek to Harry's, that soft silky voice saying so sweetly and with utter satisfaction, "That was excellent Mr. Potter...next time we shall try for three….you may hallucinate but I promise not to tell a soul what you say in your hysteria."
Harry's eyes slowly cracked open to gaze up at him, "I couldn't."
"That is why we practice…" and Severus paused to take in the sight before him. The boy splayed out on the table, heels just barely able to rest on the edge, knees apart, face sweaty and cheeks red, those lips still trembling from the aftershocks and a mess on his stomach.
He realized in that moment the effect he had just had on Harry, the fact that he was the cause of such a state made him even more hungry, his want growing as he realized Harry was near helpless with exhaustion...he could get away with doing just about anything to him and the boy would be unable to stop him.
Dousing such dark thoughts instantly Severus leaned forward as he allowed a warm rumble of amusement to emit from his chest, "You've made a mess...rest..I will see to it." Severus turned away and went to the sink, taking up a clean rag and soaking it with cool water from the sink.
When he returned to the table he used the cool damp cloth to wipe the sweat from Harry's brow, running it down his neck, chest and stomach to clean up the boy's seed.
"That feels good." Harry sighed in relief as Severus continued to clean up the effects of his labor.
"You are absolutely ruined...I do love to see you so...wrecked." Severus purred and Harry shivered at the sound. He was exhausted but Severus saw a gleam in that eye, a desire to please and he found himself clearing his throat to speak but Harry beat him to it, "I want to go to the bedroom." Harry said softly and Severus felt his heart accelerate, his lower abdomen twist in such a tight hot knot he had to ask, "And what, exactly, do you need in the bedroom?"
Harry managed to sit up, wincing a little as he lowered his legs and sat on his arse, "You." he said softly, his lips moving to kiss severus's bare chest and the man shivered and gasped softly.
"We are short on time….I will be fine to wait until I return…"
Harry ran a hand up the man's chest and neck before pressing his fingers through soft black hair and whispering out, "Take me to your bed Professor...I am in need of practice."
Severus was near panting and his eyes looked greedily down at him, his tongue quickly licking his lips as warm hands came to take up Harry's face, "You wish to please me?" and his eyes were filled with longing, his face waiting with a desperate desire for such a thing to be true and Harry pulled his face closer as he murmured against lips, "Yes, sir… all night if I could."
The man before him seemed to hesitate but then said in a rather rough voice, "Be very careful what you say, it could come true."
Harry looked up into those dark eyes, full of desire and greedy want, "I hope so...I plan to be here on my birthday professor...you won't be able to keep me away… and as soon as the clock strikes midnight-"
"Don't you dare tempt me so...you would be sorry for it in the morning."
Harry stood then, his knees still shaky and his body trembling but he took the man's hand and gently pulled, walking backwards and maintaining eye contact, "I'd be more sorry to wake up the next day knowing you hadn't thoroughly destroyed my virtue…"
"Harry…" the man said with shock, his eyes growing wide as they passed through the sitting room. Harry decided he liked seeing Severus look that way, surprise was not something he often showed and it made him look far younger, far less in control of himself.
Harry only smirked and continued, "between you and me I can't wait to feel you inside me." They were going up the stairs now, Harry still keeping the man's eye, still guiding him and luring him closer to the bedroom, "and I can't wait to feel the soreness after when you've had me. I want you to claim me as yours."
When they reached the man's door Severus suddenly shoved the boy into it, hands on either side of his head, a overpowering lust lacing his face, his breath no longer panting but huffing as those black eyes grew more and more hazy and lost in sexual desire, "Don't you want me to be yours, sir?"
Severus grabbed Harry's jaw and looked at him in frustration, "Gods...if I had known when I first brought you here that you could be such a little devil-"
"The bed, sir….I want to go to your bed...will you take me?" the double meaning was not lost on either of them.
Harry watched as the man fought with himself, knew he was pushing all the right buttons to make the man's well ordered control slip, but Harry wasn't trying to push for sex, he could wait for that, but if it happened now...
Somehow, he wanted to please this man, really make him submit to such intense pleasures that he would be as destroyed as Harry often felt after. That destruction also being his most treasured and sacred feeling, as he realized that his own submission was what made the skyrocketing end so enthralling, so dark and sweet.
However, Severus did not seem like the type to submit so willingly, yet Harry wanted to try something new as well...it was only fair right? Harry, though he felt slightly guilty, found he enjoyed tempting his professor, seducing him and making him shudder with want, the satisfaction and power was intoxicating and also made him feel proud, made him feel attractive and wanted.
It was a new sensation to Harry, one that made him feel ashamed for being so shallow as to desire someone to find him physically appealing….but he honestly didn't think he could help it….receiving so much wanted attention after so many years of unwanted attention was like being a deaf person hearing music for the first time...completely new and woefully shocking… it was addicting.
Severus hoisted him up and Harry didn't hesitate to wrap his legs and arms around the man, cementing his allure with a rather dangerous kiss and fisting his hand into the hair at the back of Severus's neck.
"I can not have you that way, not yet, not now-" and Harry heard the almost whine in the man's voice, the regret, and he wished he had the ability to sooth Severus's worries. To make him forget everything else and just do the thing they both wanted. But Harry was not the type of person to push someone further than they were ready to go, at least...not in this particular area. As sure as he was that he was finally ready, that he wanted to join with this man before he was back in school and such a thing at that time would be impossible, he would just have to wait and so he brought his lips to the man's ear and whispered, "Then make me a promise professor...that you will give me a present on my birthday."
The man took a deep breath and leaned into him, his face burying itself in Harry's neck, "I can't promise-"
"Promise me, or I won't meditate while you are away."
"You wicked youth." Severus groaned and Harry chuckled lightly.
"I want it to be you professor, even if we don't make it through this, even if what we have started we can't finish...I just want it to happen with you. I trust you...could you try to trust me?"
Severus seemed to hesitate, his hold tightening as he brought his lips to Harry's and swallowed, "I will try." he promised, though he seemed reluctant to do even that. However, Harry knew that was a rather large step for the man, considering his background, considering his position as a spy...considering everything...so he took it with a grain of salt and when he opened his mouth to allow the man's tongue inside, a small part of him felt victorious.
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Severus groaned out harshly as he lay on the bed, one hand fisting the sheets, the other gripping rather ardently into Harry's hair. The boy had dragged out this little session for nearly an hour. Getting him so close to tipping over and then slowing down, making his climb a slow and painful build to completion. Up and down he went, his brow coated in sweat, his own body trembling and despite how many orders or commands he gave for the boy to finish him off Harry was not obeying and it was driving Severus wild.
He had tried to gain some semblance of control back, trying to guide the boy's bobbing head and the speed to which Harry was performing but after twenty minutes of said power struggle Severus found it harder and harder to claim control. By now, his body was near putty, his breathing ragged pants and his mind a soupy mixture of desperate need to finish and intoxicated chaos.
Knowing what the boy wanted from him Severus had managed to remain stubborn but he feared he was losing and soon enough the things Harry wanted to hear would spill from his lips despite his determination not to do so, "Just say it for me once, Sir….I just want to hear it once and then-"
"Potter, I will not...aah!" the man near yelled as the boy ducked back down and started to suck hard enough to make Severus go blind, "Oh God's!"
Harry stopped again and smiled, "Please...just beg a little...we are running out of time and I really want to hear-"
"You do not simply...ask...someone politely to beg Potter...and even if you were demanding it I wouldn't-"
"Beg me." Harry said sharply, a hand coming up to grip his length and squeeze, "Aah! You little-"
"Beg me for it or I will get up and walk away...I won't finish you…"
Severus gritted his teeth and felt his cheeks flare red as his frustration mounted and his hold in the boy's hair tightened, "Potter!" the man barked.
Harry's face melted to one of utter defeat and Severus felt his breath catch in his throat, he leaned forward and came just an inch from the man's face, "Please, sir? Please beg me?"
Severus had never seen someone beg in an attempt to get someone else to beg, and he found those big green eyes urging him to comply near irresistible and he felt his heart stutter and his lips opened just a bit, "Please, oh god please beg me….I want to hear how you sound when you do...I want to know I brought it from your lips...beg me, please beg me Severus." Harry urged and the older wizard swallowed as his arousal flared and when Harry sank back down to wrap those lips around his length and suck painfully sweet at his length Severus gripped the sheets tighter than he had before and his mouth opened against his will, "God's please, finish me, please let me cum!"
And Harry sank his mouth down, Severus's length hitting the back of the boys throat and instantly he fell over. Yelling out strangled cries of ecstasy as he spilled his seed down the back of Harry's throat.
He lay there panting for minutes after, eyes wide and staring at the ceiling, his breathing eventually evening out as Harry came up to lay next to him and rest a hand on his chest, I'm sorry, sir. I'm still new to this and I just wanted to try-"
"You will be the death of me boy." Severus snapped gently as he pulled the boy closer and kissed his brow.
Harry couldn't help the small smirk that spread across his face, "And you mine, sir."
A/N: okay, please R&R and let me know what you thought. The next chapter will be our descent into the main plot.