(A/N: Oh I hate to be that guy right now, but I am going to be that guy right now. For those of you that cried during the previous chapter. Allow me to make it worse. (clears throat and sings) Time rolls by the clock don't stop. I wish I had a few more drops of the good stuff, the good times, but they just keep on ticking right on by like it ain't nothing, I wish I had me a pause button. Moments like those, lord knows I'd hit it. Give myself five more minutes.
Isn't that right, Hajime? XD
Right, that was dickish, but considering we're dealing with Junko this chapter, as Monokuma, I may as well set the god damn tone. That being said, those of you with good memories may recall that I said that the previous chapter would set the stage for the rest of the arc. This isn't the last we'll see of the Kamukura Project subplot this arc. And yes, subplot. You think I forgot about the whole "Noah trying to grab our bodies" plot. Ha! I'm an experienced writer. I don't forget things that easily.
Now sit back, relax and do your best to enjoy the next two chapters without sitting on pins and god damn needles. Though, this is Danganronpa so I don't know how easy that will be for a lot of you XD. Have fun, everyone!)
As the only two to fall directly next to each other, Seto and Mokuba Kaiba were wandering Noah's virtual landscape, with the former less than pleased. He had had just about enough of Noah's little forced trip down his own memory lane and he wanted answers. Who was Noah? How did he know so much about Kaiba? Why the Big 5? Why was Noah hiding? What was his true ultimate goal? What exactly did Noah have against Kaiba to go through all of this trouble? The questions kept piling up and it was frustrating Kaiba to no end.
Mokuba took a mildly more optimistic approach, but even by mild standards the increase in optimism may as well have been ice cold. He just wasn't acting surly about the idea of being stuck here. He constantly talked about finding a way out, rather than wanting to take his boot and shove it so far up Noah's pants that trying to remove it would expose his sock.
As the two now wandered what felt like the same virtual forest where they bared witness to Kaiba's virtual doppelganger get wasted by Total Defense Shogun, they heard a strange sound.
"Hey, Seto, doesn't it sound like someone's chewing meat?" Mokuba asked.
Kaiba stopped his pace and listened for the sound. Yup. He could hear it too.
"Think one of the others found virtual food and are eating it?" Mokuba asked.
"I don't think the probability for that is high, but whatever it is, it's far more interesting than my nostalgic past," Kaiba said, knowing Noah was listening.
"Oh, I'm boring you, am I Seto?" Noah asked from the safety of his chair, unheard by anyone. "Well I won't be for long. Once you've seen the sins of your stepfather and your history, you'll understand why no one deserves to run KaibaCorp, but me."
He watched Kaiba and Mokuba approach the chewing noise, only to be just as confused as the Kaiba brothers. What all three bore witness to were black and white bears eating the corpse of another monster, but they totally weren't pandas. They were explicitly black on one side and white on the other and far too lean in build to be pandas.
"I think I'm going to be sick," Mokuba said, covering his mouth. However, his spoken sentence alerted the bears to his and his brother's presence and they turned their heads to look at them. Their mouths were split with one side being normal and the other side having more sharp teeth than a great white shark. Also, one eye was beady, the other was jagged, large, and red.
"Run for it!" Mokuba shouted, running past his brother. However, knowing how bears hunted, and knowing he was faster than Mokuba, Kaiba grabbed his little brother by the back of his jacket and threw Mokuba up onto his back, piggybacking him away from the ferocious bears.
What are those things? Noah wondered. They're no duel monster I've seen before.
As Kaiba ran, the bears slowly started to gain on him.
Oh no! Mokuba thought. I'm slowing Seto down. Gotta think fast. I have to do something. He looked around and noticed a low hanging tree branch. "Seto!" he pointed. "head that way!"
Kaiba ran in the direction his little brother pointed and didn't notice until he was at least 50 feet farther when Mokuba was off his back. "Mokuba? Mokuba!" Kaiba shouted, only for one of the bears to lunge at him.
With finely honed instincts and martial arts finesse, Kaiba dodged the incoming bear attack and ran back in the direction he came, finding two more bears clawing at Mokuba scrambled up a tree.
"Seto! Run and get help!" Mokuba shouted. "I'll be safe up here!"
"You don't know that!" Kaiba shouted. If there was ever a chink in Kaiba's stoic armor, it was Mokuba's life in danger.
"If you carry me, we'll both get eaten. I'll be fine."
But, of course, fate and Mokuba never really got along well. Within seconds, a loud sound like a jet engine roared over Kaiba's head and a net was thrown around Mokuba as a tinier black and white bear, adorned with a jetpack and a gas mask, carted him off faster than Kaiba could run.
"Get my back here with my brother, you sick freak!" Kaiba shouted, the adrenaline in his body propelling him forward and around the bears that had previously been herding Mokuba.
"Mokuba!" Kaiba shouted, running after him. "Mokuba!" He shouted again, arm stretched out all the way to reach for his little brother.
In desperation, Kaiba leapt onto the nearest tree limb that would support his weight and leapt with all his might at the net. He wasn't even close. He didn't even have the hopeful moment of the net slipping through his grasp. The bear kidnapping his brother was far beyond his reach and retreating fast into a weird portal.
"Noah, you bastard! Give me back my little brother or you're going to regret it!"
"Aw, what's the matter, Seto?" Noah asked, leaning in his chair, unheard by the person he was addressing. "Feeling lonely?" I say that, but even I don't know what just happened, Noah thought.
Suddenly, one of his screens turned hazy with static. "Is this…" there was more loud static. "Is this thing on?" A distorted voice asked.
"Who are you? Show yourself!" Noah shouted. "How dare you interfere with my cyber paradise."
The static turned into an image of a pixelated face with pixelated green hair and pixelated green eyes seeming to be sitting in a pixelated wheelchair. The resolution was so horrible, even early YouTube would've seemed like Optimum High-Def. However, Noah believed this was on purpose. Tenting his fingers and bringing his thumbs to his chest, he addressed this newcomer.
A cute, distorted voice simply said. "Don't worry. I'll deliver Moki-Moki straight to you, Young Master Kaiba."
Noah grew increasingly annoyed, "I'll say it again, who are you?"
"I'm...maybe I'm a friend. It's up to you."
"You have something against Seto Kaiba?" Noah inquired.
The pixelated person laughed. "No, silly. I just love despair. So I'm pitching in."
"I assume you get something out of this," Noah said.
The voice only giggled. "Teeheehee. Keep your eye on the monitor now, silly," the transmission ended, but Noah took heed to what it said. He went back to observing Kaiba.
"Mokuba! Mokuba!" Kaiba shouted, his cries of concern for his little brother growing louder and louder and more panicked with every shout. Noah, I swear, when I get my hands on you, Kaiba thought, clutching his fingers in front of his face as though he intended to wring them around an invisible neck in front of him in a manner of seconds.
"Ahhhhhhhhh, dear Kaiba. You must be feeling sooooooo apprehensive without your little brother," the most annoying voice in the world called out to him.
Kaiba, ignoring the annoyance just wanted to know who had the audacity to interrupt his missing brother crisis. "Who are you?" He asked, spinning around. "Show yourself."
"Down here."
Kaiba, being around 6 feet tall, failed to notice the barely 1 foot off the ground black and white bear now at his feet. "Another bear?"
"I'm not just any bear. I'm Monokuma!"
Kaiba looked less than impressed by the creature's intention to wow him with its overexaggerated emphasis on its speech patterns. "Riveting. Step aside, unless you want me to step on you."
"I'm sorry, Seto. I'm afraid I can't let you do that," Monokuma said in a monotone, doing his best HAL-9000 impression. Kaiba just stared at the ugly bear, unamused. Monokuma looked visibly annoyed. "Sheesh. Tough crowd. All right, how about this? I, Monokuma, challenge you, Seto Kaiba, to a duel. If you win, I'll tell you where I've taken Mokuba. But if I win," the bear put its paws over its mouth. "Puhu puhuhuhuhuhu, Noah gets your body."
Kaiba contemplated this. On the one hand, he had a right mind to kick this annoying little piece of trash into orbit. On the other though, he had no leads on Mokuba. It was worth the risk. After all, Seto Kaiba didn't lose. At least, that's what Kaiba told himself, ignoring his imperfect track record.
"Well then, if you're working for Noah," Kaiba said, pointing an accusatory finger at Monokuma. "Bring it on, all one foot of you, or should I count your ears for an extra two inches?"
"Ooooh, sassy." Monokuma held up his claws and looked visibly irritated as part of his face turned red. "Sorry, to burst your bubble, but there's only room enough for one jokester in this duel, and the spot's already taken by yours truly," Monokuma made a pose as a flower appeared over his cheek and then vanished like a power point effect. "The adorable mascot."
"There's only one mascot in duel monsters, you little freak and that's the Blue-Eyes White Dragon!" Kaiba shouted. "And I'm about to feed you to it!" Kaiba made a duel disk appear and activated it. Monokuma also had a duel disk, appropriately sized for his much smaller body.
The card database scrolled in front of both as they picked their decks, hand to paw.
"So, who are you really?" Kaiba asked as he picked card after card, already knowing what he wanted and keeping a mental checklist.
"Mua? I already told you, I'm Monokuma!" The creature said happily.
Kaiba sighed. Talking to this creature, it seemed, was pointless. "So, then you aren't one of my former associates," he said as he shoved his deck into the proper slot on the duel disk.
"Puhuhu, I'll let you come to your own conclusions."
"Hmph, unless someone suffered catastrophic brain damage, I would never hire an employee with such an annoying laugh."
"Hey! Hey! How dare you say that about my handsome chortle!" Monokuma exclaimed, looking visibly annoyed.
Kaiba only smirked and put his thumb and forefinger to his chin, firing back with, "If you consider that, handsome, then I must be Paul Monet," Kaiba responded.
"Oooooh, getting cultural are we? Sorry, but I don't think the audience is going to get that joke."
"What audience? It's just you and me here. Although, I suppose Noah is watching."
"Yeah, you'd like to think that, wouldn't you?" Monokuma asked.
Kaiba only rolled his eyes. Here he was, the World Champion, dueling a foot tall bear with a more annoying mouth than that western comic book anti-hero in the red spandex.
"Why don't you go ahead and choose your deck master. I'm self-representing," Monokuma said. "So I can skip this part."
"I choose this monster!" Kaiba said, holding up the card above his head. "Meet the Diamond Dragon, Hyozanryu!" The massive, diamond plated, red bellied, nose-horned dragon appeared and crouched behind Kaiba.
"Ooooh, interesting choice. I expected Blue-Eyes, or even Vorse Raider from you before that one. Or maybe even Kaiser Seahorse or Lord of Dragons."
"Because you're not worth my Blue-Eyes," Kaiba said, grinning satanically, "And I intend to crush you with every forceful ounce of muscle I have."
"What's that? Like a whole pound with your build?" Monokuma shot back, chuckling. Kaiba glared. "Careful now, glaring gives you wrinkles."
"I'm going first," Kaiba said and drew the top card of his deck as, unbeknownst to him, a showdown between hope and despair had just begun. He looked at the card he drew and smirked. "Speak the devil's name and he shall appear. You wanted to see this monster so bad? Here it is! I summon Vorse Raider!" The 1900 attack point beat stick towered over Monokuma, snorting as it gnashed its teeth menacingly at him.
"Ooooooh, scary, but since you summoned a monster, allow me to explain my deck master special ability. Any and all monsters on your side of the field lose 500 attack points. After all, I'm just too cute to attack," Monokuma said, swinging his little butt back and forth and smiling like an internet troll.
"If that's your ability, fine, but you have all the physical appeal of a teratoma," Kaiba said as his Vorse Raider's attack points fell to 1400.
"Again with the smart jokes. Just say something classy like an orangutan's butthole. Of which I most certainly bear no resemblance to, thank you very much!" Monokuma exclaimed and then said much more politely, "It's just an example."
"Maybe," Kaiba smirked. "But the fact that you comprehend my so-called "smart jokes" tell me a bit about who you are."
Monokuma did nothing except hold a neutral pose.
"Don't think I won't find out who you are!" Kaiba shouted. "I don't care who you are. No one kidnaps my little brother and gets away with it!"
"Whatever, Ebenezer Scrooge. You doing anything else?"
"Oh, Charles Dickens. I didn't know you were so cultured."
"Hey! At people know Charles Dickens, Mister Paul Monet!"
"Whatever," Kaiba grumbled. "I place one card face-down and end my turn."
"Very well. Class is in session now, and it's time for Monokuma to give a very special lesson." Monokuma said and drew a card.
"You know something's bothering me," Kaiba said. "How are you holding a hand of cards with such stubby paws."
Monokuma extended his claws and looked visibly pissed off. "Hey! In the other chapter, a penguin held cards with its flippers! It's virtual reality, not everything has to make friggin sense!"
Kaiba didn't know what Monokuma meant by other chapter, so he focused on the bear's other statement. "Now that part about virtual reality is the first thing I've agreed with you this entire time," he said, chuckling. He then glared. "Let's keep it that way."
Monokuma muttered to himself before gathering his wits about him and declaring, "I play 7 Colored Fish!"
The rainbow trout appeared, its mouth tusks looking sharp and pointy. "Oh! That's right! I almost forgot. You see, Herr Kaiba, with my deck master special ability, not only do your monsters lose 500 attack points, but all of mine gain 500 attack points."
"What?!" Kaiba looked visibly shaken. 500 of his own attack points he could handle, but his opponent also gaining that same amount? That put 1000 attack points between his monsters and Monokuma's monsters. It practically crippled his deck. He watched as 7 Colored Fish's attack points went from 1800 to a whopping 2300.
"Oh, I do so love that look in your eye. You seem to be feeling it, the helpless feeling known as despair," Monokuma said, barely able to contain his amusement. "7 Colored Fish! Attack Vorse Raider!"
"I don't think so!" Kaiba shouted. "I activate my face-down card! Shrink!"
"Eh?" Monokuma sounded rather surprised as he watched 7 Colored Fish shrink down to his size as its attack points fell all the way to 1150.
"Now, Vorse Raider! Counterattack!" Kaiba shouted as his now massive monster sliced the multi-colored salmon to shreds.
"How could you do that to my wife?!" Monokuma exclaimed as his life points fell to 3750.
"Your…what?" Kaiba asked, dumbfounded.
Monokuma grinned. "Yes, you see, she was quite the…catch." Upon making the terrible joke, Monokuma even got out a tiny set of drums and a cymbal from who knows where and rang each instrument once, ending with the cymbal bash. Kaiba just stared at the ursine, completely unamused. "Wow. Really tough crowd. Well, whatever. I end my turn, I guess."
Kaiba smirked in triumph. "How sad. Here I thought you might be an adversary worth crushing, but you're just an annoying little pest standing between me and my brother! Prepare to taste the fury of this monster! I tribute my Vorse Raider to summon Kaiser Glider, in attack mode!" The 2400 attack point, glowing dragon lost 500 of its attack points, bringing it down to 1900. "Kaiser Glider, attack! Make that bear suffer!"
Monokuma leapt and shivered as the big scary dragon drew near to munch on him. "Oh no, whatever shall I do? I'm just a bear with no cards on the field!" Monokuma exclaimed, only to quickly gain his composure and his not-red eye flashed. "Psyche!"
Suddenly, a wall of Kuribohs appeared in front of Monokuma, blocking Kaiser Glider from hitting him. Kaiba didn't only looked pissed, the noises he was making were better suited to a woodchuck having a seizure.
"Ahhhh, saved by the balls. Isn't that how the saying goes?"
Kaiba didn't dignify Monokuma with a response, only teeth clenched growling. Monokuma had, inadvertently from Kaiba's standpoint, given him PTSD flashbacks of Yugi's usage of the damned puffball. From Monokuma's perspective…no that was totally on purpose, if his laughter was any indication.
"Did you honestly think I'd leave myself wide open without some sort of backup plan? Give me some credit. I am getting all of your smart jokes after all."
"I am going to stuff you and mount you when this is over."
Monokuma held his paws over his stomach, making the heart pound sound effect audibly with a "Ba-bum." He blushed and forcibly sweated before saying. "Oooooh, mounting? At least buy me dinner first you mad dueling stallion."
Kaiba said nothing.
"Right. Right. No sense of humor," Monokuma said. Kaiba was going to let the bear have that one. If he didn't talk, the creature was far less annoying.
"Tell me, Kaiba, do you know what happens when you threaten a cub?" Monokuma asked.
If I don't respond to it, maybe it'll just stop talking.
"Man, take all the fun out of it. Put the fun in camps like some sort of fun nazi."
"Get to the god damn point!" Kaiba shouted.
Monokuma sighed. "So much for the Jurassic Park reference. Really, Kaiba, show some class. You're a celebrity."
"I'm plenty classy, thank you, unlike a four-year-old's interpretation of a panda bear."
"Ten year old's interpretation, thank you very much! Now then, as I was saying, I summon Mother Grizzly to the field, in attack mode!"
The giant blue grizzly bear appeared with a roaring growl. Thanks to Monokuma's ability, it went from having 1400 attack points to have 1900 attack points, putting it even with Kaiba's Kaiser Glider."
"And now for the Double KO!" Monokuma declared. "Mommy, destroy the scary dragon for me!"
"Hmph," Kaiba merely smirked, watching Mother Grizzly slash Kaiser Glider across the face, only to have Kaiser Glider's jaw crunch down on its skull. "Sorry, but Kaiser Glider can't be destroyed when engaged in battle with a monster of equal attack points."
"Mommy, no!" Monokuma exclaimed. "Just kidding! I have no parents! And when Mother Grizzly is destroyed, I can pick any water monster in my deck with 1500 attack points or less and summon it to the field. So say hello to a carnivorous friend of mine: Piercing Moray!" A fanged eel with a horn on its head appeared. It had 1500 attack points, which instantly jacked up to 2000. "And now comes the fun part, Piercing Moray attack!"
And yet, Kaiba still didn't seem bothered by this turn of events. With a simple smirk, he gave a determined stare and barked out, "Hyozanryu! Diamond Barricade!"
Hyozanryu flew out from the deck master zone and crouched down in defense position, putting itself between Monokuma's moray and Kaiba's Kaiser Glider. "Whoa!" Monokuma exclaimed as Hyozanryu's diamond plated tail, batted Piercing Moray away, bringing Monokuma's life points down to 2950.
"Hyozanryu's diamond body is good for one thing above all else, defense," Kaiba said. "And when it sees its kin or allies in danger, it, by command will swoop in and defend my monsters, provided that they're a spellcaster or dragon-type monster. It swoops in from the deck master zone and redirects any attack to itself as though it were in defense position. I can only do this once per turn, but it's worth it. Additionally, even if you could destroy Hyozanryu, he can't be destroyed in defense position if he was called to the field via his deck master special ability. And, regardless of how he got to the field, he can return to my side in the deck master zone, where he belongs, at any time during my turn, even if I summoned him to attack you."
"Oho! Clever, clever. That's going to make things mightily annoying."
"Hello pot, this is the kettle, you're black."
"Heh, touché," Monokuma agreed. "Very well, Mr. Kaiba, you win this round, but I'll be back next turn. I'll just set this little ditty face-down and call it a day for now," Monokuma said, putting a new spell/trap card face-down.
Kaiba drew the top card of his deck. "Yeah, how about no?" he asked, rhetorically. "Mystic Space Typhoon!"
The spell card ripped into Monokuma's spell card, ticking him off, as evident by the reddened color in his face and his sour expression.
"Hyozanryu, return!" Kaiba shouted. The dragon took to the sky and did a half-banked loop back to Kaiba's side, landing proudly behind him.
"Return? What is this, Pokémon?"
Kaiba did not dignify Monokuma with a response. He just continued his turn.
"I summon Slate Warrior in attack position!" Kaiba declared, bringing the strange bald, blue-headed fiend monster with 1900 attack points to the field, but it immediately fell to 1400 attack points.
"Slate Warrior!" Kaiba shouted. "Attack Piercing Moray!"
The monster did as Kaiba commanded being instantly destroyed as its punch failed to impact the sea creature.
Kaiba's life points then fell to 3400.
"Uh huh. And the point of that was…?" Monokuma asked, only to watch Piercing Moray's attack points drop. "Wait, what?"
"Kaiser Glider! Attack! Destroy Piercing Moray!"
Kaiser Glider swooped in and grabbed Piercing Moray in its fangs, biting it in half and shattering the hologram, bringing Monokuma's life points down further to 2550.
"Fortunately for you," Kaiba said. "Your punishment is at an end for now. I end my turn."
"Oh you're asking for it, bub," Monokuma said, holding up his claws. "Cause see here? I'm the best there is at what I do. And what I do isn't very nice."
"You're right. It's profoundly annoying," Kaiba stated.
"Oooh, savage. Pfft, not. That comeback wouldn't faze a five-year-old."
"Then you must be bawling your eyes out," Kaiba retorted.
"Okay now that one actually stung. Words hurt, you know."
Kaiba now gave no response.
"There's the silent treatment," Monokuma said and drew the top card of his deck. "Let's see now. What magnificent ways do I have of killing you."
"Gee, I wonder. Is it another bear pun or a fish?"
"Huh? Nah, I'm all out of those, but I got this," Monokuma said, slapping a monster onto the card reader. "Since I have two water monsters in my graveyard, Piercing Moray and Mother Grizzly, I can remove them from the game to special summon this creature. Say hello to Fenrir!" A howling, blue furred, red-eyed wolf appeared with 1400 attack points that surged to 1900 thanks to Monokuma's special ability. "But wait, there's more! We also have a special on beef today! Say hello to Great Angus!"
A hulking pink beast appeared with 1800 attack points that were increased to 2300. It snorted at Kaiba.
"But wait, glare at me coldly now and I'll throw in a Burden of the Mighty absolutely free! This spell card lowers the attack points of all monsters by 100 for each of their level stars."
Kaiba only snarled as Kaiser Glider lost an extra 600 attack points.
"Right then, time to make this duel more bear friendly. Fenrir! Attack!"
"Hyozanryu! Diamond Barricade!" Kaiba exclaimed, blocking the attack with his dragon and forcing Monokuma to fall to 1650 life points.
"Meh, that wolf did its job. It created the opening I needed. Great Angus, destroy Kaiser Glider!"
Great Angus slammed its skull into Kaiba's dragon, dealing 1000 life points of battle damage, making the score 1650 to 2600 in Kaiba's favor.
"Kaiser Glider's special ability activates. Since it was destroyed in battle, I can return one monster to your hand, and I choose Great Angus."
Monokuma put the monster back in his hand. "Boy, you must have some beef with my beef!"
Just ignore it, Kaiba. The problem will go away soon.
"Just ignore it, Kaiba. The problem will go away soon."
Kaiba looked at Monokuma oddly.
"Oh your face says everything. And it also tells me that you're trying to do mental math in an attempt to try and take out Fenrir, but I think you're gonna find yourself hard pressed to do that. Any new monster you summon is going to lose 900 attack points if it's a 4-star monster and Hyozanryu only has that many attack points, so it's only good for its deck master ability at this point. Let's face it, you're pretty much screwed."
"I decide when and when not I'm out of options you abomination of nature!" Kaiba shouted, drawing the top card off his deck. "For now, I summon my Ultimate Beast! First, I activate White Dragon Ritual! This allows me to summon Paladin White Dragon."
"Oh my, what a rare knight in shining armor," Monokuma cooed.
"Don't get too attached. He isn't staying long."
"Yup, he's just the opening act. Watch ladies and gentlemen across the land as Paladin White Dragon is sacrificed to bring out his lord and master and Kaiba's wet dream fantasy, the Blue Eyes White Dragon."
As Blue-Eyes roared triumphantly, Kaiba glared at Monokuma. "I absolutely despise you."
"Who me?" Monokuma asked. "But how can you? I'm just so cute and adorable."
"I've seen sand paper more attractive than you!" Kaiba shouted.
"See? There you go, that's much better!"
Kaiba, ignoring Monokuma, declared, "I activate the spell card Burst Stream of Destruction! This allows me to destroy every monster you have on your side of the field because I control Blue-Eyes White Dragon!"
Blue-Eyes blasted Monokuma's Fenrir into oblivion and then remained in attack mode with only 1700 attack points thanks to both Burden of the Mighty and Monokuma's ability.
"Since Blue-Eyes couldn't attack anyway this turn, it was the perfect opportunity to use a card like that. Now you're wide open for my next play."
"So you'd like to think," Monokuma said as he drew the top card of his deck. "First, I play Great Angus again." The pink beast appeared once more with its supercharged 2300 attack points. "And next, I play this card: Wonder Balloons!"
"Balloons, really?" Kaiba asked with a glazed look.
"These are special balloons. For you see, by discarding cards from my hand, I create a balloon," Monokuma said, demonstrating this by discarding the only other card in his hand. "And in doing so, for every balloon I've created, all of your monsters lose 300 more attack points."
"That's…"
"Soon, attacking will be completely pointless," Monokuma said as Blue-Eyes White Dragon lost another 300 attack points, bringing the once proud beast down to only 1400 attack points. "Isn't it fun how I've basically taken away your pwecious strength, Kaiba? You're the kind of guy that does nothing but rely on big numbers and now look at you, weak and helpless before my spell cards. Puhuhu puhuhuhuhuhuhuhu. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fortunately for you, without an extra monster on the field, I can't attack a dragon without pissing off your deck master, so I guess it's your turn for now."
Kaiba had never been so happy to have his turn. Although he had 0 cards in his hand, he already knew the card he needed to draw to turn this duel back around. He wasn't worried about drawing it. After all, he was Seto Kaiba, the world champion. Good draws came naturally to him.
Kaiba activated the card he drew, declaring, "I play Card of Demise! This allows me to keep drawing cards until I'm holding 5 cards, provided I discarded my entire hand 5 turns later. But I plan to end this duel before then. First, I play Wing Beat of Giant Dragon!" Kaiba declared, activating a second spell card. "Now, by returning Blue-Eyes White Dragon to my hand, I destroy every last one of your spell and trap cards on the field. So no more Wonder Balloons and no more Burden of the Mighty."
The fearsome gale sent Monokuma tumbling back several times before the tiny ursine creature got up and looked significantly agitated. "So what? You just disposed of your only monster and Great Angus still has 2300 attack points thanks to my Deck master special ability."
"Right, your monster. I've already got another spell card for dealing with him. I activate Enemy Controller! By sacrificing 1000 life points, I can activate this card and equip it to your monster. Now, by entering the code, up, left, down, right, A," Kaiba stated as the buttons responded accordingly on the controller, "Your monster is destroyed!"
A cord plugged itself into Great Angus and sent voltage through itself, causing the monster to go boom! Kaiba's life points then fell to 1500.
"Well, this could be…problematic," Monokuma said with a wide-eyed stare.
Kaiba looked at the field and at his hand. "You're right, it will be," Kaiba stated. "Hyozanryu, go!"
"What?!" Monokuma wasn't expecting that.
Kaiba's deck master stormed the field and attacked with its Diamond Breath attack, bringing Monokuma all the way down to a mere 50 life points.
"Lastly, I'll place one card face-down on the field," Kaiba state, setting a trap. "It's your move. Make it count."
"Don't mind if I do!" Monokuma exclaimed as he drew the top card of his deck. "Cause I'm about to give you a lesson in Dark World cooking." Monokuma pulled a chef's hat from seemingly out of nowhere and adopted a faux French accent. "Bon appetit, monsieur Kaiba. Today we shall be serving ze Mad Lobster in butter sauce with 500 extra attack points." Monokuma summoned an actual lobster monster, but with a skull face and extra limbs by its head instead of the prawn head anyone familiar with lobster would be used to. It had 1700 attack points, which increased to 2200 thanks to Monokuma's ability. "And now we, oh screw it," Monokuma said, throwing the chef's hat at the ground, "Mad Lobster, kick his deck master's ass and finish this."
Mad Lobster dashed towards Kaiba's Hyozanryu.
"Heh, you'd like for me to lose that easily, wouldn't you?" Kaiba smirked. "I activate Negate Attack!"
Monokuma's monster's attack was reflected off a swirling portal that appeared in front of Kaiba's monster.
"Yeah, probably should've seen that coming," Monokuma said. "Can't blame a bear for trying."
"Ugh, that's now the second time I'm forced to agree with you. Great," Kaiba said, looking pale. He would've done the same in Monokuma's position. And no, that didn't make him happy. Because now he was forced to acknowledge that this tiny ass bear had some semblance of skill.
"Well, whatever, make your move already!" Monokuma exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air. "I want my next one soon!"
"Right," Kaiba said and drew. "I call Hyozanryu back to his deck master zone!" Kaiba exclaimed as the monster left the battlefield. "And next I place one monster in face-down defense position. Make my day, furball."
"Oooh, scary. But, as we often say in the media, be careful what you wish for," Monokuma said politely, and then said much more threateningly, "You may just get it!" He drew and stated, "I activate this spell card: Fairy Meteor Crush! This allows me to deal damage to you even when your monsters are in defense position."
Kaiba said nothing. "Are you going to attack or not."
"You're darn right I am. Mad Lobster! Attack! Crispy Crusty Claws!"
Mad Lobster darted forward and swung its claws down at Kaiba's monster, revealing good ol' Cyber Jar.
"Huh? Well…that can't be good. Oh well, you're still gonna take serious damage for that one."
"Worth it," Kaiba said as his life points fell all the way down to 200.
Cyber Jar's effect activated as Mad Lobster was destroyed sending it and the spell card it was equipped with to the graveyard. Monokuma and Kaiba then drew 5 cards apiece. "Oh Ohhhh!" Monokuma looked most pleased with his hand. "Yeah, that Cyber Jar of yours just backfired! Say hello to Giant Rat, Hysteric Fairy, Fire Kraken, and a personal favorite, the Jerry Beans Man!"
All four monsters hit the table with 1900, 2300, 2100 and 2250 attack points respectively.
Kaiba looked at the cards he drew. He had been hoping to outdraw Monokuma on monsters, but it seemed like luck wasn't on his side today. "I play Twin-Headed Behemoth, La Jinn the Mystical Genie of the Lamp, Saggi the Dark Clown and Mystic Horseman all in defense mode!" Kaiba declared as the monsters remained crouched. I could call for Hyozanryu to protect Saggi, La Jinn or Twin Headed Behemoth, but depending on what that last card is that he drew, I can't afford the risk. If it was something like Rush Recklessly, Jerry Beans Man or Hysteric Fairy could wipe out Kaiba's deck master and Fire Kraken had enough attack points to at least tie the battle.
Unfortunately, Monokuma seemed to catch onto the same idea and while it wasn't Rush Recklessly in his hand, he decided to play up the bluff. "Puhuhu. Puhuhuhuhuhuhu! Go my minions, strike!"
Kaiba's monsters were destroyed one by one, leaving Monokuma with four fearsome beasts on the field. "And just so you don't get any funny ideas about picking me off with a burn spell," Monokuma said. "I activate Hysteric Fairy's special ability and wave bye-bye to Fire Kraken and Giant Rat to gain 1000 life points."
Both monsters went to the graveyard and Monokuma went back up to 1050 life points.
"That's fine. I still get to keep twin Headed Behemoth in defense mode thanks to its special ability. Better luck next time."
"Oh? Have some sort of plan in mind? Were you afraid I would destroy your deck master?" Monokuma asked, panting and turning red.
"I'm going to enjoy killing you," Kaiba said. "My turn!" He drew the top card of his deck. "I activate Pot of Greed in order to draw two cards!" Kaiba declared, playing the card and then performing the appropriate action. "Next! I activate Cost Down!" Kaiba said, playing a personal favorite spell card of his. "This cuts down the levels of all the monsters on my field and in my hand by two. "This lets me sacrifice my only monster, Twin-Headed Behemoth, to bring back Blue-Eyes White Dragon!"
Blue-Eyes arrived on the battlefield with a loud roar at 2500 attack points strong because of Monokuma.
"Even with his attack point reduction, he's still strong enough to destroy your monster!" Kaiba shouted. "Blue-Eyes! Attack now! Destroy Hysteric Fairy! White Lightning!"
Blue-Eyes' lightning breath penetrated straight through Hysteric Fairy, nearly hitting Monokuma with the residual blast as the tiny bear hopped to one side in fright, losing 200 life points in the process. He now had 850 left.
"Now, I'll set a card and end my turn," Kaiba stated.
Monokuma drew the top card of his deck. "Puhuhu, ah Kaiba. I'm so glad you decided to play it safe because now not only do I get to kill you, I get to destroy your favorite monster at the same time. I equip Jerry Beans Man with Axe of Despair!"
Kaiba's eyes shrunk in momentarily. That's what he had!
"With one thousand more attack points in Jerry Beans Man's grasp," Monokuma stated as his monster now held the axe. "Not even your deck master can prevent this!" he shouted, his voice somehow becoming layered with sinister darkness, dropping several octives.
I didn't want to have to use this so soon, but I have no choice. "I activate Burst Breath!" Kaiba declared, revealing a trap card depicting a golden dragon firing golden flames. "This trap card allows me to tribute one dragon-type monster in order to destroy every monster on the field with defense points lower than my monster's attack. And since Jerry Beans Man has no defense points, well," Kaiba smirked, "I've always been a fan of roasted beans every now and again."
"Leave the jokes to me, you unfunny hack!" Monokuma exclaimed, irritated only to fall on his back when Blue-Eyes was converted into a golden flame which destroyed Jerry Beans Man and the residual flames almost hit Monokuma. "Phew, close one. Guess I'll just have to summon this little guy to the field," Monokuma said, summoning Turtle Tiger, a shelled, blue tiger monster. It normally only had 1000 attack points, but it now had 1500 thanks to Monokuma.
"Oh look, another freak of nature. You two must get along so well together."
"He's my cousin," Monokuma said, keeping up the snappy banter.
Kaiba felt no point in acknowledging that statement and just began his turn. With no monsters to summon, he had to think of something. Hyozanryu couldn't protect him from direct attacks and while he could summon it to destroy Turtle Tiger, if Monokuma played any monster with base attack 1200 or greater, Kaiba was completely screwed given the cards in his hand. If I want to win, I need a monster with 2000 base attack points in one move just to take out Turtle Tiger. He looked at the sole card in his hand: Thunder Dragon. And this is useless to me, right now. Do I even… Kaiba wracked his brain. He smiled satisfyingly. Yeah, there's one card in my deck that can end this duel right here. Right now. I just have to draw it.
"Oh? Oh? Is Seto Kaiba having a moment?" Monokuma asked. "Should I get the video camera?"
"Oh I'm having a moment," Kaiba said, basking in his own ego. "I'm savoring the moment where I finally beat you, you annoying piece of garbage!" Kaiba drew the top card of his deck, simply knowing what it would be just because he was Seto Kaiba. "I summon to the field, Blade Knight!"
The blue armored warrior monster took to the field with 1600 attack points.
"Heh, you think that scares me. Here's a reminder, bub, it loses 500 attack points. It's not strong enough to…huh?" Monokuma watched as Blade Knight only lost 100 attack points, evening it out with Turtle Tiger.
Kaiba showed the one card in his hand to Monokuma. "I only have 1 card in my hand so Blade Knight gains an additional 400 attack points, almost completely cancelling your deck master special ability. And that's not all, since you only have one monster on the field and nothing face-down, I'm also summoning to the field Hyozanryu!"
"Okay um, um…huh. Okay this uh, this does not look good here."
"Blade Knight, attack Turtle Tiger! Sacrifice yourself for my glorious victory!" Kaiba shouted.
Blade Knight drove forward and attacked Turtle Tiger with its sword. It managed to pierce the shell, but the monster returned with fanged counterattack, piercing its armor through the chest, sending both to the graveyard.
"And now, Hyozanryu, end this duel! Diamond Breath attack!"
"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!" Monokuma shouted as the diamond breath brought his life points all the way down to 0.
"Game over," Kaiba said and stomped over to Monokuma and picked the bear up by its thick fur, glaring at it. "Now where's Mokuba?"
"I sent him to Noah," Monokuma said. "As for where Noah is, mmm, not even I know that."
"That's not what we agreed to! You said you'd tell me where Mokuba was!"
"And I did. I kept my promise. I said I brought him to Noah. I don't believe my words gave any indication that I would give you exact directions to rescue your little brother. That was your own hope twisting the truth and now it's led you to unimaginable despair, even though you won the duel. How sad, but it's hilarious for me. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Kaiba slammed the dumb bear into the ground, grinding his foot on it.
"Ah, ah, ah, you shouldn't be so violent with others. You may regret it."
"Self-destruct sequence activated," a digital voice inside Monokuma's stomach stated. Kaiba watched Monokuma glow and immediately grabbed the small creature, hurled it into the air and watched it explode high in the sky.
Kaiba then looked at the hand that threw Monokuma, his heart sinking at his failure to protect his little brother, how he'd let Monokuma trick him and waste his time. "…Mokuba."
However, where there is darkness, there is also light, and Kaiba's piercing ray of light and hope came from a shout of. "Heyyy! Kaiba! Are you there?"
Naegi?
Kaiba picked his head up and saw Makoto running out of a nearby thick grouping of trees. He seemed out of breath, evident by when he hunched over his knees, panting. "Phew," he said, standing up, "Finally a familiar face." He looked around. "Where's Mokuba? Didn't you two fall together."
Kaiba turned away from Makoto. "One of Noah's little cronies kidnapped him and now he's holding Mokuba hostage."
"Wha…that's terrible!" Makoto exclaimed, worried. "We've got to rescue him."
"Hmph, what's this 'we' stuff," Kaiba said, walking away, "I work alone!"
"But I…" Makoto started, only to notice that Kaiba was getting to be about 50 feet away from him. "Kaiba, I know how you must feel. Komaru's my little sister and I'm really worried about her too."
Kaiba stopped, teeth gnashed. He whirled around and shouted at Makoto, "You don't know the first thing about me! Did you come from an orphanage? Has your sister always been the only family you've ever had?"
Frightened, Makoto just stuttered, "Well no...but..."
"Then don't compare me to you!" Kaiba snapped.
While Makoto's first instinct was to cower in fear of Kaiba's anger, his better nature didn't let him do that. He simply put a hand on his chest, and appealed to Kaiba's hidden, good natured heart. He knew he had it. He was a good person deep down after all. "I honestly can't imagine what you might've gone through growing up," Makoto said to his personal hero, "But...that doesn't mean I'm not capable of empathy. If I'm worried about Komaru, then your fears for Mokuba must be amplified, even if you're hiding it behind a layer of anger."
"Tch," Kaiba's lips twitched. "Never thought some freshman runt would see so deep into me. Fine, you can follow me, but that doesn't make us friends. And don't get in my way!" Kaiba shouted.
Makoto's eyes brightened up. Travelling with Kaiba. This sounded like fun, even given the circumstances. "Yes! I promise not to slow you down!" Makoto said, and the two walked off together.
Miles away in Egypt, Junko leaned back in the chair she was sitting in, under the ground, inside some sort of limestone laden tunnel. Well, for her specifically, it was less tunnel and more "office room that connected to a tunnel", even if said office was lit by torches. The distant sound of gunfire could be heard as Junko saw the words GAME OVER in big red letters on the screen of the laptop she had been using.
"Blaaaaah!" she whined. "I got kicked out of the server!" After a small pause, she then let fly a wide, giddy grin. "Oh well, got some good data on Seto Kaiba. This despair is totally worth it. And armed with this knowledge I can create even more despair down the line." She pretended to wipe a tear from her eye, "Ahhhh, It's so beautiful!"
The gunfire had ceased seconds ago and now Junko heard footsteps behind her, quickly accompanied by, "Junko."
Junko's giddy mood instantly turned sour at the sound of her sister's voice. "What?!" she snapped irritably.
Mukuro saluted to her sister. "I have finished eliminating all hostiles. Those that surrendered have been properly restrained."
Junko's mood improved a little. "Well then, guess even a flat-chested deviant like you is useful sometimes." She slammed the laptop closed, stood up, walked behind Mukuro and snapped her fingers as she continued to walk further away, holding her right hand out, fingers in the shape of a check mark. "Begin phase two and make our guests more..." she stopped walking to think of the word. "comfortable," she smirked. She then stretched one arm up overhead and grabbed her elbow with her other hand. She put her arms down and said, "I'm gonna go grab a soda and a battery-powered fan." She looked around at the dimly lit tunnel she was about to exit into. "This place desperately needs one. Might hire an electrician too while I'm at it. Seriously, did you see their alarm system? It's a can tied to a piece of wire. Who does that in this day and age?"
"I wouldn't know, but…apparently these people do?" Mukuro said in an interrogative tone, not sure if that was what Junko wanted to hear.
Junko completely ignored her sister though, skipping through the tunnel happily and paying no mind to the bullet filled corpses or the fresh blood all over the walls. If anything, the sight and smell would've only improved her mirth.
As she stepped up the stairs and into the hot Egyptian sun bearing down on her. Junko pulled a pair of sunglasses out of her skirt pocket. All going according to plan! Junko exclaimed, letting fly a big, Cheshire Cat grin, putting on her sunglasses and wandering off into the market.
(A/N: Well, at least she lost. With Junko, you have to take the little victories. And no, I'm not going to explicitly state what she's up to. Figure it out yourself. Ugh, I hate her so MUCH! It was painful writing this chapter. You have no idea. And I'm not just saying that because I have work today and I slept only six hours just to give you fine folks this chapter.
Next time is the long awaited 3-on-1 duel and, as many of you have already correctly guessed, yes, it will be between Mai, Komaru, and Ibuki against Nezzbit. I hope you will all enjoy what I have in store for that. And as always, from all of me, to all of you, let your hearts stay human and your wrath draconic. Ja ne!)