Chapter 37 Bow Bridge

Author's Note

I have pictures of Bow Bridge on my Pinterest web page under my pen name Aidyl James. The bridge actually exists in Central Park.

Hildy and Kami walked slowly hand in hand along one of the paths in Central Park that would eventually lead to Bow Bridge. They were early for Kami's meeting with Jaz and decided to make a detour to the part of the park that had the lovely Bethesda Terrace Arches. They sat for awhile in silence in the outer courtyard just watching the activities around them. Some folks walked by quickly as if they were hustling to an appointment, while others walked like they hadn't a care in the world. Hildy looked at a group of persons who she assumed were a family playing Frisbee with their dog. The laughter and the joy on the faces of the children as they frolicked with their dog and parents made Hildy smile despite the tension that she felt coming off her lover like waves.

After making the phone call to Jaz almost an hour ago, Kami told her lover that she did not want to just sit around the office waiting for the time of the appointment to come. Ever cognizant of her partner's emotional state, Hildy took her lady's hand and walked out of the investigation firm. The couple left their office building and strolled around the area for a while before Hildy lead them to Central Park near the Arches.

Hildy placed her arm around her lady and gently pulled her closer to her side as she continued to look at the persons enjoying the peace of Central Park. Hildy wanted so much to take away Kami's tension. She wanted to handle Jaz herself. She wanted to tell her a thing or two and send her packing back to California. Hildy felt a small smile curl her lips as she thought of Kathrine going over the Jaz's suite at the Hilton with Kalia in tow on the tablet. The smile on her face turned into a chuckle as she imagined the scene.

Kami, hearing the chuckle, turned her head to look at her lover.

"What?" Kami asked.

Hildy laughed some more before saying, "I am just picturing your grandmother whipping out her tablet as she made her presence felt. And your mother telling Jaz to go back home. I love it".

Kami huffed and spoke in a voice that to the average person would have sounded offended, but Hildy knew her lover well, and knew Kami wanted to laugh but instead was trying to sound stern.

"My mother has to remember that I am a grown woman who is more that capable of handling her own affairs." Hildy listened with a smile as she made an agreeing sound with her voice.

"And my grandmother is no better. Going over to the Hilton Hotel like she is a soldier or something. Does she ever remember that she is in her eighties?" Kami asked as she shook her head.

Hildy once more agreed with her lady. After a few more moments of silence. Kami's smile broke out and her eyes twinkled. Turning her face to Hildy and said "It really is kind of funny when you think about it. I can just see Nana with her aloof no nonsense expression as she pulled out her tablet and connected with Mom. And then Mom giving her unsolicited advice for Jaz to go home". Kami threw her head back and had a hearty laugh.

Hildy was so please to hear the sound of laughter coming from her fiancée after the last several hours of emotional tension that she began laughing again. Passersby looked at them and smiled at the happy sounds emanating from the ladies.

"It's good to hear you laugh, my love" Hildy pulled her lady into a tight hug. Looking at her, Hildy asked "How are you feeling? ... Really? …. Are you ready to speak with Jaz?"

Taking a deep breath Kami said, "I was feeling very tense awhile ago ….. but I feel a lot calmer now. I think just sitting here with you for a few minutes has helped. I want to get this conversation with Jaz over and done with. At first, I was really angry with Jaz for coming back and speaking to you the way she did yesterday, I still am. But I think after speaking with Mom a while ago I am beginning to wonder what truly prompted this need to try and re-enter my life. Instead of letting anger and feelings of nervousness dominate my heart, I am now feeing calmer and a little curious as to the reason behind the reason"

Hildy listened and nodded. She thought about Kami's nervousness and wanted to know if Kami was nervous for more reasons than what they had discussed earlier in the day. A little insecurity began to raise in Hildy as an image of Jaz's beauty and life's accomplishments ran through her mind. Hildy willed herself to not to dwell on anything but the love she knew Kami had for her.

She turned and kissed her lover passionately right there on the bench with passersby and families romping on the grass. Kami was a little surprise at the ardent kiss, but she returned the passion in the kiss as she sensed her lover's need to let her know what she was feeling. As they slowly pulled apart, Kami looked in Hildy's eyes and saw traces of worry. She knew immediately that Hildy needed reassurance.

"I love you Hildy, you are my heart, my world, my everything". Then she gently caressed her fiancée's cheek and Hildy turned her lips to lovingly kiss Kami's palm.

"I love you too. I would give my life to protect you Kami", Hildy said with all sincerity.

Both women then laid their foreheads against each other as they luxuriated in the moment.

Reluctantly Kami said "It is almost time for the meeting, we should head over to the Bow Bridge. I want to find an empty bench where Jaz and I can speak without someone listening to the conversation".

Hildy pulled away and nodded her agreement before standing and helping Kami to her feet. The women then began walking towards the bridge.

Jaz had been into Central Park many times over the years and she knew exactly where the Bow Bridge was located. She would have preferred to be meeting Kami in her hotel room, but she could understand Kami's desire to meet out in the open. After such a long time, if the situation were reversed, she too may have preferred a public meeting.

Jaz decided to leave immediately for the park after her call from Kami. She wanted to get there early and choose a bench where no one else was sitting, plus she hoped she arrived before Kami so that she could observe her arrival. Jaz was a very disciplined and somewhat patient woman, it was that discipline and bit of patience that propelled her to the top of her field. Sitting on the bench in the shade of the trees, Jaz pulled on these two-character traits to stop herself from fidgeting in a mixture of apprehension and excitement. The meeting with Kami's grandmother and mother upset her more than she was presently willing to admit to herself. All the doubts Donna stirred up when she cautioned her about pursuing this re-entry into Kami's life where magnified when Kami's family advised her to go home. Jaz hated feeling unsure about a chosen course of action and sitting in the park while exciting at the thought of seeing Kami again also made her wonder if she was doing the right thing.

The area around the bridge was surprisingly active for the late morning hour. Jaz, in an effort to pull her thoughts away from her upcoming rendezvous with her former lover, focused on the activities around her.

"Don't all these people have jobs?", she wondered, shaking her head she looked disapprovingly at several people on rowboats moving up and down the pond, while others were just standing on the bridge chatting while looking at the water. After a few minutes of people watching, her thoughts once more turned introspective. Sitting there quietly, Jaz began to look back at her life and decisions made to become top in her field. She considered the sacrifices, emotional and otherwise, that placed her personal life to the side in favored of her career and wondered not for the first time if it was worth it. She was forty going on forty-one and had no one to come home to. No one was waiting for her with a smile or a kind word at the end of a frustrating day at the hospital. She acknowledged that she had every material possession that she could want for, but someone to share it with was missing. It was easy to start up a meaningless relationship to warm her bed from time to time, but the bodies grew cold in her arms soon after her release was found.

Thoughts like this seldom use to consciously cross her mind but over the last few years she became more and more aware that something was lacking in her life. Jaz could put on a convincing front to the world. She could quell her associates with a look and bring subordinates to tears. Most persons swore she was cold hearted, demanding and in control, but little did they know that behind the mask lurked a woman with fears and needs

As she continued to sit quietly on the park bench in her reflective mood, Donna crossed her mind and without realizing it, Jaz smiled. Taking a deep breath, Jaz looked at her relationship with Donna square in its face.

"I care more deeply for that woman than I want to admit", Jaz thought. "She is not intimidated by me at all. She does not fall over herself trying to please me or anticipate my wants like my staff or a lot of past lovers, Kami included". This thought surprised Jaz as she thought of Donna some more. "Is it really more my pride than my heart that was hurt when Kami left?" Jaz wondered. But as she thought about it she knew that it was more than just pride. There was truly a desire to understand why Kami left and why it was so easy for her to love another.

Just then Jaz saw Hildy and Kami off in the distance walking towards the side of the bridge. She observed their entwined hands as they walked in comfortable silence. As they got closer to the bridge they stopped and looked at each other, then Hildy said something to Kami that Jaz was too far away to hear but the smile that Kami bestowed on her fiancée was so beautiful that Jaz literally felt her heart skip a beat at the pure love she witnessed before her eyes.

In that moment she knew without a doubt that Kami would never give the offer to return to her a second thought. A finality settled over Joyce's mind that made her heart feel sad.

Looking at the couple, Jaz acknowledged that they loved each other, but whether or not she had the right to feel sad did not stop her heart from feeling that way

As the couple got nearer to the bridge Hildy saw Jaz first and stopped walking. Kami was forced to stop and seeing the controlled stony expression on her lover's face she knew immediately that Jaz was nearby. Following Hildy's line of vision she laid eyes on her old lover and as their eyes locked, it was like time stood still.

Jaz was more beautiful than Kami remembered if that was possible, and as Jaz raised up from the bench in that elegant lethal way she had, all Kami's emotions from the time they shared a life together came rushing back.

Hildy walked forward with Kami at her side and stopped a few feet in front of Jaz.

Needing to keep cool and not let her insecurities raise again, Hildy said; "I am going to go a little way back up the path as I know Kami wants to speak with you privately". Jaz gave a slight nod of her head at Hildy, acknowledging what she said.

Turning back to Kami, Hildy placed a kiss on her cheek as Kami squeezed her fingers in reassurance.

Hildy took a few steps away and then said over her shoulder "Jaz, I am warning you, if you try anything inappropriate with Kami …. I will not be responsible for my actions". With that she turned and walked purposefully up the path and onto the bridge.

The ladies were left alone, and they stood looking at each other. Then Kami shook her head and asked "Jaz, what are you really doing here?"