Anakin eyed the entirety of the small hut with doubt as he watched Yoda enter in through the small opening, leaving behind Luke and Anakin to figure out just how they were going to fit inside. Neither of them was by any means short and it would be difficult for the both of them to easily crawl inside the cramped hut.
Luke crawled in easily enough and Anakin was not that far behind him as he bent down and started the tedious crawl into the little hovel, practically on his hands and knees.
"Karking hell," muttered Anakin as he took his seat next to Luke and quickly ran a hand over his muddied robes, which had been clean that morning.
Luke grinned over at him, obviously finding the situation more humorous than Anakin did before he turned his attention back to Yoda, who stood over what looked to be a small make-shift cooking pot. It wasn't much, but it smelled good and it was enough to make Anakin's mouth water as he watched the little green Master stir whatever he was cooking around.
"Have questions you do, answer them to the best of my ability I shall," said Yoda over his shoulder to Anakin.
"I don't know where to start," mumbled Anakin as he looked over at his son with uncertainty in his eyes. "I think I have the gist of what happened, but there are still a few parts I'm a bit fuzzy on."
"Hmmm," said Yoda. "Important, details are. Told you much, Kenobi has?"
Anakin nodded, "I think he has, I mean, I wouldn't know if he had left anything out."
"True this is," said Yoda as he turned away from the food and pointed a stubby green finger over at Anakin. "Know most everything, you do. Aware of your son and daughter, you already are."
Anakin snorted as he turned his attention over to Luke, "actually, Artoo had to let that one spill. Neither Luke nor Obi-Wan had bothered to tell me before then."
"Bothered you, this did," commented Yoda.
"Well, yeah. I won't lie, I wasn't exactly happy with being kept in the dark like that," said Anakin as he gave Luke a pointed look.
"In our defense, we didn't want to overwhelm Anakin with that- information," said Luke earnestly as he too gave Anakin a pointed stare, leaving the two Jedi in a stalemate.
Yoda chuckled where he sat as he tapped his wooden cane on the ground, obviously amused by Anakin and Luke's interesting interaction. He held up his cane and pointed it at the both of them before saying.
"Squabbling like children you are," he said as he jabbed an accusing finger at them. "Stubborn and prideful you two are. Unyielding you both are and unwilling to put aside your differences, you two are."
At this, he gave Anakin a deliberate and sharp look that told the young Padawan everything that needed to be said, and Anakin couldn't help but lower his eyes down to his lap in understanding of what Yoda was silently accusing him of.
There was no denying that Anakin had been stubborn when it came to Luke and he had not been truly willing to put his pride and resentment towards his son away ever since he had discovered that the older Jedi had purposefully kept the secret of his future from him. He knew that he still harbored bitter and unrelenting feelings for Luke, deep down and buried so far that even Anakin had a hard time approaching them.
"Much resentment I can feel in you, Padawan Skywalker. Forgiven Luke completely, you have not," said Yoda as he leaned back in his chair to stare down at the two of them.
Anakin looked over at Luke, who was also staring at him blankly. Anakin wished to know what he was thinking at that very moment, but Luke had closed himself off from him for his own privacy. But he could tell that Luke was not angry at him, in fact, Anakin was fairly certain that there was nothing he could in the entire world to get Luke to even hate him.
"I admit, Master. I have never been the best at forgiving people or expressing myself to people."
"Struggle with relationships, you do. Taught you to isolate yourself and suppress your emotions, we did," said Yoda as he bowed his head solemnly. "Forget your mother, you could not no matter how hard we tried to break your connection to her. Ill-prepared you were for life as a Jedi and help you, we did not."
Anakin said nothing as he looked up at the little green Master before he shook his head.
"I wanted so bad to be a Jedi and I didn't think it would be as hard as it really was. I really had no idea what I was getting myself into at the time, and no one told me that I would have to forget how to love."
"Never stopped loving, you did," said Yoda. "Capitulate to our way, you never would. Shaped by your childhood, you already were."
"I tried, Master Yoda. But I knew that I would always be an outsider to the Jedi, no matter how hard I tried to please you guys. And I could never forget my mother either, not when I knew she was out there and still a slave."
"Found out her fate, have you?" asked Yoda softly.
Anakin nodded, "I know what happened to her and I know that I tried to save her, but I wasn't strong enough to. She died because of me."
"Die because of you, she did not. Killed by Tusken Raiders, she was. At fault, you are not."
"But I could've saved her!" said an agitated Anakin. "I was warned beforehand of what would happen and still I failed her. She still died, and I had to live with that. It's no wonder my future self became obsessed with saving Padme."
Yoda said nothing to that and neither did Luke, who merely lowered his eyes down to his lap while Anakin raised his head to stare up at the thatched ceiling of the hut in utter and complete defeat. There was really nothing else that he could say to that and he really didn't want to anyways.
"Why me?" he asked after a few heavy moments of deafening silence, his voice scratchy and on the verge of cracking. "Why does the Force give me these visions? Is it to torture me or to help me learn?"
"Speak for the Force, I cannot. But the reason for these dreams you have, I doubt that torture would be. Reveal everything the Force does, not to harm us but instead to teach us. Always in motion the future is and sure of the outcome, we may never be. Only possible futures based on your actions, the visions you see are, but never set in stone. Choose your path, only you can young Skywalker. Hmm."
"So, you're saying that the dreams that Anakin's future self had, were self-fulfilling?" asked Luke, speaking for Anakin at that precise moment.
"Ironic it is. A great tragedy it was," said Yoda with something akin to longing gracing his green features.
"So, I exacerbated all of this because I wanted to prevent the dreams about Padme dying?" asked an obviously overwhelmed Anakin as he ran an agitated hand through his short blond locks. To say that he wasn't a little freaked out by that prospect wasn't a little overwhelming was an understatement.
Force, he this sounded like a plot device in Alderaani literature. But then again, his entire life seemed like nothing more than backstory to some fictional character these days.
"Sithspit," muttered Anakin, not in disbelief but in utter and complete disappointment in himself. All of this had happened because he had wanted to save Padme, but in all actuality, it was his own actions that led to his downfall.
How poetic, he thought bitterly.
Yoda nodded his head as if he could sense Anakin's disdain. "Miserable, Vader is. Agonizing for him, knowing that his actions caused everything he wanted to prevent. Even here, sense his misery I do."
"He brought it on himself," interjected Anakin. "He has no one to blame but himself. He made his choice and I've made mine. I will not allow him to continue this dark crusade of his. This ends with me."
He was firm in his stance and unwavering. He was not going to allow Vader to wallow in his own grief and misery while the galaxy suffered at his hands.
If there was one thing he was sure about in his life, this was it.
"Right you are young Skywalker. Ultimately his choice it was. Be held accountable, he must be."
"I agree that Vader must be stopped at all costs," interjected Luke, 'but I can sense that there is still good in him. I believe that he can be redeemed if only we try to reach out to him."
"Believe Anakin Skywalker is still alive in him, you do?" asked Yoda as he leaned forward, his already wrinkled forehead scrunched up in intense concentration as if he was considering the possibility of Luke's words.
"I'm his son, I can sense him in a way that no one else can and I know for a fact that deep down, Anakin Skywalker still lives. Ben told me there wasn't anything good left in Vader, but I just know there is," said Luke softly. There was certainly an element of truth in his words and it resonated across the Force in a powerful way that touched Anakin in a way that made him believe in Luke's words.
Anakin could see feel the sadness that Luke held at bay and he couldn't deny it no matter how much he wanted too. Luke knew Vader probably better than anyone, even himself and Anakin had no other choice but to take his word as absolute truth.
It was a scary prospect and Anakin had no idea exactly what that meant for him. Perhaps the closest word he could use to explain it was hope.
"Has compassion for you, Vader does. More finely attuned to him than Kenobi was, you are. Perhaps truth there is to your words, young Luke," said Yoda, still in deep thought.
"If we can save him we have to try. Don't we owe him that much?" said Luke as he looked over at Anakin.
Anakin swallowed before he reluctantly nodded, "I believe you. If you think that he can be saved, then we have to try. You deserve that much, Luke."
"Learn to combat the darkness you must," began Yoda somberly. "Face your enemy, you will have to and to do that, you must confront the darkness inside of you."
"He who knows others is wise, but he who knows himself is enlightened," said Anakin as he quoted a passage from one of the early Jedi books that his Master had forced him to memorize, a feat that he found pointless at the time, but it felt strangely appropriate for this precise moment. Obi-Wan had told him that knowing thyself was the secret to unlocking all the secrets of the universe, and he couldn't be any more right about that.
Yoda smiled, "A passage from the teachings of Master Udanta, that is. A wise man beyond his years, he was."
"Obi-Wan made me read all of his texts. I thought it was stupid at the time, but I'm glad he made me study them," said Anakin with a fond smile as he remembered his late Master. Being here at this time had given him newfound appreciation than he had ever held before in his entire life, despite everything that had happened in these last twenty-eight years.
"Apply his teachings, you have learned to. Much more grown you have become, Anakin. A child you are no more, but instead a man. Ready to face your trials to become a Knight, you are."
"B-but, now?" asked Anakin as he did his best to contain his surprise and confusion. He certainly didn't feel ready to be Knighted despite how much he had looked forward to it these past few years of his apprenticeship. He had looked upon Padawan's getting ready to face their trials with quiet jealousy, but he had not understood at the time what true preparedness was.
And now that he was facing the moment he had been waiting for ever since he was imitated into the Temple was surreal and overwhelming.
Was he even ready?
"Finish your training here, we will. Then face your trials in the Dark Side Cave, you will," said Yoda as he jabbed his finger over at Anakin before adding, "Have faith in you, I do."
"Is that necessary?" said Luke as he shifted in his seat, obviously uncomfortable with the idea of Anakin going into the Dark Side Cave as he had when he had completed his Trials. His experience in that- place had undoubtedly left him changed.
It was not an experience he could easily forget.
"The only way he will learn, it is. Ready to face the ultimate trial, Anakin is and believe in him I do," said Yoda with a smile as he leaned back in his seat. "Hmmm, indeed ready he is."
"Master I-"Anakin paused. "I don't deserve this. I don't deserve your faith and I certainly don't deserve Knighthood. I couldn't possibly- "
"-Learned humility, you have. Remember a time when you would've jumped at the chance of Knighthood, I do. Prove my point, you do," interrupted the little green Master.
Yoda was right about that. Had this happened back in his own time, Anakin would've absolutely taken the chance of early Knighthood with pride and arrogance. As ashamed as he was to admit it, he had been selfish then and to some a small degree, he still was. But he had learned in his time spent here that pride and selfishness were the proverbial crux of his entire being and that his own nature had led him down a path that he believed was righteous. Instead, it had been the highway to his own personal hell.
"Just say thank you, Anakin," said Luke as he patted Anakin on the back.
"Thank you, Master Yoda," sputtered Anakin. "I am honored that you believe I am ready to face my Trials. I won't disappoint you."
Yoda's eyes twinkled with something akin to pride as he looked at the young Padawan before him that had grown far beyond what he thought was possible. Ever since he had met the former slave as a young boy, Yoda had felt that he would be troublesome, and he was right about that. But never had he imagined that that young boy would turn into someone he could have such pride in.
"Disappoint me, you will not," said Yoda simply as he jumped down from his seat and hobbled over to the entrance to the hut. "Follow me, young Skywalkers. Time to finish your training, it is."
"Right now?" asked Luke as he rose as far as he could to his full height before he followed the little old Master out of the little house with Anakin close behind him.
"Meditate first, we shall," said Yoda as he pointed his cane over to a small clearing. "Lost enough time talking, we have. Get to work we must."
Both Anakin and Luke shared a look before they both lowered themselves down to the ground, which wasn't all that muddy as they had expected it to be. They both folded their legs into the formal meditative position before they turned their attention back to Yoda, who had made himself comfortable on a nearby log.
"Mentioned disturbing dreams earlier, you did. Allow me access to see, will you?" asked Yoda as he looked down at Anakin.
Anakin nodded, "I will allow you to see everything if you must. I have nothing to hide from you, Master."
"Clear your mind to allow me access, you will? Fight my presence, you will not?" asked Yoda, obviously wishing to respect the young man's privacy.
"I won't," said Anakin as he gave the Master his consent to enter his mind. Although it wasn't against Jedi Principle to enter someone's mind without permission, it was a common courtesy to ask before entering and to only enter if absolutely needed. Anakin had never really felt comfortable with the idea of entering someone's mind without explicit permission and it bothered him to see so many Jedi skirt the line of consent when it came to mind tricks and what not. He had heard the excuse that it was okay because the weak-willed were inferior to them, but he could never bring himself to hold such an abhorrent sentiment. Free will was important to him and he didn't want to take it away from other people like it had been taken away from him as a child.
It was one of the reasons why Anakin never felt comfortable using mind tricks on anybody, no matter how "inferior" the weak minded were viewed as. He would never tell Kenobi, but it had always disturbed Anakin how he was always so willing to use them against people even when the situation did not call for it.
Yoda said nothing as he closed his eyes and reached out to the young Padawan, who easily let him access and showed him the vibrant dreams that had plagued his sleep for the past few weeks. Yoda pursed his lips as he tried to make sense of the incoming visions that were barely comprehensible. Snippets really of a past life that not even Anakin could really understand himself.
Anakin scrunched up his face in concentration as he saw the images flash through his mind once again in disturbing and confusing patterns as he let everything go through the connection that Yoda had initiated. It was obvious that even Yoda was disturbed by what he saw as he struggled to maintain the presence of the bond between the both of their minds.
Anakin could feel sweat drip down his forehead as the cool air of Dagobah suddenly grew hot and he swore that he could feel the embers of the fiery shoreline pecking at his robes. He knew it wasn't real, but he couldn't help but flinch at the imaginary heat nonetheless.
He inhaled deeply as the image of that terrible black mask danced across the reaches of his mind, hot tongues of fire dancing around the sharp black edges before it grew to consume him in a surge of black smoke.
Anakin cried out in pain as he suddenly and without warning severed the connection between him and Yoda and fell back onto his hands in surprise and shock, the panic on his face quite evident as he looked around at his surroundings. That certain image had been a bit too overwhelming for him to stomach, but Yoda had seen everything that he had needed to see. There was no reason to relieve that again.
"Anakin!" said Luke as he grasped Anakin's shoulder tightly. "Are you okay?"
It took the young Padawan a few moments to come back to his senses before he gave the older Jedi a curt but uncertain nod as he brushed off his robes, his countenance still recovering from all that he had been forced to relive.
"Hmm. Disturbing these visions are. Understand your fear, I do," said Yoda solemnly with a far-away look in his eyes.
"You never told me you were having disturbing dreams," said Luke as he looked at Anakin questionably. Anakin could tell that Luke wanted to know why he wouldn't tell him that he was having such disturbing dreams such as these, but Anakin knew the exact answer to that question.
"It's my burden to bear, not yours," said Anakin simply and with no intention to say anything else further.
"But-"began Luke before Anakin stopped him.
"-You didn't need to know. They are not your dreams," said Anakin sternly, his tone silencing the other Jedi effectively. It wasn't his intention to be rude or anything, but to point out the fact that he had the right to privacy. His dreams were personal, and Luke did not need to deal with them like Anakin did.
Luke pursed his lips before he turned his head away from Anakin to stare over at the boggy swamp intently. He said nothing further.
"Your dreams they are but struggle with their meaning you do. Help from your children may be needed in this situation."
"No," said Anakin firmly. "You may be right in those regards Master, but I will not drag Luke and Leia into my personal problems. They have enough to deal with as is and I will not burden them with my problems anymore."
"You're hardly a burden to us, Anakin," said Luke as Yoda nodded in agreement.
"A burden you are not. Wish to help you, Luke and Leia do," said Yoda.
"I know," said Anakin as he shook his head, "it's just- complicated. I'd rather we didn't talk about it for now if you don't mind."
"Respect your privacy young Skywalker, we shall," said Master Yoda simply. "Continue with the lesson, we must."
"What did you have in mind?" asked a curious Luke as he leaned forward in anticipation. Even Anakin really had no idea at that point what the training would include and whether any of them would be prepared for them.
Traditionally, Jedi Trials were done in a set of five different tests that encompassed a multitude of skills and tasks that were meant to challenge the one taking them. They were not easy, and many failed them and thus were unable to progress into Knighthood.
Anakin had never been afraid of them and had looked forward to them eagerly, but times had changed and so had he. The Trials that he prepared his entire life for were not the same ones that he would face tomorrow, and he was no longer eager to become a Knight as he had once been.
For the first time in a long time, Anakin was afraid of his Trials. No one at the Temple had ever had to face a Trial such as this before and his training had not prepared him for this. He felt as though he was not ready for the responsibilities of being a Knight nor was he ready to go through his Trials.
Yoda was adamant that he was ready, but Anakin had his doubts. Was he truly ready to face the darkness inside of him? To face the very darkness that had turned him into the monster that he had sworn to destroy?
The Force churned but gave him no answer.
AN: I know this is short, but I really didn't have the time or motivation to write more to the chapter. I have been so busy lately and I am sorry that it has almost been a month since I last updated, but a lot of things have happened since then. Long story short, I managed to find my biological family through ancestry and I have just been emotionally overwhelmed with that and busy with other things in my schedule.
There is just one small thing I would like to address in this chapter-
I honestly have no idea how Anakin feels towards Jedi mind tricks, but I wrote that he was uncomfortable with them because it took away free will from people. Personally, I would think that with his uprising as a slave and the fact that he never really had any choice when he was a slave that he wouldn't really seek to use them as much as other Jedi. I don't even think I've ever seen him use one in any of the movies but I could be wrong. I have never really liked the idea of mind tricks just because it crosses the line of consent in my opinion.
Anyway, pardon my little rant. I hope you enjoyed :)
