Talk to Me

(Wednesday Afternoon, June 19th)

"Hard at work, I see," Ben's mother comments when she walks into the office.

"It's not like I have anything better to do," he counters, as he writes on the paper and then scrolls down the document on the laptop.

"Your girlfriend is here, and you don't want to spend the afternoon with her?"

"You know they have those classes with Fairy Godmother, plus Mal, Evie, and Jay take that driving course afterwards," he counters.

"It's four in the afternoon," she quietly states, and when Ben looks at the clock in the lower corner of the screen, he sees it's true. "You keep yourself too busy."

He hears the worry in her voice, "I'm fine."

She closes the door and steps forwards, hands folded in front of her, "I saw the interview." before she nods down and peers at him in unsureness. "You said you and Mal haven't been treating each other very kindly."

He puts the pen down, "I also said we were working on it."

"To work on it," she puts forward, "you would need to spend time with her." Ben quiets, and she moves forward, "What was Mal's part in this?"

He faces her, "Well, you know my part was forgetting that she'd been raped on the island by Harry Hook."

"And her part?" her eyebrows raise.

Ben wets his lips, before he shakes his head, "It's nothing."

She moves forward and sits in the chair across from him, "Please. Talk to me."

He sighs, looking off, "When I was having a harder time with English, I was avoiding Mal, and probably because of what happened to her…" He meets her warm brown eyes, "Mal thought that because I'm a guy that I'd like her more if she was more… physical."

Her expression fills with more concern, somehow, "What happened?"

"Nothing," Ben looks off. "Evie stopped her." He hears his mother breathe in relief, "But it was close… Really close."

"So, now you're avoiding her?" she assumes.

"No," Ben frowns. "I'm really not. It's just…" He shakes his head, "Why does so much always have to be going on in my life?"

"Are there other things?" she inquires.

Ben faces her. It's nothing. It's always nothing when it comes to his father. That's been made perfectly clear. His eyes shift, "Feels like it."

"You're young," she excuses. "It will feel like less when you have more experience." He stays quiet, and she questions, "What Mal tried to do, do I need to worry?"

"Worry about what?"

"That she'll try it again," she explains. "That you two are still together after all this."

"I've hurt her too," Ben reminds her. "We just need to learn how to talk to each other, which we can do now that my English is better."

"So, what she tried to do didn't impact you at all?" she makes sure.

Ben frowns, "Of course, it's impacted me. She was kissing me to the point where I could barely get a word out, grinded as she sat on me, and I was already injured." He meets her eyes, "But I had neglected her of heat, she was drunk, and… I never directly said no."

"You shouldn't have had to," she sympathizes.

"But I should have been able to," he counters. "I should've been able to say stop, and I should have been able to sound sure of my decision."

"When someone doesn't know if they want sex or not," his mother asserts, "the default is not to have it. She should have stopped on her own and being drunk is no excuse."

Ben's quiet for a moment, observing her stern expression, "Being neglected of heat was a good enough excuse when she'd attempted to do it with Audrey."

His mother sighs, "Honey." Her wavy, brown hair touches the yellow straps on her pale shoulders, and when he forces his eyes to the desk, he notices the gold ring on her finger. If he could just reach out and hold her soft, cool hand, then it'd be okay. If he could just reach out to hold her hand, stand up to hug her, and then just stay with her, it's not something he can do. "Honey?" He frowns back up at her. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sad," he admits.

"Why?" He looks down at her hand, and when it moves to hold onto his he looks back up at her. "Honey, you can talk to me."

He faces her, tears intruding his eyes, before he whispers, "There's something wrong with me."

"How do you mean?"

He shakes his head, half laughing, "I don't know."

When he looks back down his mother places a hand to his face, lifting it back up so his eyes meet hers, "You will always be my son, and nothing can change that. You know that?"

Ben grins in disbelief, "Yeah." before he gulps. "I know."

When Ben sees Mal frown he questions, "What's wrong?"

She faces him, "I guess, I just don't really get why you didn't come to me." before she examines his expression. "You say you don't like Chad like that, but how could you go to him instead of me, then?"

"Mal." Ben wets his lips, "I needed someone to talk to, someone who could listen."

Mal's eyes shift as she frowns, "I'd like to listen." Ben doesn't say anything, so she pleads, "Would you talk to me?" and when he fails to she rolls her eyes. "I'm starting to get why Audrey felt devalued."

"Devalued?" Ben questions.

"Worthless," Mal hisses. "Like nothing. You made her feel like nothing, because you ignored her, and you never, ever let her in."

"Do you feel devalued?" he frowns.

"Starting to?" she laughs, before Ben takes her hands. "Just talk to me. I want to listen. I want to be able to be the one to listen, for once. I mean, that would help you, right? It would help us, right?"

"You haven't done anything wrong," he tries to reassure her.

"Recently, you mean."

He sees the tears in her eyes, "I'll talk. Okay?" before he wipes the tears from her face.

Mal gulps as she nods, trying to pull herself together, before he takes a breath, "So, uh, what did you tell Chad?" Ben opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. "Please. I want you to be able to come to me next time."

"I don't really know how to say it," Ben eyes down.

"You told Chad."

"In French," he tiredly states.

"Try," Mal insists. "I want to know."

Ben faces her, and as his heart races he squeezes her hands, "It's just my father, you know." He hesitates, "I'm never good enough for him. I, uh, could do everything right, and then he'll find something else. It's too much. That's why I ran away."

"You ran away?" Mal questions.

"But I'm king now," Ben continues. "I could never do that now."

"So, you came back," her eyes shift in realization.

It takes him a minute to say, "I'm really tired. I'm always just so tired, but I can't sleep. I've been trying to, but it's worse now that I'm here."

"Sounds like Jay and his father," Mal notices.

He pauses, "What did his father do?"

"He would only let Jay eat if he stole enough for the shop," she recalls. "Jay couldn't sleep, because he was afraid he'd miss something important, some mood change. When he would sleep, he'd get woken up by breaking objects or yelling." Mal faces Ben, "What does your father do to you?"

"He just keeps telling me how I've failed, gives false answers to problems I couldn't know about until after it happened." His eyes shift, "I make one mistake, and he talks about it for months. I do something good, and then he wants me to do better the next time."

Mal notices him eye the ground, "Anything else?" and when Ben faces her she notices his eyes gleam with tears.

His heart beats incredibly fast, making it hard to breath, "I…" He attempts a large breath, his mind completely empty of thoughts as it clutters with the knowledge of what's happened. "He tells me how I will make this country bad, that I'm going to make everyone dead." He laughs, "He'll tell me how I'm going to die just for being so… and…"

"Ben," Mal quietly comments, as she notices him shake and holds onto his arms.

The tears fall from his eyes, "I'm starting to think that the only way for him to stop telling me I'm going to die, that I'll make the people die, is if it finally happens." He shakes his head, "Because, I've just been waiting for it to happen, and I don't get how it couldn't have happened after all of this time."

Mal feels him shake more and moves in to wrap her arms around him, "Your father doesn't know what he's talking about."

"I just wish it'd just happen," Ben sobs. "I wish the country turned to fire, everyone died, and everything goes to ash. Because, then, it would be over."

She rubs a fist up and down his back, "It's going to be okay."

"It's never going to be over," his pitch raises as he crackly whispers.

"It's not going to happen," she reassures. "You don't need to worry about it."

"You could do it for me," he solves. "Light the country on fire for me, let me die with it."

Mal hugs him tighter, "Sorry. I don't have fire breath… or the wingspan to cover the whole country."