Thank you for the reviews everyone, please keep them coming as my university tries to kill me with the assistance of my three jobs! I polished up this chapter to celebrate that the first chapter of this fic, originally due to stand alone, has just gotten full marks from the House Cup! So hurray, hurray, hurray. Thank you for reading!
Disclaimer: In a shocking turn of events, I continue to not own Harry Potter, unbelievably.
3
Philosopher's Stone / Ten Years a Widow
When they left Madam Malkin's shop with Harry's new robes in hand, Lily pulled him aside.
"Did that boy you were talking to tell you his name?" she asked.
"Draco Malfoy," Harry said.
"Right," Lily said. "Was he friendly?"
"He said things about blood purity..." Harry said, shifting uncomfortably. "I didn't understand everything and I didn't want to be rude but… but I didn't like it."
"Okay," Lily said. "You're right, Harry. Blood purity doesn't mean anything. It's very dangerous to believe it, actually. That's one of the things that was important to Voldemort, and it's one of the reasons he hated people like me."
"Muggleborns," Harry said.
"Exactly," Lily said. "The Malfoy family was on Voldemort's side, during the war. If you're friends with their son, that's okay, maybe he'll be your best friend in the world. But the second he starts saying things that you don't like, you leave. Walk away, tell him to stop, whatever you need to do. You have my permission to be rude about it, but never mean. You don't have to be around that, and you shouldn't be. Does that make sense, Harry?"
"I don't want to be friends with him," Harry said. "I'll make other friends at Hogwarts. Right?"
"Of course, you will, love," Lily said, pushing the hair out of his face. "Of course, you will."
That was when Remus and Sirius, giddy as schoolchildren, rejoined them holding up a cage containing a beautiful snowy owl.
"We got you a bit of an extra-late birthday present," Sirius said, grinning. "But it's on the school list, so your Mum can't get mad."
Lily wasn't sure that's what that meant at all, but Harry was so delighted and breathtaken by the bird's striking white plumage that she knew she'd drop it.
"Congrats on waiting until he was on the train to cry," Sirius said.
"Shut up, Black," Lily said. She turned to Remus. "And you. How long have you been working on that chocolate frog collection for him?"
"Before he was born," Remus said as if that was obvious. She could have started crying again. "Oh, Lily, he'll be fine at Hogwarts. He'll be perfectly safe, he'll be with kids his age, he'll be under Dumbledore's watch…"
"I know," Lily said. "And funny enough it's not making me feel better about… well, my baby's grown up, hasn't he?"
"Remus and I had a sneaking suspicion that it wouldn't," Sirius said. "So we made reservations at that Vietnamese restaurant you like."
Lily laughed. "My angels. Okay, let's go."
She took the arm Sirius offered her, and they made their way out of the platform. They walked by a little girl with a shock of red hair being comforted by her mother, whose eyes lingered on Lily. It wasn't like she wasn't used to it—even in the Muggle world, the lightning scar gathered attention. In the wizard world, it held so much weight…
Lily smiled at the little girl.
"You're Ron's new friend's mum," the little girl said. Her own mother turned around.
"Is Ron your brother?" Lily said, making the connection between the fiery red hair and splash of freckles she sported with the little boy who had been sitting in Harry's train compartment, waving.
The little girl nodded. "And I'm Ginny. I get to go next year."
"Lucky you," Lily said. "Hogwarts is a lot of fun, and you get to learn lots."
"I already know how to fly a broom," Ginny said.
"Which you are not supposed to do," her mother chided. "Honestly, I could strangle Bill for letting you. I'm Molly, Molly Weasley."
"Lily Potter," Lily said extending her hand. It felt like a useless introduction, the scar usually did the talking, but Molly shook her head warmly.
She introduced Remus and Sirius (the latter had apparently worked with Bill Weasley as a cursebreaker before he'd been sent abroad), and they chatted a little bit. Lily knew of Molly from Fabian and Gideon Prewett, but they had never met. Eventually, Ginny had had enough of grown-ups being grown-ups, so she cut in.
"Mum, are we going to go get ice cream like last year?" Ginny asked.
"Don't interrupt dear, though look at the time… I suppose we best be off," Molly said. "Send me an owl, Lily, it would be lovely to have you over for tea."
"It would," Lily said. "It was nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too, dear," Molly said. "Ginny what do you say?"
"Bye," she said.
"Enjoy your ice cream," Remus said. Sirius winked at Ginny and she grinned.
"That was nice," Remus said once they left the station.
"Look at you, being a Mom bonding with other Moms," Sirius said, nudging her.
Lily chewed her lip. She knew that she'd been highly overprotective of Harry. That was true. He'd never had young wizarding friends, she hadn't wanted to expose him to more of his past than she had to until it was unavoidable.
"If he does make friends with that Ron boy, that'd be good," Sirius said. "Prewetts are good people, Weasleys too."
"And Lily can have a friend too," Remus teased.
Lily smiled. Over her pho, she spilled her anxiety out at the boys.
"I just… There's so much for him to learn and experience at Hogwarts and a lot of it is going to be so, so good. But so much of it… so much of it is going to hurt. I don't know if we've… maybe I should have told him more. I didn't know how to prepare him for this, I don't know if I've done enough- I don't even know how to be a good mother, and this is so, so different from…"
"Hey," Remus said, taking her hand. "You're a wonderful mother. We've had that discussion before, we're not opening again, it's just fact."
"I second that, you're outvoted," Sirius said. He reached over and took Lily's other hand, pulling it out of her hair where it was twisting nervously. "Evans? He's there now. You've done so much for him, and he'll be good. He's Harry: he's the best."
Lily smiled, thinking of how sweet he'd been to her this morning.
"He is," Lily smiled.
Lily sat outside on the porch swing, taking advantage of the unusually warm Fall and getting away from the other two while she was at it. She had a cup of tea in one hand, McGonagall's letter in the other, and her favourite blue blanket around her shoulders. It was another save from Godric's Hollow, something that had been tucked away in a chest in the living room and had survived the spell blasts and the house's eventual collapse. If Voldemort hadn't burst into their home, there was a big chance that she and James would have spent the night bundled up in it, watching a movie or listening to the radio or scanning The Prophet for any codes or secret messages…
By the time Remus found her, guided through the backyard by a quick lumos, she'd moved on to her spot under the alder tree further out into the yard. He sat down next to her and closed his fingers around the letter. He gave her a look, and once she nodded back he took it from her and looked over it again.
"'With your written permission, Captain Oliver Wood and I would be thrilled to invite Harry to take his place as Gryffindor's Seeker. The boy was eager to learn more about Quidditch and showed exceptional talent reminiscent of his father. I do believe James would be proud,'" Remus read.
"And to think I never put him in a Little League because that sounded too much like something James would do," Lily said, shaking her head.
"Don't feel bad, Lily. Harry's found Quidditch now. Or it found him," Remus said. "While he was breaking a rule. To help another kid in his class. Really, the James in him just hits you sometimes, doesn't it?"
Lily laughed.
"I'll sign the permission form. I hope that's not what you're here to talk me into, of course I'll let Harry do what makes him happy."
"Not at all," Remus said. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Because, really, the James in him just hits you sometimes."
She nodded. "James would be popping a bottle of champagne, if he were here."
"Absolutely," Remus said. "He might be crying, too. If you're in a bubbly sort of mood, Sirius is still pretty ecstatic."
"I think I'm okay," Lily said. "Though you should by all means go entertain Sirius."
"A dangerous directive," Remus said, getting up. "Goodnight."
"Sweet dreams, love," Lily said. When Remus was back inside the house, Lily drew her wand. "Expecto patronus."
From the tip of her wand, burst the stag. She'd had a sneaking suspicion that he would come tonight, instead of the doe. They took turns based on Lily's mood it seemed.
"There's some news you've got to hear," she said. "Come here…"
Lily had pulled out all the stops at supper. Fresh tomato sauce made with fixings from the garden, homemade meatballs, a really, really good wine… All for the boys to be in a good mood when she made her (really altogether simple) request.
"I want you to teach me how to be an Animagus," Lily said.
Sirius choked on his spaghetti.
"Excuse me?"
"I want you to teach me how to be an Animagus," Lily said. "Look, now that Harry's out of house and doesn't need anyone staying in with him on full moons, I don't see why I couldn't help…"
"No," Remus said sharply. "No. Absolutely not, I refuse to allow it."
"Sirius is with you every full moon," Lily said.
"As the product of a bad decision I made when I was far younger and far stupider," Remus said. "I won't let yourself be put in any kind of risk, Lily."
"It's not a risk!" Lily said. "Isn't that what you and James told me when I found out about this Animagus business in the first place?"
"It's not a risk because the wolf is used to Sirius, and Sirius is in turn used to the wolf and how he behaves, what kinds of decisions he's likely to make, what he'll want to do, and where he'll want to go," Remus said. "I have no idea how he would react to a newcomer and I will not find out by using you as bait."
Lily leaned back in her seat and looked to Sirius. Sirius was looking deeply into his wine glass, swirling the remnants and deferring to Remus on this one. He'd be of no help.
"The Wolfsbane Potion is getting harder and harder to access," Lily said. "We might not even be able to get it on a bimonthly basis anymore. We have to start thinking of what's best for you."
"The shed in the yard is secure for a full transformation if it comes to that," Remus said.
"We are not chaining you up like an animal," Sirius intervened.
"I can help," Lily said. "James-"
"You are not James," Remus said.
Lily's blood boiled.
"I know I'm not, I love you on my own terms. But if it's going to be contentious, I'm willing to drop the subject. For now," Lily said.
Remus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Please."
Ten years. She'd been a widow for ten years.
The thought hit her as soon as she opened her eyes on Halloween. She hadn't been able to chase it away or move since. The sheets felt stifling around her, but she couldn't imagine pushing them off and facing the world today.
There was a knock on her door and before she could call anything out, Remus let himself in carrying a cup of coffee and a book. A happy black dog slipped in through the crack in the door.
"Don't mind me," Remus said, settling in on the bed and cracking open his book. "I just thought I'd do my reading here this morning."
Padfoot hopped on the bed and nestled against Lily too.
"Fighting trolls," Lily scoffed. "Fighting trolls at eleven years old! He must've broken a thousand rules doing it—oh, just he waits until I send that Howler in…"
"He's James Potter's son," Remus counselled. "A Howler will have no deterring effect."
"We could keep an eye on him, if only we still had the map," Sirius said wistfully, equally grinning.
"You'd send him congratulations and sweets," Lily scoffed.
"To be fair, we'd warned you this would happen when you mixed your DNA with James in the first place," Remus said.
"I know," Lily said. Then, all of a sudden, she dropped the letter from McGonagall and laughed. "He fought a troll within the first two months of school… We're so, so fucked."
When they saw Harry again at Christmas, he had grown about three inches and seemed even happier than his letters had made it seem.
"My baby," Lily said squeezing him in his arms.
"Mum I can't breathe," Harry said.
"Go on Harry, just say I'm embarrassing you," Lily said kissing his hair. Keeping her arms on his shoulders, she held Harry back an arm's length and took him in. He was already looking lanky, so much like…
"You're embarrassing me," Harry said, deadpan. Lily laughed and Harry hugged her. In her ear he whispered, "I missed you Mum."
When she let go of him long enough to look up, Ron Weasley had swung by again. Molly and the other Weasley children were trailing her, and Lily couldn't help but think of a mother duck and a row of ducklings.
"Mum, this is Harry," Ron said.
"Pleased to meet you Harry," Molly said, wrapping Harry up into a hug.
"Hello, you must be Ron," Lily laughed, holding her hand out to the little boy.
"He's Ron," Ginny confirmed. One of the older boys, Percy judging by his Prefect's badge, was looking at Lily a bit awe-struck. She smiled and ignored it.
"Harry, Ron!" An authoritative little voice chimed behind Lily. A little girl with frizzy brown hair was coming towards them, dragging both of her parents by the hand. Lily could tell by how up-to-date her clothes were that she was a Muggleborn, Lily remembered that herself. This must be Hermione then.
"Hello Mrs. Potter, hello Mrs. Weasley, I'm Hermione Granger and these are my parents," Hermione said very grown-up like. She turned to the boys. "I've lost Neville."
"Neville Longbottom?" Lily asked quietly. She hadn't seen the boy in… well, ten years, really. Odd, given how she and Alice had used to joke that they could start a daycare at Order headquarters.
"He's our friend," Ron told her. "He's in Gryffindor with us."
"He's our fourth man," Harry said.
"Our fourth person because I'm not a man, I've told you," Hermione chimed in.
"Good," Lily said quietly. "Well, I'm sure his grandmother was just very excited to see him as well. If you all said you'd say goodbye before leaving, I'm sure he'll be around…"
Even if he'd chattered on about school during the car ride home with Lily, at supper Harry still had things to say about his friends, his Quidditch team, his favourite dishes from the Hogwarts kitchen, his classes…
"Slughorn loves me," he informed them. The Potions Master, as it seemed, hadn't decided to retire after all.
"That's because he loves your mother," Sirius said, dipping his noodles back into his bowl. Harry had gotten to pick what he wanted and he'd wanted Chinese food. "Honestly, he did. Still does, probably. With a burning passion…"
"That's enough out of you," Lily said. "What about Defense Against the Dark Arts? Who's teaching that, Harry?"
"It's Professor Quirrell," Harry said. "He's nice, but a little strange. McGonagall is my favourite, but she scares me."
Lily slept easier on the night Harry came home. She was so happy to see the light still on past bedtime, shining under his door, that she didn't even bother him about getting to bed. It was as if she and the house could breathe again.
On Christmas Day, the radio blared in the kitchen and Christmas movies ran on the television all day in the living room. The house smelled like turkey and potatoes and vegetables and cranberries and gingerbread, Lily's claim to fame in the baking arena. She'd traded some for a tin of Molly Weasley's fudge which had promptly vanished.
She, Remus, and Harry had each gotten rather thick stacks of books for Christmas, which they started working through in the afternoon, by the fire. Sirius was reading a new Muggle motorcycle magazine Lily had gotten him, to his amazement. She wasn't sure how much longer she'd be able to keep the exact functioning of the Muggle postal system from Sirius, but the fact that he didn't know these were delivered to his door once a month was still rather hilarious to her.
"Remus?" Harry asked, looking up from his book.
"Yes?" Remus asked.
"Who's Nicholas Flamel?"
"He's an alchemist," Remus said. Harry tilted his head curiously, like a small dog hearing a new sound for the first time, which always made Lily laugh. "Think of them as very specific Potions Masters: their focus was a substance called the Philosopher's Stone, which would supposedly create gold as well as something called the elixir of life. Muggles and Wizards alike were drawn to Alchemy in the Middle Ages, but Flamel is the only one known to have succeeded."
"Nobody else?" Harry asked. "Huh."
"Why do you ask?" Remus asked.
"Nothing," Harry said. "Heard his name once in a class."
"There's a biography of wizarding names in the study, if you want to read more," Remus said.
"Yeah," Harry said. "Yeah, that would be good."
"It happened," Lily said, sliding a cup of tea and her copy of Voices in Potions in front of Remus. She folded down the magazine. "Belby's grandson finally secured a patent on Wolfsbane. We won't be able to get it through the Ministry anymore."
Remus took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry," she said, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. "Sirius and I still think we can secure a copy of the recipe…"
"Not legally," Remus said. "Or not without spending an arm and a leg. It's not worth it, Lily."
"You're worth it. Your health is worth it," Lily said. She sat on his desk and ran her fingers over the article. "Look, if you won't let us do this for you, will you reconsider spending nights in the woods again?"
"It's not safe if I'm only with Sirius," Remus said. "And if you're trying to bring up the Animagus discussion again, it's still a no. Please don't fight me on this right now. On... on any of this."
Lily bit her lip.
"Okay," she said. "Okay, fine."
"We were too soft on him over Christmas," Lily ranted, pacing the kitchen and waving her cup of tea around as she gestured. "He's just so quiet when he's here! What happens at school? Is there something in the water? I should have instilled the fear of God in him when I had him under this roof. If I had there's no way that boy would have been out and about in the middle of the night, wandering the castle halls…"
"Well there is," Sirius said. "He just wouldn't have gotten caught."
"This isn't funny!" Lily said. "Wait a second. What do you mean by that?"
Sirius and Remus looked at each other, but it was enough to tip Lily off.
"What do you mean he wouldn't have gotten caught?" Lily said. She couldn't help but think of the first time James had convinced her that she really, really wanted to see how beautiful the greenhouses looked under the moonlight. Don't worry Evans. There's no way we'll get caught, I promise…
"He has the cloak," Lily concluded.
"Yeah," Sirius answered bluntly. "Oh, don't look at me that way, Remus. When have we ever been able to keep anything from her?"
"Where did he—Dumbledore gave him..?" Lily asked.
"He's the one who had it when James died, so I'd assume so," Remus said. "It was wrapped at the foot of his bed on the morning before he came home, he told us. With a note calling it 'an early Christmas present.'"
"He showed it to you? And it's really James' cloak?" Lily asked.
"It looked like it," Sirius said. "And God knows we've spent enough time under that thing…"
Lily twisted her hands together. "Why didn't he tell me about it?"
"I just got you peaceful sleep pastilles," Sirius said, frowning as she added a box to their basket of ingredients.
"You did, I just want to send Harry some," Lily said. "Hedwig came with a letter yesterday and it's the second one where he mentions nightmares."
"About what?"
"He's eleven years old and too cool to tell his mother that."
"Is that why you're not telling me about your nightmares either?" Sirius asked.
"While I am indeed too cool for you, you already know all about mine," Lily said. "Same old, same old."
"Voldemort?" Sirius asked. "Again? I thought we'd kicked those…"
Lily shrugged. She didn't want to talk about it. From her face to her chest, she felt tingly wherever the lightning scar reached when she did. Numb, actually. It was all in her head, but she still didn't like it.
"Well, we'll feed you chamomile tea and I'll relocate to your room like last time until we get rid of them again," Sirius said.
"Sleepovers," Lily smiled. "We can braid each other's hair and eat cookie dough too."
"Just don't tell Remus, he's afraid of salmonella."
"Madam Pomfrey has no idea when he'll wake up," Remus reminded her gently. "Why don't you go get some sleep, I'll sit with him..."
"No," Lily repeated, her fingers tightening around the arm of the chair. "I'm not moving."
She had previously threatened to tie herself down with a sticking charm when Sirius had tried.
"I'll get you a cup of tea, then," Remus said quietly, before leaving Lily and Harry alone. He was still fast asleep, or so Lily hoped. There was no way to tell…
"Lily, my dear…"
She turned around, ready to bat Sirius away this time, but it was Dumbledore.
"Minerva told me you'd come."
"Of course I came," Lily said, rising. "He's my son, and he's… I thought he'd be safe at Hogwarts."
"Harry found himself in trouble none of us imagined he would," Dumbledore said.
"That kind of trouble shouldn't have been here in the first place, not in a school," Lily said. She tightened her cardigan around her. Well, Remus' cardigan actually. Hers now. "Can you… what happened?"
"It seems that Professor Quirrell had made a rather strange acquaintance during his travels," Dumbledore said.
"Voldemort," Lily said quietly.
If Lily hadn't known Dumbledore at the peak of the Order of the Phoenix' activity, she wouldn't have noticed the twitch of his face.
"I've been having dreams," she said quietly. "I thought they were nothing."
"What kind of dreams?" Dumbledore said.
"I'm no diviner."
"I'm well-aware," Dumbledore said. "But there is more than one way to know the world. But let us lay out the facts of this particular encounter…"
He gave Lily a brief description of what Ron, Hermione, and Neville had relayed, and told Lily what he himself had seen when he'd made his way to the final room—Harry, unconscious, and Quirrell, dying.
"He came for my son again, then," Lily said quietly.
"He did," Dumbledore said.
"There's no shortage of Dark Magic in this world. He found a way to put his foot back in the door, and he'll find another way yet and do it again. You must have known that it wasn't over yet," Lily said.
"I have had my suspicions," Dumbledore admitted.
"But you were there on that night in Godric's Hollow when... You saw the body just like I did," Lily said. "You saw the Aurors carry it away. I thought he was dead."
Angry tears stung her eyes. She didn't want to believe it. She didn't want it to be true. It wasn't fair, it couldn't be fair. James had died that night. He had given his life for them, for her and Harry. Voldemort had to be dead too. There wasn't… this couldn't be a halfway thing.
"There may be a spectrum between life and death that we are as of yet unaware of," Dumbledore said quietly.
"What do you mean?" Lily asked.
"Nothing, yet," Dumbledore said. "These are just the musings of a very old man."
"I want to hear them. All of them. You need to tell me everything about this," Lily said, wiping her eyes. "He tried to kill me that night in Godric's Hollow and I will carry the scar and the pain of it for the rest of my life. I deserve to know. And even more importantly, I'm Harry's mother. That prophecy isn't going anywhere. If Voldemort is still… out there, somehow, then he won't stop looking for Harry now."
"No, he won't," Dumbledore agreed.
"He got too close," Lily said. "Much too close, and under your watch."
"I know."
"You need to do better," Lily said. "Especially now that we know just how real the threat is. This can never happen again."
"I will do everything in my power," Dumbledore said.
"No," Lily said. "You will do everything in your power and more, because that's what I have done for this child every day for the last eleven years. That's what James would be doing if he was still here. That's what James did, ten years ago. If Hogwarts isn't safe, no place will be, and I… I can't live with that. I tried for years, and I can't. I need to have faith in something."
"I will try to earn that, my dear," Dumbledore said. "But for now, Harry is safe. Madam Pomfrey expects that he will need quite a bit of rest but will make a full recovery. Did you hear that, Mr Weasley?"
Lily spun around. Ron, Hermione, and Neville were standing shyly near the infirmary's entrance. Behind them, even more shyly, was a boy with a round face that made her think of Alice Longbottom.
"We… we just wanted to see how he was, Professor," Hermione said shyly. Ron had quite the ugly gash on his cheek, and Neville's wrist was bandaged.
"Come in sweethearts," Lily said. "I think we're done for now, yes professor?"
"Yes," Dumbledore said. "For now."
But, and Lily was sure of it, not for good.
Harry was adamant that he didn't want to miss the feast; he wanted her to pick him up at King's Cross as if this were a regular school year. On her way out of Hogwarts, the castle hadn't changed at all since she'd been a student there, but Lily figured that she'd done enough of that for the both of them.
She wanted to see Flitwick, and on her way to his office was drawn to another room. It was the Room of Requirement, which the Marauders had showed her mostly because it pissed them off that they couldn't find a way to make it appear on that map. What was unusual, however, was that the door was waiting for her in the hallway when she walked in.
Curious, Lily opened the door. Inside was a mirror, a single mirror. The inscriptions around its side were easy to read and decipher from their original runes, even considering how old they were. The Mirror of Erised.
When Lily looked in the mirror, she had to smile. She knew it would be him. Of course it would be, who else- what else? James looked at her with that goofy grin on his face that showed up as a de facto expression, wearing the button-down speckled with tiny deers that he'd worn the first time he'd met his parents. Puns give me courage, he'd said. That's not technically a pun, she had nagged.
He looked a little older, however. Time had passed, but its changes were subtle. The frame of his glasses had changed. His face had slimmed down. That thick, crazy mane of his had calmed down a bit, the same as Remus' hair was doing. The smile lines around his eyes and at the corner of his lips seemed a little more fixed, like Sirius'.
"You're right," she mused to the mirror. "I do wish he was here. But I don't think he can be my deepest desire when I've already had him. Had him as much as I could have."
The James in the mirror's smile broadened, then the image flickered for a minute. The change was subtle, tiny even, but the dark-haired man in the mirror was wearing different clothes and different glasses and the eyes blinking back at Lily's were her own contribution to the genetic pool.
This. This was more like it. A safe, happy Harry outliving his father.
When Lily sat down, she curled up between Remus and Sirius, who made space for her.
"It's not over," Lily said.
"I'm sorry," Remus said quietly.
Sirius threw an arm over her shoulder and kissed her hair.
"I need… I need to do something," Lily said. "Last time, I joined the Order. I spent all those extra hours learning to duel. I… I don't want to wait for something bad to happen. Especially not with Harry on the line. But I don't know what to do"
"Would learning how to become an Animagus help?" Remus asked quietly.
It was Harry's first night home, so Lily wasn't entirely surprised that he'd gone to spend time at his favourite spot under the alder tree.
Lily went to join him, bringing hot chocolate with her. When she sat next to him, he let her put an arm around her and pull him closer and play with his hair. He was, after all and before anything else, a child. The baby she'd been the first person in the world to know about and love and feel. The baby she had held to her chest, whose head she had kissed before looking up to meet James' gaze over a decade ago, saying nothing will touch him. I don't care who wants to try. James had agreed.
"I have a story about your father to tell you," Lily said.
Harry looked up at her, surprised. For years, Lily had let Sirius and Remus give Harry his fix of James. But now…
She had to remember that even if he was still her baby, he'd grown now, and he was going to grow up faster than Lily would like whether she liked it or not.
"It's a good story," Lily promised.
"You don't talk about him a lot," Harry said.
"It hurts," Lily said frankly. "It really, really hurts and I thought… I thought I'd spare you that. To be perfectly honest, maybe I was sparring myself too. But he would be so, so proud of you."
"We didn't win the House Cup, though," Harry said.
"He'd be proud of the person you're becoming," Lily said. "Regardless of Quidditch. He'd be proud of your courage, your strength, the amount of love you have for your friends. Just like I am. He'd also tell you to be a bit less like him sometimes, and take care of yourself. To be careful, be patient, know the rules before you break them… He loved you, from the moment he met you, when you were born. He loved you before that, actually. But part of our story Harry, is that we'll never know for sure what your father would say because he never got a chance to be with us. Whatever the case, I think you need to start hearing more about him."
Harry took a sip of his hot chocolate and then settled down with his head on Lily's knee. She played with his hair and smiled at his default storytelling position, as if he was four years old and she was simply reading The Tales of Beetle the Bard. But this time, Lily had so many stories that they nearly stayed up until dawn.