Just Go with It

(Saturday Afternoon, June 29th)

How could he have been so stupid. Ben had thought that if he'd just rationed it out then he'd be fine, but it was naïve of him to think he could spend the weekend at a vegetarian's home with nothing more than a single box of jerky. He's managed to go days without meat before, but he had also been avoiding people. Here and now, the more people who have started to arrive, the more it's got his teeth on edge, and thanks to his binge the other night, he has nothing left to bite into. He opens the freezer and notices a popsicle, "This might work."

"Cool," Chad comments. "Are we raiding Aziz's kitchen?"

Ben frowns a he leaves the popsicles alone, slowly shuts the freezer, and turns around, "Funny." He sees Chad's wide grin, "What?"

"Nothing," he points a finger. "It's just, you look so annoyed."

"I'll bite you," he slightly nods, and Chad laughs. "Are you high right now?"

"Not really," he chuckles again.

Ben moves forward, "And what happened to all those chemicals?"

"You said you didn't like them," Chad reasons.

He smiles, "You stopped wearing cologne just for me?"

Chad nods, "Yes."

Ben laughs, "You're such a…"

"A what?"

Ben's smile falters, "You smell so good." before he places his hand on his chest and pushes him towards the counters.

"Woah," Chad nervously says, as he tightly holds the counters' edge.

He breathes, and that bittersweet scent engulfs him. He could have him now. He could have him now, and his friend would see the monster he really is. He must resist. Chad is religious and terribly ignorant of any problems other than his own. He'd never forgive him, but if he could have just one taste. Ben eyes over him. Maybe he would understand. Worse case scenario, he can just get Mal to erase his mind later, but he needs him now. His mouth opens wider. He needs him now. "Ben!"

Ben turns with startled eyes, before his father's eyes move past him, "Chad. Go."

Chad looks between Ben and his father, before he holds his ground, "No."

Ben shuts his eyes. He should have never told him about his father's abuse. If even he can't hold his own against his father, then there's no way Chad will stand a chance. "No?" Ben's father disbelieves. "Do I need to get your parents? Leave. Now." Chad's expression suddenly falls, and he scurries to the arch. Ben's father turns back to him and eyes him over, "You're coming with me."

"Why?" he softly speaks.

"Come," his eyes widen, and when Ben hesitantly steps forward, his father moves out the kitchen and Ben follows him towards the stairs. He hears Ben's steps stop, and he turns, making a sad noise, as he notices him halted at the bottom of the stairs. He frowns, "Come on. We need to talk about this in closed courters." His father continues up the stairs, and Ben follows him; however, when they reach to top his father's criticisms continue, "I don't believe it. Out of all the places, how could you be so foolish?"

"We weren't doing anything," Ben denies, and his father scoffs. "Come on, Father. I have a girlfriend. I'm not gay." They stop in front of the bedroom door, and his father slowly turns, eyeing him in suspicion. "What? I'm not."

"What makes you think that I think you're a homosexual?"

"Well," Ben falters, before he awkwardly smiles. "Didn't you think we were doing something we weren't supposed to be doing?"

"I thought you were doing something you shouldn't be," he clarifies. "I didn't think you were doing that."

Ben's eyes shift, "Oh."

"So, why did you think I thought that?" his father inquires again.

Ben wets his lips, "It's just, Mal. She's concerned about how close I can be with Chad."

"Should she be concerned?"

His eyes shift, "I have a girlfriend."

"Who also has a girlfriend," he counters.

"Evie's not her—"

"Do we need to worry?" his father stares him down.

Ben eyes the floor and wets his lips, "Mal can make whatever choices she wants." before he meets his piercing blue eyes. "But I don't see myself with a guy, Chad or not."

His father nods, "Alright, then." before he opens the door and waits for Ben to walk in. Ben hears the door shut, and he swiftly turns around. His father gestures to the bed, "Take a seat." Ben glances over but doesn't move. "I said, take a seat."

When Ben moves towards the bed and sits, he watches his father unzip the suitcase, "What's this about?"

"I know what you were really going to do to Chad."

Ben makes a noise, "Father." before he notices the cooler get pulled out. "I really don't know what you're—"

"Save your lies for your mother," he interrupts, before he faces him. "You're my son. I know you." Ben opens his mouth to speak, but then his father moves to sit next to him, "Look. I know that I haven't been the best father, but you are still my son and I want to you survive."

Ben shakes his head, "I don't understand."

"You've lived a privileged life," he informs, "and you're a growing boy. I imagine your hunger must be worse than ever."

"My hunger," he unsurely repeats.

His father opens the cooler and takes out a zip lock bag of cut steak, "And growing boys need meat."

Ben glances from the meat to his father, "Aziz doesn't need meat."

His father takes a moment, "Well, most humans don't." before he faces him. "But you're my son, and you've never fared well without it." Ben quiets, and his father hands him the bag. "Even humans can convert to cannibalism in desperate times. For people like us, our need for meat makes it that much more…"

"Tempting," Ben finishes.

"Your mother has pointed out that with so many people on this planet that it makes sense that some of us would have more of a meaty appetite." He continues to frown, "It's meant to preserve resources and keep people from fighting over food so often."

Ben hesitates, "What about you?"

"It's just one package," he reassures. "There's plenty more." Ben looks down at the cold steak. "And this, it's an emergency. In this society, we survive by being the best humans we can be. Biting your friend's head off isn't going to help us with that." He keeps silent, taking a portion of steak from the bag and biting into the cold, juicy meat. There's that taste of iron that comes from the stale blood that had put him off during the restaurant dinner his mother had encouraged him to pace himself at, but the sweetness and smoky taste overcomes that this time. It's actually quite pleasant. He shoves the rest of the piece into his mouth, shredding it with his teeth, as he reaches for the next. "You should take your time. You will feel fuller if you think you've eaten longer."

Ben halts, shutting his mouth and resting the hand that holds the next piece, "Dad."

He shifts in his seating, "Yes?"

"It's hard," he faces him, and tears intrude his eyes. "It's really hard."

"What is?"

"All of it," Ben half laughs. "It's just so hard." He gulps and wets his lips, "I'm just always so hungry. Nothing helps, and I'm just so tired and eating and eating and…" He shakes his head, and when the tears leave his eyes, he hurries to wipe them away. "And it just gets worse, and…" The thought finishes, and his frown deepens in realization, "I want to tear everyone apart, just engulf myself, and…" He lets out a breath, his pitch raising, "It's like it doesn't even that they're a person. I could know them personally, and I will still find a way to rationalize it, tell myself that it's okay or there will be no consequences, that they will be okay with it and we can continue on as we always have." He notices his father stare down at the floor, "You're disappointed." Ben looks away from him, "I know. It's crazy."

"Ben," his father solemnly responds, and he waits for his son to face him. "There is no shame in this, but it is something we're going to have to deal with when we get home."

Ben's eyes shift, "Please, don't tell Mom. I don't want her to hate me— or be afraid."

"You think about her that way."

He casts his eyes down, "It's just, she smells so… irresistible." before he shakes his head. "And she would never hug me again if she knew."

"You don't want her to hug you, though," his father assumes. "It would be hard for you."

"I don't want to hurt her," Ben confirms, "but… I can't let go. I can't make her stay away, because…"

"Because?" his father concerns.

"I want her," Ben admits. "Any way to just be closer." His father doesn't speak, and he looks back at him, "Please, say something."

"What about other people?" he cautiously asks. "Is it the same?"

Ben pauses, "With Mal, maybe, and Chad, at least."

"So, is it just that you can't let the opportunity go?" his father evaluates. "Is it more that it's just safe to have… food nearby."

Ben takes a moment, "All I know is I want them."

"In what way?"

He hesitates, "Well, with Mother I assume it's just… you know, but I really don't know. With Mal I'll be offering heat one minute and trying not to tear into her throat the next." He thinks, "All I know is when there's a scent I like, I just want it. I never really know how." Ben places an elbow on his knee and leans his forehead onto his hand. "I'm so confused."

"You will be able to tell the difference once your hunger is solved."

Ben whispers, "And if it never goes away?"

"It will," his father reassures. "I'll make sure of it."

After Ben exits the hall Chad immediately questions, "What happened?"

"Well," he hesitates, before he notices his father enter to the living room. He gives Ben a look, and Ben puts his hands in his pockets and attempts to smile to show he won't cause any trouble; however, when his father starts down the stairs, he takes his hands out again and sighs. "Look. Chad. About earlier—"

"Don't worry about it," he partly smiles.

Ben's mouth gapes, "I need you to know… You do know what I'm talking about?"

"In the kitchen," he nods.

"Yeah," Ben scratches the back of his head.

"You don't need to worry," Chad frowns. "I get it."

Ben looks over him, "You do?"

"Yeah," he makes a face. "You needed someone to comfort you, romantically, and Mal's not here." He eyes off, "You only did that to me, because I was."

"Right," Ben slowly says. "Chad." He meets his greyish blue eyes, his mouth hanging open in explanation. As far as excuses go, this would be an embarrassing one, but at least it gets him out of having to tell him the truth. Chad doesn't need to know the truth, especially not here. He's really good at making a scene. "Oh, God," Ben's breath escapes him, as the tart scent overpowers him.

Chad smiles, "Something wrong?"

He shakes his head, "You still smell so good." and he presses his palms on his shoulders, his fingers clutching onto the blue shirt.

He notices Ben's eyes widen in desire and tilts his head towards the hall, "Why don't we take this to a bedroom?" and Ben cautiously eyes over him. "You clearly need more comfort."

Ben's eyes roll, "What the hell?" before he moves a hand to Chad's back, strides down the hall with him, and pushes him towards the bed, before he locks the door. He walks towards him, noticing Chad's amused expression, "Shut up." before pushing him back onto the bed.

"I didn't say anything," he laughs. Ben comes nearer, moves towards the right of his neck, and Chad stares up at the ceiling fan as he feels the sucking on his neck.

Ben shakes his head and backs off, "I'm sorry. I'm making things weird."

Chad gives him a look, "It's not like you're trying to go down on me. It's a hickey. Just go with it."

"Really?" he disbelieves.

Chad shrugs, "I have gone without any activity for… well, since… the school year, so I could really use some connection too."

"Alright," Ben slightly nods, before he moves in towards the neck again. The tart tease of taste should be off-putting. The bitterness is strong, but he can't help but keep giving it another chance. He's missed it. It's that kind of taste you think you'll never have again, but then a week later you're itching for more. It's so close, yet so far. If only he could have it for real. He imagines how the red liquid would flow, as he takes the skin with two front teeth and bites.

Chad feels the pinch and winces. All the things he's done, this really isn't his kind of kink. "Ben?" he hesitates. "What are you doing?"

Ben sucks once more, but the blood is so miniscule that it dissipates on his tongue. He moves back and notices Chad's expression, before he looks down at his hands. He got caught. He thought that maybe he'd be able to get away with something small, but he was wrong. He faces Chad and takes a breath, "What would you say if I told you I have a fetish for blood?"

"That's kind of gross," he points out.

Ben brings a hand to the back of his head, "Well, yeah, I know, but…"

"Does Mal let you do this?" Chad's eyebrows furrow.

He sighs, "Mal doesn't even know." and he watches as Chad grins. "What?"

It's nothing, except that he wins again. "Hold on."

Ben watches as Chad takes a multitool from his pocket, and he gazes as it's opened to a small, sharp knife, "I didn't think…"

He raises his eyebrows, "As much as I love you, I don't like love bites." Ben halfheartedly laughs with an unsure, nervous smile. "You get one cut." He hands the tool to him, "So, make it good."

Ben glances from the knife, to Chad's neck, to him, "What if I mess up?"

"You took Anatomy, didn't you?"

"Well, yeah," he unconfidently answers.

"So, don't mess up," Chad concludes, but Ben still fails to move. "Okay. I'll make it easier for you." He sits up, Ben follows suite, and he turns his head, "Go on."

Ben takes a deep breath, hesitantly moving the knife towards Chad's neck, "If my father knew I was doing this, he would be so upset with me."

"Yeah," Chad sympathizes. "So would mine."

Ben makes an incision, and he watches the red liquid stream down before licking the blood up to the wound. He maneuvers Chad back down as he continues to suck. "Where are they?" he hears out from the living room. It's Chad's father.

"They're going to miss dinner," Ben hears his mother's concern and internally rolls his eyes. How is he supposed to focus, knowing they could come in any second. He lets out a breath, recalling that he'd locked the door, before he sucks at the blood again. "Honey?" his mother knocks. "Are you in there?"

"Ignore them," Ben whispers into Chad's ear. "Maybe they'll go away."

"Pumpkin?" someone questions through the door. "Are you in there?"

He lets out a breath, "That's my mom. I need to go."

"Your father's out there too," Ben warns. "You can't just leave my room." He moves in again, "Besides." before he sucks. "We were in the middle of something."

Chad notices the door handle wiggle and pushes Ben off, "They're coming in."

Ben makes a displeased noise, "Okay. I'll go, take them off your scent."

"What? No," his mouth gapes. "You'll get us caught."

"How?" he furiously whispers.

"Because," Chad eyes over him to look for a reason, before he points, "Your teeth are red." He smiles, "So, unless you want to tell Mommy about your sex life—"

"Shut up," Ben interrupts, before he sighs. "Okay. You go."

Chad goes to the door, unlocks it, and opens it just enough for them to see him, "Hey."

Belle laughs, "What are you doing in Ben's room?" before she tries to peer over him. "Is he in there with you?"

"Uh, yeah," Chad quickly answers. "We were talking, but he said he's tired and he's going to take a nap. So, he won't make it to dinner."

His mother places a thumb to his chin to turn his head, "Is that blood?"

"Probably." He excuses, "I thought I should shave."

"But you still have a shadow," his father contradicts.

"Because, I stopped shaving after I got the cut," Chad irritably responds.

His mother takes a closer look, "If I didn't know better, I'd say it looks like you were making out with someone."

"Well, yeah," Chad stumbles. "You know, because there's the cut and it was flowing, but then it stopped bleeding, and now it's colored." Ben hits his palm to his forehead. "You know, because that's how bruises happen with the blood and stuff."

"Okay," his mother laughs off. "You coming to dinner, then?"

"Yeah." He hesitates, "Just let me take care of this cut again."

Belle smiles at his parents, "I'll meet you down in a second. I just want to check on Ben." and Chad freezes as he watches her enter the room. "Honey?"