Hurt

(Wednesday Afternoon, June 3rd)

When Evie walks into the kitchen she halts, as she sees the large pizza, side of chicken alfredo, meaty pasta, and cheese sticks. He looks up from his phone, drops the pizza slice back onto the plate, and Evie steps forward, "Ben." He fails to speak, and she sits across from him, "You know, you've been binging all week."

"Yeah," he whispers. "I know."

She eyes his phone, "What are you watching?"

"Oh." He turns it over, "Just some movie."

"You didn't feel like watching it in your room?"

His eyes shift, "My parents want me to stop eating pizza. I thought the East Wing would be the last place they would go."

Evie looks over the large amount of food, shaking her head, "Ben. Why are you doing this?" She rolls her eyes, "Sorry. That's a stupid question. I hate it when people ask me that. I know why. Just…"

When she lets out a breath, Ben frowns, "No. I get what you're trying to ask." He hesitates, "I just… Well, first thing." Ben takes a breath, "With me I can binge or eat nothing or do both at the same time. Right now, it's just more of the binge part."

"And?" Evie inquires.

He lets out a breath, "I can't stop. Ever since… Chad, it's like nothing's good enough. Everything just tastes bad now, and it doesn't really help. So, I've just been… like this."

"You're still thinking about Chad's blood," she realizes.

Ben cringes, "I know it's weird."

"Stop saying it's weird," she lets out a breath. "We're past that. Okay? You can be honest with me. And Mal."

"I just…" His heart quickens, and he takes a drink of the Diet Coke, "It had this taste, not like anything else."

Evie's eyebrows furrow, "What did it taste like?"

He shakes his head, "Like… I forget. It's that taste animals get when something they eat can hurt them. It's to keep them from eating it, but now that I had it, it's all I can think of."

"Bitter?" she questions, and he lifts a shoulder. "You know what it is, don't you?" His mouth slightly opens, but his eyes show he doesn't know. "It's the drugs, Ben," Evie sternly eyes him. "The blood tasted bitter, because he's a drug addict. It got into his bloodstream, and now it's in you. You want his blood, because you want the drugs."

"It's just a script," Ben dismisses. "When I take stuff, it has to be twice the amount for it to do anything."

"And how much do you think Chad is taking?" Evie counters, and Ben looks off as he makes a disgruntled noise. "You know, drinking his blood wasn't the smartest thing to do."

Ben faces her, "Look. I don't have a drug problem. I just want him, because he tastes different. That's it. It's not the drugs I'm after."

"You don't get it," she folds her arms. "Chad's your drug. I don't care if the blood isn't making you high. It's a unique taste you're getting addicted to."

"Unique?" he repeats.

"Different," she asserts. "Your body wants his blood because it's different, and I bet you're binging because you're looking for that taste and can't find it anywhere else."

"So?" Ben dismisses. "Let's say you're right. What, then?"

It takes her a minute, "Is Chad coming to your birthday party?"

He gives her a look, "Of course, he is."

"You should make sure he doesn't," she opinionates.

"Why?" Ben yells.

"Tell me," she evenly responds, "when Chad comes, are you going to be able to keep your hands off of him?"

Ben half laughs, "That's…" before he wets his lips. "You know what? If I want Chad, I'll have Chad. And I don't care what you or Mal, my father, or anyone else thinks."

Evie nods, "That's what the voice wants. Now, what do you want?"

"I," Ben hurriedly debates, before he falters. "I, uh… I just… I want to be close to Chad, I want to sink my teeth in his neck, and I… I want to have all of him." He places a hand to head, before he shakily says, "I'm sick."

Evie frowns, "I don't think those are the things you want."

"But it would feel so good to do it," Ben counters, and he lets out a breath. "You know, I thought about that with Mal too." He faces her, and she sees the tears in his eyes. "Do you want me to stay away from her too?"

"You can tell Mal when you're not doing good," Evie softly says. "Chad doesn't know, does he?"

"He thinks it's a sex thing. Which," Ben solemnly laughs, "who the hell knows if it is or not. I don't know. I'm just so messed up, and… I can't think anything through." He shakes his head, "I'm a pute. I got him off, just so I could have more of it. I moved in on him, just so I could have it." He eyes the table, "I was thinking he would say no, you know. I thought if I made the move, he would put me in my place… But he didn't, and now…" He calms as his temperature raises, "How am I going to have him here? What are we going to talk about after what I did to him?"

"With him," Evie corrects. "I don't think he cared." Ben keeps silent, and she suggests, "You could uninvite him, make sure he doesn't come and give you guys some time to readjust."

"Yeah." He realizes, "I can't do it, though. He likes these things. He will make sure I let him come. He's good at getting me to do things."

"It has to be you." She explains, "He respects you."

"I can't do it," Ben eyes her. "I can't say no to him. He turns it around and—"

"It's okay," Evie interrupts. "I'll do it with you."

He nods, "Okay." before he reaches for his phone. "Okay."

When Ben hears the knock on the office door, he calls out, "Come in, Mal."

She opens the door and shuts it behind her, "How did you know it was me?"

"You smell like smoke," he simply says.

"Smoke?"

He lifts his eyes from the paperwork and reassures, "In a good way."

"Right." She moves on, stepping forward, "Well, your mom wants me to get you for dinner. We're having spaghetti."

Ben complains, "Spaghetti again?" before he shakes his head. "Tell her I'm too tired."

"Ben," Mal sternly says.

"No," he interrupts. "Okay?" He runs a knuckle over his forehead, "I'm not feeling well."

"A fever?" she frowns, and when he tries to burry himself back into his work, she walks up to his desk. "Let me help."

He shakes his head, "No."

"Ben," she halfheartedly laughs.

"I don't feel good," he interrupts.

"That's why I want to help."

When she reaches below his cheek to lift his chin, Ben looks from her wrist to her eyes, "Mal. Take your hand off, now." She complies, but the smoky sweet scent still hovers over him, "I don't feel good right now. You understand?"

"No, Ben," she eyes him. "I don't."

He wets his lips, "Look. I want it."

"Want what?"

Ben looks off, "Are you really going to make me say it?" before he faces her. "Blood, Mal. I'm craving blood, and if we do anything right now, I will hurt you."

"Oh." There's silence as she eyes over him, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, Mal," he irritably responds. "I don't want to talk about it."

She hesitates, "What can I do?"

"You can get out of here."

"Ben," she begins.

He stands from his seat, "I said, get out of here." but when she doesn't react, his eyes move down to her neck.

"Ben?"

"I want you," he whispers, but he can't get to her. The desk is in the way.

"Ben?" she asks again, and he reaches for her, placing one hand on her arm and the other behind her neck, pulling her forward and biting into her soft skin. There's that warm flow of blood, flushing his face as he drinks, and he hears the knocking, as Mal pushes things off the desk, trying to press herself away from him.

"Ben," he hears his mother call out, and he widens his eyes when the door opens. "It's time for dinner."

Ben swiftly turns back to Mal, and there she is in one piece. He continues to stare at her, and she takes a step back, "Ben's not feeling good."

Ben turns back to his mother, taking in her frown as she draws near him. She places a hand to his cheek, and Mal watches carefully. "You do feel warm." She lets go of him and smiles, "How about you rest, and I'll go get you some dinner?"

"I'm not hungry," he lies.

"You can have ice cream after to help cool you off," she negotiates.

He narrows his eyes, "I said no." as their scents set his teeth on edge. "Now, can you get the fuck out of my room?"

His mother gasps, "I'm just trying to help."

"Well, I'm tired of your help," Ben yells. "And I'm tired of you two just being here, so go." He breathes, "Please." and Mal can see the shimmering in his eyes.

"I'm not leaving you here when you're like this," she assets.

"Belle," Mal loudly interrupts. "I can help him."

They share a look, and after the brief silence, Belle takes a breath, "Alright." before giving Ben a final look and heading back out of the office.

The tears leave Ben's eyes, and Mal asks, "Are you okay?"

"No," he makes a face. "I'm not okay. I'm losing my mind, I'm hungry as hell, and now she hates me."

"If you're hungry, then why didn't you want dinner?"

"Because," Ben enunciates. "I already had half a pizza, part of two pastas, and five cheese sticks. Whatever feeling I'm feeling, it's not hungriness."

"No," Mal glances down before meeting his hazel green eyes. "It's a very specific hunger, something a pizza isn't going to help." She moves around the desk to wipe the tears from his face, and she feels the warmness. "You need to cool down."

Ben's mouth gapes, as his teeth tense, "Mal."

She notices some duct tape and pulls off a strip, "Shh." and when his mouth shuts, she places the tape over it and moves a hand to his cheek. "It's okay." She hears him release a breath before maneuvering him over to the pull-out bed. He lays down, and she hovers over him. He feels her cold lips on his neck, and he shivers as the scent becomes greater. He moves his head more into her neck, taking in the smell, before she feels the smooth tape move along her neck. She can hear the slight removal of it. He's trying to escape, but of course he is. He can't help himself. It should be expected. All she can do is hope she cools him down enough before he does, and then they can discuss his other problem; however, it's only a few minutes later that she hears the pained noise and leans up, removing her hands from under his shirt and noticing his eyes tearing up, before he finally pulls the duct tape from his mouth. "Ben?"

"It hurts," he whimpers. "It really hurts."

Mal hears his stomach rumble loud and slow, as though it were a dying animal, and her eyes widen, "That's…"

"It's like knots or stabs or something," Ben grunts.

"It's cramps," she realizes. "You have stomach cramps." She notices him staring at her, his mouth hung open, "Ben?" before he eyes down her arm and grabs her wrist. "Hey," Mal warns as she tugs it back, and once she's freed, he meets her eyes; however, they're not the Ben she knows. The dilated pupils and black ring make the eyes appear almost black, predatory. "It's going to be okay." She stands up, "I'll be back." before she hurries out the door.

By the time Mal makes it to the dining room, she's nearly out of breath, "Carlos." He looks at her, and she nods him over.

"Where's Ben?" Belle questions.

"Fine," Mal immediately answers. "He's doing fine."

"What?" Carlos's eyebrows furrow. "Did you put him in a coma or something?"

"No, I did not put him in a coma," Mal stresses. "I just need your advice."

"My advice?" he disbelieves.

"Yes. Your advice," she hisses. "Now, come on."

Carlos stands from the chair, but Mal doesn't say anything even after they start down the stairs. "Are you sure you didn't give him hypothermia?" Mal swiftly turns to him, and he sees her eyes flicker. "Whoa."

"How do you feel about knives?"

"Um," Carlos hesitates. "Not in the heart?"

Mal looks off for a split second before facing him, "I mean, things that feel like knives. Or— you've had sex. Being bit, is that something you're okay with?"

He hesitates, "Jay never bit me."

"Of course, he didn't," she lets out a breath.

"Mal," Carlos gives a look. "What's this about?"

She huffs, moving a hand over her hair, "Ben. He's really hurting, and I don't know what else to do."

"Oh," he realizes.

"He really needs someone," she informs.

Carlos looks up at her, "I won't get mauled, will I?"

Mal nervously smiles, "Maybe try the wrist and not the neck right now." before she places a hand on his shoulder and guides him to the office.

When they enter, Ben sits up and awes at them, watching as she nudges Carlos and he steps forward. "Mal," he looks from him to her. "What is this?"

She takes a moment, "I brought you dinner."

He glances at Carlos before shaking his head hard, "Uh, uh. No way."

"Ben," Mal begins.

"No." His eyes widen, "This isn't happening." before Carlos sits on the other end of the bed and Ben looks at him. "You smell like sugar."

"Um," Carlos thinks. "Thank you."

Ben forces his eyes from him, "Mal. I don't want to do this."

"I know," she frowns, "but I also know you don't have a choice." He shakes his head again, as he folds his hands tight. "Ben. No one has to know. This can stay between us."

He looks back up, "But him—"

"He doesn't mind," Mal looks over. "Do you, Carlos?"

Ben turns to him, and he excuses, "I have a high pain tolerance."

It takes him a moment, "So, this won't hurt you?"

Carlos makes a face, "Well, we'll just have to see about that." Ben continues to stare at him, and Carlos asks, "Mal. Can you give us some privacy?"

She slowly nods, "Yeah. I can do that." and she keeps an eye on them, until the last moment when the door closes.

Posted: 05/10/2019

Megan First off, I listened to the song... I like a lot of Taylor's stuff. Actually, coincidently, I was just having Chad talk about her; however, I really don't like happy things or happy people (not that I don't like people being happy, but there's just some people who have never had any problems in their life and the types of things they obsess over or worry about can just be annoying). So, in short, this song just wasn't for me. I simply don't have the self-esteem for it. As far as the new descendants movie goes, I remember being excited when I first heard about it. Now, I just hope it compares to the first two. Disney doesn't like covering deep issues, and it's hard for them to make decent trilogies because of it (in my opinion). The first movie or two will tend to cover decent issues or allegories for those issues at least (Lilo and Stich is an entire movie about immigration), but it never gets deeper than that because they're afraid of directness and all that. So, I am more excited about where my stories are heading than the new movie, but I will be watching the new descendants movie and I sincerely hope it does the first two movies justice. If I think it's good enough and so long as it still fits in, I'll even make it cannon to this fanfiction series. That does, however, depend on how well it would blend into this series. If they do a time jump where Ben and Mal are married in twenty years with all their problems solved, then obviously I'm not going to be able to incorporate that. I intend for everyone to always have problems, just as life intends for all of us. There are no happy endings, just decent living conditions... Actually, knowing me, the series wouldn't end happy. We can always hope it will, but just saying, anyone looking for a happy ending should just focus on the nice parts. This is the story of their lives, as life is... And I'm tired.