Have Me Now

(Friday Morning, July 13th)

When Carlos walks into Evie's room, she stands up, "Are you okay?"

"I'm going to need to steal one of your headbands," he evenly responds.

Her thin brows furrow, "Why?" as she steps towards him. He slowly turns his wrist over, and she sighs, "Oh, Carlos."

"Anyway," he continues, "if Belle sees she's going to worry, and we don't want Adam getting on Ben's case, so…"

She goes over to the desk to grab a black headband, before she strides back to him, "Here." He wraps the soft mesh around his wrist, and she shakes her head, "I told Ben it was a bad idea to see you like that."

"It's fine," Carlos dismisses.

"No, it's not," Evie insists. "You have a hole in your wrist. You don't know what damage has been done or if your hand will even move the same."

Carlos holds up his hand and flexes his fingers, "I'm fine."

She sighs again, "Where is Ben?"

"Cooling off," he glances down. "He kind of got feverish, so… yeah."

"Feverish?" she questions.

"Well, yeah," Carlos comments. "Even his medicine's not helping right now."

Evie places a hand to her head, "I need to sit."

Carlos guides her over to the bed, "Here."

She sits down and looks up at him, "So, Ben. He's like… He's sicker, now?"

"I think it's stress," Carlos contemplates. "His father was so ruff on him, and you know how things with his mother are."

"I can only imagine how Ben must feel," she frowns, "loving someone who's in love with such a…"

"Beast?" he offers.

"Monster," Evie faces him. "Did you see Belle? She didn't even do anything."

"She talked to him," Carlos corrects.

"Still," Evie sadly states. "It must be so crushing."

Carlos eyes off, "Must suck to love your mother like that."

She examines him, "Carlos."

"I just mean," he scratches the back of his neck, "that it must suck to… you know."

"You miss her, don't you?" Evie asks.

"No," Carlos counters. "Jay was right. I just miss the way she fucked me over." He shuts his eyes and sits next to her, "Why am I so messed up?"

"We're all messed up," Evie inputs.

"Yeah, but," Carlos lets out a breath before facing her. "I've had dreams about her, dreams where she chains my hands above my head and…"

"You don't need to say anything," she says. "I know."

"And all I can think about is just going back there to see her."

"You don't like your mother like Ben likes his," Evie softly speaks.

He meets her dark brown eyes, "And the dreams?"

She takes a moment, "Maybe you liked the way your mother hurt you, but that doesn't mean you like her like that." She quiets, "You're just thinking about her, because she's the only one that's been willing to hurt you like that." Carlos eyes down. "I think, maybe, what you really need is to just move on and find someone who hurts you—and not because they're angry or evil—but because they care about you and know you need it."

"I'm starting to think there is no one else," Carlos mumbles. "I mean, it's not like Jay was ever comfortable… He doesn't mind killing, but when it comes to this…"

Evie watches him shake his head, "There's someone out there for you."

"This is Auradon," he whispers. "No one here's going to want me, not if they have to do that." He stands from the bed, "Thank you for the headband."

"Carlos."

"I have to go check on Ben," Carlos interrupts, before he saunters out of the room.

"Feeling better?" Carlos questions, as he notices Ben sitting back on the bed.

"Yeah," Ben nods. "A bit. I'll have to go out to buy more medicine, though." Carlos nods in return, and he hesitates, "Look. Uh." He stands up, "What happened with the…"

"The hand job," Carlos supplements.

Ben awkwardly smiles, "Is it a hand job, if you never actually touched it?" Carlos shrugs, and he continues, "Anyway, um. No more of that. If we do this again, it's not going to be with that part in it. Okay?"

"Okay," Carlos accepts.

"Alright, then."

After Ben walks past him, Carlos starts, "If you don't mind me asking…" and Ben twists back around. "Why don't you like sex?"

Ben wets his lips, "I'm not sure. I think, maybe…" He lets out a breath, and his eyes shift, "I don't get to be myself when I'm put in that… when I do that thing with someone."

"What do you mean?"

He shakes his head, "I don't know how else to say it. It's just… it's better with Mal. It is, but… I still feel like things are—that there's things that would be wanted of me, things that I don't like to do all the time. And then there's the sense thing. Everything just smells too much."

"How's it better with Mal?" Carlos questions.

Ben scratches the back of his head, "Well."

"Is it, maybe, because she's more assertive?" he suggests.

"Assertive?" Ben asks.

"I've seen you talk with her or, uh, her flirt with you," Carlos informs. "Do you maybe like being the one things are getting done to?"

Ben takes a minute, "Maybe." before he frowns at him. "Does that make me weird?"

"No," Carlos answers. "There's someone out there for you."

"Someone other than Mal," Ben interprets.

"Ben," Carlos starts.

"No," he interrupts. "I know." His eyes lower, "She should have better." Ben takes a deep breath before facing him, "I had my chance, and I lost her."

"Oh," Belle remembers. "I got a voicemail from Fairy Godmother. I'm supposed to keep you two apart." She points a fork between Ben and Carlos, "So, no mingling."

"Mingling?" Ben questions. His mother says a word in French, and he nods, "Right." He shares a look with Carlos before drinking from his protein shake, "Okay."

She sighs, "You need more than that."

"Until I have money," Ben frowns, "I'm having what I have." He shakes his head, "I spent the last of my money on that stupid medicine."

Belle widens her eyes at her husband, "Adam."

"He's made his choice," he immediately responds.

"Why do you always have to be so stubborn?" she questions. "This is his life we're talking about."

"Things can't be that bad," Adam dismisses, "if he's still buying soda."

Ben stands from his seat, "I'm going to the office."

"Ben," his mother calls after him, but he continues on into the hallway, down the staircase, and across the foyer. He opens the office door and goes to pull a twenty-four pack out from under the pull-out couch, hulling it behind his desk, before he sits down and the door opens.

He places a Diet Coke onto the desk, "Not now, Mother."

She strides forward and sets the blender bottle in front of him, "You forgot this."

He moves it aside, "Thanks." before he drinks from the soda.

She sighs, "Please tell me you didn't spend the last of your savings on that." He holds the can closer, and she shakes her head, "Ben. You needed that money."

"I need this," he frowns before taking another drink.

"More than your medicine?" her voice raises. "Why? What about it is so—"

When she places a hand to her head, Ben runs a thumb over the smooth edge, "It's here for me."

"Here for you?" she disbelieves. "That's nothing more than a batch of chemicals created in a lab. I'm your mother. I'm here for you."

Ben stares at the can, whispering, "It doesn't feel like it."

She watches him take another drink, "Ben. I'm trying."

"I know you are."

"Then, what?" she sadly asserts. "What must I do to make you feel like I'm here for you, let you drink from me like you drink from that can?" She gestures towards it, and Ben clutches the can closer. "I'm your mother. You know I would do anything for you."

"I don't want you to."

"You must want something," she insists, moving his bangs away from his face.

Ben grabs her wrist and widens his eyes at her, "I want you." before he stands from the desk and rounds it. "I just want you." He eyes over her, stepping forward, "This one time." before he places one hand on her hip and moves her hair with the other. He takes in her sweet scent, inching forward, and sucks on her neck.

"Ben. Please."

Ben bites his lip, tasting the blood, as his hands grip the can, "I want nothing from you."

"You'd rather have that can?" she doubts.

"Yes."

She watches him finish the can, set it aside, and pull out another one. "Ben?" She moves to see the soda case, and her mouth gapes, "Explain this." Ben eyes away from her and reaches for the can; however, she hurries to grab it.

"Hey." His eyes widen, "That's mine."

"No," she asserts. "We're going to discuss this."

"Give it back," Ben grits his teeth, trying to reach for it, but she keeps it behind her back.

"Why?" she counters.

"It's mine." Ben backs her against the desk, "I want it." before his expression falls. She's so close. Her warm brown eyes and soft lips, inches away, and her neck is so free and open.

"Ben?" she cautiously asks.

"I want you," he frowns, his hands clinging tighter to her arms. He stares at her neck, "If I had all of you, you would be mine forever."

She softly speaks, "You know it doesn't work that way."

"But I really want you, and you smell so good," Ben justifies.

Tears fill her eyes, "Would I die if you do this?"

He whispers, "I just want you to be mine." before he runs a thumb over her mouth. "Your lips are so soft." He hesitates, "May I kiss you? Once?"

"No, you can't kiss me." The tears fall to her cheeks, and he wipes them away. "Ben. This isn't right."

"Then why does it feel so right?"

"I don't know," she immediately responds. "But you know it's not. You wouldn't have put forth boundaries if you didn't."

Ben's mouth cracks open, "I implemented boundaries, because I wanted to be respectful to you and how you felt." She eyes up, and more tears fall. He wipes them away, "Mother."

"How can you call me that?" She shakes her head, "How can you still call me that, knowing you feel the way you feel?"

He lifts a shoulder, "It's just a name."

"Just a name," she sadly breathes, eyeing down.

He tries to lift her chin up, but she looks even further away. "Mother."

She gulps and hands him the soda can, "Is this what you wanted?"

Ben sets it hard onto the desk, "Mother."

She sees his insistent eyes, "Have me now."

"What?" he disbelieves.

"In whatever way you want me," her voice strengthens, "do it now."

Ben wets his lips, "You can't want that."

"Mother is more than just a name," she asserts. "It means I will do whatever to takes to keep you happy and well. If… having me does that for you, then I'll allow it."

Ben gapes at her, "I'm not going to be happy if you're not."

She offers a pained expression, "There must be something I can do for you."

He nods, placing his thumbs in his pockets, "You can leave."

"Ben," she sighs.

"Please," Ben's frown deepens. "I really don't want to hurt you."

She lowers her head and eyes the twenty-four pack, "Whatever you're feeling, I really don't like you trying to use soda to deal with it."

"Give me an alternative."

She faces him, "If drinking from me helps you stop the soda, I would do that for you."

Ben's eyes shift, "I'm not sure it would."

"But we could try it," she pressures.

"Mother," Ben sternly eyes her. "If I drink from you, I won't be able to stop." She quiets, and he scratches the back of his head. "You should go." She doesn't move, merely frowning up at him, before his mouth gapes. "Oh. Right." He takes a step back, but she still doesn't move. Ben awkwardly smiles, "Have a nice night."

She nods with pursed lips, "You too." before she moves out of the room.

The door bangs against the wall, the chair rolls back when Ben stands, and he watches with wide eyes as his father barges into the office. "What did you do?" his blue eyes pierce him.

"I, uh," Ben falters.

His father meets the desk and grab's Ben's collar, "What did you do to her?"

"I—I don't know what you're talking about," he stammers.

"Your mother," he shakes him, and Ben shuts his eyes. "She's been crying for the last three hours." Ben's eyes open and he gulps, before his father gruffly asserts, "Now, tell me. What did you do to her?"

"Nothing," Ben whispers.

His father shoves him towards the wall and makes his way around the desk, "You expect me to believe that?" He traps him against the glass windows, "She talks with you and then becomes a complete wreck for no reason?"

"No," Ben eyes down.

"Then what?" his father hunches over.

Ben faces him, "I asked if I could kiss her, and she said no." His father grumbles, and he tiredly responds, "I swear, I didn't do anything."

"You think that is nothing?" his father softly speaks, and Ben's frown deepens. "You should be disgusted with yourself."

Ben wets his lips, "I know."

He shakes his head, "What am I going to do with you?"

Ben meets his eyes, "You should kill me."

"You would take the easy way out," his father sternly eyes him, "but you must know that if you kill yourself, your mother may not survive either."

When his father fails to explain, Ben shakes his head, "What do you mean?"

"You mean the world to her," he informs. "After trying to have a child for so long… If you decide to leave this world, I may not be enough to keep her here." Ben's eyes shift, and his father continues, "Unless you want to be responsible for your mother's death, you will remain here and suffer the consequences of your actions. Am I clear?"

Ben nods, "Yes."

"Good," his father shifts in his stance. "Since you don't eat with us anymore, you don't need to sit with us either. Have your shakes in here or something."

Ben nods, "You know, I think that's a good idea." and his father suspiciously eyes over him before turning away.