Anyone Else

(Sunday Afternoon, July 22nd)

Ben looks from the scanner to the wall, muttering, "Four. Five. Twenty-four." before checking the price tag for the matching product name and lining the vitamin bottles in a row.

"King Ben?" someone says in surprise, and Ben turns to the young man.

He smiles, "Can I help you?"

His blue eyes widen, "You work here?"

Ben touches the red cap on his head, "Well, I have the hat and name…" before he falters and moves on. "Do you need something?"

"Um," the tall guy offers a curious expression, stepping forward. "Yes. I'd like to get some essential oils and caffeine pills. I have an exam coming up."

Ben takes a moment, "Oils?"

"Essential oils," he repeats. "I need the lemon one to help me focus."

"Do you mean, like the lemon extrait?" he tries to understand.

"Lemon extract?" the customer's eyes narrow, before his voice raises. "No. I'm not cooking with it. I need the oil to scent my room."

Ben's mouth crack open, unable to respond, before his boss comes out of the back room. "Ben." He faces him, and Noah asks in French, "What's the problem?"

He frowns, "Something about… He said 'oils'?"

Noah turns to the customer and questions in English, "You're looking for essential oils?"

"Yes," the man lets out a deep breath.

Noah nods, "They're over here." and Ben watches as they walk to the side wall with the humidifiers and scented substances. That's what an oil is. Ben shakes his head, swipes the boxcutter across the case, and folds it into the large box filled of cardboard.

When he finds where the next box goes, he hears the customer whisper, "What's going on with him?" and when Ben catches them looking at him, they look away.

"There's just some words he doesn't know in English," Noah explains.

"Oils?" he doubts.

"Look." Noah hesitates, "He was in an accident a few months ago. It's just a side effect."

"I don't believe this," he frustrates. "This is supposed to be our king? He can't even understand English."

"Sir," Noah tries to calm.

"All of those people calling in with their concerns," he voices, "is he even listening to them? Or are their voice messages just getting completely ignored now?"

"There's ways to get around language," he tries to reassure.

The voices continue, but they're drowned out as he takes the bottle of iron tables from the box. Mal used this to suppress her appetite on the Isle. Ben's teeth have been driving him crazy, as the tension begs him to bite something. Food's all he's been able to think about, but he's sick of it. He's sick of thinking of food, of eating it. It feels like it's all he's been doing. If he could just stop thinking about it, if he could stop eating for three or five hours straight, he'd have time for other things. He needs that five hours more than ever now that he has a job. The customer has a point; he does need to put more effort into his kingly duties, and if he just didn't have to deal with food anymore, he'd have all the time in the world.

"Ben?" He looks up and sees his boss above him. "How much did you hear?"

Ben softly answers, "Enough to know I'm a bad ruler."

"You're not a bad ruler," Noah's blue eyes widen, and Ben looks down. He kneels to his level, "Ben. You're a good king. Getting injured shouldn't stop you."

"Even King Charming said I should give up the crown if I can't lead the council meetings." His eyes lower, as he murmurs, "I think he's tired of translating for me." before he half laughs. "And then Chad and I fought again, so I don't know."

"Wait." Noah thinks, "You're not the friend he talked about in his video, are you?"

Ben cringes, as his pitch raises, "Does it matter? All that would do is lower Charming's opinion of me even more." He gulps, "I'm just some stupid kid who can't do anything right, who used his father's health to steal the throne. And it's not like I'm any healthier." He scoffs, "I'm no king. I'm not strong like he was… and I don't think I even want to be."

"Ben," Noah tries to reassure, "You're the strongest person I know. The age you got the throne and what you've done with it and still going to school, the kind of… power that let's you do that and carry on like that, that's real strength."

He faces him, "I've tried to kill myself." and watches his expression slip. "I'm not as strong as my parents would like people to think."

"You tried to kill yourself?" Ben nods, and Noah questions, "When?"

Ben's brows raise, "Which time?" He shakes his head, "Sorry. I should be working."

"It's fine," Noah's voice strengthens. "I want you to be able to talk about this."

"My life is a mess," he whispers. "It's always a mess." He feels his forehead, takes the tic-tac case from his pocket, before he sees it's empty. "And I'm out of fucking medicine again." He tosses the case at the wall, before sighing, "I'll pick it up in a minute."

He watches him shut his eyes, "What's the medicine for?"

Ben shakes his head, "High body temperature. I take just enough not to overdose."

"Do you need to make a call for someone to bring more?" Noah unsurely asks.

"There is no more," Ben murmurs. "If there's any hidden around the castle, I couldn't find any. And I tore apart my room and office, but there wasn't any money."

"Can't your parents help you?"

Ben laughs, "Can't my parents help?" and the tears leave his eyes as he grins. "The fight with my dad over that money, I can't ask him for anything. And if my mother knew… If I took a single dollar, I feel like he would stop giving her the small amount she's been allowed."

"Your parents wouldn't let you die," Noah asserts, but Ben fails to agree. He takes a breath, "Hold on a minute." Ben glances as Noah gets up, before he stares at the wall. He pictures his parents finding his body. His father would stand back in shock, as his mother cries over him. No. They wouldn't want him to die. They just don't mind making him wish he was. Noah kneels beside him again, handing him a small case of Tylenol, "Here."

"Thanks," Ben whispers, before he pokes three pills out of the package and stretches his arm to reach his water bottle. "I guess I could ask Evie if I can borrow some money from her again, but I just asked her last week. I'd feel bad doing it again."

He watches him take the medicine, "You know, pay day is this week. If you really need the cash, I could pay you early."

Ben turns to him, "Really?"

"You just have to promise to continue coming." He watches Ben eye the floor, "For five hours four days a week, that's three hundred dollars." Ben still doesn't speak. "It's not like you have a lot of options."

He stares forward, "I could go to sleep and never wake up." before he looks at him. "You know how easy it would be? If I just didn't take any medicine, I could just feel myself become so weak until I fall asleep."

"Ben," Noah pauses, "I need you here."

"Right," he half laughs.

"No. Seriously," he reaffirms. "How many boxes do you have left to stock?"

He lifts a shoulder, "Five?"

"And you started with fifty," he reminds him. "If you do that well when you're new, you could become really useful if you stay."

Ben continues to frown, "You need me?"

"Of course, I need you," Noah expresses. "And, really, we all do. Never mind the good job you did here today. You're our king, and believe or not, you're really great at it." Ben unsurely bites his lip. "Take the advance. Let me help you."

Ben nods, "Okay. I'll take it. And I'll be here every day this week."

"Every day that you work," he corrects.

Ben half smiles, "Every day I work. Yes."

When Ben enters the castle, his mother stands from the alcove sitting area, "You told me your shift ends at eight."

He lifts the shopping bag, "I had to get medicine."

She folds her hands in front of herself and nods, "Well, dinner is going to be cold, but we're having dessert if you'd like to heat something."

"Mother."

"I think you'd really like to come upstairs," she unsurely smiles.

"Mother," Ben says again. "I have to get to the office."

She frowns, "Very well." and before she can say another word, Ben strides across the foyer to enter the office. He shuts the door, heads to the desk, and sits before sorting through his new supplies. There's liquid cold medicine, ibuprofen capsules, iron tablets, beef strips, and flavored water. He places the medicine inside his desk, takes half of the meat snack out, and pulls out an iron tablet. If he could get by with this as a meal, then he'd be able to save so much money. He could get fired and still get by, and if he manages to keep the job, he could save up for a car. He wouldn't need Travis nor his parents' permission to go anywhere. He could come and go as he pleases, but mostly leave. If he can avoid them, there will be no more fights. There will be no more sad looks from his mother and no more provoked anger from his father. Ben opens the flavored water, before he starts to snack on the meat strip and takes the tablet.

After a few minutes, there's a knock on the door, and Ben puts the bottle of iron tablets inside his desk, "Come in." The door slowly opens, and he sees the fiercely curly brown hair before the jade eyes meet him.

"Ben."

He stands from his seat, "Mal."

She steps forward, "Your mother says you're not eating."

"I don't eat with them," Ben corrects. "My father and I got into a fight over money. I'm not going to eat anything that was paid with his." Mal's eyes lower in thought, and he questions, "How are you? I mean, are you well?"

Mal frowns, "My last appointment with Ms. God-Solves-Everything is tomorrow, so that will be nice."

"But you're still getting help?" he slowly asks.

"Uh, yeah." She nods, "The doctors are putting some profiles together for me, trying to find someone who doesn't believe in a God that wants them dead."

"They're still going to need them to be a witch," Ben speculates. "If they don't, you could hypnotize them not to help you or um…"

"I get it." Mal moves over to the pull-out couch, "Believe me." She sighs, "I get it."

A sweet, smoky smell starts to scent the air, and Ben wets his lips. His eyes move to her neck, and he recalls the fear on her face, "Um, Mal."

"You're busy." She shakes her head and stands, "Sorry."

"No. Um," he hurries, before she turns back to him and he settles. "Can…" He hesitates, "I want to know what happened. What did I do to you?"

"But you know what happened." Mal reminds him, "You said I smelled good, backed me into a corner, and…"

"I want to remember," he breaks her from her thoughts.

"Ben," she shakes her head.

He moves over to the bed, sits next to her, and reaches for her hand, "Mal." He meets her green eyes, "I need to know. There is so much I don't remember."

"Because, I made you forget," Mal finishes. "There's a lot of things you've done that you don't remember because of me."

"Then make me remember," Ben's eyes widen. "I can't stand not knowing."

"You begged me to make you forget," she informs him.

Ben takes a moment, "Doesn't that make whatever I forgot that more important?"

"Ben," Mal frowns.

"Please," he pleads. "I need to know how I hurt you. I need to remember whatever I did to Doug. I need to remember everything."

Mal slightly nods, before she places a hand to his face, "You ready?"

He meets her eyes, "Yes."

Her eyes glow bright green, and she commands, "You will remember everything you forgot." before she lets go of him. He looks down, and after a minute, Mal tilts her head, "Ben?"

Ben's frown deepens, before he faces her, "You were so sad when I told you I wanted to forget about it."

"I thought it would change you," she acknowledges, "that you wouldn't be there for me." He nods, and she questions, "What else do you remember?"

He unsurely smiles, "I don't really know. It's a little… hard to get through."

"Maybe there needs to be a trigger." Mal partly smiles, "Ben. You already know most of what you forgot. If you can't remember, it's probably not important."

"But I have to know," Ben insists. "I tried to kill myself how many times? I told you I would kill myself if you didn't make me forget? There has to be more of a reason than just…"

"Than just what?" Mal inquires.

He sighs, "Than just hoping I was human." before shaking his head. "There's a lot of carnivores out there. None of them attack people. None of them don't eat, because they think that will somehow make it not real." He looks into her eyes, "If I were anyone else, I'd be in prison right now. I could be dead." His eyes water, and his voice crackles, "But I'm not." He strains a smile. "I'm still here, and I'm still a monster."

- Posted: 10/31/2019

- Megan Yeah. Sorry for not posting for a month. I don't know what happened, aside from being sick this last week... and a little health problem a couple weeks ago. I'm in a weight loss competition, and apparently I was eating in a way where my body was eating its muscle but I still gained weight, which made me feel really tired and weak. I thought I was eating fine, but I guess I was wrong. They told me I need more carbs in my diet, but a part of my mind is trying to tell me they're lying. I gained muscle back this week, though, so I'm fine. Anyway, I'm glad you found the 'break' touching. As far as Tyler goes, I'm thinking about making him Ben's new low-key obsession. He needs a distraction now that Chad's deserted him, something simple that he won't need to explain himself for, but I don't know how many more times Tyler will make it in this fic before I move onto the one for the school year. There's a lot of things I'm questioning if it will make it into this fic or have to wait for the next one.

- alley1762 Yes, Evie's dad was trying to get her to eat... I have a lot to say about Ruby, and I have a plotline that connects her with Aziz; however, I can't say anything at the moment and it won't happen for a while. The majority of her story will happen while she's not discussed in the fanfic. Maybe I'll do a short story for it when the time comes, but like I said, it won't be for a while.