Disclaimer:
I don't own The Big Bang Theory.
A/N:
Sorry for taking so long to update. It's been a busy time and I didn't have any idea of how to continue the story, but it's important that you'll know that I did not forget about it and I have every intention in continuing it.
Chapter 4:
"Sheldon?" Amy asked Sheldon after two hours that they've watched tv.
"Yes?" he asked her back.
There was a tense silence before Amy kept talking.
"You know that you don't have to feel guilty about what happened, right?" Amy said quietly.
"What do you mean I don't have to feel guilty? If I weren't the selfish man that I am and would have just come with you to the reunion regardless of what you said, that Timothy person wouldn't have done what he did because he would have seen me." Sheldon said as he sat up straight in his spot and turned to look at Amy, his tone filled with anger and remorse.
"Sheldon that's not your fault. Unfortunately, those types of things happen in the safest places such as the doctor office, a teacher office, work places and even families." Amy told him in a broken voice.
"What are you saying?" Sheldon was confused and Amy took a deep breathe.
"Look, for years I was certain that this will never happen to me, but the truth is that no one is safe from that, and if I were supposed to experience it, it could have been anyone else in the world, even a doctor or someone at work, for that matter." Amy said brokenly.
"What do you mean 'if you were supposed to experience it.'? why would you have to experience it? why would anyone have to go through this?" Sheldon was now even angrier.
"I don't know. maybe it's in my destiny, stars, what god or some other deity wrote for me…" Amy said with a heavy sigh as tears started to fall down from her eyes.
"Amy come on. You don't believe in those nonsense." Sheldon got closer to her.
"I don't know what I believe in anymore, Sheldon." Amy shouted in frustration and wrapped her arms around her legs and started to cry.
Sheldon came closer to Amy and put his arm around her gently and carefully as to not startle Amy, and she quickly laid her head on his shoulder and sobbed into his shirt.
"Shh… I'm here… it'll be okay…" Sheldon said softly as he awkwardly caressed her back.
"How? How it will be okay? it will never be okay… I let someone take away something that was meant only for you, even if we were never going to have sex… you were the one who was supposed to be the first. Not anyone else, let alone like this. If anyone is to blame here, it's me for not fighting hard enough. How can you still look at me after that?" Amy cried hard into Sheldon's shirt.
Sheldon looked at the woman he loves the most, who was now sobbing in his arms, with shock. He couldn't believe that she blames herself for what happened… he couldn't believe she thought that she's not worthy of him anymore.
He tightened his grip on Amy and brought her closer to him.
"I love you. I love and you should never blame yourself for what happened or think that I wouldn't want you because of it. I love you and I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Not now, not ever. If anyone in this relationship is not worthy of the other, it's me who isn't worthy of you after everything I've been putting you through, all these years." Sheldon was now crying too.
Amy just tightened her grip on Sheldon's arm and they were both crying now. They cried out of pain of what happened to Amy, they cried out of pain because of all those years that their relationship was a bit rocky and they were navigating so carefully around each other, especially Amy. They just let out every possible emotion in that moment.
They both silently felt and agreed that they were starting their relationship from zero, opening a clean slate. They both felt bad that those were the circumstances that made them realize that this is what they needed, but they silently decided to somehow make the best out of this situation.
"I love you too." Amy whispered into Sheldon's shirt when she calmed down after a while.
"Thank you." Amy whispered and looked up at Sheldon with teary eyes.
Sheldon just looked at her with tears in his eyes and gently caressed her cheek, wiping her tears away. They looked deep into each other eyes and saw nothing but love for the other. Sheldon then closed his eyes and carefully leaned in and gently kissed Amy's temple, and Amy closed her eyes and leaned in for the kiss.
After what happened, Amy thought that it'll be hard for her to accept any touch that Sheldon will offer, if he'll offer any touch at all, and at the beginning it was, but it turned out to be easier than she thought, and it even made her feel safer than anything in the world right now. It's as if Sheldon was her safe place and the one who kept every bad thing away. She definitely wasn't ready for them being intimate, but his hugs and the occasional kisses made her feel safe, loved. Then a thought came to her, that made her doubt everything.
"Sheldon… I appreciate everything you've been doing in the past few days, but I want to be clear; if it's out of pity because of what happened, you don't have to do it." Amy said quietly.
"It's not. it's coming out of love, hurt, anger, the realization I need to be a better boyfriend, anger and shame at myself that I realized it just now… it's not pity, Amy. It's me wanting to show you that I have no intention of leaving you alone ever again, it's me showing you with actions that I'm willing to change… that I want to protect you and be your safe place, your harbor. It's me trying to be a better man for you and show you how remorseful I am for everything I put you through and at the same time showing you how grateful I am that you never gave up on me even though you probably wanted to, more times than you told me. it's me trying to show you how much I truly love you." Sheldon said with a cracking voice.
Amy leaned in to Sheldon and surprised both Sheldon and herself with a lingering kiss on Sheldon's cheek, that felt far more intimate than any other kiss they shared so far and Amy's heart expended more than any other time they shared a kiss, from the love she felt for Sheldon in that moment.
"I love you Sheldon and I couldn't be more grateful for you being in my life, than I am right now." Amy said with tears in her eyes.
"Would you like to go and get some rest?" Sheldon asked her as he removed a few stray hairs from her face.
"Yes. would you come and sleep next to me?" Amy asked carefully and Sheldon just nodded and they got up and went to Amy's bed and laid on the comforter and fell asleep in each other's arms.
It was Sheldon's phone that woke them up, Amy grunted with annoyance.
"Sorry… sorry…" Sheldon hugged her tighter to his chest with one hand and with the other reached for his phone that was near him on the nightstand.
"Hello." he murmured sleepily, not even looking at the caller ID.
"Where are you? I'm looking all over for you for the past fifteen minutes so we could go home." Leonard asked him with annoyance.
"Sorry. I'm at Amy's and we fell asleep." Sheldon said quietly and Leonard calmed down immediately.
"Oh… okay. is everything alright?" Leonard asked with concern.
"Um… yes." Sheldon said, trying to convince Leonard who didn't fall for it but let it go. At the same time, he looked at his girlfriend, who was trying to fall back asleep, with concern.
"Um… will you be coming home later?" Leonard asked.
"I… I don't know. I promise I will let you know." Sheldon said. He wasn't sure about staying the night at Amy's apartment but at the same time he didn't want to leave her alone. The only person that will determine what will happen next is Amy.
"Okay. call if any of you need anything." Leonard said with genuine concern.
"I will. Thank you." Sheldon said and hung up the call. He then put his phone back on the nightstand and hugged Amy once again and they fell back asleep for a while longer.
When they woke up they decided to go to Sheldon's apartment and join the group for dinner and what they hoped will be a relaxing evening.
"So… how are you guys doing? You left work in the middle of the day." Howard asked both Sheldon and Amy with genuine concern and both Sheldon and Amy could see that he was really worried about them.
They exchanged looks and Amy answered his question.
"We're doing okay. thanks for asking." Amy said with a small smile.
"What would you like to watch?" Leonard asked the group.
Howard and Raj suggested Lord of the Rings, Bernadette and Penny wanted to watch a romantic movie, Emily once again tried Hounddog which Amy and Penny objected immediately and Amy wanted to watch 13 Going On 30, which was okay with both Penny and Bernadette and even Raj. The only one who didn't suggest a movie was Sheldon.
"Sheldon is there anything in particular you want to watch?" Amy asked him softly, feeling uncomfortable that he hasn't suggested any movie before they all decided to watch her choice of movie.
"No. I'm okay with the movie you want to watch." Sheldon simply said and looked into Amy's eyes.
"Are you sure?" Amy asked once again and everyone watched their conversation with surprise, since Sheldon did not object to the movie that Amy chose, something that Sheldon rarely did.
"Yes." Sheldon said and looked deep into Amy's eyes so she'll see how serious he is.
"Okay then…" Amy said softly when she saw the look in his eyes and settled in her spot, getting closer to Sheldon so that their shoulders touched a little.
"Okay then. 13 going on 30 it is." Leonard said and put on the movie.
During the movie Amy rested her head against Sheldon's shoulder who awkwardly wrapped an arm around her, instead of telling her off, a thing that everyone noticed but only Emily and Bernadette looked surprised. they exchanged looks between them when no one else seemed to care or make a big deal out of it.
It was the middle of the movie when Amy started to doze off and Sheldon noticed that. he woke her up lightly, but Amy still woke up with a start.
"What?" she looked around her and soon heard Sheldon calming her down. everyone looked at their interaction from the corner of their eyes, fascinating at how caring Sheldon is with Amy all of a sudden.
"It's okay…" he whispered and caressed her hip in soothing motions and she laid her head against his chest.
"Care to accompany me to my bedroom for a moment?" Sheldon asked Amy and she nodded and they got up and went to Sheldon's room.
When they got to Sheldon's room, Sheldon closed the door and Amy sat on the edge of his bed.
"You seem tired. Do you want to back to your apartment or do you want to stay here?" Sheldon asked her worried.
"I think I'll go to my apartment." Amy said quietly. She really wanted Sheldon to come with her but she was still afraid he'll say no.
"Would you like me to with you and sleep next to you?" Sheldon immediately asked and Amy looked at him with wide, glistening eyes.
"Do you mind?" Amy asked with a cracking voice. she didn't want to give him the impression that she is needy, but she couldn't help it. she didn't want to be alone and in the last couple of days Sheldon was giving her all the comfort she needs.
"Not at all. I'll just pack a night bag and we'll go to your place." Sheldon said and pulled out a bag and started to grab the things he'll need for the next day.
Meanwhile, in the living room, Bernadette stopped the movie and pointed out Sheldon's behavior that night.
"Did you see how gentle he was with Amy? How he didn't say a word when she put her head on his chest and shoulder? He never did that before… he even embraced it… and her." she said, shock in her voice.
"Yeah…" Leonard just said and kept eating.
"Penny? Emily?" Bernadette tried to get someone to react. even her husband, who never missed an opportunity to make fun of Sheldon or wonder about Sheldon and Amy's relationship, didn't react as she hoped.
"Yeah… I've noticed that too. It was kind of sweet actually." Emily said.
"It was. it was too sweet. What's with them? do you think they've done…" And at that Penny cut off the two girls discussion.
"Why don't we just leave them alone and be happy for Amy that Sheldon is not the big jerk we sometimes think he is, okay?" Penny said annoyed.
"What's with you? you're the first one to make fun of their relationship." Bernadette accused Penny.
"I know, but I also think that it's time to cut them some slack and leave them alone." Penny said. She reminded herself over and over that it's not her place to tell them. she had to grit her teeth hard so it won't slip out.
Bernadette looked at Penny with confusion and Penny sighed.
"Look. Just trust me on that." She said.
"You know something." Raj said eagerly.
"What do you mean?" She asked him confused.
"I've been cracking my head all day why Sheldon was mean to us today, and Leonard said that something happened and that you know, and I'm pretty sure it has to do with them being intimate." Raj whispered.
"Oh god, Raj. Would you let it go already?" Leonard said with a heavy sigh.
"Raj this is none of our business. Whatever is going on with them, they will tell us." Penny said with a harsh tone.
"But you know something." Raj insisted.
"Even if I do, it's not my place to tell you so let it go." Penny said harshly and that was the end of the discussion.
After twenty minutes in Sheldon's room, Sheldon and Amy came out of Sheldon's bedroom; Amy went to the living room and Sheldon went to the bathroom to grab some things to take with him to Amy's place.
"I'm ready. We can go." Sheldon told Amy when he came back with his night bag over his shoulder and went to his desk to grab his laptop and the rest of his things.
"Okay." Amy said quietly.
"Where are you going?" Raj asked.
"I'm going to sleep over at Amy's so I won't be coming home." Sheldon said and aimed the last part of the sentence to Penny and Leonard.
"Okay. take care and if there's anything I can do just call." Penny said and both Amy and Sheldon nodded.
"Have fun." Raj said with a smirk on his face and earned a stern look from Amy and Penny.
Once they were out of the apartment Sheldon talked.
"Why did Raj said we should have fun and smirked?" He asked with confusion.
"He thinks we're being physically intimate." Amy said flatly and Sheldon stopped going down the stairs.
"Doesn't he have better things to think about?" Sheldon asked with rage in his tone.
"Sheldon leave it alone." Amy said when she noticed that Sheldon is going back to the apartment.
"I will not leave it alone. I told him to leave that part of our relationship alone, we both did, and he still doesn't respect that." He went up the stairs with angry steps.
"I thought I told you to leave our relationship alone, haven't I?" Sheldon said as he entered back to the apartment and heard some parts of the conversation through the door. both Raj and Bernadette were wondering about Sheldon and Amy once again, and the fact that Sheldon is going to sleep at Amy's.
"Then why won't you tell us why the sudden change?" Raj insisted.
"I will not tell you that because this is none of your business and I will not tolerate you discussing our relationship or Amy as if it was your business. Trust us to come to you whenever we want to come and tell you things and don't force us to tell you." Sheldon said with a furious tone and left the apartment.
Amy was waiting for him in the staircase and she heard everything that Sheldon told their friends.
"Thank you, Sheldon. I really hope it'll help." Amy said softly and Sheldon just went to her and hugged her tight and she wrapped her arm around him in return.
"Let's go." He said softly and gently kissed the crown of her head and they went down the stairs to Amy's car and back to her apartment.
Back in apartment 4A the group was still in shock about Sheldon's reaction.
"What was that all about?" Raj wondered.
"I think it was pretty clear; leave their relationship alone." Leonard said and got up to get something to drink.
"But-" Raj started but was cut off by Penny's glare.
"Fine." he sighed.
During the next month and a half Sheldon and Amy's relationship grew even more; Sheldon was much more attentive to Amy, he was there for her every time she needed someone, never even giving Penny a chance to be there for Amy before him, he dropped by her office from time to time to see that she's eating, he spent the nights sleeping by her side either at her apartment or his, but mostly hers, and their friends couldn't help but notice that Sheldon got more affectionate with her, but none of them uttered a word about it.
During that month and a half, Amy decided to take some of the tests she took in the hospital the night she got raped, to see that nothing has changed and that she didn't got infected with any STDs.
It was a Friday afternoon and she was at Sheldon's apartment, hanging out with Penny when she got a message on her phone that her test results are back and that she can watch them on the website.
Amy quickly entered the website and her face went white.
"What is it?" Penny asked her after a few moments that Amy didn't say a thing.
Amy just showed Penny the test results and Penny's face caught up with Amy's face.
They exchanged terrified looks and a few tears were now coming down Amy's face.
"I can't believe this." Amy whispered.
A/N:
Thank you so much for sticking with me. I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate it. I know it takes me a while to update, but I want you to know that I didn't forget about my stories. If I'm not writing or updating it's because I'm thinking how to continue the stories.
I hope you enjoyed it and I can't wait to read your thoughts and reviews.