Hi Wallflowers! Sorry for the long wait.
Disclaimer: I don't own That 70s Show.
AN: I never have and never will watch the last season of the show so this is all based on things I read from the Wikipedia page or Tumblr.
Jackie isn't sure what to think when Steven Hyde decided to move out of the Forman's basement.
Truth be told she's not sure what to think about him anymore.
She doesn't want to think about him anymore.
It hurts too much to do so.
When he left her at the hotel, all she could feel was panic, there was ice in her veins and she couldn't breathe. Hearing that he never came back to the Forman's house made her heartbreak.
She spent all night wondering where he was and whose bed he was in.
Because she knew him. He was hurting so he was probably in someone else's bed.
But she wanted to be proven wrong. She wanted to believe that he loved her enough not to sleep with someone else. But then she remembers how he told her to have a good trip and the anger and hurt in his eyes when he saw Michael in a towel and she feels tears in her eyes and an ache in her heart.
The longer he was gone, the colder the ice in her veins became.
She couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. She sees the way Kitty and Red look at her, worry in their eyes. Worried about the small loud girl who was wasting away in front of their eyes.
She curls up in his cot, sobbing until she drifts off at night.
She was alone.
Then he came back and the ice melted.
Her heart was pounding when she laid eyes on him and she decided that she would forgive him even if he had been with someone else, because while she didn't sleep with Michael nor did she have any intention to, she had sought comfort from someone who always loved her in his own messed up way and someone who had once proposed to her. She had gone to Michael even though she knew he was the one person who made Steven Hyde insecure about them. She had gone to him to feel wanted and Kelso made her feel wanted, but she didn't want him. She wanted and needed Steven Hyde.
When he told her that he wasn't ready to marry her yet, her heart sang.
Yet meant someday.
She could work with that. She could deal with yet.
But the happiness was short-lived when she walked into the house.
She second she laid eyes on Sam, Jackie felt the ice in her veins again, her heart was pounding and she didn't know why.
When Sam announced she was Hyde's wife Jackie looked at Steven and for the brief second their eyes met, she knew it was true.
He couldn't marry her, but he could marry a stranger.
She couldn't breathe.
So she ran.
She ran all the way to her big empty house and thew up in her bathroom. She sat in her tub, water pouring down on her and didn't crawl out until she was shivering.
No one came to see her.
Not one of her friends came to see if she was okay, if she was alive.
No one.
But she was Jackie Burkhart.
So she put herself together, and days later, she drags herself into the basement.
The ice in her veins gives way to red hot anger when she sees Sam in her seat, on Steven's lap, the others acting like this was normal.
Truth be told, she preferred the red hot anger to the ice in her veins and with every cruel word that came out of Hyde's and Donna's mouth, it was ignited again and again.
She wrote her first letter to Eric the night of the dreaded sleepover, half drunk on tequila, half drunk on pain.
It wasn't really a letter as much as it was a small novel.
She tells Eric everything, from why she pressed Hyde into thinking about a future with her, to the hotel room with Kelso, to the hurt when she sees Sam in Hyde's lap to the pain in her heart when Donna had the sleepover.
To her surprise, Eric writes back.
So she sends him another letter, telling him about the married couple and Donna and Randy and how everything is falling apart. She tells him about her parents and about how she misses him. She tells him of how her parent hates how Steven is half black and how she found out her mom was using her trust fund to fund her trips and how she couldn't get that money until she was twenty-one or married. She tells him of her half brothers and how they offered to help her out but she's Jackie Burkhart and she doesn't want a handout.
They exchange letters back and forth and it helps. Every time she sees her name written in stickly Eric Forman writing the anger in her veins disappears briefly.
Her only friend is miles away but it helps. She feels the love and strength he is sending her.
She moves in with Fez because Red Forman found out that she was staying alone and he gave her a choice, move in with Fez or stay in his house with her ex and his stripper wife.
It wasn't a hard decision to make.
As things get worse she thinks about leaving, leaving it all behind and never coming back but then she thinks about the fact that she would have to give up writing letters to Eric and she can't do that. Eric Forman has become her lifeline.
She bumps into Laurie one day at a bar in Kenosha. Laurie asks her how she is and it all comes out, in choking a voice. Laurie takes pity on her and holds her hair back and she throws up. She isn't sure what to do with the girl who's relationship she ruined.
Jackie goes home the next day but she leaves a note with Eric's address on it.
Laurie doesn't hesitate to send a letter to her brother. It's time to mend fences.
When she finds out she's going to have a baby, she knows it's time to go home.
It's time to go home and fix things and Eric agrees with her.
Jackie can't explain the warmth in her blood that comes the moment Eric wraps her in his arms. She doesn't feel shame in breaking down in his arms because she's safe. Eric always has been someone she could trust. It's why she told him about her first pregnancy scare, why she kept writing to him as everything fell apart, Eric Forman had a way of making people feel safe.
She stays away for a month for two reasons, one being she is embarrassed about her breaking down in front of everyone and two she is taking college classes, and it's taking more time than she thought.
She loves school, one of the requirements of being a cheerleader was having a high GPA and Jackie was one of four girls who carried the team's GPA. Jackie gets thrilled everything she aces an exam. Her classes are simple- an art class, a business class, an English class, and then a stats class. But she throws herself into it.
Eric starts to work for Hyde and while she isn't thrilled she had to accept that Hyde is still Eric's brother so he will always be around. It hurts but she can't lose Eric.
She spends the next two months looking for a job. She doesn't want to ask her ex for a job although she knows that he will give her one, especially if she gets Red involved but she hasn't sunk that low yet. She doesn't know if she can stand being close to Steven Hyde without fighting the urge to strangle him or kiss him. He has stopped burning her and has been a lot nicer but she's waiting for the shoe to drop. She can no longer trust her heart around him, the traitor thing picks up speed whenever he is around.
Her latest hunt had lead her to a diner, not her ideal work but she will gladly wait tables if it means being able to earn money. Anything would be preferable than the Cheese Maiden uniform she has been wearing again.
A part of her wanted to flaunt her old uniform in Steven's face just to see if she could fluster him (he admitted that the uniform had a place in his fantasies) but she didn't want him to know that she was back there working. Back when they started dating, Todd had made a comment about their kiss she had to distract Steven with a blowjob in the car to stop him from kicking Todd's ass. He told her that he didn't care how desperate she got for cash, he didn't want her to work for the little dillhole.
Well here she was, working for the dillhole, in desperate need of money so she can start her life again.
She is about to enter the diner when something catches her eye and she freezes when she sees her ex-boyfriend laughing with a waitress. Their body language suggests familiarity and comfort and she wonders if they are sleeping together. Not that she should care, she is over Steven Hyde.
Laurie had been telling her to go on a few dates, to build up her shattered confidence but it felt like it was too early, yet here he was passing his morning with some waitress.
She makes eye contact with the waitress and then Jackie turns away. She can't, won't apply for a job here. She climbs into her car and doesn't even realize she is sobbing until she has to pull over because she can't see.
She drives to the Formans and Laurie is in the kitchen laughing with Brooke, baby Besty playing next to them.
"I want to go on a date."
Meanwhile, at the dinner, Ashley is aware of a girl outside the diner. She turns to Hyde.
"So Midnight has pretty much adopted your ex has her mother? That's cute! So how are you working out the custody arrangement?"
Hyde scowls at her.
"Shut your piehole, or should I ask the nice officer to shut it for you?" He gestures to the officer while batting his eyes and she hits him with her pad of paper.
'Shut up, I don't like him."
"Sure and I guess the feeling is mutual."
"It is!"
She turns to serve another order and he lays some cash down.
It's Friday and he's looking forward to seeing Jackie come in with lunch.
Jackie doesn't show.
Eric finds Jackie asleep in the basement and he wakes her up.
"You didn't show for lunch."
She throws her arms around him needing reassurance and Eric automatically wraps an arm around her.
"It's okay devil, it's okay."
"I think he's dating again."
"Thought you didn't care."
"Why didn't he love me? Why didn't he fight for me?"
"I can't answer these questions, you need to ask him."
"I hate him Eric."
"No, you don't."
Jackie laughs bitterly,
"No I don't, I still love him. I asked Laurie easier to set me up on a date and the thought made me feel sick. He was married and now he's dating again and I feel like I'm cheating on him by going on one date."
Eric doesn't know what to say so he simply holds her tighter.
Hyde comes over for dinner, and while he knows that Jackie eats meals with Forman's on Fridays and he tries to give her space by not stopping by, he is worried because she didn't show up to Grooves.
The second Jackie sees him she starts to talk about how excited she is to go on a date again and what she should wear.
He doesn't notice how sad her eyes are. She doesn't know how much she is hurting him.
He goes to drink with Ashley and Jackie heads to the Forman's basement and curls up in Hyde's old cot and cries. Eric finds her later on and curls up behind her, feeling how thin she has gotten.
She joins them for breakfast and Kitty gives her extra bacon. Laurie exchanged looks with her brother who shrugs sadly. Laurie sets her up on a date.
She goes on a date with a cute banker, who proceeds to talk over her and leer at her.
She goes out with a guy she meets at college, who flirts with the waitress in front of her.
The next guy orders her a salad.
One asks her if she still has her cheerleading uniform.
One buys her flowers and he gets a second date.
Jackie stops by with lunch and even though she doesn't want to make it obvious, Eric sighs.
"He's not here. He called in sick."
"Sick?"
Hyde doesn't get sick. He won't even admit to being sick.
"I think he's hungover."
"I thought he was cutting back?"
"You and I both know it doesn't take much for him to fall back into bad habits."
It bothers her, the fact that everyone has a hard time thinking that he is cutting back. She believes in him and there's nothing wrong with a little fun.
She knows she shouldn't but she goes to see him. She gets his address from a note on his desk and picks up some soup for him.
She picks the lock and he's fast asleep and her heart ache.
All she wants to do is kick off her heels and slid into bed with him, feel his arms around her and just rest her eyes knowing she is safe.
But she can't.
She had to hightail it out of class to get to the store in time, as it not one of her usual visit days but she needed to see him. She wanted to make sure he was at work.
Her shoulders relax in relief when she sees him but she can't help but notices he is distracted.
He comes out with a bouquet of flowers and her heart stops.
Sunflowers.
He got her sunflowers.
*flashback*
They are on his cot, the blanket covering their bodies. He's sitting up and she's on laying on her stomach, legs kicikg up, moving the blanket higher na higher.
Sex and film make for a talkative Steven Hyde and it always makes Jackie smile.
He's sweet like this.
She steals the joint and blows circles into his face and his hand pulls the blanket away from her body, eyes roaming over her naked frame and his hands grab her ass, palming it.
"You're beautiful."
"I'm naked, pudding pop."
He laughs and smacks her ass lightly and she giggles. He lays down next to her, hand squeezing her ass and she looks down at him, his blue eyes are bright and he is smiling.
The room is dark but with Jackie around it's like having his own personal sun.
That makes him smile even bigger.
He is so in love with this girl and it scares him but right now, when it's just the two of them, it seems so simple, so easy.
"My sun."
He mutters as he runs a hand down her back, fingers light.
"What?"
"You're my personal sun. My little sunflower."
Jackie giggles.
"You're my pudding pop and I'm your sunflower?"
"Mi sol."
He grins as the Spanish tumbles out of his mouth, he knows from Spanish class that it turns her own.
He rolls over and lift himself up over her back and places a kiss on the back of her neck, he does push-ups on the cot pressing kisses down her spine until he reaches her ass.
My little sunflower."
He flips her over and she places the unlit joint on the dresser before her hands reach for his head and she pulls him up to her.
"Say it again."
"Mi sol."
She kisses him, moaning into his mouth and he settles in between her legs.
She doesn't know if he's playing a game but it gets to her. The sunflowers mock her from their spot on her dresser but she can't bear to throw them away.
The next time the cute boy in her class ask her out she rejects him politely. She isn't over Steven Hyde yet and trying to get under someone else will only hurt her in the long run. She had tried the casual sex with Steven Hyde and look where that got her.
Heartbroken.
Hi Wallflowers! Sorry for the long wait! I have been busy writing finals papers and working on final projects. I have also been busy planning two sorority events (all for the same weekend/same week) so it's been a busy time. I needed to put all my focus on passing my classes and on my sorority position so writing took a back seat. But I'm back and done with all my classes and I promise to try to update more regularly, maybe one or twice a week?
I'm at a bit of a crossroads as to what happens next in regards to Jackie and Donna. I'm not sure if I want Jackie to rip into Donna or for her to forgive her for everything. So if you have any ideas as to what to do I would love to hear them, maybe it will make it easier for me to figure out what to do. (I know what direction I want to lean in but I'm curious to see what you all think.)
Guest Reviews
Rachel: Sorry for the long wait. I was busy with finals but school is over so hopefully, updates will be quicker. I just need to figure out my Donna problem and then the rest of the story is good to go.
Jesse: Thanks for your review! Means the world.
(4/23) Guest: Thanks for checking up on me and this story. Sorry for the long wait.
(4/19) Guest: Welcome back! I have so much planned for this and sadly not enough time to sit and write and edit because of finals. Thank you for saying I bring depth to the characters and their relationships, I try my best to. I have a lot of feelings towards them, Steven and Jackie in particular. I hope I can keep that depth going.
PennyLane: Ask and you shall receive! I'm so glad you love this!
(4/16) Guest: I'm back! Hope you like this!
(4/13) Guest: Thank you, glad you like my work. I'm going to update more frequently once school is over.