When she heard a knock on the door, Jackie had a brief moment of panic, it was familiar. She didn't want to deal with him yelling at her in her house but he kept knocking and she sighed.
It was best to get this over with it.
This was something that needed to happen.
But she had wanted it to happen on her own terms.
She opened the door anyway.
'Steven go away."
He blinked because he didn't expect his name to come out on her lips but also because he was wearing jeans and his shirt.
"Jackie get your coat, we are going out."
She rolled her eyes.
"Good night Steven."
He pushed past her and looked into her eyes, after he removed his sunglasses.
"Coat Jackie. We need to talk and I rather do it somewhere you can't throw stuff at me."
She crossed her arms and he's aware that she doesn't have a bra under his shirt and that thought drives him wild.
So he picks her up and throws her over his shoulder.
Jackie hits his back but he ignores her.
He places her down but held the door open for her.
"After you dear."
She thought about making a run for it but figured that she wouldn't make it.
So she sighed and got into the car.
He drives them to their spot, the place where they had their first date.
He grabbed the basket he packed and went to her side of the door but she opened it herself and frowned at him.
He smiled slightly and then gestured to the hood.
He placed the basket on the hood and picked her up, placing her on the hood.
"I could have done it myself, St-Hyde."
He climbed up next to her and handed her a burger.
"Got you something shiny. Eat Doll."
She frowned at him again but shrugged and started to eat her burger, she's not going to complain about free food.
They eat in silence and her hand fiddled with the shiny wrapper, remembering the first time he got her something shiny.
Where did they go so wrong?
Was it when she yelled "get off my boyfriend?" or when he cheated on her. When he married Sam? When she gave him an ultimatum? Or was it when he took her to prom? When she spent the summer kissing him when Michael and Donna were in California.
"What's on your mind Doll? Normally you would be flapping your pie hole and I'm surprised you haven't shoved me off the hood yet."
He regretted the words as soon as he opened his mouth.
But her silence was driving him mad.
She turned to him and she couldn't help the small smile that appeared on her face knowing that she was getting to him. But then it disappeared and then she turned away not wanting to stare into his eyes.
"Trying to figure out where we went wrong. Annette and Michael? Sam? The nurse?Or at prom."
She shivered, wishing that she had brought a jacket. The cold air, her lack of bra, and the pain in her heart were not a good combination.
This was a mistake.
She needed to go home.
She couldn't do this.
He could see the panic cross her face and he saw her shiver.
He knew she was regretting coming with him and he needed to do something before she asked him to take her home.
He removed his jacket, draping it over her shoulders.
She stilled and then pulled it closer and laid her arms into the sleeves. She realized it was the same jacket he let her wear on thiet first date on Veteran's Day and she felt this pang hit her heart.
"I want to say that I went wrong with the nurse but my biggest regret was the 's when it all went wrong, it all fell apart. I should have talked to you, listened to you, instead of driving away, I should have given you the damm ring instead of driving away."
"You brought me a ring?"
She is stunned.
She didn't really believe Ashley when she had said it but it was different hearing Steven say it.
She looked at him and she saw the pain and regret in his eyes.
"Of course I brought you a ring. You drove me crazy. Still do. Yet I wanted to spend the rest of my life with your type of crazy."
Jackie can feel tears in the corners of her eyes.
She licked her lips as she felt him stare at her.
"Why did you stay with her?"
He ran a hand through his hair. He had been expecting the question but it didn't mean that it bothered him.
"Because it was easier, if I was with her I wasn't messing up your life. God, Doll you can do so much better than the orphan living in a basement. I figured if I stayed with her that you would move on, find your prince charming. I saw your face when Sam came through that door, and I hate myself for putting that pain in your eyes. I nearly drank myself to death that night. I figured I'll let Sam stay because it would keep you away, I hurt you so badly and I couldn't do that anymore."
"Steve I never saw you as my prince charming, you have always been my knight. My mother married for money and it didn't work out. I stayed with Michael because I wanted to belong. I know I talk about how important money is but the truth is Steven, I would choose love over money and I would choose being alone with you and being without you. You taught me that money won't bring me happiness, security yes, but happiness no. Being with you made me happy. It made me feel safe."
"Jackie."
"No Steven. Let me finish, I told you this on our first date, you are worthy of love, you deserve it. If I could go back, I would have never gone back to Michael. I would have kissed you at prom, told you the truth at the Veteran's Day party. Mrs. Forman once told me I had to pick my battles. You and me, that's a battle worth fighting for. It's a battle I want to always fight. Red told me that at the end of the day it comes down to a choice. My mother chose to sleep around. Midge chooses to leave. Eric chose to go to Africa. Michael chose to be an active father. Laurie chose to marry Fez. She chose to come back. And I chose to be with you. There are so many guys out there, but I chose you and I will always choose you."
It slips out and they both freeze.
Jackie is panicking, she didn't mean to tell him that. She didn't want him to know how much he still affected her. How a part of her did love him still.
Steven Hyde has no clue how a girl who weighs barely a hundred pounds can knock the breath out of him but Jackie has always done the impossible.
"You still chose me after Sam and everything?"
He says it softly, afraid to scare her away. All the anger he felt earlier was gone replaced with something that one could refer to as hope.
She bites her lip, she needs to phrase it carefully, not giving away too much.
"I would still choose you, Steven."
He opens his mouth but she holds up a hand.
"But, I'm angry and I'm hurt. But Steven, I want you in my life, I don't know how that will work out but I want things to go slow."
He lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in.
He can work with that.
Jackie looks at him and she watches the smile spread on his face.
It's beautiful.
He opens up the picnic basket and pulls out something wrapped in pink and hands it to Jackie.
She looks at him for a second before she peels the paper away.
One hand flies up to her mouth and the other trembles as she holds the picture frame.
It's her and Steven as kids. Steven is on one knee in front of her.
She didn't even know that such a picture existed.
" Mrs. Forman found it. Thought you would like it."
He scratches the back of his head as Jackie simply looks at the picture.
She wants to cry.
Things were simple then.
She remembers having a crush on him.
He was protective and while not liking her, he was kind to her.
When he married her that day, she was really happy.
But then two weeks later things didn't work out.
"Why did you stop talking to me afterward?"
Out of the things he expected her to say it wasn't that.
"There were a lot of reasons. Donna and Kelso were running their mouths. Some kids at school were starting stuff and I figured you would be better off without me. You moved on."
Jackie doesn't tell him how much it hurt her when he cut her off.
How much she hated school because of him.
How his rejection of her made her colder, made her want to make sure no one would ever reject her again.
Not that it worked.
Michael and Steven had both cheated and her mother left her for the flavor of the month.
But she wasn't alone.
She had Eric, filling the role of the brother she didn't know what she wanted. She had the Formans who were the parents she wanted. But they couldn't fill the void in her heart, the feeling of wanting someone.
She wanted someone who looked at her the way Eric looked at Donna or the way Red looks at Kitty.
She wants love.
She looks down at the picture and closes her eyes.
She can see Steven, smiling down at her as they dance.
She can see him looking at her as she does her cheerleading routine for him.
She can feel the way his fingers brush her skin as he kisses her.
Hyde had no clue as to what Jackie was thinking about now, but he watches a tear slide down her cheeks.
"Do you, did you ever love me?"
Her eyes meet his and his heart broke.
How much of an asshole was he, that she doubted his love for her?
"I love you, Jackie, I love you now, I love you then. I brought you a ring because even though the idea of marriage terrifies me, the idea doesn't sound so bad with you. I always saw marriage like a prison, both keep you stuck. But Jackie's there's no one else I would do to prison for, no one else I would want to be stuck with. Sam, she is the biggest mistake I ever made. She is the one thing I can never forgive myself for. I stayed with her because I figured you would move on eventually but the truth is Jackie, the idea of you in someone else's arms kills me. It hurts. I don't deserve you Jackie Beluah Burkhart but man do I love you."
He knows that if anyone heard him they would make fun of him, but that's what loves does to you. It changes you, it makes you better.
He doesn't deserve Jackie but he wants to change, be someone worthy of being in her life.
Jackie feels a weight lift off her shoulders.
She turns to him and her hand reaches for his face and she leans in slowly and kisses him.
Hi! Sorry that it took me forever. I hit a bit of a roadblock with this chapter so I scrapped what I had and started over and I'm much happier with the result.
Let me know what you think of this.
I believe we have maybe 4-6 more chapters before we are done with this.
-Queen