A/N: Inspired from the fantastic one-shot "Worst" written by baneismydragon. You should definitely check it out. This chapter is more or less an elaboration of the ideas bane suggested.

Chapter 5: Hindsight

Gabriel's inner toil and remorse after realizing Adrien is the bearer of the Cat Miraculous.

He was pretty sure he had never felt so sick in his entire life. Gabriel's legs trembled madly as he dragded himself up the stairs to his room, his knees threatening to let him collapse with every step. Deathly tight was his grip as he repeatedly clamped his hand around the railing with each step forward, arduously reaching the top of the staircase. Stumbling clumsily down the hallway, he finally reached his door and fumbled with the door handle for a long moment before he successfully opened it. After stepping into the room and closing the door behind him, he collapsed completely, losing all will to continue his facade. Nothing mattered anymore. Not now. Not after everything he had done. Gabriel broke down completely. Losing every ounce of dignity he carried himself with on a daily basis, his face sunk into his hands as he let out a lugubrious sob.

All of his attempts had been futile after all. Every. Single. akuma he had created to acquire the cat and ladybug Miraculouses had been unequivocally more damaging than he had ever intended them to be. Not in his darkest nightmare had he ever meant to harm his son. Adrien. . . If he ever knew. . . knew that he was responsible for all of the torment and damage razed upon the citizens of Paris. . . He would never forgive him. In all of his efforts to restore life to the way it had been, he had driven Adrien away from him. Everything he did was to restore their family to the way it once was, but in doing so he had all but eradicated what trust Adrien had left for him. In addition to all that, if the teen ever was brought to the knowledge that he was the madman behind the mask, his trust would surely be shattered forever, beyond all hope of repair. He could never know.

Gabriel's body shook uncontrollably, racked with unparalleled guilt and remorse as the past reeled through his mind like a film stuck on replay. It was all so obvious now. Images of the 'insufferable' cat boy were replaced by the realization of him and his son being one and the same. Every time he was injured, every time he was influenced by the akuma, every single time- it was Adrien. He had been so blinded by ambition that he missed all the cues. The fact that the boy was never seen at the same time as Chat and rarely with Ladybug, and that Chat was always around when akumas attacked Adrien's school, or that he had increasingly been sneaking out at night from his room on the second floor . . . How had he never even considered the possibility? 'The magic of the Miraculous' Nooroo would probably remind him, but that did nothing in the way of providing any amount of consolation. It never would. Not now that he knew the truth of what he'd really been doing.

Bile rose in his throat what felt like every half minute or so. He could barely contain himself. Scrambling desperately on all fours across the carpet, he barely made it to the tile of the bathroom before he retched violently. His fingers trembled, white-knuckled against the floor as he continued to vomit with tears still streaming down his face, dropping to mix with the soiled tiling beneath him. Long minutes passed. He still couldn't stop. Were it possible, it seemed his body was physically rejecting the thoughts that ate at his soul, and it wasn't any more than he deserved. Blurry patches and shapes now occupied his vision as he now dry heaved, a heavy sweat sat at his brow running down his face along his jaw, dripping from his chin. Strength abandoned him when his arms crumpled, causing him to collapse onto his side with a pained grunt as his body continued to convulse. Perhaps this was the end; A fittingly pathetic end to one who had been so thoughtless and cruel.

A small tapping sound in the background met his ears, or at least the one that wasn't sitting in the puddle of his own fluids. He disregarded it as exhaustion overtook him, when it happened again. Something heavy moved, and a timid voice called out.

"-ath-"

The sound of his own heart palpitating heavily against his rib cage drowned out the sounds. His eyes started listlessly at the dismal rainbow of color on the floor before him, but he could feel something faint, thumping rhythmically against the floor under his legs. A soft breeze of moving air passed over his face when someone suddenly stooped down into his view.

"Father!"

Adrien had somehow come to find him at this abnormal time of day and the purpose of his visit was very much unknown. The boy's arrival, while he could feel a shred of gratitude rise in his heart, filled him almost entirely with a renewed guilt and shame that threatened again to overtake his consciousness as it shoved his thoughts back into a dark spiral. The boy shook his shoulder gently, continuing to call out to him. Gabriel's breathing was still heavy, making it difficult to will himself to interrupt it with speaking, but Adrien's expression showed the boy was truly terrified. He coughed thickly as he attempted to clear his throat, additional blood spattering against the floor.

"M'so'sorry," Gabriel managed to half slur before sucking in another labored breath.

Adrien gaped at him before he started to shout Nathalie's name frantically over his shoulder. His father's lips were covered with blood, as was much of the surrounding floor, riddled with chunks of partially digested food and great amounts of stomach acid. Adrien clamped a hand over his own mouth as he suppressed the urge to gag at the sight and the smell, quickly wrinkling his nose with resolve as he tried to lift Gabriel at the shoulders. The size difference proved too great as Adrien struggled to move his dead weight, so he called out to Nathalie again, desperately hoping his instructions reached her ears. He didn't dare leave his father alone in a state such as the one splayed before him. Instead, he reached quickly for a towel to fold it in half, placing it beneath Gabriel's head. He then sat anxiously next to where he lay, gripping his suit jacket tightly in his fist.

Gabriel's wet, weary eyes met the those of his son.

"Don't. You can't leave me too," Adrien stammered against the cry that sat at the edge of his tongue.

"You. . . have every right- to hate me," was all he chose to reply.

"Hate you-?" Adrien repeated back. "I- I don't- hate you. Not- not at all!"

He shouted his last statement as the cry finally escaped his grasp, tears breaking loose into large streams down his cheeks. Gabriel didn't know how to react. Never mind having never been good at communication outside of formal settings, he was the least deserving of his son's love. None of Adrien's worry and concern was supposed to be spent on his account. He was supposed to react with spite and malice, bid him good riddance, damning him for every treason he had committed. Having been the cause of his sudden decline in health was just one more reason that could be added to his long list of transgressions. He was selfish enough to cause his own body to shut down and abandon the boy, even after everything else he had already subjected him to.

Part of him wanted to live, if only to spare Adrien the loss of another parent. He really did owe the boy that much, at least until he figured out what he had done; he could then accept imprisonment for his crimes, or what may come. But now he wasn't sure if his requirement was enough to pull himself back out, as he could feel his consciousness fading, slipping from his control as easily as water from cupped fingers. Adrien seemed to notice too as his eyes grew wide again and he demanded he stay awake, the volume in his voice increasing to almost equal the rate at which his hearing was becoming more and more muffled. He lifted a shaky hand resting it on Adrien's forearm before it dropped in a sad effort to comfort the boy. Adrien gripped it tightly his his hand that wasn't already holding onto his suit, pulling it up to his forehead as he bowed and let out a sob.

A/N: This probably didn't do remote justice to the fic that inspired it, but it was a good exercise anyway. Trying to convey hopelessness, depression, etc. in writing can be quite challenging.

Lastly, a few of you have given me suggestions for additional chapters. I totally love that! So be looking forward to those in the future, and if any of you have other ideas, feel free to let me know either via review or pm.