The fifth installment from this universe, the last vignette written for everlarkbirthdaydrabbles. That said, I hope to continue writing scenes from this universe, as the mood strikes me.
Golden light spills over the windowsill, flows like honey along her bare back to pool in her ebony hair, tousled across white pillowcases. Watching the sunrise paint my gorgeous wife in fire is one of my favourite things. My pencil flies over the paper, trying to capture the peaceful incandescence of the moment. Knowing how fleeting it's likely to be.
It's mornings like these that I have to pinch myself. I can scarcely believe how lucky I am. My Katniss, the love of my life, stretched out in bed beside me. Our little girl asleep down the hall in her purple princess room. And maybe, just maybe… My eyes flit to the slim white box poised on the dresser.
"Peeta, how long have you been watching me?" Her voice is husky with sleep as she squints at me over her shoulder. I've been so caught up in daydreaming about possibilities that I hadn't noticed she'd woken up. But she's smiling.
"Not long, Love," I promise, tossing the sketchbook and leaning over to kiss her shoulder, the skin sleep-warm and smooth as silk. She groans softly as I lie down, pulling her back snugly against my chest.
"It's so early." It isn't, really, but it's Saturday, and we both usually sleep in a little on Saturday mornings. But she knows why I'm awake. She's the one who said we had to wait until Saturday to test. "Worse than the first day of school," she grumbles, but she's trying not to laugh, I can hear it in her voice.
We've been trying for a baby since our wedding four months ago. And Katniss, whose periods are so regular you can almost set your watch to them, is now eleven days late.
I wanted to test on day one. Katniss balked, unwilling to let either of us get our hopes up. But when she skipped her regular sushi lunch with the girls this week, I knew she had her suspicions too.
She rolls over, the sheets clutched over her chest. She's still, after nearly two years together, so shy. It's endearing. And though I'm as anxious as a kid on Christmas morning, I can't resist pinning her under me and kissing her, letting my hands wander, tickling and teasing that gorgeous expanse of bare olive skin under the covers.
Finally, she pushes me away with a smirk and wraps herself in the orange silk robe I bought her last Christmas. She snatches the box off her dresser and walks towards the ensuite. I move to follow her, but she snorts delicately. "I don't think so," she says. "There are some things I prefer to do without an audience."
I don't have time to get upset about being left behind before she comes back and sits on the bed beside me. The packaging is just barely visible through the open bathroom door, propped on the edge of the sink. The little stick with all of the answers. "Two minutes," she says, and there's the faintest tremor in her voice.
"Nervous, Love?"
"Yeah," she says softly. Then she laughs. "Hell yeah. Aren't you?"
It's a bit of a loaded question. Because while all of this is completely new for Katniss, it's not for me. Of course, it's different this time, in pretty much every way. Cassie - as much as I adore her and as much as I wouldn't change a thing - she was definitely unplanned, her mother a virtual stranger. But now, with Katniss, I want for that little stick to have a plus sign on it so badly that I'm shaking. I want a baby that's a bit of her and a bit of me, a sister or brother for Cassie. I'm not sure I've ever wanted anything more. I chuckle. "Maybe a little," I admit. She grips my hand tightly, and we wait.
Two minutes isn't very long, but it feels interminable when your dreams hang in the balance.
"I'm scared," she whispers, the first time I've ever heard Katniss admit to being afraid of anything. She's the one who chased a mouse out of our kitchen two weeks ago, she's the one who climbed the oak tree in our yard to fetch Cassie's kite. Fearless barely scratches the surface of how brave she is.
"Of what?" I whisper back. She doesn't meet my eyes, instead laying her head against my shoulder, playing with my fingers. Spinning my wedding band around and around.
"If it's negative," she breathes, "you'll be so disappointed."
"Maybe a little, but we'll keep trying," I try to reassure her. "We have plenty of time." She nods.
"But if it's positive…" she trails off. And though my heart is pounding in terror that she's changed her mind, I wait for her to finish. "What if I'm a bad mother?" It's so faint, I barely hear her.
I shift on the bed, cupping her cheek in my hand to tilt her face to mine. Her silver eyes are completely serious. "Katniss," I breathe, and disbelief is evident in my voice. "You are already a phenomenal mother!" And she is. She dotes on Cassie, volunteers as a leader for Cassie's Brownie troop, helps coach her T-ball team. She's patient and kind, firm and loving, and Cassie has completely thrived in her care. And even before that, Katniss practically raised her younger sister Prim after their father's death. I've never met anyone as nurturing as Katniss Everdeen Mellark.
"It's different, with Cassie. She was already a person when we met. I don't have any idea about babies. I've never even really been around babies. What if… what if I can't love it?"
I don't dare laugh because I can see she isn't joking. "Sweetheart." I kiss her downturned lips softly. "You have the biggest heart. You are so loving with Cassie, and you are going to love any babies we have so much. It's going to be fine. Trust me."
She wraps her arms around me, her lips just grazing my neck. "Okay," she whispers, and I feel the words against my skin and in my heart.
Those two minutes were up nearly ten minutes ago, but I continue to hold her, breathe with her. Wait until she's ready. Finally, after what feels like another eternity, she pulls away. "Okay," she murmurs again. Then she stands, and pulls me up too.
We walk to the bathroom together.
Despite her uncertainty minutes ago, the smile that graces her face when we see the pink plus sign on the pregnancy test is huge. "Oh my God, Peeta," she laughs as tears sparkle in the corners of her eyes.
"We're having a baby!" I pick her up and spin her around in the narrow confines of our bathroom, her laughter sounds like relief.
"I can't wait to tell Cassie," she says.
I'm anxious to tell her too. But it's still early, Cassie won't wake up for at least another hour yet. Right now, I'd like to celebrate with my pregnant wife. So I kiss my Katniss, my love, and carry her back to our bedroom.