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[ Un Pétrin sans Espoir: how delightful ]

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Chapter Three

brotherly bonding time

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"Giddy-up!"

Bubbly giggles shower over me as I crawl on my knees around the living room. My back is groaning and my knees are turning numb, but the content laughter makes me grit my teeth and strive on. I don't know how many laps I've been doing since I've gotten here. Perhaps I'm making up for lost time at fulfilling my uncle duties.

"Come on, Uncle Takeru!" Naoki commands, "Faster!"

The kids spared no time warming up to me, with Naoki automatically hurling his tiny body onto my back, and Ryota swearing for me to take him to Disneyland for his seventh birthday.

For the past hour Naoki and Ryota have been taking turns riding on my back. During this time, I began to think of how much I would despise it if I were reincarnated as a horse. Weird thought, but it's bound to cross your mind when you've done as much laps as I have.

I stagger, almost losing my balance when more weight is added onto my back. My shoulders almost cave in. Joining Naoki's laughter, is Ryota's evil cackling. Sometimes I wonder whether Ryota is the older brother, because right now he is literally killing me.

"Guys! I can't carry you both at once!" I pant.

"What if I stand up?" Ryota tells me.

My eyes almost bulge out at the thought. Before I can protest, I can feel tiny feet reposition itself on the top of my shoulder blades. Ryota leans slightly to the right, and soon all three of us are tumbling onto the floor. The kids are shrieking in amusement, while I'm close to crying.

Every bone in my body aches. I'm not as fit as I used to be. If I'm getting easily fatigued by this, I really must be aging. Another reminder I need to hit the weights this weekend, or at least go to the gym.

"Give your uncle a break, kids!"

Sora's emerged from out of the kitchen, apron framing her body and knife in hand. Her hands are on her hips, facial expression pressed with a scowl. Even when mad, my sister-in-law is quite attractive. As opposed to the first time I've met her, Sora no longer harbours the tomboy image. Her hair is shining and long, she's curvier and has gained weight in the right places - that, or it could be because she's pregnant. Either way, she's glowing. Motherhood suits her well.

I stand back onto my wobbly feet, while the kids disperse into another room to cause havoc.

"That's why you shouldn't entertain the rascals. I warned you." My brother's voice hovers from behind the sofa. He had expertly not chosen to partake in the torture his children and put me through.

Yamato's has been watching some boring documentary about extraterrestrial beings on television while sipping on a cup of black coffee.

I roll my eyes and compliment his wife instead. "You're a life-saver, Sora. This is why I borrow children and don't own them."

Sora laughs. "You don't want any?"

"Maybe," I say. The subject hits close to home. It's not like I had ever been against having children. At my age, it's something I should be considering. But, of course, I need a partner before I begin to think that far ahead.

"You're good with them though," Sora reasons out.

"Well, I've had experience with raising Kana. Yet, it is different with your boys because I can be rough and tackle them."

Sora nods. "On the other hand, Yamato can be cruel to the boys. They crave his attention, but he ends up taking extra shifts, that when he gets home he's all grouchy and watching television."

"I can hear you, you know?" Yamato mumbles, switching the television off to prove a point. "I'm allowed to. I get tired when I get home. And, besides, I'm earning money for the family."

"And so am I," Sora counters. "But you didn't work all day today! Yet, you've been glued in front of the monitor! Tell me, Takeru, why did I marry him? He's such a loser."

Yamato argues, "I am not."

"He only held a rockstar image to disguise his inner geek. Who the hell watches shows about aliens and astronomy on their days off for fun?"

"Don't involve me, Sora," I say, but I'm smirking regardless. "However, I don't disagree with you that Yamato is a hidden otaku."

"Told you," Sora replies in spite, turning on her heel before Yamato can comment.

Yamato grumbles, "Women…"

I chuckle, dropping onto the sofa next to him. I pat his shoulder. "Married life is treating you well, I see."

"I guess," Yamato says. The irritated look on his face relaxes, and there's a hint of a smile.

Sora's probably the best thing that's happened to Yamato. My brother used to be one of those angsty youths. He was worse at expressing himself and he'd put too much weight on his own shoulders, blaming himself whenever things went wrong. For a period, I think he even thought it was his own fault that our parents had divorced. He's an oddball like that. I would have never thought that he'd be like this a decade later: married, successful and having a family. When I was younger, I thought it was more believable for me to settle down first.

I take the remote from Yamato, turning the television back on. After flicking through the guide, I resort to sticking to a channel that is broadcasting an amateur basketball game.

"Still like basketball?" Yamato queries.

"Yeah," I reply.

He's talking to me like I'm sixteen again, like he's trying to continue where we had left off before I had left Japan. He had visited France solo, a handful times, but now that we're both in the same country...it means I'll have to see Yamato more - not that it's bad. I'm just not used to it. For years I wanted to be near my brother, but now it's different because he has his own family and we're used to not being together.

I continue the conversation, stringing it along, "I'm not as good as I used to be because I stopped playing."

"You should get back to it."

When I had moved to France, basketball hadn't been on my mind - my mother had. The whole reason why we had gone to France was because of her pregnancy. I had abandoned my dream to be an athlete, to help my mother out both financially and as an emotional support because she had nobody.

"Perhaps I should," I murmur, thoughtfully. I'm not committed to the thought though.

There are other people that can help care for Kana now. Japan is predominantly more safe than Europe for girls to wander on their own. Then again, I'm not as motivated as Yamato. Whenever Yamato sets his mind on something, he achieves it. I, on the other hand, am I different story.

"Does she like basketball too?"

"Who?" I blink.

He stammers, "Kana-san."

I bite back a harsh laugh because I know I shouldn't laugh about this out loud. Yamato's still awkward as ever to the thought of our younger sister. I don't blame him because he only discovered Kana, much to his anger, when he had randomly visited France when I had just turned twenty. My mother did a good job at hiding Kana from everybody, and I had promised to keep hush about it. Yet, hearing Yamato use the honorific 'san' right after our sister's name is absolutely hilarious.

"Kana-chan?" I correct him. He looks away from me because he can tell I'm amused by what he had called our sister. "No. She hates sports."

Yamato scratches the back of his head. "Then what does she like?"

"Dogs, omurice, scarves, Geography and the violin."

My brother raises an eyebrow. "Music?"

I chuckle. "Yeah, she's like you in that sense. Real stubborn too."

Yamato shoves me on the shoulder, but there's a smile breaking out on his features. In a sense, Kana is very similar to Yamato. Sometimes their resemblance and attitude is uncanny. I had wanted to take Kana tonight, but she had made an excuse that she had homework to do. That, and I think she's shy about meeting Yamato. She had briefly met Yamato when she was five, but she had been hiding behind my mother and I whenever he'd be in the room.

"Asides from your welcome back dinner, I wanted to ask you something…"

"Hm?" I sit up straighter. It's not like Yamato to ask for a favour. He usually likes tackling things on his own, so whenever he wants something from me - or anybody else - it's something to be taken seriously.

"Sora and I...we want to get married again. A formal wedding, with a proper ceremony and all," Yamato says. "In a month, actually. It's lucky that you're back in Japan. I would have asked you over the phone-"

"But aren't you already married?" I answer back, bemused. "You guys eloped eons ago!"

"That's the reason why," Yamato states. "I want to give her a proper wedding now that we can afford it. It's always been on my mind, Takeru, how I could never tie the knot in front of our family and close friends. She never even got to wear a proper wedding dress…"

"So you're going to do it again?"

"Why not?"

I chuckle. "And I thought you weren't a romantic. Everybody's got it wrong."

"Can you stop joking about this?" Yamato grumbles. "Maybe I'll change my decision and not have you as one of my groomsmen-"

"I'll say yes to that," I slice in.

I'm still salty about Yamato getting married without telling anybody. Maybe my mother's rubbing onto me. Regardless, I'm looking forward to being there on part two of my brother's special day. The sound of being in a bridal party sounds amusing.

"Even if I didn't designate you as best man?"

Yamato's watching me with curious, concerned eyes. The hesitance in his voice makes me chuckle louder. Don't tell me he's been worried about how I'd react to not being the best man? I already knew that he'd pick Taichi. We've been separated for a long time, and it would only make sense that Taichi be the best man because it had been he who had introduced Sora to Yamato.

"Of course not," I scoff. "No hard feelings at all. I don't know why you have to get so worked up over something so trivial, bro."

I see his shoulders loosen up. Wow. He really had been worried.

"So which hot babe will I be with? Is she single?" I drawl, leaning back into the chair.

Yamato smirks. "Sorry to disappoint. Hikari's your partner."

"Hikari?" I raise an eyebrow, biting back a groan. I shouldn't be surprised, but I hadn't really thought that Hikari would have gotten closer to Sora over the years to be dubbed as one of her bridesmaids.

"Yeah. It makes sense for you to be with her." Yamato rambles, "Miyako's going to be paired with Koushiro, and I thought it would be less awkward if I partnered you up with Hikari since you were close friends and all…"

Were.

I suppress a cringe, faking a smile. Yamato can be very observant of particular things; but absolutely clueless about other things. I can't really argue with my brother here, and say I'd rather be buddied up with Miyako. It's his wedding, so it's his call to make the decisions.

"Sure."

Let's forget Hikari wanted to bite my head off when we had seen each other last. Let's forget she doesn't seem like the Hikari I know anymore. She doesn't seem fun either, with the manner of an authoritative, characterless teacher. Let's forget that she doesn't want to have anything to do with me right now. I'm not stupid. She made darn sure she had made the message clear the last time I had spoken to her.

We banter on until the rest of the dinner guests arrive. I, apparently, hadn't been the only one my brother had invited to dinner.

Taichi and Daisuke attack me with firm, suffocating, hugs and Mimi gives me a peck on both cheeks in greeting. Originally, Yamato had only asked Taichi and Mimi to come over, but Daisuke had tagged along because he had been on the end of the other line when Yamato had invited Taichi over the phone.

"It's because he's going through a break up," Mimi whispers to me. "He won't leave Taichi and I alone!"

On the other hand, Taichi speaks to me in a less discreet approach. "It's like he's surgically attached to me. When Daisuke heard your name in the conversation, he practically swooned because he now has another single guy to keep him company. So, we're more than pleased, that you can officially take Daisuke away from us."

"That bad, huh?" I comment.

"We can't get rid of him," Mimi complains. "He's like a dog."

"But I thought you liked me being your third wheel," Daisuke rebukes. "Come on, guys! You love me! Who else would play Counter Strike with you, Taichi? And, you, Mimi...you enjoy me helping out when you bake cakes."

"You're not kidding," I remark, shaking my head. "Has he been living with you guys this whole time?"

Daisuke tells me, "Two weeks."

"Two weeks and three days." Mimi counts with her fingers, clearly unimpressed.

"Not for long! There's this new club we should check out that's a block near us. I say we ditch this place and go!" Daisuke exclaims. "Unless you know any cute ladies you know that you can hook me up with?"

I smirk. "I've left them all back in Paris."

Daisuke high-fives me, Taichi is guffawing, while I hear Mimi mutter under her breath, "Gross."

We sit at the table and help scoop ourselves spoons of soup. It's shabu-shabu night in the household, but I have a fair inkling that it's Yamato who has suggested for Sora to prepare it since he knows it's my favourite dish. Hot pot is meant to be eaten with a bunch of people, and it's perfect for my first official gathering.

Over the steaming pot, Sora places a bowl of cooked vegetables in front of Ryota. She questions, "Hikari couldn't make it?"

I frown. Maybe she decided not to come out because she knew I'd be here.

"Date night," Taichi gruffly mumbles.

However, I watch as Taichi digs his chopsticks into a slice of cooked beef. So Hikari isn't lying. She is dating somebody after all. I mean, she has to be if Taichi looks this irritated. Even though we are older, Taichi still seems quite over-protective of his younger sibling.

I'm not the only one who hasn't noticed Taichi's actions. Naoki's giggling and is copying him, taking his own turn at stabbing his meat with the chopsticks. Yamato sends my nephew a cold glare, and Naoki quietly cowers away. Poor kid. I've been on the receiving end of my brother's glares, so I completely understand how he is feeling.

We must have been all famished because half an hour later, we've drained everything. That, or Sora's cooking's great. Yamato really has scored because even mother can't cook this well.

"Catch up sometime. We need to wingman each other," Daisuke mutters to me, "I'll send out my number to you through Facebook."

"Sounds complicated, but sure," I smirk.

At least I have an ally; another single bachelor amongst our friends to keep me company. As selfish as this sounds, I'm kind of glad Daisuke broke up with his latest girlfriend. I am happy that all my friends are now partnered up, with some even having their own family, but sometimes it's easier to hang out with single people because they don't have as many commitments and responsibilities.

Alright, maybe I'm lying. I have Kana. My mother. My new job. A new country to get used to...but that doesn't mean I can't have fun, right?

I'm the last at the front door. When I bend down to put my shoes on, Yamato holds the door open for me. "Are you sure everything is good?"

"What do you mean?" I ask.

I zip up my jacket, fixing the collar up as I glance at my older brother. Although he's seeing me off, he's blocking me from leaving. He's staring back at me with his typical brooding look. I try not to roll my eyes at his gesture. It's like him to pinpoint things and over-analyse everything. Sometimes I think he's better off as a detective rather than an engineer.

Yamato speaks his mind out, "It doesn't make sense. You didn't need to come back to Tokyo. You didn't need to follow mother back here when you had a stable job."

"I'm happy to follow mother wherever she goes," I deflect the topic, smiling.

"You loved playwriting."

I try and not let my smile falter. "I loved many things."

"Then why did you leave Paris?"

-why are you running away Takeru?

Sometimes Yamato sounds very much like Catherine. Both their voices are merging to make the one, that I'm feeling a sense of deja vu as I'm gazing back at my brother in a rather dumbfounded manner. He's always had a knack at reading me. We're older; and even now I can still can say that he's one of the few people that can see through my lies.

"I'm tired. I needed a new change of scenery. Even new girls to look at. Yes. Maybe I've got an Asian fetish," I joke. Yamato scowls, not looking the least bit satisfied with my reply. I let out a long sigh. "That or maybe I really am a coward."

"Why?" His intent blue eyes are narrowing in concern.

"I'll let you in on the secret another time, big bro."

Grinning, I clap my hand on his shoulder and squat my body downwards, slipping past under his arm. Yamato yells after me, but I ignore him.

After all, if I was never that co-operative with my brother as a kid; what makes him think I've changed now?

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