The Girl and The Gangster
Summary: After being turned down from every secretarial role in Birmingham, Alice becomes desperate. Unable to provide for her sick mother, herself and more importantly, her young child, she takes a chance on joining the Shelby Company ltd. But when she runs into a familiar face, her whole world comes crumbling down around her.
Chapter Three
He led her into his office and switched on the lamp by his desk. Alice was still crying and no matter what he said to her on the walk over, she wasn't calming down. Michael poured two drinks and handed a glass over to her.
"Make yourself comfortable." He instructed as he sat in his chair, setting one hand on the arm rest of the chair and the other wrapped around his glass. He watched her as she lowered herself into the chair. "Take a sip and calm your nerves."
"What is this?"
"Gin, do you drink gin?"
"I don't drink at all."
"Well, you'll like it. It's sweet."
She forced the alcohol down her throat and set her glass on the desk. "I know that you're probably angry with me."
"Angry is an understatement, I'm livid." He let out a frustrated groan and downed the glass in one. "But I know you, you kept our son a secret for a reason. I want to hear your side of the story."
"Do you remember the summer I left?"
"I remember it as if it was yesterday."
"I was so moody, and we had been having arguments?"
He nodded and waved for her to continue.
"I didn't know what was going on with me, we were being so careful when we were running off together so, being pregnant didn't come into my mind. It was when I was nearly a month late that I asked for my mother's advice and she didn't react the way I thought she would."
"I'm going to assume that she wasn't happy about your condition."
Alice's bottom lip trembled as she looked away from Michael's face. The shame that she felt back then riddled her once more as she thought about to look of fury on her mother's face.
"She nearly threw me out, but my dad stopped her, reminded her that it was their grandchild I was carrying. They kept demanding to know who the father was, but I heard them talking at night saying that they'd string whoever it was up. My dad said something about Danny sorting it so I knew I couldn't tell them it was you."
"But why didn't you tell me? I could've made it right."
"By marrying me? My dad wouldn't have allowed it, he'd rather have had you dead."
He knew Alice's parents, her father always used to scare him when he was a teenager. It didn't matter how long he had been away from the camps; the man still spoke like a gypsy. He refilled his glass then poured her another and leaned back into his chair. "So, why'd you leave the village?"
"A couple of days after I found out I was pregnant, my mother started worrying about people gossiping in the church so for her peace of mind, my dad decided that we were to move and he told me that if I wanted to keep the father of my child safe, I'd keep it a secret from them. I couldn't let anyone hurt you because of something we both did; I know for a fact that my dad would've brought Danny and his boys down to put you in a shallow grave."
"Nothing would've stopped me from being a father to that boy, not your father or your brother."
"You say that now because you're a Peaky Blinder, but you weren't that back then. You were a sweet boy who helped me tend the horses in the stables and picked me apples from your mother's orchard."
Michael knew that she was right, back then he was nothing compared to the man he was now. "Let me get this right then... You didn't break things off with me because you stopped loving me, but because you wanted to protect me from your family?"
She let out a sigh and nodded at him. Alice knew that she had hurt him, she wasn't blind, she could see it in his eyes. She just didn't realise how much pain she caused him.
"Then why did you tell me that you stopped loving me? Why would you choose to break things off with me at that white well where I told you I loved you?"
"If I told you I was leaving, you would've looked for me and if you still had good memories of me, you would've come for me. I had to make sure that you hated me, you had to stay away and move on with your life."
"When I first met Tommy, I told him that I wanted to blow up that well because every time I thought of it, I felt my heart break a little more. I did hate you, I thought I did until I saw you this morning."
Alice dried her eyes and lit up a cigarette for herself. She wished that she didn't have to cause him that pain but in the grand scheme of things, it kept him breathing. If she had to make the choice again, she wouldn't have changed her decision.
"If you're that scared of me getting killed, why are you telling me now that I'm your son's father?"
"My dad died a year after Johnny was born and a year after that my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer." She watched Michael's expression change, he didn't seem angry with her anymore, instead he seemed to be sympathetic.
"I'm so sorry, Alice." He said sincerely.
"I went looking for you after my mother's diagnosis; my dad was gone, and my mother didn't speak to Danny, so I knew things would've been safe. But you weren't at the village and your mother refused to tell me where you went. I even went to a fortune teller to see if she had answers, but she was a scam." She ducked her head and placed her hand on her forehead. "She played me for a fool and told me you were in Manchester."
He reached across the desk for her hand, giving it a small squeeze before settling back into his chair. It was hard for him to be mad at her now that he saw the bigger picture. Alice thought that she was doing the right thing; if anyone was to blame, it was her family.
"Life's just gotten harder, my mother's on death's doors and I'm raising Johnny by myself."
"It doesn't have to be like that anymore, I want to be a part of Johnny's life. I want to help raise him."
His face was dripping with concern, she was different, and it wasn't just being a single mother that made her like this. Keeping a secret for that long had ate away at her vigour, watching her son grow up without a father had stole a piece of her soul. Michael knew what it felt like to lose your mind and spirit.
"I think this is the gin talking, because I'm normally not so rash, but why don't you come home with me and you can see your son for the first time?"
"Are you sure about this?"
"I'll even let you tuck him in."
A small smile crept onto his face and sort of excitement filled him at the prospect. He couldn't have imagined that he feel like this so quickly, it was because it was Alice, she was his first and only love. "I'd like that a lot."
They were able to speak more freely now that there was no secret weighing Alice down, she was able to tell him all about their son and what he was like as he grew up; all the tantrums and how he was getting on at school. She could tell that he was hanging on her every word, eager to know about Johnny. She unlocked the front door and led him up to her room where Johnny was sleeping. Michael took his hat from his head as he looked at her room first; she didn't have much, a few dresses hanging on the handle of her door and one book on her nightstand and then he looked to her bed and saw the boy, fast asleep. He watched Alice as she sat down slowly by her son's side and noticed how delicately she moved his mop of chocolate brown hair from his face. Johnny stirred and latched himself to her side before she scooped him up into her arms. She stood up and brought his son to him so that he could get a closer look.
"He's your spit image, isn't he?" she whispered, kissing the top of her son's head lovingly.
"He looks like me when I was his age." He set his hand gently on Johnny's head, petting at his hair. He didn't know much about kids, but it was clear that Alice did everything right by the child; he was well fed, and he seemed so content. He watched her as she stared down at their child, it was a sight that he wanted to see more often. "Do you mind if I hold him?"
Her eyes rolled up to him and she could see how much he wanted to by the way his eyes twinkled in the candlelight. "Of course." She passed the child over carefully and smiled as Johnny's arms wrapped around his neck in instinct. "Luckily, he's a heavy sleeper."
A warm feeling entered his heart as he held onto his child for the first time ever. It was then that he knew what unconditional love was, it was something that he didn't know he needed until now. When he looked at Alice, he couldn't be more thankful that she was Johnny's mother, she done such a good job considering her circumstances.
"Where's his room?"
"Next door, I'll show you."
She squeezed past Michael and showed him into Johnny's room. His toys were neatly put away and his room was better decorated than hers. The child had everything that he needed while she barely had anything, and it made Michael feel guilty. He lived an indulgent lifestyle, he spent his money freely while she scrimped and saved to spend every shilling she had on Johnny.
He placed him on the bed and pulled the quilt over him, tucking him in tightly. He turned when he felt Alice's hand on his shoulder and saw her standing with a teddy bear in her arms.
"He doesn't like sleeping in his own bed without this." She explained as she handed it over to Michael. "It needs to be tucked in with him or I'll hear all about it in the morning."
He smiled and placed it under the covers with the boy. He knew he should let him sleep in peace, but all he wanted to do was listen to him snore and watch him as he dreamt. Once he had his fill for the night, he followed Alice out of the room and closed the door over as soundlessly as he could. He looked down at Alice as she shrugged her coat off and draped it over the bannister. He didn't know what to say, he couldn't risk messing things up.
"I would invite you to sit and talk downstairs, but my mother only moves from the settee on good days." She reached behind her head and took out the pins that held her bun in place.
"I don't want to keep you, I can tell that you're exhausted." He set his hand on the cracked bannister and moved his hand towards hers, letting his finger brush against her skin. He was pleased when she didn't pull her hand away from him.
"I'm always exhausted, this is just how I look now." She said light heartedly, her eyes drifting away from his. She didn't know what she was doing, she wasn't thinking rationally anymore. Her head felt light from the gin and her heart was beating so fast that it gave her an adrenaline rush.
"You need some sleep, we both do. I know that Tommy gives you the weekends off to be with Johnny, so if you'll let me, can I see you both tomorrow?"
"Just the three of us, I don't want to confuse Johnny too much by introducing him to the rest of your family."
"It'll just be us, what do you think?"
She took her hand away from his and rested it on her chin. "I'd like that, so would Johnny. Now that he's getting older, he's asking a lot of questions."
"I'll pick the two of you up tomorrow morning, not too early so you can get a lie in and hopefully I'll be able to answer some of his questions." he leaned into her hesitantly and placed a delicate kiss on her cheek. "Goodnight, Alice."
The next morning, when Alice woke up, she was surprised to find that Johnny wasn't sitting at the end of her bed, willing her to wake up. She could hear him talking downstairs and when she went to investigate, she found that her mother was finally able to get herself off their settee. Agnes had already fed Johnny and she was watching him play with his wooden horses on the floor in front of the fireplace. Alice smiled as she sat down beside her mother, watching her with such content.
"Morning mother, how're you feeling today?"
"I'm not perfect but I feel a lot better." She looked at her daughter and reached across to hold her hand. "I almost got a full night's sleep."
"You must've needed it."
Agnes was silent for a second, she didn't know if she should ask her daughter who was at the door last night, but the curiosity was gnawing at her. "Was I dreaming when I heard someone at the door during the night?"
Alice moved from her seat to the floor; Johnny was adamant that his mother was going to play with him. "You weren't dreaming, mother."
"So, who was at the door? Was it a gentleman caller?"
Alice glanced at Agnes from the corner of her eye and raised a brow. "A gentleman caller? Do you really think I have the time for a gentleman caller?"
"Well you had time to disappear for a while; I didn't even hear you come back."
"If you must know, it was Johnny's father and I've agreed to let him meet him today." She pressed her lips together and waited for the barrage of accusations to be thrown her way, but her mother was unsuspectingly calm. Agnes just didn't have the same fight in her.
"Who is Johnny's father? If he's going to be calling here at all hours, then I should know."
"Do you remember Henry Johnson? He used to bring apples over and you'd bake them into pies?"
Agnes nodded slowly, she remembered the name, but she couldn't find his face. "He wasn't the fellow that had the jet-black hair?" when Alice shook her head, she started to feel frustrated with herself. Why couldn't she remember? "Well which one was he?"
"He had the light brown hair, you used to think he was a pretty boy."
"Yes, he was the boy Rosemary fostered. I liked him, he seemed to be besotted with you."
"He goes by Michael Gray now, because he found his birth mother."
"Whatever he's called now, I'm glad it's him. I always feared that it was someone from Danny's tribe."
"You're taking this very well, mother. I thought you'd argue with me."
"The boy needs his dad and you're old enough to make your own choices; if you want him back in your life, then you decide. I'm not going to be here for much longer."
Alice looked her mother in the eyes when she felt her own well up; they didn't always get along, especially when her mother was in pain and short with her, but she didn't want her mother to die just yet. There was so much living that still had to be done.
"Will you be okay if Johnny and I leave for a few hours?"
"Do what you need to do, I'll still be here when you come back; I might even try to get some fresh air."
Alice jumped up to her feet and pulled Johnny away from his toys even though her protest with a cry and a whimper. "As long as you don't attempt the stairs."
"Not until I get my strength back, go get yourselves ready. You can't be late."
Johnny hated his hair being brushed, but Alice wanted him to look perfect for this big day; it had to go well, she knew that Michael would love him straightaway, but Johnny was going to take some work.
"Now, my little Johnny boy, I need you to be on your best behaviour for mummy." She placed a kiss on his cheek and fixed his hair into position before whispering in his ear, "You're going to see your dad for the first time. Are you excited?"
"Yes mumma, what's dad like? Is he nice?" he climbed onto his mother's knee and played with the ends of her hair, twirling them around his fingers.
"Your father was the sweetest man I knew, we used to love each other very much."
"Where was he? I don't remember him."
"You wouldn't, baby. Nanny, Pops and I moved away before you were born."
"Has dad saw me before?"
"He tucked you into bed last night, you were sound asleep."
Johnny looked up at the face that gave him comfort and watched her lips curl into a smile. "Do you still love dad?"
When she heard a car horn honk outside the house, she set Johnny back on the floor. "That'll be your dad. Go get your coat on and tell Nanny that we're leaving."
He waited patiently outside the house, his stance was wide as he smoked and watched for the door to open. Michael felt nervous, he didn't how Johnny would react to him, he was under no illusion that the child would show the same attitude to him as he did to Alice, but he wanted to build that bond. He threw his cigarette away when the door opened, and he beamed as he lay his eyes on the boy. He crouched down, getting to his level and held his hand out towards him. When Johnny looked to Alice for support, suddenly feeling very shy, she nudged him towards Michael and gave her approval.
"Do you know who I am?" he kept his tone light and his voice low; he didn't want to scare him, and he didn't want to come on too strong. He had to find the balance.
"Mumma says that you're my dad." He said meekly as he kicked his feet.
"That's right, I am. You look just like me, don't you?"
Johnny inspected his face and saw some similarities, it made him lighten up and smile. "Am I going to look like you when I'm a big boy?"
Michael chuckled and glanced up at Alice as she sniggered quietly. "Maybe, would you like that?"
Johnny nodded and turned his attention to his father's car. "You have a car!" he exclaimed giddily.
"I do, have you ever been in one?"
"No, mumma and I always take the train. I don't like the train, it's so loud."
"Maybe later, your mother might let you sit with me behind the steering wheel."
Johnny turned to Alice in a bewildered excitement. He tugged at the end of her skirt and reached for her to pick him up. "Can I mumma? Please?"
"If you want, baby." She lifted him and gazed at Michael. "Where are you taking us?"
"I have a house just outside the city. There's a big garden there, if the rain stays away, Johnny and I can play on the grass." He placed his hands in his pockets and tilted his head. "What do you think?"
"Just the three of us." She reminded him as he opened the car door for them.
"It's a house all to myself, no family gatherings, just yet."
A:N In the next chapter, I'm going to have Michael and Johnny develop their bond a little bit and perhaps let Alice and Michael bond a little too. Thank you so much for reading!