Author's Note:
DARVEY IS CANON!
Jesus Christ, that took eight literal years of my life. But wow, was it worth it.
Thank you for all of the reviews, favourites and follows after I posted the first chapter. I have to confess, it's been a little tricky to continue since the finale but I have an awful habit of not finishing things which I am trying to break out of so here we are with chapter 2.
Donna feels paralysed for an uncomfortable amount of time, failing to register her fiancé's voice beside her.
"Donna, did you hear me?"
"I'm sorry, what were you saying?"
He takes a hold of her hand. "It's time for speeches."
Donna shakes her head, still in a daze. "Speeches? I thought I said no embarrassing speeches."
Thomas smiles at her reassuringly. "Come on, you'd be the last woman I'd ever expect to have stage fright."
"No, it's not that, I just…need a minute."
He reaches out to her, stroking her cheek, "Are you okay? You seem a little frazzled."
Donna forces a smile. "I blame the champagne. I'll just be a second."
She removes his hand from her face, squeezing it gently. She takes off in the direction of the bathroom, her legs unsteady. She bursts inside, checking the stalls to make sure they're empty. She takes a deep breath, staring at her reflection. She turns on the tap, letting the cool water run over her wrists. It does little to keep her blood from boiling.
She could murder Harvey Specter.
She takes several minutes to calm her nerves, re-fixing her dress and hair. She re-enters the room with her signature swagger and joins Thomas. His arm slides easily around her shoulders and she waits for her anxiety to abate, to feel comfort in the arms of the man she loves. Thomas begins to clink his glass and Donna watches as everyone halts their conversations to clink in time with him. For once in her life, the attention is a little too much for her.
"At the request of my fiancé, we will make this toast brief."
There are chuckles and murmurs from the crowd.
"It means a lot to share tonight with all of the important people in our lives."
Bar one.
Donna quickly berates herself for the thought. She catches Rachel's eye for a moment, who is practically beaming at her.
"I can't really believe how lucky I am to have this woman beside me." Thomas looks down at her, and she sees every ounce of his adoration etched all over his face. "I only wish that it didn't take so long to find her."
She feels sick.
There's a brief lapse of time and Donna suddenly realises that everyone is waiting for her to speak. This really is not her best moment.
"I'd like to echo what Thomas said, it really does mean the world to have you all here supporting me, and us. And uh…"
She clears her throat and Thomas gives her a reassuring squeeze. She turns to Thomas, directing her words to him. "You really are so good to me, and good for me, and I can't wait to be married to you."
She kisses him hard, pouring every emotion she has into the kiss. There's a round of whistling and cheering that breaks them apart.
Thomas leans in close to her, "Someone got a little carried away," he says with a suggestive smile.
"I guess you bring it out in me."
"Is it time to go home yet?"
She kisses him briefly again, "I'm thinking an hour, tops."
When Thomas wanders off to speak to some old college friends, Donna makes a beeline for the bar, in search of a drink stronger than champagne.
"Hi, could I please have a Macallan 18, neat."
The bartender eyes her quizzically. "You're actually the second person to order that same drink tonight."
Donna snorts. "I bet I can guess who the other was."
The girl looks confused, but nonetheless pours her drink. "Thank you," Donna says, accepting the drink from her.
She doesn't get too far from the bar when Rachel finds her. "Wow, do I miss alcohol," she says, entwining their arms and dropping her head on Donna's shoulder.
"Wow, do I miss you. Are you sure you don't want your old job back?" Donna asks, looking down at her.
"You mean you haven't replaced me yet?"
Donna thinks back to the few times she's had drinks with Gretchen, Katrina or Samantha. She considers them all good friends, but none could hold a candle to her Michelle Ross.
"Not even close, sweetie."
"Thomas is so great, by the way."
"I found a good one, didn't I?" she says, meaning every word.
"Your speech was…"
"Not my most eloquent moment," she admits.
"Well we're not always eloquent when we're in love, are we?"
"Rach…" Donna's eyes dart around. "Something happened tonight that I need to talk about, but this is so not the right environment."
"Donna, you can tell me anything."
Donna smiles warmly at her best friend. "I know I can, but for now, I'm just going to ask you a hypothetical question."
Rachel stops, disentangling her arm with Donna's and turning to face her front on, all business. "Does this hypothetical question involve the person who slinked out of here before speeches?"
"It might."
"Donna, he is the last person you should be thinking about tonight."
"Rach, I know. I feel guilty for even mentioning it to you. Honestly, it's a non-issue. I'm just going to put it out of my mind."
Rachel fixes her friend with a look that could only say, cut the bullshit.
"Donna," she says in a low voice, "Mike and I both care about him too, but please, don't let him ruin this for you."
Her words are enough to jolt Donna back to reality. "You're right, Rach. I don't even know why I brought it up."
Although she doesn't seem entirely convinced, Rachel gives her a hug. "I'm still here for you, okay? A phone call or plane ride away?"
Donna nods, blinking back tears as she holds her friend. "I know."
"Just remember to be happy, Donna."
I am happy. I am happy. I…
He catches sight of it in the morning when he stops past her office, bringing her one of those sickly-sweet lattes with extra cream and low-fat milk that she loves. He'd grown tired of their tension, their new habit of tip-toeing around each other, so he thought maybe a coffee would be the first step in breaking down this new wall between them.
Her fingers are flying over her key-board but the shine is unmistakable when it flashes right past his eye. It floors him. He clears his throat, avoids looking directly at the ring, a fucking eclipse.
"You brought me a coffee?"
Ten minutes ago it had seemed like the right gesture, now it reeks of inadequacy.
You brought her a coffee and he gave her a ring.
He shrugs, setting the cup in front of her. "I feel like I owe you a few at this point."
She brings the cup to her nose, inhaling deeply. She fixes him with a look, one of mischief, the same expression she used to have when she was about to share an inside joke.
"You owe me about a hundred, but this is a start."
His eyes travel down to her hand then snap back up to her face. There's no way he can play this off, she knows he's seen it.
"It just happened," she says quickly, and Harvey hates how defensive she sounds, as if he'll crumble at the news.
"Well, it's long overdue."
Donna lifts an eyebrow quizzically. "Overdue?"
"You've said yourself that you've been putting the firm first for years."
"And I have," she says neutrally.
Even though it was months ago, Donna breaking privilege for Thomas is still fresh in his mind.
"Well congratulations, then," he tells her, backing away from her desk.
"Seriously?"
Harvey sighs, "Seriously what?"
She stands up from her chair, visibly agitated now. "Fourteen years we've been friends and all you can muster up is congratulations?"
"What would you like me to do, Donna? Jump up and down for you? Offer to be a bridesmaid?"
"I want you to be happy for me."
He flinches, trying not to let the hurt in her voice break him.
"I am happy for you, Donna. What else do you want me to say?"
She sighs avoiding her gaze. Harvey thinks he probably won't ever get used to seeing that look of disappointment on her face.
"I just know that if the roles were reversed," she says carefully, "I'd probably have some feelings about it."
"Is that what you want, Donna? Do you want to see me react?" he claps back at her.
"Harvey, don't turn this around on me."
"You're making this into something it's not, just like you've always done with us."
He's wounded a lot of people over the years with words, but he can safely say he's never seen Donna looking so betrayed. His face falls, an apology already on his tongue when a brazen knock interrupts them.
"Hey guys, just a reminder that these glass walls aren't soundproof, particularly if the door is open."
"Yep, thanks Samantha," Harvey mutters sharply.
Samantha gives them both a tight, sympathetic smile as she pulls away from the door.
Donna squares her shoulders, calmly addressing him again. "Shut the door on your way out."
"Donna, I –"
"Just leave, Harvey."
He storms out of her office, knowing how gravely he's just fucked up. He's had this feeling before after some of their bigger fights; the Coastal Motors memo, her resignation – a terrifying sense of finality. They've always come back to each other before, albeit more vulnerable, their bond a little more tenuous. He's grown accustomed to the blurred lines of their relationship, but Harvey is pretty certain he just drew a bold line right between them.
She's marrying someone else –
And he let her think he didn't care.