The Girl and The Gangster

Summary: After being turned down from every secretarial role in Birmingham, Alice becomes desperate. Unable to provide for her sick mother, herself and more importantly, her young child, she takes a chance on joining the Shelby Company ltd. But when she runs into a familiar face, her whole world comes crumbling down around her.

Chapter Fifteen

She had tried to take the time alone to mourn her mother but isolating herself wasn't doing her or her family any good. It was only preventing her from letting her emotions out because she didn't want to scare Johnny or make him upset. Pol was their saving grace, she kept Johnny at her house and made sure he got to school on time as Michael and Alice travelled to Agnes' grave in the countryside. They made the journey in silence, it was hard for her to find words; her thoughts had been scrambled since meeting Nora and now here she was, taking her advice and confronting her grief. She knew that it was going to be worse than when her father died; she had spent years with just her mother, moving about from place to place and she cared for her before her death. Alice had no illusions that it was going to be easy, she just didn't think that getting over her mother would be this difficult.

He stayed in the car, watching from afar as she made her way to the two little gravestones that resided on top of the hill. She knelt in front of her father's grave for a moment to pay her respects before sitting on the wet grass in front of her mother's headstone. The wind ruffled her hair as she thought about what she was about to say.

A small smile crossed her lips. "I know for a fact that I let you down the last time I was here, you would've wanted me to shoot Danny." She placed her hand on the cold stone and closed her eyes as she tried to find some sort of connection to her mother's spirit and when she felt it, she crumbled. "I've thought about what I'd say when I got here for days, and all I can manage to say is that I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for your final moments, I was so selfish towards the end. I know you pushed for me to make things work with Michael for Johnny's sake, but I could've stopped you… And I'm so angry at you because of what you did, because we're having another baby and this one will never get to hold you like Johnny did or listen to your bedtime stories." She took in a jagged breath and wiped her tears away with the back of her free hand. "But I did what you asked regardless of how I really feel towards you, and I met Nora. She could've used your advice; she hasn't had it easy either. And her eyes, they're exactly like yours. It made it very hard to look at her without thinking about you."

She let go of the grave and buried her head into her hands, sobbing into her palms, wishing that the pain would go away. Her head picked up when she heard Michael's footsteps rapidly approaching her and before she knew it, he was kneeling beside her, his hand rubbing at her back.

"I know this is hard on you, Alice, but you need to get it all out." He reminded her sympathetically. He too knew how this worked; he had been around death most of his life and like her, he blocked it out; but blocking the emotion wasn't going to work for his wife and he knew it.

Alice nodded in agreement and her eyes became fixated on the stone, her voice quivering as she spoke. "I'm so scared, mother. And I don't have you to lean on anymore. You were with me every step of the way when it came to Johnny and he wouldn't be such a good boy without you and now I'm worrying that I'll mess up this time." When Michael wrapped his arms around her shoulders and placed a kiss on the top of her head, she took in a deep breath and held it for a while. "She taught me everything I know Michael and it's been so long since Johnny was a baby, I don't know if I can do this without her."

"Your mother isn't gone, she's just not in the same place as you and you know that better than anyone. You know more about the spirits than I do."

"Do you mind if I have one last moment alone with my parents before we go?"

"Of course, take all the time you need, I'll be in the car." He got onto his feet, wiping the muck from his knees before he stepped back to the car. He glanced over his shoulder, watching as she had one last cry over the grave. He desperately wanted to comfort her, but she asked to be alone and he had to respect that, no matter how much he didn't want to.

In her mind, now that she was back in Birmingham, all that grief was stuck on the hill. But now she was finding herself craving the familial closeness that her mother always gave her and the only one that she was comfortable expressing herself to was Danny; they didn't always see eye to eye, but he was there for a good part of her life and she wasn't ready to look into Nora's eyes, not when the emotion was still so fresh. She hoped that she could trust him because she needed her big brother to fill the void that her mother left and getting close to him could ensure that he wouldn't betray Tommy. It was a win, win.

Before they stepped into Pol's house, Alice gripped Michael's forearm and pursed her lips as she looked up at his face. "I want to thank you for being there for me, this has been so hard on me and you've been there for me in the thick of it."

He tilted his head with a slight smirk and caressed her cheek. "You don't need to thank me; I'll always be there."

She turned her head and kissed the palm of his hand. "There's one more thing I need from you."

"Anything."

"I want to go to Danny's camp."

He gritted his teeth and slowly took his hand away from her face. "Anything bar that. I can't stand the man, Alice. That day at the docks, he really rubbed me up the wrong way."

"I know he can be a nuisance, but I want to have somewhat of a relationship with him." Michael went to step into his mother's house, but Alice gripped his arm once more. "Michael please, I know that if I go by myself, he'll be taunting you the whole time and he'll say things in front of Johnny about you. Besides, both of us being there means we'll have a better chance of sniffing out a blindside." When he peered down at her from over his shoulder, she moved her hand towards his bicep, squeezing it playfully, hoping that she was swaying him. "What do you think?"

"If I don't go, I'll never hear the end of it, will I?"

"You know that I can complain for hours, days if I have to."

"Fine, we'll get this over and done with."

"What do you mean?"

"We're going to get Johnny and go straight there."

"Unannounced?" she watched him open the front door and followed him into the house.

"Why not? He did invite you after all, now we're just accepting the invitation." He stepped into the living room and grinned down at his son. "Guess what?" Before Johnny could answer, Michael answered his own question. "We're going to uncle Danny's caravans."

It was almost dark when they arrived, the sun was setting behind the hill that the camp was in front of and they had started to light their campfires. They got out of the car and Alice kept a tight hold of Johnny's hand, she didn't need him running off and getting lost in a stranger's caravan. Michael got a couple of stares as he stepped into the midst of the camp, but he wasn't fazed, in fact he enjoyed their annoyance at his presence.

"Alice, I didn't think you were going to come." Danny said when he finally showed his face. His eyes shifted between Michael and Johnny, a smile appearing when he laid eyes on his nephew. "And you brought the family."

"We can't stay long, it's a school night," she said as she passed Johnny over to his father, "but I wanted to see you." Before he could say anything, she hugged him tightly.

It was apparent to Michael that it was the first time Alice had shown any affection towards her brother because he seemed to be taken back by her gesture. He just patted her on the back then weaselled his way out of her arms.

"That's fine, I'm sure we'll be having plenty more of these family get togethers after tonight." He took a couple of steps backwards and waved for them to follow. "Come, it's time for you to meet the brood." He walked deeper into the camp and called out to his family. "Theresa! Bring the wains out."

Alice saw Danny's wife, a frail looking woman with long, curly red hair. Her face was freckled and pasty, but she was quite attractive, probably too attractive for Danny. Next came the kids, all red headed and freckled like Theresa but they all had grumpy little faces like their father. She counted five but then one that was barely able to walk broke through the crowd of his brothers and sisters.

"You've been busy, mate." Michael commented as he picked Johnny up, smirking slightly as he noted Danny's grimace at the sound of his voice.

"Yeah, we'll just see how many you and Alice end up with." He replied sharply.

"What're their names?"

"Dad, who's that posh girl?" a small girl with pigtails called out.

"It's your aunt, Alice. You know the one I've been talking about."

"Who?" another child said.

"Right, I'll just go down the line and give you their names. We've got Danny Jr, Sheamus, Erin, that little one is our youngest Siobhan then there's Patrick and Aidan." He placed his hands on his hips and looked towards Johnny. "Those are your cousins, they've got a few toys in there if you want to play with them."

"Uhm, perhaps he could stay with us as you give us a tour." Alice suggested.

"No mumma, I want to play!" Johnny protested, thrashing against Michael to try and break free.

"Wild one, ain't he?" Danny said to his wife with a grin. "You can tell he's family." He looked at Alice then to her husband. "Theresa's good with kids, she'll look after them."

When Alice still looked unsure, Michael put Johnny on the floor and watched him run towards his cousins. "I'll stay here too; I mean seven kids is too much for one person to handle." He folded his arms across his chest and moved towards the kids. "Plus, it'll give you a moment to have that chat with Danny that you've been wanting." When he was behind Danny, he wagged his eyebrows at her, a signal for her to do some digging into any potential plans.

"Fine, you stay with Johnny. We'll find somewhere quiet to have a word?" she looked at Danny expectantly.

"Yeah, if that's what you want little sister." He put his arm around her and led her away from Michael. "I know just the spot, it's where I go when the kids are getting on my last nerve."

He took her to a small seating area by a large oak tree and invited her to sit beside him. He could see that she wasn't completely at ease but that's how he felt being in a city like Birmingham; being out of your comfort zone is always difficult and he knew that she wasn't as strong willed as him. It would take Alice a while to get used to this way of life.

"What were you wanting to talk to me about?" he stretched out his arms and legs before lighting a cigarette. "You don't seem as feisty as usual."

"I've got a lot on my mind and I thought that speaking to you would help me."

"I am the only living blood you've got that isn't a child." He was trying to be light-hearted, but she wasn't in the mood for his jokes and jabs. "What's bothering you?"

"I realised I wasn't over my mother's death, so I went to the graves and spoke my peace with her. But I still feel like something's missing and I came to the conclusion within myself that I need my big brother to be my big brother; not this stranger that I see every few years for a while or this enemy that I have to battle with."

"I've never tried to be an enemy to you, Alice. They are the enemy, the Shelbys are what I'm battling against."

"They're not trying to fight you; they're working with you."

"Yeah, now they are. But that boss of yours always turned his nose up at me even though he started in the camps just like me. And I think that husband of yours forgets where he came from too. That river gypsy he had a for a father, not sure if he even remembers him but I do. Scum." Danny laughed cynically and turned his face away from her as he puffed out his smoke. "And that's coming from scum."

"How do you expect Michael to react to you when you tried to marry me off?" she tried her best to keep calm, letting out a sigh as she turned her whole body around to face him. "He really loves me, and I get that the two of you won't be best friends and you'll probably never like Tommy, but I need you and that should count for something."

"It does 'cause the only reason he's in my camp is because of you and that boy he gifted you. For Christ's sake Alice, don't you see how much I'm trying with you? But I can't forgive the people that have dragged me down for years and that's long before you were in their bed."

"I won't defend Tommy because the only thing he cares about is business, but Michael is a good man and if you at least tried with him, he'd try with you."

"Right, I'll keep the hot head at bay with him." He rolled his eyes slightly and looked back at Alice. "Something's still bothering you."

"I think mother's spirit is angry at me. I couldn't feel her at the grave. I spoke to her, but she didn't reply even though I was sobbing uncontrollably."

"Why do you think she's mad at you?"

"Because I signed her house over to you, and she always despised you."

He shook his head and screwed up his face. "She ain't mad at you because I never filed those papers. I shouldn't have taken the papers in the first place, but I just wanted to prove a point to those Shelby bastards."

She gripped onto the edge of her seat and put her heads towards her knees as she tried to resist the urge to slap Danny. "I have been so worried that mother hadn't come through because of what I did, and you risked all that to prove what?"

"That I was a force that can't be ignored. But in fairness, I didn't think I'd be sitting here, talking to you like siblings."

"Of all the shitty things you've done to me," she looked at him with tears in her eyes, "this is by far the worst."

"Let me try and make it up to you, there's a woman here that can call upon the dead. Let me introduce you to her and see if you can make your mother come out."

"I think that's the least you could do, Danny." She looked away from him. "Take me to her, then."

He led her into one of the caravans, holding back the beaded curtains for her. The older woman was a little startled but relaxed slightly when she saw Danny behind the stranger. She sat behind her table; her hand rested on it flat.

"You're here late boy." She said with a cocked brow. "Who's this?"

"This is my sister Alice, well half-sister." He looked at Alice and nodded towards the woman. "This here is Madame Mahoney and if anyone can contact your mother, it's her."

"Your sister's a fancy one ain't she?" the woman noticed the fancier clothes and the way Alice kept her hair; tied up high, almost knotted and fastened with a jewelled clasp.

"Yeah she's married to a Peaky." When Alice looked over her shoulder at him, he placed his hands on the tops of her arms and sat her down at the other end of the table. "But she's my blood and she'd like to contact her mother."

"Give us the room then, and no eavesdropping." The woman waggled her fingers at Alice and took her hands. "I'll know if you do."

"I'll leave you two to it." He hung around by the door, watching Alice for a few seconds and all he could do was think about how much he had missed in her life. The only memories he had of her were before she was able to have memories of her own. "Alice," he called out, making her turn and look at him, "I hope you get what you're looking for."

As she looked at him, she saw another glimmer of sincerity in his eyes. Perhaps he wasn't as bad as she thought he was and all those bad things he did were out of jealousy and bitterness. Their father did leave him at the camp and she never tried with him. Was it her fault he was like this?

"So, Alice tell me a bit about your mother." Mahoney lit a few candles and grabbed her hands once more, her eyes snapping shut.

"Her name was Agnes, she took her own life a few months ago. She had cancer and I think the pain was too much."

"I can feel a lot of pain, not physical but emotional but it's not coming from your mother. She's here but she has someone else with her."

She leaned forward, her grip on Mahoney's hands tightening. "Is it my father?"

"Yes, I've met this spirit before. Your parents are bickering about you and he's blocking your mother's contact."

"Why are they fighting?"

"Your husband. Your mother is in favour of him, but your father has saw him walk through this camp and he doesn't approve." Mahoney ducked her head, shaking it from side to side. "He wants you to be happy, but he doesn't think you will be. His words for you are 'a gangster's wife ain't a happy wife'."

Her father's words didn't bother her, he wouldn't have approved of Michael because of their history. What she wanted was her mother. "Can I speak to him?"

"He's listening, they both are."

She didn't know where to look, her eyes kept floating around the room. "Dad, Michael is the love of my life, he always has been. I appreciate that you are trying to look out for me but at this moment, I just want to speak to mum. I've felt your spirit around me since the day you left, but mum's holding herself back. I need to speak to her."

"He's gone and Agnes has stepped forward. I don't feel any pain from her, and she wants to talk to you."

"Mother, I've felt so lost without you. Since you left me, I've been through so much in a short space of time and I don't have you to stop my head from spinning. Why haven't you been around? I don't feel your spirit like I feel father's."

"She says she's had to spend some time coming to terms with what she did. She feels guilt but the relief outweighs those feelings. She also says that she must let you take your own path and do what you need to. One thing your mother wants is for you and Nora to become close, she says keep trying and don't be disheartened by the lavish lifestyle she was gifted or the way she looks; it'll be hard for you to get past those eyes but she's family. Also, she did hear everything you said at her grave today. Just know that she'll be behind you every step of the way, yelling at you for putting nappies on wrong and comforting you when you get tired and frustrated. You weren't selfish and you didn't let her down the day of her funeral. In fact, and she says this with a grin, you were very entertaining."

Alice laughed slightly and looked towards the ceiling. "I'm not surprised, at least you got some entertainment."

Mahoney made a noise, tilting her head. "Her attitude has changed; she isn't grinning anymore. Before she leaves, she wants you to know that she loves you and Johnny and to be wary of the men in your life. Each one of them will have the opportunity to betray you, you need to wait and see who does because she can't even see who's going to blindside you."

A:N Danny, Tommy and Michael... Which one of them will be the one to betray her? Will any of them or all of them? Thank you so much for reading and thanks for all the support! Let me know who you think will betray her, does Danny have it in him to hurt her now that they've been in contact? Could Tommy out of frustration and anger or could Michael grow tired of family life?