4/14/18

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The Manipulation Games 3: Rebellion

Chapter Twelve: Therapy

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"So, how are you?"

Strangely, I don't know how to answer Finnick's question. For the past month, I've been imprisoned and tortured by my enemies. But I'm alive. Our country is at war, and anyone could become a casualty. But if we win, the lives of countless children will be spared. My best friend's baby cousin, the only link I have to her, is in a coma. But for the first time in forever, I don't feel so alone. My body is scarred, my hair is gone, and my mental health is nonexistent.

But I don't feel a thing.

No emotion, positive or negative, had truly registered with me since the doctors dragged me away from Ava's comatose body. The closest thing to a feeling I've experienced is a dull feeling of peacefulness, unlike anything I've felt in years. Finnick says it's because they upped my morphine dosage. I don't care what it is- as long as this feeling never stops.

My lips curl into a smile. "I'm okay, all things considered. How are you holding up, Fish-boy?"

Finnick chuckles, laying his head on my shoulder. "I'm better, now that I know Annie's okay. I don't know what I would've done if something happened to her. Or you."

If this were before the Quell, I would've snapped at Finnick to stop being an insufferable sap and get off my stupid hospital bed. But today I'm so glad to see him that I let him invade my personal space. Just this once.

"Well, if something happened to me the Capitol would throw such a big party the rebels could sneak right in and go unnoticed."

Finnick smiles. Genuinely, not like that fake smile he gives for the cameras. I forgot how nice it is when he's truly happy.

"Is that so? Well, maybe we should've left you behind after all. Your death would've been an asset," he teases.

I roll my eyes. "What if I leave you behind?"

Finnick pretends to pout. "Aww, Jo. You hurt my feelings."

Playfully, I push him off my shoulder. He gives me a gentle shove back.

The door opens, and the face of my personal least favorite citizen of District 13 soon comes into my view. District 13's own personal head doctor. I've never bothered to learn his name, as I could care less, and while I highly doubt that he's qualified to be a therapist he has made it his personal mission to act as such. If I had to guess, I'd say he's a Capitol native, given his pompous attitude and shallow view of the world. How and why a Capitolite would want to go somewhere like this I can only assume. Bribery from one of his less over-the-top associates, perhaps. I grit my teeth and prepare for the bi-hourly speech he gives me about how my life could, in theory, be so much worse. I don't see it personally, but hey, whatever floats his boat.

"Mr. Odair, I'll have to ask you to leave. It's time for Miss Mason's session."

Finnick squeezes my shoulder and stands up. I consider whining until the doctor lets him stay, but the sad truth is that I just don't have the energy to put up a fight today. Clearly, there's something wrong with me.

"I'll go see how Annie's doing. I'll be back soon," he reassures me.

"See you then," I say with a smirk, full well knowing that he has no intention of leaving Annie's side anytime soon.

As Finnick leaves, the doctor shuts the door behind him. I shift in my bed, trying to take up as much space as possible to prevent the doctor from taking the place where Finnick once sat. Luckily, he has a bit more of a concept of personal space than my friend does, at least from a physical perspective, and sits down in a barely functioning swivel chair.

"How are you today, Miss Mason?"

Unlike when Finnick asked me this question, Dr. Ego is really only asking me this because it's socially expected. Not really because he's concerned about my well-being or anything. Which means that the only answer I can give is "Good". Not "I'm concerned about Ava's safety" or "I had a panic attack when I tried to shower this morning, so that's new". Just "Good".

"Good," I say, dryly as possible.

Dr. Ego is wearing his fake-st smile today, paired beautifully with the latest fall accessory known as false interest. This chic new look is perfect for the office or any family gathering, and it can be yours today for two easy payments of not giving a crap. Wow! What a deal.

"I just want you to know that this is a safe place, and anything you say here is 100% confidential," he says.

100% confidential between him and Coin, I bet. This is probably less of a therapy session and more of an attempt to see which victors are emotionally stable enough to toss onto the front lines of war without worrying about who will betray the rebels at the first given opportunity. I may be drugged up on opiates right now, but I'm not stupid.

"And I know you went through a lot of trauma during your time in the Capitol, but you're perfectly safe now. You don't have to keep your guard up anymore. You're nothing but safe."

One blank stare later, he keeps talking.

"I think your problem is that you bottle up your feelings. I think you would feel a lot better if you just say what's on your mind. Trying to filter your thoughts will only lead to more repressed feelings."

Yeah, here's the thing buddy. If I did that, I would've been locked up in a mental institution a long time ago. Given that we don't exactly have that many of those here in Panem, it would be quite the feat.

"Miss Mason? Any comments?"

Nothing but another blank, empty stare.

He sighs, probably coming to the conclusion that he's not going to get much farther than he did last time. Which is to say, nothing happened.

"Okay, I'll leave you alone. You need your rest. But give some thought to what I said."

With that, he finally leaves.

I scoff, laying down. Perfectly safe my butt. No one is safe in Panem. But maybe because of the war, we can at least make it a little safer.

On a note more hopeful than I've dared to think for a long time, I slowly begin to drift off to sleep.

…

Disclaimer: I 100% support therapy, even though Johanna does not.

Hi again! I'm sorry it took so long to update. I'm not sure if I posted anything about having a new update schedule last time I posted, but in case I did I don't think I'll be going by it anymore. It clearly isn't working too well, and if anything it's just stressing me out. So we're back to the old system of me posting a chapter whenever I get it written. Hopefully I'll get my crap together soon and get back to updating regularly O.o

(Thank you LostGirl1114 for the reviews! It means a lot to me that you like my fic! I'll try my hardest to update sooner next time ^-^)

Quote of the day!

*to the tune of the Little Einsteins theme song* "We're going on a trip in our favorite rocket ship, zooming through the sky, where the heck am I?" -my sister after we got lost on our way home from the ACT.

May the odds be ever in your favor,

Spectrobes Princess