The Girl and The Gangster
Summary: After being turned down from every secretarial role in Birmingham, Alice becomes desperate. Unable to provide for her sick mother, herself and more importantly, her young child, she takes a chance on joining the Shelby Company ltd. But when she runs into a familiar face, her whole world comes crumbling down around her.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
With the drinks flowing and the banter cracking throughout the room, it was easy for Michael to forget about the pain in his face and his shoulder but he couldn't help but wonder where his wife was, if she was okay or if she was even alive. He didn't trust Danny and knowing how easy it was for Danny to leave him left for dead, it wouldn't surprise him if he did the same to Alice. He got up from the table and headed over to the bar, waving at the barmaid to bring over the phone. He asked the operator to dial up the house and waited for someone to pick up.
"Gray residence."
"It's me, Mrs Adler. Is Alice home yet?"
"No, she called up a few hours ago and asked for you. I told her you were at the Garrison."
"Did she say anything else?"
"Just to speak to Johnny, she said goodnight to him and then hung up."
He rested his arm on the bar and ran his hand over his bruised face delicately. He was panicking a little, where was she?
"How are the kids?"
"They're asleep Mr Gray."
"Okay, thank you. Go get some rest." He handed back the phone and made a dash for the door. He felt a grip on his arm and when he looked over his shoulder, it was his mother with a concerned look on her face.
"What's happened?"
"Nothing."
"You're a terrible liar." She raised a brow at him and tightened her grip. "Is Alice okay?"
"I don't know, she hasn't come home. Mrs Adler said she called but that was hours ago."
"Do you know where she is?"
He shook his head and took his arm away from Pol's grasp. "But I'll find her."
"Let me get my coat and I'll come with you."
"Listen, sit down with Tommy and Arthur and have a good night. If I find her and something's wrong, I'll make a call."
She wasn't going to argue with him, she could see that he was stressed and if she didn't do what he said, he would probably snap. "Okay, just stop worrying. Alice is going to be fine."
He nodded at her and left the bar. He had that much alcohol in his system that he didn't even feel the sting of the crisp air on his skin. He wasn't sure if he was going to be able to find her when he could barely see straight.
His car was abandoned outside the bar, so he knew that Alice was close by. The engine was still warm and when he looked inside, he could see a blood-soaked coat sitting behind the steering wheel. Michael opened the door and looked closely at the coat, recognising it as Alice's. He placed a hand on his head as the fear that it was her blood on the coat set his mind into overdrive. He tried to think like his wife for a moment and knowing her, the only place she would want to be is at her mother's. It was only a couple of streets away and she couldn't be that far in front of him.
There was a gap in the curtains, and he could see that the upstairs light was on. Alice was inside and he hoped that she left the door unlocked because he knew that she wouldn't come down to let him in. He tried the handle, but no luck. He was going to have to pry a window open and climb through.
He fell into the front room and closed the window behind him. Michael picked himself up and dusted himself off, throwing her coat over his good shoulder. He could hear the floorboards above him creak and then he heard footsteps come slowly down the stairs. When the lights came on, he came face to face with wife, but she didn't look like herself. Her face was covered in blood splatter and she was expressionless. She had on only a robe that she clutched onto at the chest.
"Alice," he rushed over to her side and pulled her into him, "are you hurt?"
"No, no he didn't touch me." She croaked out.
"You scared me," he looked down at her face, moving her face from side to side as he inspected her, he could feel her trembling underneath his touch, "are you cold? You're shaking."
"No, I'm just a little overwhelmed." She pulled away from him and tried to push her messy hair back into place. "I was going to go into the Garrison and then I looked down at my hands," she held them out in front of her, staring at the blood that stained them, "I was covered in his blood."
It looked like she was going to be sick, he reached out to her, but she waved her hand at him.
"I just need to get it off me."
"Run yourself a bath and I'll go get you a fresh set of clothes." He held out his hand and as soon as she handed him the keys to the door, he stepped back onto the street. He placed his hand on the brick wall and took in a deep breath; he needed to sober up, he wasn't going to be able to give her what she needs when he couldn't walk in a straight line. He needed Pol, she would be able to get Alice a fresh dress and be able to diffuse the situation.
Michael knew that Alice wasn't going to cope with Danny's murder, and he knew that he should've fought harder to stop her from carrying through with the act.
The water was hot against her skin as she lowered herself slowly into the tub; the smell of the clean soap filled her lungs and when she closed her eyes, she felt at ease but only for a moment. She couldn't get the image of Theresa holding Danny's body out of her mind and when she tried her best to shake it off, she put herself in Theresa's position. It could've easily been Alice that lost her husband, she was very thankful that it wasn't. Alice had to keep reminding herself of all that bad things that Danny done, the bad outweighed the good, she couldn't kid herself by trying to redeem him now that he was dead. She did the right thing, she kept telling herself that until she started to feel somewhat better.
Her hands rubbed all remaining traces of Danny that stained her skin before sinking deeper into the tub, letting everything apart from her face be submerged. As she watched the blood fall into the bathwater, she relived all the lies Danny fed her and remembered all his deceit. She didn't know what to feel anymore, all she felt was numbness. She peeled her eyes away from the water and glared up at the ceiling as her teeth peeled away at the skin on her bottom lip subconsciously as she tried to forget and move on, but she couldn't forget his final words and that look on his face as all signs of life left him. The thoughts that were going through her head were too much for her to handle, or so she thought. She took in a deep breath and held it for a minute as she slipped willingly under the water. She squeezed her eyes shut and in a strange way, felt safe under the warm water. Alice didn't want to come out, she felt at peace, even when her body fought against her to take a breath. It wasn't until she thought about what she would leave behind, her family, that she tried to pull herself out.
The porcelain was slippery, and she couldn't get a grip. She kicked and she flailed but she just couldn't get out. She thought she was a goner and then the bathroom door burst open and Michael reached into the tub and pulled her out. She heaved for air and coughed up the water in her lungs. Alice clung onto him; he had no idea how thankful she was for his perfect timing.
"What the hell happened, Alice?"
She couldn't tell him the truth; it would've broken him. "I closed my eyes for a second and I must've fell asleep."
He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her tightly, staring down at her, the concern he was feeling was as clear as day. "Are you sure you're okay?"
She nodded and kept a hold of the towel. "Now that you're here, I'm fine."
"My mum is downstairs with a clean dress. Dry yourself off and I'll bring it up to you." His shoulder felt like it was on fire, but he wasn't going to let her see; he knew that the pain in her head was probably worse. He remembered what his head was like after his first kill. Alice needed to focus on herself for a change.
Once she was dressed, Alice stood at the top of the stairs, listening to the whispers coming from the living room. She couldn't make out what was being said but she could tell that Michael was upset. She tried to stay as quiet as possible as she tiptoed down the stairs and saw through the doorway that Michael had his head on his mother's shoulder. Alice had never saw Michael interact with Pol like this, they hugged but not often, but he was being comforted by her. She didn't mean to do this to him, and that guilty feeling came back and lay in her gut.
"Alice," as soon as Pol said her name, Michael stood up straight and kept his back to her, "does the dress suit?"
"The dress is lovely Pol, thank you." Alice kept her eyes fixed on Michael's back. "What were the two of you talking about?"
"We weren't talking about anything, were we?" Pol glanced over at Michael, but he still didn't turn around.
"Go back to the Garrison, Alice and I need to talk for a moment." He replied.
Alice looked between the two of them and watched Pol nod to herself. She stepped towards Alice and held her hand out to her, when she took it, Pol squeezed it and gave her a slight smile. "Everything's going to be okay."
Alice furrowed her brows and watched Michael as he walked towards the kitchen. When Pol was gone, she followed him slowly into the room. He was sat at the table, his eyes red raw and glistening from the moisture his tears left behind. She sat in front of him, but she didn't know where to look. The tension in the room was sharp and she could tell that he was thinking about what he was about to say extremely hard.
"I've noticed for a while that you haven't been yourself, probably since New York, perhaps even before then. I feel like I have encouraged whatever's going on with you so that I feel comfortable with you being in my world." He couldn't bring himself to look at her, it was the most emotional he had been in a long time. "Since I've came back into your life, we've had our peaks, we've became a family, we rekindled and you gave me Johnny and Rose but you have had your pits with your mother, Danny and your sister and I didn't realise until I saw you struggling in that bath that there is something more than just you adapting to this lifestyle, going on."
Alice should've known that Michael was too smart, even when he had been drinking, to believe her excuse. He knew her too well. She felt like she had been caught out and she didn't know what to say. She knew she had to be truthful, but she didn't know how to say it.
"None of this is your fault, you and our children are the only things that made me fight to get my head out of the water." She reached over and held his hand in hers and waited for him to make eye contact. "Yes, I haven't felt like myself in a long time, but I've tried to hide it from you because I don't want you thinking any less of me as a wife or a mother."
"I would never think any less of you, even now I don't think any less of you. If you're struggling, I want you to tell me so that I can help you get through it. Staying silent isn't going to do any of us any favours."
"Since my mother died, it's like this dark cloud has been hanging over me, I have moments where the sun is shining and I feel like myself but as quickly as those moments come, they go. I never really got the chance to mourn her the way I should've, Danny didn't give me the chance and then I got pregnant and then we had to deal with the IRA. I haven't had a minute to get over her death." She bit her lip and glanced down at the table. "And then what happened today was just the straw that broke my back. It wasn't the act that set me off but the aftermath. Theresa was there, she saw what I did, and I can picture exactly how she was feeling because that was almost me. Except I was the lucky one because I didn't lose my husband. My children didn't lose their father. Now I'm the monster, not Danny." She let out a deep breath and buried her head into her hands. "I thought if I killed him that I would feel better and I did until I saw her face."
"Why would you try to keep all of this inside you? We're supposed to be a team, Alice, you can tell me anything without judgement. You're not a monster, trust me, I've seen people take a life and not even flinch. I've taken lives and haven't thought twice about it whereas you are beating yourself up over it and maybe regretting it. That's how I know that you are nothing like me or like my cousins."
"If Theresa hadn't had witnessed Danny's death and hadn't have put me in my place, I wouldn't have felt guilt or dread. That's what scares me."
"And do you really think that Theresa was oblivious to everything that Danny was doing? She was willing for our family to be torn apart, so stop feeling sorry for her. I think the best thing for us to do is get away from all of this and go back to New York; when we get there, we can focus on getting you back to your normal self. Get rid of those dark clouds that are around you and take the time to mourn your mother."
Her eyes lit up a little as she gazed back at him. "Are you sure that you want to go back to New York? I know how much you love it here."
"I love you more and you are my top priority, not Tommy or the Shelby Company, but you." He could feel himself getting choked up again, but he had to keep himself together for her. "I promised you a quiet life and we'll never get that in Birmingham."
Alice felt comforted by the thought of leaving this city and she couldn't disagree with Michael, Birmingham brought her nothing but sorrow. "Thank you, Michael."
"You shouldn't thank me for putting you first." He got out of the chair and motioned for her to come to him. When she was in his arms, he held her tight and didn't want to let go. He kissed her gently on the top of her head as he stroked her damp hair. "Just speak to me when you feel like this, that's all I ask."
"I will, I promise. Do you want to go back to the Garrison? I could do with a stiff drink."
"Just one and then we'll go home."
A:N It took a little longer to get this chapter out than what I would've hoped. I had half a chapter written and it didn't seem good enough so I restarted so I apologise for the wait, but I'd rather something that I was completely happy with went out instead of something that you wouldn't enjoy reading. I promise Alice will get peace, eventually but it won't be easy because nothing is ever easy for the Shelby family. Thank you so much for reading, hope you enjoyed!