8/24/20

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The Manipulation Games 3: Rebellion

Chapter Seventeen: Moving Day and Moving Forward

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"This has to stop. Us living in the hospital. Everyone views us as patients."

Katniss stares as I enter our hospital room. I've been doing some thinking since the incident at lunch. Not that my plans have ever caused more good than harm, but still. I have to stop feeling so vulnerable, otherwise things will never change. And if things don't change, a bunch of teenagers are going to beat me to Snow's demise, and nothing would anger me more than a bunch of brats who aren't even as emotionally invested in this war being the ones to finally make our beloved tyrant kick the bucket.

Dr. Aurelius glances up from his clipboard. He pushes up his glasses with his index finger and sighs deeply.

"With all due respect, Miss Mason, you are in fact a patient. And after your little outburst last night, I highly doubt you have recovered enough to be trusted on your own."

Ah. That.

To be fair, I didn't realize that Doc and Drunky were in here when I made that announcement. I'm not naive enough to think they would immediately release us if we bat our eyelashes and ask nicely. Granted, that kind of thing would probably work for Finnick or Annie if they ever ended up in a situation like this, but unfortunately Everdeen and I have the collective charm of a moldy tree stump. No, I knew we would need a few days of being on our best behavior before they would deem us fit for release. Unfortunately, Doc seems set on having this conversation here and now, so the esteemed Odair method may be our only option.

"What about me?" Katniss asks.

What about her? She just got out of surgery yesterday, for Pete's sake! I may be a mentally unstable morphling addict, but at least I'm not recovering from a freaking medical procedure. There's no way Dr. Aurelius would consider-

"I suppose that could work."

I stand corrected.

I clear my throat and try to control my tone so I don't sound like a raging lunatic. "I'm sorry, what?"

(To my credit, I could've sounded a lot angrier. I'm being pretty mature about this, really. My parents would be proud, if somewhat concerned about the whereabouts of the real Johanna.)

Dr. Aurelius gives me a somewhat judgmental stare, as he doesn't share my newfound appreciation for civility that will surely go away once this conversation is over.

"Although Miss Everdeen is still recovering from her surgery, after her release she will be moving into a family compartment with her mother and sister, both of which have spent substantial amounts of time volunteering in our hospital. Even if they hadn't, she would still have the necessary supervision to ensure proper recovery, rather than being left completely on her own."

A lump catches in my throat. I understand the implications of his statement.

Haymitch groans, leaning forward in his chair.

"Look Doc, can't you see what living here is doing to her?"

Dr. Aurelius glares at him. "What I can see is that the patient has developed a serious problem-"

"A problem she wouldn't have got the change to develop if you would've let her out earlier," Haymitch fires back, taking a sip of his water. It's odd, seeing him sober. Odder yet that he's taking my side.

I quickly jump to my own defense, as it's clear that arguing with the doctor is only making things worse.

"I'll behave, I swear. Look, I'll even come in for daily talks with you and your silly little therapists if that's what it takes!"

Dr. Aurelius raises an eyebrow. "As unresponsive as you've been to therapy, I highly doubt that. Even so, we simply can't leave you alone."

Katniss steps forward, as dramatic as the day she volunteered for her sister. "She won't be alone. I'm going to room with her!"

Aurelius and Haymitch gape at her, and I feel my own jaw drop as well. Did… did that really just happen? What the actual… I mean, I knew she was self sacrificing and all that noble crap, but why would she move away from her family just so I could leave this heck hole? Is she really that brainless?

Dr. Aurelius is quick to argue. "Now Miss Everdeen, you do realize that-"

Haymitch cuts him off mid sentence.

"Look Doc, do you really want to deal with these absolute rays of sunshine any longer than you have to?"

Katniss takes a spare moment to glare in her mentor's direction before adding, "There's an empty compartment across the hallway from my mother and Prim. They would be close enough to keep an eye on us."

Dr. Aurelius sighs and massages his temples. He glances up at me when he's finished, and I must look especially broken and pathetic because he finally relents.

"And you're sure you'll visit the hospital for daily check-ins?"

I nod weakly. "Cross my heart."

He leaves the room for a moment, returning shortly with discharge papers for each of us. He hands me the clipboard with some reluctance, and I snatch it from his hands readily.

As we leave the hospital later that evening, I can't help but feel pretty smug about the whole ordeal. I know that technically I should still be there. I mean, if Dr. Aurelius was half as responsible as the apothecary directors in Seven, I would've been there for at least another week. But clearly, we're not in Seven any more.

Being surrounded by so much gray makes me realize how homesick I am. How I long to see the vivid greens of the forest, how much I miss the scent of pine. I try to push the thoughts of home away to make room for something more useful, like the driving force of revenge, but no matter how hard I try District 7 remains at the front of my mind.

When we're moved into our compartment, Katniss offers to let me have the shower first. I still can't bring myself to stand in the water, so I do my best to clean myself up with a wet cloth before handing bathroom privileges over to my new roommate. As Katniss showers, I occupy myself by giving the place a quick once over. It's nothing like I'm used to, smaller even than my bedroom in the cabin where I grew up. Furniture is dull and monochrome with no personal touches. Over all, it feels more like a prison cell than the freedom I was expecting.

"This place sure is dull, huh?" I scoff as Katniss exits the bathroom.

I turn my attention to the dresser by the beds, opening the top drawer for inspection. A few sets of gray uniforms in my size is the only sight that greets me. Lame.

"My family's compartment is the same," Katniss admits.

I feel a small tinge of jealousy at how casually she can mention her family, but I shove it to the side and open the next drawer. Immediately, I see a gold locket that surely couldn't belong to me. I slam the drawer shut quickly.

"Sorry."

Katniss shrugs, sitting at the foot of her bed. "It's okay, you can look at my stuff if you want."

It feels wrong, but for lack of anything better to do I open up the drawer anyways. I pick the locket up gently, as though it may break, and open it up to reveal three pictures. Primrose, Gale, and Everdeen's mother stare back at me from their places in the locket's frame. I think back to Ava and the locket I gave her so long ago, before Nero took her from us. I think of Ava now, laying comatose in a hospital room covered in tubes and wires all because of me. I swallow the lump in my throat and move on. A silver parachute from the arena catches my eye, and I open it to reveal the spile.

"Makes you thirsty just looking at it," I quip awkwardly.

I slip the spile onto my pinkie finger like a ring, looking for any reaction from Katniss. Katniss's lips twitch into a small, amused smirk, which I take as an indication that I haven't crossed any lines thus far. I collect my nerves and place the spile into the parachute. As I'm placing it back in the drawer, a tiny pearl catches my eye. Closer inspection brings back memories of the one Peeta gave Katniss on the beach.

"Is this?"

"Yeah," Katniss says, looking at the pearl wistfully. "Made it through, somehow."

Comforting people has never been my strong suit, but I'm honestly at a loss as to how the actual heck I can backpedal my way out of this conversation without trying. I rack my brain for something to say, eventually answering with a lame, "Haymitch says he's getting better."

It's true. When he's in the room, Peeta is really the only common ground that he and I can talk about. As much as he butted heads with Cashmere when she was still alive, I fear the day she becomes the topic of our conversations. So instead I do my best to ask about Lover Boy and focus on his recovery so we don't have to talk about Cashmere and how dead she is now.

"Maybe, but he's changed."

I feel a twinge of annoyance at her tone.

"So have you. So have I. And Finnick, and Haymitch, and Beetee. Don't get me started on Annie Cresta-" Odair. Oops. "The arena messed us all up pretty good, don't you think? Or do you still feel like the girl who volunteered for your sister?"

"No," Katniss admits.

I sigh, running my hand along the peach fuzz growing where my hair used to be.

"That's one thing I think my head doctor might be right about. There's no going back, so we may as well get on with things."

I put Katniss's things back in her drawer and climb into the bed that Katniss didn't claim for herself. Move forward. It's all I can do. Thinking about Ava won't bring her back from her coma. Thinking about Cashmere won't undo the moment the ax slipped from my hand. Thinking about my family won't bring them back from the dead. But thinking about Snow can bring me one step closer to bringing him to justice.

Move forward.

The light turns out, leaving us in the dark to be alone with our thoughts. Maybe I'll sleep better now that I'm out of the hospital, or maybe I won't. Who knows, honestly?

"You're not afraid I'll kill you tonight?" I tease, turning over on my side and tucking an arm under my pillow.

"Like I couldn't take you," Katniss fires back.

I laugh, and she soon joins in. It feels weird laughing together like this when previously we wanted nothing more than to rip each other's throats out. It almost reminds me of the childhood sleepovers I had with Maple, the ones where we would stay up until dawn giggling at the expense of strict teachers and schoolyard bullies. I smile, the memories fresh on my mind, and make an attempt to get some sleep.

Maybe having such a brainless moron for a roommate won't be so bad after all.

…..

I always thought it was weird how easily the doctors in 13 let an addict going through serious withdrawal symptoms leave the hospital.

Anyways, this took a bit longer than I anticipated, but I still think I did pretty good considering my previous track record for updates. I'm back at college so I'm not sure how long this will last, but I'm hoping to be better at managing my time this semester. I'm already off to a pretty good start, so fingers crossed.

Quote of the day!

"Raids are supposed to be fun! They're like field trips with guns!" -Mike Lowrey, Bad Boys For Life

May the odds be ever in your favor,

Spectrobes Princess