At least they're getting longer, right? This one is broken up, but I wasn't really sure how to bridge it. Hope you enjoy it regardless.
Luffy was lonely. And bored. But mostly lonely, because Ace had sailed off a week ago and even though Luffy knew Ace was having awesome new adventures and making great new friends, Luffy was still on Dawn Island. And he missed his big brother.
He'd tried seeing if any of the kids in town wanted to play with him (now that they were older, maybe they could have fun together?) but they started screaming about how he'd made the windmill collapse on them and almost killed them (which really wasn't that big a deal and had happened years ago), and that time the Lord of the Coast tried to eat them (he hadn't, so what was the problem?) so he'd gone back to the forest sulking. The kids around here only wanted to be safe and couldn't appreciate an adventure at all and the bandits were never any fun.
Luffy ran through the forest, looking for the few animals left who could give him a decent fight. He'd gotten a lot stronger over the years and most of the animals knew to give him space. The Tiger Lord had been acting weird lately, but he was still tough to beat, so Luffy decided to go looking for him. Training would help him keep his mind off things he couldn't change anyway.
When he got to the clearing, he saw a head sticking out of the Tiger Lord's butt. "You're having a baby?!" Luffy yelped, kind of fuzzy on the particulars of that despite living in a forest for years. "What do I do?! What do I do?! What do I do?!" He panicked, running around the clearing, flailing his arms. His stomach grumbled, distracting him. "Food!" He shouted, figuring it out. "Everyone needs meat!" Happy to have an objective, the rubber boy bounced off in search of prey.
It didn't take him long to return dragging an alligator. The Tiger Lord was licking a Tiger Lord cub - who still dwarfed Luffy - and watching as he approached. "I brought meat!" Luffy announced proudly, pleased when the Tiger Lord pulled the meat in, accepting the gift. Until Luffy realized that the Tiger Lord intended to eat it all instead of sharing with the baby. "You're supposed to share!" Luffy shouted, punching the Tiger Lord in the nose and getting snapped at in return. Just then, the cub nosed the Tiger Lord's stomach and opened it's jaws. "Wait!" Luffy shouted, alarmed, pulling the baby away. "I know the Tiger Lord was being really mean and not sharing the meat with you, but I'll go get more! Don't attack your mom, ok? Ace won't like you if you do!" He now had both of them staring at him, but he needed to go get another alligator for the baby to eat before it attacked its' mother.
When the Tiger Lord swiped the second alligator Luffy brought, he got truly angry. "What kind of Mom are you?!" He shouted, only then noticing that the cub appeared to be gnawing on it's mother's stomach. "Stop, stop, stop! I know you're hungry, but you can't eat your mom!" He pushed the baby away earning growls from the baby and Tiger Lord. "I'm getting you more food, ok?"
Luffy was tired. Every time he came back, the Tiger Lord stole the food and the baby was chewing on its' mom. "Makino," he whined into the bar, totally wiped. "Food."
"Of course, Luffy," she agreed with a smile. "You seem pretty tired. Did you have a fun adventure today?" Luffy groaned and began telling her about it until he was interrupted by her giggles. "I'm sorry, I just - you know that only girls can have babies, right?"
"Really?" He asked, titling his head sideways.
"Oh, God, I told Ace to tell you before he left, but…" she seemed to be having trouble getting the words out past her laughter. "It looks like I'll have to have the Talk with you."
"The Talk?" Luffy asked, even more confused. "We're already talking, Makino."
"I meant about sex," she told him, finally calming down.
"Oh, Ace told me about that!" Luffy assured her. "He said that if any strange people try to have sex with me, I should beat the crap out of them." Which, strangely enough, started Makino on a whole new round of giggles.
"Do you know what sex is?" She finally asked.
"Nope," Luffy told her, picking his nose. "Ace said I wouldn't like it, so I didn't need to know."
"Oh, Ace," Makino murmured, softening. "Luffy, it's up to you if you like it or not, it's not something someone else can decide for you." And so Luffy got 'The Talk'.