"Oh my god," Donna remarked to herself in panicked disbelief. He was the last person she'd expected to see at family dinner. Once she began to regain her bearings she turned and retreated to the kitchen, her mind spinning.
Josh remained glued to his spot in the dining room. Of all the things he'd imagined when he decided to visit Sam, seeing Donna as not even on the list.
"I'll go," Sam stated softly, placing his napkin on the table and standing to follow Donna. Sam's movement jolted Josh out of his fog.
"No!" Josh snapped, shooting Sam a look that he dared not challenge. Josh sprang into action and was right behind Donna, stopping short at the end of the counter. Now that he knew she was here, he needed to see her. To spend even just a few minutes in her presence.
But Donna kept her back turned to him as she made herself busy in the kitchen, nervously moving the dishes around in the cabinets on the pretense that she needed a glass. She knew he was behind her, watching her every move. She'd been beyond startled by his presence and she didn't think she was ready to face him.
She heard his footsteps stop, and she knew he was likely fidgeting behind her.
She stilled her actions, placing her hands down and leaning on the counter, her head hung.
"What are you doing here?" His voice was nothing if not unsure of himself. And a part of her couldn't help but respond to him.
She sighed. She couldn't avoid this and she knew it. But more than that, she didn't want to avoid him.
"What do you mean what am I doing here? I live here, Josh."
"You… live here?" His voice went up an octave.
She turned her head to glance at him, her heart skipping a small beat at the confirmation that he was there, in the flesh. She wasn't sure she hadn't dreamed it when she'd lay eyes on him in the dining room.
"You're telling me you really didn't know?" There was an edge to her voice he'd rarely heard before.
"No," he admitted earnestly, shoving his hands into his pockets. He'd kept tabs on her through Sam, who assured him countless times that she was okay, but provided no additional details on her life. If he would have been able to focus on anything but Donna, Josh would have been enraged at that realization. He'd ached for her and she'd been right there, with Sam and CJ, this whole time.
She swallowed hard, staring at the floor. It seemed as though he cared even less than she'd initially thought he did. "You know what? I'm just going to go call it a night," she announced, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear. She took a step and wobbled a bit.
"Whoa," he moved forward, extending his arm towards her should she need it, but not daring to touch her. "Are you alright?"
"Fine," she muttered, still not looking at him. "I just twisted my ankle a bit at the airport."
"You should sit down," he stated as if it wasn't obvious.
She held back her sarcastic comment. "Can you just get CJ?" she asked him. Donna just wanted to take an advil and get her bearings about her again. She knew CJ would give her the answers to all of the questions she wanted to ask at that moment.
"CJ!" Josh yelled out.
Donna rolled her eyes. "I could have done that."
CJ appeared in the kitchen momentarily, giving Donna a look that asked about a hundred questions at once when she knew Josh couldn't see her.
"I twisted my ankle," Donna began again, ignoring the obvious situation. She'd get into it with CJ later.
"You twisted your ankle?" Sam repeated from the doorway where he stood with Danny. "How?"
"At the airport," Donna sighed, repeating the announcement for the third time. "I just stepped funny," she stated. "It's really nothing."
"You should sit down," Sam stated.
"That's what I told her," Josh threw in eagerly.
"What are we going to do with you, Dolly?" Danny walked over and picked her up, startling Donna a bit as he carried her to the couch.
A smile tugged at the corner of Donna's mouth. "May I suggest a palanquin?"
Danny laughed outright as he deposited her on the couch. "You may not."
Josh stood in the corner, feeling out of place and unsure of himself. He watched his closest friends fall into a comfortable rhythm around him, talking and moving in sync with one another.
He felt like a complete outsider, as though he was simply observing people he once knew. He realized for the first time that life had gone on without him. He stood quiet amid the conversation, glancing around the room and taking in the pieces of their everyday lives. Lives he knew nothing about. There were photos on the walls and papers on the refrigerator. The mantle held a gaudy karaoke trophy adorned with four fake leis. He continued to hang back and listen, but mostly, he watched her. He let himself, if for a only fleeting moment, remember how much he missed her.
"Danny! Heads up," Sam called from the kitchen as he tossed and ice pack over the counter and moved to open a kitchen drawer, pulling out a bottle of Advil.
CJ grabbed a glass and filled it with ice and water while asking Donna what had happened after they dropped her off at the airport.
Donna gave her friends an overview of her afternoon. Josh remained quiet through her narrative, but he couldn't help but to internally cringe at the thought of her heading to Cabo with a group of people who didn't even care enough to make sure she made it on the airplane. Though he didn't dare say it, he was relieved she was safe and secure on CJ's couch. And he was glad their paths had crossed once again, even if she didn't appear to feel the same way.
"I'm sorry, Donna," Sam told her, genuinely disappointed to hear that she'd had such a rough afternoon.
"Me too," Danny added. "We should have stayed to make sure you got on the airplane."
"It's really fine, guys," Donna waived them off. "You didn't know. And I promise I'm perfectly capable of taking a cab."
"Well, we're glad you're home," CJ told her, opening the fridge again. "I picked up a pie from that place on Melrose. Want a slice?"
"Of course," Donna smiled.
Sam's cell phone rang and he excused himself to take the call. Danny popped into the master bathroom to grab an Ace bandage for Donna.
Josh remained where he was, staring out the french doors into the darkness and still not speaking a word.
"Could you hand me that throw?" She asked. "This ice pack is making me cold."
"Me?" Josh was almost taken aback that she was acknowledging him.
She laughed softly. "Yes, you. Who else do you think I'm talking to?"
He picked up the small blanket on the back of the chair and unfolded it, placing it gently over her legs. He wanted to sit with her. To touch her and take her in and make sure that she was real. He wanted to ask her a hundred questions about her life now, and to bury his face in her hair. He wondered if it still smelled faintly of cherry blossoms and almonds.
"Is this alright?" He asked timidly, meaning his proximity as much as the way he'd placed the blanket over her.
"It's great, thank you," She fidgeted with her hands, unsure of where to begin. One of them needed to say something, and she had a feeling it wasn't going to be him. "So..." she began. "Here you are."
"Here you are," he parroted her intent. He still couldn't believe any of this. It was as though he was inside of the dream he'd had so many times. Dreams he had of her. Of them. He just prayed he wouldn't wake up on the couch in his office.
"You came out to see Sam, I take it," she asked with some vulnerability in her voice.
He nodded his head in confirmation, shifting his weight nervously as he stood next to the couch. "It was last minute. I just hopped on a plane this morning."
"Ah." That did explain why no one had given her a heads up regarding his visit.
"I can go," he told her. "I should go." he began to look around nervously. "And I'll fly back to DC tomorrow. I didn't mean to intrude on-"
"No," she was resolute in her answer. "Josh, please, don't leave because of me."
"I- I thought you wanted your privacy," he stammered. "I thought you didn't want to see me ever again."
Her eyes whipped up towards him at the sound of his stutter. She narrowed her gaze and focused on him. It struck her immediately. He was a shell of the man she once knew. He may be known as one of the biggest power brokers in the world, but inside he was simply was hard to comprehend.
"Please... I want you to stay." It was all she could muster, but as soon as his gaze met hers, he knew she was genuine.
"Okay," Sam popped back in, stopping their conversation short. "Sorry about that," he apologized for his phone call. "But my schedule is officially clear through the weekend," he announced with a smile.
"Well that's fantastic," Donna smiled brightly. "I was all ready for spring break, and I can just tell that Josh is itching for an adventure," she teased. "So let's plan something fun."
"OOOH!" CJ interjected excitedly as she brought Donna her piece of pie. "A staycation!"
"Oh God," the men groaned at the cliche. CJ shot them a look that quickly shut all 3 of them up.
Donna laughed and grabbed the laptop from the coffee table with a mischievous grin on her face. "Josh came all the way to LA, I bet he'd love to take a Celebrity Tour! See where all the rich and famous live. Oh, and shop on Rodeo Drive?"
Donna laughed at the look of horror on his face. "Josh, I was kidding. We aren't going to drag you to Disneyland."
"I'll say," Danny chimed in. "I once saw you get motion sick after a student trip to see an IMAX movie. I'm not sitting next to you on Splash Mountain."
"Oh." Josh gave an unnatural smile, trying and failing to seem comfortable in his surroundings. Donna wondered if Josh could even think of the last time he'd laughed.
Sam snickered while Donna rolled her eyes at Danny and continued to speak with her original intent.
"We'll have a nice, quiet, relaxing weekend. I'm glad you came out here, Josh. We all are." She smiled gently at him, and Josh quickly found himself genuinely believing her. He marveled at the possibility that she would welcome him back into her life.
The rest of the group agreed quietly.
Half an hour later, Donna couldn't stop yawning.
"That's our cue," Sam stated, standing up. "Time to head back to my place."
"Goodnight, Dolly," Sam leaned in and kissed Donna on the cheek. "See you in the morning."
Josh felt his eyes bug out a little at first, but when Sam gave CJ the same treatment, he relaxed a bit. This California lifestyle was definitely not what he was used to.
Josh stood up reluctantly, giving them all a small nod of appreciation and a muttered goodbye. That evening, just spending time with his friends and seeing Donna, were the best moments that he'd had in years.