When Lita came home to her rundown townhouse, the TV was on, as usual. Her father was sitting in his leather recliner chair watching it, as usual. Ricardo Gris was an obese Hispanic man, his hair graying and thinning from old age. The gray stubble on his chin indicated that he hadn't shaved this morning. Lita's eyes strayed to the empty beer cans sitting below his hanging hand. He didn't hear her at first when she came in, for his dark eyes were glued to the flickering screen.

"Really, Papi?" Lita said, scooping up the cans. "I thought we agreed you were going to cut back on this. If not for me, at least for the mortgage."

Ricardo jumped in his seat, his head turning towards her. "Oh, mija. You're home early."

Lita rolled her eyes. They would save the drinking discussion for another time, then.

"I got fired," she said, flopping down onto the couch. "Again."

Her father blinked. "What happened?"

"What do you think?" She set down her backpack. "My boss found out about my record."

Ricardo sighed. "People can be so judgmental."

"I know, right?"

She groaned as she lay down, her eyes glancing at the TV. The news was airing. The screen showed an image of the Hat Island Museum, a large gaping hole in its outer wall.

"According to the security footage," said the female voiceover, "the famous Coolidge collection of Dogs Playing Poker, which was on loan to the Hat Island Museum, was stolen by none other than Black Hat's henchgirl, Dementia. Fortunately, it seems she only got away with half the collection. A small blessing, considering the damage that was done on her way out."

"Is it just me," Lita said, playing with her ponytail absentmindedly, "or are Black Hat's henchmen getting messier with their work?"

"I would've done a better job," Ricardo said. "You would've done a better job. At the very least we wouldn't have left such a mess behind."

Lita smirked. "I'm sure we would have, Papi. But those days are behind us now. Even if my bosses don't seem to think so."

Her father turned to look at her. "It's just as well, mija. You never seem happy working retail."

"It wasn't so bad. At least I was good at it."

"You were good at thieving too."

Closing her eyes, Lita let out a sigh. "Papi, we've talked about this."

"But now's as good a time as any, don't you think?" He gestured to the screen. "The police and heroes are too busy with Black Hat's exploits to be concerned with low-rank thieves like us."

"Low-rank?" She glanced at him. "Papi, you once stole a rare Fabergé egg right under a duchess' nose!"

"Ah, yes," Ricardo said, staring wistfully into nothingness. "To this day, they never solved that case. Black Hat had paid handsomely for that too." He sighed sadly. "But I haven't been in any condition to steal anything since…"

He didn't need to continue, for she knew the rest. They both glanced at the picture on the coffee table. In it was Ricardo, much younger and thinner; Lita when she was about eight, and a smiling blonde woman with blue eyes much like Lita's.

"Mom wouldn't want us stealing," Lita murmured.

"Sí," her father said with a slow nod. "Linda…she always said I could be better." He shook his head. "But she also wouldn't want us on the streets. We're already behind on our payments as it is."

Lita cocked her head. "I thought the mortgage wasn't due for another month."

He bit his lip. "I, erm…meant the phone and electric."

Her eyes flitted towards the beer cans. "You sure that's where all the money's going?"

"Lita!" Ricardo said, looking offended. "I may be a retired thief, but I certainly wouldn't rob from my own daughter!"

"Fine," Lita said, sitting up. "I'll start job-searching tomorrow."

She got up and headed for the stairs leading to her room.

"Don't forget your exercises!" her father called.

"That advice, I will take," she said.

While she wasn't thieving anymore, it still helped to keep in shape, just in case. It had certainly helped with the incident an hour earlier.

Once his daughter had disappeared upstairs, Ricardo let out an exasperated sigh as he glanced at the coffee table. He was relieved Lita hadn't chosen to peruse the pile of letters sitting there. Particularly, one blood-red envelope bearing the seal of a black top hat.

In the middle of Hat Island sat a massive, black mansion in the shape of a top hat. A crashed plane stuck out of its roof. This belonged to the island's owner and resident villain, Black Hat. Though retired, he still exercised his evildoings by selling dangerous products to other villains.

While he wasn't actively trying to take over the world—he had succeeded many times in the past—he still held power over Hat Island. No one could touch him. Not the police, not the federal agencies, not even the superheroes. Many had tried to bring him to justice, but all had failed. At some point, the police had stopped wasting their effort entirely and let him commit his crimes. Such was the reason Hat Island had a crime rate higher than any other city in the world.

If anyone were to pass by Black Hat Manor at this very moment, they would be able to tell that its owner was in an extremely bad mood. For the roof had blasted wide open.

Black Hat's shouting could be heard within a hundred-mile radius. "THIS IS THE LAST STRAW, DEMENTIA!"

The villain was in the den, and the cause of his anger was his mutant henchgirl, Dementia. He was towering over her, now twice her size, foaming at the mouth. Dementia looked up at him with her tongue sticking out of the side of her mouth, completely unfazed. His paper-bag-wearing scientist Dr. Flug, however, was cowering in the corner, holding up his tablet as a shield.

"NOT ONLY DID YOU FAIL TO GET THE ENTIRE COOLIDGE COLLECTION," Black Hat continued to shout in a thundering, demonic voice, "BUT YOU TRIGGERED THE ALARMS BY DESTROYING HALF THE MUSEUM AND GOT CAUGHT ON FILM SO NOW EVERYONE KNOWS WE'RE BEHIND THE HEIST!"

Dementia huffed. "Big deal! Not like the fuzz can touch us!"

"BUT NOW THEY CAN DEDUCE THAT WE MEAN TO SELL THE PAINTINGS TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER! WHICH MEANS THEY CAN INTERCEPT THEM FROM OUR CLIENTS! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THIS MEANS?!"

Dementia just tilted her head and pointed up at him. "You're cute when you're angry, darling!"

His roar echoed throughout the mansion as he picked up Dementia and tossed her so hard, she crashed through the wall.

"I'm okay!" she called from the other room.

Checking to see if his boss' tantrum was over, Flug peered nervously over his tablet. Sure enough, Black Hat had shrunk back down to his normal size. He was now straightening his tie and smoothing out the sleeves of his trench coat.

"Flug," Black Hat growled, rolling his one eye towards the scientist. "Remind me why you created her?"

Flug gulped. "Y-Y-You asked…f-f-for a d-d-destructive henchman s-s-strong enough t-t-to…infiltrate any fortress?"

"Destructive, yes. Strong, yes." He gestured furiously to the newly made hole in the wall. "I didn't ask for an obsessive fangirl who never pays attention to what she's doing!"

Exhausted from the tantrum, Black Hat slumped back into his red armchair over by the glowing green fireplace.

"Get 5.0.5. to clean that up," he said bluntly.

"Y-Y-Yes, sir!" Flug said with a salute.

He didn't hesitate to bolt out of the room. Heaving an exasperated sigh, Black Hat summoned his cane from his shadow and leaned his head onto it.

As a villain, he didn't mind a little chaos and destruction. As a businessman, he had to maintain control over his subordinates. Dementia was too much of a loose cannon. He'd have fired slash destroyed her ages ago, if she wasn't such a useful bodyguard and hit-girl. Though her carelessness—not to mention her disgusting obsession with him—was getting on his last nerve! He couldn't let her handle another heist. At least not alone.

He made a mental note to have Flug put out an ad tomorrow.

The next morning, Lita found her father asleep in his chair. As usual. With a small smile, she leaned down and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'll be back soon, Papi," she whispered before heading out the door.

The mall was the most likely place to find Help Wanted ads. After all, with so many random people disappearing in this town, jobs were always open. Problem was she'd already worked at about half these places. She was practically famous here. She couldn't go into a store without one of the sales associates recognizing her.

Honestly, she thought. It's not like I'd ever shoplifted while working for them.

In fact, she hadn't stolen anything in ten years. But did anyone believe her? Of course, not! As the old saying goes, a leopard cannot change her spots.

She was about to give up and grab some lunch at the food court when a voice called out, "Hey, Lita!"

She winced as she recognized the voice, but kept on walking.

"Lita! Wait up!"

She tried quickening her pace, but the person caught up to her. She cried out as her shoulder was grabbed and she was spun around. The person was a white man a year older than her. He had wispy brown hair, deep blue eyes and a youthful face. He smiled as he looked at her.

"Hey," he said. "How've ya been? You haven't been returning my calls."

With a scowl, Lita turned on her heel and attempted to walk away.

"Hey, hey," he said, grabbing her shoulder again. "What's the rush?"

"Not now, Paulo," she said, glaring hard at him. "I'm having a really bad day."

Paulo reached for her hand. "Maybe I can help with that."

She snatched her hand away before he could touch it. "We. Broke. Up. Paulo."

"Doesn't mean we can't still be friends. Look, the last time we talked wasn't pretty…"

She held up her hands dismissively. "I don't wanna talk about it."

Lita tried leaving again, but he grabbed her wrist.

"Look," he said slowly, "I know you and your dad are going through a rough patch right now. I wanna help. I can even help you get a job!"

She blinked at his words. "How'd you know I was looking for a job?"

He froze. "I, uh…assumed from how you were looking at all the stores and…"

With a gasp, Lita wrenched her wrist out of his hold. "Have you been stalking me?!"

"No! I just…heard from a friend that you—"

"Paolo!" she exclaimed, her nostrils flaring. "It's over, okay?! Leave me alone before I call security!"

She stomped away from him. Thankfully, he didn't follow this time.

Twenty minutes later, Lita was munching on a double cheeseburger at a lone table. Having no one to talk to, she glanced around at the other tables. They were filled with groups of friends, families, and couples of all sorts. They all had two things in common. They were happy.

And they weren't alone.

Keeping her burger in one hand, she checked her phone for messages. There was one text from her father: How's the job hunt going?

With a small smile, Lita texted back. Horrible. Eating lunch.

Dad: Should've brought it home. We'd eat together.

Lita: Running errands after. Need anything?

A minute passed before his next reply. Out of milk and shaving cream.

She raised an eyebrow. How can we be out of shaving cream? You never shave!

He sent a laughing emoji.

Lita: Ran into Paolo just now.

Dad: How's he doing?

Lita: Don't care.

Dad: He's such a nice boy. Why you stop dating?

Lita's fingers paused. No time for guys. Just you.

Dad: Stop worrying bout me all the time. You need to have fun.

Lita: When we have a million pesos THEN we can have fun.

Dad: Get home safe.

Lita: I will.

They closed off the conversation with a heart emoji each. Even though her father wasn't here, she felt much less alone now.

Black Hat was in his office, sifting through a large pile of yellow folders. They contained information on all the master thieves in his organization. As there were so many, Dr. Flug was there to help.

"If you don't mind me asking, sir," Flug said, setting one folder aside, "won't Dementia get…jealous when she finds out you're trying to replace her?"

"I'm not replacing her, Flug," Black Hat said, groaning as his eye moved over the contents of the file in his gloved hands. "Think of this as…backup. In the event of a smash-and-grab, she can handle the 'smash' while someone else handles the 'grab.' Especially when the 'smash' is unnecessary."

"So…you're looking for someone with more…stealth?"

"And discipline," Black Hat said, slamming the folder closed. "Someone who can keep that mutant lizard-woman under control!"

"Well, there are plenty of suitable candidates within our organization." Flug opened the next file. "How about…that Catwoman over in Gotham City?"

Black Hat huffed. "She won't do. She's too obsessed with her adversary to be trustworthy. Remember Rule 10V3: we can't involve," he gagged, "love."

"I suppose you're right," Flug said, setting the file aside. "We already have Dementia's little, err…crush to deal with." He picked up the next one. "What about Miss Sandiego?"

"Is she even a real villain anymore?" Black Hat asked, rolling his eye. "Rumor has it she's only stealing from other thieves nowadays."

Flug sighed. "All the good ones are going soft nowadays. Femme Fatale from Townsville?"

"She won't work for a man. And she only steals Susan B. Anthony coins." He looked over at the scientist. "Why are all these master thieves women?"

He shrugged. "Does it really matter, sir?"

Black Hat waved his hand dismissively. "I don't want to end up with another Dementia. That defeats the purpose of all this!"

"Well, sir," Flug said, folding his yellow-gloved hands together, "just because our newest employee might be a woman doesn't necessarily mean she'll, uh…" He glanced at his boss nervously. "Well, you know. I mean there's just as much of a chance of that happening if it were a man or a transgendered person or a non-binary—"

The slamming of Black Hat's fist on his desk, caused Flug to shut up. "I don't care what gender they are! So long as they can get past a blasted high-tech security system and come out with an extremely valuable item undetected and do it all without double-crossing me!"

With an exasperated sigh, he leaned back in his chair. "But look at all this! Obsessed with a hero, gone morally gray, stealing measly one-dollar coins no one even uses anymore!" He smacked the stack of files. "Useless! Utterly useless!"

Flug squeaked as she scrambled to stop the files from falling over. Last thing he needed was to have to organize them all over again. Sighing in relief, he grabbed the next file on top.

"Well, if you want a break from women, sir," Flug said, opening it up, "what about Ricardo Gris?" He skimmed the page. "Oh, he's the one who stole that Fabergé egg of yours!"

"Yes," Black Hat muttered, remembering his prized, green, jeweled egg that was sitting in his trophy room. "But as I recall, dear Ricardo's retired. And not in the way I am."

"Well, you might be able to convince him to steal again." The scientist took out a long, folded up sheet of paper. "What with all the money he owes us."

"Money?" Black Hat's head perked up. "What money?"

Flug squinted at the page. "Says here he took out a loan from you about…fifteen years ago?"

"Ah, yes. Now I remember." He grumbled. "Something about paying off medical bills."

He hadn't agreed to that loan out of concern for the thug's welfare, of course. He just loved using a poor soul's desperation to his advantage. Plus, it meant more money in the long-run.

"Oh," Flug said, cocking his head in interest. "According to this, he's long overdue on his payments. At least…three months' worth."

Black Hat scowled at him. "Then why," he said, getting up from his seat, "are you only telling me about this," Flug shook as his boss towered over him, "now?!"

"I-I-I…" The scientist gulped. "I mean it's s-s-such an old loan and, uh…" He stopped himself, knowing that wasn't the right thing to say. "Uh…d-d-don't you like l-l-leaving your v-v-victims in…d-d-dreaded suspense? M-Making your appearance all the more…t-t-terrifying?"

Black Hat thought about this and then returned to his seat. "That's true. After three months of expecting me to collect, he's probably wallowing in fearful anticipation right about now." He grinned maliciously, his minty-green fangs showing as he pressed his fingertips together. "It's been rather dull today. Perhaps now's as good a time as any to pay my dear old friend a visit."

The goggles over Flug's eyes gleamed at this prospect. "Shall I," he said, putting his hands together excitedly, "prepare the torture chamber, sir?"

"Now, now, Doctor," Black Hat said, standing up. "Let's see if he has the money first." He brushed the dust off his coat. "But…just in case…" He adjusted his collar. "Get 5.0.5. to tidy up in there."

Don't worry. More about Lita's past will be explained later.

If you couldn't tell, I really had Belle and Maurice's relationship in the latest "Beauty and the Beast" in mind, at least in their interactions. Though...obviously it's not a perfect relationship.

It's my theory that Dementia's a mutation of some sort, due to the blueprints of her in Flug's lab and the fact that she sleeps in a test tube. Whether she used to be 100% human before or not, who can really say? Like I don't know, Flug infused her with lizard DNA or something?