Blech! Exposition/transitional chapters are always a pain, but necessary. I promise things will move further along soon.
"These are the other guest rooms," Black Hat said, gesturing to the long series of doors. "We keep them locked when not in use."
"Yeah, Flug told me about those," Lita said.
He smirked. "Then you know not to poke your nose where it doesn't belong. And that," he said, pointing to a set of deep red double doors at the end of the hall, "is my bedchamber." His one eye glared sideways at her. "Which you are forbidden to enter," he said, his tone dripping with venom as he leaned towards her, "under any circumstances!"
Lita shrugged. "So long as you keep out of my room."
He stared at her, bewildered at how unfazed she was. I can't be losing my touch, can I? It did no good for one of his subordinates to be unafraid of him. Suppose she became too comfortable in her position? She might discover the means to escape. Or worse, overpower him! He had to keep a certain level of discomfort in her if he was going to maintain control.
Then he remembered what had uneased her last night, causing him to grin mischievously.
"Really, Miss Gris," he said, folding his hands behind his back. "You can dispel whatever fantasies you may have of me entering your bedchamber."
She stiffened, her cheeks turning red at his implication. "N-No! I wasn't—"
"Of course, such fantasies are inevitable." He adjusted his tie. "I do have that effect on women. However," he said, giving her a pat on the head, "I must insist that our relationship remain professional."
Her blush deepened, though she could clearly hear the mocking tone in his voice. "Cut it out! I know you're just messing with me!"
"Am I?" he said, cocking his head to the side.
Her gaze narrowed. "Yes."
Black Hat chuckled, enjoying her reaction. "Keep telling yourself that, darling."
As he walked ahead of her, Lita growled, "Creep."
"Flattery will get you nowhere," he called without looking back at her.
It was like that the entire tour. He'd tease her and she'd get all flustered. It wasn't true fear, but Black Hat would take what he could get. She knew he was only trying to make her uncomfortable, of course. That didn't make it any less annoying.
"I expect everyone to be awake by seven a.m. sharp," he said as he showed her the kitchen and dining room. "Breakfast starts promptly at eight, work begins at nine. Lunch hour is noon to one and dinner is at seven. We only use the dining room when we have guests. You may take your meals in the kitchen or in your room."
Once they were done with the ground floor, Black Hat led her back to the elevator. "Along with running my errands," he said as they stepped inside, "your other duties will include light housekeeping and the occasional meal preparation."
Lita looked at him uneasily as the doors closed. "Say what now?"
"In case you haven't noticed," he said, gesturing to the floors passing them by, "this mansion is incredibly immense. As fun as it would be to make that mistake of a bear clean everything, none of it would get done in time. So, you will share his list of daily chores. Flug has his own. And Dementia…" He groaned. "Dementia would just make an even bigger mess."
"Yeah, yeah, sure." The cleaning part didn't really bother her as she'd helped her father clean the house all the time. "What was that bit about meal preparation?"
"Everyone here cooks," Black Hat said. "It's more efficient that way. For instance, it was 5.0.5.'s turn to make breakfast this morning. Flug will make lunch, Dementia's in charge of dinner, I'll be making breakfast tomorrow, and then lunch is your job."
"Do I have to?"
His perpetual grin disappeared as he scowled at her. "Need I remind you of the terms of our contract? You are to obey my every order—"
"Without question, I know! But you see…I…I can't…"
He raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"
Embarrassed, she shoved her hands into her hoodie pockets. "I…can't cook."
This information surprised Black Hat. "What do you mean you can't cook? How do you eat?"
"Papi did all the cooking," Lita explained. "And there's such a thing as takeout and microwave dinners, you know."
He groaned. "Well, you'll have to learn. I won't need anything stolen all the time, so you'll have to pull your weight some other way in the meantime."
"Can't we just stick with the cleaning and leave it at that?"
His eye narrowed. Lita could tell he was starting to lose patience.
"Alright, fine, I'll cook," she said, tearing her gaze away from him. "Just don't blame me if you choke to death."
Black Hat's grin returned. "Oh, believe me, Miss Gris. I won't be the one choking."
"Right." She sighed. "You're immortal. Well then…don't blame me if Flug chokes to death."
He laughed at the image. "Not two days here, and you've already developed an appropriately morbid sense of humor."
"What makes you think I was joking?"
Directing his eye towards her, he said, "You're going to do well here."
They reached the top floor, which mostly contained what Black Hat called "storage space" and Flug's airplane/laboratory.
"You've already been here, of course," Black Hat said as the metal double doors whizzed open. "Occasionally, you will be assisting Flug."
"In what?" Lita asked, stepping in before the doors could snap closed. "Building the next Frankenstein's monster?"
"Did someone call me?" piped a voice.
Startled by the new voice, Lita shrieked and, seeing nobody else around, found herself clinging onto Black Hat's arm. He frowned at this action. I've been trying all day to get a scare out of her, and not only does Dementia end up scaring her, but she clings to me for safety?!
Dementia dropped from the ceiling, suspended upside-down with the help of her long green ponytail. Her face ended up an inch from Lita's. Her mismatched eyes stared into Lita's bright blue ones.
"Ooh-hoo-hoo!" Dementia exclaimed, grinning excitedly. "Did you bring me a new chew toy, my love?"
She swiped a hand at Lita, the one with the fingerless black glove. Lita jumped out of her reach and hid behind Black Hat. He growled, insulted that she found Dementia more frightening than him.
"Hey, wait a minute!"
Hearing sniffing sounds next to her ear, Lita squealed when she found Dementia suddenly behind her. Lita backed away just as Dementia caught one more whiff of her.
"This one's…" Dementia's green and brown eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Female."
There was something vicious and territorial in the look she was giving Lita.
"Uh…boss?" Lita said, looking to Black Hat, ironically, for assistance.
He stepped between the women, causing Dementia's eyes to turn into hearts as they gazed up at him excitedly.
"Dementia," Black Hat said, his tone filled with disdain as he addressed her, "Miss Adelita Gris is not a chew toy. She is my new errand girl."
The hearts in Dementia's eyes shattered as they peered over at the woman cowering behind her beloved. The territorial look Dementia's eyes had held earlier quickly returned as she let out an animalistic growl.
"You're…replacing me?!"
"Please," Black Hat said, rolling his eye. "As if I'd be idiotic enough to release you into the world unrestrained. Unless there was a particular target I had in mind, of course." He grinned as he reached behind and threw his arm around Lita's shoulder. "No. Miss Gris is merely an extra set of hands."
Lita cringed at the fact that he was touching her again. And, based on the death glare Dementia was giving her, Lita figured she didn't like it either.
"I already got a set of hands!" Dementia shouted, waving her hands in Lita's face. "And a set of feet too!"
She reached down and tugged her feet upward, causing her to land on her bottom. Lita then noticed the metal anklet above the lizard-woman's red-and-white tennis shoe.
"Hey!" Lita exclaimed, clutching her still aching shoulder. "How come she gets to wear a tracking anklet?!"
Ignoring her, Black Hat said, "Dementia, you will be handling the physical part of Miss Gris' training. Meaning, you'll be teaching her to fight and infiltrate."
Dementia blinked. "You mean…I get to…" Her eyes lit up. "Hit her as much as I want?!"
Lita was starting to have second thoughts about this arrangement.
"The idea," Black Hat said with an annoyed growl, "is that you'll be working with her. Not against her. Meaning," his grip on Lita tightened, "if I suddenly find her in more than one piece…"
Dementia grinned as he grabbed the front of her hoodie and brought her to his eyelevel.
"YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF IN A SIMILAR SITUATION!"
Because Lita was so close to him, covering her ears hadn't been enough to stop them from ringing. Dementia only gazed at Black Hat lovingly, her tongue sticking out.
"Do I make myself clear?" he said, giving her a shake.
Dementia nodded. "Whatever you say…my love!"
Rolling his eye, Black Hat dropped her to the floor.
"Now then," he said, leading Lita away from the crumpled pile of mush. "Flug will set you up with the orientation videos. Then I will send you your schedule. Has Flug showed you the company app yet?"
Lita shook her head. "He mentioned it, but…I haven't exactly had the time to check it out."
"Well then. Flug will just have to show you after you've watched the tapes. For now, any questions?"
"Just one." She glanced at the gloved hand on her shoulder. "Could you, um…let go of me, sir?"
"You certain you want that?" Black Hat smirked at her. "As I recall, not two minutes ago, you couldn't keep your hands off me."
Her cheeks took on that embarrassing color again. "D-Dementia just…surprised me. That's all."
"And yet…your first instinct was to cling to me."
From his tone, she couldn't tell if he was angry about this or…amused. Either way, it perturbed her.
"I take it there's no Human Resources office, huh?" she asked.
"Nope," Black Hat said simply.
"Thought so."
Since he didn't seem to be letting go anytime soon, Lita reached across her chest to shove his hand off her shoulder. Black Hat didn't say anything, only grinned.
She would fear him eventually. It was only a matter of time.
After Lita spent two hours watching the orientation videos in the living room, Flug came in with a clipboard.
"Well, any questions?" he asked brightly.
Only like a million, she thought as she sat up on the red couch.
"How come I've never heard of any of these villains?" Lita asked. "I mean where the hell is Rhyboflaven?"
"Oh," Flug said. "Many of our clients live and reign in other dimensions."
She blinked. "There are…other dimensions?"
"Oh, yes. We keep an interdimensional portal in the lab so we can visit our clients' dimensions and vice versa." He could see the curiosity in her gaze. "I wouldn't recommend using it without supervision though. You wouldn't want to accidentally end up in a land of carnivorous fruit."
Lita shivered at the image. Still, the information that there was a vast number of different dimensions out there was a lot to take in.
The orientation videos had been…interesting. Not so much the how-to-be-a-villain tips, but getting a glimpse into the lives of her new coworkers. The Q&A video had been especially informative.
Things she'd learned:
One, Flug was a lot more dangerous than he let on.
Two, Dementia was…pretty much as dangerous as she'd figured.
Three, 5.0.5. was a harmless little cinnamon roll and it was a shame he'd originally been created for evil.
Four, there was no doubt Black Hat was the biggest prick in the world.
Five, for some very bizarre reason, Dementia was madly in love with Black Hat. To each their own, she supposed.
Still, those videos hadn't told her that much about her new colleagues. There were still millions of questions swimming in her head. What had led them to evil? How did Flug and Dementia come to be with Black Hat?
Oh, and don't get her started on her questions about Black Hat! How old was he? What species was he? Had he always been a…whatever he was or had he been human once? Why was he evil? Not that she believed in evil, but if ever there was evil in its most extreme, Black Hat seemed to embody it. Had he been born that way or had something put him on that path? Was he…really as evil as he appeared? Or, like she had her own dark side, did he have a light side too?
"Miss Gris?"
Lita shook out of her thoughts as she turned to Flug. She knew he wouldn't be able to answer all her questions at once, so stuck with the most obvious one at that moment.
"Why do you wear that bag?"
Flug's goggled eyes narrowed at her. It was amazing how expressive he could be with his face covered.
"Any questions that are less," he said, gripping his pencil, "personal?"
I get the feeling he's sensitive about the bag, Lita concluded.
"Right." She thought for a moment. "Actually, I was a bit curious about one of the rules mentioned. The one about…not involving love?"
"Ah, yes," Flug said flatly. "Rule 10V3. As you saw in the demonstration of Mojo Jojo, love, especially in our line of work, is nothing but a distraction."
As he said this, his attention was on his clipboard, his pencil moving over the paper. But Lita didn't hear any sounds of writing.
"But that's just ridiculous," she said, moving her legs into a crisscross position. "I mean…no one can really control themselves when falling in love."
"Exactly." The tip of his pencil finally made contact with the board. "Which is why we as villains must distance ourselves from it entirely. After all, love is good, and we are evil."
Lita rolled her eyes. "People have done so-called 'evil' things in the name of love too. And not just romantic love. I mean…you care about 5.0.5., don't you?"
"That's different!" Flug snapped, scribbling furiously. "He's my creation, therefore my responsibility! I have to care for him!"
"But suppose…I don't know." She held one hand out to the side. "You meet someone who has the same interests as you," she said, holding out the other hand, "and actually doesn't mind the fact that…that you're not perfect."
Her voice became quiet as she became lost in her thoughts. "And…they wouldn't try to change you but…they do. For the better. Not necessarily make you 'good,' but…a better version of yourself." She choked up as her mother and father came to mind. "And even if you still mess up, they'll still—"
"They'll decide they're too good for you," Flug said, scribbling faster and harder with each word, "and try to get you on their side before stabbing you in the back and then you have to stab them right back even if you don't want to then you can't focus on your work because you CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER WHAT SHE'S DOING RIGHT—"
His pencil snapped in two. Flug stared down at the eraser-half in his hand and then at Lita, whose mouth was agape.
"I'll, um…" Flug cleared his throat. "I'll get you a new pencil so you can take your comprehension test."
He turned on his heel quickly and quietly headed towards the door.
"Wait, Flug!" Lita called, turning to peer over the head of the couch.
Without facing her, Flug stopped and said, frustratingly, "Yes?"
Lita bit her lip. "I…I swear I'm only going to ask you this once, but…did you…that is…have you…were you ever in love?"
Flug was silent for a long while. Lita just waited patiently, staring at his back.
"Once," he finally replied.
"Who was it?" she asked.
"Doesn't matter." Flug straightened himself up. "It was a long time ago. But, like I said. You can't involve love in this line of work," he said as he walked out. "It just gets in the way."
As she watched him go, Lita couldn't help but pity him. Whatever had happened to his significant other, she suspected that Black Hat had had something to do with it. Was that man so cruel that he couldn't allow his subordinates to be happy? Even if for a little while?
Well, whatever had happened—she had a feeling it would take a whole lot more to get Flug to open up about it—if that's how romantic love was treated in this place, Lita could only imagine the views on familial love. While Black Hat had sworn not to harm her father, he most likely wouldn't allow Lita visitation.
Unless I can get him to see that love and evil aren't as mutually exclusive as he thinks.
She snorted. "Yeah, right. If Flug couldn't buy that, I doubt he would."
When lunchtime came around, Lita soon learned that 5.0.5. wasn't the only excellent cook in the house.
"Man, Flug!" she cried, taking in a big forkful. "This goulash is amazing!"
"Thank you!" Flug said chipperly. "The secret is in the garlic powder!"
Everyone sat around the kitchen table. Well, everyone except Black Hat. According to Flug, the boss took his meals in his office. While the kitchen looked like any other kitchen, the people dining within it certainly made a peculiar picture.
Flug ate slowly, sticking his fork beneath his paper bag to reach his mouth. Lita kept trying to take peeks, but Flug must've had a lot of practice eating this way, for she couldn't even spot a chin. 5.0.5. wore a frilly pink bib. His portion of goulash had been cut into smaller pieces, most likely by Flug.
Dementia didn't use any utensils. Rather, she had planted her face within the bowl and was slurping the food up like a dog. All the while she kept her eyes fixed on Lita, who sat across from her. The look she gave was very unsettling.
Deciding she didn't want to keep staring at Dementia, Lita explained her cooking problem to Flug.
"Think you could give me some pointers?"
"Oh, sure," Flug said, waving his hand. "Cooking's easy once you get the hang of it. Just like chemistry!"
Lita frowned. "Dropped out of high school, remember?"
"Nonsense! 5.0.5. is not even half your age. If he can do it, so can you. Honestly, anyone can cook. Well," he glanced sideways at Dementia, "almost anyone."
Dementia stuck her tongue out at him.
"If you want," Flug whispered to Lita, "I can just order pizza for dinner."
"I heard that, nerd!" Dementia hollered, flinging her bowl at him.
Shrieking, Flug ducked before the bowl could hit him. It splattered against the wall.
"Dementia!" the scientist hollered as he stood back up. "How many times have I told you not to throw food at the table?!"
"I did not throw my food at the table!" Dementia said, putting her hands on her hips. "I threw it at the wall!" She pointed. "Big difference!" She huffed. "Not like that was any better than my cooking!"
"Last time you were in charge of the meal, you made toothpaste sandwiches!"
"And they were delicious!"
She crawled onto the table towards Flug. 5.0.5. had to lift his bowl up to prevent her from trampling over it.
"You're just saying that," she said, poking Flug in the chest, "because of your stupid sandwich phobia!"
Lita looked at Flug incredulously. "Sandwich phobia?"
"It's a justifiable phobia!" he shouted. "Statistics show that seven out of ten food-poisoning related deaths each year are caused by sandwiches!"
Lita had to cover her mouth to keep herself from laughing, as it would be rude to do so. Despite the fact that Flug had laughed at her phobia earlier today.
"This guy!" Dementia laughed, shoving him so hard that he toppled over onto the floor. "He's such a dork!" She stuck her face into Lita's, causing her to drop her fork. "You know he still sleeps with a teddy bear? And I ain't talking 'bout that teddy bear!"
She pointed at 5.0.5., who gave a "mrrph" in response.
"Nothing wrong with that," Lita said, trying to return to her lunch. "A lot of adults sleep with stuffed animals." She bit her lip. "And why wouldn't they? They're soft and plushy."
"Thank you!" Flug cried, hopping back onto his feet. "And at least I don't sleep with a creepy hand puppet of my boss!"
Dementia giggled. "That puppet's seen more action than you, Fluggie."
That caused Lita to choke on her food. 5.0.5. only tilted his head in confusion.
"That's it!" Flug cried, reaching into his lab coat.
He whipped out what looked like a laser gun.
"What the fuck?!" Lita cried, ducking under the table.
5.0.5. yelped as he joined her.
Dementia only grinned gleefully. "Oh-ho-ho! You wanna go, Fluggie?! Well, come on then!" Standing up on the table, she struck an alluring pose. "Hit me with your best shot!"
"Are all meals like this?" Lita whispered to the bear.
His response was a frantic nod.
"Oh, you bet I will!" Flug shouted, aiming his weapon at her.
Lita could sense war was about to break out between these two. Normally, she wouldn't get involved in a brawl like this, especially when a gun was involved. But if she didn't do something, she had a feeling Black Hat would. And while she hardly knew Dementia, she'd come to like Flug enough not to get him hurt. Even if he was in homicidal mode.
Then she remembered something.
"Uh, hey!" Lita cried, springing up from her hiding place.
The two rivals turned to look at her, surprised that anyone would intervene in their spat.
"Dementia!" she said, bringing out her cell. "The, err, app says I'm scheduled to workout with you after lunch! I-If you're done, why don't we go over to the gym and, uh…warm up?"
Dementia cocked her head at her, like a curious owl. Lita had her attention. She just had to land the sale.
"Remember," Lita said with an innocent smile. "You training me means you can hit me as much as you want."
The lizard-girl's mouth broke into a toothy grin. Lita only now noticed her vampire-like fangs.
"I love hitting people as much as I want!" Before anyone could say anything, Dementia leaped off the table, grabbed Lita by the wrist and dragged her out of the kitchen. "Finally, we're gonna get some girl-on-girl action here!"
"Wait, what?!" Lita screamed as she was pulled through the halls.
Dementia was extremely fast. They were in the gymnasium within seconds.
The gym was pretty standard. Hardwood floors, a mini-basketball court, a punching bag, some blue mats, a set of dumbbells and exercise machines. Hanging from the ceiling was a climbing rope and a pair of gymnastic rings. Only thing that really stood out was the large metal door at the far end of the room. Spray-painted on it was a skull-and-crossbones wearing a black hat.
Lita wasn't particularly eager to be exploring that room anytime soon.
"Alrighty!" Dementia exclaimed, finally coming to a halt.
Lita attempted to wrench her hand away, but the girl had a tight grip. She figured Dementia was a mutant of some sort, which would explain her mannerisms. What did they do? Give her the hands of a gorilla?!
"Now that the nerd's gone…"
Dementia darted her eyes at the other woman, holding their deadly expression from earlier. Lita yelped as she was suddenly pulled upward, their noses now touching.
"Let's get one thing straight here, biatch!" Dementia barked. "My love may have hired you to help me, but I'm the alpha female around here! Which means not only are you gonna stay outta my way, but you're gonna stay away from my love muffin," her grip on Lita's wrist tightened, "OR ELSE I'M GONNA GRIND YOUR BONES TO MAKE MY CROUTONS!"
Lita was at a loss for words. "Wait a minute. You think…me and…and Black Hat?!"
Despite the fact that she was caught in a death grip, she burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?!" Dementia demanded.
"You think…" Lita said between breaths. "You think…that he would…that I would…I wouldn't…I wouldn't if he was the last man on—"
She was cut off as Dementia twisted her arm around, threw her onto the floor, sat atop her back, used one arm to ensnare her head and the other to trap both hands behind her back. This, she did within a span of five seconds.
"How dare you insult my beloved?!" Dementia screeched into her ear. "You'd be lucky if he gave you the time of day!" She scoffed. "As if he would be interested in a puny thing like you! I mean look at you!" The scoff turned into a demented laugh. "I can't believe my love actually hired you to be my extra set of hands! As if I need help! Certainly not from you! You're so tiny! You won't last a week! I bet you can't even scale a wall or blow up an army base! Or pull spaghetti out of your nose! I bet you can't even…"
While Dementia prattled on, Lita was contemplating a way to get out of this hold. How was it this girl was even more terrifying than Black Hat? Maybe it was her territorial and animalistic behavior. Not to mention her immense strength.
In fact, she reminded her of a girl from juvie. Big Bertha was her name. She'd been the biggest, meanest, strongest girl in the cellblock. She would pound any kid who would dare cross her path. In her week there, Lita had tried her best to keep her distance. Until she had accidentally bumped into her in the prison cafeteria. Bertha had been prepared to serve her lunch…in her face. Lita had been forced to take action. Long story short, Bertha had left her alone the rest of her time there.
This experience was no different. Dementia was the alpha female, threatened by another female. She was exercising her power through physical strength and verbal threats. And she was going to keep doing that as long as she assumed her prey was a puny weakling.
But Lita was not a puny weakling. While Dementia overpowered her physically, Lita still had her brains.
"Oh, boss!" Lita exclaimed, looking towards the door. "I didn't hear you come in!"
Gasping excitedly, Dementia directed her lovesick eyes towards the door. "My love?!"
This distracted her enough to loosen her grip. Lita smirked.
In three swift moves, Dementia was the one on the floor and Lita was on top. She made sure to sit on Dementia's waist, making it harder for her to get up. Keeping one hand firmly on her opponent's back, Lita used the other to press Dementia's face into the floor. Her green eye looked up at the smaller woman in surprise.
"Look here, chica," Lita said, leaning her face closer to hers. "I'm not interested in the boss. You can have him. In fact, I don't wanna be he here as much as you don't want me here, but neither of us exactly have a choice in this arrangement!"
Dementia squeaked as Lita dug the heel of her hand into her spine.
"But," the smaller but older woman continued, "Black Hat wants us to work together. I can't break my contract and you can't disappoint your," she swallowed a bit of bile that had just formed in her throat, "beloved. So, I suggest you stop acting like a child and train me like the boss ordered, or else he is going to be very, very unhappy."
She hissed into Dementia's ear. "And so will I."
The lizard-woman stared up at her, stunned.
Then her lips curled into a smile.
Dementia bent her legs back, catching her opponent around the waist with her feet. Before Lita realized what was happening, she was thrown off Dementia. Thankfully, Lita landed on one of the mats. Still, the sudden impact made her ribcage sore.
How in the world did she get her legs to bend that way?!
A fingerless-gloved hand reached out to her. Lita looked up at Dementia to find that her expression was no longer spiteful, but…friendly?
"You've got some serious guts, kid," she said in an impressed tone. "I had ya all wrong."
Lita didn't feel like pointing out that she was twenty-five, and, from what she figured, older than Dementia. After staring at the pale-fingered hand for a while, Lita decided to stand up on her own.
"Smart too," Dementia said, pulling her hand away. "Not everyone can hold me down for that long." Her grin widened. "We're gonna get along just fine!"
She sprang at Lita, who was so sure she was going to attack her again. Instead, Dementia threw her arm around her in a half-embrace.
"Ooh, I've always wanted a gal pal!" she exclaimed, squeezing Lita tightly. "We can do each other's hair and makeup, give each other manicures, gossip about boys!" She narrowed her eyes. "Just remember, Black Hat is mine!"
"Noted," Lita said, forcing a grin.
Well, at least this is better than her trying to kill me.
Yeah, I think Dementia's going to be the hardest to write. Had to watch that love song of her several times to get into her character.
I think there's some deep-seeded reason why Flug thinks sandwiches are evil. This was my idea of how that "Statistically speaking, seven out of..." line finished, but I think it's just an excuse.
No way was I going to go into the orientation videos in detail as that would take too long. You can just watch them on YouTube (there are subtitled versions). I'm assuming Black Hat has a dimensional portal, unless ALL the Cartoon Network shows exist in the same dimension, which I doubt. Though that phone of his must have inter-dimensional coverage or something...
Did anyone else feel the Q&A video just created more questions than answered them?