Theme song for this chapter: "Paris Holds the Key to Your Heart"

"We're here."

Lita's eyes snapped open. About halfway through the flight, she'd decided to take a nap in the plane's bedroom. Sitting up from the bed, she found Black Hat standing right next to her.

"Already?" she said, rubbing her eyes. "Gee, I must've been more tired than I thought."

"At least you won't be complaining about sleep deprivation the rest of the day," he said, tossing her backpack onto the foot of her bed. "Now get up, lazybones. We have a tight schedule to keep."

She hastened to get out of bed and pick up her bag. "What time is it?"

"It's half past two," Black Hat said, magically transferring their suitcases into his hands as he walked towards the front of the plane.

She followed him. "In the afternoon?"

"Morning."

She stopped. "Wait, what?" Her brain wasn't fully awake yet to do the math. "But I thought the flight was eleven—"

"There's a nine-hour time difference between Hat Island and France," he said gruffly. "It's half past two in the morning here, while back home it's half past five in the evening."

"Oh." Her face reddened in embarrassment. "Right. I, uh, forgot. So, I guess it's Thursday now, huh?" She still couldn't believe it was so late at night already, when it had been early morning not too long ago. "So…what are we supposed to do until we have to meet with the client?"

"First of all, we'll have to call a cab to take us to the hotel."

"Do cabs even run this late?"

He stared at her as his hand moved to open the airlocked door. "I keep forgetting you've never travelled before."

It had been so long since Lita had ridden in a cab. Since her papi had to sell the car to pay the bills, Lita had mostly gotten around by walking. She'd taken the city bus in the rare event she had to travel far, as they were less costly than taxis. But she had ridden in a few when she was small.

The one Black Hat had hailed at the airport was black instead of yellow, which had surprised her. And the driver, an elderly white man in a cap, was a lot more smiley than she'd expected, as all the drivers she remembered from Hat Island had been rather cranky. As most strangers were on the island.

This driver also apparently didn't mind smoking in the cab with the window open. That trait was at least familiar.

"Maintenant, madame et monsieur," the driver called back to the two of them, taking a puff from his cigarette. "D'où venez-vous?"

Frowning, Lita opened her bag to pull out the English-French dictionary. Although she'd glanced through both dictionaries on the plane, she couldn't understand anything past "madame et monsieur."

Black Hat, who had put up his human disguise, replied for her, in a perfect French accent. "Je viens d'Angleterre, et ma femme est mexicaine américaine."

She at least understood half of that. The story that they'd come up with was that he was originally from England, and she was Mexican American. Saying they were from Hat Island would draw suspicion from those who knew where it was. It wasn't on any map, but Hat Island floated off the west coast of Mexico and wasn't too far from California, which was why a lot of the residents spoke Spanish and English. Lita herself was of Mexican and American descent, the first from her father and the latter from her mother. So to say she was Mexican American was technically true, even though she'd never set foot in either country. Even so, to avoid question, Black Hat had put her birthplace as Santa Ana, California in her passport, rather than Hatsville, Hat Island.

"Ah, you speak English then!" the driver said cheerfully, glancing at Lita through the rearview mirror. "You are not good at le français, madame?"

Lita sighed in relief. "No, sorry. I only know English and Spanish."

"Ah, c'est bien," he said, waving his hand. "We get many Americans here! They love our city! You are married, non? You come for romantic getaway!"

"Honeymoon," Black Hat said simply.

"Ah! Newlyweds!" The driver set his hand out the window to tap the ash from his cigarette. "Is no mystery you choose notre ville de l'amour!"

Knowing the meaning of the last word, as it was the same in Spanish, Lita blushed pink. "Err, yeah! L'amour! We are, uh, so," she said, taking her boss' hand, "in l'amour!"

Black Hat was a lot better at selling their con. Letting go of her hand, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. She tried not to shiver at his touch. It seemed his body temperature had not changed with his appearance. Why is he always so cold?

"Yes, we just got married a couple days ago," he said, smirking at how flustered she was getting.

"Ah! Félicitations à vous!" The driver said, not noticing Lita's discomfort. "Ma femme et moi, we been together thirty years! You plan to have the little ones?"

Lita sent her boss a sideways glance, as if to say, "I told you so."

"Sure," she said bluntly. "How many did you have in mind, dear?"

"Oh, I don't know," Black Hat said, his grin widening. "At least a dozen."

Lita squeaked while the driver laughed. He probably thought Black Hat was teasing, but Lita knew it was him getting back at her for all her teasing on the flight. How was she supposed to pretend to be married to this guy? All they did when they were together was tease each other!

Then again, wasn't that what married couples usually did? Tease each other without any malice? She remembered her parents used to banter all the time, particularly when it came to their differing tastes in music. Those discussions would lead to them saying some pretty nasty things, but they'd always end up laughing about it.

Perhaps she could go along with this charade.

"That's easy for you to say, cariño," Lita said, gently removing his hand from her shoulder. "You won't be birthing all those kids."

Black Hat nodded approvingly, as if to say, "Now you're getting into it!"

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of putting you through that much turmoil, mi amor."

She felt a tingle up her spine as he said that term of endearment and patted her on the head. The clear British accent didn't help.

"I was thinking we could adopt," he said.

Lita snorted, trying to imagine Black Hat adopting twelve children. It was unlikely.

"Why?" she said slyly. "So you can have an excuse not to take me to bed?"

Black Hat's smile dropped, causing the driver to laugh.

"Ah, le jeune amour!"

While her fake husband was trying to think of a comeback, Lita noticed that it was extremely bright outside. She thought it was odd, given that they had spent less than an hour waiting for passport check-in, and there was no way it should be light out yet.

"Hey, what's going on?" she asked, glancing out the window.

"How you mean, mademoiselle?" the driver asked.

"Why's it so bri—?"

She stopped herself. Black Hat watched her curiously as she rolled down the window and leaned out to get a better look.

It was three in the morning, and yet the city of Paris was bathed in golden light. All the buildings were lit up, lamps illuminating the streets like giant fireflies. On top of that, the road was packed with vehicles, their headlights adding to the city's brightness. She gasped as a motorcycle zoomed by. There were even groups of people on the sidewalk, having various conversations.

There was so much light. So much noise. So much life. And yet there wasn't a single police siren within hearing distance.

So much different from the quiet, empty, crime-ridden streets of Hatsville.

"What is it?" Black Hat asked.

"It's just…" She continued to glance up and down the street. "I…I've never seen so many people out so late at night!"

"You are from a small town then, non?" the driver asked.

"You could say that," she said quietly.

Black Hat looked out his own window, trying to see what all the fuss was about. But as he'd been to Paris several times over the millennia, he couldn't see anything to be excited about. It was just usual city life to him.

"Back in Hat…err, Santa Ana," Lita said, pulling her head in and leaning it against her fist as she continued to watch the city go by, "not a lot of people go out at night. The streets are, um…too dangerous."

"Ah," the driver said with a nod. "I cannot say there are no criminals here, but Paris is très sûr, very safe."

"Yes," Black Hat said with a grunt. "And très aburrido."

"Is that Spanish for 'exciting?'"

Lita bit her lip. "Err, yeah. Sure."

"We are here! L'Hôtel de Feu Lent!"

They pulled up in front of a hotel with five stars lit beneath its name.

"Whoa!" Lita said, sticking her head out the window. "You didn't say we were staying at a five-star hotel!"

"You think I'd have us stay in a rundown motel?" Black Hat said as he came around to open the door for her. "With the amount I make?"

"Your husband," the cab driver said he got their suitcases from the trunk, "he spoils you!"

"Nah, he's just a big spender," Lita said, strapping on her backpack. "A really big spender."

After receiving his pay from Black Hat, the driver tipped his hat and stepped back into his cab. "Bonne chance with the honeymoon!"

Lita smiled and waved as the old man drove away. Once he was far enough down the street, she punched her fake husband in the arm.

"A dozen kids?!" she shouted with a scowl.

"He had asked," Black Hat said, picking up their suitcases.

"Yeah, but…a dozen?! I swear, if you brought me along on this trip just to annoy the hell out of me, two can play at—"

"All part of the act, my dear," he said, calmly handing Lita her suitcase. "Don't take whatever I say to you in regards to our 'marriage' seriously."

Huffing, she took her suitcase. "You're lucky I liked the guy and didn't want him getting caught in the middle of our lovers' tiff!"

"Our first quarrel already," he said, wrapping his free arm around her as he walked her into the hotel. "You'd think we'd been married for much longer."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Why do I get the feeling you're enjoying this a little too much?"

"Because it's just so enjoyable watching you squirm in embarrassment," he said with a wink.

There were a few people on the sidewalk, turning to stare at the couple as they passed by. Lita knew why they were staring. It was Black Hat's out-of-place Victorian outfit. She must've looked so awkward next to him, wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans.

Seriously, how can anyone believe I'm married to this guy?!

Her annoyance with him didn't last long, as they had just entered the hotel lobby. It was so massive, the walls and floors made of pristine white marble. Honestly, she'd never seen a room so clean! Her eyes were still wandering around as Black Hat walked her to the front desk where a brunette woman was waiting with a smile.

Lita didn't understand one word of their conversation, as it was all in French. But she figured it was just Black Hat checking them into their room. Besides, she was too busy taking in everything to pay attention.

Once Black Hat had the keycards and gave the receptionist a polite "merci beaucoup," he led Lita over to an elevator that looked like it was made out of solid gold. She wondered why the elevator back at the mansion didn't look like this. She was surprised to find someone in a green bellhop's uniform inside the elevator.

"Quel étage, madame et monsieur?" he asked them.

"Dix-neuf, s'il-vous-plait," Black Hat said as they stepped inside.

The bellhop pressed the button for the nineteenth floor and the doors closed.

"Which room are we in?" Lita asked.

"1937," her fake husband responded.

"Ah!" the bellhop said. "La suite nuptiale!"

It sounded like he said "nuptial," which caused Lita to blush. Once they were on the nineteenth floor, she whispered to Black Hat.

"Doesn't anyone mind their own business in this city?"

"The French just want to keep their tourists coming in," he replied. "As a result, they act extra friendly."

Lita nodded. "Guess they are in customer service, after all."

When they reached their room, Black Hat slid the key into the slot. The first thing Lita noticed about the room was its size. In fact, it was more like an apartment! On top of there being a bed, there was a living area with white couches and a glass coffee table. She was about to gasp in excitement when she got a better look at the bed.

It was king-sized, with light pink covers and red heart-shaped pillows. Rose petals were sprinkled all over it. Two table sat on either side, one holding a bouquet of flowers, the other a bucket holding a bottle of champagne in ice, a tray of two champagne glasses beside it.

"That was agonizing!" Black Hat let out a sigh of relief as he reverted to his normal form.

"Um," Lita said, still staring at the bed in horror. "Is that the…only bed?"

"Oh, yes," he said, dropping his suitcase on the couch. "Make yourself at home."

A panicking thought crept into her brain as the demon began removing his coat. Her eyes flitted between him and the lovey-dovey bed.

Had her boss taken her to Paris for…something else?

"Err, uh, boss?" she said, backing towards the door. "I, uh…think you're an okay guy and all, but, uh…you should know that…I'm not the kind of girl who…" She reached for the door handle. "Not to insult your manhood, but…I don't think of you in that way and…if this was the only reason you brought me here, I, uh…I can't let you…"

Confused, Black Hat followed the direction of her fearful gaze, and understood.

"Oh, for goodness…" He facepalmed himself. "Don't flatter yourself, you idiot! I only reserved the honeymoon suite as part of our charade! And since I don't require sleep, only you will be occupying that bed!"

"Oh!" She sighed in relief, her cheeks growing pinker. "Right. You don't sleep. I, uh, nearly forgot."

Eager to get past the awkwardness, Lita set her suitcase down on the bed and occupied herself with exploring the rest of the room. Next to the bed was a long set of gold, drawn curtains that Lita could only assume covered a window. There was a flat-screen television on the wall across from the bed. Turning it on, Lita found there were at least fifty TV channels, all in French, and nearly a hundred movies available for rent. Those were at least available in multiple languages.

Another door led to a bathroom, which was also enormous. Along with two polished sinks, there was a shower and a jacuzzi tub. There was also some small footbath or something next to the toilet, which she didn't know the name of. She would ask Black Hat about it later.

Having finished with the bathroom, Lita decided to open the curtains. She gasped when she discovered that they didn't conceal a window, but glass doors to a balcony! It wasn't a very large balcony, but big enough for a small glass table and two spiral-framed chairs. Lita stepped out to get a better look at the city below.

Being on the nineteenth floor gave her an incredible view. She watched the lights of the many rushing vehicles dance in the darkness, the street lamps making the city look like a glowing grid. In the distance, she could see the glimmering outline of the famous Eiffel Tower, one of the many things she'd dreamed of seeing, but never thought she'd actually get to see!

"Warn me next time you open the curtains like that!" Black Hat exclaimed, stepping out in his human disguise.

"Sorry," she said, sending him an apologetic glance. "I just…it's all…" She leaned against the rail. "It's all so…so beautiful."

Black Hat glanced downward. "All I see is a city. At night."

Lita frowned at him. "I heard what you said in the cab, you know. How can you call all this boring?!"

He shrugged. "When you've seen something a thousand times, you start to lose interest." He lay his hands on the rail next to her. "Meanwhile, I simply cannot see what has you so entranced."

"You've seen Hatsville," she said, gesturing outward. "It's never like this at night! So…so…alive!" She sighed sadly. "Wish my mom and papi could see this. We used to go to the harbor all the time and watch the sunset. We'd…we'd talk about getting a boat—Papi said he was gonna steal one—and sailing out to meet that sunset. That's…that's…"

"How small your world was?"

She looked at him in surprise. "Y-Yeah."

He nodded as he took another glance at the city. "I suppose this isn't anything like the island. Must be overwhelming, seeing all of this for the first time."

"Well, yeah. But also…really exciting! Like I'm…I feel…"

"Significantly small?" His voice got quieter. "Now that you've discovered the world is much more immense than you'd thought?"

"Um…yeah. But at the same time, it's like I'm…big? Because I feel…you know, like…"

"Like you've been set free? Now that you're out in the world, you can go anywhere you please? That you should take as much of it in as possible?"

She stared at him silently for a long moment. "Y-Yeah. H-How did you—?"

"What are you wearing to the meeting?" Black Hat said, suddenly spinning around.

Tilting her head, Lita followed him back inside. The abrupt subject change was curious, but based on the tenseness in his shoulders, she decided not to press him.

"Oh," she said, going over to the bed. "Well, I packed a little something, if you want a look at it."

She quickly brushed the rose petals off the covers while Black Hat shut the curtains and took on his demon form. Lita then unzipped her suitcase and opened it up. The surprise she was met with caused her to squeak.

Laying on the very top was a small, very thin, black negligee.

"What the…how did…?" she said, taking a strap up between her fingers.

"My, my, Miss Gris," Black Hat said sultrily as he came up behind her. "I didn't think you were willing to take this whole honeymoon charade that far."

She looked back at him angrily. She knew that teasing smirk well enough.

"You put this in here, didn't you?" Lita said, holding the negligee up like a dirty diaper. "So, was I right that you do have an ulterior motive for this trip?!"

"Oh, no," he said with a toothy grin. "I just wanted to see your reaction."

With a grunt, she threw the negligee at his face, only for him to catch it in his claw. "You're a real pervert, you know that?!"

"You should've thought about that before you married me," Black Hat said, causing the negligee to burn up in his hand.

"Knock it off!" She turned back to her suitcase. "Anyway, this is my best work outfit. I bought it back when I was a secretary for—"

The demon frowned. "You're not wearing that to the meeting, are you?"

Lita picked up her smartest white blouse, and stared down at the khakis folded on top. "What's wrong with this?"

He rolled his eye as if it were obvious. "Well, it doesn't exactly scream 'professional villain' now, does it?"

"I thought we were supposed to lay low."

"Yes," Black Hat said, using his cane to swipe the blouse out of her hands. "But you're also part of a professional organization. In fact, I've been meaning to talk about your appearance for a while." He gestured to her body. "You look too innocent! You barely even resemble an adult!"

She gasped. "Hey! I can't help it if I'm a little short!"

"Your size isn't the point here!" He dragged her to a full-length mirror on the other side of the room. She was surprised to suddenly find herself in her white blouse and khakis. "You see? No villain is going to take you seriously dressed like an intern! Megamind hardly took you seriously last week!"

She scowled at him. "You were the one who teleported me in while I was cleaning the—"

"And while an innocent appearance is good for when you wish to lure someone into a false sense of security, it simply won't do when meeting a potential client for the first time! What's he going to think when I show up with someone so…cutesy as an entourage?"

Her face was growing red with rage. "Then why the hell do you keep 5—?"

"We'll just have to get you a proper work outfit before our meeting. Fortunately, there are plenty of clothing stores in Paris."

She was momentarily taken aback by that. "You mean you're gonna take me shopping in P—?"

"And our meeting is not until tomorrow, which will give us ample time to correct," Black Hat said, gesturing to her in disgust, "this."

That was the final straw.

"Alright, Mr. Fashion Police," Lita said, placing her hands on her hips. "Let's talk about your outfit for a moment!"

His jaw dropped. "My outfit?"

"Yes, your outfit!" Grabbing his shoulders, she moved him in front so that his reflection was in the mirror. "All this talk about blending in, putting on a human face, yet you stick out like a sore thumb with this Charles Dickins cosplay! Seriously, this isn't the nineteenth century!"

He gritted his teeth together. "This is a respectable ensemble!"

"Respectable and old!" she said with a huff. "It works when you're a villainous demon, but not as a human! Not even the Brits dress like this anymore! You're supposed to look like a newlywed on a vacation! A vacation! You're not going to the opera!"

"A very wealthy newlywed!" he said, gesturing to their extremely lavish hotel room.

"Okay, okay," she said holding up her hands. "So, you wanna blend in, but also show off your wealth. Give me a challenge, will ya?"

Crossing his arms, he turned to face her. "Why is this so important to you?"

She shrugged. "Call it a side effect from working in a bunch of clothing stores. Besides, I can't be embarrassed to be seen with you."

He clenched his claws into fists. "How dare you speak to me in that—?"

"Shut up, I'm thinking," she said, tapping her chin as she circled him. "First off, lose the spats. You're not Scrooge McDuck."

"I'm not going to stand here idly by while you blatantly insult my—"

"And what's with the gloves? We're inside! Plus, it's summer!" She paused. "Hey, why do you always wear gloves?"

Black Hat held up his claws. "They complete the ensemble."

She huffed. "Right. You sure it's not because you're afraid to touch people?"

His eye narrowed. "Excuse me?"

"Of course, I totally get it if you're a germophobe. It would explain a lot. After all, you didn't like it when I hug—"

Growling, he yanked the glove off his right hand. "I'll show you who's afraid!"

Lita was caught completely off-guard when her left hand was snatched up and he held it there for a long moment. Without the glove, his hand felt ten times colder, like her hand was encased in ice. There was nothing surprising about its appearance, as it was merely a claw-like hand, black like the rest of his body.

But despite how cold it was, its skin was surprisingly smooth. She supposed because of his ability to regenerate, he didn't get any blisters or callouses. His grip was firm, but not enough to hurt her. There was a shiver down her spine, which she blamed on the low temperature.

Black Hat's scowl faded away, once he realized this was the first time his skin was touching hers. Contrasting to his hand, hers was pleasantly warm. Her brown skin was soft on the surface, but he could feel the strong muscle beneath it. He felt a tingle down his spine, which he blamed on the high temperature.

Unable to take the iciness anymore, Lita yanked her hand out of his grasp.

"Sheesh," she said, rubbing her hand for warmth. "On second thought, keep the gloves on. You're less likely to give people hypothermia that way."

"R-Right," Black Hat said, snapping out of his daze as he put his glove back on. "You know, you do have a point." Turning back to the mirror, he put on his human disguise. "If I'm to go about incognito, I will have to change more than my face."

"Not to mention the hat is a dead giveaway," Lita said, flicking the brim of his hat.

"Don't," he said, slapping her hand away. "Touch. The hat."

"Sorry," she said, stepping back. "But considering it's your trademark, you're gonna have to make it look like something less conspicuous."

"Fine." He put his hands on his hips. "What would you suggest?"

"Hmm." She smiled mischievously. "You know, most tourists wear a Hawaiian shirt and baseball cap."

His scowl returned. "I'm going to strangle you."

"Alright, I'm done with the jokes anyway." She glanced down at her own attire. "How about we make a deal? You help me with my business outfit, I'll help you with your human disguise. Sound good?"

She held out her hand. He seemed hesitant to take it again, despite his glove being back on.

"You're not going to stop criticizing me until I let you do this, are you?" he asked bluntly.

She smirked. "What do you think?"

After a moment of hard staring, Black Hat sighed and shook her hand. "If you make me look like an idiot, I will kill you."

"Ditto," Lita said cheerfully. "Now, about that trench coat…"

"I've never seen so many different types of bread!" Lita exclaimed.

She and Black Hat were in the hotel's breakfast room. Apparently, no matter what you ordered, you got a huge basket of bread and pastries. She recognized the croissants and small baguettes, but there were at least five other kinds in the basket! Eager to try them all, Lita didn't even bother with the butter or jam and just started stuffing a random piece in her mouth.

"Oh my gosh!" she said between bites. "There's freaking chocolate in here?!"

Black Hat stopped sipping his tea to stare at her.

As per her suggestion, he had changed his clothes into something less outlandish. Instead of a trench coat, he wore a navy-blue blazer over a white undershirt. He had ditched his spats and tie, though kept his cane and gloves, the latter now white. His shoes were now brown, his slacks tan, as Lita had insisted those colors went better with navy. His top hat had been replaced with a gray fedora, as he had declared it would be unthinkable for him to go anywhere without any headgear. He still maintained a somewhat formal look, though a little more relaxed. At least this way, he didn't stand out as much.

"Now you look like someone I'd be married to," Lita had said back in the hotel room.

After a glance at her so-called work outfit, he had responded, "Wish I could say the same for you."

Though he had to admit when it came to human fashion, she knew what she was talking about. At least he didn't feel ridiculous.

As she gorged on the different types of bread, it occurred to Black Hat that he had never seen her eat before, as he'd always dined apart from the others. She ate quite voraciously, not taking many pauses between bites. Yet somehow, she managed not to choke herself, or make a mess.

"You eat as if you don't know when your next meal is going to be," he said aloud.

"Well," Lita said, biting off half a croissant, "that used to be the case." She swallowed. "You know, when I had to work to pay off my papi's debts to you." Shrugging, she picked up a baguette. "Guess it's become a habit to just enjoy as much as I can."

She eyed the teacup in his hand. "What about you? You gonna have some?"

"I don't require as much sustenance as you humans," he said, taking a sip.

She chomped on her baguette. "Why do you have us cook for you then?"

"While it isn't necessary for me to eat," he said, setting the cup down on his saucer, "I still enjoy the taste of food."

"Right." Rolling her eyes, she scarfed down the rest of the baguette. "You eat all the food we prepare for you when you don't even need it. Probably don't even know what it's like for the rest of us who can barely afford to feed ourselves."

"You'd be surprised," he said in a whisper.

Lita tilted her head as she grabbed a pain au chocolat. "So, why don't you eat now?"

"Oh, I never eat in front of others."

"Why?" She bit into the pastry. "You really messy or something?"

Instead of answering her, he simply said, "Please, don't talk with your mouth full. It's unseemly."

After breakfast, Black Hat escorted Lita outside. As it'd been so long since she'd seen the sun, her eyes took a while to adjust to the light.

"So," she said, rubbing her eyes. "Are we taking a cab?"

"We're in no hurry," Black Hat said as he began strolling down the street. "We can walk."

"Walk?"

As soon as she could see, the sight of the many people moving around her shocked her. Apparently, Paris was a lot more crowded than Hatsville. And noisier too. And smellier. Her nose twitched from the many lit cigarettes polluting the air. Her stomach churned from seeing so many people in one place. So many hands in one place.

Tightening the straps on her backpack, she ran to catch up to Black Hat.

"No problem!" she squeaked as she clung to her fake husband's arm. "I, uh, used to walk around town all the time! It's, uh, good exercise!"

Her touch caused him to flinch, but he didn't say anything as they were supposed to be married. He wondered why she was suddenly so nervous, however. Perhaps she was overthinking their charade again.

She was still wearing that white blouse and khakis. She'd probably been in no mood to change. It really did make her look younger than she actually was. Which, of course, would make their pretense problematic.

I should've thought this through, he thought. Who would believe I'm married to a little thing like her?

"Nope," Black Hat said gruffly. "That won't do either."

Lita glanced down at the outfit she had tried on. It was a smart black blazer with matching pants.

"Now what's wrong with this one?" she said, turning around in front of the three-way mirror. "It's your favorite color, isn't it?"

He shook his head. "You look like you're selling insurance."

Placing her hands on her hips, she faced him. "You said business casual!"

"Yes, but not so…" He cringed as he looked her over. "Cutesy."

She groaned. "That's what you said about the last five outfits! Ever considered the fact that I just might be cute?!"

"You're not supposed to look cute! You're representing our organization!"

"Says the guy who has a freaking Care Bear as a housekeeper!"

"That was not my idea! I can't kill the thing, so I have no choice but to—"

"May I be of some assistance?" a blonde woman in an employee's uniform asked, stepping up to the couple.

Black Hat was about to tell her to stay out of their business, when Lita exclaimed, "Yes! I'm trying to find an outfit for a, uh…office party, but my bo—husband here seems to think all the outfits I pick are too," she sent him a furious look, "cutesy!"

He growled at her. "I am simply saying she could do with something a bit more sophisticated! Something that makes her look more ev—I mean mature!"

"But I still have to be able to move in it, you know?"

The employee nodded. "Like…how you say in English…casual smart?"

"Yes!" Lita threw her hands up in the air in gratitude. "Exactly that!"

"I may know just the thing!" the French woman said brightly. "If I may?"

"Certainly!" Black Hat said, eager to try anything to get this over with. "Talk some fashion sense into this woman!"

"Says the guy who still wears spats," Lita murmured before going back behind the curtain to change.

The employee returned a few minutes later with a bundle of gray. She handed it to Lita so fast, Black Hat didn't have time to inspect it.

"I think your husband will like it, madame," she whispered to Lita.

Lita nodded politely as she disappeared behind the curtain.

Black Hat eyed the French woman suspiciously. "I swear, if what you picked turns out to be—"

"You say 'cutesy' one more time," Lita called from behind the curtain, "and I will stab you in the eye!"

The saleswoman forced a chuckle. "You Americans with your humor."

"Yeah, we're real funny!"

When Lita stepped out, Black Hat's fake eyes widened. She wore a gray, A-line military walker coat, embellished with six black double-breasted buttons. The collar was low, showing the black shirt underneath. She also wore thin black pants that matched her boots from Flug perfectly. Lita posed in front of the mirrors, admiring herself from all angles.

"Huh," she said with a nod. "From one salesgirl to another, you do pretty good work, mademoiselle. What do you think, bo—err, honey?"

Black Hat gripped the hilt of his cane. "It's, um…decent. But…it's still missing something."

Lita rubbed her chin in thought. While the outfit did look good on her, she didn't think this was the "villain" look her boss had in mind. Glancing at him in the mirror, at the outfit she had chosen for him, she got an idea.

"Maybe it needs a…hat?" She turned to the saleswoman. "A chapeau?"

"Oui, madame!" the lady said, holding up a finger. "One moment, s'il vous plait!"

She returned a few minutes later with a wide-brimmed hat the same color as the coat, with a black band around it. She put it on Lita, who had trouble fitting it with her ponytail pushing up against it. After a thought, she took out her scrunchie and fluffed her hair out before putting the hat on. When she looked in the mirrors, Lita laughed.

"I look like a gray Carmen Sandiego!" She straightened out the hat. "Kind of appropriate, huh,querido?"

If she'd been paying attention to Black Hat's reflection, she would've seen his mouth open, his eyes wandering up and down her body. He'd been training her to be a villainess, but this was the first time she looked the part. Professional, yet with a suggestion of slyness. And with her hair down like that, she appeared less cutesy and more… He couldn't find the word. Mature? Yes, that was it. This outfit was certainly more mature than her usual ones, bumping her up from a youthful twenty-five to a distinguished thirty.

Not only did she look more villainous, but someone he could be married to. For the charade's sake, of course.

"Or maybe the hat is too much?" Lita said, a bit unsurely. "What do you think, Mr. Bla—I mean, uh, Cyrus?" When she received no reply, she turned around to find her boss wearing a dumbfounded expression. "C-Cyrus? Are you okay?"

Black Hat shook his head. "I-It'll do."

"Really?" she said in surprise. "No nitpicks? No insults? No 'it's too cutesy?'"

"No," he said with a huff.

The saleslady giggled. "I think he likes it."

His human face became pinker. "I do not!"

"So, we're not getting it then?" Lita asked in confusion.

"No, didn't you hear me?! It's perfect!" He turned to the French woman. "Now ring us up, will you?! We've wasted enough time already!"

As the pretend couple walked the streets of Paris side by side, Lita began noticing the many people looking at her as they passed by. Self-consciously, she shoved her hands into the pockets of her new coat and slouched over, as she had done in Hatsville. Unfortunately, that didn't seem to stop the stares from piercing into her.

Why are all these people looking at me? Are they all out to mug me?!

She didn't realize one of the stares was coming from her fake husband. Without meaning to, Black Hat found himself glancing sideways at her every few seconds, catching glimpses of her new ensemble. He never thought he'd say this about another being, let alone one of his employees, but he took pleasure in the way she looked. Not just with how much more she resembled a villain, but the fact that her hair was out of its ponytail. Had it always been that long? That…thick?

He couldn't understand it. He'd never been an admirer of human beauty—or any beauty, for that matter—and yet he found the sight of Lita aesthetically pleasing. There was a sort of awe about her today that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Maybe it was her captivating new outfit. Maybe it was the curious gleam in her baby-blue eyes, or the delightful smile that sprouted on her face whenever she saw something new.

But then her face twisted into an anxious expression, and her baby-blue eyes flicked around in panic. He watched in confusion as she slouched over, her hat tipping forward, as if she didn't want to be seen. It was then that he noticed the many people stealing glances at her. Most of them men.

Black Hat knew why they were looking at her with those lustful eyes. He knew what they were thinking in those sick brains of theirs. Didn't they realize this woman belonged to him? True, she wasn't really his wife, but she was still his property.

And Black Hat didn't like it when others coveted his property.

Sending a subtle glare to a few passing men, the disguised demon snaked his hand around Lita's waist, bringing her close to him. The message was clear, as fewer stares lingered on them now.

Lita was startled to feel her boss' cold hand on her waist, but didn't complain as she was pressed to his side. It was actually reassuring, knowing he was there, and that no one would try to pick her pocket or pull her into an alley with him at her side. Then she concluded that he had probably done this as part of their pretense, but was still grateful.

"You, uh," Lita said, hoping conversation would take her mind off all the people around her, "said we weren't meeting the client until tomorrow. What are we supposed to do until then?"

"I was wondering when you'd ask," Black Hat said, spinning his cane around. "I thought we could tour the city, see the sights."

She looked up at him in surprise. "R-Really?"

He smirked at her. "You said you wanted to see the world, didn't you? Spend at least one day off the island?"

She moved a little away from him. "You…you'd do that? I mean you said you'd been here before already. I don't want you to get bored."

"I'd be even more bored if we just stayed in the hotel all day. Besides, I want to see if this miserable city has changed at all since last I was here."

"When was the last time you were here?"

He gave a toothy grin that would've been a whole lot creepier had he still had his fangs. "You heard about that fire on Notre Dame?"

Lita stopped in her tracks. "That…that was you?"

Black Hat nodded with a chuckle.

"Why?"

He shrugged. "It was a slow day."

"Caramba," she said, shaking her head. "I may be atheist, but burning a place of worship just for the fun of it? That's just cold, dude."

"I'm a demon, what do you expect?"

They continued walking.

"Wouldn't it be faster to take a cab?" Lita asked. "Or a bus? Or the metro?"

"I like walking," he said, folding a hand behind his back. "It allows me to take in my surroundings properly."

She cocked an eyebrow. "I didn't take you for a stop-and-smell-the-roses kind of guy."

He leaned in to whisper, "I prefer to smell the deadly nightshade."

Lita coughed as she fanned her hand between herself and her boss. "You changed your skin, but you couldn't have fixed your breath?"

Black Hat only snickered. "Apologies, but my all-soul diet doesn't exactly produce minty freshness."

He breathed on her more, causing her to laugh as she pushed his face away.

"You are so gross!"

"You're the one who married me," he said, waving his ring.

"Yeah, well you're this close to getting a divorce." She smirked. "Or maybe I'll just murder you and inherit all your money."

"I suspected you were a gold-digger. I just thought you'd be more subtle about it."

"Well, you did get us a fancy hotel room and this nice new outfit." Lita tipped her hat. "Being a black widow sounds much better than being a trophy wife."

"In that case, I should write you out of my will, leave everything to Flug."

"Just Flug? At least leave something to Dementia, after her heartbreak from you getting married to someone else."

"Very well then. She can have my weapons vault." He nudged her arm. "All you'll be getting is my finest piece of rope, so that you may hang yourself."

"Ha!" Lita placed her hands on her hips. "Well, if you're not leaving me anything, I'll just divorce you and settle for half your fortune. And with your abusive history, I'll get custody of our dozen kids."

"Good luck with that! I've got every lawyer on the island in my pocket! You'd be lucky if you get my car!"

"But since most courts favor the wife, you'd end up with the short end of the—"

"Excuse me?" said a voice.

Lita tensed as she felt a tap on her shoulder. Out of instinct, she grabbed the stranger's wrist with one hand, spun around, gripped their arm with her other hand, and flung them to the ground. Popping up her boot, she whipped out one of her knives and pointed it at her assailant's neck.

"Hey, hey! Easy! I just wanted to ask if you knew where the Eiffel Tower was!"

She finally took the time to look at her "attacker." It was a large white man in a baseball cap and an "I Heart Paris" shirt. Sure enough, a travel book was in his hand. Blushing in embarrassment, Lita released him and put her knife away.

"S-Sorry," she said, stepping back. "I, uh…I was just…"

The American tourist sprang up and ran as far away from her as possible. Black Hat had watched this entire scene with wide eyes. By the time Lita turned to him, he was snickering.

"I know I often injure strangers for no reason. But I hardly think that was called for."

"He, just, um…" Lita bit her lip. "Startled me. That's all."

"I see." He noted that she was slouching again. "A little high-strung today, are we?"

"Well, it's just…" Glancing around, she took a step closer to Black Hat. "Usually when I walk the streets, someone is trying to mug me."

He nodded, remembering her nervousness earlier. She probably wasn't so used to so much attention from strangers. Her tendency to wear plain attire, despite having an apparent knowledge of fashion, was starting to make sense now.

"I can understand that," he said. "But this isn't Hat Island. Although, I suppose Paris has its fair share of crime as well. And it would be easier for one to pick another's pocket in a crowd like this."

"Not helping," she said with a scowl.

"First needles, then flying, now crowds." He tsked. "Honestly, Miss Gris, why must your fears be so basic?"

Her face turned red. "At least they're rational! Mostly!"

Sighing, Black Hat placed a hand on her shoulder. "You'll make yourself an easier target, looking all tense and vulnerable like that, my dear. If you're going to be a villain, you'll need to correct the way you carry yourself out in public." He threw up his cane and caught it. "Be poised, relaxed, with an air of confidence."

"Easy for you to say," she said, brushing his hand off her shoulder. "If you get attacked, you'd just beat the perp to a pulp."

"As can you," he said, his cane pointing in the direction the tourist had run, "as you've so graciously demonstrated."

He had a point.

"So stop walking around all hunched over and paranoid like everyone is about to devour you," he said gruffly. "You look like easy prey."

"But if I don't stay alert for—"

"Miss Gris," he said, moving behind her, "take a look." He gestured to the crowd surrounding them. "You're smarter and stronger than at least ninety percent of these maggots here."

She scrunched her nose. "Ninety?"

"Excluding that group of bodybuilders over there and myself, of course. The point is," he said, coming back round to face her, "you have the skill to defend yourself, and shouldn't spend so much time fretting about potential danger that may or may not come. Yes, it is good to be aware of your surroundings, but not to a point where you're reacting without thought, and not taking the time to live in the moment."

He gave her a serious look. "I know how confident you are in your abilities. Now show it."

She blinked up at him. "H-How?"

Lita yelped as his cane struck her back.

"Back straight," he said, gripping her shoulders, "shoulders back," he lifted her chin with his finger, "chin up, eyes forward, ears open. Walk with pride, like you own everything around you, like nothing can ruin your day. And if anything does…well, you know what to do then."

His cane tapped against her legs, causing her to stumble forward. After sending him a glare, Lita proceeded to walk as per his instructions. She didn't see the point in this. Of course, Black Hat would walk like he owned everything. That was at least the case back on the island.

Then she realized the difference in keeping her eyes ahead rather than towards the ground. She could see everything better. In the daylight, she had a better view of the buildings. They were so much taller than the ones in Hatsville, and much more intricately designed. They were old-fashioned in a stylish way, each one distinct in color. The street they were walking on was also made of cobblestones, with bicycles going by alongside the cars. Upon hearing music, she spied a group of performers across the road.

The bounce in her step increased by the second. Why had she been so nervous? She was in Paris! Not the crime capital of the world! All her life, she'd dreamed of coming to a city like this, and here she was! This day was hers and nothing was going to ruin it!

Just then, somebody tapped on her shoulder. Lita spun around, her hands clenched into fists, but she did not attack immediately. Black Hat stood there with a satisfied grin.

"See?" he said. "Still as alert as ever. And you were taking pleasure in your surroundings, yes?"

She relaxed under his gaze. "Err…yeah. Wow. You knew what you were talking about."

"Of course, I did." He moved to her side. "Remember, I've been traveling much longer than you." He held out his arm. "Shall we then, my lady?"

There was one more reason for Lita not to be nervous. Back in Hatsville, she'd walked the streets alone. Now she didn't have to. And she didn't know if it was his human disguise, or his gentlemanly demeanor, but she didn't feel so uncomfortable with him anymore. Today, he wasn't her boss, but her traveling companion.

"Oui, oui, monsieur," Lita said, accepting his arm.

As they strutted the street together, those who dared to glance their way couldn't help but admire what a sophisticated couple they made.

Told you a lot would be happening in Paris.

I knew I was going to have them go on a trip somewhere, and I chose Paris for a number of reasons. Other than it being the clichéd romance destination, I'd actually been to Paris and I took French class. Also, it was a huge contrast to how I'd set up Hatsville (turns out that's the city's name and it's only a part of Hat Island). Not to mention there was a certain villain living there.

So, when coming up with Lita's outfit, I sort of had a Carmen Sandiego thing in mind, but didn't want to copy it too much. Then one day, this lady came into my workplace wearing the coat described in here (gray too), and I thought it was perfect! The muse works in mysterious ways.

Paris fluff is not over yet! This chapter was just getting long. UGH! This couple just won't shut up!